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Haiku Humorous Poems | Haiku Poems About Humorous

These Haiku Humorous poems are examples of Haiku poems about Humorous. These are the best examples of Haiku Humorous poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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places I've peed haiku series

1
Sun glints off ripples
Play of light in sheltered cove
Scenic lavatory

2
Backyard full of stars
Footsteps crack on frozen grass
Moonlit lavatory

3
Forested mountain side
Above twisting single track
Rider’s lavatory

4
Over arid land
Falling rain evaporates
Hot Aussie dunny

5
Sandy beach stretches
Tropical coral waters
Pristine lavatory

6
Beneath St. Paul’s dome
Lies manicured garden
Monumental lav.


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Haiku 1

This poem has been deleted due to possible publication.


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Haiku 6

This poem has been deleted due to possible publication.


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Soccer Sucks

Soccer really sucks.
In real football they kick butt.
And what’s with the shorts?


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The Internet: Return

A void of Facebook
Creativity dies here...
Procrastination!


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Gravity

Huge swirling storm clouds
seem to defy gravity.
Seek safety in space.


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What Does The Fox Say

What does the fox say?
“I had rabbit yesterday,
I’ll have mouse today.”


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Coo-Coo Ca-Ca Chu

Coo-Coo Ca-Ca Chu!
That means a bird’s crapped on you!
That’s not nice at all!


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The Internet

Oh the internet
A battle ground for morons
Will we ever learn?


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Midnight Light

I like the midnight.
I’m not afraid of the dark.
I have a flashlight.


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No Charm On The Farm

The third time’s a charm,
unless you live on a farm.
Cow poop stinks each time.


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What Does The Cow Say

What does the cow say?
“Don’t touch my teats you pervert.
I will call the cops.”


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Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?


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Gross Joke

Bugger nose

Finger goes

Roll roll roll












Poem written as a Ellip ( form of Haiku) for Ellip Contest.



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Aliens at Your Bedroom Window

Don’t worry now child
There's no god, so worship space
You are not alone.


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Why Does The Cock Crow

Why does the cock crow?
To get our lazy asses
out of our warm beds.


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Fear The Water

Still waters run deep.
Stay out of the deep water.
Don’t be stupido.


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What Does The Mouse Say

What does the mouse say?
“Okay! This is not funny!
Who put this trap here?”


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What Does The Witch Say

What does the witch say?
“I ride around on a broom
just because I can.”


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Haikus About God: III

Beauty of nature
Why condense it down to God?
Isn’t life enough?


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A good winter's cleaning

What are Cabinites                                                                                                          all things you find when cleaning                                                                                      cabinet dwellers


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What Does The Moose Say

What does the moose say?
“No, I’m not an ugly deer.
I’m not Bullwinkle.”


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What Does The Bear Say

What does the bear say?
“Yes I do crap in the woods.
What is wrong with that?”


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What Does The Hawk Say

What does the hawk say?
“Eagles are overrated.
We hawks rule the skies.”


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Rebooting Fool

My computer crashed!
I am brain dead without it!
Reboot fool, reboot!


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What Does The Skunk Say

What does the skunk say?
“Stink is sweet perfume to me
so get over it.”


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Grape Wine Drink

Glittering Purple 
So pretty it is so sweet
Fruit of history

Glittering Purple
So pretty it is so sweet
Taste of memory

Glittering Purple
So pretty it is so sweet
Drink from grape it wines


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What Does The Pig Say

What does the pig say?
“I am a little bit plump,
I am not chubby.”


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What Does The Frog Say

What does the frog say?
“I eat bugs. You eat my legs.
You must be crazy!”


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What Does The Wolf Say

What does the wolf say?
“That sly old fox outsmarts me
every damn time.”


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If You Please

Cheese, Cheese, if you please.
I have to have it right now.
Please, catch me a cow.


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What Does The Cat Say

What does the cat say?
“That damn dog is getting on
my very last nerve.”


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hunter's cabin

deer hunter's cabin left naked in former woods... miles_strip cleared of trees
Not sure that this qualifies as a true Haiku


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Zoological Obesity

Chubby fat hippo.
Big burly badass rhino.
Stout lout elephant.


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Bacchus Not Caesar

Grapes hanging on vines
Nectar of great taste and wealth
Roman Senate drunk

Grapes hanging on vines
Nectar of great taste and wealth
Romans fought while drunk

Grapes hanging on vines
Nectar of great taste and wealth
Bacchus, not Caesar

© Rick Zablocki 2013
For Alfred's "Bacchus" Contest

This is not factual( as far as I know), just my attempt at play with words, though I'm sure there were a few drunk Romans....


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Note to Self

Stop writing haikus
They don’t even make sense now
Something something cake


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Valentine Delight

Part 1.

Valentine delight!
I know it's just a first date...
I should spend a night.

I see what you want!
Although we recently met...
Let's live for tonight.

How tempting of you!
But what's a couple more days...
What if it's not right?


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Affairs of my pocket book

Perz got votes

Congress notes

I’m still broke


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Another Stinking January

Another New Year!
It’s January again!
Too damn cold for me!

A freezing north wind!
Snowing and sleeting begin!
Long wool underwear!


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All About the Music: The Infinite Magic of Lyricism

Pop may be catchy
But not lyrically deep
Case in point: Chris Brown.


(N.B. Poem written after hearing "Don't Wake Me Up")


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Why Does The Ape Dance

Why does the ape dance?
Because he has a hot date
with a chimpanzee. 


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The Crocodile I

The crocodile
listens to Rachmaninoff
once in a great while.

© 14-10-2013, G. Venetopoulos


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Protesting Geishas

Geishas on the march.
Protesting we know not what.
They really look pissed.


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Sunny Sonny

Sonny is sunny.
He is happy all the time.
What’s wrong with the boy?


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Hillbilly Haven

Putin came to town.
It was filled with hillbillies.
They kicked his dang ass.


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Brevity Is The Soul Of Wit

He drank too much beer.
He did not zip his zipper.
Nobody noticed.


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Le Vacance Pretentieuse: Storm Part V

The English weather:
Rainclouds follow us from home
There is no escape.


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Negative Absurdities

You can’t hug a bug.
You can’t grapple with King Kong.
You can’t eat snot fast.


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Skeeter Eater

The skeeter eater
is a right decent insect.
It eats the skeeters.


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Funny Animals

Pack rats are hoarders.
Loopy rabbits hop a lot.
Silly skunks spray stink.


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Heck The What

There was a pixie
inside the bottle I had.
She drank my whiskey.


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Moonshine Jamboree

Moonshine Jamboree!
A country boy’s fantasy!
A redneck party!


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Snake Bitten

I stepped on the snake.
The snake struck me on my thigh.
I jumped off the snake.


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Winter Mishap

I can’t feel my toes!
I’ve been walking in the snow.
I can’t feel my nose!


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Can't Dance

Old King David danced.
I can’t, I have two left feet.
I can’t sing either.


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Christmas

A Christmas wish list
A quick glimpse into my life
Not much going on


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Haiku 12

eating the wife's baked bread
I take advice from the cow nearby
chewing and chewing



NOTE: for those that have read Haiku 11 I have just recently edited it if you wish to check it out.


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dog haiku




dog breaks wind in sleep awakens and sniffs the air then bolts from the room
dedicated to dogs and dog lovers (the funny side)


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seasonal senryu

Three Humorous Senryu 

If winter landscape 
Had snow that was black as coal 
It would still be cold 

If sunlight was green 
Shining on crimson nature 
It would still be hot. 

If rain was yellow 
Running like horse piss in streets 
It would still be wet. 


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Sound Sleeper

He was sound asleep.
A worm crawled out of his ear.
That was real creepy.


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Stooges

Shemp was a real clown.
Curly was so much better.
What ‘bout Curly Joe?


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Night Watchman

Not on my watch man!
No streaking! Put your clothes on!
That’s perverted dude!


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Knothead

It fell from the sky.
I have a knot on my head.
Dead pigeon falling.


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Clue

Shattered eggs
Fluffy corpse
Tooth Fairy in custody

March 10, 2013


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Tater Tots

Yum! Yum! Tater Tots!
Smush them real good in ketchup!
Love those Tater Tots!


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Beware The Skunk

Foam came from Pete’s mouth,
with a skunk biting his butt;
rabies on the run.


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Cannibalism

Leapers in hot tub

Floats fingers and toes

What’s for supper- Stew!


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Escape to nowhere

My reality sucks.
What's the point of being sane?
....................................................................................Can't escape myself.


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Road Rage

it must be road rage
more than the middle finger
the middle toe too


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Eureka




where are my glasses? aha! at last I found you sitting on my nose


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Ecovictim

Digital blackout
Another ecovictim
Saved by library

(Ecovictim refers to anyone impacted by any economy as of late. More specifically, me when I had to budget without Internet service and relied on the public library.)


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Suffocating

A suffocation
Poor poetry drowns me out
Most of it my own


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My Phone

Oh old mobile phone
Thanks for fixing my toilet
Now scared to touch you


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Some Haiku Silliness



Looked outside and a Lavender rhinoceros Was staring at me Some call me loopy That's a compliment to me Silly people rock Every time I sneeze I piddle in me trousers And poop my knickers I dress like a bum Cause I don't care anymore I'm retired now Hugging can lead to Something other than friendship An enlarged belly Men shouldn't ever Go naked in the winter Stuff just might fall off What does a Scottie Wear under his tartan kilt Small bits of haggis © Jack Ellison 2013


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Haiku 16

after hours
of wall-staring -
this drab haiku


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Quandary - A Husband's Haiku

The dishes are done,
Kids are asleep and dreaming.
Want to watch T.V.?

Privacy at last.
The kids will not disturb us.
Want to hug and smooch?

The dishes are done.
No one will disturb us, but
She's got a headache.

Whatever I did,
It must have been bad, because
She keeps saying, "No."


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Hazed KU'S



                    --Mid*Night Purple Hazed,
                       Confusion Clouds Spin,
                            Mind In A Daze--

                  --Hands Cramp, Flow, Style 
                Bagged, Through Roughened Air,
                        Quarrels Ruby Red--

                    --Mouth Quit, No Words,
                         Come Out To Play,
                  Destined To Make My Fame--


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Splash

 
               


!               Gathering clouds, then;
             rain. a pool! a puddle! a torrent! 
              then, an  almighty splash


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Haiku 28

do you hear it?
that be the sound of the "rule for haiku"
snapping



NOTE: 5-7-5 meet 4-10-2...


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SNEEZING THE ROSE

 Sneezing,
Cupid lost sight
Of the skyrose! Ha! Ha!


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Why Did I Come In Here

Like a fleet rabbit
Memory runs from recall
Teasing from afar.


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Cold, Flexible Steel

A serial of haikus, all addressing the same topic with 
a hint of humor; but advice that could save your life
or that of a loved one.  New to PoetrySoup, so I hope 
I'm not "out of order" with this submission or topic. 


Cold, flexible steel
Probing my dignity...
Colonoscopy.

This “simple” exam
“…could prevent cancer.” they say.
Colonoscopy.

We all have to die,
But not from colon cancer.
Colonoscopy.

There's a downside tho’.
“Yuk! That, nasty brown liquid.”
Colonoscopy.

“But boy, does it work...
Work and work and work some more. 
Colonoscopy.

Baring your buttocks...
In a fetal position;
Then the lights go out. 

“No polyps", they say.
There are no malignancies.
Colonoscopy.

Your colon’s okay.
It’s five years until your next...
Colonoscopy.

Want some peace of mind?
Insurance may pay for it.
Colonoscopy. 

One “simple” exam
Can provide that peace of mind.
Colonoscopy.

You might save your life.
Over 45?  Do it!
Colonoscopy.

Cold, flexible steel.
On the other hand, what if…
Something else kills you?


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Haikus About God: VII

Non-existent God
Subject of poor poetry
Just like this one. Damn.


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Crow Humor

Loud raucous laughter
From rowdy crows overhead
I missed the punch line


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Strikethrough Haiku

Derivative Haiku

This awful haiku
absolutely terrible -
unoriginal

Cute Baby Haiku

This baby haiku -
Four too few syllables -
Aaaaw

Funky Zen Haiku

Cherry blossom monk
cannot read English haiku
but loves the Beatles

NSA Propaganda Haiku

Citizen is bad -
don't listen to Ed Snowden -
sleep on lillipad

Confused French Cow, Definitely Not Mad Cow Haiku

Muh muh said mad cow -
I'm not mad I just speak French,
muh is French for moo

(Strikethrough Haiku)

For last Strikethough Haiku go to sukispangles.blogspot.com


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Mosquitoes

buzzing day and night 

tell scary tales at night

my blood relatives


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first hue of light dawn

first hue of light dawn
redness swells in the background
over rooftops line


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Measure For Measure

I moved to Europe.
They measured weight by volume.
Completely absurd!


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Haiku 41

sporadic chimes -
an invisible man
knocks at my door


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Probabilities of Life

We want a sure thing,
But all we're really sure of
Are death and taxes.


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KILLER

KILLER
You are a killer-
Vegetarian or not-
You eat - smash insects


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just silly

Big bear farts loudly
Coyote laughs at big bear
Bear eats coyote


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Stoner's Lament

All those wee pot flakes
So carelessly whisked away...
Could use a joint now.


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Frog On Lillie Pad

Frog on lillie pad
Dragonfly flies
Gulp Mmmmm..  :) 


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Humorous Haiku

Springtime wanderlust -
amative evanescence -
kismet susurrus

Clouds float on a pond
 and a duck glides through the clouds
 paddling her jet streams
 
Moonbeams diffusing -
 through net curtains they shimmer
 bathing the dreamers
 
City scene at dusk - 
 Indigo sky, vapour trails
 police sirens, blue
 
Office air-con ducts
 zen-bee orchestras buzz -
 blasting heat at drones
 
Networking Planet -
 five-thousand friends and likes? - check.
 Lover? -..networking..
 
A passer-by, my..
 her gaze of Cleopatra -
 my heart butterfly


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Words

Alliteration
Abomination?—no,but
Fascination—words


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The Owl Family

You're on my doorstep
You want a family pic?
Got any mice—rats?


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Lost Art

Going to Utah
In busy sorting center
Fallen on the floor


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In My Jockeys



Down in my jockeys Resides a good friend of mine He's retired now © Jack Ellison 2014


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Preparing a Goose

a goose in a trance plucking and stuffing easy eyes start watering


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Erato

Erato left me
Alone—why did she go—where?
Too many poets


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Black Bart

Black Bart the PO8
Robbed Wells Fargo in Cal state
His lifestyle—his fate

Claimed his poetry
Not his robbery should have
Jailed him…snobbery


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Milton

Behemoth, biggest
born of earth upheaved—vastness. 
—Milton (I stole it) 


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Pickled Beets



Used to know a girl Was obsessed with pickled beets Her skin was beet red © Jack Ellison 2014