If I forget you, would you remember me?
If I still love you, would you still love me?
If I fall when old, would you lift me up?
If I sleep, would you sleep by me?
If I run away, would you follow me?
But If I stay, would you stay with me?
If I see you, would you recognize me?
I know you would Not.
That is why, I wish I would whisper
And not hear myself.
I wish I could cry
not feel my tears
nor feel my fears.
Tonight, my final Farewell.
24 August 2014
Tell me why, but tell me True-
Spare me the heartbreak of a Lie
I would lay forever in these meadows...
Forever, until I die!
To rid myself of all the Pain,
And the Sorrows of what I feel
To ease my Mind, my worried Brain
(Lord! The Cuts! I need to heal)
*Referring to my problems with "Borderline Personality Disorder"; many of us are "cutters"
Love is a Lie by Poets contrived,
Since Dawn of Speech, and birth of Cry
The Will to Live- to take or give-
Oh, please, God! Just tell me why!
Of all the things I do deplore:
It is my Pain I most adore
With Danger flirt while courting Hurt-
But I keep going back for more!
I am Old yet barely grown-
(The truest Truth I've ever known!)
I cannot help- shan't save myself-
For Hearts hath Minds of their own...
I entered this piece in the "Love and Loss" contest which was judged on 1-25-14. I posted this poem to The Soup on Nov. 20th of 2013. It's one of my favorite pieces so I was disappointed not to place. Hope you enjoy, Nette :)
(In memory of those lost in Newtown, CT)
We may not know the answers to all the questions asked
We cannot control how great the pain or how long it will last.
Nothing we can do will erase the pain you bear
But we cannot remain silent as if we didn’t care.
The blood of precious children was shed this very day
And grieving families wonder when this pain will go away.
We know time will heal a multitude of wounds
But we also can be very sure it won’t be very soon.
Evil came to visit here and we all wonder why
The souls of friends and children were made to say good-bye
What happened here today we may not ever know
And haunting thoughts of loved ones will follow where we go.
You may be called to travel a higher road than we
But you cannot travel faster than our prayers that follow thee.
We know that we can never bear the grief that you go through
Just remember we are here – Our hearts are broken too.
Written by John Posey
The tears continued to bottle,
all the time I was with you.
the heart wrenching broken chains,
you kept putting me through.
The bottle continually grew,
salt infused tears dripping to the top.
As time went on
the bottle never went away.
It continued to sit there,
slowly dripping on the scars left
from the pain.
The salt burned my soul,
letting it hard to let go,
continuing to make the scars
never grow old.
As the bottle began to overflow
into my darkened soul,
I couldn't keep the tears in,
it shattered deep in my heart.
The tears poured across my skin,
causing the pain to grow and grow,
all I could do to get rid of it
was to embrace the pain I felt.
Let this fester to a new world in my mind;
let the anger from the disappointment grow.
As the moment snapped,
the time stood still for one moment's release.
Freedom now I feel!
The moment's consequences were worth it,
the bottle will never refill,
and forever cracked it will be.
My tears will never drop,
because you will never contact me!
Thank God that I have been set free!
I do not know?
we found eachother,
lost in pain that we both knew,
we loved eachother,
but the distance only grew,
i was here,
and you were there,
no word of conversation,
i still remember all those things you said,
they gave my heart a reincarnation,
you were my love,
my sweet vampire,
the wind that carried off my rain,
you whispered to me,
and i felt your arms,
as we kissed away our pain,
though we loved eachother,
we wrote together,
of love and pain and blood,
the distance only seemed to grow,
and then to tear us apart,
you found a girl,
it broke my heart,
i cried and accepted the inevitable,
you and i would always be apart,
there was nothing i could do about it,
i fell in love,
i didnt mean to,
but it was one of the best mistakes i could make,
i broke your heart,
and still i miss you,
but perhaps this was our fate,
i never wanted to forget to say,
that i love you and i always will,
i never wanted to forget to say,
im sorry, i wish we could have worked out,
perhaps if things were different,
and this land mass wasnt so large,
perhaps if we had held tighter,
and had a solid heart,
we found eachother,
and fell in love,
lost in a pain that we both shared,
my dearest Wind im sorry for this,
that our love, could only last here...
If only you could see the tears
In the world you left behind
You fill my days, my nights, my dreams
You’re all that’s on my mind
Your laugh I’ll never hear again
Your smile I’ll never see
Memories now are all I have
Since loneliness found me
Time was never on your side
Your short life had to end
Now I'm left in pain without
My love and my best friend
The sadness, the emptiness
The pain I have to face
Will never leave my life
For you’re a loss I can’t replace
Even though the rain will fall
And the sun will still shine on
My life will just exist
Because my whole world now is gone
You are an Angel high above now
Watching over me
But someday I know once again
Together we will be
For when my time on earth is done
You’ll come and take my hand
And guide us to eternal love
Together in God's land..
By Raina Hutchins
I’m in such a state of confusion,
I don’t understand what I’m doing
I know your there
And I know you care
But I can’t see you
I can’t hear you
I just don’t know what to do
I know your there in the stillness,
Waiting to heal this illness
There is a deep hole
A sickness in my soul,
Disease in the depths of my heart
But How to fix it
I wouldn't know where to start
How it came to be
Is a deep mystery to me
I know that I am broken
We all are in some way
But rarely are these things spoken
Rarely do I have the courage to say
The secrets kept within
The depths of my sin
But if I hide it how can it be healed
How can the healer heal?
If I keep my heart sealed
What if I let down my shield?
Will I be attacked or disgraced
Or will I be embraced
I’m too scared to find out
To be found out
So I hide my face
I only let people see part of me
I only let people get so close
I don’t want them to see
I don’t want them to know
And so I end up alone
I’ve been to the bar, the clubs,
All the social hubs
But no one cares about my hurts
Life’s all about chasing skirts,
Fancy cars and nice shirts
Or is there something beyond drunken nights, and flashing lights
Is there something really worth living for, an open door to something more?
An invitation to a new destination
A path to peace, a sweet release
A new life to claim, an escape from the shame
I believe there is, some days I forget
But my life isn’t over yet
Tomorrow is a new day
I can live life your way
With love and peace
With guilt and shame released
With a new heart
And a new start
A reason to live
And something to give
To this broken earth
Of invaluable worth
At my very core
I know I was born for more
Than to live and to die
Without knowing why
I don’t have it all figured out
But I know without a doubt
That the world needs love
And that love comes from above
Because human love is not enough
That is why there is a deep hole
And a sickness in my soul
But to me has been revealed
The way to be healed
Now I have a mission
A reason for existence
To bring healing to the earth
To the unloved, the broken, the rejected
And tell them what they are worth
So that Jesus’ love will be reflected
And this love will give birth
To many people being resurrected,
Redirected and completely accepted
To a wonderful and glorious rebirth
I’m Physically and Emotionally tired
I don’t want to be the strong one anymore
I can’t this time
I don’t know what to do Daddy
I need your help down here
I can’t get back in control of my emotions
I’m having a hard time dealing with your absence
I’m having a hard time standing by myself
I need your help Daddy
I’m broken and lost without you Daddy
I need your will to want to carry on
I need your strength to over come this
I need your strength to stay standing
Your courage to fight back again
I need your help
Please Daddy I’m at a loss
How am I suppose to do this
I need your guidance
I need you to guide me back
To whom I was before
I need your help Daddy
I need your help
I am the hypocritical Christian.
I say I follow Christ,
But I'm still consumed by my demons.
I go to church on Sunday,
But I refuse to invite someone back.
I want to serve on mission,
But I'm too afraid to act.
They think I read The Bible,
But I just fall asleep in it.
They think I'm positivity and smiles,
But underneath I'm death and addictions.
They think I'm clean and pure,
But I'm broken and mistaken.
I say I'm not worthy of His love,
But Jesus will never let me be forsaken.
I pray long prayers,
But inside they're empty repetition.
It might look as if my faith is strong,
But my core is too easily shaken.
I say the things I'm supposed to say,
But don't follow His actions or obey.
I speak the truth the church wants to hear,
But deep inside on matters I don't know what to believe.
I walk in shame as if I'm not good enough
To be loved by God and saved through Christ,
But there is nothing I could ever do to earn His peace;
It's a free gift.
Now forgiven, changed, and released.
Thank You God,
Thank You Jesus,
Thank You Holy Spirit!
In Jesus' Holy Name,