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Sorry Funny Poems | Funny Poems About Sorry

These Sorry Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Sorry. These are the best examples of Sorry Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

Details | Sonnet | |

Shall I Compare Thee to Your Mother's Arse

Shall I compare thee to your mother's arse?
Thou aren’t more lovely, but more flatulent.
Rough winds do shake it; and bring on a farce
And all her clothes hath all too short a rent

Sometime too hot-headed of hell doth burn,
And often is the true nature exposed;
And every foul from fowl; my stomach churns,
By reason, or by nature's raging closed.

But thy infernal diet shall ne’er start
Nor gain possession of which now I grasp;
Nor shall we meet again; let’s stay apart,
When in eternal sounds the voice does rasp,
So long as men can breathe or eyes can cry,
So long lives this, and I bid thee goodbye.


Details | I do not know? | |

Mistaken For A Senior Citizen!

Ok, I normally keep my cool.
I rarely get THAT mad.
I wanted to knock her teeth out! 
Oh yes, it was that bad! 

I was innocently shopping.
Going about my day.
I was finished with the browsing 
so I headed up to pay.

This nasty, mid-aged woman
looked me in the eye
and what she said made my mouth drop
and made me want to cry! 

She asked if I ''get the discount''.
Of course I said ''I don't know, 
how do you get this discount? ''
and then she said...''Oh, no.''

''Forget it, I'm sure you don't.''
I knew what she meant then...
this woman was asking me
if I was a... SENIOR CITIZEN! ! 

It takes alot to get me mad
and I never ever swear
but, let's just say I bit my tongue
as I left that day from there! 

I told her she just ruined
what had been a decent day.
She gave a smirk and brushed me off
with little more to say.

Perhaps I don't look twenty...
this I will admit.
But, she was at least 60 
and looked every day of it.

How rude to ask a woman
when she's only 34
if she's a senior citizen! 
I won't shop there anymore! !


Details | Rhyme | |

Call Me Insensitive

You call me insensitive,
But I don't believe that's true;
Because, you see,
It's all about me.
It's not about you.

You say your opinion doesn’t matter,
That I’ve no respect for your point of view;
But I do if we agree,
Because it’s all about me.
It’s not about you.

You say I’ve no compassion,
No feelings for your troubles or your blues;
But none of us is issue free,
And mine are all about me;
But…not about you.

A time old adage, 
“To thine own self be true.”,
Is all about choices you see.
My choices are all about me,
And, certainly, not about you.

So, when free or forced to make your choices
You’ll understand and know it’s true 
To decide what will or will not be,
Won’t be at all about me;
It will be all about you

But special moments confront each of us,
When what matters isn’t “Me”.
And while these moments are few,
They’re not about me, not about you.
For a time, it’s all about “We.”

Yes, “…no man is an island.”
Is a valid point of view;
But if it’s not about “We”, 
Then it’s all about me.
Sorry.  It’s not about you.


Details | Lyric | |

A Piece Of Lace

[Verse-1]
I watched you walk by yesterday, and yes again you turned and looked away
You never give me the time of day, and you're always looking sad and grey
A small piece of lace from your pink dress, is all that's left of you and me
Wish I could take back yesterday, when I went astray and set you free
I wish I could find the words to say, instead of making you look away
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

[Verse-2]
I know that I still need your love, because my heart is always feeling blue
And I guess I'll never be the same, for playing around and being untrue
You gotta know this isn't what I wanted, cause now I'm always on my knees
But I can see how you like your freedom, of being with him and not with me
But baby a twist of fate's what tore us apart, and placed this look upon my face
Oh! it's still funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

[Chorus]
A piece of lace from your pink dress, keeps putting me down won't let me rest
And these cloudy skies are back today, holding my heart and soul at bay
I pray you come and take this lace, and wipe these tears from my face
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

[Verse-3]
All those things that you used to do, is what made me fall in love with you
You gave me your all once upon a time, but like a fool I up and flew
And the things I went and said that day, made you fade and drift away
I never shoulda treated you that way, cause baby I need you here today
The sun keeps hiding behind the clouds, and all I do is sit and cry
And this piece of lace holds my heart at bay, I don't know...maybe it's a sign

[Chorus]
A piece of lace from your pink dress, keeps putting me down won't let me rest
And these cloudy skies are back today, holding my heart and soul at bay
I pray you come and take this lace, and wipe these tears from my face
Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace

Oh! It's funny how a little piece of lace, makes me yearn for your embrace


Details | I do not know? | |

Pencil

I borrowed your favorite pencil
and broke it right in half
I'm sure you really needed it 
yet now its in the trash
I know I should have asked you
it just didn't cross my mind
forgive me please for I was angry
and the snap of the wood sounded pleasant
and made me feel like smiling


Details | Verse | |

Ding Dong The Wicked Witch is Dead

Globally, miners jubilantly jump for joy
Smiles on the faces of every girl and boy
The grins of a newly opened Xmas toy
Thatcher’s dead.

Trade unionists bounce along the street
Music blaring and the tapping of feet
From nurses to Bobbies still on the beat
Thatcher’s dead.

Street parties announced in the nation
Satan who brought economic inflation
Is deceased, now’s the time for elation
Thatcher’s dead.

Its times like this I’m sad I’m an atheist
And can only shout and wave my fist
And then go to the pub and get pissed
Thatcher’s dead.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

To Hurt To Say,But I'm Sorry

To Hurt to say,But I'm sorry.





Do you know how much it hurt.To see you disappear from a memories I have yet recalled.Your heart so ice cold there's nothing I can do for it.
Let me touch your chest and feel the breeze that escapes from if.
Did you know that with ever king there are rebels who dares chain him down.
Everyone person can life is determined by they way the express themselves.
And anyone can forge a fake life to get away and hide from their reality.
I'm going to be you reality has my hand reaches your face let me show you what it means to be hit by reality and take it seriously.Hopeless,Agony,Fear,Terrified, Corrupted.
I haven't had enough of your ego,of your smile,the lies that surround you.
Ha! let me see you fall and crawl don't beg it unsightly but crawl for you are the man the  shadow man.
Cling to me as i show you the grief and fear and anger I have of losing you,the only thing connecting me to you is the blood I waste on the ground in the night time wake.
Watch it fall as I cut deeper.How many times did I cry for you and you never even cared enough to answer me? 
Your faceless,heartless,cold eyes let me thank you.
Your turning my to stone your helping me write these disgusting feeling down every night.
You gave me something so powerful not even you could destroy them now these hands of course.
As I drink this  to ease my pain and free my self of this relapsing phase.Let me be happy let me be sad let me mad let me become depressed for I'm so bipolar it hurts.
How dare you trampled my pride and toss me around like a lifeless doll...Was I really your luggage you tried to throw away?
Be honest lies don't work no more for I've see everything everyone as danger has liar beggar and theive coming after me.Thank you for being my venom.
I'm sorry if I hurt you I never meant to.
Would you forgive me if I laid down to rest and not wake up again?
Please tell me.I can't help but feel like something useless in this wild game of tag and empty felt.It hurts you should know,So don't take to much time and tell me how you feel.
At least then I can dance with you.


Details | Rhyme | |

Happy Question

Today I am going to hop my way to my brother.
To tell him how I feel about not being together.
I thought I could be so kind.
I saw him by the road side and I was blind.
I could just end it all by now.
Today I tried a cow.
It really was hard to do.
Then I hired a semi crew.
I watched carefully, darn he is fast!
My name is Happy ?, I'm Easter's brother who is sad.
He painted eggs that made me jealous and bad.
I hopped one day and he threw an egg at me.
My heart became really cold that memory was key.
I finally thought of it an accident really is going to happen.
Happy Easter is going to be laugh-en.
Good to see you, I said to a mystery man.
I was told not to associate with any human.
It was my last resort.
The man had a sports car a beautiful sort.
I was desperate, now, I'm in a bunny court.


Details | Bio | |

Solitude: To Yoda, An Ode

Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.

Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.

Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.

Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.

My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.

Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Rubber Boot

Sitting staring out the window for my sister to return
An overwhelming sadness, my stomach in a churn.
She a half day at school and I have not yet started
I thought the fates were cruel that we were even parted
The sun glinting off the puddles, maybe we'll play outside
Or maybe play barbies or color if she wanted to stay inside.

From school she returns and asks mom can she go outside to play
I ask can I go and she replies "no, they're my friends and you're a baby anyway"
Two 5 year old girls waiting on the porch, am I losing my best friend?
I hide my disappointment for if I cry I will hear about it to no end
Mom tells her to wear rubber boots and change out of her school dress
It was in that moment I hatched a plan that was spiteful, I confess.

She stripped down to her underwear and began to gather up her stuff
When she couldn't find one of the boots she got herself in a huff
My sister has a temper and a full blown tantrum fully erupted
She began to yell, and started throwing things, until my dad interrupted
"This will cool you down", as he put her out on the porch and locked the door              
Standing outside in underwear, tears streaming, now with something to cry for.

Her friends look upon her, their faces register shock
If there was only a way that I could turn back the clock.
I stare again out the window, but this time at my beloved sister
My heart in so much pain that I'm sure it will certainly blister
I felt so bad, so dreadful, my stomach tied in one huge guilty knot
I slowly walk to the hamper to retrieve the boot from it's hiding spot.


*True story, vivid memory for a 3 yr old I know, but this affected me deeply.
I told her I hid the boot when we were teenagers, we had a great laugh.

For contest: "A Childhood Memory''


Details | Free verse | |

Conspiracy: Who Killed The Easter Bunny

A crowded table, all suspended in shock 
The sound of the shot dimming to a ‘knock’
Only silence, except for the marching clock
The weapon still smoking; an anonymous glock
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Loud cries arise from the elongated table,
Jack Frost is shocked, the Tooth Fairy unable
To speak whilst Santa is checking the stable
For clues on the erstwhile maidservant Mable
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

They searched for hours, called in C.S.I,
Panic set in, would the children all cry?
Sandman confirmed the bunny had died
Batman suspected somebody had lied
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Guests were quizzed, interrogations began
The mystery unfolded when Santa Claus ran,
Grabbing the pies, he tried escaping in a van
But was stopped in his tracks by superman
SANTA KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY!


Details | Rhyme | |

A Can of Peaches

She was a kleptomaniac,
His wife of thirty years.
The risks she took for stuff of little value
Had all but driven him to tears.

She had such low regard for the risk;
Always said, “If I’m caught, I’ll pay.”
“But what if they’re not satisfied?” he’d ask.
She just smiled and said, “That’ll be the day.”

When first they met, he thought her just young and wild;
And, after all, it really did no one any harm.
It was fun to watch her be so sneaky,
Kind of a sexy part of her appealing charm.

The stuff she stole was so petty,
But she seemed to have such fun.
After all, it wasn’t for the stuff she stole,
But for the thrill of what she’d done.

As time had passed, he had finally realized
It was a sickness, not just a game to play.
She’d steal something almost everywhere she went,
And she went somewhere almost every day.

So, it had gotten old and tiresome, completely out of hand.
His pleas of “Get some help.” she would ignore;
Tho’ she might have thought better of it
If she had known what was in store.

While grocery shopping, she tried to steal a can of peaches.
They caught her, called the cops, sent her off to jail.
She called her embarrassed and disgusted husband, 
Who resentfully made arrangements for her bail.

When her court date came, he went along;
And when her case came up, he was by her side.
As the judge reviewed her charges, it seemed to him
That the judge’s patience was being sorely tried.

“Madam" the judge said angrily, "…a single can of peaches?
It’s obvious you have no desperate financial need.
You are wasting my court’s time with such farce.
So, Madam...how do you plead?"

She feigned regret. She bowed her head.
Surely such a ploy might change his attitude.
“Guilty, your Honor.  I am so sorry.”
He growled, “Save your platitudes.”

Then he asked, “How many peaches were in the can?”
“Your Honor, I believe that there were ten."
“Madam, I intend to teach you a lesson this day.
You’ll think twice before you steal again.

You’ll serve three days in county jail for each peach in that can.”
Her husband saw his chance.  He said, “Your Honor, if you please,
Before you pass her final sentence, you should know….
She also stole a can of peas!"


Details | Pantoum | |

Penny Wise

“A penny for your thoughts,” he said.
I took his petty penny.
Without a thought within my head,
I did not give him any.

I took his pretty penny
And added it to mine.
I did not give him any,
On candy I could dine.

I added it to mine,
Laughed at him when he cried.
On candy I could dine.
I wasn’t sorry I had lied.

Laughed at him when he cried
Without a thought within my head,
I wasn’t sorry I had lied.
“A penny for your thoughts,” he said.



Details | I do not know? | |

Im so Very Sorry

I brought you all here today
For something very important I have to say
An apology of some sorts
Lets start with you the oldest of course
I’m sorry that you don’t shut up
I’m sorry that your such a klutz
I’m sorry you have no brain
Oh an I’m sorry that you are you
But most of all I’m sorry I love you
Now who is next
Yes you in the shorts
I’m sorry that things don’t go your way
I’m sorry that everything is a game
I’m sorry if you can never be serious
I’m sorry that your delirious 
Yes many things are very wrong with you
Oh and I’m sorry I love you
Hmm next let me see
The youngest one of the ones I see
Yes I am sorry for who you are
I’m sorry for your life thus far
I’m sorry that you complain so much
I’m sorry that you mess up
I’m sorry that you cant think straight
I’m sorry you also have no brain
But most of all I’m sorry that I love you
Oh this felt good yes indeed
But oh oh oh
I’m sorry I love you three!!!

*Dedicated to all the people I love no matter what*


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

A Letter To My First Crush

A LETTER TO MY FIRST CRUSH My Dearest Kevin My hands shake nervously as I write this letter The fountain pen drips the ink in heart-shapes Pieces of my heart as it reach out to you I just want you to know that loving you isn’t easy My dozen of Harlequins and my entire Mill @ Boon collection Have'nt prepared me To deal with a player like you I heard it through the grapevine, That you are heartbreaker and womanizer With only one thing on your adolescence mind My grandmother always told me, that Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free My grandma is a wise woman More like a heroine in my eyes I am the heroine of my life More like a Nancy Drew without a clue on how to love you I am never satisfy, I am curious And mysterious However I am very chary Kind of gal ^ I do believe that I am in love with you today However, I might hate you tomorrow Because you never know with a secret admirer To the man I love today They are nothing more than I can say. I will wait for your reply my love


Details | I do not know? | |

A DRUNK DAY

nice clothes
nice shoes
couple of girls
but i got a main boo

nice car
on 22's
lift kit on it
it's another 4in boost

hop out
see my homies
it ain't my forte
but all them smoking

big whip
car full
been drinkin since 1
n yet we still partying

fitted cap
yankee logo
girls say im fly
now they reaching for my "you know"

wake up
hangover
a hurricane went through the house
thanks mr Hugo

team liqour
super sick
i know i was texting
but dont remember this chick

she mad
im laughing
she says im an asshole anyways
i say i'm sorry but it was just another drunk day


Details | I do not know? | |

FEAR!!!!!

I RUN from FEAR.

I HUNT for FEAR.

I HIDE in FEAR.

I FIGHT cause of FEAR.

I'm FAR from you.

I'm SCARED cause of you.

You're the FEAR that I HUNT.

You're the FEAR that I FIGHT.

You're the FEAR that SCARED me for LIFE.

*Comment if you have any thought and if you like it. oh and some of the poems i write arn't 
always my feelings. their some times just to get through other people so they can have 
something to read that just fit's them.*

                                              -Angel4eva23


Details | Ballade | |

guy on the airplane

Guy on the airplane
I'm sorry I fell asleep on you.
I don't care to give you my name.

I've been up since three,
now staring out the window
I'm about to sleep.
Last thing I know
is I was leaning towards you.

Felt a nudge
heard some laughter
woke up to you
looking down at me 
and I'm sorry.

Guess your shoulder
was calling my name
and I answered...ha

These seats are too small
need some more space
and I've always been a tad bit selfish.

Never been the kind to get too embarrassed
but by the third time
I was feeling reckless.

You finally gave in
you finally gave in
just let my sleepy head rest 
on your shoulder
just let my sleep head rest 
on your shoulder. 

You'll have a story 
to tell the office
when you get to Georgia

and I'll have a story 
to tell my friends 
that I really shouldn't travel alone...

Guy on the airplane
so sorry I fell asleep on you...


Details | Rhyme | |

Drippity drip drip

Take me there I don't care Touch my hair Eat this pear!!! I am bare Want to share? Do you care? I am bear I'll let you stare Don't go there By the chair Or on that stair? Your skin is fair You look like Cher Come to my lair But pay my fare Drippity drip drip


Details | Light Poetry | |

Cough Drops And Applesauce

Cough Drops and applesauce 
Is what the doctor gave to me 
I don't mean to complain 
But in my side 
I feel a great big pain 
And doctors orders I'll oblige
 It is bad enough 
Every day is getting tough 
And now I am just out of luck 
Stuck with nothing but a cough 

It's been driving me insane 
Living here in all this pain 
It has made my life a very hard thing 
I really don't want to complain 
But I've been left out in the pouring rain 
And tomorrow is another day 
Same to come, same old way  


Details | Sonnet | |

I'm Sorry, Billy Shakespeare

I despise sonnets, and they despise me.
So obnoxious with their fourteen line rhymes.
I’d rather be attacked by a banshee
Than be subjected to my mind’s rhyme-crimes.

Fingers tapping to the ten syllables.
Dead to the iambic pentameter.
Now I’m praying for the running of bulls.
A better poet would make my freezer.

o, I know Shakespeare would be so ashamed
To read the words that lay upon this page.
They do not stand to the man they are named.
A Shakespearean sonnet on rampage.

I know the man himself would not agree,
But thank God for rhyming dictionary.


Details | Free verse | |

The Eternal Infernos of Pain

Front and Center!
Those Gates adorned with pearls in Heaven.
White angels soaring. 

If by chance, 
Ordered to enter;
Through St. Peter's Permission; 
I demand from you chancellor; 
A swift insanity plea, submission. 
For this troubled soul is plagued, 
By vast displays of wicked ways. 

None lost. 
Courtesy of meticulous examination. 
Love lost. 

Diligence pending Investigation. 
Key Evidence, perpetually documented 
In Sin's ominous catalog. 
Rebuke my Judge! 
For multitudes of shortcomings, 
He failed to ascertain. 

Moreover, present was He, 
When Satan drafted me. 
First round,
Pick three.
His Fantasy League...
"The Eternal Infernos of Pain" 

JS Lambert



Details | Limerick | |

Was It Somethiggg I Said

They're quickly away from my side.
My sneezing they just can't abide.
I've blown my nose off.
Peppered them with my cough.
Now I'm here all alone on this ride! 


for ~Gwendolen~'s Sneezing Limerick contest











Details | I do not know? | |

I'm sorry, your honour

Grey was his wig and angry was his mood
On that fateful day I served him his food.

The sudden silence in his court was deafening and
Oh, it remained so till the very end.

He wasn't prepared to listen to me
Even when all things proved my innocence.
Lawyer Hammond, thanks for making him now see.
Later, I'll apologize for saying the first letters vertically!


Details | Couplet | |

The Doggone Dog

How I got here, I’m not really sure, the reasons aren’t always real clear,
But somehow I manage to live in the dog house most of the days of the year.

She said she felt blotted and chubby today; did I think she was getting too fat?
Don’t worry dear, there is nothing to fear, I think you look always like that.

She had tears in her eyes, starting to cry; said I don’t listen to her any more,
I’m sorry dear, what were saying, I was trying to hear the football score.

She says I don’t love her, not any any more, not like when we both were kids,
I'm sorry Honey, of course I do, its just that I forgot to put down the lid.

So once again Rover you need to move over, Daddy is sleeping here tonight,
I don’t mean to upset her, I try to get better, but the words never come out just right.