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Humorous Couplet Poems | Couplet Poems About Humorous

These Humorous Couplet poems are examples of Couplet poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of Humorous Couplet poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Couplet |

Horse From Mars

HORSE FROM MARS

It came from the sky, a gray silver stallion.
I looked up high, and I have also seen a dragon.

With so many things in this universe.
I'm on stand-by with a camera in my purse. 

Who would have known I'd be the first to spot a PEGASUS.
The town folks wave hi every time I walk my hippopotamus.

I enjoy showing everyone, my pictures of a flying horse.
I don't see why they call a DOCTOR every time I call the TASK FORCE

I think they are jealous over all the things I've seen.
They act all crazy since I sighted a LEPRECHAUN when I was fourteen.

No one ever believed me when I saw an army of dragonflies.
They have a name for me "the boy who See's too much in the skies!"

I don't know why they can't see what I see.
For all I know they are all experiments under Alien Technology.

They don't believe me how I got this magic MEDALLION.
It was a friendly gift from the silver stallion.

I also have many pictures of a  UNICORN.
We became best-friends when he gave me a piece of its magic horn.

We sat together while he drank from the lake.
We enjoyed talking, --talking about how U.F.O.'s are fake.

Why can't they see? The day I fell off a boat, I got rescued by a MERMAID!
Who would have known a mermaid swim around with first-aid.

I also remember the day I followed a LEPRECHAUNS.
We were playing under the rainbow having so much fun.

When I told my doctor about all the things I've seen.
He locked me in a DUNGEON, thinking I was the ALIEN QUEEN.

I begged and I told him I don't believe in any type of alien.
Too bad the master of this dungeon came from another region.

In a way he looks like that one SILVER STALLION from Mars.
The first creature I'd seen the day I fell off the monkey bars.

I have this picture of this horse of course.
JUST help me out of this white-jacket!!! ;-)
If you want to see the coolest picture of a flying horse. 

   ~SKAT~
       &
(A small collaboration with: B-Boy)

re-post for ~FUNNY CONTEST


Details | Couplet |

Dreaming

Will poems to my dull senses rise,
     In plainer garb, or apt disguise?
Can turn of phrase else serve an end,
     To vanquish foes or win a friend?

What ardor gains a rhyme’s release,
     To grant me treasured moment’s peace?
So is it merely hubris’ child,
    That lets me dream I’m Oscar Wilde!

2nd Place, Best Poetic Form, Poet Destroyer A


Details | Couplet |

Best Feet Forward

I thought I could love a Russian Girl.
Her lips were divine, pretty like a rose
She was lovely, with the cutest curl.
Why couldn't I stop looking at her toes?

I swear they were twisted, not one was straight.
Sure her dress showed off her sexy form.
Those open sandles, they didn't look great!
Within my mind, I was completely torn.

I may be shallow, a horrible guy.
My foot fetish is far from a joke
Staying with her I would surely die.
If I sucked those toes I'm sure I'd choke

Some like big boobs that flop all about.
For me it's a foot, perfect and petite.
Still others prefer a woman more stout.
I'm cursed to be a man attracted to feet


For Dr. Ram Metha's Chastuski Me contest.  ABAB form


Details | Couplet |

Aphrodisiacs

Oh honey, oh honey are you coming to bed
I assure you, my darling, this thing ain't dead

I've swallowed some oysters, and eaten a fig
Just wait and see, it's going to be really big

I know that happened last time, it won't happen again
Got chocolate to get blood, pumping through my vein

You're right I'm forty and on that anti-depressant drug
But it doesn't mean we can't get freaky down on the rug

For lunch I had an asparagus,avocado, and arugula salad
Come closer my princess, for I'm the dark knight in this ballad

I 've tried coffee, honey, pomegranate, yohimbe and beets
For a night of deep passion and to share in your treats

Oh honey, oh honey come join me in bed
I need to hold you closely and rest my head




Details | Couplet |

Man in Kitchen

Man in Kitchen

So this is it, this place I’ve never been
I wander in and find it’s kept pristine
So this is where she disappears
And later on the food appears

Ah well! I’ll have to do my best
I think I’ll try that chicken breast
All I have to do right now
Is figure out the where and how

Unsuccessful, heaven knows
Why these things come all froze
But of one thing now I’m sure
There’s nothing for me in that drawer

Boiled potatoes, that sounds nice
Maybe with a pan of rice
Doors are banging, pans are flying
She can’t say that I’m not trying, hah

How much rice should I whack in
Sod it, shove the whole pack in
In the pan the waters pouring
This cookery I’m am so exploring

Pans are bubbling, all seems well
I’m creating such sweet smell
Now I see the rice exploding
And potatoes are imploding

This is harder than I thought
An easy meal I tried to sort
All my efforts are now gloop
So think I’ll fill on poetrysoup

Later on that night she says
Lets move the earth in many ways
Sorry dear, tonight no quakes
I have one of your headaches


Richard D Seal

11 March 2013











Details | Couplet |

Mighty Mighty Spider

Now usually when a spider finds its way into my home
I squash it right away saying, hey my space alone

But one day I came upon a fuzzy little spider there upon my dryer
Frantically running up and down the chrome strip which looked like a mirror

He bravely reared up and fought this villain in his way
Up and down this battle raged a good part of the day

I laughed so hard my stomach hurt, but he didn't care
He boldly continued his plight, the enemy was near

The battle over and he's laying still, I wonder to myself
Was it victory? Or was he awaiting his pending death?

I gently took him outside and placed him on a tree
And told him, you're the mightiest little spider I ever did see

©Donna Jones


Details | Couplet |

Our Christmas Eve Dinner

'Twas our Christmas Eve dinner; we all had sat down at the table to eat. Grandma couldn’t be found! We children were fussing; Dad rose to his feet. shouting, “Where are you, Ma? We’re ready to eat!” When from the next room we heard such a noise Jenny squealed, “Santa Claus must have brought toys!” We then heard a sound like a whimpering pup saying, “Help. I’ve fallen and cannot get up.” Grandpa jumped up and then rushed to the door that led to the bathroom. There on the floor lay our poor grandma, eyes widened in fear, looking like she’d got run over by reindeer! The dresser had fallen. It had her pinned down. Grandma was wildly flailing around. More swiftly than Rudolph, we did all we were able. We unpinned her. Then Mom yelled, “Back to the table!” Back to the dining room all we kids came As our mom started to call us by name. “Davy, Mel, Jenny, Angie, Marie. . . Get back here now. I’m counting to three!” Like animals not having eaten all day, stuck in a cage without getting their way, we sat at that table our bellies all growling, and Davy, the baby, by now was howling. And then finally what did appear? Dad with our grandpa and grandma so dear! Supported by both our grandpa and dad, Grandma was flushed and looking quite bad. She was dressed in a housecoat trimmed in white lace and a big purple bruise had now formed on her face. Mom pulled out a chair helping Grandma to sit, and then our dad bellowed, “OK, have at it!” Our mouths how they watered to see the large ham. “And that isn’t all,” said Mom, “I made lamb!” Her small pretty mouth was turned up in a grin, “The food’s getting cold now. Children, dig in.” Our dad how he laughed as he poured lots of gravy onto his potatoes and kidded with Davy. And Grandma sat smiling despite her great fall while Grandpa gulped spiked nog, not talking at all. With eyes that seemed bigger than my own belly, I dished out big spoonfuls of cranberry jelly. Mom winked and I knew I had nothing to dread. Her pleasure was in us all being well fed. I went straight to work at stuffing my face when suddenly Mom said, “We didn’t say grace!” We closed our eyes listening to our dad’s prayer. I peeked but was met by my mom’s warning stare! Dad finished the prayer with a hearty Amen. Then we were all grabbing Mom’s fixings again. When the food had all vanished and our stomachs hurt, we heard Dad exclaim, “So what’s for dessert?” Written 12/15/12 For Francine Roberts' "Christmas Dinner With Humor" Poetry contest


Details | Couplet |

The Lover

The lover, bold beyond his years, 
loved when she held him by his ears, 
as in their bless'ed mingling place, 
he kissed her as he washed his face.
For ever he'd have stayed down there, 
but for his need to rise for air.
And at the end when they both rose, 
up from their lust to put on clothes, 
he saw within her looking glass, 
his naked image, sagging arse, 
and knew his past did best his future.
Or they don't make mirrors like they useter.


Details | Couplet |

Catch My Drift



Strange how it goes, they're waiting their turn To flood my thoughts, these ideas to burn Other times nothing, just rack my old brain Get all pooped out, my attempts are in vain Is there no place smack dab in the middle Where rhymes reside and efforts are little Why do we suffer a blankness at times There must be a pill for starting these rhymes Oh well, I'm really having the time of my life Annoying struggles just add to the spice We'd ALL be poets if these rhymes came easy Wouldn't stand out with our words so breezy Do you catch my drift, am I making any sense Keep plugging away, don't be so damn tense Rhymes will soon come, have ye no doubt Flooding your brain, you'll stand up and shout Lordy, I'm a poet just knew it all along My heart doth sing a happiness thong! © Jack Ellison 2013


Details | Couplet |

Why Medicare Is Goin' Bust

A feller went to the doctor's office 'cause he wasn't feelin' well.
The doctor said, "You ain't lookin' all that swell, this I can tell!"

He had a banana stuck in his right ear and a celery stalk in his left!
From his nose dangled a pair of carrots thus leavin' him quite bereft!

The doc without further examination relieved him from his plight,
Sayin', "You gotta change yer eatin' habits!  You're not eatin' right!"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


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