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Abc Food Poems | Abc Poems About Food

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Grandma's Garden

 

Apples.. beetles.. caterpillars..
daisies everywhere.. 
fertile ground.. hollyhocks.. 
Ivy jumbled kegs..
leafy mint.. nematodes..
oregano..peas.. 
quiet rest sunsets.. tomatoes under vines.. 
wheelbarrows.. xanadu yearning zeal!


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OF A VIRGIN GOD

Partly clad
full moon
was taking a bath on hills.
Trees were waiting
for the curtains to rise.

Scented stars would make
giant scars on the clouds,
I would make peace with the sky.
Lids of human greed were laden
with golden dust, I was hoisting the skull.

Of a virgin god who did not
want to live for the blotched up creation.
The decline was obvious. Truth 
had refused to climb
on the sky-blue, salted peaks of springs.

Body had arrived,
mourners quietly wailing.
Gouged eyes could not decipher
the script on the halved pyramid.
Sun was sucking the clay.


 
SATISH VERMA


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An Experiment...

.... for your eyes ....

A menu for lusciously delicious lips...
Bread sticks and creamy dips,
Cold, warm, hot on your tongue.
Delicate cherries, can't eat just one.
Exquisite, dew filled honey in the sun...
Fragrant and ripe, skin on the melons.
Grappling the grapes, little balls of wine,
Hands cupped to my face, I take you...
In,
Juggling faith, love, lust and sin...
Knowing, at the table as I came again.
Liiiiick. Said the kitten to the star fruit...
Moan for me...mmmmm
Nature slips between my lips,
Opening wide and closed are my eyes,
Pressing the button... whip cream surprise!
Quivering now, champagne in a glass...
Release of pressure in a bubbling bath,
Swallowing slowly to make it last.
Taste intoxication, erotic exploration,
Uttering sounds of pleasure...
Velvety treasure filled liqueurs.
When it rains I hope it pours,
Xtreme delight, ..fingers food.., and candle light,
Your Way.
Zest of Life! It's a buffet!

Inspiration: Cookie Monster


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The ABC's Of Food

This is my first A--Z poem. Any advice or comments are welcome.

Apples Are 
Being Bought
Cooked Creatively
Dripping Deliciousness
Every Excited 
Food Fanatic
Goes GaGa
Happily Having
Interesting Ingredients
Joyfully Jumping
Keeping Kids
Laughing Loudly
Making Memories
Never Needing 
One Occasion
Playful Puppies
Quietly Quickly
Run Rapidly
Stealing Some 
Tasty Treasures
Unnoticed Under
Very Vibrant
Welcoming Willows
Xanthic Xylocarps
Yummy Yapness
Zesty Zingy


Details | ABC | |

Baked Apple Pie (ABC)

Apples baked
Create delicious
Edible food,
Gracious heaven
Intervenes joy,
Knowing luscious
Moistness,
Never overpowering,
Plain quenching
Richness,
Surrendering to
Undeniable visions,
While Xeroxing,
Youthful zeal


Details | ABC | |

The ABC's of PIE

Why oh why do I love pie?
The ABC's of it, and
The XYZ's of it
The PIE of it

A apple pie
B Boston cream pie
C custard pie
D Dutch apple pie
E equation pie 3.14
F fruit pie
G Grandma's Gooseberry pie
H humble pie
I ice cream pie
J jell o pudding pie
K kidney pie
L lemon meringue pie
M mincemeat pie
N nutty pecan pie
O Oreo cookie crust pie
P pud'nin pie
Q quick set frozen cream pie
R rhubarb pie
S sweet tater pie
T tuxedo pie
U upside down pineapple pie
V velvet truffle pie
W whip cream pie
X PIE IN THE FACE
Y yummy yam pie
Z zesty lemon/lime pie
now you know why oh why I love pie
The ABC's of it
The LMNOP's of it
and the XYZ's of it


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Rocky Mountain Oysters Over Meatballs

So you are choosing Rocky Mountain Oysters over Meatballs
You love to eat them from a zip loc bag at the mall
You grew up in the deep south  eating these odd things
For instance, you choose chicken feet with toe nails instead of chicken wings
You said you would eat the Rock Oysters with spaghetti or rice, it really doesn't 
matter
Sometimes you eat them fried in a Tempura Batter
Do you ever feel remorse knowing some baby pigs are missing their Pa
All because you prefer Rocky Mountain Oysters over Meatballs
I can't condone your preference for  what you would call a tasty treat
Something is wrong passing up boiled eggs for pickled pig's feet
The stuff you eat would have me being a frequent flyer to a bathroom stall
I can't get past  you showing favorites to Rocky Mountain Oysters Over Meatballs
Did anyone tell you what they really are
It's not something you eat with a date gazing at the stars
My mind has always been open to try different things
But I need to draw the line eating a male animal's bling bling
I've eaten camel, horse, octopus even legs of frogs
Down in Tijuana, I ate tacos made from dog
You say what's wrong with this, I share these with my  in laws
Another advantage is Rocky Mountain Oysters cost less than your run of the mill 
Meatballs
Have you tried them with a little bit of Texas Pete
Rumor has it they started with sheep on the island of Crete
I do however like a good seasoned batch of Collard Greens
Can't quite completely criticize the South, I am caught in between
 But I do get a kick out of the deep Southern Drawl
But I am still a Yankee when declining Rocky Mountain Oysters over Meatballs



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Tex Mex Revolution

attacking with achiote
burns with botanas
challenging us with chalupas
deluge of dulce
elotes by the ear
frightening flan
gouged with guacamole
heaping on the hongas
isla isolation 
jugo huge jagged jugs 
KKKKKKKKKK
langosta lunges
monumental mezcal
no count nopalitas 
organized ostion
pummeling pepino
quivering quesadillas
rebelling relleno
sandia sword fights
tortured tamales
uvas uprising
venting vedura
war of the no "W" words
xnipec xanadu
yerbabuena yells
zanahoria zealots




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Golden Grain

.
                                             Amazingly alive and appealing
                                                           Bearded
                                                         Crop ready
                                                Delightful bread bowl
                                      Wheat golden ripe ready for harvest..


Contest:Nature's Bounty
Sponsor:John Freeman

The second choice of ABC form 
from this site's definition...

Click on:
"About This Poem"


Details | ABC | |

A Plentitude of Pies

Alber’s Tamale Pie, Australian Meat Pie, Apple Pie, Amish Country Strawberry Pie,  
Bacon Pie, Bean Pie, Boston Cream Pie, Butterfinger Pie, Banana Cream Pie, Blueberry Pie, 
Chicken Pot Pie, Crunchy Carmel Apple Pie, Chocolate Chip Pie, Chocolate Pudding Pie,
Date Pecan Pie, Date Custard Pie, Dutch Apple Pie, Date-nut Pie, Date Cream Pie, 
Egg and Bacon Pie, Egg Custard Pie, Eggnog Pie,
Figgie Pudding Pie, Fig Pecan Pie, Fig Sweet Dough Pie, French Silk Pie.
German Onion Pie, Grandma’s Egg Custard Pie, Gluten Free Apple Pie,
Ham, Leek & Potato Pie, Ham and Spinach Pie, Ham and Eggs Pie, Heavenly Pie,
Iberian Chicken Pie, Irish Shepherd’s Pie, Italian Sausage Pie, Impossible Pie,
Jolean's Butterscotch Pie (Pennsylvania Dutch Style), Jelly Cream Pie, Jelly Bean Pie,
Kiss Pie, http://picky-palate.com/2010/12/20/kiss-pies/ 
Layered Chicken Enchilada Pie, Libby’s Famous Pumpkin Pie, Lemon Meringue Pie,
Mile-High Cabbage Pie, Mint Chocolate Chip Pie, Mississippi Mud Pie,
Nacho Pot Pie, Nutter Butter Frozen Peanut Butter Pie, Nummy Easy Key Lime Pie,
One Bowl Brownie Pie, Old Fashion Buttermilk Pie, Old-Fashioned Oatmeal Pie,
Pumpkin Pie, Pork Pie, Pink Lemonade Pie, Peach Pie, Pineapple Refrigerator Pie, 
Que Passa, What’s up?  No Q-Pies?  Oops!  Quiche' Pie!
Red Velvet-Woopies Pie, Rhubarb Custard Pie, Raspberry Swirl Cheesecake Pie, 
Stove Top Tamale Pie, Spinach Ricotta Pie, Sweet Potato Pie, Strawberry Fudge Pie,
Turkey Pot Pie, Tomato Pie, Tater Tot Chicken Pie, Tofu Dream Pudding Pie,
U Won’t Believe It Chicken & Broccoli Pie, believe it or not, it’s a pie! 
Vegetable Pie, Vegan Pumpkin Pie,
Weight Watcher’s Shepherd’s Pie, White Chocolate No-Bake Cheesecake Pie,
Xanax Pie.  Yep!  That’s what they call it!  http://www.medschat.com/topics/xanax-pie/
Yellow Squash Pie and Yellow Yogurt Pie 
Zucchini Crescent Pie, Zucchini Squash Pie, Zebra Cream Pie, and Zebra Pie…enjoy!

Written For Poetry Soup Member Contest:  A Plentitude of Pies
October 16, 2014


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The Warmth Of Homemade

The Warmth Of
Homemade

Cooking, freezing,
and raspberry jam
Beef stew, salmon
pie, and egg rolls
out of ham

Quick party foods
and a hunters
breakfast
Castle cake, feather
bed, and little
trees for Christmas

Cakes of Dolphin,
Smurf, and Muno
too				
Butterfly, Barbie
Doll with thousands
of views

Baby items, aprons,
and dresses to sew
You can make your
own maple syrup, you
know

Wreaths, snowmen,
and Christmas logs
are a craft
Helping toddlers
make bird food is
always a laugh

Peanut butter,
sugar, and chocolate
chip cookies
Banana oatmeal, no
bake, and
centerpiece of
crispys

Deer meat lasagna
and savory stuffed
shells
Leftover turkey meal
with stuff off your
shelves

Pumpkin carving,
candy apples, and
nature hunt fun
Accessories for
creative cakes and
rolls of cinnamon

Game night
quesadillas and
wraps too
More is in store and
waiting for you

By: Doris Anne
Beaulieu
At:
https://www.youtube.com/user/Dorisanne13



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Don't Just Eat That: Do Something

Don't Just Eat That: Do Something
June 23, 2012 at 6:29pm
By Oladeji Vicki Acquah:
 
How long have we warned you
how long have you ignored
how long will we be side tract.
We know who the culprits are,
there's no shame in their game.
 
We can call out their names,
They are not hiding, the disregard is blatant.
They can stop the one, they can stop the two.
The masses must rise, and organize
before we are to weak to rebel.
 
This is not a quick sale.
We have been investing in this for a long time..
Keep thinking there's someone watching the barn.
F.D.A ,C.I.A. FBI - H.A,A.R.P .NOPE:
THEY ARE NOT ON YOUR SIDE 
THEY ARE FRIENEMIES.
 "Enemies with a smile"
 
YOU THINK THEY CARE ABOUT "ROUND-UP'.
OR GENETICALLY ENGINEERED FOODS, DO YOU ? 
DO YOU THINK THEY CARE ABOUT" BOVINE COWS",
OR CHICKENS GROWN IN SIX WEEKS WITH NO BEAKS,
DO YOU ?,...
DO YOU THINK THEY CARE ABOUT
CONFISCATING YOUR SEEDS ?
 
DO YOU THINK THE FOOD YOU EAT HAS NUTRITION..
AND THE CONFISCATED SEEDS- WERE confinscated  
with GOOD INTENTIONS, DO YOU ?
 
How long before or children inherit more diseases
to please the greed of the pharmacies ?
 
Do you want to watch them suffer
while they heave and can hardly breath.?
 
You can only for so long make this be about color,
class, or race,as you turn away your face.
 
How long have we warned you
the corn the tomatoes the oranges
the trees the grass the water
the fruit the veggies the air..?
 
Do you care - do you  ?
Stand up now
write, call, Speak, fight...
by any means necessary and...
"Don't Just Eat That"....Do Something !!!
 


Details | ABC | |

TASTE IT

  TASTE IT

Come & taste my delectable cuisine
That tickles your senses you know what I mean
A palatable pleasure that teases & excites
This is my doing my connoisseurs delight

One taste a smell you're already hooked
Trust me my food never gets overlooked

A bite just a nibble craving for more
Once the word is spread they'll be cues at my door

Ready steady cook or come dine with me
To impress the masses I do so easily

A clove of garlic black pepper a shake
I could impress royalty with the food that I make

A natural flair I have & I love to create
I know it's not hard for one to appreciate
Yes give credit where credit is due
Hmmm methinks I'll have fish tonight dessert apple stew

Anyways that's enough of my idle boast
Salmon pate seems nice I'll have mine on toast

I actually have a gift with the rhyming  thing to
Come try my coq au vin delve into my vin da loo

From curried chicken to a tuna bake pasta
  Just like Levi Roots I'm one talented black brother

Da Predman powriginalpoems2makeu:)
The Urban Poetry Collection

05/11/11


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Strings

Almost too disgusting to look at
Bleehh they're so nasty!
Change is soon to come
Delight rushing through my veins
Excitement for the sound still unknown
Feeling the crispness of the new metal
Getting the cords and pedal ready..
Here goes nothing


Details | ABC | |

Abstemious

Abstemious!
Be cooking.
Don’t eat from gastronomic hotels.
Insist jambalaya.
Kindly live maximally nutritious, opt pawpaw.
Quench.
Revitalize strength to undertake vital works XL,
Yields;  zeal.


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Banofee pie

Awesome texture,
Banofee pie,
Captivating flavours,
Delicious, delicious pie,
Enormous portion sizes,
Forever in my dreams,
Gorging myself senseless,
Happy endorphines kicking in,
In vigorous feeling,
Just scrummy,
Keep fit is what I need,
Longing for more,
My self esteem raging,
Naughty but so nice,
Over indulgence,
Punishing ones mind, body and soul,
Queasy,
Roaring aches,
Stomach aches,
Turbulance,
Unkind words,
Vivacious mood,
Wonderful warm feeling,
Xanthic,
Yearning for more and more,
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, so full!


Details | ABC | |

Your Restaurant Gave Me Diarrhea

I ate dinner last night and felt fine 
It was leftovers at 9 
The next day I decided to go out to eat 
I get a rumble in my stomach and begin to feel the heat 
What did i do wrong, ate out tonight 
Now I feel like a crazy bird in flight 
I feel the pressure as I am stuck in a traffic jam in my Kia 
Now I know your restaurant gave me diarrhea 
I make it to the toilet, I sit in the stall 
Plenty available at the Southern Hills Mall 
Too much salt, piss and vinegar 
I begin to feel dizzy, my sight begins to blur 
I am not in the jungle and I am not Sheena 
But facts are facts, your restaurant gave me diarrhea 
My business is finished, I wipe and leave 
I have a runny nose and blow it on my sleeve 
As I depart the john I leave behind a green smog 
The overall experience was too much for the toilet, it clogged 
Good thing there is employees at six dollars an hour 
I get home and take a shower 
Too busy to talk, so I will see ya 
Won't be another customer there, that restaurant gave me diarrhea  
Click  


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Master Cat Race Rules Of Living

Attention seeking gets rewarded so use anything that works.
Baby humans can be dangerous, especially for tails, ears and whiskers, so watch out!
Cats are masters and rule, everyone else follows, period!
Dogs are great for teasing, blaming, stealing good food from and the lowest species, period!
Eating well is an art so snub dry food and play sickly to get better quality.
Furniture is wonderful for climbing, attacking, napping and removing hair all over.
Going to the vet is NOT  fun so PROTEST VIGOROUSLY!
Human hands are designed for petting, rubbing, carrying, and scratching cats. 
Investigate EVERYTHING, EVERWHERE, and ALWAYS!
Jumping from various heights without knocking stuff down is a talent, but if something breaks find the nearest human and love them to death!
Keep claws sharp by scratching a variety of materials, furniture, walls, and floor coverings
Leave gifts for humans to help them feel loved-like dead animals; prove amazing hunting skills and keep them in line. 
Messy meals and litter boxes aren't allowed but if there's a dog around and something else happens, use the scapegoat ploy(with innocent look thrown in).
Napping 80% of each day is essential for physical and mental health so don't skimp.
Owning humans is an important responsibility; play, snuggle, entertain, keep happy but avoid hissing off at them!
Purring while snuggled and gazing up at humans will delight and make them easier to control but be careful one doesn't become too attached and lose control. 
Quiet meows, a sad look, waving a paw while one is on their back playing helpless makes upset humans happier
Remember, don't be nasty for life can get MUCH SHORTER.
Staring out windows while planning on ruling Earth or torturing lesser species is awesome; so practice!
Tongue drooling or hanging out is for dogs or dumb felines; awesome cats tuck it in.
Until further notice: all humans from youngest to oldest, need training to serve the Master Cat race.
Viciousness is forbidden; cats acting so get ranked lower than a puppy...forever.
When choosing napping spots remember, size IS important; where tiniest or biggest humans sleeps IS the perfect place.
Xanthouse is just one color cats appreciate so experiment redecorating the home while exploring.
Yikes, if litter boxes fill up it means new pooping piles must be left elsewhere like planters, closets and bedrooms.
Zits, bug bites, other sores, or just plain dirt- humans lack an adequate tongue and need professional tongue licking help!


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Eat ass

4 men live on farm
No wife
One Life
Need food
Kill donkey
Eat
Ass


Details | ABC | |

Drinking My Way Through the ABCs

Apple pucker gets things started.
Bacardi Limon, with Sprite of course.
Cactus Juice, on the rocks.
Dirty mother, one of my Kahlua faves.
Eggnog, now even more so my Christmas fave.
French Connection, takes me to France for next to nothing.
Gin and tonic, just to try it.
Hypnotiq, I'm hooked on it.
Incredible Hulk, he'll tear you up.
Jack Daniels, my new best friend.
Kahlua, add it to coffee...mmmm mmmm good.
Long Island Iced Tea, one is not enough for me.
Malibu and Coke for an island escape.
Nuttini, the only martini that I will touch.
Ouzo, Greeks can keep this for themselves, I wouldn't mind one bit.
Pina coladas, problems soon forgotten.
Quince liqueur, if I have the time.
Rusty Nail, the kind I don't mind if I encounter.
Sex on the beach, now that's always fun.
Tequila one, tequila two, tequila three, tequila floor.
U-238, the only bomb I wanna be blown away by.
Velvet Hammer, can pound on me anytime.
Whiskey, Irish whiskey, preferably...goes down smooth, doesn't burn.
XXX, the Molson that will wreak havoc with my head.
York Peppermint Patty shot when my breath needs refreshing.
Zima, for something to break the ice.


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Herbivorous Gibberish

Slaves bind the rind and grind the porcine mind to a fine dust, 
on the killing line, tools rust, 
their shine left behind and our curly tailed brethren ascend to a time where the weather is fine , 
a constant sublime, 
an unfurlment of the gaian divine, 
ecstatic sequences sing to the night as biomechanisms swerve to harness the light.. 
rely not on sight but on the abolition of blight , 
keep it lit like a torch, avoid pork and veganise on the porch 
lurch past the church and plant a score of yew trees and find the ease of the consciousness that lies within all of these felons and melons and rise up to heaven to join the eleven. 
Asteroids slither thru bevels, and a blankness blankets their trails 
as the evolution on earth slows to the pace of a snail


Details | ABC | |

Perhaps Something About Brunch

1.

Assist beyond capacity
Doing everything from
Golden heights, illuminating
Junipers, kites, lamps...
Many never obey private quests.
 
2.

Quilted into our own narrative,
Undulating like inflatable pool toys in the water, 
Echoes in our minds the reasons for looking back in time.
Sweet symphonies and crude horrors mingle at this party,
Telling tales of you telling tales about your tales telling tales.


3.

Heaven's Hollandaise hollered loudly at me.
We were wasted and withered, wailing like fat lions.
We had never heard the heavens yell from so yonder in unison
At our great grievances, which glowed ghastly over the Good Earth.
Help! Help! Heralded Hollandaise on High!
Heal our doleful, dead, and wet dispositions,
Let the lawlessness of love linger in our twilight
So that we may move among it, meandering under Mother Moon.


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Anthem (part one)

In a tunnel under earth, we were given a curse
In this world, we am called reverse
Eager to think and question
These things bring out nothing but aggression

We are one in all and all in one

Sent to the house of the street sweeper
Keep my thoughts from them, ill think deeper
In a subway we find the device
Must show the council word of advice

We are one in all and all in one


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ALPINE SCENERY

Across the Swiss and Austrian Alps
brutal gusts steadly blow,
calling for heavy snowflakes
dancing as lost butterflies...
falling as summer's lonely stars.
Ginger bread smells good,
honey in tea is superb;
I inhale the steamy swirls that
jackrabbits love to smell.
Kaffe Klatsch is strong
lurching through their nostrils,
making them too hyper.
Northern Italy's wooden shacks
over the wide, frigid vallies...
point to a warmer South
quiet only at evening or night.
Roam as deer on snowy slopes,
stunning is the alpine scenery:
trees as tall as redwoods
ululate louder than hungry wolves...
vulnerable to snowdrifts' attacks. 
Watch the skiers having fun,
xelophones making music,
yummy polenta being eaten...
zealous alpinists singing.


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angel

A is for apple her favourite food.
N is for nelly fortado her favourite singer.
G is for green her favourite colour.
E is for easter her favourite holiday.
L is for lilly her  favourite flower.


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Mashed Potatoes and Gravy Train (

Well we certainly did it last night
When we went grocery shopping, there was a slight oversight
The dog will not eat his regular feast out of the bag under the sink
But he won't go thirsty, he will have plenty to drink
He's a good old boy, he will not complain
We're having Meatloaf, Mashed Potatoes topped with the dog's Gravy Train
The chunks seemed to soften as they were put on the stove to bring out the flavor
The family will find out if it is something a person would savor
The smell was quite odd, not bad, not good, just odd
Maybe this would be gourmet in some areas abroad
As the kids sit the table, with the plates all the trimmings
The secret item is reduced to simmering
Everyone is ready to hear about the brown chunky stuff on the potatoes, I begin to 
explain
We forgot our usual Mc Cormick's instant, so we had to Fido's Gravy Train
Everyone at the table looked at one another
I hand the first plate to their mother
The next serving I passed to our daughter of  age three
Then the next one came to me
I took one bite, the chunk shimmied down the throat
My stomach instantly began to  bloat
The three year old took a bite and passed gas with the sound of a Whooping 
Crane
Needless to say we gave Fido back his Gravy Train
 


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Spudly Love

Mashed potatoes are a drug
each bite tastes better than than the first
ladled in hot pork gravy 
puddled in the middle of the dollop
and dripping slowly down the sides

soft and warm they slide down my throat
a little salt a little pepper
every bite I feel the pleasure 
everything is simple when I eat mashed potatoes
I am in the NOW when I eat them... 

I'm nurtured by the texture and the creamy warmth and flavor
of that fat spud who I think loves me as much as I love it.

Food is love and  "love is a drug"

I heard that love is a drug in a song by the New York Dolls.



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When Twinkie the Kid Battled Captain Cupcake (

When this happened it caught the world off guard
An epic scene, a memory that you could not discard
Who would have guessed these two titans of obesity and tooth decay
Would break so many kid's hearts in such an upsetting way
The loving memories before this you could not forsake
The day Twinkie the Kid battled Captain Cupcake
Toucan Sam would choose sides and give the Kid some twine
Cap'n Crunch would throw his fellow Captain a life line
Fruity Pebbles took one side and Trix Rabbit took the other
Aunt Jemima split sides with Uncle Ben her twin brother
Count Chocula severed ties with his long time friend Tony the Tiger of Frosted 
Flakes
Nobody realized how much trouble was started when Twinkie the Kid battled 
Captain Cupcake
Now both state their case in front of the FDA 
This is to determine who goes and who stays
The Twinkie Kid tells about his spongy outside
Captain Cupcake fires back with his pure chocolate pride
Captain Cupcake mumbles I bet you would get seasick
Twinkie the Kid hears and replies I know a rotund fella like you couldn't control a 
lasso or perform horse riding tricks
In  the end, they both reconcile and admit trying to outdo one another was a big 
mistake
Generations down the road, history will repeat itself with a legendary battle of 
belly busters between Twinkie the Kid and Captain Cupcake


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Life in the Garbage

The days in life, if you don't use them correctly,
and you spend them without doing things that you love,
it is like a good meal that you don't eat during the day
and you throw it to the garbage.
Thus if you lose your everyday meals,
near to the end of your life, 
you feel hungry,
but there is not enought food to satiate you.
and you die hungry.

Copyright Constantinos Grigoriadis © All rights reserved


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I Move Out and Only Take the Mayonnaise (

That's it, I've had it
She uses Miracle Whip on her sandwich
I just can't handle this, I can't take anymore
I am real careful when I leave how I slam the door
When I left, I took with me
Not clothes or money
No rare painting or the Mingh Dynasty vase
Just what was in the Prenuptual, my jar of mayonnaise
I don't care for the store brand, Sauer's, Blue Plate or Best Foods
With Hellmann's by your side, to have a sandwich, you never have to be in the 
mood
A BLT, can you imagine that without the B
Let alone it would be just as disastrous without the LT
But then again, this is America, you can fix your sandwich any old way
That's why when I left, there would be no misunderstanding, I would take the 
mayonnaise
Some kind of bagel, bread or bun, sun dried tomato,  white or whole wheat
Put whatever you want on the bread, but without out that one thing, it will never be 
complete
Maybe I will become a Health Inspector and find out which brand the restaurants 
use
If it's not my brand, I will write them up for sandwich abuse
I will find out which type they use, for instance in their Tartar Sauce for their 
Breaded Fish Fillets
Or maybe become a Divorce Lawyer to ensure that when my clients divorce they 
don't lose out on their mayonnaise
This is a lesson I learned even though
It was in Black and White in our Prenuptual
It still seen its day in court
My girlfriend's lawyer said quit playing hard ball, come on be a sport
He further states she's willing to give you the car and your favorite 45 record by 
Stevie Nicks Leather and Lace
I turn it all down and stick to my guns and retain custody of the mayonnaise
To this day, we no longer speak to one another
I got back at her, for years I  have secretly shared it with her mother
Is this something I should feel guilty about, show some remorse
I am going to see if can marry the thing I love the most, it will never end in an ugly 
divorce
I don't believe that I am going through a mid life crisis or some kind of phase
Please RSVP me and tell me if you feel this strong about your mayonnaise