Oh, stay with me for always love
though I may pull away,
or strike your cheek with brazen hand,
then tease you with my play.
Pledge your heart my cherished one,
though deeds do not deserve.
My words cry out from silent tongue.
Why have I lost my nerve?
Spare me tears from love’s lost nights
and lonely days, sun-spilled,
a flood of light could never quench
soul’s thirst, I live for still.
A need or want, I ne’er define
nor scores I dare not keep,
for love’s own breath whispered in ear
can cause my heart to leap.
I pray mistakes of past shan’t cost
my love and morrow’s trust.
No roses bloom without the thorns;
no hearth warms without dust.
So if you go, my love from thee
I’ll know ‘tis all my fault.
To borrow time, I’ll beg and plead
‘til pounding heart does halt.
You asked me to forgive you
Still you would cause me pain again
Your words rained down like daggers
Soaking my soul with so much pain
I know i was taught to forgive
It became harder every day
All the ways you had to hurt me
I was the game you loved to play
You had quite an imagination
The ways you would describe my demise
Thankfully I chose not to follow
Yours was a pathway paved with lies
In my mind I reinvented
Chose a future that was worthwhile
Yes I took a few steps backwards
Still moving forward all the while
As the gap between us lengthened
God took my heart and made it whole
Yes beginnings are important
I learned forgiveness plays a role
It was not so much about you
Or all the things that you had done
My healing could not be complete
Without knowing God's only Son
There is light beyond the darkness
Perhaps one day I will see your face
I hope you asked God for forgiveness
Your sins will be gone without a trace
If my Savior can forgive you
The way he has forgiven me
There is more to who you were
Than what I was able to see
I forgive you dad
The warrior lays her weary head,
With heavy heart she cannot bear,
Burning tears stream down her face,
As whispered memories touch the ear.
Her armour tarnished by remorse,
Her battle-cry a wimpered row,
Her wounds, of which bleed solitude,
Will never know forgiveness now.
The song began two score ago,
When two came knocking at her door,
In need of refuge from the world,
Of that, and love, and little more.
Forced to fight for every smile,
Her only solace found in song,
She longed for love to rescue her,
And plant her where she could belong.
Jealous tongues are seldom kind,
Self-seeking hearts know nought of love,
The caged canary only sings,
When coaxed to praise from up above.
For the steely spine that now I own,
Forever shall I grateful be,
A gift from her, and from her own.
Courage mounted inwardly.
I'll not forget how I have loved thee,
And youthful memories I will prize,
Til on the shore of His forgiveness,
Whereto now, we both shall rise.
Sometimes, I think about my life
And the prices I have paid
All the places I have been
The choices I have made
Seems somewhere along the path
I stumbled upon a stone
At that moment I realized
I’d forgotten my way home
My home became a prison cell
My memory was forgotten
My soul was like an egg
An egg that had gone rotten
Sorry I had to go away
You didn’t deserve my shame
I moved very far away
No connection to my name
My life has always been a lie
One I kept hidden from you
When you thought I was in college
Serving time up in the zoo
On the day I was released
You thought I graduated
The moment you were most proud
Another lie to be hated
I have learned it’s never to late
I believe those words are true
Grandma I’m on a mission
I will graduate for you
I really want to earn the pride
You gave me so long ago
I think it will bring some peace
Releasing guilt up in my soul
I’ve learned in the game of life
We must earn our pride
Even if the people are gone
Resting on the other side
I’ve learned in the game of life
Even though they may be hard
Choices aren’t like rolling dice
They're not like flipping cards
Choices define who we are
I know these words are true
Every choice I know make
Are bringing me back home to you
Grandma, I know where heaven is
It’s right here inside my heart
Inside of mine your memory
Until death will never part
During the time I have left
I vow to always let it show
All the seeds you sowed in me
I shall nourish as they grow
In the end I’ll sit with you
Just like when I was a boy
We’ll sing and praise Jesus’ name
With eternal everlasting joy
Marching down life’s highway, my feet became very sore
I then came upon a sign that read “Heaven’s Grocery Store”
When I got closer the doors swung open wide
Next thing I knew I was standing there inside
I saw a flock of angels positioned everywhere
They handed me a basket and said, “Child shop with care.”
Everything a human required was in that grocery store
With many commodities to carry, you could always come back for more
First I acquired some Patience; Love was in that same row
Further down was Understanding, you require that everywhere you go
I grabbed a box of Wisdom and Faith, a bag or two
And obtained Charity of course but more than just a few
And then reached for Courage to help me run this wicked race
My basket was almost full but remembered some loving Grace
I then chose Salvation for it was advertised as free
I tried to collect enough of that for both you and me
Then I started to the counter to pay my grocery bill
For I thought I had everything to do the Master’s will
As I went up the aisle, I saw Prayer and proceeded put that in
For I knew when I stepped outside I was bound to encounter sin
Peace and Joy were plentiful, the last thing on that shelf
Song and Praise were hanging near so I just helped myself
Then I asked an angel, “Now how much do I owe?”
She smiled and said, “Just take them wherever you may go.”
Again I asked, “No really, how much do I owe?”
“My child,” she said, “God paid your bill a long time ago.”
Many voices from the past,
Always echoing in my head,
How long can it last,
I thought you were dead.
You always tell me what to do,
So I don't make a mistake,
Somehow you always knew,
How many I could make.
Because once I hurt you,
And you'll never let me forget,
But what can I do,
You're not quite dead yet.
Why won't you leave me alone,
Will you never forgive me,
I wish I could atone,
Please, just let me be.
The hollow echo of your voice,
Will linger on forever,
You've given me no choice,
It'll never stop, ever.
The sound of you used to make me smile,
But now it tortures me,
I will always be in denial,
So an end I'll never see.
Hatred is a smoldering fire
That burns beyond control.
An insidious, lethal poison
That will slowly kill the soul.
Forgiveness is the antidote
For hatred's deadly sting.
It's a bitter pill to swallow,
But a precious, healing thing.
Hatred's part of Satan's plan,
Designed to bring us misery.
Forgiveness is a gift from God,
Sent to cleanse and set us free.
Remorse, he knocked at man's front door,
a proud and somber beggar
and asked if he could speak to us
of hatefulness and guile.
"What say you, Sir?" We asked Remorse
with curious concern.
"I've come to bend the hearts of man
and promise soon that I'll
wage war against your ancient foes;
Indifference and Disdain
to bring you back to empathy
and fellowship and kind.
Against the ghosts, he fought but lost;
accursed the useless war.
The fallen warrior was dead!
Then on his corpse - we dined,
but sinful gluttony soon left
the taste of bitter shame,
and we began to realize then
Remorse and all he gave.
His broken spirit once suppressed
has stirred in human kind.
Now all that we can do for him
is weep upon his grave.
Backwards became forward
Up became down
What I thought was square
Turned out to be round
Some who I thought loved me
Turned out to be foes
Twelve dozen roses
Not absorbed by one nose
I could see in the dark
Became blinded by light
When I should be afraid
I was feeling alright
A topsy turvy world
Never knowing what to expect
Even when I had earned it
I couldn't seem to find respect
I climbed many ladders
Slid down my share of snakes
Learned more by losing
Lived with my mistakes
The top was the bottom
My ideas flipped around
Transformed by heaven
Prostate on the ground
With my head bowed low
My heart became clear
What seemed a great distance
Was actually quite near
For within my smallness
I discovered what was vast
The future had been written
By the Author of my past
Things I counted as sorrow
Revealed to me my joy
I could not become a man
Without living as a boy
My end will be my beginning
When I am raised from the earth
What some will consider death
Will turn out to be my birth
For I have been forgiven
Without paying any cost
Thankfuly my Savior found me
Long before I knew I was lost
That night within the garden lost,
How many tears were spent
In search of love at any cost?
How many hearts were rent?
Sin for a sin the coins were tossed!
How many lusts were vent
To quench the unrelented--mossed?
How many paid a cent?
In destination's final dross,
How many souls repent--
Escaping payment with The Cross?
How many knew Him sent?
I have learned the hard way that people aren't always what they seem,
They look you in the eye, shake your hand, then take you to the cleaners.
It's been many a year that I have thought on this theme,
Ever since I was one of those who got caught by these schemers.
It would not be so bad if we could just open our eyes to see,
That they have no ones interest in anything but their own.
Perhaps that is the way it was and always will be,
At least until we have had that experience in our lives sown.
It is difficult to learn to trust anyone who comes to you,
Since you now look at everyone with a skepticism and mistrust.
But, there is one hope in all of this to take away that jaded view,
A hope that has always lain before us in the dust.
It was preached to us in many a form and style,
The Bible, Koran, other great works of religious zeal.
We have had the words written down for quite a while,
Yet, I wonder if those of us who read them really feel.
The great commandment to love God with your whole being,
Has been a message that comes through the ages.
And to love one's neighbor as you do yourself has more meaning,
Only if we try...for this is the yardstick by which the Lord gauges.
As for those who take advantage of others who cannot see,
I feel sorrow for them...for they have lost touch with life.
They may have great wealth, or possessions, or think they're happy,
But the Lord will meet out His justice to them for causing others strife.
As for me, it seems I have been on a long journey and I'm tired,
Tired of watching these villains prey and profit on the ones with naivete and weakness.
Preying on the young, the old, the sick, and those who aspired...
I was once a victim, but have now can only offer forgiveness.
It has taken a long time for me to reach this end,
As I once was so consumed by the sting of the hurt and anger.
On reflection, the only one who was hurt by my not wanting to mend,
Was me...my loved ones...my family...places where I no longer linger.
I write this now because it seems a necessity for me,
To express my feeling and thoughts on a life that was truly dead.
And to you who read this I have but one plea,
Say a silent prayer for my forgiveness from the Lord, when you bow your head.
grant me grace
this ghost of faith
burn the edge
of my desire
numb the burn
red of fire
my dullest friend
let me wake
and sleep again
blur my fate
bring me low
dream no more
search not of
look not for
dreams will float
a lake of sin
oh life unsure
a quiet cure
yes I thought
more in youth
now a lie
your will is mine
space of time
bring me forth
If reading this disturbs you
you're not the only one.
You are probably being reminded
of something you have done.
I am your painful reminder
that no one will forget.
I will always speak my mind.
I am not finished yet.
The pain you feel is nothing
compared to what you've done.
Don't worry, I know you're reading this
(and you're not the only one.)
My heart is on Your shoulders,
And You are lifting me up.
With every spoken tender gesture,
I fall a little farther in love.
Love in His name.
Saved by grace;
I have some choices to face,
But these are not my decisions to make.
God told me what He wants me to do;
He said, "Listen, Son, I have a plan for you."
Follow your dreams and follow your heart;
God has shown you the path to start.
Never give up and always have faith;
Do what you love and enjoy this place!
I have fallen victim so many times
To nobody's fault except only mine.
I will ask for forgiveness and have faith,
Even though I feel like I am not saved.
It's not the same without you;
The days are rainy and the nights are blue.
My heart is crying and God is too,
But we are smiling, waiting here for you.
Run, run, run and give it all up!
Into His arms, commend your love!
Through Him, you are saved!
What a beautiful, glorious day!
Lord, I do not know what to do;
Please, lead me by Your side.
Decisions I'm facing are lost and through;
Please, lead me to do what's right.
I remember it now
Not all, but enough
To understand how
I am afraid to accept love
Because some love hurts
Especially the kind you gave
The kind nobody deserves
The kind that plants the seed of hate
It matters little if you feel remorse
Your guilt could never ease my pain
The damage you did cannot be reversed
I still wear the residue of shame
And you will never have my forgiveness
My hatred will be your only companion
As you lie upon your deathbed
Feeling frightened and abandoned
You still won't even have my pity
Pathetic as you are
All you will ever be is what you did to me
As I will always bear these ugly scars
It's so hard to move forward
Holding onto what is gone
I fail to see the sun rise
When I'm thinking of the dawn
There are words that I have spoken
That I wish could be reversed
Within the halls of memories
I choose to live among the cursed
Apologies not accepted
I mourn the friendships I have lost
The more that I commiserate
My soul is forced to pay the cost
So instead I'll choose forgiveness
I was never meant for this place
As I look towards my Savior
He removes all sadness every trace
It's like a weight lifted off of my heart;
I am no longer torn apart.
Thank God you are safe;
Everything is okay.
In our complicated lives,
some will win and all will die.
Joy and pain, our common threads,
laughter comes and tears we cry.
At these crossroads, I have endured
sorrow and pain through darkest days.
Shadows smothered sleepless nights.
My sunny skies turned shades of gray.
I could suffer in self-pity,
not forgive and hide my smile.
I could act out the loser's role
and let the darkness stay awhile.
I choose to win and overcome,
yet clouds sometimes blow in again.
I just can't win, my heart cries out.
Then my soul cries, yes you can.
By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders
for I Just Can't Win contest (Joe Flach)
I came back to tell you I love you so
I was appalled. Is it mine, this baby?
You broke my heart you said who knows? Maybe
How could you treat me thus? I’ll never know.
I had no choice. You were at war, away
You could be killed and might not come again
If you do, Only God knows if and when
I was so alone and yes I did stray
I could not help myself. I needed you
I could not bear it. I was so lonely
But you, I really I loved so truly
Despite my stray Oh God and I still do
You see I knew an awful lot of chaps
Without you I had to find some comfort
One of them, Oh dear he was so expert
You ask me is this baby yours? Perhaps
Just a sequence, another one nightstand
Can you forgive me please? I could have lied
To be true to you well I really tried
I know I’m wrong but can’t you understand
I raised my hand to strike, I in distress
But no I could not harm you, even you
Because I never stopped loving you
And why should I kill? The child is guiltless
You had no choice. I was at war, away
I could be killed and might not come again
If I did, Only God knows if and when
You were so alone and yes you did stray.
I shall forgive, not as as cold as ice
You say it might be mine but are you wrong?
I want to trust you well but is it on?
So many men, you’ve strayed not once but twice.
Words spoken in silence,
[When language does not suffice]
Like a look or a tear, although concise
Can echo a lifetime in your ear,
Much louder than those you can hear.
Free will and choice, we think we know,
the high road calls our name.
But man's destruction arises low
in a part we just can't tame.
And evil's there, in quiet repose,
we rap it's hollow door.
And here we sit for what we chose
as they tally the final score.
Of all the battles we fought within,
none matter but the last.
An epic struggle set to begin
from which our destiny is cast.
In the afterlife of death's staid pale,
too late to take a stand,
will eternity be in heaven or hell?
We must await the upper hand.
Covetousness or Greed begets
In our souls unkindness
And want of Charity or Love
We said goodbye two years ago today -
I'll never forget the way I felt that day.
I couldn't breathe when the door closed between us
And your taillights dimmed as you drove away.
I never thought i'd breathe the same again,
As pain took away all my wind -
And i stood there deflated and broken
Refusing to accept the bitter end.
It happened on my best friend's wedding day.
I'll never understand why you did it that way -
I had visions of our wedding as I was standing there
But you ruined that for me and left my heart betrayed.
I never thought i'd get over it, not in a million years.
I cried what seemed a river's worh of tears.
I mourned for you like someone mourns the dead -
It was the realization of all my fears.
But once the salt left my wounds, I realized I was free,
Free from all the emotional torture you gave me.
Free from wondering where you were -
Free from the fragile little girl you made me be.
And I never looked back once you were gone.
I learned how hurt can make you strong,
I learned what a real man should be.
And with that, my old dear lover, so long.