Bravery is the father of fears
Dreams are distant cousins of nightmares
Hope is the sister of prayers
Every night shame lays down and gets screwed by despair
Pollution abuses Mrs. atmosphere
It's a battle between personality and reality
But obviously nobody cares
Maybe it's because big tough is the uncle of little scared
Planning is deeply in love with prepared
Procrastination is the biggest enemy of determination
Ignorance is jealous of realization
Sometimes strength can get sneak attacked by temptation
Silence can never defeat a great proclamation
When the brain disagrees with the heart
The body dies of complications
Love your self...
In my heart you will always stay.But I know your there
watching over me.I know your by my side.But I still
miss you.Just because I can't see you.I know your
there.You whisper in my ear and say your still my
little girl.But I know I will see you again.
Daddy the alcoholic,
every single day,
full and countless glasses,
help him please, and bring my daddy back to me.
Count the stars one by one an put one
in your pocket.
Give it a kiss and name an place it in
If your star should ever lose its shine
just give it another kiss an you will
that your star will always be near to
keep you strong an to never have a
If your star should ever loss its
Just give it another kiss and whisper
If your star should ever get weak just
give it another kiss and a promise you'll
But if the day should ever come that you
forget your stars name
Dont feel bad or feel any shame
Just give it another an you will reacall
that the only name for your star will
always be baby doll
It’s funny how my father’s hobby became mine. He has been a sportsman all his life, he played basketball, volleyball and softball all his youth, but his real passion is soccer and even though he is 55 years old now, he still keeps playing it and loving it. He has had all kinds of cleats, all brands, all colors, different styles, but it does not change anything, he still plays amazing. But one thing I do find hilarious is that every time he comes from a game, he cleans his cleats, he washes them and takes them with such an unbelievable affection, that I’m beginning to think that he might love them more than he loves me, but now I do know the feeling of a new shiny, hard and beautiful pair of cleats. I still recall when he took me for my very first pair, I could not believe he was doing it for me, I was so excited, but now I realize that what I was excited about is that I could be like my father for just a moment when I had them on. Ever since I was little, I remember my daddy playing soccer, leaving home all dressed up, ready to fight, and win the ball to make a remarkable roll on the field. The playing field that we both love, the field all covered in grass, all green, so delicious and soft, so colorful… being crashed by everyone’s cleats and the rolling ball, feeling the sunlight on our skin, and the wind on our faces. Having a team, an extra family with whom we could find support and create new ideas, new plays so we could smash the opponent. So yes, I loved watching him play and cheering him up more than I could ever like watching official and famous soccer teams. I do find funny the fact that my father’s hobby became mine since everyone says we’re too similar, and even though he also has a son, his daughter is with whom he shares that connection. I love the fact that our simple relationship was started thanks to such a manly sport, and curiously, to transform me into such a girly girl.
A boy needs a Grandpa,
for man-to-man talks.
To go hand in hand,
on companionable walks.
To fix up his toys,
when they no longer go.
To tell him the things,
little boys want to know.
A boy needs a Grandpa,
to show him the way.
To handle a puppy,
to teach him fair play.
To impart bits of wisdom,
he's learned through the years.
That it's no disgrace,
for a man to shed tears.
A boy needs a Grandpa,
to sit on his lap.
And if no one is looking,
they take a wee nap.
Each wrapped in an aura,
of love and esteem.
Each smiling gently,
at some special dream.
By William P. Darnell Sr.
you think I got listen to you,
you just my kids father,
there noting between me and you,
it seem the words take you back to court is your favorite words,
get this Sheena Shenia Jackson isn't scare of no court system or even you,
its just a word that is there,
so if you ask me you just things to make women scared im not scare of you like I use to,
I have became stronger and wiser,
I have the Lord behind me,
I believe in him very strong,
so if you want to bring me back to court lets do this now,
you are just a man that God put on this earth,
and I fear no man, no woman and no body,
I am a King child forever,
by : Sheena Shenia Jackson
May 23, 2013
My father had this car, not very expensive but very fast. It was old, it was squared, it was blue… a Grand Marquis it was. My dad used to wash it whether it rain, snow or shine. It was right on the garage, I remember, not too close, not too far; it was nice and clean, it was his most special thing. It was old; it was a blue squared Grand Marquis. He loved to drive it, he loved to race it, and everybody in the family embraced it. A day came by, the Grand Marquis he let me drive. At first, I was nervous, I was stressed, I was pretty upset; at last, I was excited, I was thrilled… I was fascinated. This was my first time I drove a car, and even it was my first driving experience, it wasn´t so hard. I loved it, I raced it, just as my dad used to train me. Suddenly, technology came by my door and a portable telephone was installed on the floor. It was the first “not home phone” that I saw, It was the first portable phone in my home. It felt strange, it felt kind weird, it felt as if the world was getting newer and newer, and I was getting older and older, it felt as if the world was spinning and spinning and I was steady and steady; it felt so strange that when I realized, it had went out of range. My father used to race, he loved speed, he loved adrenaline, and of course… he loved me. My mother got scared when he drove the Marquis, she used to scream, shout, yell and cry, she used to dislike it and get out of it, she used to get cranky and sometimes angry. Then, another new artifact came by. What? A trailer horn? Yes indeed, a trailer horn was put in place. There it was, this shiny brass, there it was, this noisy trash. We used to have fun with it, I remember, I remember; we used to laugh scaring people, Oh medieval boys we were! So there it was, this lovely car, shinny, brilliant and old. It was lovely, it was squared, a blue Grand Marquis it was. I would remember it forever, I would never forget it, I would save all the memories and I would smile when the memory come by. With or without the artifacts… we would miss it, we would miss it.
We began so little and young,
Life beat us bad and twisted our tongue.
You and I walked a pretty rough road I can say
When you stumbled I was always there to make you stay.
Stay and not give up, I didn't give up on you than, so I wont give up on you now,
We danced our life so brutally and softly, but this time you didn't look my way and bounced.
I thought we would go on like this forever, but I guess like people say,
Nothing lasts forever.
My roots are were love begins gram paw was my best friend
Always loving and caring for me till the end
We always talk loved an shared to each other everything
As I walk to the stone that bears his name it's only a small reminder
Of his love he showed an the tear that I shed from pain
We were best of all friends never new till the end
He showed me everything I no pleas lord send me to heaven so I can see him agin
I grew up on a farm that was his whenever I needed to cry he lint his arm
Never backing down from me when I did right or wrong alway their
Showing me what life should be he was my true friend even past the end
I love you papaw till we meet agin my gram-paw and best friend
“She was mine” was all he thought
His spark was gone, forever had seemed so long
The gleam in his eye, dulled as days went by
He’d been trying hard to carry on, she was two months gone
He could no longer cry, all life was now, was a lie
His sadness growing deeper, as the world continued to fly by
His girl was gone now, his reason and purpose no longer around
For years he cared, he couldn’t show, but those actions spoke louder than any words
she would’ve known
His poor tired soul began to appear on his face
His heart numb from losing the one love that who with, his life had begun
Now it was his time to start, for in his heart, he knew……
They wouldn’t be far apart.
Dedicated to the memory of my Grandparents
William Lee Neeland Sr. 02/22/27 – 07/10/04
Pauline Sue Neeland 07/27/46 - 12/24/03
with all my love, #2
A long gaze
out the window
you see the cold road
covered in bright
white winter snow
as the cold wind blows
you hold close
the hot mug of chocolate to unfroze
your tingling fingers and toes
tiny balls of marshmallows floating on top
like fallen snow balls that drop
to fill the stockings up with presents
this time of year, is about spending time
with family and friends, peers
as the nights drawing in
my son's was making his
i see how happy he his
and i feel like the kid
holding his dreams, as i kiss
him good night
dressing up as Santa for the night
the feeling of Christmas morning, as a child
now as a farther i get to see my child’s smile
hands frozen from making our snowman
grab the hat and scarf take a picture that will last
for ever that's how i can relive this moment
in this poem
as we watch as Rudolf reindeer
flying over the night sky
the family round the table festive cheer
as the night
closes drinking wine and beer
laughing and joking
gone has another year,
breathing in the heated air
as I'm falling asleep in grandpa's chair......
Lost in this wilderness. .
I feel like a scared child...
Everyone seems so raw n wild...
No one to hear my cry in distress..
I search for your hand to hold..
To guide me to a place where I worry no more..
Am so scared, that a shiver runs down my body n soul. .
As tears drop from my eyes..
All I hear is there laughter, n see them smile..
Lost in the wilderness...
I feel scared like a small child....
A Man will admit to his wrongful doings & not commit to lifestyle of a fool,
A Man takes pride in strength & uses his mind to be his exercise tool,
He is not the person to be rude to define his mite,
A Man is not a burden but the reason for life,
He lives to be for certain,
He will make sure his responsibilities are kept,
His habits are; victory, thought provoking, self sufficient,
Even though Men struggle... A Man will guarantee a will "to make it,"
In fact A Man will make sure his name is mention with exceptional etiquitte,
So when you see A Man with his family his manhood will be evident,
When you look into his face you will see the greatness in his eyes,
A Mans creation is heaven sent,
And not just some guy,
His expression will show a hidden direction,
A smile that displays a beautiful struggle but don't just look at him & stare,
Wonder what it takes to be A Man in a world surrounded by beautiful females & how beneficial it is to have Men here.
for you i have been missing,
you are short of a prayer,
this domain they have spoken is cold but a stare,
for hand that i reach is short of a friend,
so trust me my fellow this is where it shall end,
the blood river flows and colder as it grows,
for my heart is the lands or prosperity as it shows,
a riddle for you my love,
its as pretty as a dove,
think of my father that force me from above,
I am the rich, powerful and the great,
i am the one that has taken your chance of all fate,
I open the gate,
for the children that have been freed to the father of all hate.
Your simple mind is ascending, my souls buried in the dirt.
The pain is never ending, your getting recognition you dont deserve.
Your simple mind is blind, blinded by the fear of defeat.
Its here you give no mind, to destinies others may meet.
Your simple mind is cruel, my minds a warm entity.
No one else mattered to you, mentally or physically.
Your simple mind has much pride, like a king on his throne.
It cant except the time, its name was engraved into stone.
I'll never forget, such a simple mind was still my blessing.
May you peacefully rest, within the luxuries of heaven.
The Hardest Thing I Will Ever Say
by Willie J. Rathbone
I haven't always been there
to teach you to do good
or given you my wisdom
the way a father should
so before this escalates
to where you're feeling hate
please listen for a moment
to what I have to say
in the past I've made mistakes
I'm in jail for what I've done
so when your mother says, I went away
you'll know the truth my son
I've spent my whole life lying
and hustlin' was my work
right now there's no denying
all the people that I've hurt
to save you from the same
you really must believe
the hardest thing I will ever say
is don't ever be like me
Secret I Keep
All these years hiding.
Been keeping the secret that's lying.
Can't forgive myself what i have been doing
Declined the love that you're giving.
Everyday i weep in despair.
For my love for you, i did not share.
Gave the best you can, but did not see.
Has pretended, that you were there for me.
I was blinded and insensitive.
Just how long can you forgive?
Kind of curse i feel like hell.
Living in sorrow it's hard to tell.
Memories of you it's all i have.
No one could give the thing called 'love'.
Only you and you alone.
Pretending you were here inside this home.
Quit is not my thinking.
Restore the past, why can i not bring?
Since you've been gone it's never been me.
Tried to be happy i pretended to be.
Unleash this nightmare, oh go away.
Vanish! It's all i pray.
Whisper in silence in where you lay.
Xanthorrhoea with you to stay.
Yearning for you cannot wait longer.
Zeal of your love and i feel better.
Thou shall not pull thy sisters hair. Thou you shall chew thy food.
Thou shall not stay out until Midnight. Thou shall be in a better mood.
Though shall not answer me back. Thou you shall brush thy hair.
Though shall not wear that in public. Thou you shall behave in here.
Thou shall not give me cheek and run as fast as thou art.
Though shall not rush thy homework. Though you shall begin from the start..
Thou shall not scream at every opportunity no mater if thy lungs be strong.
Thou shall not dance in tantrum. Thou you shall stay home where you belong.
Thou shall not eat me out of house and home. Though you shall get a job.
Thou shall not sit round like a bum. Thou you shall turn into a slob.
Thou shall not fight with your sister. Thou you shall give her a cuddle.
Though you shall not bunk away from school. Or Thou shall be in a muddle.
Thou shall not make noise while soaps are on, if you know what's good for thy ears.
Thou shall not blame your brother, Thou you shall see his tears.
Thou shall not ever worry, Thou I am here for you.
Thou shall not ever be sad. Thou you shall be happy It's true.
Thou shall not ever fret, even though we shall have our fears.
Thou shall never be alone. Thou you shall know we care.
Thou shall always have a life, Though u shall be happy and care.
Thou shall not have a problem alone. Thou you will know we are near.
Thou shall not take for granted, That shall be full of pride.
Though shall never wish for more, with thou family by thou side
By Shirley Moody
You have guided me right from the start
So when I tell you that I love you I mean it with all my heart
Your love and support along the way
Is what has made who I am today
You are a loving father in more ways than one
And I'm so proud to be called your son
We have a father , Son bond that can't be broken
And to me this is a huge token
You give so much and ask for nothing in return
And that is what I have grown up to learn
If everyone had a chance to have a father like you
The world would be so much better because of you
I Love you DaD
The look on your
Tells me everything I need to know
I'm a disgrace to you
What can I do
To make you proud of me?
I'll do it for you
Just tell me how.
I look for your love
In the depths of your eyes
I see nothing
Please tell me why.
Dad, it's me
Your little girl
You brought me here
Into this world
Yes, I'm though
But my heart on the floor
I've had enough
I can't take it anymore.
Por ti chorei
a dança do povo
no meio da multidão chorei lágrimas de saudades
saudades dos seus discursos
a dança do povo no ritmo do Quissange
o povo esta contigo.
Por ti chorei
pensando no que seria de mim
vigésima sétima noite de Maio
carrego teus versos dentro de minha alma
naufragando com o tempo
a dança do povo
On the mountain top
Old grandpa is making his gin again
He presses the corn to fill the pot.
All the way to the top.
The bottles they rattle with the wind just waiting for that gin.
Grandpa he tastes with delight.
Saying it will be gin again before night.
The smell fills the air that might bring the law.
Grandpa is all most drunk.He stumbles and yells
It's Gin again
son you are not morethan your thoughts
you cannot out-run your thoughts
son you are not morethan your vision
oh yes! you cannot journey farther than your inner sight
son listen to the wise words of your father
you are not morethan your dreams
yes you cannot reach heights above your dreams
If I fall I pick myself up and try again
Been hurt before but I won’t cry again
My wings are broke but I know I’ll fly again
Cause I was lost with no map
I paid the cost with no cash
No one there for me in my hour of need
They’ll be there when things are good.
They only care about power and greed
But I could never be a coward or leave
Isn’t anything about that logic that’s sensible
None of that stupid stuff is apprehensible
People walking around like they’re invincible
Like they’ve got no morals or principals
World on my shoulders it feels miniscule
No weight at all
Won’t make me fall
You wouldn’t last a mile in my shoes
Girls yeah there’s been a few
More than life or death win or lose
Been through the storm my skin is bruised
People ask questions like it’s an interview
“Are you depressed, why didn’t you cry when your dad died?”
So I guess I’m heartless and some kind of bad guy
Because I didn’t shed a tear when my dad died
What about when I was 3 he threw a yellow pages book at me
Which left me with a black eye
Now I’m supposed to lie and act like he was the greatest father ever
Without this man in my life
I made it through the harshest weather
No family to stand by my side
No love at all. I thought a parents love is meant to be unconditional
Raised in foster care
Praying my parents would call just to say “son I’m missing you”
No matter how hard I try I can’t run from missing you
Is it any wonder I idolize rappers and Eminem’s the one I listen to?
Where was my father when I needed advice on girls or for my first date?
He didn’t even send a single card on my birthdays
But I’ve still go R.I.P Dad tattooed on my arm
Age 15 I started to self harm
My head would hit the pillow and tears followed
Cuts sinking in my arm so I always feared tomorrow
**** everyone I don’t want or need there sorrow
All they can do is call it attention seeking
But I look at people who allow their scars on show
As brave and redemption seeking
Does that change when you can no longer mention reasons?
And the reason for your first time’s intentions leaving
So now maybe it’s a mental addiction
Sometimes in life you don’t like what the pencil’s scripting
Cause the more I like you
The quicker I say you need to let me breathe
You say you love me
The quicker I let you leave
The more you hate
The less it gets to me
Hate is safer than love
But do me wrong and you’ll be dead to me
So to family and friends who have hurt me I have 3 words rest in peace
Today is your birthday Daddy
I miss you so much
All I wish for is one last hug
To be held tight in your arms and feel safe again
And for you Daddy to take all my pain
Life is hard since you've gone
I've never felt so alone
I try so hard to stay strong
But things seem to go wrong
Your love and guidance showed me the way
But now I'm lost and walking a stray
I need to see you one last time
So I can have peace of mind
You were a magical father in every possible way
That's why I prayed to God and asked if you could stay
If I could of had you for a little longer
I know in my heart I would have been stronger
God said he needed you but I needed you more
You walked towards heaven and God closed the door
I knew I would never see you anymore
I yelled out to you Daddy please stay around
Then I collapsed on the ground
You turned and gave me one last kiss
And that is what I miss
I love you Daddy today , forever and always
Down from the
His little cottage.
I looked all around me hoping to find any traces of
Jeremy's presence, but
Katherine had been thorough and
Nothing, to remember him by.
Out of the corner of my eye a
Purple flag flapped outside the
Quietly warning us of the
Storm that had
Threatened the lot of
Very slowly I
Worked my way to the window and
Xamined the sky outside,
Yawning for lack of
A child's letter
I'm writing you because I have some questions for you.
I want to know if my daddy is in heaven?
I want to know if you took him there to be with you in your army of angels.
I want to know if he is a hero there? Like he is here in the U.S.A.
If he his lets him stand among the best you have. For he is my hero also.
Love you Lord ,
PS Tell Daddy to stay strong I'm taken care of Mommy for him!
I Losed A Huge Part Of Me Thee Other Day, Heard The Heartbeat, He Said Everthing Was Okay, As We Waited There, Time Began To Pass, I Was Getting Scared, He Walked In The Room, And The Words So Insercer Entered My Mind, Just One Word, And The Whole Room Went black, People Stared Like What Were You expespting, My Baby With His Arms Around Me, I Felt A Tear Roll Down My Cheek, And I Didnt Care Who Saw, All I Knew Was A Huge Part Of Me Wasnt there, Emptyness, Felt So Lonely, But Everyone Was There, Mommys and Daddys Little Angel Was No Longer There:"( So Heartbreaking: But True... R.I.P Jamie Mom And Dad Will Keep You In Our Prayers
i have heard so many terms,so many ways to word it
that theres a difference between a dad and a father,but recognition,YOU deserve it
i am not an easy child to have,this is know is a fact
but you,you not only understood,you never just went back
you always cared,and always tried to understand my head
although it's so damn hard to to,it's so damn twisted
you still tell me,i'm not those things,others like to say
it's really odd to hear mean stuff,that's the oppisite of me
i think that you understand the most,out of everyone
it's the closest i have seen,and still yet to come
thank you for working a job you hate to feed us even still
thank you for loving me in spite of my flaws,i know you always will
thank you for showing me what a man should be,i needed that role model
thank you for being a wonderful husband,and a wonderful father
i love you so much,with all my heart,words cannot express
but to put into words so you could know,i did my best
thank you for teaching me morals and values,and that money is not connected
not a part of someones character,although it can affect it
thanks for loving all the same things as me,so we can do great stuff together
thanks for loving fall,halloween,ghost shows,philosophy,and time together
i love you so much,i hope this helped you to understand
you are the best husband,father,friend,brother,and man
that i know.that i'll ever know.
my love for you only grows.
thanks for being just like me.
if you werent i might have gone crazy.
but you do.
i love you.
The day I have to watch what I say
Is the day I wake up to see that I lost myself
Ask me why I want to run away As your screaming at me everyday
Ask me why I can't stand my life
When every time I stand up you push me from behind
Tell me the world is at my feet and you will always be there
When I look around and see my family crying to my face and scheming when I walk away
Tell me to fix my life when my life is locked so far away from me I can't even see myself in the mirror
Now ask yourself why isn't she happy
We promise the world when she leaves
Only to dangle her dreams out of reach
Why do my words mean so much to you
When the world can see that you aren't true
But behind close doors you don't have a clue
You told me if I was lost you would find me
But when tears stream from my face and I tell you
Daddy, I don't know what I am doing
Daddy, help me through Daddy please I really need you
A stone face looks at me and says You've been lost for years
I'm sure you will pull through
My hate has been mistake for strength
And your hate and my hate
Broke a soul I can never remake
You tell me emotion are for the weak
We beat them down till they are on full retreat
I lived a life of feelings and friends
And that was when I was at my weakest
So you pulled me back in
But daddy can I tell you have you ever cried yourself asleep
Because your words cut to deep.
Have you ever been so happy that you promised yourself nothing could take that away
Just to see a knife to your throat by the person that swore to protect you
Imagines of the past rip through my future
As every step becomes cold and calculated
Disappointment is easier to handle then success
And pain is more acceptable then love
Now keep wondering why I can't fix my life
When the only things I can count on happening
Is everything in this world that would bring down the strongest person
Tell me to move forward and remember you kept me down so long I forgot how to walk
And then explain to my friends why I Flinch away from everyone’s hands
So how can I be better dad, when you taught me to run and hide?
I wish I could fix myself I've even prayed that one day everything would be ok
But if you and your life for me taught me anything
It's don't hope and don't dream It's better to just pretend
And wait until this life ends
First day of my life
And I was served with a knife;
At that small age, what had I done
It is true, the mistake was one;
Yelps and cries all over the place
As everyone was indulged in a race;
Me lying on burning floor with an innocent face
Floor really seemed like a burning furnace;
A minute ago, everybody was flattered
Glancing at me, their dreams shattered;
I was covered with a cloth torn and tattered
My back was burning but it hardly mattered;
Yes I was a ‘she', that was my mistake
My heart was transparent like a lake;
My tear filled eyes were asking for help
But nobody bothered my cry or yelp;
A man stood up with anguish look
A sharp and shiny knife then he took;
Feminine hearts were beating so fast
As they knew I would hardly last;
Man with anguish looks was none
He was my father only and one;
Crowd present there was around a ton
I was to be slayed and they had fun;
My mother's lap was hungry for me
Yes to pick me, to hug me, to kiss me;
As she stepped little to save me
My father has already started slaying me;
One and a two and a three and a four
The silence was bitter and sour;
Suddenly a painful scream hit the floor
And was finally killed with the stabs of four;
Red was the color all over the place
The second I was born I saw this race;
People were empathetic towards this face
But nobody was there to have a ‘she' craze;
At last I died with the smile quiet well
Because I was happy to leave such hell.
AM ENSLAVED BY LIQUOR
The bottle had become my friend and companion
When the sun rises I stroll to my favorite drinking salon
Leaving my wife and children in bed to quench my thirst
And spend my monthly salary on my best hobby drinking
Till when i feel that I have bought all the patrons a drink
My children are better sitted at home
Than wasting money educating them
My boys are better at rearing my herd of goats and cows
While the girls can assist their mother in cooking and doing home chores
While I their father can drink and do my usual routine; drinking
I abscond from duty because I can’t miss to drink
My work mates remind me to resume work but that’s is none of my concern
As long as I serve my precious master the “bottle”
If am not the one to leave last the drinking joint last am not faithful
So I make sure I leave last
Now am sitted all alone at my veranda wasted
Having become a laughing stock by my village mates
I had turned into a greedy father and bread winner
I failed to provide for my family needs
I gave up on educating my children
My wife had to endure regular beatings and insults from me
All this I did under the influence of alcohol
Not knowing that my family was being ruined.
I told myself before she was born I would never put her in any form of torment but it feels like she's absorbing all the horror that's forming..it's torture knowing she's not with me and I'm suppose to be her supporter, maybe I think to much cuz i feel all these vultures got get cornered, it's like life has given her some undiagnosed disorder, and she is stuck and no-one can do anything for her. Na I refuse to lose my Daughter to this abuse,I will defuse the fuse that has been lit and not let there be another bruise,I will rescue fer from the flames and make sure she is bulletproof. She will be my invincible little individual I will let no-one get to. Love and care I will supply, for her id kill and die. She is my beautiful baby, one and only Avery
Can you picture life with
Death, no casket
With bumps and bruises
With no condom
With a cure
But not for the poor
Hell on earth
Nothing to live for
No father to adore; so
Now his daughter is
His sons friends
Four different daddiea
Life turned bad
Nothing like the picture
No blue skies
Just crying eyes
The inside of your soul
No one to save you
Nowhere to go
Where is the black hole
Fighting to find the frame
That held the picture
You once dreamed
When elephants fight
A flower dies
So my son what they putted in your mind
to blow up me
the bullet isn't killer
but your hate
You feel shames
you walks in shadows
And hides in cave
And u wears this turban on face
hey my son
they pulled out
where is my son?
My name describes and summarizes me
my essence, vitality, and pressence
it is the model I search for
with stretching arms
and pray in my heart to become
it is a constant reminder of my potentiality
forever linked to my Congo ancestry
as a unification of soul
with stories of unity untold
of family suffering and survival
My name signifies their struggle
and is a holistic envisioning
of my grandfather's dreams
Delondi means epitome
not the purity of any particular race,
not the misguided attempts at perfection
that results in saluts and exclamtatory cries
not superiority as one might arrogantly
interpret with no flaws
but a superiority based on
effectiveness and efficiancy
based on acceptance
and a belief that if knocked down
God can bring us back up again
superiority based on ones best
despite one's limitations
Ngoma means drum
the rythym and sound that
enables us to share our lives experiences
the thoughts, ideas, and messages
inevitably and necessarily implying
a knowledge transfer
from one person to another
knowlege seeking, bonding, enabling
and sharing our inner most feelings
Kintaudi means humble
Humility is acceptance of ones
faiures and inabilities
without the power of the almighty
She's daddy's little girl.She misses him so.
She has tears wrinning down her face.He's
there to wipe them away.She can't see him
or hear him.But she knows he is there.She's
daddy's little girl.She misses him so.She
tries to hold on tight.
I am invisible
No one can see me
All they see is beauty
Not the real me
I'm very confused by this
I think it is all an illusion
But it doesn't sum up my conclusion
That I am invisible
It takes years of practice
I am just so numb with pain
And as it rains
I can't imagine
What it's like
To be uninvisible to you
Maybe thats why I'm always blue
Though inside I'm hurting
You can't see
I am invisible
I had to be strong and not falter
Remember our wedding day?
You ran from the alter
Didn’t want to talk to anyone wanted to be alone
Remember our conversation on the cellphones?
You expressed your doubts
And began to shout
Recalling a fight from moths ago
When friends and us all went out
I embraced you with words
And foiled your concerns
We both couldn’t ignore
What our hearts yearned
We shed our tear
And shared a cry
Look at us now
We’re doing fine
2 years later a beautiful lady
Hugs, kissed, and endless smiles
Expecting our first baby
What a good mother
You never scold
Lilly Ann we hoard like treasure
That’s our precious gold
We shed tears
And shared a cry
Look at us now
We are a family with our own house
And we are doing fine
Time stood still
The clockwork cranked
Eyes not used to venture
The gift of sight conjures
The unsaid is the animated
Affection in forms all coded
Our legitimate silence
Omniscient eyes used to scour
Through covert heart that wander,
Where words and sarcasm are symbiosis,
Egos pulverized, reduced to effervescence
Words that cut, words that shut
This ample heart loves in cower
Things change…People change
The hair is now a crop of grey
The eyes a steady current. Eyelids lowered
Words he utters
A simmering boundary; dormant yet tenacious
Where is the man I fear?
Where is he whose wrath I quiver?
Where was I when you love me so dear...?
All this time we fail to see
We talk in different tongues
Swallow bitterness like drugs
Those three simple words stood
Apart like cliffs of gaping ravine
We stay muted to protect each other
We end up hurting one another
How I wish to tell you
How blessed I am to have you
How I wish to hug you
To thank for all you have been through
This unlawful silence
Will it break,
Before the sun sets
With all it takes?
I’m going to be free I’m going to be me
I’ going to reach for the light
And the wonder’s I can not see
I’m going to raise my hand’s and wave praise
To you who always’ answer’s my prayer’s
To you who fill’s me with the holy spirit
Of fire from head to toe
To you I sing to bring me joy
To you I humble my self
In bended knee
To you whom I can not see
But always’ seem to be with me
To you I lift up my voice
To you be the glory
To you the forgiver of my sin’s
To you whom wash’s away my tear’s
And put’s a smile from ear to ear
To you whom I call in my hour of despair
To you who’s kisses show’s a glow
On my face
For all to see the blessing’s you
Have given unto me
You are father god to you
I owe my life for you have given
Me a second chance
To you whom died so that I
Can choose to live our die
Live in the light our die in the dark
I’m going to be me
I’m going to be free
I’m going to reach for the light
Of father god
My soul has been lonely since a tender age
Since the fateful day they dug his grave
For years I have tried to fill that empty space with a happy face
Although I've known no one could ever take his place
My mind... It doesn't remember that place
Can't remember a laugh...
Or a warm embrace
He'll never walk me down the aisle
Or see my daughter smile
We must cherish our children
And the lives that we living
What happened to him was terrible killing
Over in an instant; No time to blink
Don't do before you think!
Not only did he die that day
My soul still sinks
Dad you are my hero
You've taught me write from wrong
Showed me that you can never judge a book by it's cover
Cause you loved my mother
I know I am grown into a woman
But every woman needs her daddy
I know we live in differnt states
But we are only a phone call awa
I remeber when mom left us
And run off down the road
I was upset
But I knew you was there
When I needed you
You are the best dad
Even though we had our ups and downs
We always got along
I know you did your best to raise us
And I really know that now
How hard that was for you
Daddy you are my hero
123 nurse says push babies first breath babies first cry baby looking mama in the eye beautiful site
123 baby teething baby shots so many tears mama wishes she could stop yet learning
words and making friends well half way anyway teaching that no no can go both ways
Shes mastering abc's and saying thank you and please all in 1 2 3 she might even be a prodigy
1 2 3 everyones applauding at her first speech and shes going out for ice cream chocolate her favorite flavor without the cheery on top just to sweet
daddy kisses mama on the cheek at least hes not not drunk just happy when happy drunk he tounges he punches walls not tonight hes happy cause shes graduating
1 2 3 shes about to pop the question daddy mama can i have a boyfriend an argument quickly ensues daddys mad cause mamas not taking it serious enough she laughed that was the wrong thing to do at home the girl goes straight to the room.
1 2 3 the arguing has finally ceased but theres a creaking down the hall 123 theres a stranger entering the room its to dark to see but she knows its her daddy hes come to give her a whippin at this time of night and hes telling her shes deserving of it all and tonight he says hell teach her about life 123 this this is wrong and they both know it hes going to molest her hes going to wreck her at 13 when she had her whole life ahead of her
1 2 3 bang theres a gasp mama pulled the trigger daddy took his last breath theres blood on the bed mama holds her daughter and cries
123 ambulance announce him dead on scene mamas put in handcuffs daughter goes to foster care mama in jail until the court date life is hell for the both of them till the judge speaks his peace he says for the crime commited i give you no time for protecting your child from a monster in the dark but i give you three seconds to leave this court room before i give you more than just community service and in 123 they escaped the courtroom to freedom never looking back
dad is gone
for so long, u forced to be strong
pull along, world says you worng
a struggle to belong..
dad is gone you fufill
hurt is huting but you heal
dad is gone but not dead
daily your eye are red, but as well you not dead
not much has been said to one another
dad has another..
My blue eye's golden girls like my blue sea's your hair is
like gold your heart like a golden vasle of strenght in
times of trouble you come to me like a dove on the
sea's, your heart is pure silk that covers my sorrow,
and pain, as I look out the universal window of pain
I see you in the distance and your eyes become my
peace and Glory, Glory unto the spirit of the universe
in rest of his arms we found peace, joy and laughter
in the mist of WAR and famine, as July comes and
we all celebrate his birthday in America, ( his Lady
his Glory) we will dance and sing and watch America
lite up her skys, in Glory, Glory amen. God no name
I remember seeing a concrete pillar that dwarfed me,
I remember my eyes hurt because the sun was so bright,
I remember feeling the heat from the pavement reach my face,
I remember scribbling loads of woollen balls on my copybook in the classroom,
I remember my mother say to the nun “Well he is four now”,
I remember playing with a red and cream plastic toy in bed because I was sick,
I remember the nun wrapping my brother’s faeces in newspaper
and sending me home with it to give to my mother,
I remember kicking my legs under the bedclothes because it was Christmas Eve,
I remember seeing a ghost outside my bedroom door,
I remember waking up in agony seconds after I was run over by a car on the street,
I remember first falling in love with the young nurse in the hospital; I was nine,
I remember loving going to the dentist because it meant a day off school,
I remember believing that Indians were going to attack my uncle’s farmhouse,
I remember thinking cows were my aunts,
I remember seeing my mother naked,
I remember the way my father looked at me as he entered the room,
I remember crying because my mother said no,
I remember being lost in Galway,
I remember being found by my mother and she laughed and stroked my hair,
I remember my granny going into town and coming back with a silver gun for me,
I remember my father hitting me,
I remember serving mass and feeling important,
I remember the granny nun, who used to let me sit on her knee,
I remember being afraid of my teacher,
I remember my first lie,
I remember the lie was about sins I never committed but I admitted them to satisfy the
I remember my real sins, like stealing money from my mothers jar,
I remember feeling that I was a bad person,
I remember feeling ugly,
I remember feeling dirty,
I remember feeling hope secretly,
I remember planning to run away with my brother,
I remember promising to myself that I will never forget,
Whats this love for? Is it worth it this time?
Are you gonna break my heart?
Are you truly gonna be mine?
Guys will say anything behind those jail walls , but
the sad thing is I wouldn't believe you even if you
weren't in jail at all.
You've done some horrible things Bobby.
You truly broke my heart.
When I lost you my whole damn world feel apart.
I'm not saying that to make you feel bad.
I'm saying that cause when I lost my whole world got sad.
I'm not perfect never have been but , I truly loved you
and still remained your friend.
Now 7 years later the same words you once said.
I love you Megan , I need you so bad.
The sound of your voice is still the same and hidden in your words are lies.
Things are different this time. I'm not the same girl.
If you try to play games with me I promise I will get the highest score.
I won't fall for it this time I'm mean it I do.
I won't let another guy put me threw what you put me threw , not even you.
If you love me we can hold each other threw all this bad weather.
We can get threw it together , but if you hurt me its gonna be bad.
Not trying to sound mean but my pride is all that I have.
I promise to love you & be there till the end , and if *****gets to
deep I promise to remain your friend.
I hope you do the same , but I hope even more you mean what your saying.
Just be honest Bobby thats all I ask. If you do that I willing to let go of the past.
I wont bring it up no more , if you can show me there's a reason I fell in love with you.
I want to know there is love behind all this pain we've been threw.
If you can do that then the sun will truly shine , and the gas is greener on the other side.
Most of I will be your everything and you'll be mine.
I'll love and cherish you and when you do time I'll do time.
Like Bonnie & Clyde if you show me you love me , I'll ride or die.
To the end of time , you could be the only man that's on my mind.
That's precious. Getting me to say some *****like that is a blessing.
I hope you learned your lesson. Your 34 I hope your ready to man up , and be all
that you can be and more. You owe to it yourself but even more to your kids.
You need to show them their dad's not as bad as everyone says he is.
I know together we can make it. If I didn't it would be heartbreak that I'm risking
So please hear my words their is more to life than trying to put yourself in the dirt.
Stand up and realize what your worth I want you to love yourself and remember I
loved you first.
Thank God for this precious freedom,
something too invaluable to be lost;
and with all the liberties to choose from...be ready to toast!
America has always opened her arms to all who mourn,
and will certainly continue to do so;
does her kind and lovable heart ever let go?
When night comes, look over the dark ocean...and see
how many stars God sends out to make her beautiful and grand:
that sheer splendor is yours indefinitely;
and what do the brave soldiers think of their distant homeland?
America is indomitable and triumphant...
the hope-deliverer and the strength-giver of every destiny!
Thank God for this precious freedom,
it was given as a token of generosity,
abiding by the wisdom of the Holy Bible;
America was a Christian Nation, faithful and simple,
and will certainly continue to be...
and right now is the cradle of Christendom!
Make her shine with your faith,
and be one of those stars, immortal and great,
and could anyone put that devotion out?
Protect, honor and obey her just laws,
and peace, with another era of prosperity, will be yours;
persist in your fortitude and richness will abound!
Thank God for this precious freedom,
He gives it freely to anyone putting down the sharp sword;
observe the humble and obedient heart rejoicing in the Lord:
it only feels the purest joy love can express!
So proclaim it with your joyful song...
of justice, equality and fairness!
Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci
It probably wouldn't be this way
If you were a real feather to me
Maybe I would trust everyone
Who will ever know
Because you're at home
and not being a father to me
So I've decided to move out
And forget about you
But it's so hard
Because when they ask
Who's your father
I don't know what to say
Sometimes I say I don't have one
But we all know that I do.
I always wonder if I look thru a child eyes what would I see. Seeing there parents arguing and fighting for nothing.
Figuring out if it there fault for them fighting. Seeing there mother crying and wonder if they should go and comfort her.
Seeing if there brother or sister see the pain mommy going thru. Hoping mommy and daddy kiss and make up.
You are my inspiration
You are my belief
You are my life
You are my relief
You stand before me
You give me an embrace
You show your unconditional love
You present your grace
You make way for success
You guide me like thee
You help me throughout
You make me smile for free...
You give cute expressions
You give excellent suggestions
You give me motivation
You show your determination
You are my father
You are my friend
You are great
You love me till the end..
why did you have to leave
couldnt you stay a little longer
lonelyness in me is a lot more stronger
i know i will see you again
untill then my heart will mend
so much i miss me and you
with memories that feel brandnew
so untill i meet you there
my heart pain it shall bare
please can you hear what im saying
come back for me daddy
im still here waiting
when i was just a little boy
my life wasnt really filled with joy
my mam she loved me with all her might
my father and her would always fight
he didnt want me that was clear
he would bend me over and smack my rear
his hands would hurt me make me cry
so often i would sit and wonder why
what did i do to deserve this beating
was i bad for wanting a greeting
i love you dad i used to say
go to bed get out my way
my mum was my life and my soul
she made me feel alive and whole
up the stairs she would creep
to check on me to see if i was asleep
its not ur fault she would say to me
surely mum it has to be
all i want is to die tonight
she looked at me her face full of fright
my father liked to have a drink
made him a big man he used to think
to beat me and to make me black n blue
leave me in the corner when he was through
to punch me and kick me in the face
why didnt he feel any disgrace
now hes dead and past on
do i miss him no not none.
I miss you
Maybe, you might be missin me?
My heart is not geared for this
maybe you could help me?
help me fix this mess.
King Philip his father engaged a new teacher
When Alexander turned thirteen.
Aristotle the greatest mind of his time
Gave Alexander his taste for the unforeseen.
Alexander dreamed of a one world empire
Held together by one king and tradition.
After his father was murdered by rivals
He ruled in his place with conviction.
Philip’s death caused conquered kingdoms to rebel
And for next two years Alexander forced them to concede.
The huge Persian Empire of King Darius III
Posed the greatest threat to Greeks and their creed.
The Persian cavalry numbered over forty thousand
Plus one million foot soldiers with weapons and shield.
Alexander’s troops numbered thirty thousand on the ground
Along side five thousand horsemen who dominated the field.
Alexander practiced many new methods of war
One of his most effective was called the siege train.
Several high towers would be rolled up to city walls on wheels
From which defenders were overwhelmed and slain.
He developed mechanical machines of death
Catapults, which hurled fifty pound stones.
Large arrows and burning balls of fire
Smashing walls, buildings and bones.
Soon Alexander fulfilled his prophecy
Sitting on the golden throne of Persian kings.
Possessing great treasures from conquered lands
Though his greatest need was conquest not things.
Alexander, king of Asia, would not be satisfied
His ambition and ego denied him rest.
He decided to march his armies to India
Putting the Rajahs armies and elephants to test.
The huge beasts, which were unknown in Europe
Frightened Alexander’s men at the start.
In spite of their fear disciplined prevailed
As Greek spears tore holes in their heart.
Exhausted by years of hardship and battle.
His men refused to go on and Alexander gave in.
Disease, thirst, and hunger were their constant companions
From the time they left Greece till they were home again.
Alexander was physically and emotionally sick
To the point of becoming critically ill.
He died in Babylon at thirty-two
King of prophecies he pledged to fulfill.
When elephants fight
A flower dies
So my son what they putted in your mind
to blow up me
the bullet isn't killer
but your hate
You feel shames
you walks in shadows
And hides in cave
And u wears this turban on face
hey my son
they pulled out
where is my son?
IM writing what I call a poem story.
IM writing this poem story,
for all the fathers just like me.
Who wasnt giving a chance to be a daddy.
My first job was working on a golf course being a caddy.
Watching the fathers, and their sons playing golf.
Wishing one day I would be a daddy.
But that wasnt meant to be.
My dream was to get married and raise a family.
Be come a proud father and a daddy.
My first wife delivered to me.
A bundle of joy,a baby boy, we named bobby.
I was a proud father as I could be.
When I saw my son smile and look at me.
My first wife delivered to me three more children.
At last I had a family.
Needles did I know,I was a father.
But never had a chance to become a true daddy.
I got us a little house,and a blessing from the LORD.
He gave me a good job at a motor company called FORD.
The more I worked to put food on the table.
The harder I worked,the more my wife and I drifted apart.
Finally one day she left us all alone with broken hearts.
I never really knew reason for leaving and her reason why.
She never even said GOODBYE.
Some time I look back to the past.
I asked the GOOD LORD,were we to young, and had a family to fast?
I tried to keep the family together,but it was hard on me.
So the CHILDREN DIVISION,step in and took the children from me.
My children didnt understand,they said I was to blame.
My oldest son,was so hurt he even changed his name.
From that moment on,I knew it wasnt meant to be.
Never again was I giving a chance to be a father or a true daddy.
GOD saw I was fit from above,
And he sent me down another ANGEL to love.
Her name is BARBARA,a mother not giving a chance to be a mommy.
I am a father,that never giving a chance to be a daddy.
But together with our cats,GOLDIE,and CALI.
BARBARA and me love each other,and we are still a family.
Sometimes our lives,dont turn out what we want it to be.
Even though we never became a true mommy or true daddy.
BARBARA and me love each other,and we are still a true FAMILY.
I found falling a task for the failing
And when frailty became fragile we
Found it futile to go on…
…future faltering in
hope as fearful leaders find familiars
and float down full rivers of progressive
thought fighting for moments of silence
as fleets of fighters march forward
never finding the battlefield they endure
to fight for…
…fumbling fingers find words tumbling
and I tare freedom from fragmented verse
free in faith, friendship from foreign times I
am saved and still falling…
…and in a falling feather I found
silence when the father whispered my name
falling became freedom and as it happened
fear fled from our presence and in faith
All these years have passed
And I still don't know who you are
Every day goes by so fast
Wondering if I should go so far
To see the man up north
He says he cares, he says he loves
My mind travels back and forth
Once again, taken custody in handcuffs
Inside these concrete walls, I sit away
Busted and disgusted, tears begin to fall
Watching time creep along each day
Knowing it shouldn't be like this at all
Never behind bars too long
The outside world provides me light
Compelled to change what I did wrong
Striving to do what is right
Living day by day just getting by
Seething with the twisted pain
I appear in the mirror and ask myself why
Should life be so vain
Gaping into the eyes of reality
The reflection begins to tear and rip
Frightened of the shattered imagery
My psyche endures a further trip
Sometimes I began to forget how life use to be,
and have to go through the box that holds our memories,
Memories of when you and mom didn't fight,
and all of us lived under one roof,
when there wasn't two of every holiday,
and step moms or step dads,
Even though I was young I still remember the day you left,
and mom didn't cry cause she knew it was coming,
I can't help but to think of how things could have been different,
and how it would feel to still love you dad...
My life with my mom and dad was never good nor was my life cause
I am now a single mother of two girls and my oldest is Austin but it's lies bumps I
over come and the only way i can deal with life and everything is to wrote
poems....So thank you all for enjoy reading my poems
The Author of My Poetry
There is an author to my poetry
A creator of my words
Editor of my minds thoughts
Influence of my feeling heart director of my dreams
A force behind my pens movements
The rock of truth amoung my meaning
Style of flow that he bestows upon me
Trusting that I write everything from within me
A mind to capture the essence of what I see
A sense to capture the hearts of those who read
There is an author to my poetry
An imagination the gives birth to my language
An expression for my visions everything I see
The canvas fro my poetic soul
He speaks the message to which my pen bleeds
I am the messages for which people see
What would you do?
What would you sacrifice for me?
I would give my life for you.
I am a a rugged homeless on the street
begging you to give me something to eat.
What will you do?
I am a drunk at a local bar.
Will you take my keys or let me drive away?
What will you do?
I am a child that is being abused broken and
torn hiding the bruises but, I can't fade
the pain. What will you do?
I am all these things and so much more. I
need your help, but are you willing to
give a piece of yourself for me.
I want you to love me. I want to give you
Will you give up yourself for me? After all
I died on the cross for you.What will you do?
Innocent inside the circle,
you reached nowhere.
Dirty hands on the knob
kept the century locked.
Carbon footprints were deepening
under the sun, blue bird
circling in vain. The jealous
moon exiled to black hole.
The dust of the brutal time
settles on the umbrella. I am shivering.
The lies, the religion, the horrible
facts smell of the million deaths.
Who mode the tapestry of violence
into boneless truth and hairless
legs of prayers? Freedom escapes
through the scrolls of flames.
This world steal,kill,and it ain't real cold world. mama and papa gone your house is a
empty home cold world. No school baby growing up don't know what to do cold world. Her
Cool World just Turn in to a Cold World. Lift with tears and swat from off her back lift
along is like a slow song but a deaf life you cant hear the bone broke from out the live
off the young one repeat Cold world.
In my room, nice and quiet.
Until footsteps from out the door.
Dad comes in all liquored up,
NOt like usual a little more.
The yelling starts,
the violence begins,
He tells me to get ready to pay for my sins.
Jolts me from the bed,
A stinging sensation across my face.
IN my mouth the blood i taste.
I fall the the floor with intense pain.
My dad screaming my name.
Pulls me by the hair,
I get out a scream as my shirt tears.
He slaps me again and tells me to shut up.
He leaves the room as I lay lifeless.
Then a thought crossed my mind
To get to the phone.
I crawled over
picked it up
And to my relief there was a tone.
He picks me up and throws me across the room
HItting the wall
The last thing i saw before i blacked out was my dad standing tall.
I awoke with doctors around me
saying i was badly injured
They told me my dad said i fell down the stairs, but i beg to reconcurre
I couldn't move that well
i hurt to badly
could barely walk
Dad comes in
A different side of him from last night
Said lets go
but i didn't want to
Tried to talk
No doctors in sight
here it starts
here we go...
Where is my angel of love
That protects me from above
I look here and there
I feel so bear and alone
Can my angel be gone
Sleep is no rest
My eyes look for my angel
Old heart don't fail me
Is my angel gone
Has heaven closed to the poor
Are all her gates shut
Angel please help me here
I'm alone in fear
Old angel please let me hear
Thy sweet words old dear
Beyond the thoughts,
nothing I mourned,
nameless death was writing its diktat.
The dirty epithets were accepted for collage.
Simply a prayer was needed
for a childless truth.
Rudimentary terms owned
a beautiful diction.
The ultimate pain makes you dumb.
Words lose the vision, you walk in a hollow city.
Now is the time to remember the movement of truth
in a jungle of drums.
Eyes must find out the old path.
Huge crowds collect at the door.
Human connections are at strain.
The questions are never answered flawlessly.
Life should not burn like coal,
but be a tree,
in praise of sky,
wind and earth.
I take a refuge in desire.
‘Seeing act’ strangulates.
I suffer in the mists of defeat,
there is no evidence.
One attachment catches the conflict.
The fading light of moon burns my pillow,
transcripts impenetrable theme.
Conceiving a problem
in the shifting sands, life seeks
a view of words and enjoys the discreet
We play the game again & again,
feed our egos. Study the sorrow
and give charity to the torn flags
of pride and hunger.
The fear does not end,
the looking does not stop.
Each answer leaps to a grief.
The chronicle of squeezed holocaust.
we were hurting each other
humming a song.
Violence of non-violence was more evident.
Today I pray with peace in mind. I pray today that I will find a way to leave my life
behind so I can find a way to heaven. When I climb those steps up high into the
stary sky I'll pray with peace in mind about the life I left behind.
Toe to Toe as we stand facing each other man to man/
Truth is what I want to hear, look am I moving I'm all ears/
Eye to Eye still standing teary eyed,
come on pops no more lies/Truth is what it's worth,
So it's time to quit all this hurt/
Because all you don't bring to the table/
You are what you are labeled/
So let's take the time to talk/
And burn some hours off the clock/
If you don't want to then it's cool/
Then the next word out of your mouth
is of a fool/So Toe to Toe as we stand/
Contemplating the time at hand/
I forgive you while you're standing there/
Go ahead and shed a tear/
Thank you from putting me in this world/
And letting me know everything isn't diamonds and pearls/
Even though you will turn and run/I'm still proud to
be your son/So as we stand Toe to Toe holding your U.S. flag/
I'll make sure I'll tell my kids all about you dad.
JAMAL Z. WILLIAMS
All my life,
Full of strife,
My smile hidden from my fears
and covered by tears
You always treated me bad
And made me sad
But not today,
No longer trapped in my dismay
Today I'm gonna say how I feel
And now I can finally begin to heal
No more hiding my emotions
No more taking you rude notions
Deal with how I feel, like I did for you
And then you will know what it feels like too
What it feels like to not matter anymore
And then, you will find, that soon, you will be afraid no more
Till the end story
hope was not visible
Lie neutral truth
and road side innocence
died under the sun.
End in view was shifting
from error to error.
Statements squeezed between departures.
Steaming cup of patience
dazzled the penniless.
I was sick of hypocrisy.
At the end of my forest
dawn of my child
was peeling a rainbow.
Pedlars of worn out boats
were standing at the shores.
Two little feet were crossing the sea.
Ends did not meet, like beginnings,
fact was insulted by fiction:
the newborn stuns the God.
Drop by drop
life drips from ankles.
Desolation takes advantage,
forgets the path, becomes self-centered.
Dialect changes, to taste the foul
cadaver breaks the glass jar.
Foeticide of a flute, overnight
the soft face becomes dark. Orange moon
floats like an empty boat.
for the sake of swollen lids of time.
The essence of lies weaves a theme
a skull rolls down on a slide
laughing like sin of omissions.
A hot sun glows from the window.
I don't need a diamond
and I dont need a pearl
cause God gave me a jewel;
my precious lil girl!
Copyright McCuen 2008
Tryst with nano was like burning in hell.
Headless body of truth,
turning into invisible particles
flaunts an absent God.
The mist envelops a rag picker –
sleeping on the payment.
Hunger fresh grown will be served,
when sun rises.
Indelible ink an yellow pages
bearing the burden of unborn grief
inherits this globe, the ashes
of burnt out words.
Being was my forte,
where the words speak no more
a lifetime of black stillness,
the sunflowers sleeping.
The controller and the enquiry
freeze the ozone.
I repent again for all the sins of eloquence,
the rustling of leaves.
Take care of mood,
hoarseness and slippery speech
there is no room for pain.
A whole tribe of thoughts
scatters the lines to avoid
becoming, featureless and nameless.
Boulders are falling on feathers.
I am leaning towards eerie winds.
The other side of the door
was misty. The kiss of fire.
Mind wanders aimlessly.
The destiny breaks the steps
of sleepwalkers. They are falling in dark,
towards dark. A moon rides the clouds,
its smile becoming larger & larger.
Poaching on the brooding landscape
you crashed while scaling the flame.
A togetherness became a half-truth.
I had been for basics.
Then shifting loyalties for petty things
you were holding up my soul,
and I did not move with the changing times.
For the rivers
to walk with green trees.
If the words had the answers
to rebel against the eternal guilt,
to beat the death with pain.
for the faded truths.
My experiments with lies will continue!
Let me change the contours of life,
Spider webs have
elective sites of emotions.
I want to open a new range,
to locate the corrupt moments.
Turn over your face,
let me find the scars.
The soaring pinnacle,
fatherless fame, were declining.
The rot was setting on
the fresco of the wall.
Aspiring for god-head
they have choked the fluiting.
Hands and eyes are cadaverous,
unmoving. Sun is burning very hot.
today we have to bid farewell
to neutral day.
Life will not spare the casting.
Too much mist
has settled on the eyes,
raining madness on the road.
Month and years
are giving incontinence.
The sooner you leave
the better I can breath.
When you stand behind
me watching every move I
make, making sure no
mistakes are made.
I can feel your
breath on my neck,
it sends a shiver down
Thinking what will
happen next. Will I be
thrown across the room,
I pray to God that some how
he will get you away but God
doesn't hear me pray.
As my head goes into the
wass, I can feel warm
blood rush, into my hand, I
limp slowly away, tring to
find my way to my room
where I may rest, but you chase
after me, hold me back,
as I try to fight back.
You relize you got
the best of me, you
walk slowly away. I
count your foot steps, to
make sure your gone, then
slowly I, get up and look
straight ahead, wishing the bash
was harder so I could
Crawling softly to bed,
I lay my sleepy head,
to rest. I fall slowly asleep
until the morning comes,
and awakens my beaten soul.
You forgot the lines
and lineage. Getting all
or nothing, pulling away at the umbilical cord,
seeking liberty to commit a sin
or feeling liberated after committing the sin.
The tone embodies the elopement, unbound,
to invent the disorder
and divide the provocation.
Night was approaching with few stars,
flowing like the squealing of a dark saint,
blameless, under the thin breath
of the dying sun.
Into the orphanage enters the day
riding on the dust of history.
My journey begins into time
to change into another tomorrow.
Roses had gone wilting
of acrylic lenses
was projecting a corrupt green mount.
The rubber king had a papery laugh.
How you deal with a maverick –
matter – of – factly?
Pall bearers of a tall legend
were carrying nitroglycerine sticks
Saboteurs of moon night were scheming.
I was sick of pretentions.
Brown and black scars
become a honeycomb
hiding the agenda.
Stigmatized devotion gets back at you
after still birth of truth.
I will wait sine die for the verdict
You are not with yourself today.
Conversation was stopped, from cloud to cloud.
Now you know what you did not want to know.
No longer the pathless destiny,
comes near you, you go towards the
bushes to collect the ash, the burnt out
remains of a theme, a design, a horizon.
In memory of books, which are not read
by anyone now. Pages lay wounded. Black
stones trying to hear the sounds of dawn.
The tremors were increasing in the swampland.
The wolves were in howling rage. A daring
gift of death, tormenting the spirit, human
flesh, you watch through the twilight,
through the terror of betrayal. Each tear drop
sacrifices the eternity.
Black man Black man why should you hold that gun in your hand/
Black man Black man why should you put that body in the sand/
Black man Black man why should you treat another man like dirt/
Black man Black man why do you put your mother through all this hurt/
Black man Black man why did you shoot that man/
Black man Black man now his blood is on your hands/
Black man Black man it’s time to grow up and be a man/
Black man Black man please take that gun from your hand.
Learning something about
a cause with remote effect
you will have a soul
connective to the body.
Near the end of the home
lies the river of fire.
Time to bid goodbye
to blind walls
and enter the arena of lashings.
It was difficult to unremember.
The mind rambled and you were chewing
the kiss of death.
Time traveled in circle,
dealing with fear.
I waited for the space, to widen between us
to breathe forgiveness.
Nothing stirs the waves.
The water reflects the elegy,
a poem for the trapped one.
Nostalgia for the brood,
the age gives way. Half aloud
the evening settles under the covers.
Brute claws kill the span.
ANYONE CAN BE A FATHER BUT NOT EVERYONE CAN BE A DAD,
I WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE BEST FATHER THAT A SON EVER HAD.
WHEN I WAS YOUNGER YOU USE TO TELL ME STORIES UNTIL I FELL ASLEEP,
AS I GOT OLDER YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME WHEN I GOT IN TROUBLE NO MATTER HOW DEEP.
YOU WOULD TAKE ME FISHING WHEN I WAS A LITTLE BOY,
YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE BESIDE ME WHEN I CAUGHT A FISH TO SHARE THAT MOMENT OF JOY.
WHEN THINGS DIDN'T GO QUITE RIGHT YOU TOLD ME THAT TOMORROW WOULD BE A BETTER DAY,
EACH NIGHT WHEN I WENT TO BED YOU WOULD STAND BESIDE ME AS I WOULD PRAY.
SOMETIMES AS I GOT OLDER I DID NOT SHOW YOU THE RESPECT THAT YOU DESERVED,
BUT NEVER DID I STOP THINKING HOW LUCKY I WAS TO BE YOUR SON THAT IS FOR SURE.
THOUGH DEAR FATHER I MAY NOT HAVE SAID IT QUITE ENOUGH,
I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW DEAR DAD THAT I ALWAYS LOVED YOU VERY MUCH.
WHEN THE TIMES COMES FATHER THAT YOU GET CALLED BACK HOME,
I WILL NOT ONLY LOSE A FATHER BUT ALSO A FRIEND AND MY HEART WILL TURN TO STONE.
IN CASE YOU DO NOT REALIZE IT FATHER I AM A WHOLE LOT LIKE YOU,
I ALWAYS HELP OTHERS AND I'M NICE TO PEOPLE TOO.
IF IT WAS NOT FOR THE STRENGTH AND VIRTUES YOU HAVE GIVEN TO ME DAD,
THEN LONG AGO DUE TO DIFFICULTIES IN MY LIFE I WOULD HAVE GONE STARK RAVING MAD.
EVEN THOUGH THIS WORLD IS NOT ALWAYS THE HAPPIEST PLACE,
I KNOW IN MY HEART I CAN ALWAYS DEPEND ON THE GREATEST DAD THAT CAN BE FOUND ANYPLACE.
I WISH FATHER THAT THESE MERE WORDS COULD EXPRESS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL,
THAT I WISH THAT I COULD REPAY YOU FOR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE DONE FOR ME AND MADE IT REAL.
SO SOMETIME IF YOU ARE FEELING DOWN OR JUST A LITTLE BLUE,
PLEASE REMEMBER DAD THAT YOU HAVE A SON THAT IS VERY PROUD OF YOU.
I WOULD NOT HAVE EVER TRADED YOU FOR ANY OTHER FATHER THAT IS THE HONEST TRUTH
BECAUSE I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT ANYONE COULD BE A BETTER FATHER THAN YOU.
I JUST WANTED TO WRITE THIS FOR YOU ON THIS FATHER'S DAY
TO TELL YOU DAD THAT I LOVE YOU IN EACH IN EVERY WAY.
IF YOU ARE EVEN ONE HALF AS PROUD AS I AM OF YOU,
TO HAVE A SON LIKE ME THEN I AM VERY LUCKY TOO.
I HOPE THAT THIS CONVEYED TO YOU JUST HOW GLAD I AM,
THAT YOU ARE MY FATHER AND IT WAS YOU THAT MADE ME A GOOD MAN.
IN MEMORY OF MY FATHER LEWIS JAMES KOLTER DIED DECEMBER 16TH 1996
I MISS HIM DEARLY
Written By Michael James Kolter
Walking alone in
the dishevelled inner space
I find peace in my failure,
an innocent patch of a silent hurt.
The futility of hollow beliefs
crawls like a spent thunder.
Truth remains unborn.
I cross a bridge where eterniry begins.
The freaks chase the shadow for a while,
the idea so excruciating
they melt in conspiracy of silence.
In oneness and suchness
the harmony drips
from infinite pores.
The seed has a history.
Lost in resonance of outer space,
now wakes the blood,
distorting the ripples.
You went blank on the line
between sand and water,
between seizure and assault.
The tribes have unwrapped their torches,
they are coming in numbers.
Who was going on trial?
Fierce fidelity is demanding vendetta.
The drummer announces the fight.
Justice parts the lips for
peace against tragedy!
The golden voice caves in.
Time moves as a profane octopus -
suckers clasping on the vital stomata.
Green blood oozes from eyes.
The truce was transient.
Childless earth throws up the flames.
eyes of brown, hair to match, a smile forever
and her face...
charm of a rose, passion of life, eyes wide open
her emotions not to replace,
words of wisdom, thoughts so true, look... listen...
all done with grace,
laughing with innocents, wondering the unknown
seeing all the beauty in this place,
a life given to me on an August day eleven years ago
a daughter to embrace,
Looking at the stars little Anna said
Of what are they made?
“With the souls of the persons dead”, her Father said.
“From where do the stars get their light”, little Anna said
“From the smiles of the little ones on Earth”, Father responded.
She asked “Why the Sun and the Moon can’t be seen together?”
“The night will not be seen then due to the immense light”, replied the Father.
Little Anna frowns, “Where from the Roses get their smell and Orchids their color?”
“From the ecstasy of love and kindness of God”, the Father answers.
“Where from the rivers get their water”, she intrigued.
“The kindness and love of the Almighty rolls down from his eyes”, the Father continued.
“What is Love”, little Anna asks.
“Love is to care for others just like God does for you”, Father delivers.
She asked, “Why does God never die?”
“He takes care of us throughout our lives.
Without Him, no one survives”, the Father replies.
Drowsiness covered her energetic eyes.
Like profound clouds enveloping the skies.
The father, annoyed of her silly questions, sighs.
The Questioning of little Anna, still highs.
“One last question”, said Little Anna and asked, “Where do people go after they are dead?”
“To Heaven, where peace and serenity reside along with the Almighty”, the Father said.
Little Anna had already fallen asleep
Her eyes had merged with the darkness of the deep
Her lips moving slowly, uttering something vaguely
Trying to hear, her Father brought his ear close to her lips
And having heard the utterance, tears rolled down his cheeks
Only the last words that he could remember-
“I love and will love you, forever and ever!”