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Humorous Age Poems | Age Poems About Humorous

These Humorous Age poems are examples of Age poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of Humorous Age poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Rhyme |

Heavenly bliss

Heavenly bliss

Shawn and Shauna fell deeply in love
And were on their way to be wed
When a car, on that day, took their lives straight away
As both of their bodies, lie dead

But their spirits were both drawn to heaven
As they stood, in front of the gates
Saint Peter was there, at the top of the stairs
When Shawn hollered loudly  “Just Wait"

Now Peter looked puzzled, at Shawn
And said "This is no time to tarry "
Shawn spoke again, and refused to go in
Without being properly married

Saint Peter replied very softly 
"We don't do that kind of thing here
But if you're willing to wait, 
“I’ll see if I can, get it cleared”

Three months went by, while they waited
Saint Peter, show up with a Priest
"I know it was slow, But I want you to know
You’ll be married Forever at least"

As the wedding was getting started
Shawn asked a question, with doubt
What happens here in heaven  
“If this marriage just doesn’t work out”

A silent filled up the heavens
Saint Peter, was shaking his head
And once he regained his composure
This is what Saint Peter said
 
“It took Three Months to find a Priest
In this Heavenly Foyer
How long do you think, I’ll take for me
Up here, to find you a Lawyer ?”






Details | Rhyme |

THE AGING PROCESS

Many years ago, when we were all young,
We really thought life, would be so much fun.
While playing dress-up, trying on mom’s stuff,
Putting on make-up, we found to be tough.

Then came our schooling, and boy things would change,
“Those aren’t our parents”, when they acted strange.
Sometimes they were hip, but old-fashioned too,
That’s something I swore, I would never do.

Wishing you were older, adults had it made,
They would do nothing, yet still would be paid.
That is how little, we all had known,
We surely found out, once we were grown.

Loving the twenties, we’d go out with friends,
When we went shopping, we followed the trends.
Doing what we wanted, and staying out late,
It didn’t matter, what time we all ate.

Then came the thirties, and most of us wed,
Watch what you wish for, my parents had said.
We had to work hard, many bills to pay,
I guess they were right, what more can I say?

Raising your children, was hardest of all,
Needing some advice, your parent’s you’d call.
It seemed so easy, they needed no rest,
So now it’s your turn, you learned from the best.

The forties arrived, that was a shocker,
We’d spend lots of time, just at the doctor.
Back aches and headaches, so tired you’d be,
Trying not to cough, or else you would pee.

The fifties would come, and your grandkids too,
Where were your glasses? You hadn’t a clue.
You searched here and there, and under the bed,
“Hey grandma” they laughed, “They’re right on your head”.

Here come the sixties, now let’s have some fun,
You are retired; your work is all done.
To dinner with friends, you dressed and you wait,
They never show up, you have the wrong date.

Now the seventies, with friends playing games,
If only you could, remember their names.
You try hard to hide, those under-eye bags,
Gravity happens, and everything sags.

Enjoy every day, and have a good laugh,
All the steps you took, led down a new path.
Live life as it comes, each year a new page,
One thing is for sure, everyone will age.


Details | Rhyme |

The Perils of Getting Old


I’m getting older - this fact I cannot deny
Not quite ready for the scrap heap or to give up life and die
My body isn’t quite the same; my boobies have gone south
But I keep on smiling with gleaming dentures in my mouth 

Got a spare tyre round my middle now, I really need berating
Get a bit more exercise - soon the tyre will be deflating
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
I need to remember things I have forgotten since yesterday

I rely on Tena ladies now in case I dribble pee
Sneezing, coughing and laughing can cause a little wee
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
I need to remember things I have forgotten since yesterday

I have three pairs of glasses now my eyesight isn’t good
I forget where I have put them – getting old is not so good
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
I need to remember things I have forgotten since yesterday

My hearing is it is going too I don’t hear what you say
I need to buy a hearing aid but I’m putting off that day
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
I need to remember things I have forgotten since yesterday

My once brown hair is going grey and now I’ve hit the dye
I colour it quite regularly you can guess the reason why
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
I need to remember things I have forgotten since yesterday

My joints creak and ache and they really need a rub
I must buy some more Radox and put it in my tub
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
My short-term memory is going I forget what I do or say
I need to remember things I have forgotten since yesterday

Jan Allison
21st March 2014

Written from observation and experience … but I’m not admitting to anything!!!
~ Please read notes above about this poem ~
~ Submitted to Kerry Deschler's 'Women Only' competition ~
NB: UK Spelling of TYRE has been used
        ~4th place in the contest ~


Details | Dramatic monologue |

Where The Grass Is Turning Brown In Spots I Buried My Memories

List of things to do before

I fall in love again
I allow my mind to take me
Into the
A wild opened fields
where the grass is turning brown in spots
^
There’s one
 Wild flower
And
Dozens of
Scattered pebbles,
Under my feet
^
Taunted memories,
Bare trees with bend trunks
A cool breeze washes my face
No more umbrella tree
To relief me from
Ray of the sun
I squint from the sun in my eyes
^
To
Think of the ghost in my past
Or to deal with the
Ray of the sun
^
Lists of things to do before
I fall I love again
Buried the pain
Low the drawbridge
or
Keep the enemy out
^
I want to be happier 
Than I‘ve ever been
To
Fall in love again
^
I buried
 Painful memories
Under the bare umbrella trees


Details | Rhyme |

Lets All Embrace Big Boobs

She's quite a busty lady, this fact cannot be denied
Tried to cover them up for years, her boobs shes tried to hide
But with a new found confidence all this is in the past
Shes got a brand new wardrobe gonna show em off at last
Ladies embrace your curves and  lets take the ogling men down a notch
If they stare at your assets - smile sweetly and stare intently at their crotch!

Jan Allison
4th May 2014


Details | Limerick |

You can't have one without the other

The concept of gays in a marriage
One side loves and one will disparage
But rule supreme court
And one side must retort
Justice just had a miscarriage


Author's note:  Regardless of the outcome from the supreme court, I happen to favor gay marriage.  There really is no other conclusion since we are a land of equal rights.  We should do all we can to foster a society without discrimination.  The arguments against these rights reveal a lot about certain people of religious persuasion.  It would be comical if it were not so sad.


Details | I do not know? |

A 'c' change

If you should search for knowledge 
To answer the riddle of your self

All the books found on every library shelf
Might not relieve your puzzle a smidge

Because ‘h’ is the difference of self from shelf
Search within and you’ll see without eyes.

Things happen in a test tube
That we can easily observe and explain

But anywhere outside of it
It’s not quite the same

That’s because it’s out in the open
Where there’s less control and closure.

Some advise taking only two steps 
Once into and once out of water 

Supposedly while you’re watching 
Perpendicular to a flowing stream

So firstly you get your feet wet
And then you get them dry.

Or you take the opposite length
Over the adjacent length

Then every measured distance
Makes each tangent different 

But if trigonometry was used at Pisa
That’s not why the place is famous.

So if a princess was in a tower
And let’s assume she was a prisoner 

At least she should have a window
Because horizons offer a fine view

Then the next time the witch calls her
Rupunzel throws down her chair.


Details | Rhyme |

Fake Words

Fake Words – Zamreen Zarook

God have given us mouth,
Not to speak to north and south,
Tongue is given under an oath,
So it’s our duty to protect them both.

Girls chat fake with boys,
Having a notion that the boys are toys,
They often make varied noise,
Thinking to keep a trap on handsome guys.

Boys are also human being,
So it’s not possible being clean,
Things varies in the way they are seen,
So positive thinking will make you keen.

Boys’ minds are pure,
As it is pure bio,
So don’t try to pour vino,
Which will take decades to get cure.


Details | Acrostic |

Smile

Sense of humour, elevating our spirits
Musing over the simple things in life, rejoicing at what we find
Imagination stimulated, childlike, seeing the wonders in life
Light heartedness, laughing at one’s self!
Everything as it is meant to be, smiling, enjoying, the gift of life


Details | Rhyme |

Dear Michelle

You almost had me,
I wanted you,
The way you stuck to me like super glue,
I was feeling you,
But I knew,
I could never have you,
But, the way you looked at me,
The way my body pleads,
We can never be,
Because I’m too old,
And your only thirteen.


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