Her paintbrush is a razor,
Her canvas, her wrists,
"I deserve the pain."
She shrugs and insists.
One day the brush will push down,
And it will cut so deep,
That this girl will fall
into an eternal sleep.
She doesn't remember how she started
What brought her interest to this,
How do you discover,
that cutting is your form of bliss?
No one would have guessed that she does it.
No one would have considered this one.
This girl is forever fighting a battle,
that she thinks the demons have won.
Her artwork is all over her,
Her beauty is on her thighs,
and if you look in her old trash,
you'll find her letters of goodbye.
Her masterpiece is quite disturbing,
Her masterpiece is a little gory,
Her artwork is her escape.
Let me tell you her story.
She compares herself to every person,
She is compared to each girl.
She thinks she's hideous,
And there's this boy that is her world.
She was bullied and picked on,
She was teased from head to toe,
Hard to believe that her best friend,
was her one and only foe.
Then later she disliked every little thing,
Her body, face and even her mind,
Soon she saw she was a failure,
and it was just in due time...
That this girl couldn't take it anymore
She'd decided she was done living this,
So one day she went home
and decided to end it.
Everyday for multiple days,
This girl would try to drown,
Hard to believe this girl at school,
never ever wore a frown.
Sometimes she'd just fall asleep crying,
Praying that she'd be enough,
Because she didn't want to leave her family.
She knew about their sweet love.
This girl found hope in small things eventually,
She soon would see this beautiful light,
and find a REAL best friend,
that helped her put up a fight.
Her masterpiece soon was leaving,
Her artwork was almost faded,
and it gave her a sick feeling,
the feeling of being jaded.
She found a boy that actually loved her,
And showed her love exists,
And this boy too had a masterpiece,
placed close to his wrists.
He related to her and she related to him.
She kissed his artwork and said he's not alone,
When she cut herself it hurt him,
Her masterpiece now wasn't just her own.
Her masterpiece effected others,
Her artwork wasn't just for herself,
She now had people,
who saw her cries for help.
And then her family found out,
So then they saw the art too,
to them they were just scars,
To her they were the truth.
She's trying to be okay now,
She thinks she might survive,
Even though they didn't think
to take away the knives.
He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died,
he has not been the same.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it,
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain,
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best,
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows
what happens next.
All results of
I never knew following dreams could be this lonely,
But up on the hill, looking back, thank God I'm not the old me.
If the tears will fall, let them be;
I believe this is God's plan, follow your dreams.
I am the hypocritical Christian.
I say I follow Christ,
But I'm still consumed by my demons.
I go to church on Sunday,
But I refuse to invite someone back.
I want to serve on mission,
But I'm too afraid to act.
They think I read The Bible,
But I just fall asleep in it.
They think I'm positivity and smiles,
But underneath I'm death and addictions.
They think I'm clean and pure,
But I'm broken and mistaken.
I say I'm not worthy of His love,
But Jesus will never let me be forsaken.
I pray long prayers,
But inside they're empty repetition.
It might look as if my faith is strong,
But my core is too easily shaken.
I say the things I'm supposed to say,
But don't follow His actions or obey.
I speak the truth the church wants to hear,
But deep inside on matters I don't know what to believe.
I walk in shame as if I'm not good enough
To be loved by God and saved through Christ,
But there is nothing I could ever do to earn His peace;
It's a free gift.
Now forgiven, changed, and released.
Thank You God,
Thank You Jesus,
Thank You Holy Spirit!
In Jesus' Holy Name,
She is the muse to her own sorrow;
She is the digger of her grave.
She is the painter of her ocean view
and every fatal wave.
She is the shadow of her Father;
She is the darkness in your sight.
She is the night without the stars
surrounding pale moonlight.
She is the music with no words;
She is sweet love without the reason.
She is your dreamer with submission
cold by warmth with every season.
She is your pet with cold intentions;
She is your baby scared and shaken.
She is the bold and pure- the lost and found,
She is a soul awakened.
The missing light,
That love comes again...
Are like a hard glide,
In a shining rainbow's light...
All dreams and fantasies,
Can be reality,
Is based on reality...
But all histories aren't the same...
Sometimes, we dive,
In our lives...
For what you see,
For what it is...,
'Cause time passes,
But, memories remain...
To your heart,
The body, does,
The mind, thinks,
And, the heart, feels...,
While, the soul, lives...
To remember the past,
To live the present,
And to wait and pursue the future...
Listen to your heart,
Before you are telling goodbye,
Might lead to demise...,
But, remember that destiny can be changed...
Life is unpredictable,
But space and time,
Could be controlled...
And even if some die,
We may survive...
Might have an endless beginning...
All that remains,
Is to be reborn...
Love and Pain
Decided to get married
I know it seems strange
For you would have expected
Love and affection to want to tie the knot
After all…they were similar
They socialized in the same set of word families
Love and passion also wanted
To be forever joined
That everyone condoned and blessed
But, oh, how everyone laughed
At the strange request
Of Love and Pain
To be wed
“What’s wrong with your head?
You two are from different worlds
From antonym slums
You can’t unite
And become one!”
Love held on to Pain
And would not let her go….
He smiled a knowing smile
“There has never been
One of us without the other
For only when you truly encounter Love
Will you experience Pain.”
Pain shed a tear
And yet she smiled
“Where Love exists
I hover near…
Have no fear
Our union will produce
Love sires Joy
A darling child
Love fathers Peace
And Tranquility, in turn
These are the children we will bear
But do beware
Love can’t survive, without Me
For how would He know
How would He be certain
That he is alive….and well
Were it not for ME!
And so Love and Pain
Amongst great fanfare
It was a match made in heaven
For never did they depart
One from another
Love and Pain?
Not so insane
Everyone did testify
That one did not come
Without the other
They were tied together
Nothing could come between them
Except their little babies
The most beautiful mixed babies
That eye shall ever see!
Of Love and Pain
Who lived.......companionably ever after!
Eileen Manassian Ghali
Sailing these seas, right now the waves are rough.
The ship is hard to steer, and I fear we may sink.
My crew has hope, but they don’t see what I do.
The water’s looking troubled, just like the way I think.
Sailing these seas, the waves have settled down.
The ship is sailing smoothly, I believe we’ll be okay.
My worries are at the back of my head.
I’ll save them for another day.
Sailing these seas, I think we’ve struck something!
My crew is in a panic, and I was not prepared.
Captain, don’t you know you always have to be cautious?
Even the leader sometimes gets scared.
Arriving at the shore, the ship barely intact.
Most of my crew is gone, but a few knew how to live.
They saved me when I needed them.
I want to show thanks, but I have nothing left to give.
To me, this poem sort of symbolizes depression, while indirectly talking about it.
The first verse pretty much says
"I am in a bad place, and I have supporting friends/family, but they don't see what I'm going through the way I do."
Second: "Things are getting better and I've decided to stop worrying about bad things happening and try to be happy."
Third: "Whenever I start thinking about good things and have hope, something bad always happens and I should've been prepared for it."
Fourth: "I made it through it, but lost a lot of the people supporting me because they couldn't handle me while I was down, and whatever I went through weakened me so it's hard to show gratitude to the people who stayed."
It was their night they shone bright as they danced their sweet dance
Two lovers embraced in their world of romance.
They laughed and they cried as their eyes locked in stare
It was their world for this moment as if no one was there.
And their steps they so flawlessly glided in tune,
To a melody that touched everyone in that room.
Their passion brought envy to onlookers there,
Who secretly questioned their own love affair.
But as the night closed and came to an end
The lovers were blind to what lie round the bend.
The house and the cars and the jobs that went bad
The kids drove them crazy and their savings were drab.
So they fought to hold on to the things in their life,
That caused them so much of their pain and their strife.
They fought with each other like enemies do,
And dismissed in their life everything that was true.
So when sickness and hardships and troubles occurred,
Their vows to commit seemed truly absurd.
Their home and their kids would now take a backseat,
For their moral obligation they chose not to meet.
So I Ask …
What happened to that dance they danced so well?
With passion and truth everyone could tell.
What happened to their dance where they held so tight?
What happened to the wonder of their glorious night?
What happened to the words that charmed their ears?
With a passionate rhythm that brought them to tears.
What happened to those vows that poured from their heart?
The “I love you forever and till death do us part”.
For these aren’t just words we borrow for the day,
From another who tells us this is what we must say.
We say them cause it’s what we feel true in our heart,
It’s a God given blessing we commit from the start.
But these words are now lost as they fall on deaf ears,
Since the pain and the struggles they’ve created these years.
So the lesson here learned dear people of odd,
Is that love is so fragile but made strong with our God.
So stop fighting for power and money or need,
For all of this nonsense is only our greed.
Keep God in your life and he’ll walk you through,
When heartache and pain and losses ensue.
For why commit vows in the eyes of our God,
And not call on him when life gets too hard?
For the truth of our vows we are all meant to see,
is that marriage is not, made of two, but of three
If reading these words ring some truth in your heart,
Decide that today you will make a new start.
Go hug your spouse and say something kind
Don’t let the small stuff cloud up your mind.
We’re all just lost souls who are trying to cope
If not there for each other then where is the hope?
You see, the anger, the fight
that in us abide, Is only the insecure child inside.
So rise up above all this fear and this pain,
And see all the beauty that there is to gain.
By trusting in God and his will for you
Together forever he’ll see you both through.
For life is too short for our miserly ways
cheap on our love hence dreading our days.
He made us to love in all that we do
To wake up each morning and start us a new.
So pray for your spouse, ask God to be kind
To the person you prayed in the beginning to find.
They’re still the same person you loved from the start
But life and it’s troubles have hardened their heart.
You vowed that you’d love them in sickness and health
Now is your chance to show God what you felt.
So rise up my friend, don’t say that you’re through
For what if your loving God gave up on you?
And we are left here
Like maggots—dirty, parentless…devastated
Always feeding on the gruel…the cruel
Fattening our lives in the moneyless bilk
Shocking like a bee sting, yet soft as silk
We are the forgotten
I am watching the others grow rotten
But I am cleansed and raw with glee
Because…though blinded with slime…I SEE…
I rise to the sound of the agonizing screams
Of rapes, murders, of violent fists…weeping minds
My definition of true finds…
I smile when any possible hope arrives
Fate laughs, knowing I constantly scream inside
I am amused of it all…I can’t stop laughing
As bitter tears began to fall
I HATE ALL OF YOU…
I WANT TO KILL YOU ALL…
But I love that I can take anything
From the nothing we have all been labeled
The sick, the low…the mentally unstable
Watch me roll up in a ball
A naughty tease to death’s lull
I love your silence…
I love your intense fall
And we are more alive than any of you
We are crazed by your belligerence
Aching to be emotionless
SHARE YOUR INDIFFERENCE
Give us something to be left with
So the others can die
As Fate veers its head looking in the mirror
Listen to her laughter—do you hear her?
She watches and waits
To find her maggots have grown wings…
Screw your selfish indifference...we fall to fly
We are more alive than any of you
Though quickly we die