They ask me why I’m so happy
Asking me, if I just won a prize
I replied, well I reckon I did
Today is a wonderful surprise
When you have a past like mine
My today is always bright
There is no better feeling on earth
Than the joy of doing right
I may be an old man on a cane
My heart is skipping along
I learned to embrace the meaning
Life is a beautiful song
True life has its ups and downs
There’ll be forks in the road
With a smile I’ll stop for a while
Help you with your load
I had me a bag of popcorn today
It tasted exceptionally good
In fact, I will go as far as to say
Better then it probably should
For years, I had a guard in the pen
Popped him a bag each night
Then he would simply throw it away
His twisted little delight
He knew, it was those little things
Ate at our heart and soul
Movie with the wife Friday night
Popcorn in the bowl
I had a bag of popcorn today
Wife sitting at my side
I had a smile, which lasted awhile
One I could not hide
They ask me why I’m so happy
Asking me, if I won a prize
I replied, I reckon I did
Today is a wonderful surprise
For some reason today I was thinking about C.O. Talbert and
how he would pop a bag of popcorn even though he didn't eat
popcorn. He did it just because he knew it would make everyone
want some. I always felt sorry for him. His life must have been
very disappointing. The moral here: when you learn to appreciate
the little things in life your popcorn will taste a whole lot better.
No where near a force of nature.
Challenging the things that are not for sure.
Building what we can survive.
A small measurement when we strive.
Lessons when it comes to strength.
Multiplying the time found in length.
Stop and learn the sound of weakness.
Hard to find when one is restless.
Improving in a mental task.
The answers are found when we ask.
Stamina is needed between me and you.
To perform bravely in all we do.
Losing the ability to rump for long.
You're out of shape comes in way too wrong.
The idea is to learn when ideas seem to fail.
The wrong action is to bail.
Thinking, thinking what could it be.
Will not solve the problem between you and me.
Practice is the best energy.
Memorize it and stamina will come naturally.
Be it known as convenience food, junk food or munchies;
whether spicy, melt-in-your-mouth soft, or crunchy,
food, inglorious food, seduces with ease
and ensnares with the emptiest of calories.
Disguised as a comfort food comes macaroni
with creamy Alfredo and kin, Fettucini,
To not be outdone, spaghetti entices
with large fattening meatballs and sauce rich in spices.
“Deep fried” knows our weakness for fat, which gives pleasure
and saturates fast foods, it seems, in great measure:
KFC (finger-licking), batter-fried fishes
and chicken fried steaks -high cholesterol dishes.
Even fruits will attack with enjoyment unhealthy
as tarts, pies or pastries. That apple is stealthy!
Veggies can also be treacherous things
in guise of corn fritters and gold onion rings.
Too much of a good thing is pizza (so cunning,
so meaty, so cheesy), which no one is shunning.
The taco, burrito, and big burger too
in great numbers descend on us. What can we do?
Those delectable luscious desserts that we eat
have only to sit there; we cannot retreat!
Candies and chocolate, our decadent sin,
sweetly defeat us. We simply give in.
Ice cream, a smooth foe, knows when we are blue.
On a cone or a spoon, it drips, waiting for you.
As a milkshake, a frosty, a sundae or float,
or between split bananas, it sure floats MY boat!
Buttered popcorn is one salty foe, and we love it!
The hot dog implores in our mouths that we shove it.
Baked bread, so alluring, entraps with its scent,
which wafts through the air as if heaven sent!
The standards of junk food -America’s pride -
crisp bacon and nachos, chips and foods fried,
invade our malls’ food courts and lurk high and low.
Their smells overwhelm us wherever we go!
We might try but we can’t make our junk food desist.
for only the health nuts can dare to resist.
In the war with inglorious food I adore,
I say, Bring it on! Here’s my plate; I want more.
For the The Synathroesmic Cat Contest Poetry contest of Suzanne Delaney
*So now you can all know why I try to get to the gym a lot. hahaha
A Christmas dinner that can’t be beat
Here is the menu of what we’ll eat
Mashed potatoes whipped smooth and fluffy
Green bean casserole; nice and crunchy
Pickles and olives on a perfect relish tray
Cranberry delight that’s been chilling all day
Sweet potatoes such tasty treats
Hot rolls steaming both white and wheat
Homemade honey butter and strawberry jam
A gorgeous honey glazed Christmas ham
Turkey and noodles are piping hot
A fuzzy naval salad; I almost forgot
A slow roasted turkey golden brown
And broccoli rice casserole; pass it around
For dessert we’ve a variety of tasty treats
Tons of scrumptious goodies to eat
Chocolate chip cookies and brownies so sweet
Four kinds of pies including minced meat
It’s all there so fill up your plate
I’m getting mine, I can hardly wait
A is for Avocado, the creamy, green nutritious fat.
B is for Berries, the fruit that keeps your tummy flat.
C is for Chia, most nutrient-dense of all the seeds.
D is for Dandelion - it's more than just a pesky weed!
E is for Eggs, the perfect snack to keep you lean.
F is for Flax - to sprinkle lightly on your greens.
G is for Ginger, the spice that fights off germs and soothes.
H is for Honey, nature's cure for the sweetest tooth.
I is for Iodine - from salt, it keeps your thyroid sound.
J is for Jalapeno, the red-hot kick to melt those pounds.
K is for Kale - to be lightly steamed without the stem.
L is for Lettuce, its popular and crunchy friend.
M is for Milk, for sparkling teeth and sturdy bones.
N is for Nuts - a handful and your tum won't groan.
O is for Oats, fiber-filled and gluten-free.
P is for Pistachios, sly cholesterol's enemy.
Q is for Quinoa, the complete protein that fills you up.
R is for Raisins - a ton of iron in a quarter cup.
S is for Salmon, the oily fish with omega-3.
T is for Tomatoes, nature's very own sunscreen!
U is for Udon, the pasta you can eat guilt-free
V is for Vinegar - it makes dressings low in calories.
W is for Water, which hydrates to de-bloat your gut.
X is for Xylocarp, a fancy term for coconut.
Y is for Yogurt, the probiotic masterpiece.
Z is for Zucchini, which lowers risk of heart disease.
Your body is a temple, I'm sure you've all been told,
So fill it up with healthy foods, and you'll grow young - not old!
(P.S. In case anyone doesn't know, "Quinoa" is pronounced "keen-wah")
For Cyndi's "Z is for Zaria" contest
When you make your wife into a baby machine
You can’t complain there’s not enough food to eat
I mean, what were you thinking with ten kids to feed?
Food would fall from the sky? Rain eggs, bread, or meat?
You had to have known, say by three kids or four,
That you would eventually need MORE food than before
Don’t act like you’re stupid, it’s plain to see
That what you really wanted, was a sex machine
Damn the consequences, the babies that came
Who cares if they starve? Certainly you’re not to blame
10/17/11 - posted 4/4/12
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh I’ve got a secret to tell
I’ll whisper it to you; as I don’t like to yell
I’ve discovered a monster living in my house
It’s very very quiet, as quiet as a mouse
The biscuit tin is empty, not even a single crumb
Yet the packet was brand new, not even undone
All the chocolate is gone, oh what can I do
If I find the culprit I’ll bid him adieu
He invades my fridge when I’m not looking
I’ve not poisoned him yet as he survives my cooking
A miracle has happened since my son returned to university
I’ve not had to keep the kitchen cupboards under lock and key
Contest: Monsters and Marvels
Sponsor: Debbie Guzzi
~awarded 4th place~
When they married he was as thin as a rake
But his wife she loves to bake
She thinks the way to his heart
Is to practice her culinary art
He’s been eating all her pies
You should see his thunder thighs
He’s in love, this he cannot disguise
Now his tum is as wide as his eyes
His wife puts on a good spread
Has his fill then he falls into bed
He’d love a bit more bedroom action
But he can’t get no satisfaction
Apple pies make him tired and sleepy
His mum thinks he’s looking quite peaky
He would love to go on a diet
But his wife wont let him try it
She says cooking is her passion
As for sex that’s now on ration
He can’t live like this any more
Packs his bags and heads for the door
Moves out and joins a new gym
Loses weight and starts to get thin
Meets a girl on an exercise bike
Tells his wife she can 'go take a hike'
Now he’s happy with the girl of his dreams
And his clothes aren’t bursting at the seams
Contest:-Plentitude of Pies
Sponsor:-Sheri Fresonke Harper
I bought all the candy for Halloween night,
Into the cupboard, it sat in plain sight
When later I looked, I just about flipped!
I saw empty wrappings, the bags were all ripped!
The treats were all missing,...so back to the store
I bought several bags, at least three or four.
Now back in my kitchen, I climbed on a chair
To hide them up high on a shelf that was bare...
Behind an old crock pot that he'd never use...
But would you believe, he discovered my ruse?!!!
The big night arrived and much to my grief
The candy had been eaten by that darn sweet toothed thief!!!!
The door bell was ringing, trick-or-treaters had come
I ducked out the back door, and fast did I run!!
Right back to the store, I flew like a witch...
The clerks heard me cursing, like a grouchy old b - - - -!
The store had no candy, sold out every piece
No Big Hunks, no Snickers, no Hersheys or Reese
I bought bags of apples.... gave them out in disgrace
Every kid on the block had disgust on his face
The next Halloween, I'm not buying ahead
I'm a last minute shopper for the candy, instead..
And to all you folks, who buy treats in advance
My advice to you all, is don't take such a chance!
Something else you should learn, from this frustrating tale...,
Next time you buy candy, attach some loud bells!!
------------ P.S.... (A Moral to the story, for an evening so gory)....
He was licking his chops, while he had his sweet binge
But goblins were watching, ........and took their revenge....
That Halloween scrooge...Mr. Thief in the Night
He chipped his back molar, as he took that last bite!!
Submitted for "Funny Spooks" contest
Sponsored by Carol Brown
I am the predator you watch up in the sky
Blessed by the Lord with the keenest of eyes
I nest in the canyons high up on the walls
Keeping my babies safe from it all
When my babies grow hungry and it's time to feed
I rely on my senses to provide what they need
As I take to the sky it's so clear to see
You think of freedom while looking at me
Protected from hunters I've no need to hide
As upon the currents I gracefully glide
As I circle the sky throughout the day
I scour the ground searching for prey
When prey is spotted I go into my dive
Know that speed and accuracy are how I survive
You duck and you dodge for no use at all
With you held in my talons I fly back up the wall
Back to the nest to the fruit of my seed
For you are the food my babies need
Then back to the sky where I notice under a tree
One peaceful poet is writing of me
Steak pies is my favourite to eat with vegetables for dinner
With succulent pastry which couldn't be thinner
Meat and gravy are cooked in unison
Making this pie a lip smacking tasty one
Dessert what more could I ask for, I love
a Bramley Apple pie cooked with a clove
The flavour is one to die for,
With lovely creamy custard, over it pour
Now it's nearly supper time what pie takes the lead
Nothing more than a Cornish pasty its a nearly pie indeed
Inside some tiny cubes of potatoes and swede mixed with onion and meat
Looks longingly at the clock, is it time yet for this treat
Goes to bed repleted, full of pasty and such
Dreams of pies and pasties, would think i've had enough.
The neighbours went off on their yearly vacation,
Off to visit some foreign nation.
Leaving me keys and a list a mile long,
To watch their pets. What could go wrong?
The rottweiler is a gentle soul
As long as there's always food in her bowl.
The trick is filling it as quick as can be,
So you need to be fast, faster than me.
The birds take pride in emptying their dishes
All over the floor, and then there's the fishes.
So there's food and water and then food again,
Making sure there's enough to last until when
The next day begins and we start it anew.
I'm told there's a cat. Really! Who knew?
If there is , it certainly keeps itself hid.
It's like playing hide and seek with some little kid.
Walking the dog has become quite a chore.
She sees the leash and runs for the door.
After being dragged two miles the walk finally starts.
The dog is immense, she should be pulling carts.
Back to the house and the hide and seek game.
If there is a cat, it doesn't come to it's name.
The birds are now staring at their seeds on the floor.
I refuse to refill the dishes as I head to the door.
So this daily ritual will last another week
And I'll keep trying to win the game of hide and seek.
Thank goodness their vacation only comes once a year.
After watching the pets ....I could sure use a beer.
What is emotional stew, you ask
Describing that is in itself a task
It's a motley mix of chunks and bits
In a pot of feelings where everything fits
Sometimes the batter will taste so sweet
When joy and relief make up the meat
The stew can be peppered with many a spice
Like anger, frustration, and stubborn rice
Or a salty blend with sauce of tears
When sadness combines with multiple fears
The results may yield just one small fault
If you add boredom and apathy without any salt
The coals beneath are stoked to perfection
After dumping in your emotional selection
The stew will boil as the feelings grow
Just mind the mixture, don't let it overflow!
Late last night I had a dream
I'd gone to heaven, or so it seem
I opened a golden door
And walked into a "goodie" store
There was lots of food on every shelf
With a big sign saying, "Help yourself"
So, I ate my fill and put some in a sack
It was a long way home, I might need a snack
I started to leave, but to my dismay
Something at the door blocked my way
It was Satan, with a smile on his face
I wasn't in heaven, it was that other place
"You must step on my scales", he said
I was thinking, "I'd rather be dead"
It was then I woke up screaming
I sure was glad I was only dreaming!!!
TEEN AGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES!!
One day I came home with the flu.
My mother gave me a bowl of stew
All I can say is that the stew was thick like goo.
I still ate it thinking it was chicken stew.
Saturday morning I woke up watching Winnie The Pooh.
Mother made me a sandwich that was hard to chew
In the kitchen I saw 2 strange looking shells
Once I saw them I started getting dizzy spells
Eating turtle soup with out having a clue.
Made my face turn green and blue.
Walked into the living room.
My stomach still felt kind of doom.
My mother was watching the tube and singing along
Singing along to the,"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" song!
NOW THAT WAS WRONG!!!!!!
TWO TURTLE DOVES
During Christmas, I always go hunting in the woods
I set out traps to catch me some goods
I caught two turtle in my first trap
Poor little things where full of crap.
I was singing "On the first day of Christmas" on my way back.
All I could think of was my Two Turtle (Doves), snack!
I took them inside and dipped them in water
They had no idea they where soon to be slaughter
My dad told me that turtle soup hits the right spot.
Silly turtles where already in the boiling pot
Looking at the pot one turtles was swimming around
I can't believe in the hot water he didn't even drown
I had to pull him out, and set him on the rebound.
I'll just cook him on my second round.
I am ready to eat my turtle stew.
Praising this soup with an mm mm thank you!
DARN!! Salt and Pepper was the main thing I forgot
Realizing napkins was the only thing I bought
I put the napkins on my lap.
I was about to have me some turtle snap.
I started singing my favorite Christmas song.
Suddenly the "Two Turtle Dove" part did not belong.
Singing softly to my favorite line
Eating the stew didn't feel fine.
""On The Second day of Christmas
MMMMMMMMMMMy TRUE LOVVVVEE
Gave to me TWO TURTLE DOVVVVEE
With out having the jolly to sing along.
I had to put the stew to a side and be strong.
(now) THAT WAS WRONG!!!!!
((( HAVING FUN WITH MY OWN TURTLE CONTEST )))
There’s taxes on underwear, dresses and ties,
and taxes on ointments your grandmother buys.
There’s taxes on food at your local D.Q.
and taxes on food even good for you too!
You’re taxed on most services; and you are taxed
if you get your most private areas waxed.
You’re taxed every year (it should be a crime)
on the same house and car that you bought just one time!
The plan for which all your work’s taxes went in,
when finally used, you’ll be taxed for again!
You’re taxed more for smoking! You’re taxed if you fly.
Your loved ones get taxed on your stuff when you die!
Rich brats have their loopholes and still get ahead.
But most of us won’t find relief till we’re dead.
Inspired by Carolyn Devonshire's "Taxing Times" Contest
My nightmare is so tangible...so vividly I dream,
The dream, it feels so true to me...reality it seems.
Exhaust and smoke are all I breathe...the air is full of smog...
The job I do is thankless toil, but I work it like a dog.
There's mercury in the fish I eat...there're toxins in my food...
And drugs, they are a constant scourge...myriads for every mood.
Bipolar is my government...a house divided 'tis...
And corporations drive both sides...in the pockets of "Big Biz".
The icecaps, they are melting...the sea is rising, too.
Pandas, condors, polar bears -- empty cages at the zoo.
My money ne'er seems quite enough...I'm always out of cash...
My freedom fled when I wed my bride...(live I under the lash).
"Entertainment"? Reality TV...maybe some vampire shows...
Or idjits becoming household names for being beachfront "ho's".
People clamor "climate change" from the seats of S.U.V.'s,
And bitter news on the honey front...what's killing all the bees?
Politicians spending more...we go deeper in the red.
Opinions dressed as "news" abound...is journalism dead?
Cell phones are ubiquitous...conversation's endangered now...
And "Kardashians" are famous girls..but who knows why or how?
How strange my twisted psyche is t'make real what must be fake...
Now'f only I could find some way to get myself to wake.
Written on November 27th, 2012
By Daniel Beus (Rebel Sun)
I confess I've been known to partake
Straight icing sans chocolate cake
I concede I shall never be lean
Pouring fudge without the ice cream
It's apparent my tool-shed doth grow
Baked cookies? Just gimmie the dough
It is rumored that I often spread
Peanut butter and jam (hold the bread)
From grandma I would often cajole
A sugar rush direct from the bowl
(Rejecting her kit for caboodle
Choosing filling minus the strudel)
I eat healthy! Want some examples?
Pay-Days contain protein that's ample
Orange Slices provide Vitamin C
Milky-Ways furnish Vitamin D
Cavities?...My molars are mature
Cholesterol?...I concur (THAT'S for sure)
Gotta change before damage is nigh
Take a walk? Um, later, Honey-Pie...
The day he took me to Starbucks
I figured I was gaining in luck
Then all he did was complain
How the coffee wasn't humane
It wasn't fit for human comsumption
The tasty treat was dry, their gumption
In serving such unpalatable treat
Oh well, another date now unsweet
Starbucks I still love you even though
Have to get decaffeinated coffee drink slow
Nathan thanks for the challenge
Contest: Coffee House
The taste of homemade Carmel so sweet/ everyone I know desires the treat.
After one night in the kitchen covered/ half the pan gone, next morning discovered.
Is it my beagle Lily whom loves any food? / she seems in a hyper beagle mood.
I know I heard a squeak in the night / a dream ? No, for low was the kitchen light.
T'was my husband, for he can't resist/ soft , buttered brown sugar , a Vanilla twist.
When I think of famous duos, these two come to mind
No, it's not two lovers , nothing of the kind
No famous stars strolling down a red carpet walk
Reporters following them, hoping for tomorrow's gossip talk
But they've been around to feed us a quick meal in a bind
Or to eat just for fun and they come in more than one kind
First those two fresh pieces of white wonder bread
Creamy peanut butter onto each one is carefully spread
Next choose the jelly - grape is usually mine
But there is also strawberry, apple and many others are fine
Put it all together with jelly dripping down your chin
A big glass of cold milk, let the feast begin!
Yes, I think this duo is one worth the mention
Although, it might not get all that very much attention
Oh my great salad come to me,
your tomato juices soon to please.
Look at those beautiful green leaves,
A little spark of yellow with the cheese.
The sweetness of my ranch on top,
I'll eat you all up, I could never stop.
Those little crunchy bits laying just there,
Could be seeds, could be bacon, I don't care.
The nice crispy texture so great when I bite,
A little bit of cucumber makes it just right.
Come to me, my super great lunch,
I'll eat you all up and I like it a bunch.
My lunch adventure is all gone I'd say,
I eat every bit, I like it that way.
My lunch was just really good today - Donald
Born American, sixth generation of great-grands all German,
not much liking sausage or sauerkraut, English speaking all the way,
except the Germany of my ancestry was fought over and broken
so I’m a bit of France, Germany, Poland, Hungary all the Holy
Roman empire, dissolved down, fought over, egotized, horrified
and remade Into some new state where English is as common as German.
We share a love of flowers in the face of cold and rain, I drink less beer
and wine, meet up somewhere, anywhere around the world on a beach.
From my parents and grandparents, I know to serve up too much food
seven sweets, seven sours and drink and whirl the night away to a band.
Hardworking sorts, unafraid of a little dirt, loving dirt, the turnover
and young sprout brought to fruit, wearing overalls and then washing up.
To sit before a pressed linen table cloth, served up on the finest china,
the cha in my father’s name, the uff da, and other exclamations.
The morning rosaries, the blessed churches where we give thanks for all good
and the setting aside of pride while we work together to make our food.
Sure there are aprons for cooking. Shorts for summertime. A dive into any pool.
What do I know of being German, not much, it's just somewhere in my roots.
An appetizer is the first part - of a meal
I love soup
And I like - alphabet soup
Such letters make up her eloquent bouquet
And one can’t go past such a delicious repast
Served daily at word restaurant - Poetry Soup
But this is just starters - the first part of the meal
For what comes afters’
Is no mean feast – it is served up with such verve
Your palate will be satiated- on succulent meat
And for dessert - what an amazing array to choose from
A cuisine of cultural delight-you’ll not have enough-
You will always want-more!
©? Brenda V Northeast 10th January 2012
Feeling kinda cruddy, yup, that's the word
Too many fries, too many burgs
When will I learn I can't handle that stuff
Stomach rebels, starts causing a fuss
Once could eat nails and all kinds of gunk
Now I eat mush and ground up junk
My teeth are all gone, can't chew anymore
Things go down whole, my tummy gets sore
So such is the life of this senior type dude
Head for the washroom, each time I eat food
Food disappears like famous greased lightning
Or I sit there for hours, really quite frightening
Irregularity's my name, I'm Irreg for short
Hope an operation, I don't have to resort
An artificial esophagus transplanted in me
So I can go regular like it once used to be
Oh for the days when I could eat all that junk
Those days are gone, who woulda thunk
That one day I'd be eating my morning cereal
Laced with Metamucil or some such material!
© Jack Ellison 2012