Grey sky confusion -
a bruised brooding December.
Sharp as spruce and myrrh
tears fall, strike bauble light, salve
this cold Christmas contusion.
for 'Not So Happy Holidays' contest
To be in a young America ~
visions of a ship upcoming statue of Liberty
the young lad holding tightly to his Mothers leg
in all excitement of a new Land to call their own
celebrations of apple pie and fireworks on the 4th of July
thoughts of the old Hollywood on screen
films without 3-D costing less then a dollar
Greta , Monroe , Betty Davis eyes tantalizing blue glare
The Wizard of Oz or books written by Steinbach, Capote, Mark Twain
exciting new visions of creating new concepts
before Capitalism bought all little ones to bigger
songs came from the hills of Virginia to the black Mountains
surfacing in Tennessee for all to hear and wish to see
The day when one travelled by car on the road travelled
every town a story told , learning history we once shed blood
American Indian tears to the British man whom choose freedom of taxes
Boston held a tea party , now wishing they threw out marmite instead
The day when we knew our neighbors and bought homes with a paystub
Everyone had a chance to make their own with pride , even through wars
When Martin Luther King stood proudly as did President Lincoln for Freedom
How many streets have been named after the man whom had a dream ?
When milk was delivered on doorsteps in Glass bottles
Babies wanting the very first of the top being cream
leaving doors open , watching news with your family at 6pm
cartoons were shut down and it was now grown up time
Cereal being a cheap snack for after school
school supplies costing twenty dollars
Grandma school clothes shopping for fifty
before the internet , cell phones , and text for hello ~
2 week Vacations not afraid to put up Camp
Christmas sold in December with the sentiment of Love not money
a day when if one were sick , you could actually get penicillin without question
The Doctor treated everything calling it General Practice no fear of Malpractice
Never forgetting our Motor city
Old Ford Trucks Chevrolets and Dodge
The city that brought Ottis Reding and Marvin Gaye
What happened to us ? Where did America Go ?
A little girl lost her home this year, for her, Christmas wouldn't be there.
Her family was angry from all the troubles, they simply couldn't repair.
Don’t bother us about presents her parents said, they were depressed by their fate.
With bitterness they said, you’d be lucky to have dinner tonight, or even a plate.
Life was harsh, nowhere to go, anger and fear had put their souls, in a terrible place.
The little girl had found no hope or joy, lurking near their old car, of late.
The car was their home, gas money was scarce, and with few places they could park.
Yes, their troubles had slowly extinguished, that precious hopeful spark.
Without that spark, they’d never find their way, from this terrible place of cold and dark.
And life’s darkness grew deeper nightly, as hope vanished under a reality so stark.
Even the very fiber of her family, seemed to be shattering slowly, slowly, apart.
The child felt alone here in this dark car, as sadness tried to engulf her little girls heart.
The future seemed filled with hopelessness, as shame and dread, were leaving their mark.
Embarrassment to be seen and turned away, made it hard for them to reach out, to restart.
But life goes on, and we can’t fear to rebuild, or the future will be hard to impart.
The girl suddenly declared there’s more to life, and she wouldn't let it conquer her heart.
She decided triumphs will come, and all will get better, if she held to that hopeful spark.
Seeing the desolation and anger here, she couldn't stay around, she had to get away…
So she climbed out of the car, and she walked into town, not so very far to stray.
She went and looked at the store windows, where Christmas was being displayed.
The music and people filled her heart, lifting her spirits, deep inside, that day.
She noticed a store, way down at the end of the row, on the next block, where it lay.
No one was there, it seemed lonely, and the darkness was again, spreading it’s decay.
She ran there in time to see an old man closing up, with sadness on his face betrayed.
What use were his goods, if no one would shop, or come down along his way?
The super store down the block, was daily making him lose more and more in the fray.
He could no longer afford to hire people, and the season had very little time, to stay.
As they talked the girl saw that she couldn't let the darkness take another, so she prayed.
Then she told the old man, if he’d open the shop, she’d bring customers down his way.
She added, she’d find reasonable workers, if her family could live upstairs, she portrayed.
First bring the customers, he said, and the rest will be yours little friend, he conveyed.
She had him put his best toys, as a contest prize, and to add lots of lights on the display.
He set a contest, “Winners-the best collectors for families in need” on Christmas Eve.
He put out a bright contest sign, but still nobody came to his end of the block, to survey.
So she had him call the Salvation Army, for a kettle, Bell ringer, and Carolers, who came
Lickety split, their way.
Then she had him call a dear old friend, and farmer, to bring a tractor full of bails of hay.
Another volunteered his horse and sleigh, both, to see the city lights thru New Years Day.
This was a great idea, since the older drivers, could use the help, for their bills to pay.
The girl ran all over spreading the excitement, and to come see the prizes, his way.
The families suddenly started heading toward his door, and to those wondrous rides.
At that moment her parents came, and she explained what her hope, had improvised.
Her father talked a contractor into building a disabled family a home, to help advertise.
He could get a tax break; come to this store for supplies, and hire unemployed workers, he devised, so wise.
In the end, each night grew brighter, because of a girls hope, and heart-warming delight.
And the old man began smiling for the first time, in a long, long, time, starting that night.
All was saved, a home was found, and another built, as a sad little girl taught grownups to smile along the way…
You might say, A Spark of Hope lit a candle, then a raging fire, which was burning bright by Christmas day.
The moral to my story is:
Never give up on Hope; it’s your best friend, as life brings its troubles your way…
Know that with time, a good heart, good will, and friendly ways…
You can find God’s gifts again, if you don’t let the dark take you away…
A single leaf,
Falls out of a tree above me,
As it twist and turn,
The wind blows it in my direction,
It symbolizes the ending point of my
struggles and all my pain,
It tells me that they twist and turn,
But never remain,
It takes a sudden fall next to me,
It symbolizes the thought of being
It tells me that someone is always
by my side,
As I write,
The leaf flies away,
As if it had a huge success in
Nature communicates with us in
Not with words,
But with a single leaf out of a tree.
Who am I?
Am I defined by what is near in sight?
Am I defined by what I have done,
Or am I defined by what I could become?
Perhaps I'm of no use.
To him, or her, or I, nor you.
Or perhaps I'm too misunderstood to be defined,
And it is something like understanding that comes in time.
And if to the world I'm never shown,
Yet in my own light I've grown and grown,
And so I can know no happiness but my own--
The reason for my smile, to you, will forever be unknown.
I do not pray for the world to know my name.
For it and verse; the letters are the same.
And if a man should find his sorrow in what he reads,
I pray his pain my words to keep.
Should his eyes rain on my page,
Better tears than storms of rage.
And if a man should find his sorrow in what he reads.
I pray his pain my words to keep.
And if to the world you're never shown,
Yet in your own light you've grown and grown,
And so you know no happiness but your own.
Let the reason for your smile, to you, only be known.
Christmas was never about God for me,
it was memories of warm laughter, rosy cheeked joys
for if God was the point, whose God would it be?
Xmas was about giving to your protégées.
Long, long, lost wishes of long broken boy toys,
Christmas was never about God for me.
Winter’s height held the beauty of childhood set free
of hunting and wrapping and folks overjoyed
for if it was God, we had three, whose God would it be?
This December wonder now past, gone you see,
gone with the cold, I’d not wish despair on July, this killjoy
for Christmas was never about God for me.
Once a year Xmas marks a sad crying spree
with nobody wanting to be home and little joy employed
for if God were the point, my son would be with me?
Perhaps, with grandchildren there be a jubilee
and this hollowed out husk of me will be destroyed
And Christmas will be about God for me
for it could be so, whose god will it be?
-DECEMBER 25,2:37 AM-
SHE WAS THINNING 'WAY-
HER COLOUR GOING GRAY
WHILE SHE DROWNED IN SWEAT:
"GERALD,HAVE YOU SLEPT?"
HER VOICE SO OLD,
AND GAVE ME THE COLD.
BUT HOW COULD I SLEEP
WHILE MUM'S LIFE COULD CREEP...?
I HAD BEEN CRYING
WEEPING AND WEEPING
SILENTLY FOR HER-
MY MOTHER WAS DYING..
I CREPT FROM MY BED:
NO LIGHTS; POOR AND SAID-
I HELD HER WEAK HANDS-
COLD WITHOUT LIFE'S TAN:
I HEARD HER BREATHING-
AND MY HEART CRAVING
FOR MAMA'S GOOD HEALTH.
"BUT," I ASKED MYSELF:
"WHY MUST SHE SUFFER
NEAR A WEEPING SON?"
AND WHERE WAS FATHER?
HE WAS DEAD AND GONE.
I WEPT AS I THOUGHT.
"RETURN TO YOUR COT,
YOU NEED A NIGHT'S SLEEP."
SHE SPOKE, MY HEART LEAPED.
"I SHALL BE HERE UNTIL
DEATH IS NOT FULFILLED-
YOU SHALL NEVER DIE
ELSE I SHALL GHASTLY CRY."
SHE PRESSED ME TO HER HEART
AND GAVE ME A GENT' PAT.
"GERALD,PLEASE LET US SLEEP
AND MY SON DO NOT WEEP.
"IF I DIE, THEN GOD CALLED
CAUSING WEEPS TO COME FORTH-
BUT DO PRAY FOR MY SOUL,
TO REST IN HAVEN'S HOLD."
"BUT MUM," I CRIED."DO STOP."
"SON," SHE CONTINUED."DEATH
IS INHERENT TO LIFE.
DEATH COMES 'ROUND AS WE STRIVE."
I TOOK HER HANDS IN MINE
FEELING THEM FREEZING,KIND:
-THUS ENDED HER EARTHLY STAY,
WHILE I STILL HAD MUCH TO SAY.....
...AND EVERY LAUGHTER EVAPORATED
FROM MY FACE AS EVERY CHRISTMAS
BRINGS SAD MEMORIES
BACK TO MIND......
CONTEST NAME-"Saddest" Christmas Ever
SPONSOR-Constance La France
Recession made Christmas harder than ever before
Family’s splitting – money the core
Dad’s leaving to live on the street
So that young hungry mouths are able to eat
That some extra cash might be in the house
and children might learn what Christmas is about?
But without Dad gone, roof would be lost
for the bills are much higher – we can’t meet the cost
No longer can the average family budget
2009, jobs lost, even working struggle to afford it
Commercialism needs to stop building hopes and dreams
Childern don’t understand you are busting at the seams
Disappointment reigns as kids outside taunt and tease
No longer we fit in we’re all on our knees
Sinking. Even love has fallen apart
We don’t want this Christmas just haven’t the heart!
Expectation lower, depressions set in
Politicians not helping the hole we’re all in
Instead raising taxes they’ll crucify more
and this miserable life could be at your door
Will someone tell them that family should be together
sharing love, life, hopes dreams whatever they weather
'Tis Christmas time once again
And much to my everlasting chagrin
I cannot seem to stop the tears
No matter the passing years.
Christmas used to be such fun
The kids up before the rising sun.
Smiles, giggles, and what not
To see what Santa had brought.
Wrapping paper everywhere
No one had a single care
For it was Christmas Day
Their one day to just play.
I awake now with a groan
As now I feel I am all alone.
No visible happiness to share
Nothing, but this utter despair.
There is no imminent joy
Neither tree nor even a toy
As this day, yet again is here
I clearly have no holiday cheer.
At work I do smile
But nothing worthwhile
As you look into my eyes
The smile is one of many lies.
No one seems to care
About my growing despair
Or have I kept it hid so well
That no one sees my secret hell?
Whatever the case may be
Pain will not let go of me.
There are no happy cheers
For me, there is just these holiday tears.
The little boy sits by the christmas tree
Full of light and color
Trying to figure out what all the colors are
He puts his little hands on the ornaments
Trying to see what they are
He steps back and falls over a present
He feels around the box trying to open it
Only seeing alittle
Mean while on the phone..
his mom is talking to the doctor
"do you think he will be able to see by christmas?" she says
The doctor replies "theres no guarentees, he is 67 % blind, when we did the test with him, he described the color blue as a dark black, and a yellow as a light gray, your son only sees in black and white and im not sure if we can fix that. but we will do our best"
A breathe escapes from her lips as she turns and looks at her son
The doctor explains "his surgery is set for Dec. 7th. be here around 8 am and we will see what we can do, im trully sorry"
He hangs up.
Back in the living room
The boy stands up and walks over to his mom
"mom, have you seen the christmas lights?" he says
She replies "yes sweety i have."
He hugs her leg and says "are they black and white?"
She answers "no sweety" she points to a light bulb on the tree
"this one is blue" she smiles
He grabs the light bulb and repeats "this one is blue" and giggles
She lays him down in his bed as he quickly falls asleep
She sits down on the chair and thinks
"to me. because my son cannot see the beautiful lights and feel the joys of christmas, everything is gray for me. nothing will fill my empty heart"
There are no smiles, when everything is gray, when you cant see the colors of a bright day