I do not know?
Teenage Girls clad in the latest fashions,
Do it whenever they meet,
Grown men aren't afraid to show some passion,
When their team's comeback is complete,
They can say hello, they can say goodbye,
And anything inbetween,
If you open your arms and crack a smile,
There is nothing that a hug cannot mean.
You almost had me,
I wanted you,
The way you stuck to me like super glue,
I was feeling you,
But I knew,
I could never have you,
But, the way you looked at me,
The way my body pleads,
We can never be,
Because I’m too old,
And your only thirteen.
I was just trying to remember the past
trying to remember the good people
and the bad people,
that i came across on my way,
i want you to know
that you are among the good people
that left a good trace in my life,
once again i just want to say thank you
for passing through my life,
is so short but is wonderful
i want you here forever.
Hey Mr. Editor,
It's not very often we hear true stories of enduring Love that grows with time. I can
hear the cynic groan as I write this, but it's a good human interest story and I
thought a good one for the coming of spring, a time of new birth and new beginings.
There is a couple who met while in school, years ago. After graduation they both
were seperated by thousands of miles; both got married to different people
sometime later and raised their young families. All this time their love remained
silent, waiting, yet strong. Today, their children are adults and about to venture on
their own lives. Reconnected once more, perhaps by fate, they have planned to wed
very soon. I was asked by the Bride-to-be, a dear friend, to write a poem on her
behalf which she would read to her Groom at their Wedding Ceremony. I was truly
honored and graciously obliged. It's titled,"My Beloved. Thank you for your
consideration of my request.
Today, I can not say that dreams do not sprout wings!
Nor will I ever accuse time of being an adversary
Not when I know that within its grasp lies our past, present and future
Today, my heart is full and overflowing with abundant joy!
Gazing into your beautiful soul, I glimpse love’s sparkling reflection
Streaming like a river, endless, into vast ocean tides
And I stand in awe of God’s everlasting love and providence
The sweetest portion of which we have come to taste!
For so long I have waited! How I have yearned for this moment
When I would pledge life and love to you; become one flesh, one heart!
One heart that will bleed no more as nothing can stand between us
I will lose myself in you and you in me forever!
No longer will dreams haunt our lonely nights
And I will not have to walk this side of Heaven without you
When I consider the paths which we have traveled
I marvel and smile, as now it is clear - they were leading us to, this day!
In the silence of a thousand nights my prayers to heaven took flight
And though seasons of yesterdays came only to fade away
Time, it seemed, had shelved my fervent plea
‘Til sweet destiny obliged, leading me to the one who holds my heart
My Beloved, my husband, my best friend, and companion,
Our love has arrived; our single journey begins today!
Written for John Heck's "Hey, Mr. Editor" Contest
*Very True Story!
My future shines like the rays of the sun
brings my inner power to the outside
and even though I just lost a battle
(a battle of ignorance, not stupidity)
it makes me happy to still be alive
and to understand the choices I have made
Change is at the door, challenging me
now that the time has come
and for myself and my dear family
(the ones I love very much)
I am taking the inevitable
of a better future I am capable
My future shines like stars in a clear night
dressing my wife, children and I
dressing my brother, parents, loved ones
(real family and friends)
in elegant clothes for the event of our lives
a graduation from the lessons learned
Responsible I am of my own mistakes
of my unlimited passion and blind pride
however there is something I can recognize
(because that is the final point)
I was not born knowing it all
therefore, in ignorance I was wrong
My future smiles at my present, offering ...
a new alternative, a new way in a new place
a place where all my children can play
(where we are finally going to stay)
surrounded by ideal conditions at home
where everything makes sense after all!
It seems that only yesterday we were planning your future and promises to be fulfilled in years to come...we started with a baby shower and gifts from everyone. We dreamed of a first birthday, a dream of your first graduation and first dance. A mother and fathers hopes of things yet to come. Now, here we are standing before God, asking him why has he taking our future of a child we had yet gotten to know, yet whom we had already loved. He, answered us with a fathers words of love..."They whom you have loved, yet have never known is never gone, a promise you long to fulfill is always yours to have...as long as you trust in me and know that I have never placed more upon you than your hearts can stand, know that I'm a God of purpose and planning...and all that which I promised will be delivered unto you if you just trust and believe in your hearts and know that my love for you, was formed before you were even placed in the womb. Nothing leaves or enters this world without my permission, sometimes with great anguish, but nothing leaves or enters without a purpose." Keep planning for the future with an unbending love!
Sometimes I sit all alone,and remember all the promises we made together,than I see them fade away in the wind,kind like the petals of a flower, were feelings over come my fear,than I remember you had me on a spell,you deserve a round of applause,you had me fool, you always was embarrass of me,according to you I was the clown,were all the tears you gave me,were behind the jokes i made,and the smile I kept from fallen down,you deserve a round of applause,what's your next trick?,try to break my heart,or better yet,lie to me, make me fall back to your arms, what's the matter cat got your tongue,that's not suppost to happen to you, your like the best when it comes to magic, you once told me I was your light,trust me not the light of the dance floor,more like that old abandon light bulb in your closet door, you deserve a round of applause,you had me fool,I could swarn,that trick was real,you gave me so much to think about,and tears to deal, what's your next trick? Run away with someone else and forget about me? Do me a favor and erase my mind,and blind my eyes with more lies, you can't miss ,it works every time, for your last final trick, steal the show with your screams and hits,this time I'll know,I'm not to blame,you can hand cuff me,and rip my heart once again,don't you worry is just a stage,sometimes I sit here all alone as I turn the page,the rip pages of our love story,I finally came to the end,did you know she didn't love him cuz he wasn't cool,oh wow! you deserve a round of applause you had me fool.
I got the text
Said you wanted to be more than friends
Sent at around 10:30 p.m
My heart soared and I knew
I wanted you right then
One month passed
It went by so fast
As your graduation yearns forward
I treasure my time with you
Every kiss counts
Every word lasts forever
Lingering in your ears
Every touch is more than what it seems.
Today is your last day here at school with me
June 1st, 2012
The letter and gifts and the love keeps us together
As we talk I remember every word you say
This is not goodbye
Because we are meant to last forever
For my amazing boyfriend who I love very much <3
An earthly existence
A universe beyond my minds, comprehension
Life lessons reviewed
I am not lost, after all!
I am a willing participant
Serving, the Father, of all creation
His son combined, ‘producing life’ as we know it
Representing them, in everything I do
I am nothing, without Love!
My heart full of faith, loyal service I give
Learning how to unconditionally serve, as the Father unconditionally, loves me
Worshipping our Divine Creator’s existence
Choosing to live, moment to moment
Being as one with ‘Our Universal Father’
No physical permanency
My physicality, disappearing
My mortality existence, I let go of
My spirit alive!
‘I am only passing through!’
A unique, experience of mortality
A gift, I am blessed to experience, to live!
I do not know?
A mother’s loving look at her newborn child,
Never able to relive that moment again.
For it’s the last time forever.
Walking into kindergarten for the first time,
Feeling so alone and afraid, don’t fear
For it’s the last time forever.
Kneeling in prayer as you are born again,
Living as a sinner no longer,
For it’s the last time forever.
Walking across stage on graduation night,
Nervous because it’s your last few steps as a “child”,
For it’s the last time forever.
Praying to God to help you jump the hurdles,
Seeing prayers being answered, never doubt
For it’s NOT the last time forever.
Force feed me the taste of your skin
‘You will have to break my chastity belt wide open now
for I have sold myself into silent slavery to this ….our universal broken heart
even you will have to try hard……to save me now
I cannot recall your sounds…your hand motions
as they devoured the subtle softness of me
drew round my curvaceous places in curling ownership
intimacies’ sweetest embrace
But too…you move to me
with a ferocity that mowed the grass down to a short golf course length
from the living room table where you drew it happening… a hundred years ago
The length of your hair too has been a subject of much debate
that surging heavenly song...that told our story so well
like that movie from long ago about the girl who cut off and sold her hair to buy her love a golden watch fob and chain …the one who sold his golden watch to buy her a beautiful clip pin for her gorgeous long hair
………………………………..you see how this goes …with true love
We cut off our noses and then turn backs on our faces
and on each other on Facebook
Itself the enemy…where only devils and the luckiest of angels spread
Tread on me beloved!
till I am awakened
to our lips
which just now in writing I suddenly can feel meeting again
the salted brine of your pure water and sometimes beer soaked self
Is it me you feared
as you said Good bye?
How little you know me
like the formation of the first ever green tree grows up one limb at a time
from a base long song of deep roots and strong center...so beautiful the Hosts stagger before its creation ….Halleluiah
The limbs sprouting forth like the wings bursting out of the flesh of the first angel
who died in agony as they were formed….exploding from his shoulders
moving her hair aside as the arch of wing thrust like white tree limb from the goodness within
and the reincarnation of true kindness was born to the conscious of itself
so my love knows no limit
my soul no separation
and my being no longing
I’ve watched you for so long and from so far away
I never meant to leave you i wanted to stay
But the choice wasn’t mine and i had to go
I’ve watched over the years our family grow and grow
Our sons first day at school i watched with such pride
I saw the tears that you shed that you could not hide
I saw it all from so far away
Never missing a moment never missing a day
Our daughter’s graduation i watched out of view
And as the years passed by i never stopped loving you
For I’ve never moved on I’ve stayed frozen in time
I’ve watched you grow older more lovely still mine
But don’t feel lonely because every single day
I’ve been beside you just a heartbeat away
Our children are grown up now with their own family ties
I know you still grieve me my love i hear your solitary cries
I go back to the day you holding me crying
As i lay in your arms my life ebbing away-dying
But fear not love for your time grows near
Hold back your tears and hold back your fear
For we shall soon be once again together
Bathed in gods golden light forever and ever
Yet never did he waver from the path he had chose
Lyla was his sun, his moon, and his desert rose
Not even the temptations he met throughout those years
Those sweet little whispers did fall on deaf ears
Not a friend from class who had too much to drink
Not the pretty sorority girl who told him not to think
Not even the beauty who desired him more than most
Could get Ryan Adams to abandon his mighty oaths
Oft they spent evenings studying late into the morn
Ryan ever cheering her when her heart was sad or worn
Thankful she was but love was not on her mind
Yet she could not tell him for she was too kind
His promise he fulfilled at every opportunity
His efforts ever resilient in the face of adversity
Until the time came when they would soon part
With graduation looming, my comrade bared his heart
With every shred of skill and guts he did possess
He painted a masterpiece of her in a summer dress
The colors swirling dangerous wild full of love and life
Made his mural of memories shine while rife
With gushing emotions and agony and love
Like a torrential downpour of passion from above
And so he appeared a right mess when he poured out
To the lovely Ms. Dawson how he felt without a doubt
Speechless and stunned was the subject of his art
Unsure of how to respond without harming his heart
She was a gentle woman with great capacity to care
But friendship was all she wished of the man standing there
Troubled and worried the young woman carefully spoke
Knowing all too well his heart would likely be broke
With baited breath and a face drenched with sweat
Ryan Adams heard his love say with much regret
“You are a good man of that I am sure.
But time I think will be the cure
For this love you feel, for I am not the one
To love you in return and be your sun.
Friends we will remain for always I assure you
You have been one of my best since I met you, it’s true
Who else would be so selfless to lend me aid
Whenever I need you for the mistakes I have made”
The angelic Lyla had been as kind as she could
But regardless of her words the effect would be no good
For Ryan Adams would crumble in the wake of devastation
Heart shattered into pieces at Lyla’s declaration
It was his turn to fall, without speaking, to the ground
Desiring a pool of tears in which to be drowned
She reached out to hold him but her touch singed his flesh
No longer, his eyes screamed, will our friendship mesh
I do not know?
I Cried Today
I am thirteen today
You would think I would be happy
Yet it is hard to even crack a smile
With everyone wishing me a Happy Birthday
To me it’s not that happy
As today strange voices carrying on inside me
They say I don’t deserve to live
They say I should die
I am thirteen and
I Cried Today
My sweet sixteen isn’t so sweet
I just want to hide
Go back to sleep
Or simply disappear
What is a girl to do?
When she feels so sad, lonely and depressed
I don’t even have anyone to turn to
I am sixteen and
I Cried Today
Today I am nineteen
It is my graduation day
And while I am smiling on the outside
I feel like I am crumbling on the inside
Those voices don’t give
Never a break
No rest for the wicked they say
I am nineteen and
Today I Cried
I am twenty-one
No drinking for me
I am in a hospital as my first sip was almost my last
Who knew I could be so allergic
I am twenty-one
In a hospital and
I Cried Today
I am twenty-five
I thought I was in love
Until I walked in on my fiancé
In bed with my best friend
My heart feels so cold
I am so alone
As my world has just turned upside down
I am twenty-five and
I Cried Today
I am thirty
I am working hard
To get back my life
Take control of my future
And actually see the possibilities of a tomorrow
It is a lot of work
With a hard road ahead
I am Thirty
I Never Cried Today
I am thirty-four
In a few short months I will be thirty-five
I am not alone
I realize I never was
Surrounded by people I love
People who love me
Married to the love of my life
My dreams are coming true
I feel so happy
I am almost thirty-five and
I Smiled Today
By: Jean Shular
I do not know?
My reply, simply as most truly was, this: I'd love more the thought of her swirling ?
Crashing tides swallowing their gangrene's, wretched breath in time; gragonia-beilaile.
As little John went out to play
On a warm, beautiful, and sunny day
He heard his mother to him say
"I love you, my little John."
And then quite tall her Johnny grew
His graduation cap he threw
She said "My son, I say adieu,
and I love you, my little John."
He visited her in the town of St. Beth
Around her wrapped the arms of death
She uttered with her final breath
"I love you, my little John..."
I heard an angel speak last night and he said "write"
With lantern light weary I write this morbid night
The moon above the meadows move in gloomy mist
With pen in hand, hermit a man and death amidst
Oh shall I walk the aisles of graves and hundred names
With flowers full of life financed on furnished frames
Below the wind and warmth of night do whispers woe
In fear I'm not for I care take of those below
For I have seen many a man and woman cry
And I have seen many a man and woman lie
Distilled in death with only breath of the beloved
Mourning above...mornings above heavenly loved
But something is a happening around the night
If not a dream how dost darkness so quicketh light
How frogs appear around lilies that left the fog
Where branches dance with trees beyond their childrens log
As ponds appear upon plateau of grave and sand
And stars above nomadic night come down to land
And voices of the birds play like a violin
And whispers of the wind hum like a hundred men!
It is at this moment that wings appeared to be
Uplifted from the back of her in front of me
Dear Angel, ye are he that spoketh write of thee
But in the nude in front of me am I to flee?
With hair in waves and arms extended out to see
Appeared to me...appeared to be...a flame of sea
That swept the cemeteries floor with torch and fire
And all in death consumeth life 'twas her aspire
A paradise on earth and wedding full of life
As they I have buried myself were full of light!
Women and men and children spread
A graduation of the dead
Ceremonious gift of beings
Thy conquered death, thy wearest wings!
Forth in her hands were flowers of a thousand-fold
And when she walked her footsteps formed a flood of gold
With every step a flower from her drew to ground
In mystic motion as she moved her wings would sound
Just like a brush of wind, angelic crystal wings
Face of fertility that wore a crown of rings
Unselfish all in all with fingernails of fire
Did pierce my heart into my soul a strong desire
To learn to love and love to live and live to give
Yes even in the dire darkness something lives
Believe me not and no one shall when I doth tell
The timid night I heard an Angel's voice exhale
Oh Angel it is thy that is in sacred stone
That came to me in flesh and now thy flesh is gone
June 17, 2011
Angels In Cemeteries
People say it's too late for us...
As we get of life's bus,
And travel our separate directions;
But our sparks are disguised as explosions.
All we want is to love but time interferes,
And distance serves as loves boundaries...
It is said love come slow...
And we little time before we go.
If it is to be love will prevail,
But regret will make us fail.
I wish I could tell you but I know not how.
If only you would read this here and now...
I have no life. My social status had been destroyed after high school graduation and I've
been depressed since the age of 13. All of my friends have left my life for good. I'm
trying to cope, or better yet, deal with these changes, but I just have mixed feelings
about them. I have no life because I've wasted my time thinking about the past, instead of
looking at the future. Over the years, I've experienced heartbreak, after heartbreak,
after heartbreak. When all of the girls of my dreams have been taken by other guys before
I had a chance to talk to them, I almost lost it. And when I found out that girls my age
had real boyfriends already and/or already married to their husbands with children, I
almost flipped and I cried; like, sobbing; in tears. It's like somebody has stolen someone special from me.
It's also like I matter to no one. And on top of all that, it's like someone took a
butcher knife out of the kitchen, stabbed me right in the abdomen, plunged another butcher
knife right into my chest, and ripped---nay---yanked my heart out; killing me in an
instant. This type of rejection is sad, depressing, and it breaks my heart just thinking
about it. I wish I could go back in time and change everything, but I can't do that.
There's nothing that I can do to change the past; it's already done. This isn't what I had
in mind. Right now, I wish that things were better if I hadn't been rejected one to many
times and I were to walk into someone else's shoes.
Yeh labj nahi dil ka ehsas hai
Tu dhadkan se b jyda dil k
Tumein chahna mere bAs mei
Tu chalti hui meri sans hai
Tumein mohabbat kernA meri
adat ban gayea
Tu harpal mere pass hai
Dard hai khafa b hu per firbi
tere labjo ki pyass hai
Mai kerti hu mohabbat
harpal tumein tuhi meri har
tumse jindagi roshan lage
tuhi mera raaton ka chand hain
yeh dunia kya samjhegi meri chahant ka nasha
didar tera he meri har sharab hain
yeh labaj nahi dil ka ehsas hain
Today I Have to Tell You
How Very Proud I Am
Remember How it Used to Be
How You Hit the Big "Grand Slam?"
Then You Went out on Your Own
And Set the World on Fire
You Beat the Odds and Won
It Was Your Hearts Desire
Oh to See You Fight
When Things Got in Your Way
I Really Couldn't Ask for More
But There's Something I must Say
Forever I Shall Love You
I Love You like No Other
I Hope You'll Always Need Me
Because I Am Your Mother
We livin in a world today,
Where its streets over home
Heartaches where pain rome…
Its guns before goodies,
Babies before books…
Boys before brothers,
& family below lovers…
Its sex without rubbers,
More baby showers than graduation parties
And more funerals than weddings…
We’re blinded by lust,
And trapped without trust…
We’re living in a world today,
Where everybody falls a victim to the street..
A bullet is the only thing they seem to meet;
Everybody’s a follower,
But nobody leads!
We’re living in a world today,
Where only parents read..
The obituary is one thing they probably
Aren’t too happy to view..
But the kids who listen:
Its only a few.
It’s more obituaries than honor rolls
And this is what we live in…
Upon the day when I was new
You held me at your breast,
And from that day love did accrue
For both I do attest.
You brought me to a place unknown
With slates of painted wood,
Where cheerful circus themes were flown
Above my neighborhood.
We seemed to nest for hours
At night in satin blanket trim,
My curious nature flowered
While yours eyes grew tired and dim.
The bears and clowns did entertain
Those few and fleeting days,
Until my innocent domain
Had overstayed its phase.
For soon the crawling was replaced
With awkward stepping feet,
A challenge you had bravely faced
Without fear of defeat.
Sweet infancy was soon eclipsed
By toddler nonchalance,
For “I can’t like it” pursed my lips
With every smug response.
You bore the brunt of childish acts
With ever loving ease,
Till school time called for pink backpacks
And alphabet expertise.
Soon Girl Scouts meetings filled your time
And clarinet your ears,
For you would plunk down every dime
To see me enjoy those years.
But then the teenage years ensued
When self-esteem is low,
You lifted me from anxious moods
When I had reached plateau.
Our arguments were common then
I thought myself all knowing,
While you’d repeat to me often
That I still had some growing.
We made it through till high school’s end
When college had arrived,
You made sure that I would attend
And my obstacles survived.
Through crying phone calls in the night
And stressful social scenes,
You’d hug me with unyielding might;
Upon you I could lean.
When graduation finally came
You looked so proud and calm,
“I made it through!” I did proclaim,
You knew it all along.
I am grown and on my own,
With life ahead of me,
But through this piece I hope I’ve shown
Just what you mean to me.
For all the memories in the past
My best friend you remain,
And all the troubles we’ve surpassed
Have not all been in vain.
For through these times I have found
An idol strong and true,
And may I say, loud and profound,
My idol, Mom, is you.
Preface: A poem written to my youngest step-son, whom along with his brother, I raised and
consider my very own sons. I presented this to him on his graduation from college.
Flesh & Blood
One cold and snowy winter day,
a man met two young brothers.
Man fell in love with both those boys,
man then fell for their mother.
A silent promise whispered,
vowed to love both as his own,
man set sail just like Columbus,
to places foreign and unknown.
Man worked on science projects,
and he helped with book reports,
he took the boys for haircuts,
and signed them up for sports.
For boyhood rites of passage,
man gave Swiss-Army knives,
boys carved away some hours
of the best days of their lives.
Man sent the boys to private schools,
because he knew it would be best,
especially for the oldest boy,
who wasn’t the least bit studious.
The younger boy more scholarly,
never swayed by fad or crowd,
both schoolboys very different,
both made man very proud.
Man seldom missed the brother’s games
for he was their proudest fan,
but concealed amongst the hockey bags,
was the gift they gave the man.
Being important to a child
was worth more than a priceless Monet,
being dependable as dark skies each night
and high tide every day.
Like a ship that lost it’s mooring,
man lost track of where he’d been,
but was saved from likely wreckage,
by the gift they gave to him.
The boys made the man responsible,
and the surprising reality,
is what brings out the worst in some men,
brought the best man out of me.
Of my flesh, you may not be,
you may not share my blood,
but deep inside my heart and soul,
burns a father’s sacred love.
Winning a million dollars,
would dwarf in comparison,
to the treasures you’ve bestowed on me
since you became my son.
c Copyright 2006
She stood there smiling
as I walked the line,
The day had finally come
it is my graduation time.
She stood there crying
as I lay in the bed,
Happy as can be she said
"I can see her head!"
She stood there crying
with a broken heart,
After Katrina quickly
tore our lives apart.
My mom is not only
a mom as you can see,
She is so much more for
she is a BEST FRIEND to me.
For this I know is
her love has no lack,
I would do anything for her;
even walk from hell and back.
and graduation mayhem turned to
tears and depression after
fight with high school steady.
The memory of prom date from hell
will hopefully disappear.
The elaborate hairdo was
furiously brushed out,
and the uncomfortable formal
packed away in the attic to be
given to charity next year.
The sweet whispers of love and
the notes passed in study hall
behind the back of old Mrs. Jenkins,
the talk of a wedding the following summer,
became heartbreaking memories
when Tiffany Blake came to town.
I do not know?
Every mile I walk, you walk with me
When ever I feel pain, that’s where you will be
What ever I achieve is through your support
Everything I know is what you taught
The day I graduated my love grew
I only succeeded because of you
The second time round you have me that lift
That graduation day was a gift
What ever you do toy do it for me
What ever I do I do it for we.
Will you be here while they're little
to sooth their childish fears?
Here with Love and wisdom
to enrich their growing years?
Can they come to you with Problems,
will you help them work it out?
Who will help me teach them
What life is all about?
Who will show the pride and joy
on their Graduation Day?
Who will bless her marriage
and give the bride away?
It seems that you have always Played
the most important part,
In all the Happy moments
I hold with-in my heart.
And Now I have three little ones
to climb upon my knee.
They ask me very gravely,
"Where can our Daddy Be?"
I wish, sometimes, that you were here
to sooth their childish fears.
And use your Love and wisdom
To bless their growing years!
I do not know?
Take me away, show me a place that's fit for a queen and then maybe ill stay. Lost in
your world, I can feel the pages turning am I under oath because I want you to know that
I would never lie to you. just let me in and I will feel safe locked up in your numbers
constantly rising. Maybe I could pretend and never have to love again if only you would
let the pleasure stay then maybe I would ignore boys forever. No hurting no pain just the
smooth feeling of other people's writing. My secret tree house, my own party and i'm
excited I don't need real friends. When i'm around you it's just you and me making magic.
I never have to feel afraid, I feel what you feel. I just let my memories fade. It's when
I reach the end and shut the book that I finally realize that i'm lonely. I'd do anything
to get the key back into your world. A tear drops down as I say goodbye like " graduation
day" another friend that I have to put on a shelf and never visit again. If we shall meet
in another life time I'll laugh, ill smile, and I will fall in love once again with the
memories of the pages and creases I left in them.
father you are,
As if you left me
trapped in a glass jar.
Not much space to
see what i please,
Lord please cure me
from this sicking disease.
Disease of hurt and pain,
As deceitful thoughts of you
float through the brain.
Days you missed
i cant forget,
Left out in the rain
all cold and wet.
how could you,
No excuses yet
I'm not through.
A card, balloons,
you showing up,
Would have over
turned my cup.
What going on
Why is it that i
Have to be abused?
I don't know what to say
Cause these things bother,
The thoughts of you
and unforgettable father.
I do not know?
From the beginning I knew what was at stake,
But it was a chance I had to take.
He walked out because I refused to do the treatments like we talked about.
He couldn’t stand to hang around and watch me slowly grow profound.
The doctors told me to choose
But you I couldn’t lose.
You were growing inside
Till the day I died.
He’s not to blame.
So many men would do the same.
Holding this tiny duplicate of me in my arms,
I just wanted be around to keep you safe form harm.
I wouldn’t have traded the last three hours of this.
So this is what love is!
I’m fading fast!
I knew this moment would not last.
The doctors say I won’t make it through the night.
I’m writing you this letter and counting down till everything fades out of sight.
I cradle this miracle knowing I chose to go.
The only regret is that I won’t be around to watch you grow.
It was not your fault and beyond our control.
I won’t get to hear you first word,
Watch you first step,
Be with you on your first of school.
Or graduation day,
And “ I love you mom” I’ll never hear you say,
But that’s a price I chose to pay.
You seem so bright you almost shine.
You are the only legacy I leave behind.
I hear you heart beat,
Nothing has ever sounded so sweet.
I want you to have what I didn’t like a childhood of your own,
At a young age I was already grown.
Now I have you to show for it
And that’s all I need to know.
I have never loved like this before
I wish I could give you more.
It’s the only gift I can give you.
I’ll always be with you, step-by-step, day-by-day.
Be all you can be.
You are the best part of me.
The people who will raise you are good and filled with love.
One day I shall see you above
But for now your life has just begun.
No love can compare to mother and her son.