Her paintbrush is a razor,
Her canvas, her wrists,
"I deserve the pain."
She shrugs and insists.
One day the brush will push down,
And it will cut so deep,
That this girl will fall
into an eternal sleep.
She doesn't remember how she started
What brought her interest to this,
How do you discover,
that cutting is your form of bliss?
No one would have guessed that she does it.
No one would have considered this one.
This girl is forever fighting a battle,
that she thinks the demons have won.
Her artwork is all over her,
Her beauty is on her thighs,
and if you look in her old trash,
you'll find her letters of goodbye.
Her masterpiece is quite disturbing,
Her masterpiece is a little gory,
Her artwork is her escape.
Let me tell you her story.
She compares herself to every person,
She is compared to each girl.
She thinks she's hideous,
And there's this boy that is her world.
She was bullied and picked on,
She was teased from head to toe,
Hard to believe that her best friend,
was her one and only foe.
Then later she disliked every little thing,
Her body, face and even her mind,
Soon she saw she was a failure,
and it was just in due time...
That this girl couldn't take it anymore
She'd decided she was done living this,
So one day she went home
and decided to end it.
Everyday for multiple days,
This girl would try to drown,
Hard to believe this girl at school,
never ever wore a frown.
Sometimes she'd just fall asleep crying,
Praying that she'd be enough,
Because she didn't want to leave her family.
She knew about their sweet love.
This girl found hope in small things eventually,
She soon would see this beautiful light,
and find a REAL best friend,
that helped her put up a fight.
Her masterpiece soon was leaving,
Her artwork was almost faded,
and it gave her a sick feeling,
the feeling of being jaded.
She found a boy that actually loved her,
And showed her love exists,
And this boy too had a masterpiece,
placed close to his wrists.
He related to her and she related to him.
She kissed his artwork and said he's not alone,
When she cut herself it hurt him,
Her masterpiece now wasn't just her own.
Her masterpiece effected others,
Her artwork wasn't just for herself,
She now had people,
who saw her cries for help.
And then her family found out,
So then they saw the art too,
to them they were just scars,
To her they were the truth.
She's trying to be okay now,
She thinks she might survive,
Even though they didn't think
to take away the knives.
They hate you because your you
They make up lies and call it true
They're fake behind your back
Hoping someday that you'll crack.
They hate you because your real.
no matter what they say you always heal
They're surprised to see you rise,
That you're not affected by all these lies
They hate you because you smile at them
It shows them that your a real gem
You are always true and do your best :)
Sometimes these haters just cant test
They hate you for no reason
Despite it all, you smile
whatever the reason
At the end of the day
All i'm gonna say
All i plan to be
-Sanderline Fleury :)
Jab Meri Bechaini Mit Jayegi
Jab Mere Dilko Sukoon Mil Jayega
Yeh Khaalipan Mit Jayega
Do Pal Ki Chandni Ke Liye
Aj Bhi Zinda Hoon Main
Meri Khaamoshi Ke Ageh Aasmaan Bhi Khatam Ho Jayega
Kehne Ke Liye Toh Roz Marta Hoon Main
Thoda Aur Marne Ke Liye
Yeh Deewana Kal Phir Ayega
You have my soul, but you have your fate
Whatever your words, I’m willing to take
You have my word; I’ll give you my breath
It’s like a chain that would never be break
You are my love with all my heart,
I’ll fight for you with all my might.
And in the way, you admire your goals,
You hold my hands, but not so close.
As you go to your chosen path,
I’ll accept the fact that we will be apart.
In the dark side, I leave behind
Within my faith, that you’ll arise
Please don’t look back, coz I’m fighting still
I’m hurting so much! Don’t want to have you near
I accept my fate for what it does,
I’m bleeding so much, do you know for whom it was?
You reach your goals, as you want to have,
Would you remind the man that gave what he had?
As you reach the stars, and be the one
Be a sun that shines its own.
After the rain, the rainbow comes,
Like dark in the moon, when the light flash
A glimpse from you at least a short
For then I knew my pain is worth.
You almost had me,
I wanted you,
The way you stuck to me like super glue,
I was feeling you,
But I knew,
I could never have you,
But, the way you looked at me,
The way my body pleads,
We can never be,
Because I’m too old,
And your only thirteen.
My thoughts, they fade just like the words I try to speak.
They both have something in common,
they both want to seek.
Is there a solution?
Or any doubt that I hold?
My minds full of distractions that fail to die old.
You don't always express the way you strive to act, but the stares from others around you give a tremendous impact.
The words and the marks they mean something deep, no one will know. They're mine to look at forever to keep.
You know what they say?
They say, live to be free.
You're on your own in this world. Make something be.
With my stupid mistake, I have nothing to hold.
I could have put it down, but I was strangled, and they stabbed me with scold.
That one little trigger and my feelings were here.
That one little motion and it could all disappear .
I finally decided that I've been patient, in agony for quite some time and Its time to fix it all, think still and unwind.
Right now is the chance..to finally feel free..what will the aftermath consist of?
Who knows, not me.
I think of my past and what my future could have been like,
but the crazed images flash back, the feelings crept up..stop it now! it’s a trap!
So I decide now is the time,
theirs no switching laps, and with one quick press of the trigger i'm gone in a flash.
As an object is inanimate my body was now too.
My time had been given and my end was forced way too soon.
Could it have been changed?
Maybe if there was help.
Not many people understand the secrets that were dealt, the pain and the tears that were constantly felt, but now I've expressed the way I've been living with hell and with the thought of my withdraw has drug me down in the shadows beneath the stair well.
Time has passed you walk in and you see what I've done,
No longer a beat,
I've been lifted.
My mind, it was finally at ease.
My spirit sits there next to you while I watch you as you weep.
I bless you with a touch and comfort spreads through your veins, you then stand up walk out and go on with your ways.
Back to reality with the slightest bit of ease
We all have our secrets that we never can please.
h when i was truth i fell
drew boy i grew up
still def still be a cre4ators tool
wipers for the pain tears drop
fear not, fret no baby worrys from the devil. whispers on my ear xrtays , be very afraid, cantrall camaflauge like a sand dollar, honor boy we descretion , a virtue is all im left now, we the still launching balls in the park, remarks, its remarkableaint it?deep all dark as the cell lights from weldsgenuine from the top to the bottom, weathered by the struggle tried and true i confess tyhe devil still got a bounty on my head here, Weapons come bring all even that
determination reaffirmed confirmation
dragged across the face of
the devil, and i will face him,
killer on a cutthroat, lost my chrome and prorellis,
tomahawk mechetes,common cause i blare on, bread and butter, married to love of, giving mary credit, everytime i ever said it, deeper than the message, freedom never said more, boy act like he badder, go for me now im bipolar facing all weapons like its the deepest ****ing episode, connection in the west, no nothing coming easy, friends spell finders,wilder than saying it aint over, i aint acting like im clean, babys body beating on my head whelps and melodies, def to a felony, boy consider carefully im more than just distant memories, more than u still feell, the crown on your head of a king i slam down, been down in this sound like seashells has been around, like it hurts well pain is my profession, still trying trying to perfect it, pros dont know whats pros and cons know, among those pics as fast a lens close, so i been known tell u motha****as i been known, still feeling likke i got a price on me, yea devils got a bounty on my head, ask my nephew, ask me and stars shine like scars be me traveling far to minds, reaching for more life treating this like im beast tearing out this town by its eyeballs, white squalls black powder , blast that ass like Im massive passions in acid baths,listen strictly speaking to the Masters, G-force and white noise creator of the devil salngs pain choice words Streets still speak ina deep voice, do u feel remorse, hear the men i lead hear me boy slient in a count down anticipation anger too got u making mistakes now, now now no i aint even dressed in your wardrobe, take the tie off, nical all nighters, alcohol graig them twist their ****ing minds up, listen if u got better hand, well stealth meet finesse's nails, i said i will, sett a trap and the net never catches me it never will, dealing with a hardhead, as i rain hell down soft my middle finger the taste of victory , that u still long for, flash that mercy and emergencys well dont freak out, i speak out
and put a X on a narc's head, boy im part metal, its what i teethed on, Like Im thuggish for accidents that the dicate the laws broken by a skunk, feel my blanco vendetta,as it shrinks your stature, just suppose I stole your power, well ***** u can have it back,
My love I can not find you anywhere,
I feel like I lost my soul somewhere,
because you are my soulmate,
and us being apart can not be fate.
You did not leave because you wanted to,
It just was just something you had to do.
I was not right, All I wanted to do was fight,
and knowing you was the love of my life,
yet I would not make you my wife.
I know that's what you really wanted
and now I am feeling haunted,
by the things I should have done,
and you being the only one
I ever loved and will love forever, if it was'nt for me we will still be together.
But you are gone
and I can not go on,
so I must say good-bye, I'm leaving myself to die.
They are bound to the Earth like trees
Suffocating under the weight of an icy grave
Reaching to be free, but only their limbs are seen
Hoping that one day someone will see:
They can't escape with lacerated wings
The ocean surrounds me, covering everything
Nothing will be clearly seen; confusion overwhelming
No-one can save you, you're on your own, left to die
Manipulating every bleeding heart you can find
I can't escape with lacerated wings.
Swarms of nets, waves of screams
Entangle: your captive illusions and dreams
The mask has be seared - The truth now they see
The Liar - Vampiric Fiend; lowly thief
And now they know you can't escape with Lacerated Wings
There's reasons for your rejections:
Your Heavy heart's transferred oppression
The scars are too deep to pass the trials
But you can find peace in your cage of empty spirals
You Cannot Escape With Lacerated Wings
The Rose innocent white, soft pink, yellows
colors touch your soul vibrant red to amethyst
enhances beauty yet a thorn awaits to break skin
as life does piercing your heart with a thin pin.
My life has shed drops of blood through each petal
as if in return for the love and beauty you feel
hence pain underneath patiently waits the bloodletting ~
The rose symbolizes love yet vulnerable to hold
for when you open your heart it can be left bleeding
The best of surgeons can not beat your heart
It is the inner faith and God himself whom gives strength
whispers in your ear you shall live you will exist
your life meaningful as the water and sun to the rose
For I am your God your existence is not over yet .
You must Live ~You must Bloom
She writes her songs and her poems,
not one person know 'em.
She listens to the sound of her music,
she's stuck to it like a tick.
If someone took the time to listen,
her true colors would glisten.
She's put on a mask,
and hid everything when someone asked.
She was the type of girl who would always laugh,
making you wish it would last.
She was the type of girl who would smile the day away,
too bad it is no longer that way.
She is now the girl who is depressed,
I bet you're impressed.
Since no one could tell
that she was going through hell.
Everyone thought she was happy,
when really, she felt crappy.
Everyone thought she was having the time of her life,
who would have guess her best friend was a knife?
She spent her days alone,
she seemed to do everything on her own.
Never once wanted help.
Thought she could do everything herself.
Then the day came,
when she lost the game.
She fell apart,
and everyone saw her broken heart.
They saw the way she overreacted.
Oh, if only you saw the way she acted.
She bruised herself, scratched herself, and made herself bleed,
no one knew what it was that she needed.
They saw her tears,
and that was what she feared.
They found out she wasn't okay,
oh, she hated that day.
Everyone found out about her secret,
and she wish they'd just forget,
but she knew they couldn't,
and that they wouldn't.
She left that town and started over,
no one knew she went undercover.
She said she got better,
when really... something else occurred.
She secretly hurt herself,
and walked away from help.
Everyone thought she recovered,
when really, she was undercover.
She secretly wanted to get worse,
no one knew of course.
No one cared to ask,
if she was wearing her mask.
Now it's too late,
she locked the gate.
everyone had forgotten she needed help.
Goodbye cold world,
this was a story of a girl
who once loved everyone
then feared who it was who won.
Trees swaying to that melody
Sun shines down her body
On the news, about that tragedy
Laying there my dolly
Here here bully, are you happy
Your words tore her apart
Here here bully, she was lovely
Her wrists so full of art
She was very insecure
Rebecca was her name
But you were so immature
She was no longer the same
How to take blades out of razors
Was her daily question
Missed out on so many fundraisers
She never made that confession
Here here bully, are you happy
You caused all these things
You were why she felt so scrappy
She jumped, hoping for wings
The very last words to her mom were
'Good night mom, I love you'
Now tell me, what do you conclur
Do you finally have a clue
Started because of a boyfriend
Were her friends, not her foe
Wasn't it stupid to join that trend
She went up, looking down below
While she went up the stairs, she cried
Because of you she jumped
She just jumped, with her arms out wide
At her throat was a lump
Here here bully, can't you just see
Your words have an impact
She thought that jump would set her free
Wasn't long until she cracked
Body on the ground, what a sight
But now that it is done
It is definitely not alright
So you might just want to run
Feel me standing there
on the draw bridge
that stands stubburn and erect
over the rushing waters blown by the wind
back and forth.
I listened to the crows
posted on gargoils designed
of eightenth century Gothic architecture
singing their death songs,
when the sun is setting in the far.
The voices of women passing
startle me with a feeling of sorrow
I can't breathe, I am dying.
Feel me, can you feel me rot away?
Slowly but surely rot away
as time passes with ease,
and taxi cabs take smiling, intoxicated faces
to wayward cafes, oh how they screech to a halting stop
and wave to me to get in.
"No thank you, I'd rather walk." I say to the smiling faces
highly intoxicated with the thought of the birds and the bees
rattling around in their empty minds.
Then they drive off, into the city lights and turn a darkened corner.
I look at the rushing water
and feel myself rot away
slowly but surely rot away.
Can you feel me?
Can you hear me?
Can you see me?
Feel my heart thump with slow paces
that manage to keep up with fast melodies.
Of songs that play in your mind
only the ones that make you sigh
and think those one days in Spring time
as you walked over the draw bridge
and paid no mind to the water underneth.
I hear no more talk of you and me, I hear no more talk
of the good old times we all shared.
Time has passed, as I take my last breathe
and hold my chest and shead a tear.
Feel me, can you?
If you can, put your hand to my weak heart
and feel it thump away with every second wasted
on useless items.
Now, see me a man of one time greatness
reflect his life with a reflection in the water below.
How I sigh and cry and breath heavely,
as I feel myself rot away.
The voices of woman pass me by.
Tomorrow is a new day,
for the smiling faces in taxi cabs will go home
and soak their raging hangovers with cool, wet rags.
As I still stand on the draw bridge singing with the crows,
feeling myself rot away.
Can you feel me without you, rotting away?
I surely can feel myself rot.
Such a heavy word, "rot"
So vulgare, yet a great description of me,
I pull out a shawl you once wore and I kiss it.
As the wind gusts and the sun rises and my shadow
comes to meet me, the wind shall take my last memory
of you away.
And I shall weep no more.
Then what will I do? Shall I walk the streets
and think of you.
Yes you, still rambling all throughout my head
like a lose screw.
Can you feel me? Feel me rot away
feel me think about you, and all your works.
Can you feel me?
Scars on her wrists
They never to seem to fade
This will be how it is the rest of her days
A broken record,
Still trying to force its self to play
What kind of life is this
A smile on her face
But secrets hidden deep
If they knew their opinions would change
"She's a freak"
All of those things they'd say
They'd wrap around her throat like a rope
Tugging and choking her life away
She stays hidden.
A record, broken but silent
Still trying to force its self to play
This will be how it is the rest of her days.
Unless she speaks.
How dare she speak?
Uttering those words.
To whom she speak?
To the people?
To the walls which upon she stares?
No one. No one is there to listen.
No one. No one is there to care.
Let it trickle
Dribble a drop
From the Tip
Of the Top
Till it sits
on the rocks
a little sip
then it flops
another is sick
Hit up Doc
here's another hit
Hear it pop
Pills will slit
Big willed thoughts
Like a wrist
Do not watch
the skin split
Like gymnasts' crotch
Sorry a bit
Going for shock
Not even wit
Just mental block
You say you're ugly,
You say you're fat,
You say you hate reality,
but it's not just that.
You say there's nothing good,
you say everyone hates you
you say you can't eat food,
I wish I could help you.
Because in my eyes, you're beautiful.
In my eyes, you are perfect.
In my eyes, you are wonderful.
Please take the time to reflect.
You want to die,
I want you to survive.
You're trying to say goodbye,
but I'm holding onto the knives.
It was a home on the river we lived .
It was the ghost of a young man whom had taken his own life.
I still remember the vision of him walking by me with a blank stare
We, as a Family of seven , moved into this river house
Panoramic views right out to the river , I should mention
I was home alone as a child , looking out at "The Julia Belle Swan " as she went by .
Upstairs in that room as I saw a figure walking by , with very nice features , auburn hair
I thought he was my older brother , a handsome young guy
Then I realized the young man was not my brother , a apparition he appeared .
He was not there to scare or frighten ,
the message I believe he wanted to shed light on, so clear.
He walked right by ,then disappeared through the window, out to the River .
The Ghost knew I could see him , a gift I have been given
when I was a younger child of five , I had once died for a short time. I was lifted by Jesus in Heaven . Death is not for us to decide .
Later in the years we moved from that home , every home we lived in had a story
or a presence of its own . My Mother had told me later , a young man took his life there .
Keep fighting your way through life and its despair ,
you are important to someone whom cares . If you feel alone and want life to end , Please pick up the phone , call anyone , call for help , call a Friend .
"This is not fiction , it truly is a gift I have been given "
I do not know?
Hand in hand we walked
together into Reception
Nothing could stop us and
together we were three
James and I LARP-ed Doctor
Who for fun
We talked and laughed for
Because no stress was in our
Anna and I smiled and laughed
And jumped on our bouncy
With nothing dividing us.
Side by side we walked
together into Year 6
Some stranger stopped them to
talk and broken we were alone
James and I talked about
Doctor Who for fun
And we talked and kissed for
But misunderstanding broke us
Anna and I still smiled and
And joked about our bouncy
But secondary school was going
to divide us.
With no one there I walked
alone into Year 7
And a stranger became my
friend and together we were
Violet and I both loved Doctor
And James found Dominic
So James and I talked for mere
And school started pulling us
Anna and I still laughed and
Still promising to be friends
Never letting it divide us
Suffocating and drowning I
walked into Year 9
Hating how I was and feeling
Katie and Chloe were so pretty
And Violet so funny and all
were better than me
James and I hardly talked or
saw each other
But we still made the most of
As we were like family, stress
couldn’t break us apart
Anna and I laughed but I did
not smile genuinely
Because the bouncy castle was
And our schools were beginning
to divide us
Dead yet breathing I stand
And I hate who am I and every
Fights broke us up and pulled
So I can feel Katie, Violet and
Falling further out my reach
James moved house to a place
And blamed me for never
talking to him
But really it was because of my
ex who was a girl
It was for something beyond
Anna and I were still friends;
only by a thread
As she did not know about me
And how school broke me apart
So this is me now; I’m all alone
No longer the smiling young girl
The only person talking to me
And the voice in side my head
You see; they all left me and
So now the only call I answer
Is that of my blades
And the darkness
That is constantly
How can I tell you?
I can't stay with you.
Neither I can give up on you.
Fear of losing you is losing me.
It feels like slow death every night.
But we are just stuck in our spaces!
Unable to connect from two feet distance.
Is life worth a try?
Would I be living a lie?
If I smile, would it break?
If I laugh, would it be fake?
I see the tears from the sky and me
See how self doubting I can be
The feeling of damp grass
The moment that's bound to last
The ways I could wash away
All the people who have gone astray
Is it me to blame?
When can my feelings be tame?
Why is this world so dark?
When can I actually make a mark?
The tears all fall down
Ive been given a permanent frown
Standing out is not a choice
Cant risk screaming with my voice
The sky is now dark blue
How many insults were true?
I wish I could be pure
They all hate me, I'm sure
All eyes watch me every move
So much that i want to prove
why do i still put up a fight?
Why shouldn't i just say goodnight?
i don't have anyone to miss
could death give me a dark ending kiss?
Is there a reason for me to be here?
I all i can feel is numbing fear
I just want to feel the sun shine
To feel happiness throughout my spine
But that is just a dream
That will float away with my desperate scream
Help is the word i always say
I ask for it everyday
And what do i get?
I pile full of regret
I think it's time
To end my faith, my suffering, my rhyme
Pain became my friend today
She showed me how to hide
She’d been watching from a distance
Every tear I cried
Pain became my friend today
Reached out her hand to me
Then pulled me into darkness
Pain became my friend today
Emptying my heart
She’s now my constant companion
Tearing me apart
Pain became my friend today
She isolates my soul
Now without her I am nothing
In her I’m consoled
Pain became my friend today
When she saw me kneel down and cry
Then she lay down right next to me
To kiss my joy good-bye
Pain became my friend today
She introduced me to the sorrow
Who showed me how to dwell in agony
And fear the break of tomorrow
Pain became my friend today
Making my heart cold
Pain became my friend today
The only hand I hold
Written by Shannen Wrass
Copyright © 1995 Shannen Wrass. All Rights Reserved
Time moves on,
and soon will tell,
when asked for whom
they ring the bell…
…and forty lost,
you left before twilight.
When it’s half as much,
at twice the cost,
in perfect light…
We live in castles
…made of sand,
we come as a stranger,
but leave as a friend…
your last first kiss,
those times will be
Your smile indeed
could cast a spell.
You learned to
play a bad hand well…
With all our hopes
and dreams in tow,
we are old too quick,
and wise too slow.
Life’s an elaborate
Would you live again,
if you had the chance?
Copyright © 2013
Oh, tragic feather what is thy tragedy
No longer freedom gay or certian loft
How is this thy new translation
From a majesty, unto a wing thou hath mighty dropped
Were thou thus, shunned, cast away
Or merely, cut out or off
As limb from downward spiral angel
Perhaps, a troubled finch or insanity in wayward hawk
Lie, if thou must, be it amidst a deafening silence, lonesome soft
But, I plead, please tell me fallen feather, what hath befallen thee
Thy tuft to ne’er evermore touch again
What life should be, warmth of the summer's breeze
Sleep, sleep now 'neath the alley's gutter greys
Catching Weeping Willows damning drops
Adrift as the drowning lily dying
In seas of the myriad scattered rots
An accomplice I shall say, within a winter's willing white
And alas, buried ordinary in this doth the corpse delight
Far beneath the crowds held at bay and forever lost
Now thou hath become the naked grove of wicker and then...
the more of naked souless crops
We don’t know what tomorrow brings
So we just can’t speculate
And it will make no sense
For us to just sit down and wait
The love we found today
We both know it’s real and true
All love with face some obstacles’
But love will always make it through
Some people will try to hold back
What they are feeling in their heart
When they know this love is a fairy tale
Romance Right from the very start
We are worrying about the future
Bout the unknown is like a blank page
But god can close the curtains anytime
Down on any one’s stage
I know a man who loves woman
He falls for her heart and soul
And his parents says it’s crazy
He’s too young and she’s too old
So they stop them from getting marry
Causing years of pain and sorrow
While driving he got in accident today
And they will bury him tomorrow
And the wound in her heart won’t stop bleeding
And every breathe she wish was the last she take
A little boy calls his dad, saying look, look ,dad
And they found her body floating in the lake
His parents was worried bout the future
Although they know it was unknown
But still they plant the seeds of pain
Now look what it has grown
Why didn’t they let them be together?
For today all that remains is sorrow
For trying to change the course of true love
They have taken away their tomorrow
For today they would have been married
And build a happy home of love
But now they are two lost souls
Forever roaming the world above
Some times one year of happiness
Is worth 100 years of being alone
For as long as two hearts are true
Forever the flowers of love will bloom
And as long as there are stars in the sky
And the waves must come to the shore
People of all different ages
Will be falling in love forever more
But what if tomorrow never comes
And you let today go
Then the real magic of true love
You will never get to know
How queer the color of viscera
squarely foreign in my breast
To be the butcher and grim and goddess
All in one
Leaves identity succinct
Or identifies succinctness
If it has been
Then so it was always before
Therein is 'Peace'
Reposed and eyes rolling
Great, vacant saucers on vertiginous axis
She is quite the swollen beast
And on all fronts, she is terrible
If only you'll watch you may notice her growth
A malignant sort
An unwelcome appendage
I'd dash it out but I've already gone
Too pale and dogged in life to succumb
I curse her tenacity
She has a sister, I think
Or maybe a child
A child who lives down deep in my chest
A child who shrieks and tears down the walls
Perhaps she dislikes their pattern
I blame me for all my mistakes
I blame me for all the rejection and heartache
I blame me for all the times I stayed silent
and should have started and earthquake
with my words
I should have spoken up when I had the chance
now all those thoughts are wasted
I blame me when my husband touches me
and I feel the hands of a predators pounce
And I blame me when the pressure it on
because all I had to do was shout out and renounce His name
Lord, help me to get rid of the shame
I blame me for my loneliness
I blame me for my feelings of lust
I blame me when I look at myself and see absolute disgust
I blame me when I shut down - unsure of who to trust
At times not even sure if I really know how to love
I blame me when my kids are crying out sick
because when I brought them here
I knew that this world was unfit
Yet overpowered by my love for them
I became more and more protective
So I blame myself in advance for their sadness
when they finally see that the world is not objective
I blame me for those nights I can't rest
Wondering if my consciousness has finally realized
that I have done my best
to stay positive and have good intentions
So I blame myself when I give in to temptations and my human inhibitions
and begin to feel ashamed of myself
I begin to feel like I don't have enough strength to love myself
good things don't happen for me
So I blame me for my thinking and feelings of worthlessness
It's a big world and my lonely soul has no more confidence
I have nothing
I have given up
and so I blame me for my incompetence and my soul's rut
I do not know?
How do you expect me to be less of a pessimist and more of an optimist. When you’re pessimistic about my optimism.
I felt worn out... discouraged and defeated.
Nothing in my life right
seemed to be completed.
I felt alone, knocked down and betrayed!
I never thought I'd feel this scared and afraid.
In this very dark time, where would I run?
Where would any help actually come from?
I felt utterly worthless and quite alone...
With each passing day, in this place I called "home."
As I got up, each morning and opened the bedroom door.
And wondered if anyone cared about me anymore?
I felt a "tug" on my shoulder and looked around.
And noticed a bright light, shining toward the ground.
"I love you my son." Where the words I heard.
Excitement and hope within my heart was stirred.
I looked up and couldn't began to explain.
The love I felt when I called on Jesus' name!
From my ceiling, I saw what looked like an angelic being.
He said, "I am God! “ I can do anything!"
He reached down and gently picked me up out of bed.
Words of mercy and hope where what he had said.
"I am here so that you may rise up and live."
"All of your failures and sins I will forgive."
Everything inside of me... God did understand!
With him here... I knew victory was at hand!
This particular day, this was certain.
He took away my sins and heavy burdens!
Look at me now and it's so plain to see!
He can do for YOU, what he's done for ME!
By Jim Pemberton
Looking in the mirror she sees her fate,
as her heart pounds could it be to late.
Distorted images of her secreative past,
thrusting madness of her future she cast.
Ongoing pressure of voices in her head,
the agony in crying of all the tears that she shed.
Someone help me she screams into the night,
as the look of horror on her face fills with fright.
Decisions of what to do here and now,
she can only do what her mind will allow.
The taste of innocence biting at her tongue,
energy expanding from her aura she is so rapidly strung.
Sparks fly with electrifying heat,
as she stands in her place bolted is her feet.
Laughter of insanity is seeping through her veins,
as her charged twisted body is all that remains.
These distorted images have a story to tell,
as she is forever locked in her cold binded cell.
I Knew Someone Who Was Ready to “End It All!”
I knew of someone who just wanted “to end it.”
Giving up on life, and did not want to “defend it.”
It was a heart wrenching and difficult situation.
He said what he wanted to, with no explanation!
I could see his face and the sad look in his eyes!
What he was going to do next, was anyone’s surprise.
He turned to drugs and encountered addictions.
With this brought much disease and afflictions!
He gave up on the wonderful family that was given.
And turned to a pretty wild and crazy way of livin’!
I told him about a God who loves him very deeply.
As he listened, he began to grow restless and weary.
I reached for his hand and began to pray for God’s power!
It was a miracle! The blood of Jesus changed him that hour!
The spirit of God brought healing and hope to his body!
He was so excited! He rushed out to tell everybody!
The “end” that he wanted, seemed to just fade away!
For the son of the living God, changed him this day!
The glory of God, and the power of Jesus’ resurrection…
Changed him! And got him going in a NEW direction!
He’s so thankful for the blood of Christ’ atonement!
And is a different person now, because of that moment!
This same Jesus loves and can do the same for YOU!
Through the problems of life…
He will see you through!
By Jim Pemberton