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Humorous Quatrain Poems | Quatrain Poems About Humorous

These Humorous Quatrain poems are examples of Quatrain poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of Humorous Quatrain poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Picnics and Sand

Now I know that beach side picnics and sand
No matter how careful the planning go hand in hand
But it seems whether you sit or whether you stand
Nothing quite goes as you had planned

It doesn't really care where it goes
And I don't just mean between your toes
In your eyes and up your nose
And it doesn't smell like a bleeping rose!

In my shoes and down my shorts
I believe with demons this stuff consorts
To going naked I might resort
And I know I've swallowed at least a quart

When this picnic is over and back home I go
To the warm water of the showers flow
I'll wonder if your troubles are the same as mine
Do you have sand stuck where the sun doesn't shine?

©Donna Jones

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Farewell to the Vampire

Parted curtains
puff of smoke.
Parlor trick
or cruel joke?

First a bat,
then human form—
eyes aglow,
fangs enorm.

And in the mirror,
no image there;
it stilled my heart
and stifled prayer.

But Drac was old
and suffered so;
his timing off,
reactions slow.

As he lunged
I stepped aside;
mallet ready,
his chest I eyed.

He lay there stunned,
his big mistake;
I then asked how
he’d like his stake.

2nd Place, Poems from the Vampire, Just That Archaic Poet

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head typist

archy - cockroach reincarnate
from a free verse poet no less
now saw life from the underside
and had to get his thoughts to press

he sneaked onto a writer's desk
at a newspaper late at night
way back in the nineteen-hundreds
it was the finest place to write

the typewriter was set to go
with a sheet all lined up nice
now he just had to find a way
to operate the damn device

unpossessed of hands or fingers
he was suddenly filled with dread
to overcome this handicap
he'd really have to use his head

archy scaled the massive framework
and dived head down with mighty force
the impact and his weight sufficed
barely to type one key of course

no way he could use the shift key
punctuation was not worthwhile
he'd have to use just lowercase
and write in e e cummings style

time and time again he nose-dived
and pounded out a line complete
and then pushed back on the carriage
until it made that ding so sweet

it seemed labor sisyphean
but at last his verse was done
and then he collapsed exhausted
just at the rising of the sun

his column made the daily paper
and many others after that
thanks to his sponsor don marquis
and friend mehitabel the cat

so if you like philosophy
and wry wit that knocks you dead
you should read the verse of archy
a poet who used his head

April 18, 2013

Some of my favorite books as a teenager
were the collections of Archy's articles
penned by Don Marquis from 1916-1936.
These stories were originally illustrated 
by George Herriman, the creator of Krazy Kat.

One of my favorites was "the lesson of the moth"
a nice bit of existentialism, I think...

See "About this poem" above the title for additional notes.

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An Ode To Pink Poop

Imagine if our poop was a pretty pink Or smelled like a dozen red roses Beautiful music was heard when we tooted There'd be no need for holding noses We'd relish the thought of soiling our whites To show off a new shade of pink And proud to fart Ludwig's Fifth Symphony While sitting on the throne by the sink It can possibly be construed as a bit unusual To be writing a poem about poop But pink poop deserves special recognition So let's all just let out a big whoop! Imagine if our poop was a pretty pink And smelled to high heaven of roses We'd be so proud of our load of pink magic There'd be no need for holding noses © Jack Ellison 2013

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How Wounded Thunder Earned His Name

               You stand on "Wounded Thunder's” hallowed ground.

                He boomed such boastful tales  that fearless chief!

                There was no brave as clever to be found

                until he met the source of all his grief.

                There came a one who all his tricks would tell,

                and this is where he made his greatest blunder.

                The minx so bold who knew him all too well

                he married, . . . . and her name was "Stealing Thunder."

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Please Don't Tell My Super Jock Friends

Actually saw my first robin today Gayly flitting from branch to branch Please don't tell my super jock friends They're just waiting for a chance They'll start calling me “sweetie pie” And kissing me on the cheek Ask if they could escort me to the ball And giving my nose a wee tweak I'm just as manly as all those guys With a soft side they don't possess No excuses for my feminine tendencies Even comfortable wearing a dress Okay maybe that's going too far The wearing of a dress I mean Really haven't stopped playing with dolls Now live ones wearing tight jeans Can't believe this all started with a robin A harbinger of upcoming spring As I gayly prance through fields of clover To a bouquet of roses I cling! © Jack Ellison 2013

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Cliches Debunked

To 'ride on somebody's coat tails' Is the most dangerous thing you can do 'Keep a stiff upper lip' is another cliché Mine's not stiff, how about you? 'One good turn deserves another' Turns my stomach if you must ask 'There's no fool like an old fool' I'm quite offended by the last 'Sticks and stones will break my bones' Can break someone's heart as well So if somebody up and says this to you Tell them to go straight to hell 'A penny for your thoughts' is yet another That's pretty damn cheap I'd say A dollar would certainly be more in line With the times we live in today 'A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush' Who made up this silly old verse A bird in the hand is quite messy I'd say Poop on your fingers or worse So I've come to the obvious conclusion Concerning the debunking of clichés Refuse to use 'em coz people abuse 'em You'll wind up much happier I say © Jack Ellison 2013

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Laugh With Jack

Every planet in our solar system Rotates in an anticlockwise direction Except Venus which insists on being different Always one has to be the exception About 75 acres of pizzas are downed In America every single day Probably chow down about an acre myself So I do my share wouldn't you say Our eyes are always the same size from birth However noses and ears get bigger Imagine if our footsies also kept growing Hard to do the Charleston I'd figure The disgusting cockroach is the fastest animal It covers about a meter a second That's faster than me when I need to go badly Running and holding my back end They say only rabbits and parrots can see Behind without turning their heads But mothers also seem to have that ability Try stealing some cookies before bed A goldfish's memory is about 3 seconds The same as me on a good day That's excellent as far as most seniors go Wish it was longer but what the hey Iguanas can stay under water 28 minutes Me too, but I'd miss all my friends Sure hope they'd visit me one last time Before off to the furnace I descend All bubble gum contains a bit of rubber For that bouncy bally effect Makes you able to leap over tall buildings But watch you don't break your neck © Jack Ellison 2013

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Let Your Wind Blow Free

Must explain my reason for grinning It's not what you might think Got a cramp down in my nether regions Maybe too many beans methinks It's easy for people to think I'm just happy Coz I am the majority of the time The look on my face can be very similar This time it emanates from behind Think I just need to let a big boomer go One that could shatter tall buildings I hesitate to let the damn thing fly For fear it would loosen people's filling Guess I'll just have to suffer in silence Till I reach a McDonald's restroom If I make it, I hope they build 'em strong Down with my drawers then kaboom! The shattered remains can still be seen They decided to make the site a memorial Seventeen people have lost their eyesight Six swore off Big Macs overall Now I've divulged my reason for grinning It's not that I'm happy, you see The real reason is internal combustion Not allowing my wind to blow free! © Jack Ellison 2013

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Laugh With Jack Revisited

Some lions mate over 50 times a day Now that's really unbelievable I'm only good for about 40 times tops 50 is almost inconceivable The dot over the “i” is called a tittle I'm aware naughty words aren't allowed Though this one's legit I looked it up But don't yell it out in church too loud Only one person in more than two billion Lives to 116 or older Sorry to disappoint you my P-Soup friends I intend to be that record holder An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain Know quite a few people like that Some are members of my immediate family They's dumber than the household cat The longest recorded flight of a chicken Is thirteen seconds, quite short Fleeing for its life from the butcher's knife Screaming “Got wives and kids to support!” Buckingham Palace has over 600 rooms Elizabeth hasn't seen Phillip in years Tried to pick up her up one night last summer Liz promptly kicked him in the rear Some worms will actually eat themselves If they're unsuccessful finding food There might come a time when I'd do that But I'd really have to be in the mood Beetles taste like apples, worms like fried bacon What weirdo discovered this Even if they paid me a gazillion dollars You wouldn't catch me licking the dish! Eeewww!!! © Jack Ellison 2013