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Funny Success Poems | Funny Poems About Success

These Funny Success poems are examples of Funny poems about Success. These are the best examples of Funny Success poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Light Poetry | |

The Job Interview

The HR person called me in… I was turning gray… Was he even twenty-one?
I wondered if the interview would go well, as he did fung shui the chairs around.
Offered a caramel expresso mocha late decaf, I told him I took my coffee black.
Alas my friend, it got progressively worse, this: our proverbial generational gap.

He asked me to explain, how I’d be the best personnel fit, for this illustrious job.
Ah! Experience I had in abounds, as I pulled out a 100-page resume, neatly bound.
That question, had me off and running, but I knew, I was in some trouble when…
I saw his eyes glaze over, and he ask me, ‘Have we made it into space yet?’

He smirked, when he ask, about ‘Recent’ applicable education, in the last 5 years.
I condensed my course certifications till he nearly fell off, his crazy chair, my dear!
He ask the projects worked on, unfortunately, all were government secret classified. 
So I added some of the numerous skills, that had been applied, till he almost cried.

I started with the job descriptions, but he didn’t like… that the names were so long.
And the abbreviations normally used, in this line of work, almost blew his mind.
Though I also got the feeling, he may have thought that I’d finally, lost mine, since…
My accomplishments had scads of stuff he’d never, ever, be able to comprehend...

You know, ‘things’ about the job, HR doesn’t care about or bother to be clued in.
Luckily all was saved, before the interviewers’ jaw, hit the floor around his chair.
Using a power point presentation, illustrations appeared, giving him a better clue.
I even gave him a burned DVD, set to the music of  ‘Live Free or Die Hard’, too.

He ask about items, he’d never heard of, you know, from way before he was born.
But got the feeling he’d be more attentive, talking about a computer game going on.
I didn’t lie about a thing, it’s not my fault some Companies are now closed down!
But I felt things were somewhat a success, as security finally came to lead me out…

Unfortunately, in the end, they hired a young one, and I couldn’t understand why.
He was a quiet, little, studious kid, who didn’t say a thing, but had stars in his eyes.
He didn’t understand any of the work involved, but his pay would be next to none.
But that's whom they got: until that company closed for work that couldn’t be done.

All because the HR Department didn't help them get the workers they did need.
I became self-employed, developing computer games, all the rage! Oh So Sweet!
Yes, I became a millionaire, with my own company, without HR, anywhere seen!
Now, we develop rockets to go into space, where I felt, that HR person should be.

Dedicated to all those Middle aged people stressed out after looking for a job.
Wife and Hubby Collaboration


Details | Free verse | |

Ridiculous Me

Watch this scene with both eyes and try not to blink C: --> 

I stood there... silently
Like a predator near prey 
I sneak behind YOU

You weren't even aware of it!! Ha-ha! 

I made YOU jump hIgH
Like a startled hare
I chuckle and smile

You know that mischievous smile of mine? 

Your reaction was
PRICELESS - you were so upset
But YOU forgave me

Well...I'm flattered. . . 

We laugh'd together (just like the good times)
In a chorus - our volume
Picked up extreme sound

Believe me - I could hear our laughter from a mile away!

But I'm glad I did
My best to make you giggle

Ridiculous me... 
Wouldn't you agree?


Details | Limerick | |

Slow Golf

Golfers ahead were really slow
because their dead balls just wouldn't go
     we offered them beer,
     later we found cheer--
 they stepped aside to let it outflow.


Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?


Details | Light Poetry | |

Star Trek Rules

Star Trek Rules!

It was time for: Comic Con! Comic Con! Dragon wanted to come, too!
But then so did everyone else at Troll Lake… Hey, now, wouldn’t you?
We made some really cool costumes… for the costume show, my Dear.
You can guess, ‘Star Trek Rules!’ It couldn’t be anything less, you hear. 

Our favorite nighttime popcorn show, would truly now, become a part of our lives! 
The penguins got permission from the zoo; to go… great publicity, so very wise.
McRacoon had his Las Vegas Dragons get us, and a mock saucer, there, all on time.
Naturally pre-registered and in costume, we strutted in! Hi there! Began the playtime!

Man we were really cool, as the guest actors ask for OUR autographs. For Real!
Pictures were snapped, and a poster made, to be signed by everyone, so cheerful.
It’s highest bid, given to charity, would be a nice touch, for everyone in our crew.
The costume show was set outside, where all the dragons, could fly in, or out, too.

And a small mock, star ship was landed on stage, so we could enter with more flare.
Lord a mercy! Look at us! We’d never be like this, again! We were like stars, I swear!
Grandpa Troll, became Mr. Spock, naturally, because he was so, very clever and wise.
Our neighbor witch, was Uhura, due to her great ability to, protect everyone’s’ lives. 

Borp the Frog became Sulu, so he could take us up to Borp speed, with laser effects!
Hubby was Scotty, with the Tinker Trolls in engineering, for special effects, so perfect!
The penguins were the beloved crewmembers, running with lasers, all over the place.
The powder puff tribbles, got wet, so yes, became the ‘Trouble with Dribbles’, in space.

The Mary River Turtles wanted to be Checkov. What a groovy, exciting, security team.
Dragon wanted to be Captain Kirk, you know, like totally, in command… At the scene!
All agreed, I’d be a great Dr. McCoy, since I always get to, kiss the Boo- Boo’s away.
The Weird Frogs were the Aliens, chasing everyone mindlessly, around, the set, that day.

And the Las Vegas Dragons, became attacking star ships, over which our lasers won!
The crowds went wild, and we won first place in their hearts, as well as, in their minds!
Everyone had, such a good time, so the Trek continued, well after, when we got home.
That year Comic Con made the National news, and of course, nobody, was surprised!

As the residents of Troll Lake and Acorn Falls… continue to Trek on… every day!

By Mike and Carol Eastman… 


Details | Free verse | |

Conspiracy: Who Killed The Easter Bunny

A crowded table, all suspended in shock 
The sound of the shot dimming to a ‘knock’
Only silence, except for the marching clock
The weapon still smoking; an anonymous glock
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Loud cries arise from the elongated table,
Jack Frost is shocked, the Tooth Fairy unable
To speak whilst Santa is checking the stable
For clues on the erstwhile maidservant Mable
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

They searched for hours, called in C.S.I,
Panic set in, would the children all cry?
Sandman confirmed the bunny had died
Batman suspected somebody had lied
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Guests were quizzed, interrogations began
The mystery unfolded when Santa Claus ran,
Grabbing the pies, he tried escaping in a van
But was stopped in his tracks by superman
SANTA KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY!


Details | Light Poetry | |

Clueless Job Applicant

You’ll never guess whom the cat drug in; have a day where you just couldn’t win?
He came strutting in, smacking his gum loud, dressed to the nines Goth Punk style.
Tats trailed down his left arm, with my notice, he said, saving up for the other arm.
When ask about drugs, his answer to me was: “Yes, I’ll share” most invitingly…

Metal adornments on ears, nose, and lips, didn’t want to know, the all of it, at this.
As I noticed, he smiled most cattily, asking: ‘Want to see where else they might be?’ 
Hair a Mohawk with a trail down his back, colors of the rainbow, left nothing to lack.
Steel studs on a black leather butt, said, ‘Bite Me!’ with each and every staged strut.

What are you kidding?… Do my eyes me deceive, or did he just make a pass, at ME?
No Way! I’d rather drop kick him from my office fast, didn't he have any real class?
The application, a Sales Manager Job. Who would try to send me over the deep end?
Bet it had been a practical joke, beginning to end, so I simply held on, my friend.

He must've read my face, forhe smirked, I continued to ask for his list of experience.
His experience was none, but he said he managed his I-tune collection, very well.
Of course, he was the Leader of his ‘Chat Room’. I wondered, ‘Who could tell?’ GEE!
Also an impressive set up on his Facebook page, for his innumerable video games.

I ask how he was qualified for ANY job? Said, Dad ‘THE CEO’ wanted him employed.
I verified this with a call, was told not to be too Harsh, he had Potential, after all...
Ask what job he wanted to give his son? ‘Let him chose himself’, came the real clue!
Ask him, what job he really wanted to do, ‘VP in charge of Recreation’ was imbued.

Said he'd check out all the great places, in his Dad’s fancy Porche. Honestly True!
I kid you not! And he wanted his girlfriend, made into his secretary, Yah! No Doubt!
Believe it or not, he got all he thought he was due. All approved by the CEO’s! True!
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any better… I began to really reconsider…

Really, who had been clueless… It hadn’t been him!… Which left me in a dither…
Knowing I just couldn’t win!  I’d be glad when this day was finally, truly, done… 
The kid had probably thought this a great joke on me from beginning to the end!
My perfect job, had just come undone! Apparently, being in HR isn’t always fun! 

My college degree, that took so much sacrifice, no longer sparkled, so much to me.
Boy did I now WISH, I was a CEO’s SON! As I simply got all the paper work done. 
Later, I saw the family portrait on the CEO’s desk. Lucky me! One down!… 
Only eight more to go!

Carol Eastman and Hubby


Details | Verse | |

Inevitable Bear

Oh lonely Inevitable Bear,
Padding claws, death in white
Sorrow in recurring nightmare
Instinct’s test; fight or flight?

Camouflage against the fence,
A challenge; my subconscious fear
Ominous slowly moving silence,
“Let me in, there’s a bear out here!”


Details | Light Poetry | |

Public Nuisance Number 1

Dragon made the papers for that very unfortunate Church event, toots sweet.
Then Dragon, suddenly, decided to finger-paint billboards, all over the town.
He’d discovered painting was sooo cool, and wanted to, spread his joy around.
It wouldn’t have been bad, but the Mayor was on them, and it was election time.

He didn’t like psychedelic mustaches, as yes; he even considered them a crime.
Dragon was called to court, lickety split, as the National news came into town.
We saw the writing on the wall, before it began; Dragon was, about to be banned.
So Grandpa Troll and I put our heads together, as never before, we needed to plan.

Now the aim would be to turn a fiasco, into a miracle beyond anything, to compare.
Dragon entered, with head held high, painted, shined, and leashed, as a dragonfly.
The newspapers called, were mesmerized, this’d be great to make readership, fly! 
All the businesses were booming, with visitors coming from everywhere, to stare.

The judge and mayor glowered, with menace, as the charges were read, out loud.
When asked what we had to say for ourselves, this is what I replied to the crowd…
Church ministries have gone viral, collecting new followers, all around the world. 
Yes we are sorry, for the mischievous, and crazy lives we seem to live, and unfurl.

The town is flourishing, in spite of all we do, and we volunteer our work, each week.
The State Fair wants, Dragon, to replace plane flyovers, unaffordable to put on, here.
But, if we aren’t wanted… we’ll take bids, and then with heavy hearts, we will go.
Yes, we’ll solve the problem, by saying goodbye, and then leaving you all, alone.

There were fees to pay, as only a few towns’ people applauded, that we would go.
Alas, the Preacher, and businessmen realized, their newfound profits would go, also.
The mayors’ dislike toward us, became the towns problem, as it hit the national news.
Protestors, environmentalists, and endangered species lawsuits were now filed, anew.

Trolls, Dragons, and Mary River Turtles are rare, so the government, stepped in, too.
They declared the National Forest and our home, as a new, kind of wildlife refuge.
As we went viral on the Internet, the town applauded us, in a political, turn around.
Dragon became everybody’s friend, and got to do State Fair acrobatics, in the end.

Wow, my head is still spinning, from all this, as with results, we were over whelmed.
The moral to this story is: never give up and, yes, of course, learn to use… the Internet.


Details | Haiku | |

Note to Self

Stop writing haikus
They don’t even make sense now
Something something cake


Details | Free verse | |

Reflections: Intellectualism

To Dine, To Die;
Conversations spiral
While thunderous eyes
Grasp concepts to recycle.

Constant debt crisis
A political paradox
Grating social devices
Over the sorting of socks.

Pseudo-analysis
An endless groan
Argumental paralysis
The debate grants no throne.

Existentialism
Over a roast
Potatoes won't listen
To who talks the most.

"That point is so interesting"
The floor is open for chat
"What is real?" not a thing
"Meow" adds the cat.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Dragon Fly

(To be read after my 'Fire and Brimstone'.)

Dragon Fly, Dragon  Fly, fly away home. You’ve caused enough trouble here, I am told.
All you wanted was to ring the church bell, but the belfry your body did not take well.
Terrible things happened all around, and the belfry you left is certainly not sound.
Old Lady Moore still has her cane, to protect them again, if you cause harm, within.
Old Lady Swanson’s lost hat is her major complaint, apologize profusely, be a saint!
The Church belfry will need lots of work; by the carpenter Trolls to fix it’s bridgework.
The people all need to calm down, they were scared and now the church is shutdown.
Looks like they’ll need a new fancy annex to be built for weddings and such… 
To help them  forgive… even… ever… slightly… enough. Though, of course…
The preacher himself…wants you back, for sure; I am definitely, and totally assured.
He’s never been inspired to such lofty greatness to soar, never, not even, once before.
He says you hold his key, to reach the lost, as they tune in to see what’s coming next.
He wants to add even, the Trolls to the mix. If they can be saved, well, you get the gist.
And you’ll have to attend church for quite a while, yes, still, as an itsy bitsy Dragonfly.
You’ll need to get forgiveness from all, you know, before you grow big, again, I am told.
The witch is quite clear on this spell, a dragonfly you’ll stay till everything’s made well.
Seems, you also, owe them an apology, for half scaring them… well… nearly to death.
Bumps, bruises, and a broken arm need to heal, from jumping over the pews, they feel.
Plus some of the teenagers, have made tee shirts of you, and want your autograph, too.
You see, your limited edition, when signed, will pay their way to bible camp, this time.
And the girl with the cast on her arm, wants a picture of you on a leash, so be charming!
You see, you scared her, a really whole lot, if she can pet you, her fear will be forgot.
It seems, you really messed up, this time, you see… but all will be forgiven, eventually.
So Dragon Fly, Dragon Fly, fly away home. They understood, once your story was told.
If you agree to all I have said: They’ll give you a bell outside, to ring before church…
Each and every Sunday Morn, with a special alcove, made for only you, to perch...

Remember, if God can love a mischievous little Dragonfly... And he can love you, too.
So until next church time... Bye Bye...


Details | Light Poetry | |

Along came a Spider

An evil spider dropped down from behind. Help me! Help Me! She cried!
Oh white Knight… Can you save me? I’m on my tuffet trying to make a rip tide.
Where is he? Where is he? I can’t see it! He’s behind me, she cried!
The great white knight dropped every thing, to save his damsel in distress!
I can’t see it… I can’t see it… Save my bacon please…
If I try to move away from my white porcelain tuffet… he will surly get me!
A fierce battle ensued, as the knight grabbed his toilet paper sword.
Move away you snarly fiend, he roared!
Back and forth… Back and forth… They battled on endlessly.
She is mine, said the knight… No! She is mine said the spider, repeatedly
Finally, the white knight ruled supreme, with a final thrust of his paper sword! 
The white knight vanquished the evil spider, as he jumped upon the floor!
Now, you are safe my fair damsel, he decried, to continue your porcelain quest.
Then the White knight gathered his belongings and scampered away, doing his best.
With a ‘No need to get up miss’, she continued on her quest.
A blue haze eventually drifted in, as her thanks rang out, and she did attest. 
He had truly been her hero, of the great conquest…

Dated 6-8-2013


Details | Haiku | |

My Phone

Oh old mobile phone
Thanks for fixing my toilet
Now scared to touch you


Details | Light Poetry | |

Leavit and The Muscrat Gang

Armadilly Billy needed repair work on the home, as he wanted to move in.
Asking around Troll Lake Town, the answer was Leavit, again and again.
A bit confused, he needed repairs; he couldn’t leave it, like they said, therein.
So he picked up the Acme phone book, and understanding, then, did begin.

It said: Levit T. Beaver for the best woodwork, to be found, anywhere around.
The rumor was: he was once a movie star, before retiring to Troll Lake Town.
He had the scruffiest crew, Billy had ever seen, inept in absolutely, everything.
Called: The Muskrat Gang, they were tied up in chains, yes, the whole shebang.

Doing time for trying to blow up Leavit’s dam, yep, a real, live, chain gang, bound.
Tho, they were really chained up, to stop them, from aimlessly scurrying all, around.
He thought to give them purpose, before he was through, and a new profession, too.
After they tried to empty Troll Lake, to scoop out all the fish, on one crazy afternoon.

What they got was better, as Leavit tried to teach them work, with all kinds of wood.
He stopped them, and saved some mice, lost in a boat, on the lake, on that day, too.
Oddly, love blossomed between Leavit and one of the mice, her name was Mary Ann.
He was lucky in love, as the other mice decided, to rent rooms, to stay, on his island.

Though he had to admit that Gilligan, Skipper, and the other mice WERE a tad, strange.
And as for the Muskrat Gang, well, they seemed, to pretty much, stay unchanged.
After serving their time, Levit T. Beaver, offered to hire them, to help him clean up.
All their scurrying, was perfect for this, as he paid them in their most, beloved fish.

With the Chains gone, a job and home found, they discovered crime did not pay.
So my Moral, my friend, is that in the end… Crime is Never the Way!




Details | Couplet | |

The best job

Your own successful biz,
that's what your best job is!

Volodymyr Knyr
2014


Details | Free verse | |

what success told me!

 
 
success loved by all, hated by none
ask the movie star or the beauty queen
nothing on earth thrills like success!
success is the precursor of achievement
he’s the prize for hard work
success is the difference between affluence and penury
he's the distinction between fame and obscurity
he’s the thin line between sadness and joy
he differentiates the president from his chief critic
success guarantees you'll never lack friends
however, success breeds envy
beside ever successful man, there is a fair lady
sever ties with success and she'll be your ex
one with success always holds his head high
a successful child is his parent's pride
success is utterly irritable
thus he's seldom a lasting friend
despite the many faults of success
he never selects friends
i laugh when people accuse success
of never bothering to look their way
success is an impatient guest
who knocks on everyone's door at odd hours
and he may leave if we’re too slow to open
‘cos he's got many homes to visit