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Funny Quatrain Poems | Quatrain Poems About Funny

These Funny Quatrain poems are examples of Quatrain poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Funny Quatrain poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Quatrain |

Forbidden Fruit

Forbidden fruit is sweetest, or that’s what they all say
So I thought I’d give it a try and went for some today
I didn’t know just what to choose something firm and hard or what
So I thought I’d take a sample of everything they’d got.

There was some really hard ones, some were ripe and very sweet
But I chose one in the middle and it looked good enough to eat
I caressed it very gently and waited for it to please
I nearly didn’t go through with it, I was really gonna tease.

My taste buds are not set for sweet they prefer something more savoury
But no I stuck to my guns but I want no awards for bravery
I took one that looked just right, its rich colour tempted me to bite
But have you ever bitten a persimmon, that isn’t really ripe?

It sucks the moisture out of your mouth and covers you teeth in wool
Believe me you just try it; I am not giving you any bull.
Now for those that thought the fruit, would be some other man
Maybe that’s on my ‘to do’ list, before I kick the can……….LOL

Shame on you all, for all your naughty thoughts
Especially for those of you, that can’t keep it in their shorts
To all those that do struggle, to keep the forbidden fruit at bay
Just remember the persimmon and you will never rue the day.
© ~GG~ 4/12/2012


Details | Quatrain |

DARE WE

~Dare We~ Side by side in the full moonlight, looking up in wonder Shoulders rubbing, breaths, mingling hands begin to wander Daringly we looked together, would we really dare… No one about we can try, there seem no eyes to stare. Hand in hand we start to hide away from the moonlit sky We really want to do this, but we are feeling rather shy Should we in this moonlight, try to recapture our youth? He takes his shoes and socks off, I am excited now in truth… His pants come down, I kook aghast, “they cost a lot” I heard him say. My shoes and jacket I remove, deciding it's time to play He takes me by the hand; our bodies mingle and turn together We feel so young this moonlit night with outstanding weather. His legs shine white, silhouetted against the moonlit sky Now is the time, there's no one here, I am not letting this pass me by Up and down, slowly, carefully, his body looks so lean I can’t believe we are sneaking a go on our neighbour’s new trampoline...
© 5/08/2012 ~GG~


Details | Quatrain |

Admissions of a Sloth

I like to exercise my mind, but how I hate to work.
Whatever needs exertion is the action that I shirk.
Labor with the brain is fine.  I do it all the time.
How I love to sit and read or think of words that rhyme.

But send me to the bathroom with a brush so that I'll scrub,
and I'll barely rub the ring off.  Then I'll lie there in the tub.
Peek inside; you'll find me, a novel in one hand,
resting as I'm soaking in my own little Bubble Land.

Clean the oven?  What a joke.  The most that I can stand
is loading up the wash machine (a task that's merely bland).
Maybe run the vacuum once a week across the floor,
and quickly dab where dust is bad; most stuff I ignore.

As my jobs all pile up, housework's even more a chore.
Why must work that's physical be such a dreadful bore?
My well-ingrained aversion to utilizing muscle
does have one exception: at the gym I like to hustle.

To kick box is so fun although it makes me sweaty.
Step and dance are choreographed.  For those I'm always ready.
But I wish that just as quickly as from running on a tread
I could burn up calories doing workouts in my head!


Details | Quatrain |

Venus Courts Mars on Valentine's Day

A single red, heart-shaped balloon isn’t enough
So I splurge and buy fourteen adorned by cupid
I tie them to the chair of my beloved “Hot Stuff”
To think mere balloons might please him would be stupid

So I search and search for the grandest tea roses
His favorite warm colors are all blended in each 
His desk they decorate in striking poses
Hope these will do the trick and his passion beseech

But then I remember his strong chocolate craving
Godiva treats I purchase and spare no expense
Set beside roses, surely he’ll be raving
He’ll be home in an hour; I can’t bear the suspense

When the door opens, I am wearing a teddy
The Valentine card he takes with a gloomy look
When he sees his desk, he wails, “Enough already!”
And he doesn’t even try my straps to unhook

How puzzled I feel when he says, “We have to talk”
No, he hadn’t forgotten this lovers’ holiday
Into his small closet he suggests we should walk
He seems so depressed; I’d expected a hooray

Piled high in the closet are all occasion gifts
Gaudy Christmas sweaters and tons of chocolate hearts
He can’t find his clothes and between us grows a rift
To sort through this maze, he would need a detailed chart

“Take all this stuff with you and please just leave my home
In fact, I’ll pay your expenses to relocate
And be sure to take that hideous garden gnome
Make it snappy, will you?  I have a date at eight!”



*For Joyce’s “Emotional Response” contest


Details | Quatrain |

Twas the Night Before Christmas

(warning: adult humor) Twas the night before Christmas when I and my groom finally found a motel but with just one room. My groom was in the bathroom - leaving me alone- so that he could douse himself with some cheap cologne. I - in my red negligee - thought of bump and grind, visions of his sugar plums dancing in my mind. Then a noise I heard outside gave me such a fright! who was out there in the snow on our special night? Opening our small room’s door, I felt like a goof. It was just an icicle falling off the roof. Then I felt a sudden breeze. One unlucky bride! As the door behind me shut, I was locked outside. When upon my motel door I began to pound, it was clear that my dear groom did not hear a sound. Right before my startled eyes, what should then appear? Someone dressed as Santa Claus, filling me with fear! His eyes, though not so cheery, lit up, seeing me as he crossed the street and came stumbling drunkenly. I stood helpless, trembling in scanty siren red when an icicle fell down clunking my poor head. I revived in the ER, thong still on my rump! Underneath my bandage was an enormous lump. Thankfully my groom was there, smelling of Old Spice. But we’d have no chance to give gifts naughty and nice. At our room I later saw Santa Claus was there - that same guy who’d seen me in sexy underwear. Having seen my accident he’d informed my groom right before he then collapsed stone drunk in our room. Santa on our honeymoon with cheeks rosy red, (but not one “Merry Christmas”), stole our wedding bed.


Details | Quatrain |

Crazy Thoughts No 1

Why do they call it 'tourist season'
If you're not allowed to shoot 'em
Seems like a great opportunity
To end the over crowding problem

If a house fly loses both of its wings
Would we have to call them 'walks'
Is it possible to have a civil war
Of course not that's just silly talk

Any idea what the best thing was
That came before sliced bread
If a turtle somehow loses its shell
Is it homeless, naked, or dead

I find this saying quite unnerving
“Practice” is what doctors do
And braille on drive-through windows
Find that kinda scary don't you

If a parsley farmer ever gets sued
Can they legally garnish his wages
Well that's enough of this silly talk
At times I go through these phases

© Jack Ellison 2012


Details | Quatrain |

Things I Don't Understand

There are things I don't understand
And would really like to know
Such as why they call it rush hour
And you move so freakin' slow

How come you get a learner's permit 
To get a license to drive a car
But they don't give one for a marriage license
Now I think that's going too far

Why do they put deer crossing signs up 
Do you believe there is really any need
In all my years of driving
I've never met a single deer who can read

I was reading a map in the park
And it definitely astonished me so
It had a red X that said you are here
And I was wondering how they know.


Details | Quatrain |

Laughter The Best Medicine

Forty years of married life, the couple set out to celebrate
Fine dining beautiful wine, and a waltz with stumbling gait
Turning to her husband she demands for him to remember details
Quickly he answers, “Yes darling, your beautiful dress, my hat and tails.”

He walked beside her hand in hand she notices a tear drop that falls
Thinking he’s sentimental she demands to know what he does recall
Sighing wistfully looking at the stars he tells her, it was before they did wed
Your father had a shotgun, he said if I didn’t turn up I'd wish I was dead.

“Why do you remember that, is there nothing more romantic you can say?”
The virago of a wife demands more memories of the wedding day…
The husband sighs “He said he would send me to jail for forty years at the very least“ 
I just had a thought, if I hadn’t married you, tomorrow would be my day of release……


© 28/11/2012~GG~ 

Entry for Laughter The Best Medicine sponsored by Vie


Details | Quatrain |

A Zulu Warrior

Do you sometimes see a Zulu Warrior Staring back from the mirror in the morning! A nasty fierce looking bad tempered dude Obscenities flying out without warning Crabbing bout having to make a living But enjoying all the many accoutrements If it wasn't that, it'd be something else People just love to complain and vent A shower and shave, you're almost human Not one person will ever suspect That a member of the Zulu Warriors tribe Was a coworker of great respect Do you sometimes see a Zulu Warrior Staring back from the mirror in the morning! © Jack Ellison 2012


Details | Quatrain |

My Sister Is An Alien!

My sister is strange
There's no doubt about it
She's an Alien,  that's why
Just get up and shout it!

Her mind control crying
Gets her anything she wants
I say "That's not fair!"
But she just looks at me and taunts

My sister is strange
There's no doubt about it
She's an Alien,  that's why
Just get up and shout it!

It's just a disguise
I'm on to her
Is she scaly
Or covered in fur

My sister is strange
There's no doubt about it
She's an Alien,  that's why
Just get up and shout it!

She's spying on us
They 're ready to invade
So don't just be frightened
Be very afraid!

My sister is strange
There's no doubt about it
She's an Alien,  that's why
Just get up and shout it!


She knows I'm on to her
She's calling for friends
So run for your life
And hide till it ends


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