I was just trying to remember the past
trying to remember the good people
and the bad people,
that i came across on my way,
i want you to know
that you are among the good people
that left a good trace in my life,
once again i just want to say thank you
for passing through my life,
is so short but is wonderful
i want you here forever.
I was a seventeen year old senior in a coed, catholic high school. Our gym classes however were still all boys and all girls. My senior year we had gym every other day and music every other day in the same time slot. The music classes, therefore, were also all boys or all girls.
She was a twenty-eight year old nun in her first teaching assignment. She was in way over her head. She was about five-foot-four and weighed practically nothing. The nuns in our school no longer wore habits and I remember thinking it was a good thing because she would probably fly away like Sally Fields. If you don’t know what I mean by that then you are too young to be reading my story.
The music class was a mad house. She could not control a room of twenty some boys bound and determined to make her life hell. I mean, music class? Really?
We never did the homework assigned; never answered her questions seriously; never believed her threats at discipline; wouldn’t accept the demerits she tried to hand out; and basically goofed off for the hour that was supposed to be dedicated to learning about music.
For some reason, she seemed too proud or too green or too determined to go to the principal or another teacher for help; and, sensing that, we knew we could get away with our childish behavior and so we did.
One day, a handful of us “got in trouble” and she said she wanted to talk to us after class. I was the only one that actually stayed. She tried to lecture me on my bad behavior but I guess my smirk was evidence it was not sinking in. Then, she started to cry, and for the first time I saw her as a person.
“What am I doing,” she cried. "I can’t do this. I am trying; I am really trying, but I am not cut out for this. Why are you boys so mean and hateful?”
I stood up in front of her not knowing what to do or what to say. I felt like a real jerk. I was a real jerk.
Tears poured down her face, which I finally recognized as being a pretty face. She bowed her head and just sobbed. In my awkward seventeen year old manner, I slowly opened my arms and allowed her to lean into me. And I hugged her while she wept.
At seventeen, I was no ladies’ man, and this crying nun was the first woman I had ever held so close to me. I could feel her breasts pressed against me; the heat emitting from her body; and, the delicate nature of her womanly form in my arms. I knew then that I was destined to go straight to hell for the thoughts that were going through my head and the feelings I felt between my legs.
She pulled away and whispered, “I am so sorry, I should not have done that. You may go.”
I simply said, “You know, you are doing fine, you just have a class of a bunch of butt holes”, and walked out of the room. It was that night that she started coming to see me in my dreams. To hell I go, for sure.
I wish I could tell you I had the moxie and the influence to whip that class into shape, but I did not. The mad house continued with one less student joining in the fun. I tried my best to behave, answer her questions, pay attention and feign interest in the topic of the day – but I was just one in a sea of monsters. I stayed after class and after school a few times to talk with her, ask her how she was doing, and see if I could help in any way. She was actually starting to get the hang of things and was able to focus on the few classes that were willing to learn.
At the end of the school year, I was one of the few students who had not enrolled in a college for the coming year. Because I was one of the better students, it caused a little bit of a fuss and a number of teachers talked to me about the huge mistake I was making taking some time off before going to college. It seems they were all convinced that if I did not start into college in the fall, I was doomed to never go to college. I challenged them by saying what they were really worried about was their statistics of percentage of students who went on to further their education.
During the last day of classes, the music teacher asked me to stay after class. It appears, it was her turn to try to talk some sense into me.
“So, I hear you are not going to college,” she said.
“No, I’m going to college … some day, just not this fall.”
“So what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know yet. Take some time off. Work. Nothing. I don’t know. Why is it so important to everyone? When the time is right, I’ll go to college.”
“They just care about you.”
“Bull loney,” I said, only it was another word.
She smiled at me. I had been dreaming about her now for six months. I changed the topic.
“Have you ever kissed a boy?”
She laughed, “You know, I grew up the same as every girl in this high school. I did have boyfriends.”
“Yeah, but have you ever kissed a boy,” I challenged.
“No. Not the way you mean.”
“Do you ever wonder what it would be like?”
“No. Never,” she lied.
“If I told you I will register for college if you kiss me, will you?”
“No. I believe you when you say you just need some time off. I think that is a good idea.”
Then she walked up close to me and stopped a heartbeat away. Suddenly, she reached down between my legs, grabbed the crouch of my pants and said, “Just don’t let this thing get you in trouble.”
She abruptly turned and walked out of the classroom while I tried to catch my breath.
During the graduation ceremony I saw her sitting with the other teachers and shared a private smile with her while walking back to my seat after being handed my diploma. I would never see her again … outside of my dreams.
I often think about my high school music teacher and my ticket straight to hell. Unfortunately, I never heeded her advice. That body part of mine she grabbed ahold of for a fleeting second those many years ago, has gotten me in trouble time and time again.
Eyes of Seminary – Zamreen Zarook
Every day in our lives has different fragrance,
God give us various things in abundance,
Day by day knowledge is gained in accordance,
Things depend according to the attendance.
Two years of studies,
Helped us to come out with various abilities,
Extremely joyful moments with buddies,
But life said every aspect has its boundaries.
Teachers become very friendly,
They approach us very kindly,
They speak on us exaggeratedly,
Because they know, if not we might behave badly.
Big shots in the school boundary,
These are years of foundry,
It helped us to find and go for laundry,
Marvelous days, fully packed with sundry.
Various angles the kith and kins are civilized,
It’s because our knowledge is enhanced,
Guys and girls turned well experienced,
That’s why we call it levels of advanced.
We will on that long awaited Saturday of October
at a ceremony graced by men of great stature
be officially declared victors in academics
We will take a well-rehearsed parade
towards the podium where we will shake hands
with professors to be crowned
with titles no one can ever take away from us
Oh brother, oh sister, oh fellow graduates
do you recall those times
when we were often trapped in helter-skelter situations
scurrying on pavements with heavy bundles of books;
heavy with unsolved problems?
We fell sometimes, yes we fell
but dared to rise to regroup our focus
and now we shall wear those gowns,
we shall wear those clothes tagged success
and shoes free of dust, proud of ourselves
We eyed for this thing
we eyed for it with determination
and here we are now; we have it on our hands
and no one can ever take it away from us
Bojosi Ditshwele ©
For the University of Botswana Graduation ceremony held on the 12th October 2013
Published on the Echo newspaper; 10-16 Oct 2013
My future shines like the rays of the sun
brings my inner power to the outside
and even though I just lost a battle
(a battle of ignorance, not stupidity)
it makes me happy to still be alive
and to understand the choices I have made
Change is at the door, challenging me
now that the time has come
and for myself and my dear family
(the ones I love very much)
I am taking the inevitable
of a better future I am capable
My future shines like stars in a clear night
dressing my wife, children and I
dressing my brother, parents, loved ones
(real family and friends)
in elegant clothes for the event of our lives
a graduation from the lessons learned
Responsible I am of my own mistakes
of my unlimited passion and blind pride
however there is something I can recognize
(because that is the final point)
I was not born knowing it all
therefore, in ignorance I was wrong
My future smiles at my present, offering ...
a new alternative, a new way in a new place
a place where all my children can play
(where we are finally going to stay)
surrounded by ideal conditions at home
where everything makes sense after all!
I do not know?
Brought up from the womb of schooldays
Where memories still frames those mischief plays
Stuck with the thoughts of dreaming holly bolly babes
Comparing the beauties from among the best
The out and out gist, one surely misses those garlopholic days.
The morning alarm runs the cold water hot
Breakfast served and then the sprint
To reach before the nine forty bell.
Literature lecture the morning Yawn, followed by
Critical calculations the creation of few jobless mankinds.
Easy to know the solar system only from books, but
One need to fight against hurdles, to go round the globe.
The fruit that proved the gravitation, and the man who saw,
Keeping rest of the things constant, how come he didn’t notice before
Other things to fall ??
Subjects all seemed to me having an inter-relationship
And lastly this chain is known as history with mystery.
Immature mind yet a manly look
Smoking fag with creative thoughts
No idea how large the peg
Yet felt proud to say, ‘I finished 750 ml alone without a vomit break’.
A hint to know the word ‘C’,
And then I thought of kindergarten days
Where I learnt, C is for Cat,
Was it a fake?
Crazy things and Quarter to quarter girlfriends
Tears shifted to the word sex.
Yummy dreams with sorts of vulgarity
Wings started to spread but keeping in mind the fidelity.
Bohemian time and three more irresponsible years
Had to reach anyhow before the rays reaches
British age classrooms and railway station fans
High degree oldie professors and their sleeping pills lectures
Boredom same gender batch mates and that regular back gate
The awaited smudged horizon, suddenly brightens
The first one to appear used to have hundreds of eyes and mind respect.
A rare macaw time now
Bunch of responsible days to come
Stressed with few kicked off past and framed memories
Westerns and classics are now changing to a routine life.
Weekend alcoholic night and a morning sleepy Sunday
Followed by a workaholic Monday to Friday.
I do not know?
My mind reminds me of you,
you're stuck in my life and there's nothing I can do...
Three little words have haunt me and it's my
own being thats taunts me...
I've gone this far and made a life without you
but why do I continue when there's no life
High on the thought things will be fine and
Living as a king with no means to my action
I'll be damn if my bank questions my
Schooled by my past and learning it now
how could I relate to the child I help make
for the questions that they'll ask will be
impossible to fake!
Give me my license you call diploma
and let me wake up from my nightmarish
Get on with my life for Everyone to see that this
Death in me will eventually be set free!
The Perfect Circle Plant was where most kids went to work as a general rule,
To begin a life of donkeywork upon graduation from the local school.
I dreamed of things far beyond the horizon like visitin' Rome or Istanbul,
Not a life of drudgery in the plant or plowin' corn behind a ploddin' mule!
I suppose I could've gone to work there, married and had a flock of kids,
But such a mundane life would've driven me to booze, landin' me on the skids!
They made expansion rings and such for airplanes, ships and tanks.
Not for me! I chose the Air Force! For that I've always given thanks!
While I enjoyed the beauty of Bermuda (where I 'fought' the Korean War),
My peers were waitin' for quittin' time, performin' their borin' chore!
I reckon they made about five bucks an hour turnin' out expansion rings.
I only made a hundred bucks a month, but it paid for my youthful flings!
I just couldn't see myself turnin' nuts and bolts and payin' union dues,
Or catchin' hell from the ol' lady for stoppin' by the pub for some brews!
While I was dinin' on steak and sippin' Tom Collins' at the Plantation House,
My pals back home were eatin' meatloaf and listenin' to their spouse's grouse!
I hasten to say that the Perfect Circle Plant provided my friends with needed work,
But operatin' a planer or lathe eight hours a day would've driven me berserk!
Should I have taken Dad's advice and hired on at the plant had I to do it over?
Nah! I wanted to get off the farm and leave the county 'cause I'm an avid rover!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
An earthly existence
A universe beyond my minds, comprehension
Life lessons reviewed
I am not lost, after all!
I am a willing participant
Serving, the Father, of all creation
His son combined, ‘producing life’ as we know it
Representing them, in everything I do
I am nothing, without Love!
My heart full of faith, loyal service I give
Learning how to unconditionally serve, as the Father unconditionally, loves me
Worshipping our Divine Creator’s existence
Choosing to live, moment to moment
Being as one with ‘Our Universal Father’
No physical permanency
My physicality, disappearing
My mortality existence, I let go of
My spirit alive!
‘I am only passing through!’
A unique, experience of mortality
A gift, I am blessed to experience, to live!
We stood there in silence,
never asking for more;
we stood prepared for the violence,
garbed in full raiment of war.
In a moment of lightning,
a flash and a flare,
our defenses fell to the frightening,
our fortresses laid bare.
We knew what lay ahead,
and yet we carried on;
we experienced the chaos, the dread,
and still, the still face we don.
We bent our backs through the long night,
battled the forces arrayed against our ragged platoon;
to learn, to grow, to know what it is to fight -
to prove we and our forefathers of the same stone were hewn.
Then, after so long a struggle, finally came the dawn.
The sun rose, and we were men.
The sun rose, and all regrets over the pain were gone.
The sun rose, and we knew strength stood within our ken.
As our leaders spoke words over what we had just fought,
I felt on us the strings with which fate so often intervenes;
heard the call and knew what we had ultimately wrought.
As the colors flew, we saluted; forever we are Marines.
Ever on in silence we'll stand,
awaiting orders, waiting on your need;
the eagle, globe, and anchor forever our brand,
semper fidelis eternally our creed.