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War Funny Poems | Funny Poems About War

These War Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about War. These are the best examples of War Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Iambic Pentameter |

Chicken Cot UFO

Chicken Cot UFO

It crossed the gloaming skies above the roofs,
in awe we followed then, its jazzy course;
mysterious would be the incensed spoofs
this ireful ship, upon us, would enforce.

Hmm..
..We said! Abominable was the ship
that traced its gaudy eights in air with hum;
predestined to avenge our ego trip,
atrocious poulets, would not succumb.

The chicken soldiers were a frightful troop
in pink-pistachio uniforms with spots,
that insolent, bombarded us with moop,
to hit our heads that were devoid of thoughts.

In order to placate the chicken troop,
some started to recite their verse to skies;
confronting that attacking chicken group,
- bird poems they opposed to battle cries.

The angry war-birds listened to the verse,
that was composed by stunned, exposed confreres,
their cackle was bemocking and adverse,
- upon their heads they wore rouge voluperes.

This myth reflected what would happen if
extraterrestrial cots invaded Earth,
relentless chicken-birds in martial tiff
would moop upon some artists of top worth.

© 12/11/2013, G. Venetopoulos

moop = Matter Out Of Place


Details | I do not know? |

My Declaration of War on Self-Imposed Stupidity...WHO'S COMING WITH ME?!

All this hyped up glam and glitz
  giggly girls break down in fits
    these mascara clad boys devoid of wits
The shallower they go,  the deeper it gets
 
Sillouettes lacking inner angles and lines...
 The substance goes absent when the light shines...
Plotless drama without direction, still winds
 These tragically bad fads spread like vines

Overrun with Reality shows depicting what's REAL
  A mass zombie audience digesting their meal
Not In, but outside, this box they soften like veal
  Staring at a screen that numbs how they feel

When did the war on intelligence start?
  Losers not knowing that losing's not smart...
Cable providers gladly doing their part
  News channels selling half-truth ala carte

I will be a rebel and fight for your mind
 Hiding remote-controls where they won't find
Trading entertainment for knowledge in kind
  Giving books out to the voluntarily blind

 
It's gonna be a BATTLE!!!  WHO'S COMING WITH ME??!!
   
         
  




Details | Free verse |

The Cold War

I am winter's nemesis.I fight it tooth and nail.
In my youth it declared a war on me.
When I licked that icy rail.
Winter has many weapons to choose from.
Fear not for so do I.
A call my shovel Excali-burrr
My Ranger has four wheel drive
But winter's arsenal is no laughing matter
Icicles sent to impale, and black ice is its deadly device
But the human spirit is not that frail

I am winter's nemesis, and though it muffles all sound
This war is raging with bitter disdain.
My driveway the battle ground
I shall not relinquish my parking spot
to your mindless rabble of flakes
So bow to me you wretched season
For I shall never tire. 
and my staunch ally will soon be spring
and together we will force a cease fire

For I am winter's nemesis
And these walls shall not be breached
Until my tour of duty is done
and I retire to Miami beach


Details | Rhyme |

The anomaly of irony.

Rolling through a bloody mess,
my master died alone no less.
His mercy was indeed a lie,
he said I lived but now will die.

His hand was swift with a mighty stroke,
within a thought my life was broke.
Oh how I lived, and he knew not,
but now I lay...my life to rot.

No foot, nor hand could move a limb,
Three days old and no sign of him.
And then he came at my wits end,
With strength alone I cant defend.

He lift me up and broke my jaw,
Just to laugh as I hit the floor.
He took a blade and made a fist,
stabbed his flesh, his vein, his wrist.

Now you're dead and now you're mine,
drink from me and you'll be fine.
I could not stand my masters site,
I killed him quick with my own bite.


Details | Rhyme |

Kilroy Was Here

There was an elusive little guy often espied during World War Two,
And who he was and whence he came no one ever really knew!
He was a bald headed little feller with a very prominent nose,
And he always left the message "Kilroy Was Here" in very stilted prose!

You seldom saw his eyes and his hands were clinging to a wall.
Many G.I.s saw him in latrine stalls and in their greasy dining hall!
His origin and parting message are debated to this very day,
And no one has ever nabbed the graffiti artists who always slunk away!

He was portrayed in cruisers, battleships and even on submarines!
Kilroy's portrait was tattooed on the chests of a few diehard Marines!
'Tis said Hitler saw "Kilroy Was Here" and wondered what it meant,
Thinking it a secret code when found on American accouterment!

Kilroy became as famous as the mysterious smile on the Mona Lisa.
(I even saw his mug when I climbed to the top of the Tower of Pisa!)
Rosie the Riveter may have been guilty, if the truth were told,
Of tracing Kilroy's image on bombers, including the bomb bay hold!

Well, 'tis for sure we couldn't have won the war without the little guy!
Kilroy's antics lifted morale at home and overseas, that you can't deny!
But you haven't seen the last of him, for he is forever etched in history,
On the World War Two Monument in DC - how he got there is a mystery!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

For those a tad younger who may have never heard of Kilroy, go to your search
and type in "Kilroy Was Here" and click the Wikipedia notation and you will learn
more than you ever wanted to know about him!


Details | Bio |

hell was other...

hell was other
people’s lives, 
wayward wit and 
witless pride, 
played upon 
the green of life, 
until the light
was left to right,

hell was other
people’s thoughts,
fraught with that, 
that we applaud, 
aimless aims and 
limbless lots, 
the truth in truth 
we soon forgot,

hell was other 
people…


Details | Rhyme |

im just gonna snap okay get over it

i dont care who you are
or what you think of me
build me up and break me down
then take your "stuff"* and flee

i hate you 
you know it too
so bring it to my plate
take a point and hold my ground
to not spew all my hate

you were so nice in the beginning 
well, what the "heck"* are you now?
gone, love, thats what you are
a filthy ugly cow

i am still the nice guy 
lord, you have said so much worse
and still im here, i still get by
a blessing, not a curse.

i didnt snap hard enough to say what i meant


Details | Limerick |

"War of the Worlds" by H.G. (Hebert-Gautreaux) Wells

Martian Gumbo

One of dem Saucer land in da Bayou
Ole Boudreaux out huntin say "Jus who be you?"
Den he point him shodgun
And say "Lookee here son...
Jus found some green OKRA to seasonne my stew!"


Details | Clerihew |

General Bedford Forest

CSA General Bedford Forest
Mighty killing warrior
Would've won the war no jest
If his horses were survivors

Gen. Forest lost 30 horses during the civil war and killed more soldiers than any 
other general. It could  be said he was lucky or his horses were unfortunate.


Details | Iambic Pentameter |

Chicken Cot UFO - Hmm

Chicken Cot
UFO - Hmm

It crossed the
gloaming skies above
the roofs,
in awe our eyes
pursued its jazzy
course;
( mysterious would
be the incensed
spoofs
this ireful ship,
upon us, would
enforce! )

Hmm..
..We said!
Abominable was the
ship
that traced its
gaudy eights in air
with hum;
predestined to
avenge our ego trip,
atrocious poulets,
would not succumb.

The chicken soldiers
were a frightful
troop
in pink-pistachio
uniforms with spots,
that insolent,
bombarded us with
moop,
to hit our heads
that were devoid of
thoughts.

- The Alien ship was
rounded like the
moon;
each angry bird was
using a stun-gun,
the star of origin
of that platoon
and planet were most
certainly to shun. -

In order to placate
the chicken troop,
some started to
recite their verse
to skies;
confronting that
attacking chicken
group,
- bird poems they
opposed to battle
cries.

The angry war-birds
listened to the
verse,
that was composed by
stunned, exposed
confreres,
their cackle was
bemocking and
adverse,
- upon their heads
they wore rouge
voluperes.

This myth reflected
what would happen if
extraterrestrial
cots invaded Earth,
relentless
chicken-birds in
martial tiff
would moop upon some
artists of top
worth.

© G. Venetopoulos,
12/11/2013, All
rights reserved

moop = Matter Out Of
Place

Sponsor: Shadow
Hamilton
Contest Name:
Spaceship
Deadline: 3/27/2014


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