As tears flow from my reddened eyes
I can see what I have purely missed
As I look up to the dark grey skies
I will always remember our first fist
I sit here and think of your face
The first time I saw your light fluffy cheeks
I always wanted to lay my head on that place
Even when I was buried in my girlfriend’s twin peaks.
You never knew my love for you
I waited until it was too late
I often yearned for a way through
Both your heart and your front gate.
But now you’ve passed away
Slipped through my limp and lifeless fingers
But I still yearn for that fortuitous day
And the smell of your tobacco colour coat still lingers.
As I stare at my homage dedicated to you
I can feel a heart shaped hole called ‘Noah’
My body is conflicted, I don’t know what to do
It’s such a shame that you were found in pieces underneath a lawnmower.
So many holes, and opportunities now
I feel my body grow harder
For you Noah would only allow
One hole to be ventured in farther
As you led there erotically
on the grass that day
with your legs so lovely
I couldn’t take my eyes away
So I didn’t see
The lawnmower draw near
The blades running free
And beginning to career
Ever closer to your toes
To impoverish your heart
I’m the only one who knows
How a love like this does start
To think I won’t see you again
Striding majestically down the Bath Road
And, protecting your shoulders from the rain
Your little tobacco coloured coat
I wish I had been able to say
All this to you when you were alive
I came so close once, that fateful day
When we were standing outside the Beehive
Your hair was golden in the glow
Of the solitary standing streetlamp
Yet still, you couldn’t ever know
My feeling for you or my heart would cramp
And now you’re dead you selfish thing
You’ll never hear me speak these thoughts
You’ll never feel me ‘flap my wings’
Or ogle me as I cavort
But now you’re in the ground
In the darkness and despair
But I have now created a mound
Where I can collect your hair
My heart is soaked in liquid salt
My clothes cling to my body
Although I know that it’s no-one fault
Staring at you was my favourite hobby
Now it’s time to say goodbye
My lovely little pet
My heart still yearns, my eyes still cry
Although we never met
The Apple PASTURE
Oh how I long
To drift into the apple pasture.
Were once was and all well meet.
A pure and dear site.
Where silver reflection cover the still waters that holds the golden
grains of morality and the grazing souls lie young amounce no stars.
Oh how I long
To drift into the apple pasture
Were winds smell of melon and the trees whisper spring corals in the mellow dark and best of light and time creeps into no tomorrow.
In his damp, snail smelly, back yard, water boiled in a vat.
"Hurry honey", said Grandpa, "the tide has just gone out".
In my six year old mind, we were in for a "great big treat".
Willingly, I'd fill my bucket full with sand crabs we'd all eat.
Overcast dark sky and dank fishy cold wind didn't dampen
spirits while scanning wet sand for holes that were sunken.
Intently digging, then oh so thrilled, I yelled,"I found one!"
Clunk! Into my little tin sand bucket it fell; one prize won.
Sadly looking, seagulls mocking, I'd managed only eight.
Grandpa smiled, dumped them in the vat with, "GREAT"!
The summer sun shined in the sky like a jewel.
Dad and daughter happily played in the waves.
Beach sand was hot but the saltwater felt cool.
This day in my memory, I'll always save.
A ride on Dad's shoulders always made me smile.
Holding my hand, we walked the beach for a mile.
My dad wearing flip flops and his cut off jeans,
searching for shells, my mind's eye relives the scene.
Hot dogs in hand as sea gulls swooped down to spy,
hoping to steal a bite of our beach cuisine.
Sodas in cans, rock and roll played in hifi,
bare feet in the sand, body doused in sunscreen.
Details have faded over the many years,
but this day's imprinted behind salted tears.
A vision of ocean sparkling in the sun,
hearing Dad's laugh on the shore, our summer fun
By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, April 14, 2012
for A Summer Memory contest (Frank Herrera)
I do not know?
hello! hey! boungiorno! what is the date?/
this world of dimensions created duality/
no letters/ no words/ are enough to express/
someone like you/ in reality/
i filled all your emptines/ MY still quiet bay/
as Jhon opened world in his Yoko/
you searched perfect princes/ looked for "right him"/
now at only one overman looking/
i swear/ i will hold you/ as much as i can/
would become all the axes/ and outer space/
voice is speared by the screaming wind/
falling down/ flakes to your place/
going crazy just seeing your knees/
don't regret anything/ my Benito/
unbelievable/ perfect/ unbearable/
you whisper/ "la comedia e finita"//
Hearts torn & twisted --- All left to rot
The hate swarming & flooding rapes me inside
I wish to wake up in a hospital sometimes on a sexy nurse's cot
Burns & swells with adultery he committed that sinful night --- absolutely bled my pride!
Like splitting a pole, or demolishing a tree, inside reciting over & over in me
Our baby not even a year old yet --- he left us for no reason at all
Finally as far as I could see --- was nothing but hatred & water surrounding in this sea
Forgiving & Forgetting is what he expects me to do --- but how can I fix us from this fall?
Everything he's given to me at that point in my life was a lie
I noticed after a while he lost the ambition to move forward with us
But why wouldn't he explain to me where he thought it was I wouldn't try?
After 3 weeks of separation (that almost turned legal) he finally realized who to trust
He came home one night & tried to reclaim his family again
I told him I wasn't interested that if he left once, he'd definitely leave twice
He cried for 3 days (estimating at best) until he determined a way for all 3 of us to win
Our tax refund for 2011 (as we filed married together) was way more suitable than 'nice'
He came up with this wacky plan where we'd take all the money, our family, and run
Somewhere to the beach (East Coast) we both agreed could possibly be the spot
So, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina is where we both agreed we could be with our sun
& still when I look back a few months I saw where we were then --- & it's changed a lot
Deciding to mend our marriage was a difficult and hard decision to make with a baby
But stepping aside from the anger, hurt, & rage, we knew we could possibly get thru it
So we stayed together for our family, ourselves, our love & thought, "..well maybe.."
Bright Myrtle Beach where neither of us know anyone, is where our 1st candle will be lit
Walks on the beaches, bright sunsets over the ocean, & raising our son together
Finding new & interesting jobs, meeting people, even when happiness is about
Tinkered with love and sparkled with ups and downs, our love forever endeavors
For now this we've decided is, as of now, our one & only best route
Out on the beach with an amazing guy. The sun's so pretty, the sun's so bright. We're walking and talking about all our good times, against the world, hand in hand. Smiling and walking on the beautiful LA sand. We sit on a bolder and watch the sun set. It's an amazing day, one I will never forget. You slip your arm around me as we as we look at the beautiful sea. "I love you," I say as we feel the cool evening breeze. "I love you too," you say and pull out a small black box. I look at you, smile, and my heart stops. You open the box to reveal a beautiful ring. "Will you marry me?" you ask as my eyes fill with tears and my heart starts to sing. My smile gets wider as I say "yes". You pull me close to your chest. I gently kiss you as a tear rolls down my cheek. You brush it away and smile at me. "I love you," I say one more time. "I love you to baby," you say as you smile, "now your deffinitly all mine."
Today's the day, the day that starts the rest of our life. The day you become my husband, the day I become your wife. The last time I saw you was last night. But I woke up to a beautiful sight. A bouque of beautiful red roses lie on your pillow with a note on top. "I love you," it says, "and I can't wait to see you." I smile and whisper "I love you too." I take a shower and walk down to the beach to see how much is done. I step onto the hot sand and I feel the hot sun. It's almost done so I start to head home. I need to here your voice so I call your phone. "Hey babe," you say, "is everything okay?" I tell you everythings fine, I just need to hear you. I tell you I love you. You tell me you love me too. You say you have to go but you'll see me soon. "Okay, I love you," I say and look at the clock, it's almost noon. "I love you too," you say and the line goes dead. I look in the mirror and put my hands on my head. I smile and start to get ready for tonight. The first night of m new life.
I take a look in the mirror one last time. Just to make sure my beautiful dress is fine. I walk down to the beach and wait by the gate. I fix my veil and look at my friend. "You look amazing," she says and puts some flowers in my hand. "Thanks," I say and smile. I can't wait to walk down the aisle.
I opened the door to the room my daughter was in.
It was the day I gave her away.
She looked so beautiful.
All I could think was where did my little girl go with pig tails and braces?
Boo-boos and being afraid.
As the music started, I placed her hand in mind and down the alley we went.
Everyone was standing and looking at us
and saying how beautiful she was and how proud I must be.
As we came to the altar, I laid her hand into his.
I looked into his eyes. This is my little girl.
I love her. I have been with her in the good and bad.
You may be the new man in her life
But I will be in her life forever.