Amassed bulging clouds
Dashing enmity fusion,
In jellylike kneaded layaway
Mysterious noir over
Prairies quietly resting
Suddenly trapped under
Vicious wind’s X rated
CarolineCecile - 10.15.12
A yearn… simply something that you want or long for. As a yearn to finish, a yearn to achieve, a yearn for a like, a yearn for a smile is something that you drastically want, a desire. Something that you spend long hours, nights even day dreaming hours thinking about how you can earn that smile. What can you do…. or what can you say … things such as a conversation sparks, likes even dislikes, mostly anything that will crack a smile. These are things that truly show signs of something far greater than fame, sex, money, power. What is it? Something more than I have yet to find. So as I search for the answer I over shoot the entrance with rapid thinking of what she wants, her likes, her dislikes. But truly it will only be earned by who you are, what you want to be, yourself, your feelings your desires, your yearn. So when you yearn for that smile or that special something it can only be earned by being you, no one else. Take a look at yourself in the mirror and try to see past the makeup or tan or piercing and just look at yourself… then take that image and imprint it to yourself forever because to find happiness and your yearn can only be earned one way. Trying to watch her and she how she reacts to certain things just to make myself seem better when I finally open my mouth to her will only make you distant from that special someone. With me I personally see myself as buff pierced orange person, while trying to continue to follow the people who I look up to the most. So as you struggle and go through life’s trials and tribulations always look at your yearn or what it once it what was. Think about how you felt when you failed or succeeded and try to make yourself a better person from it. Not by adding more glamour or appeal to yourself but by being closer to yourself. What you really are. Because only then can you truly say you earned your yearn of a smile or that special someone, even if there not with you, apart of them will be and that’s the part they left. The part that made you better. More complete. So never forget your yearn of her..
Anxiety Borders Crazy Dementia Erratic Frantic Grasp Hyde Introduces Jekyll Kooky Lunatic
Manic Neurotic OCD Psychotic Quack Rage Schizophrenia Tirade Unbalanced Valium Willing
Xanax Yearns Zen
Armageddon approaches as
Huge horror of
Jewish and Christian
Onto an ancient
Seeking solutions are
Wailing war who wait
Zealots to enflame the world.
As I sit here,
time flys by.
I look above,
toward the sky.
And then the lightning strikes
And the dreadful angels cry.
On this night,
we will die,
slowly in each others arms.
And the wounds will heal
and the tears that will fall
will be nothing at all.
And then we will lay under
the ground, lovers in the
darkness until death do us part.
Then my lovely valentine
we will be forever immortal.
I said no
But I mean, I don't know.
The black moon is drowning over the opal sea.
And my heart is a giant eagle beyond my will.
Hold my hand,
Hold my hand,
I said I'm not ready,
But I mean, I don't know.
The red sun is exploding in a plum blue sky.
And my heart is a giant eagle beyond my will.
Sleep with me,
Sleep with me,
I said I'm not sure,
But I mean, I don't know.
The Lightening in my soul is burning, burning burning.
And my heart is a giant eagle beyond my will.
It was a mediocre and bearable day.
I had sprinkled and smeared tiny fibers on my head to camouflage the humiliation.
As I sedately wandered down the avenue I virtually blended in with the common folks.
All of a sudden a fierce breeze hit me hard.
My cover was blown away. A barren field of desolation was all left.
Dear Lord, what treacherous move did you just pull on me?
People noticed me as I stood there bare naked.
I panicked and impulsively decided to flee away as rapid as possible.
I thought I was gonna be okay but then some men in black suits tracked me down.
They abducted me.
Shortly thereafter I was transported to a goverment concentration camp for miscellaneous Incels.
I was to be recycled for experimentation.
They sprayed my skull with some sticky elixir from a flask branded Minoxidil.
This was probably the animal testing phase where I was the subject.
It seems that these chemists where benevolent, chunks of my
abolished humanity started to gradually restore.
Unfortunately the progress wasn't worth the effort.
I was thus banished back to my cellar.
see this blank
He lies a mangled heap of naked shame
dead to nagging worries, thoughts and sorrow
a worn dusty dress clings to his lean marrows
silent he lies in a noisy street with no name
All his lofty dreams and achievements
lie quietly with him in his exposed grave
all his prayers and high hopes none can save
mute the too heap a colossal embarrassment
The joy of an only male child is still
the cheer of giddy success is silent
tears from sobbing hearts are absent
only a crowd of sober vultures at his heels
Curious feet walk briskly away from him
who once lived, loved and sinned like many
who now heedlessly lies without a penny
facing a shy sky who turns away dim
He remains a terrible sight of cold shame
putrid morning, a cynosure of attention
crowds salute hand over nostrils in petition
to our commanding John Doe with no name
A corpse of our national soul lies
dead in the center of our patriotic eyes
A new face to trace
Covet then embrace
Beloved thy trance
Flirtatious on air
Gelid, weary streak
Heroic on flight
Justly proving right
Losing glossy tone
Keenly you dethrone
Mustering the nerve
Obey and observe
Questions the abuse
Shine and gloss aloof
Unwoven with proof
Tarnished we believe
Vanished we deceive
Xerox of our life
Wasted upon strife
You criticized me to the end of my
existence. I completely lost myself, simply
sitting made me anxious.
I was always waiting for you to call my
name and point out another mistake. Self
worth. What is that?
Quite frankly, I'm trying to rediscover
mine. Since it has been perished.
Diminished along with the feeling of
I'm not comfortable anymore. I'm sorry if
you think I'm superficial for liking clothes.
But I'm forever searching for an outfit that
I don't have to tug at and readjust like my
Sorry if my attitude isn't chipper when I
first wake up in the morning after only
getting 3 hours of sleep
because I had lay awake and analyzed
every single one of my actions for the day,
after you insisted on pointing out
everything I could have done better. Sorry
that you think I'm a perfectionist,
because I'm more than aware that I'm not
perfect. More than aware, because you
remind me everyday.
I actually don't strive to be perfect, I just
strive to be accepted. Your voice is like
acid to my ears.
All I want is one day of not having to hear
your icy tone after you call me ignorant.
But ignorance is bliss, don't you know? I
am so lost now that I actually miss the
days that I was naive to this world.
The days where I just nodded and obeyed.
Thinking that it would eventually change
But no...it changed me. I've become a
heartless *****. Actually, I care SO much.
Though, no one knows that. If I come off
as a *****, I'm truly sorry. But I feel
constantly on edge,
like I have to either defend or prove
myself. If someone compliments me, it
has to be a joke.
Who could compliment such a worthless
piece of human existence.
That's what I think of myself now. Your
fault? No, it's mine. My fault for not being
able to overcome this.
My fault for turning to drugs because
Molly was the only one who could make
I counted how many times I genuinely
laughed this year. Six. All of them when I
My fault for locking myself in the
bathroom and not being able to look in the
mirror without bursting into tears because
I hated myself so much.
I'd sit there and write out lists. Lists of
everything I needed to change about
myself, because what I needed to change
about myself was everything.
But, then what does that leave? Nothing.
And if I am nothing, then I no longer exist.
I spent so much time trying to be good
enough for you, that I forgot about what
was good for myself.
Gabriella? Yeah I knew that girl. But she
disappeared the day that she met you.
Though I walk through valleys
And yet I do fear although
I should not when the silence is
Beating down inside my head
When scorn turns to shame
Turns to tears...that wash away
Something I cannot clean
When questions receive no answers
And time breeds nothing but
And so I walk in fields
Where my father's hands have plowed
Searching without knowing
To follow a voice I cannot hear
And yet I know there is
A voice somewhere inside out
There is someone else there
I know and yet I can't
When lovely pain turns to gold
Turns to alabaster sunshine
Something I cannot see
When answers are elusive
And unexpected overcoming
Like the spring and the rain
And so I walk in fields
Written in the lines of someone's hand
Searching without knowing
Yet slowly drawing near
An evil one..
Not to go with soft referred as despotic rules are just.
Nothing quite defected if nothing softly despotic. They are nasty nice.
Some sublime ways are better empathy hearts. List to mores and law as made may then be good. Common all are simple normal looks. What is good? Are we right.
What is evil all are self that like then project to other. .
Someways also some how must be thives to get and punished the thives.
Eyes with beams or eyes with sticks are all not keen or better eyes. Always supposing then always are greedy human natures that are egos. Certain ethics bear by natures. Empathy natures see a while between human creatures and other creatures. Empathy come as something sexy calls to please or beg the other in the very first. However you can learn and go sublimed and go to charity one by self. Certain worse than wrong are evil doing just with natures acquire by all of us as human being.
Freak to have control those all seemingly flexible also feeble are emperorship. Mostly they selected for always be self. Wealth to him and life to him and mostly better stuffs for him is so. Tribes and taboo can be right or can be wrong. By the ways for all of them are some projected from human natures then also culture.
Equality ways for men and girls are right.
Culture also traditional rites may influence life and wills of us.
Good or evil can inherently bear.. Passing genes have identities come with qualities. However what about our culture interference us and some are conventions. However those are come by tokenism reasons.
Some did mention names of Sigmund FREUD. Then our natures just as instincts all are some inflected with our sub-consciences. Some against the taboos which we have evils then there are some behaviors bad.
Most can be evils only with our themes of sexes or greedy egos.
-----------Cheung Shun Sang=Cauchy3-------------
Aphelion my long time residence
Banished into a dreamless existence
Cannibals surround the escape routes
Diligently feeding my doubts
Eagerly anticipating my demise
Ferociously preparing for my conclusion
Gathering hippocampus, for seasoning
Hors d’oeuvres, bloody temporal lobes
Impulsive, angry, throwing away all reasoning
Jaded, crawling towards the scavengers
Knees embedded with gravel
Lesions seeping into my rib cage
Maggots, waiting at the next stage
Nightmares finally come true
Ominous my exile has been
Paralyzing everything, except fright
Quickly, carnivores begin to dance in delight
Rehearsing for the end of my rancid reality
Screaming, submitting myself as a sacrifice
Talons swoop down, and transport me
Uric acid pouring down, singeing my curls
Valedictions will just delay my final eviction
Wearily, watching, awaiting my crucifixion
Xenon, pestilent odors rise from my body
Yelping orange, yellow flames, the last seen
Zooming out of this world, to be forever free
the fire burns
of how we yearn.....
my heads on fire
consumed with thoughts
my only desire
the world i see
to hold a hand
who understands me
A hand to hold
a hand to heal
im none too bold
i drown in fear
here i linger
trapped in my design
with my own brain
kill the pain
numb the soul
lose the sight
lost my goal
yet i still fight
with all my strength
ill never yield
ill go the length
ill hold the shield
lost in the trees
a setting sun
will set on me
nowhere to run
i hold no glory
no famous tale
i wont be sorry
ill drive the nail
ill find you where
your body fell
your mind is near
but im in hell
lost to you
lost to them
found by me
im wearing thin
here i burn
of how i yearn.
I stopped to stool siphon sip on a cool blue
circumstance in the means between the in
times loath listening to complacent
poetic prostitutional practices of stir my friends
ego echoes doing the same f. u. c. k. e. d.
favor dance for me when I ego envy enter
exist your contra content littered with
manic moronic mentaloronic maladies
of entrance entrocities. Lining words
pentamhextamater, rich rhyme, cleaveage crotch
clearance, colic c.u.n. t. coffiure
frantic fascist frames, abounding with
wok out at me sillo sounds
composite of cruel crisp compound
cumulo capsules of I, me, mine
mousy miniscules in drop dreamy
lovelorn lostlust learned
limitations lauded longevity living
linguistic liquidlovelorn light
leaking lanterns, which bequeath
*****in broth biscuited breveties
lucid laminated with word wornwaste
catagorical crass. Leave wailwall
enough alone when yr tackless
trash talent is way less than spittle,
your poor prowess less than dodah duh, Po e tree?
So, my wordful children of BS, when writing yr so called pitypoetry,
devoid of dream dance diminutives coinciding correctly with wrenching wraps
of prostitutional ponder relentelessingly revealing a rapture
of vast vile emoelements of comprosotory
composites of fecalfroughtfrightfolly of fantasies in
poet emeritus of urineyourns a 3 way stretch non nobel poetlorietsupreme
goodfistingluckwiththatcrap;therefore u either play the game or
risk reside in the zombie aperature camera obsecura word death orbit; therefore
Assimilitate before u ass umulate,
Build before u bridge buldge
Concentrate before u cumulo capsulate
Decide before u dildo dick tate
Engulf before u evo enevelop
Fragment before u fracture fantasize
Grasp before u geno germinate
Hallucinate before u hasty hippocrate
Initialize before u initiate
Jackulate before u Jillulasm
Literate before u laud luminate
Mentor before u mirror menstruate
Nurtuate before u neuro negate
Obliviate before u oogle obligate
Postulate before u priest present
Question before u quotionent quest
Recreate before u radical resonnate
Saturate before u semen sacrlidge
Tintalate before u trick translate
Utilize before u usurp ugly
Victory before u vile vanquish
Want before u willful waste
X-turn right @ W follow the X signs
Yuletides before u yell yeildtides
Zeusotide before u zonk zerozilchotones.
Ailing baby cats die exacting fear grief having inevitably just killed loving mothers not
only plainly questioning reasons some things understanding vile wrong-doing xanax yields
Thou hast no gain any trust,
O'er me your sensitivity crust,
Hast no fiery showing undoubted rust,
Without mercy thou showed blast.
Intensity corrupted thru's silence dart,
Thy had proclaim every doer's love,
Gushing of icy fluid covered thou's heart,
Nor charm and kinder as pure as dove.
Away!Thou not stand kinswomen o'er here,
Away!Thy not welcome ungrateful bear,
For kindred heart rules thy's sorority's life,
Thou turbulent of anger should not lived but die!
I'm through with living in these and shackles and chains,
erase me now, set me free from this world,
where blood pours and tears rain,
to a land of love, set me free from these chains,
I’m through with living a life of which i do not belong,
erase me now, let my life begin,
in a world thats just right, where there is no wrong,
let me for once feel that i finally belong,
I'm through with this life that carries on forever,
erase me now, show me my end,
let my soul and my body escape together,
no part of living says you'll live forever,
I’m through with living in the land of the blind,
erase me now, let me see where i lay,
forget who i was, my true soul i must find,
open up the world to which once i was blind,
I’m through with living I’m done with the hate,
erase me now, let my true love embrace,
let me not change my future, let me accept my fate,
show me how to be, teach me not of hate.
I'm through with living where i can not be me,
erase me now let me delve ever deeper,
let my mind dance let my heart run free,
where i think not of them, I proclaim of only me.
I'm through with living, my time is now,
erase me now, to never be forgotten,
to escape from this world, just show me how,
the end is finally here, my time is now.
darkness will fall, bring my eyes to rest,
darkness will fall, no beat in my chest,
peace it will bring, to finally be me,
peace it will bring, to finally be free.
please receive me
i've been stumblin around
i wan't heaven now
how do I get that?
do I stop eatin meat
stop being me
How do I get to Heaven?
I NEEDS my mama
I need my Sons
before everyones eyes
not enough support,
to much weight,
so easy to hate,
to much time,
everywhere I turn,
no one to find,
in the dark,
what's done is done,
no turning back,
I see the crack,
in my soul,
I bear it for you,
but your not there,
were you ever?,
it's been so long,
I am not sure,
hurt's to the core,
take the blame,
I can't deny,
such great shame,
still can't cry,
in my mind,
I walk an empty road,
your secret showed,
always had my doubts ,
about your faith,
kept my eye's closed,
to your disgrace,
can't be surprised,
I saw it coming,
don't know what to do,
filled with fear,
The only one I trust, end could be near,
cross to bear,
must find someone,
willing to share,
too many times,
to many miles,
no more fake smiles,
numb to pain,
can not gain,
numb to all,
I've hit the wall,
scared and alone,
I don't want to bear it,
for him back,
I'd kill I swear it,
the only one who truly cared,
I pray I find you everyday,
yours alone my heart not shared,
thought I had another,
her beauty shined,
her heart divided,
can't be mine,
tried to take you,
maybe waited to long,
when I'm gone,
this is your song,
her house divided,
I could not stand,
when you cried,
I should've held your hand,
can not blame you,
I know I've shamed you,
waited to long,
another sad song,
saw you as perfect,
or am I blind?,
can't commit,one more kind,
wish you would come to me,
I know that song,
but can't remember the words,
its our song,
As I lay you down,
here I come,
are you there,
will you run,
down that empty road,
its just me,
I hope you'll come,
this time I'll let you see,
I'll throw you a bone,
until we meet,
I'll stay Broken Alone.
All eye admiration flood upon your presence
Beyond words, this mind bleeds,
Crushed by your metaphysical yet practical brilliance
Deafened by the hilarity of your quirks
Envying those that may embellish in your jests
Frozen in tears where the past brings smiles
Groveling beside the untouched potential
How is it you excel among such fetid company?
Initiating your moon-shines like the sun is your god
Jumping jacks pounding these ever depressing soles
Kittling the fingertips mindfully so
Lackadaisically glancing upon our stranger-friend relationship
Mustering the audacity to surmount your eccentricities
No one could ever quite notice before
Opulent in knowing you have captured so many
Pained inside to the very last penny
Quenched from courage, I remain caged in your glory
Rabid to agitate your unacquainted waters
Suckling upon the overflow—
The leftovers that offer richness I will never know
Understanding you wholeheartedly—I quiver
Violated by the comfort tease of your words
Wondering how love can surface upon unsteady oceans
X chromosome searching for a sharp fool within a current of chaos
Y chromosome spinning, slightly hidden with a small, sparkly smile
Zealous in the frivolous chase—I was latched from the start
so in love
do you know
i'm not the same
look at what
you done did to me
made me too happy
i'm so happy
i cain't do the same
i feel bad
make everyone mad
but i can't
cuz I don't have to
yOU KnoW YOU're PRETTY
YoUR SAFE fROM ME
yOU WATCH THE nEWS
iT KEEPS yOU fREE
yOUR'E sO MUCH better
THAN i COULD hOPE TO BE
i MAKES ME quiet
Not so mucH ME
I think i MIIGHT BE MAD
you tell me I might be sad
scREW Y oU MY LoVE
I am ready
TO BE GLAd
I am so sorry I tend to whisper to my self while the wings on my back enfold me in my idiocy and bust in a furl of feathers and fire.
My authentic halo falling broken reinforcing my thoughts on transformations...
My lush lies crept up into me whispering to you my secrecy and my merry go round patterns...
I was adapted to serous sabotage and unconsidered volcanic eruptions... Having nothing to react to I made my own quake...
i deserve everything.
But for you to say I can't feel is something that just shocked me at my core...
But then again what should I expect?
are you kidding me...?
But then again what should i expect...
I gave you a reason to be suspicious a reason to say those things...
With my viscosity on the subject I realize I have to be punished... and it has nothing to do with you...
Name that tune
and i almost danced
why do we have clouds?
why do we have sky?
why do we have music?
why do we have computers?
just think why why why!!!
when you lose sight of what really counts
its easy to focus on only whats shallow
am i too fat is my nose too big
do i walk or talk weird whats wrong with me
when we forget the depth that is here in this world
and focus on things that are just absurd
so maybe im not a supermodel and my bums a tad on the thick side
and maybe im no a genius thats getting a scholorship on my side
but does that mean im nothing that i dont count
this world is getting sickening count me OUT
im ashamed of myself for even thinking like this
and obsessing to tears over shallow petty shit
i am praying that god hears my pleas for help
because i cant conquer this all by myself
i used to not care didnt care at all
but like any other i rise and fall
i am of the opinion that your body is a shell
and youll leave it behind when you go to heaven or hell
it will rot in the ground and count for nothing
and when i meet my maker he wont care how big my bum is
some women ONLY care about their looks and they dont get it
they dont see the big picture
and i fear theyll regret it
and other women dont care even at all
about their looks because their depth is so massive and raw
but then theres me in the middle with so much depth and spirituality
why do i waste time wondering what are all the things wrong with me
im sick of crying over it ive done it for too long
im sick of getting angry when i cant crawl out of my bod
its a thought that i had reguarding a cacoon
like how catapielers go into them and out comes a butterfly zoom
if i could just crawl out my mouth my soul free for just a moment
and be allowed to have a different shell to live and own it
i wonder what its like to feel just for a second
not arrogance but a sweet compliment from someone who MEANT IT
my desperate pleas go out to you and anyone else who will listen
i hate my body im sick of my face and my voice is just ridiculous
so lets just drop it in the ocean let it sail away
cuz me im going to better places where i dont have to cry all day
where i know that my body is just a little shell a vehicle if you will
its our car or truck or limo or bus to use while we use our free will
and ive always said when you go you don't take your money your lambergini
or your watch expensive jewlery its all staying beind
and you should think about what YOUR world is while im trying desperatley to fix mine
the days go dark
i sit in this park
its lonly and cold
but these feelings are old
iv seen it before
shes out the door
i slit my wrists
and my blood slowly twists
down my arm and off my hand
my life is fading and its so sweetly bland
i bleed for you
but you never knew
the slow downfall
of my life and all
its miserable,sad and funny to
how much i really care for you
its ok now my life is fading
but no one knows i only evading
the sadness of losing
and heartbreak, blood oozing
the white light draws near
its almost over from here
i love you my dear
you touched my heart
now its time i fell apart
its me not you
see the picture i drew
thats my blood my note of suicide
im sorry im not ok im the one who lied
its over my life has finaly reached its ending
sleep well my love enjoy this last text im sending