Submit Your Poems
Get Your Premium Membership

Funny Political Poems | Funny Poems About Political

These Funny Political poems are examples of Funny poems about Political. These are the best examples of Funny Political poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

If you don't find the poem you want here, try our incredible, super duper, all-knowing, advanced poem search engine.

Details | Rhyme | |

Hey, That's My Money

Well, I see that Congress is proposin' another trillion dollar spree!
Those inept buffoons must think money grows upon a tree!
The treasury is crankin' out bales of twenty-dollar bills,
Doin' their part to cure (and inflate) the nation's many ills!

Funds were 'loaned' to help carmakers, now they're hollerin' fer more!
A ton of dough was 'loaned' to banks, but ain't nobody keepin' score!
Millions was designated to help home foreclosures to abate.
Where has my money gone?  I've seen minimal results to date!

Funds are proposed fer more sand fer the beaches of New Joisey,
And city officials want a water park out west in frigid Boise!
Frenzied lobbyists are scurryin' about fer a portion of the pork,
To build an emergency landin' strip on the Hudson in New York!

Money is probably well-spent fer roads, bridges and agin' sewers,
But spare me the cost of subsidizin' sports arenas and sozzled brewers.
Lack of foresight by the banks and politicians got us in this mess,
Now they cover their boondoggles with my money, nonetheless!

Hordes of politicians gleefully gather at the bottomless trough,
Elbowin' others fer largesse they claim will make us better off.
Is there no end to compensatory spendin' and open-ended lendin'?
Hey!  That's my money you fellers are so very inept at spendin'!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Light Poetry | |

Fruit Loops

You know we’re very poor, of that we have certainly, never denied.
Then the ‘Obama-I-don’t-Care’ gave us another whammy, Yes, indeed! Oh My!
Now, it’s Peanut butter we will have for supper, and even that we’ll spread thin.
And the little birdies we gave a cup of bird seed, occasionally, when we dared…

Well, this morning they got a handfull of Fruit Loops, and they were really stale!
With the sugar they have in galore, now birdies are doing cartwheels at my door.
All that crazy energy, they’re acting just like my kids. Hey! Is that my old phone?
They’re texting wildly! Not watching where they go! Hey! There’s a tree! Oh No!

Some are doing cartwheels… While others are staggering back and forth!
But bird seeds not an option, under Obamas new plan, now! Don’t you know!
We ate it all last week, on our free cheese, from the Food Pantry, Not! A! Joke!
He was supposed to make it affordable, now he put food… WAY out the door!

Hey! We WERE the poor ones! Now we’re worse, as he runs away! By Darn!
OOOPPPS! Maybe Fruit Loops weren’t such a good idea, after all, I surmise!
The Dirty Birdies, are walking upside down, in circles, saying they want more!
If only they had hands! I’d get out my camera, but I hocked it, for the food store!

We had good insurance before the ‘Obama-I-Don’t-Care’! But Now it’s gone…
And our small paycheck was cut in half! So I stopped my cable!… Well, Darn!
Hubby walks miles to work, in the snow, backwards, no shoes, uphill! It’s true!

Excuse me! I have to go! For it’s off to the Food Pantry, with others I am bound!
I’d impeach that silly idiot! But I’d rather, he had to eat, just like us, at our house!
Hey! Maybe that explains his crazy actions… Take his Fruit Loops away, By Gosh!
And when you’re done, make sure he uses the same ‘Obama-I-Don’t-Care’… As us!

Then take away that raise from Congress… to fill the Food Pantries… Yea! I SAY!
When you’re done! Remember to vote Them ALL OUT! For what they have done today!
Then send them Dumpster Diving with me… Because they’ll need to learn the art!
Darn! What Now? Oh Oh! Those little Dirty Birdies… Have learned how to fart!


Details | Limerick | |

Guiding Star O'er Washington

I pray a  bright star will shine in the air

    O'er Washington to guide some wise men there

        Bringing gifts of commonsense

            And harmony to dispense

                To a nation that is in disrepair

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Burlesque | |

A Hummerous Life

In times like this it’s pertinent to stroke the longest cord
for hummer is impertinent and seldom brings discord.
Each slippery politician who runs yelling, “Come on Board!”
is asking for some hummer from constituents lapboards.

He wants them on their knees paying, for taxing fills his hoard
Just a little hummer raises bundles and gets Johnny Boys accord.
And, if you think it just ain’t right to make a joke of Nancy*
then let me tell you baby, your hummers just not fancy!

Hell, you have to laugh at what they say, and their fancy stroking
for if you took them seriously, even Heimlich would be choking!
So, just remember next time your party yells "Come on Board!"
that if you do, you must expect the meaning is untoward.


*Nancy / Nancy boy - It is the opposite of being hard. 
In cold weather a nancy boy would dress up in a coat,
hat, gloves and scarf and a hard guy would wear a t-shirt. 

*hummer a slang word for a type of sex
** humour/hummer it's a play on words


Details | Rhyme | |

Joe The Plumber

Joe The Plumber announced he was runnin' fer Congress the other day!
Congratulations, Joe!  You the man!  Fer you I shout, "Hooray!"
Tell 'em like it is as you did with Obama - show 'em you won't be outdone!
And, Joe, take yer plumbers' kit - you'll need it to repair the damage done!

Include screwdrivers to tighten the screws on higher taxes and spendin',
And yer biggest wrench to shut off the flow of governmental lendin'!
Take yer solderin' arn so as to solidify warm relationships with yer peers,
And a pipe cutter to cut off zany filibusterin' that is tiresome to yer ears!

You'll need a hundred rolls of duct tape to stem the flow of inane babble,
And gallons of Liquid Plummer to unclog the stalemate of that useless rabble!
A good pipe wrench will come in handy to tighten the discipline in that 'joint',
And a twelve-foot stepladder to rise above that rotten mob to make yer point!

Joe, show 'em what real 'change' is meant to be with a new 'shower' of hope!
Flush political correctness down the john that's gotten us on this slippery slope!
Be sure to take yer roto-rooter and clean the sewer that is Washington, DC!
Use yer most powerful hose to flush the whole mucked-up mess out to sea!

Robert L. Hinshaw,CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Couplet | |

Living the Dream

My nightmare is so tangible...so vividly I dream,
The dream, it feels so true to me...reality it seems.

Exhaust and smoke are all I breathe...the air is full of smog...
The job I do is thankless toil, but I work it like a dog.

There's mercury in the fish I eat...there're toxins in my food...
And drugs, they are a constant scourge...myriads for every mood.

Bipolar is my government...a house divided 'tis...
And corporations drive both sides...in the pockets of "Big Biz".

The icecaps, they are melting...the sea is rising, too.
Pandas, condors, polar bears -- empty cages at the zoo.

My money ne'er seems quite enough...I'm always out of cash...
My freedom fled when I wed my bride...(live I under the lash).

"Entertainment"? Reality TV...maybe some vampire shows...
Or idjits becoming household names for being beachfront "ho's".

People clamor "climate change" from the seats of S.U.V.'s,
And bitter news on the honey front...what's killing all the bees?

Politicians spending more...we go deeper in the red.
Opinions dressed as "news" abound...is journalism dead?

Cell phones are ubiquitous...conversation's endangered now...
And "Kardashians" are famous girls..but who knows why or how?

How strange my twisted psyche is t'make real what must be fake...
Now'f only I could find some way to get myself to wake.


Written on November 27th, 2012
By Daniel Beus (Rebel Sun)


Details | Rhyme | |

Electile Dysfunction

I voted for Ronald McDonald for Governor
My local politician said that was rude
But if I had a choice of clowns
I wanted one with food
Now our Congressman’s campaign manager was Pinocchio
He thought he was very lucky
But when the campaign manager faced southwest
His nose was in Kentucky.
After watching all the election ads
I’ve been doubled up with gas
So when you’re done kissing babies 
Politicians can kiss my (Darn! Almost said it again)


Details | Burlesque | |

Rice and Beans

I do not want to eat rice and beans any more
I want a new meal
I'm ready to throw this pot out the door
I'm sure I've  had my fill
Rice and beans is my poor folks food
You know when you barely have money
After four days it taste like it's already been chewed
But you smile and eat it like it's sweet honey
I wish I had a grilled burger smothered in cheese with fries on the side
Or a roasted turkey with cornbread stuffing and a side of apple pie
But instead I dread I have rice and beans to keep me fed
through the week
Black beans, red beans, pinto beans I will cook until my house starts to reek!
No more beans! No more rice! 
I need more money to buy something nice
One day I will have my steak and potatoes and my mac and cheese
But until then, no more rice and beans please!


Details | Limerick | |

I'll Tell You A Secret

At best, life is just mass confusion
Finding what's real and what's just an illusion
Speak of politics.  Do I dare?
When finding the truth is so rare.
Because politicians are just an optical illusion!


Details | Lyric | |

The pen is mightier than the sword

The pen is mightier than the sword

What is it about some people?
Have they no minds of all
To me their puppets on a string
As they follow all the rules
Whether they make sense at all
That’s all beside the point
They believe all that their leaders say
When it comes to the simple joint!

Our leaders they have called the shots
On this and all that matters
They come to us on the TV set
And I hear their foolish chatter
Our premier with pigeon mind
Was heard to say one day
That cannabis is a killer drug
Or almost any way.

Now I have smoked for forty years
And not once have I ever
Suffered from this gentle weed
These leaders might be clever
Or think they are, through their position
But to me they’re simply fools
But they give me cause to laugh out loud
They’re so damned comical.

23 July 2013 @ 1133hrs.


Details | Clerihew | |

Double U Mitt Romney

.


What the Quack!
I dont want my poems in Poem Zoo!
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack
Quack









.


Details | Limerick | |

Cutting the Cheese - Something's Rotten in Wisconsin

In the land of Cheeseheads, there came a call
Saying I’m a big donor, best of them all;
Just give me the scoop,
Some real union poop;
Oh Governor, how you did fall.


Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?


Details | Monoku | |

Alien-nation

One more alien... an extra terrestrial. Bloody foreigners.


Details | Clerihew | |

Georgie Bush

Georgie Bush has been pilloried relentlessly by the liberal press!

    He's been blamed for everything from (A)ids to this nation's (Z)aniness!

        Too bad they cannot remove the log from their biased eye,

            And see the miserable fix we are in with the current guy!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Clerihew | |

Gandhi

Mahatma Gandhi
Civil disobedience as modus operandi
The British, oh so superior
Ended up on their right royal posterior!

Diana Dalton
13 Nov 2012


Details | Rhyme | |

Chickens Have Rights Too

Well, I read in the paper today that Senator Feinstein has again gone berserk!
With the plethora of problems we have, she wants to give chickens a perk!
Never mind that millions of souls are out of work and on food stamps rely!
She opts to pursue the plight of chickens ignoring the needs of we small "fry!"

Seems she deems chickens' cages far too small for them to flap their wings!
The Constitution provides for freedom of speech and religion among other things,
But danged if I was aware that chickens had any such Constitutional rights!
This is taking our precious freedoms to unexplored and dangerous heights!

Perhaps "Maam" Feinstein is wooing votes from chicken pressure groups,
Crying "foul" for the right to improve living conditions in their cozy coops!
Her legislation increases fowls' living area to 144 square inches of space!
She deems the way egg-laying hens now exist is an utter disgrace!

Let me hasten to say that for all of God's creatures I have great compassion,
But the nation is headed for Hades!  Must the quandary of hens be our passion?
Her statute requires eggs to be labeled so we'll know how hens were raised.
And the size of henhouses must be increased!  La-de-da and the Lord be praised!

Senator, may I suggest that you find something more productive to do,
Such as protecting our borders and providing for the hungry and homeless too!
I don't recall that chickens can vote!  (Perhaps that is open for future debates!)
Yours is a "half-cracked" plan being dished out on our overly-saturated plates!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Haiku | |

a debate between them

a debate between 
Tim Pawlenty and Mitt Romney--
Gomer Pyle and Sarge?


Details | Haiku | |

WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY

Talking head replay
On all night and on all day
What does the Fox say

Chickens be alarmed
The news alert declares doom
Coop is in danger

O'Reily goes woof
Hannity goes bananas
Megyn goes meow

What does the Fox say
Whatever Roger Ailes decides
Many voices one truth

*For fun, a different play on "Fox"
  
2-28-14

Contest: What Does the Fox Say 
Sponsored by: Skat-A
Form: Haiku
Favorite Sound: Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!


Details | Clerihew | |

Pierre Elliot Trudeau - a Clerihew

The flamboyant Pierre Elliot Trudeau, Canada’s 15th Prime Minister, known for saying fuddle-duddle you know. Also established the Charter of Rights and Freedom, Wish he was still alive, we surely need him.
Written October 9, 2012 For Andrea Dietrich’s contest “a fresh batch of Clerihews”


Details | Rhyme | |

I want to Throttle That Darned Axolotl!

I have a friend called Bob Beaubobble
who trains unusual pets to juggle
assorted items frequently fumbled
by freakish fish or octibumbles

This hobby made him mucha dinero
which he put in the bank ‘with interest’ to grow  
but while he was filling in all of the forms
One creature escaped from under his arms

Unseen in the dark, in the bank late at night
It bypassed security through the intranet site
And juggled and gambled to its hearts content
playing with our pennies until they were spent

Red-faced officials met the press in a panic
George Bush sent more troops to Afghan and Iraq
World leaders drew circles around toxic debt
then pointed their fingers to the country that started it...

The slimy old salamander sucks his cigar
as he drives to his office in a luxury car.
CEO though all see he's a feckless axolotl
without any shame, just a shed load of bottle.

He's safe in the knowledge, while his bank has been drained
A huge bonus is scheduled to keep him retained
and cash will be pumped from the taxpayers vains 
soon he’ll start things all over and gamble again.


Details | Limerick | |

Watched by Men in Black

My phone is being tapped; I’m sure of it
I called a government guy a nitwit
     Why did I post that blog?
     Am I in such a fog?
Perhaps I should have called him a half-wit

The letter to the editor was hot
Just look at how many comments it got
     Not one soul disagreed
     It started a stampede
All wanting to lash out at the big shot

Men in black are outside wearing a grin
Now I fear everyone who isn’t kin
     Strange cameras appeared
     At home – they look so weird
I believe paranoia has set in



*Entry for Susan’s: Big Brother-Who’s Watching You and Why” contest.


Details | I do not know? | |

Why Are Church Doors Locked

WHY ARE CHURCH DOORS LOCKED?

I have been a member for many years. I attend when ever I can.  I pray and pay.
I guess, I took it for granted, but not anymore. I must stand up for all that want to know.  For all that need to know. No! I am not a  hero, but I would like to know. 

There was a time in my youth, when it was un-thinkable to lock a church door. Did congress pass a law, while I was sleeping?  Should I call the sheriff?  Why didn’t the pastor tell me?  Does he know? Did he lock the front door, side door, and even the back door? Does God know, the doors at the church are locked?  Saints, we are in big trouble.

Okay! Let’s get serious. Are you trying to keep something locked out? Are you trying to keep something locked in? This could be a sin. There are two individuals in the congregation that I can ask.  They certainly must know answer. After all, their name is Brother Lock and Brother Smith. Yes! The Lock Smith Brothers. 

Now if the Devil is locked up, when I leave church, I’m okay with that. You say, I should not worry about this.  Well! It is now at the top my list. I want to know more. It’s time to stop church crime.  

Dr. "G"


Details | Light Poetry | |

Kinda

It’s kinda silly, kinda sad
watching a recently
re-elected politician
trying to kiss
his own ass.


Details | Narrative | |

Office of the Vice Poem

The Vice Poem shall serve,
without regard to need
or time of day,
being in line of succession,
should the Poem be 
unable to fulfill its ditty

The Vice Poem will be 
required to preside 
over the sonnet
and break any ties
that come upon it

As is customary,
the Vice Poem shall be
required once a term
to debate the opposition
on the respective merits
of poetry versus prose

The Vice Poem shall
be sent, on a moments notice
to travel wide and far
to deliver the eulogy
for dead, leading authors,
and to do so with euphony

The Vice Poem can
anticipate being the object
of scorn and ridicule
from the wider citizenry
regarding the merits of 
being a second rate poem 
while anticipating to
someday achieve eloquence

© Goode Guy 2013-01-21


Details | Haiku | |

What Does The Rat Say

What does the rat say?
“Vote for me for Senator,
I am a good rat.”


Details | Clerihew | |

God That Taste Like Rubber

<                                      Mr Thomas Adams
                                        Weaver of the gum  Wham !
                                        Thought his Chicle
                                        Would fit better on my motor ~ cicle






Entry For 
John Freeman's 
Giggle Poetry
G.L. All


Details | Limerick | |

Just eat it

When with the bayou they're messing
BP says, "Oh what a blessing,
The mix will be fine
Add vinegar from wine
To make a fine salad dressing!"

Author's note: In the end; BP will pay close to nothing, and the rest of us will be stuck with 
the cost of the environmental damage.  To the anti-government regulation libertarians: this 
lack of reason in law enables rich and powerful companies to get away with theft beyond 
imagination.  Death to the Tea Party!    


Details | Free verse | |

Roll Call

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION








Details | Free verse | |

Laughter is Indeed the Best Medicine On Hand

A day’s of hard work,
and serious issues to handle,
though some hiccups may arise,
in order to erase these hiccups,
we need to have some fun,
and laughter is only the best medicine,
to cure on these hiccups hands on,
for this, 
we may not travel afar,
just take a look at Indian politics,
quite laughable as it is,
wherein a number of issues,
had come to the forefront,
mostly related to the cap on cylinders,
and the FDI in retail,
wherein a number of politicians,
cast a number of political ambitions,
of becoming the National leader of our Motherland,
but have no concern for the citizens,
living in here,
wherein the bridge between the poor and the rich,
gets wider and wider,
it is not the pursuit of political ambitions, 
which the citizens want in here,
it is the solutions to various problems,
which they want,
and as such there is no politician,
as fit enough for this purpose,
are they really fit enough,
is the question and as laughable as it is,
it is time for the younger generations,
to take the plunge into politics,
wherein they need to cast over their fear,
and political apprehensions, 
and save their dear Motherland India,
from all troubles,
and to make their Motherland into a Paradise!!


Details | Limerick | |

A Gallon

“Gas: below three bucks a gallon!”
The media’s gleefully howlin’
-	But let’s not forget
-	They’re screwin’ us yet
If it’s over a buck, they’re a felon!


Details | Clerihew | |

MADAME MINISTER



Madam minister, Hina Rabbani Khar
luscious mom and diplomatic superstar
her famed Hermes bag in tow,
mystery shrouds her love-life's status quo.








Hina Rabbani Khar, Pakistan's young and beautiful foreign minister,married and mother of two, well covered by the press for her looks and use of expensive branded accessories. Recently her alleged romantic involvement with the heir apparent of Pakistan's ruling party, young and dashing Bilawal Bhutto, has created sensational news bits.


Details | Limerick | |

Phillip Buster

Written by Gail DeBole

Phillip Buster could fluster a room -
Full of men whose anger ballooned
     When came his turn to speak,
     Congress snored for a week,
All dreaming he'd peter out soon.



Gail's note: Filibuster - Type of parliamentary procedure.
Right of the individual to extend debate allowing the lone
member to delay or prevent a vote on a proposal. -Wikipedia


Details | Diamante | |

Senator Foghorn

~Senator Foghorn~ (Diamante) Statesman honest, visionary working, serving, caring principled, dutiful, pragmatic, bureaucratic wheeling, dealing, conniving wonkish, corrupt Politician


Details | Lyric | |

The Obama Song

Chorus:
             Barack Obama
             Barack Obama
             He's the U.S.A.'s own Dalai Lama.

             Barack Obama
             Barack Obama
             He's the guy who's here to save yer Momma.

Verse 1:

Oh yeah Obama's here an' he's really cool
Gonna tell yer kids to pay attention in school
Gonna make us all follow the Golden Rule
'Cause he knows Michelle ain't gonna suffer no fools!

He's an all-around, straightup nice kinda guy
Who don't get upset when ya scream "You Lie!"
He cares about the Earth and he cares about the sky
Gives ya cash for the clunkers you were stupid to buy.

Chorus

Verse 2:

He's gonna stim-u-late us, gonna spread the wealth,
Gonna write out a prescription for the nation's health,
Gonna come down on Insurance like a big black Stealth
Gonna take those stem cells down off the shelf!

He's gonna see we win in Afghanistan,
Someway, somehow - without a plan.
When yer rude to da cops he is da Man
Who'll give ya both beers an' make it right again.

Chorus

Verse 3:

He's appointed more Czars than the U.S.S.R.,
Gonna raise the mileage on yer car
Gonna lower those emissions both near and far
And do it lookin' snappy like a First Exec Star.

Can't answer "yes" or "no", it takes a paragraph
To get to the point, then it's good for a laugh
The Right hates everybody servin' on his Staff
- But their side of the Aisle makes most of the gaffes.

Chorus

Verse 4:

Is there anything Obamaman cannot do?
The assertions are fantastic; some may even be true.
He beat out Mrs. Clinton right outta da blue,
Now he's lookin' out for me and he's lookin' out for you.

If his ears were any bigger he could teach himself to fly,
But despite his geekiness he's still a heckuva guy
His heart is fulla Hope, his head is in the sky
An' if you give him grief Ms. Pelosi'll make you cry.

                                   WORD!

Chorus et finis


Details | Rhyme | |

Lions will be lions


Humiliation occurs
When pigs and monkeys roars
How a pig became a lion?
How , How a monkey roars?
That's when you stop saying NO
Humiliation occurs
When the lions are here
When the lions onshore
Pigs will be pigs
A monkey will stand for
A monkey , no less , no more



Details | Burlesque | |

Over The Age of Fifty This One is for You

Those damn old people with their applesauce, and need for retirement
I giggle at the sizes adult diapers come in,
They haven't worked hard enough for me yet,
We need more cotton picked more tobacco chopped
And more polyester pants
AARP sounds like a senior citizens sorority to me
Oh! how I chide in laughter,
Nothing like a hip replacement with no coverage really tickles the funny bone
I was talking to my grandma and she believes the government does her wrong
But how is that; when you can't even remember what happened yesterday
For all you know they have given you lower prescription payments
I'm snortling to the point I have urinated in my pants
Just remind myself to pick up grandpa's extra big boy bladder briefs
They shouldn't be able to live off of years and years of labor by social security
Besides if they can remember back in their day, they can remember to go get...
A JOB! and while they're talking 'bout the olden days, would you like fries with that?


Details | Lyric | |

Sixteen Trillion Going on Seventeen

Our debt’s sixteen trillion going on seventeen
Obama it’s time to think

Better beware coz your new health care
Is putting us on the brink

Our debt’s sixteen trillion going on seventeen
No reading between the lines

We are indebted and surely headed
For a dreadful decline

Totally unprepared are you,
To cut government spending

You’re unfair and narcissistic
With you there’s no happy ending

You need someone older and wiser
Telling you what to do

But seventeen trillion going on eighteen
Is more your cup of brew

  -----------------------

I owe sixteen trillion going on seventeen
I know that I’m naïve

Cronies I meet tell me I’m sweet
And willingly we deceive

I owe sixteen trillion going on seventeen
Innocent of why that rose

I think it was Bush giving me dirty looks
My how my nose grows

Totally unprepared am I
To face a world of reality

Crafty and sly and scared am I
If they learn the truth about me

I need someone older and wiser
But don’t tell me what to do

Coz seventeen trillion going on eighteen
Is in store for all of you.


A little parody where 'face the music' meets 'The Sound of Music'


Details | Free verse | |

Reflections: Intellectualism

To Dine, To Die;
Conversations spiral
While thunderous eyes
Grasp concepts to recycle.

Constant debt crisis
A political paradox
Grating social devices
Over the sorting of socks.

Pseudo-analysis
An endless groan
Argumental paralysis
The debate grants no throne.

Existentialism
Over a roast
Potatoes won't listen
To who talks the most.

"That point is so interesting"
The floor is open for chat
"What is real?" not a thing
"Meow" adds the cat.


Details | Free verse | |

The Switch Up

Contractual agreements with publisher caused DELETION


~JSLambert


Details | Limerick | |

Hillary

Hillary Clinton has been under fire
This was not her desire
There's something on the table
She'll do that if she's able
Wonder why she just doesn't retire  


Details | I do not know? | |

Fish fizzling out

What the fish
Cannot do with force
It does with stashed funds

Fishy final throw
Of the dice

Fact
The fish is
Running short of water

Facing the funny billboard:
Fishy Fish and Facts 

Every flying bird
- sly and sleek-
Ultimately lands
Somewhere somehow


Details | Free verse | |

JSA BLUES

Reject letter sent by post. Applications online ignored. Too old Too young. Inexperienced. Do not drive. It must be the JSA blues. Countless jobs for the unemployed. Just search and see. It must be true the papers say. This Government would not lie. Reject letter sent by post. Applications online ignored. Too old Too young. Inexperienced. Do not drive. It must be the JSA blues. Take any job you can get. Work 80 hours a week. It's for your well being, the papers say. This Government would not lie. Reject letter sent by post. Applications online ignored. Too old Too young. Inexperienced. Do not drive. It must be the JSA blues. Take minimum wage if you must. That is all you are worth. You will thank us some day the papers say. This Government would not lie. Reject letter sent by post. Applications online ignored. Too old Too young. Inexperienced. Do not drive. It must be the JSA blues. I have the JSA blues This Government would not lie. The JSA blues. Government would not lie. JSA Blues. Would not lie. JSA blues. Not lie. JSA blues. LIE!


Details | Acrostic | |

Most Politicians Are:

Laudable, fine, upstanding folk.  
Year on year they shoulder the yolk.
Illustrious and kind,
Noble and refined,
Genial, with no wish to provoke.

Sincere as sincere as can be.
Honest – well, as honest as me.
Intelligent and witty,
Trustworthy and gritty.
Shame all this is pure fantasy.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Awe Your Full Of It

<         twenty twelve

                  What The Hell !

                                       
                         cosmic conjuction
                                       
                               What's it's Function !


                                         ecologic collapse

                                                   Only Perhaps !


                                                             galactic beings

                                                                     I've Been Seeing !


                                                                             think it's all phony
                                                                         
                                                                                      And Full Of Balony  !

Entry For Gareth James's
2012 Contest
G.L. All


                                                                                              
 
                                            

                             


Details | Limerick | |

Female newscaster

Female Newscaster
Written by: Catherine Reinke


Pretty faces
Boob jobs too
silicone lips
and higher shoes.
Porno stars,
contrived
cue cards.
Network news 
has gone to fair!

Lying teeth.
Blinding white.
What today 
is our plight?

Cleavage low.
Ratings soar.
Cannot let
 audience boar.

Murder and terror .
On she reads,
security level
red, orange, yellow.

Day by day
freedoms stolen.
Freedoms lost.
Freedom now
long forgot.

Centerfold women

On CNN, 
foxy news and MSN.

Walter contrite
he’s not more.
replaced femme fatal
through news doors.

Buxom beauties.
Youthful cuties.
News once read
by somber heads
now is told
by sexy dames in red.
Seems my husband
to his bed
take those newscasters 
he has said
to his bed?
Yes, he said
tight hot bodies
dressed in red.

Give me news 
and give it often.
Put Ted Kopple
in his coffin.

Easy chair
a couple of beers
 all my news
I want to hear
from pretty faces
boob jobs too 
silicone lips
 and higher shoes.


Details | Limerick | |

Quit Wasting My Time { Edit }

<                               One by one they'll shall roll on and come
                                 Like soldiers marching to beaten drums
                                 Echoes  are acknowledge
                                 Cast across thy arched bridge
                                 Haste makes waste even for everyone




Inspired By
Carolyn Devonshire's Contest
Follower Or Leader
GL All


Details | Free verse | |

Poetic Predators

She wolf of the poetic world who run
and struggle to maintain her dignity 

Our words, our dreams are falling to pieces 
By, the predators of this time period 
We are the prey for  the fearful ones 
Who scrolls and display rude comments? 

Deep within as you lament over our poems 
 we rise up stronger than ever
Composing rhyme, lyric and prose 
Unlike your hatred about likes and dislikes 
Narrative poems portrays the truth 
We shine, we meddled, and somehow, we win 
We are stronger; death with dignity is a poet emblems 

Pieces of our past anthology anguish you 
Your Savage behavior bites you each time; 
We compose; you pursue 
We are the death of your souls 

Mr. Sleepless White Nights 
Your predators, you editors
Are you addicted to your inner critic
 
We have our rights 
You confounded wretch night stalkers. 



Details | Rhyme | |

Feb 14

chocolate hearts and candies in boxes
play their part in having me nauseous 
passion a project for the masses 
roses in package, romance the passage
red, white and pink, fed right in the link
bed time in sync, just what you think
that one day out of three sixty five
your partner should get recognized
consumption used to fortify
love thatll last the rest of our lives
trickier than lovers that are porcupines
a sort of lie, could put a hole in your heart
bigger than a quarters size
beyond the balloons, heart strings in the loom
the only thoughts i consume, 
is i need a sun with my moon


Details | Lyric | |

Imagine All The BS

I realize this might offend people but some of it is my views and some of it is just having fun. But overall it is just in fun.


Imagine there's no Obama
You cant if you tried
And he didn't give our gas line
To the chinese.. sigh
Imagine all the people voting blindly

Imagine there's no countries
We're not too far off
None of our freedom's remain
Under sharia law
Well then its praise allah or rest in peace

You, you may say 
I'm a dreamer, but Obama's got it done
USA's going in the toilet
And Tim Tebow is the plunge

Imagine no socialists
That won't defend the Jews
While he kisses a communist then 
Says Sorry for our values
Imagine all the people sharing the same wage

You, you may say 
I'm a schemer, but I'm not the only one
I hope some day you will wake up
Before this world is made one


Details | Rhyme | |

Political Fervor

They were happily wed for fifty years but a dilemma that nettled,
Was their differing political views that they never, ever settled!
Every time a local, state or national election cycle approached,
The squabble began as the virtues of their candidates were broached!

The donkey was the symbol of the party espoused by Ma.
The elephant was the emblem of the party championed by Pa.
They agreed on how to raise the kids and on matters of religion,
But to agree on political affairs - nary one little smidgen!

Their eternal battle even raged beyond the hallowed grave,
As on separate stones these telling epitaphs they did engrave:
"Here a Democrat lies - A lovely wife with the wrong party ties!"
"Here a Republican lies - A loving spouse but politically unwise!"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
©All Rights Reserved

Placed No. 6 in Carolyn Devonshire's "Election Humor" Contest - November 2010


Details | Light Poetry | |

Crock Around The Clock

<        Barack
             What Crock










No Pun Just Humor LOL



Entry For Brian Strand's
Two Lines Of Two Syllables 
Footle Contest  G.L. All


Details | I do not know? | |

The Constitution of a Aging Veggie Eater

The Constitution of a Aging Veggie Eater

I the aged, will do my solemnly best
to eat all my green like vegetables 
and what every doctor Oz says is good for my body 
and will affirm that in good faith, I give my word that, I will protect my colon and my heart 
to the best of my ability, to preserve my health and defend my new way of life 
no matter how young i may feel at the time...  

P.S.  But if a desert comes into view, I will not, do my Hostess best to walk away?!  
               but eat it with the vigor of a young woman, without a waist line!    
  
    
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
             "Oath of office of the President of the United States"

	"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President
of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the
Constitution of the United States."

en.wikipedia.org/.../Oath_of_office_of_the_President_of_the_United_States


Details | Rhyme | |

Hurry Home

My dear,
As I'm lying on your pillow here

I pray for God to watch over you each night
And help guide you through your daily plights

I can hear sounds of wispiring winds
And see through window's pane a mighty stars spin

Just knowing your battling on foreign soil
Over someone else's turmoils

Makes me just love you that much more
But please hurry home hun to finish your own dam choirs

                                          Love 
                                                Kat
                                                Meowwwww LOL



Tribute To Our Troops And Loved Ones
Hurry Home
God Bless U.S.A.

Also Entry For Brian Strand's 
My Dear Contest


Details | Limerick | |

Washington's 'Turkeys'

We are told that Franklin would have preferred

     The scrumptious turkey as our nations' bird

          Though old Ben's advice was scrapped

               A turkey might have been apt

                    Since Washington's 'turkeys' are so absurd

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Limerick | |

Quit Calling Me

<                                          good tarnations  .......  to this darn nation

                                            economic woes   .......  our money goes

                                                      all we are is .....   numbers

                                                      to good ole ....... Uncle Sam

                                             
                                             don't you just hate being called ....... sometimes







Entry For
John Freeman's Contest
Citizen Or Subject
G.L. All


Details | Haiku | |

Two Worlds Colliding

repubs and Dems collide
November's final leaves hold tight--
hanging chads


Written by The Gamehen for Russell Sivey's Two Worlds Contest


Details | Rhyme | |

HONESTY AND PROMPTNESS ARE REQUIRED

Uncle Sam demands you file your taxes timely,
no excuses accepted...he will impose a fine; 
don't think of committing the perfect crime...
court appearance and jail time await the sly!


As anyone can see, honesty and promptness are required...
and to save money, you may choose to file your own taxes,
but be aware of the fine print leading to consequences;
is TurboTax the answer? Don't trust it, you may be fined!


Ask for an extension? Isn't it quite costly?
Can you pay on time to avoid the extra fee?
Now, don't make plans to buy an expensive plasma tv,
you willl have a better chance at winning the Lottery!


Heed my advice and do everything legally and expeditiously,
I have done this for forty-three years and never cheated;
I slept at night, and woke up without worrying daily...
reminding myself that honesty and promptness are required!


Details | Limerick | |

Justice Roberts

Perhaps Justice Roberts is a just judge

    But agin' the folks he must hold a grudge

        Bushie is scratchin' his pate

            "What a mess I did create

                When I named him, did I ever misjudge!"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Limerick | |

The Times Are A-Changin'

The times they are a-changin’
Standards they are rearangin’
They say it is for good
Though hard to be understood
Regarding this many are complainin’.

What difference does it make?
What really is at stake?
The future looks bleak
If you more than just peek
About this make no mistake.


Details | Rhyme | |

Promises, Promises

Every four years and it seems that every year in between,
Politicians prey upon the masses venting their usual spleen,
Promising this and promising that saying they will deliver!
The scatological babble flows like a flooding tidewater river!

Candidates and their pals prowl about the nation to promote,
Anything they think we ought to hear, anything to get our vote!
They vow to build a local dam and provide universal medical care,
Lower the national debt and clean up the smog polluted air!

They promise never to raise taxes, looking us dead in the eye.
We've heard that one before - they'll increase 'em bye and bye!
When they proclaim, "I have a plan!" we become very suspicious.
They expound on grand schemes - most of which turn out to be fictitious!

Farmers are assured they'll get top prices for beef, corn and wheat,
While promising consumers they'll pay less for what they eat!
They promise new roads, bridges, sewers, schools and such,
But once in office they seem so remote and out of touch!

Regardless of their party affiliation, politicians are all the same.
When things go awry, they take no responsibility nor any blame.
And when at last that exalted office they at last attain,
Alas, it seems all those great promises were made to us in vain!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Ballad | |

criminister

Im in prison for commiting a crime taking things that were not mine, i went out into the general public, and stole things from a random subject. I hold up my hands and take the blame, my picture in paper to add to my shame. I realise now i went about it all wrong, ill explain it all within this song. I should have worn a suit to work, commited my crimes with a smirk. For id have the right as a civil servent, my squeaky clean image and smell of detergent. Oh how id laugh at the publics expence, the poor,the peasents,the holiday tents. While back inside my gentlemens club, caviar,chianti and tax payers grub. Sit smoking cigars by an open fire, swopping stories of our selfish desires. "I gave five pounds to a charity today, then claimed it back within my pay" "I claimed straws for my childrens party, then more money to dress them smartly" "I claimed for a jag in case the other breaks down, then for another to potter round town" "Well when the wife fell down the stairs, i claimed thousands just for the repairs!" "I claimmed a thousand just for one shoe, then another five thousand for a rent boy or two". Raise the taxes! Theres not enough, public funds to buy our stuff. My ducks need a house, a one that floats! And i need money to dredge my moat! I need a taxi to take me ten yards! To see my neighbour and play charades Then baffle the public with a few choice words and change the subject,declare war on the kerds But i wouldn't be breaking any rules, these are important political tools. So the motto of the story is i should have listined in school! Instead im sat here on this prison stool.........


Details | Limerick | |

Next Thing to Believe

Why do we believe the hype they spread?
Next year they say we all might be dead
This spring all will shut down
Does this bring you a frown?
Rise of gasoline with rise of bread

We seem to believe whatever they say
Why are their words now gospel today
We are losing freedoms
More or less, like kingdoms
We left one of these, for freedom to pray

Let’s see if a rumor I start unfurls
Our new cars will be run by squirrels
Fueled by nuts and acorns
But never peppercorns
Because if you do, the car just twirls


Written for

Sponsor john freeman 
Contest Name Slapstick Limerick Contest 


Details | Light Poetry | |

Erection Coverwidge on A-BEE-SHE

Ghood ni...I mean ghood EVEN floaters!
This ish Siane Dawyer wish co-retorter
Georgie Shtephenatropolish...
We are now rejecting the shtate of twanzavania and
HO-HI-HO for Guvnor Obamanable and...
did I jush call you a HO, Georgia?
Well s..t!...I shink you ARE a HO...
Didn't I she you cwuising the sheets of Wahingtonio?
You cain fool me! Been-there-done-th...
Wha you say?...Well!!...Let me deform you
I wush once a homeless queen!!...Here,
wanna she my cwown?...Ow! You so CWUMSY!
Look wha you done did...is my foreskin breeding?
Reducer!...Inducer!...Seducer?? (whaEVER)
Cut! Cut!...NOOO you idiot! I didn't mean...
Wha happen to the fweekin' lites?

...An ABC spokesperson said she was 'tired and overworked'
Whew!...and here I was thinking she was popping pills...


Details | Rhyme | |

Elections American Style

Thankfully, another American election cycle has come and went,
Providing folks across the land their opportunity to vent.
For months, we've suffered a gamut of inane hullabaloo,
Now, maybe the pundits will find more productive things to do!

The politicos proposed various schemes and grandiose ideas.
For our nation's ills they offered numerous panaceas.
We've heard it all from no new taxes to fixing social security,
Most of which will be destined for the bowels of obscurity!

We voted to retain judges, for governors and county clerks,
And bonds to increase taxes to improve the sewage works.
We defined marriage as one-man, one-woman for each legislator.
(Somehow, I thought that was determined eons ago by The Creator!)

We watched on the television as pails of mud were tossed.
Such political shenanigans upon the voters were not lost.
When the elections ceased, campaigners vowed togetherness.
How long the love-fest will last is anybody's guess!

The people have spoken, to borrow the political cliche.
Some folks are elated, others fraught with dismay.
Despite all the hoopla, babble and circus atmosphere,
Our election process guarantees the liberties all hold dear!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Clerihew | |

Trump Up

In the polls, Donald Trump
took an astonishing jump ,
but the most surprising thing for me
is I’d vote for him over Huckabee.


Details | Epigram | |

Confused

A house burns up 
as it burns down
An upside down smile
Is called a frown
We throw up
When we really throw down
Any question why voters
Nominate clowns?


Details | Clerihew | |

Dinner Guest by Phone

Mister Galloway,
unknown caller of the day,
with your late hour political question,
why do you insist on disrupting digestion?


Details | Clerihew | |

General Petraeus

General David Petraeus,
Caught up in a scandal outrageous.
Leadership was his forte,
Til he succumbed to lust and foreplay.

11/16/12

Entered into Nathan's yesterday's
clerihew contest.


Details | Limerick | |

I'm Wild About Harry

Though I ain't of his political creed

   Good ol' Harry Truman we really need

      He didn't apologize

         He said "To 'ell with you guys!"

            We need a guy in the White House who'll lead

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Limerick | |

Slamming Politicians

They slam each other every day.
Tearing them apart in a sly way,
Truth I say, what a lie.
Political games cry.
Give them cement shoes, drop into bay.

Next election, vote for three blind mice,
They would fare better, than roll of dice.
Vote now for mystery.
Go down in history.
For they have no “tales-tails“, truths suffice.


Details | Crystalline | |

Vote OR Die or Just Vote

Standing at the White house today
Making riots.... Here comes C I A!


Details | Epigram | |

Bill Clinton's Epitaph

Here he lies as he always did.
I hope they locked the coffin lid.
O hark ye satan, watch and learn,
With glib of tongue he might return.


Details | Quatrain | |

The Moving Target

I am the eponymous A. Floating-Voter!
I do know my mind, but I’ll follow the pack … 
My vote’s up for sale now, to the highest bidder.
Yes! What was that offer, sir? You at the back?

One fellow offered me ‘less unemployment’;
Another one’s promised a crackdown on Crack.
A third says my kids should get more education!
Now who’s gonna offer me tuppence off tax?

One bloke is standing who’ll never be sitting!
So if he’s elected, he won’t see it through.
He said I could choose ‘Not to be European’.
I thought I did that back in ’72 … 

‘A’ says I’ll have more disposable income;
‘B’ says he’ll build us more roads and such-like. 
If I vote for ‘B’, I’ll have more roads to drive on; 
If I don’t vote for ’A’, then I can’t run a bike! 

All of them claim to be fighting corruption; 
Opening closets; exposing the sin … 
Though naturally, MPs are above suspicion! 
Now, what was this ‘Members’ Expenses’ thing? 

I’m already beginning to feel some confusion.
Which of the parties is really the best?
They all claim the others are nothing but liars …
But none of them passes the ‘truthfulness’ test … 

I really do not have a clue who to vote for!
I’m starting to wonder if I should abstain … 
But ‘Say what you want!’ was my Mum’s favourite motto, 
‘And if you don’t get it, then you can complain!’ 

So, come voting day, I’ll be down at that station.
I’m going to vote, and I’m keeping close tabs …
So go for it, candidates! Try to attract me! 
‘Cause, ‘tween now and then, chaps,
My vote’s up for grabs!

..........................................................................

This is how we tackle elections in Great Britain - not so slick, but lots of fun!

Entered in Dana'lynn Smith's "Politically Educated" contest by Frances King





Details | Limerick | |

Politicians

Most politicians are liars,
Saying anything to get their desires.
Their goal is to win,
To lie is no sin,
Whatever it takes they'll conspire.


Details | Haiku | |

the ceiling burst

the debt ceiling talk
led to so much tension that 
the room's ceiling burst


Details | Clerihew | |

Lincoln

I wonder what Lincoln
Might have been thinkin'
Had he seen the way
The world is today.

Perhaps honest Abe
Would think it a grave
Thing to see,
(Especially TV)

And ol' Abraham
Would disprove of the ham
That represent
The government.

But that President
Never was sent
To this time frame; so
His thoughts, we won't know.


Details | Cinquain | |

It's Tax Time Cinquain

                                                              taxes
                                                       financial charge
                                                      direct or indirect
                                                exacted by our legislate
                                                              body


Details | Clerihew | |

In Defense of 'Tricky-Dickie'

His bane was hotel Watergate
Cover-ups quickly sealed his cruel fate
Some predecessors did worse I am taught
His misfortune was just getting caught...


Details | ABC | |

Crazy World

Crazy World

It’s funny how
The universities are still in business
Of producing graduates
That speak funny English
And hardly make invention
And the stock market falls
Down street tumbles
That lets people buy
And make profit
Like grandpa used to say,
True intellectualism died
In the year 1929
With the rise in acumen inflation
It was then that
This Federal Reserve of Ignorance
The true villain of this quandary
Traces its genesis
Hope that explains succinct
This universal impotence


Details | Grook | |

Sells pitch for a bettermouse trap

The road map to the mouse trap                                                                                      Worst sells pitch ever for care                                                                                          Unhealthy advice get rich quick Gov cheese                                                                       If you can spare all you need is a few smart mice                                                              To stick their heads in the trap please                                                                              Do you know the stats do fat rats eat dead mice                                                             *                                                                                                                      -  ( Angry about obamacare Do not get mad get rich - Money Map Press )- infomercial


Details | Blank verse | |

Confessions of an us Senator

I confess my sins 
To a priest
Who does not speak my language
I am told by other
Sinner us Senators
That it counts

I do my penance
By saying I am sorry 
Two times
I am told by other 
Sinner us Senators
That it counts

I then start sinning
All over again
I am told by other
Sinner us Senators
That God forgives
Us


Details | Villanelle | |

Quakers on Pacifism

It is not “P. C.” to be anti-war,

Or to refuse to stuff one’s face with meat.

Quakers are not pacifists anymore

 

By definition.  It’s not like before.

These things are individual.  We can cheat.

It is not “P. C.” to be anti-war.

 

We cannot break an invisible law.

We rubbed it out, you see.  I should repeat:

Quakers are not pacifists anymore.

 

Some are.  Some aren’t.  There’s nothing we stand for.

We can have bacon, toast or Shredded Wheat.

It is not “P. C.” to be anti-war – 

 

To be vegetarian, vegan or

In any way, restrict what one may eat.

Quakers are not pacifists anymore.

 

This, Friends, is the conclusion we must draw – 

Won’t vote on this; we might just face defeat:

It is not “P. C.” to be anti-war.

Quakers are not pacifists anymore. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Our Leaders Are Nuts

What makes a nut
Want a national cut
To spend on ale and raving slut?

What again what
Makes a nation in want
Want to play a giant
When even he is not self reliant?

What makes a rat
Want to call a cat to combat
If he has not a nut in his hat
Or a written letter for a call to heaven from earth?

We are in want
Our leaders gone coo coo in their cot 
Am beginning to wonder what
But let our observation shut
As we lock twist our gut
We can say naught
'Cos death is easier than I thought

Let's put our barrels a'shut
And our eyes closed to truth
At least we can leave longer in our booth
Hiding and fleeing the truth

But truly, out leaders are just nuts


Details | Rhyme | |

Our politicians

Our Politicians
They speak like politicians
And hold a great ambition.
They think they are right
And same speech they recite.
They always gather for a bite
Deciding who should start the fight.
All have their own stations
To be the victims of cremation.
They gather their own crowd
Who cheer and clap to any sound.
They think they are right
Only here for a bite.
They speak like Aristo
And act like Montecristo!
They smoke big cigars
And all drive tinted cars.
They dress in glitter
And all have Twitter.
They act so polite
But hardly can write.
Always in action
Only during the election.
To make a collection
Or a connection.
O What a time you feel like 
Committing a crime.

For a brief background about this poem, pls, read the poem (Beirut).


Details | Verse | |

Monstrous Loonies

Monstrous Loonies in the air;
Monstrous Loonies everywhere,
Monstrous Loonies without a care;
That's our politicians!

Monstrous Loonies worldwide,
Monstrous Loonies, nowhere to hide!
Monstrous Loonies, let's stem the tide;
Of useless politicians.

Monstrous Loonies, a set of dopes,
Monstrous Loonies, how can we cope?
Monstrous Loonies, we need some hope!
But not through politicians!

Monstrous Loonies running wild,
Monstrous loonies not so mild!
Monstrous Loonies get us riled;
These painful politicians!

Monstrous Loonies, sanction that;
Monstrous Loonies, drive us 'bats';
Monstrous Loonies squabble like cats:
Our illustrious politicians, or a set of clowns!!!!


Details | Limerick | |

I'm Growing

<                                  economic woes
                                    say it isn't so
                                    fruits vegetables of divine
                                    artificial added such a crime
                                    sow garden  W.T.G     {Way To Go}
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    
                                    


Details | Light Poetry | |

Budge it - Mr Budget

The budget is boring, George Osborne is a pratt *
Raising extra monies by taxing this and that
The deficit is crippling, but he hasn’t got a clue
To me, the next election seems long overdue!
 
 
 
 
* the spell-checker wanted to amend prat to part. I almost went with that suggestion, but couldn’t decide which part people would assume he was…


Details | Free verse | |

Raindrops

The rain marched uniformly as an army in its prime
But this was no ordinary army along too came their band
They marched with a song so calming to hear
It changed in slopes and meanders as it made its way down
They were the ones who woke you and they soon removed your frown
You sat and listened as their song changed soothing you out of sleep
One by one they marched on with their tune down the slope
They were an army never to march again but soldiered on
An army of many and army of one… purpose
It's the army that resurrects the thoughts of wartime
It's the song that tickles your mind and helps you back… to it
Hoping you will err not twice as every army on the slope has
Take a different journey hidden in the clouds of your sky
But like every soldier before down the slopes it pours
Raindrops in the night

Copyright  (c) July 2006 J.R. Thomas


Details | Senryu | |

A Lie or Not

if George Washington 
never told a lie, neither has
Anthony Weiner


Details | Haiku | |

Tyrant Haiku

The clock's time is off.
Like a capricious tyrant,
my cell is bothered.


Details | Alliteration | |

Democrats or Republicans

Tonight we will see two parties debate
On the issues of this great country
Issues that are to not overrate
One side's mascot is the donkey

While the other's is the elephant
One side's color is blue
While the other's is red
And what they have to say will rock you

One side believes in gun control
While the other despises abortion
And it is both of the party's goal
To crush their opponent into dust

It is the Democrats against the Republicans
And they will fight to the brink
Until their enemy surrenders
Or they simply cannot think

Who will win this debate?
Who will win this fight?
I guess if you want to find out
Tune in to find out at 8 P.M. tonight


Details | I do not know? | |

Shining City On A Hill

Republicans keep talking about a Shining City on a Hill, 

Problem is to get in you need a Million Dollar bill, 

They kicked out all the Middle Class and Poor people from the area, and relocated them to a Landfill, 

While everybody,s starving, they up there cooking filet-mignon on the grill, 

wondering what all the fuss is about a little old BP oil spill, 

Excuse me for not enjoying the sight of their Metropolis glowing in the Night!,

 I,m locked out the gate, 

Struggling to survive daily, seems my fate, 

and to top it all off, They do not care of my plight 

and it,s my taxes

 that,s paying for all that Goddamned Light!!!!


Details | Rhyme | |

Credit Crunch Times

Me pay cheque is wounded, they gave it the axe
And these vampire politicians have drained 20% tax
Credit cards are all crunched to the max
Bailiffs keep knocking, won’t cut me some slack

Dam credit crunch has hit me hard
We scraping dad’s toes to use as lard
Granddad’s pluckin and a pickin’ the banjo with his teeth
Humming “I’m sure there’s some chicken in between these strings or underneath

To travel the bus is £1.20; it used to be a pound
There no such thing as free sex around
I ask the misses give me some; even she bleeds me pocket like a bloodhound
What’s wrong with the world it’s turning into a credit crunch breeding ground?
I whispering don’t make waves and they water skiing trying to make me drown

Can’t smoke 
Can’t poke
This is a joke
I’m sure all of this of just a hoax 

Well I have to go it time to munch 
We having mama’s toe nails for lunch


Details | Free verse | |

The Bill of Rights, Part I

The Bill of Rights was ratified
by citizens in these states,
But, see, now there is a problem
Today, it’s the world we face.
There are ten things Gov. cannot do,
They are spelled out for everyone.
For now, these rights are set in stone.
Let’s review them, one by one.

The right to worship where you dare
is the Number One protection.
Arab, Jew or the Satanist;
Free from undo persecution.
But when their Gods tell them to kill
we will hunt the sinners down.
We’ll even fight in foreign lands
and bomb them into the ground.

It also says to speak your mind!
It was next on Jefferson’s slate.
But, please, don’t utter the wrong words,
No obscenities from your crate.
Burn a flag and we don’t care,
The Supreme Court said one day.
Even fools deserve a voice.
But, in schools, you cannot pray.

Freedom of press is mighty nice
Till Paparazzi track you down.
How does the First Amendment
Let them treat you like a clown?
If the press is wrong, you can sue
But infrequently will you win.
The Courts have said, time and again,
Their mistakes we will pardon.

The right to gather we do have.
Thank the Gods they put this in.
Just make the choice of time and place
And let the world see you win.
Protest someone’s execution,
Say CNN and Fox News,
We will ask you stupid questions
And take shots from different views.

Right to Bare Arms is Number Two
NRA says that’s a FACT now.
Our founding fathers never saw
An SMG shot at a cow.
If they had, I truly think,
They’d be completely horrified.
A change of minds you’d see so fast,
‘less, of course, they’re petrified.

Militia is a good idea.
Let’s secure the federation.
Please don’t shoot the officers
When they come for regulation.
You’ll only see the FBI
If you buy weapons banned,
Or if you brainwash members
To take poison from your hand.

Number Three? No GIs in home:
Not at peace, nor if at war.
Unless the Houses pass a law
Proposed by a senator.
But even with that stupid law
We will ask before we do.
Forefathers said we surely must
Just don’t expect us to pay you.


Details | Free verse | |

The Bill of Rights, Part II

No illegal search and seizure
Says amendment Number Four
Probable cause necessary
Before we break down your door.
The warrant spells out what they search,
Describing things they will seize.
So hide them where you know they won’t
Go to the judge, and say, “Please.”

Number Five’s an uncommon gem
It says we won’t take your life
Without due process of the law,
Or by talking to your wife.
Testimony from yourself, and
Oh, yeah, double jeopardy,
Will never be responsible
For removing liberty.

We will not take your property
For a bridge or a highway.
Not without compensating you
But, please, stay out of the way.
We’ll never pay you what it’s worth,
Nor what the market will bear.
We shall pay you what we think’s right
And so what if it’s not fair?

So now we come to Number Six:
Speedy trial for you and me.
Impartial juries we will have
‘Less the press first runs the story.
We will inform you of the crime
They think you have committed.
And let you confront eyewitness
And a lawyer, not dim witted.

So here we are, now at Seven,
But this one’s kind of dicey.
It’s about the common law,
And the cost of controversy.
The courts have set some precedents
From the beginning to this year
So put this one from your mind, but
Don’t let lawyers know your fear.

Punishment cruel, or excessive
Is listed in Number Eight.
High bails and fines not imposed
Except in a crime of hate.
This allows a sentence of death
When combined with Number Five.
So, while stoning is a no, no.
Injection can take your life.

The rights for you, herein displayed
Shall not be the only item.
Number Nine says it right clear
Other rights are not denied ‘em.
This simply means, to you and me,
We’re somewhat free, to a point.
Beware of our society
For they say no to that joint.

This now brings us to Number Ten
About powers left on the rack.
If it’s not stated by this doc
States, and people, take up the slack.
The constitution delegates
Power to the three branches.
But if they overstep these bounds
Beware election chances.


Details | Free verse | |

why is not earth a better place

*f bull sh*t *s a fertil*zer,
why *sn’t earth 
a better place?
 


Details | Rhyme | |

Lady Delilah Dow

Action, action! What a commotion!
“What is the latest trend?
Is there going to be an end?”
Lady Dow is trying to deliver
Leaders running to assist her

Oh, it’s a Global Countdown
Yeah, it’s a Global Meltdown

Come on Doctor Bush, make her to push
“We need some stimulus
Package in some dollars”
Come on Doctor Ben Bernanke
Is it only cutting rates?

Stage III, now it’s just got to be!
I can see the hair 
Oh it’s a wig so unfair!
“Its shoulder dystocia, or a flu from Asia!”
Naah, its simply financial inertia!

It’s getting serious, I am curious
It’s gotta be Cesarean
Who is gonna be the Surgeon?
Will Bush gift it to Barak
Will Hillary, McCain or Romney wake luck? 
Huckabee, who will it be?
Oh pain, oh pain! Who is gonna bring the gain?
 


Details | Light Poetry | |

No Dope Have To Cope

Dope head
      Just read


Medical marijunia
  Many states don't wanna


Flip this bill
     Said it wouldn't heal


Glacoma
     Paranorma


Nausea's
   Seizers waaaaaa


They don't care
    And won't share


Any relief
   Good grief

Tired of  puking
   So  got mussing


 To  FDA
         Who just says


No dope
   Gotta cope





Details | Blank verse | |

FADED DRAPES

Faded Drapes
Cindy those old deceiving clothes which you 
claimed your mother insisted you wear were
nothing but a homeless person's clothing but
could have been faded drapes which might have
been improved with grape stains

You looked wonderful in newer clothes but more
specifically in the newer clothing which I picked
out for and gave to you but I was the observant one;
the one who was not only right for you but also right
about you

  Why you obediently wore those ugly drapes before
we met and toward the end of our rightful friendship
is beyond understanding which is equally true about
why you ran away and continue to evade me- if I ever
see you again it just might be in some old faded drapes


Details | I do not know? | |

Vive le CANADA Libre

translation below

Vive le CANADA Libre
 
 
Toujours merveilleux
Toujours grand
Toujours libre
Terre de libertés
 
PKP, PKP, jamais ne volé mon pays
PKP, PKP, jamais ne volé mon pays

 
 
plus d'informations

PKP est le surnom d'un fameux séparatiste qui veut se présenter à la direction du parti québécois. Même s'ils se proclament séparatistes, ce sont en réalité tous des traitres.
 
un mot plus juste..


À ne pas confondre avec le grand joueur de hockey, PK Suban!

 
Translation
 
 
 
Long Live Canada
 
Always beautiful
Always grand
Always free
Land of liberty
 
 
PKP, PKP,  never steal my Country
PKP, PKP,  never steal my Country

PKP is the nickname for Pierre Karl Peladeau, a Quebec seperatist


Details | Senryu | |

Never Told a Lie

if George Washington
never told a lie, then no
president has lied


Details | Free verse | |

Wild West Yatzi

Who on earth trampled your heart so much
Stop taking your anger out on us 
Seems like your taking your revenge out on all women
Pretty sure that on it's own is a sin

Your going to save everyone from missing dollars?
Are you planning to giving us your money ya big baller?
Didnt' think so,
Shut up and sit down
Let the grown ups talk and work this out

United Stated isn't a play ground
We're not Yatzi dice you can throw around
We're people, even the 47% that you dont care about
Hope your car doesn't break down around here
When the wild west doesn't like someone, it's a scarey town

Of course you'd have your shot gun, 
Your entourage, your pitbull
And cant forget golden teeth
Those things along will block the bullet from anyone that takes a peek. 

Hopefully next week I'll have my way
And you'll be forced to see four years of what could've been your payday


Details | I do not know? | |

ACHTUNG, MES AMIS

ACHTUNG, MES AMIS

The islands resolutely isolated from the shore
had atmosphere : they were redolent of an insolence
which betokened ‘Do come and get me, if you damn well dare.’
Its minor mountains, be amazed, look, of an eminence

protruding from deceptively calm waters past La Manche,
scant altitude, but attitude, enough to sink their fleets;
with birds whose complaints and laughter would fill the Sunday rags,
and tempt to silly invasions - all coupled with defeats.

Come, ask yourselves, oh Latin Ones, on what does this depend ?
You win with words, or food; pr’aps you’re not right, quite, for the fight ?
Ye Krauts, at our shores your ambitions flounder to their end,
perhaps it’s time that you give up, kowtow, and see the light ?

For friends, that’s what, deep down, we know you really, truly are,
of course we’ll squabble, we’re close, that goes without being said.
Just as long as you give us space - without the laws you need -
with you we will even break our white, sliced, and pre-packed bread ....

Alan McAlpine Douglas

(Challenge words : island resolute isolated redolent
mountain amazed water birds laughter flounder)


Details | Rhyme | |

Contempt

My farewell trip to Iraq
Near six years kept my pact

The war’s not done, more work ahead
Two shoes fly right past my head

Here’s your farewell kiss you dog
Your mem’ry maybe these will jog

Think you’re welcome here, instead
Two shoes barely miss my head

To end this war is our mission
Mister journalist for television

The world’s a safer place, I’ve said
As two shoes nearly thump my head

So what, he throws his shoes, but then
I’m glad I ducked those two size tens

If you want to feel the world’s contempt
Just become the President


Details | Senryu | |

Hard-drive Data of Congress

all congressmen asked
the forensics team to view
their hard-drive data


Details | Limerick | |

Freedoms Not Allowed

Not allowed to chew gum anymore,
What will be next, not able to open door?
This may seem frivolous.
Will be advantageous,
To profiteer, he will know the score. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Political Persuasions

They were happily wed for fifty years but a dilemma that nettled,
Was their differing political leanings that they never, ever settled!
Every time a local or national election cycle approached,
The battle began as the virtues of their candidates were broached!

The donkey was the symbol of the party espoused by Ma,
And the elephant was the emblem of the party championed by Pa!
They agreed on how to raise the kids and on matters of religion,
But to agree on political affairs - nary one little smidgen!

For generations Ma's leanings were in-bred - she'd never convert.
Pa held similar feelings - his beloved party he'd never desert.
The slightest mention of the attributes of the opposing candidate,
Would spark another inflammatory table-pounding debate!

The outcome of elections they'd both eagerly anticipate.
Invariably, one of them gloated leaving the losing one irate!
If the man steering the ship of state committed a silly dido,
The other danced with glee saying, "Didn't I tell you so!"

Their never-ending spat even continued beyond the grave,
As on separate stones these epitaphs they did engrave:
"Here a Democrat lies; A lovely wife with the wrong party ties!"
"Here a Republican lies; A loving spouse but politically unwise!"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Free verse | |

Haiku with Media

Few Words, Few pictures, News
Thousand narrations to same story
Every day a new story
…
Journalism, an art to write
Whether truth is perceived or false
None care, just write it.
…
Coverage of war or peace
Hidden remains the agenda of brokers
Cameraman with presenter on TV
…
What is shown, repeat telecast?
Same images, and same footage again
As seen on cable TV 
…
Magazine, periodicals, articles and letters
People read and contribute searching truth
Some are victims, others spectators
…
Morphed I did see, pictures
Some well crafted, some under bad hands
Every agency has a news
…
Reports, articles, statistics and surveys 
Core contents of the daily news papers 
2 page news, rest advertisements.
…
New flash, breaking news and updates
Presidential speeches, parliament debates and reality shows
Twenty four seven TV channeled 
…
Melodies, drums and orchestra played
Dramas, shows, politricks and business
Echoing; let the shows begin.
…
FT, BBC, CNN, News corp. Siasat
Created, supplied, edited, published, blogged, or uploaded  
Chinese whisper crawl in their veins.
…

28.29/04/10


Details | Rhyme | |

The new President

Something happened that was both unexpected but great.
By some miracle, I've been elected President of the United States.
I got 535 electoral votes and Romney got three.
Obama didn't even get one and he's pissed at me.
I had no idea that I'd win on that large of a scale.
This is the biggest landslide since Reagan beat Mondale.
I'm very surprised but happy that this came about.
Obama and Romney are plotting revenge, there is no doubt.
I ran as an Independent and my victory is what many will resent.
But for the next four years, I promise that I'll be a great President.

(This is a fictional poem.)


Details | Burlesque | |

Made in China

Everything I see
Is made in China,
How could that be?

Mom told me they were starving,
Eat up all my green beans,
So if they're really starving,
How do they have the means?

They make everything I own,
Everything that's for sale,
There's like 600 billion of them,
So how could they possibly fail?

The good old USA,
Makes nothing anymore,
Everything manufactured,
Comes from another shore

We sell bullshoot ideas,
Promises sure to fail,
What the hell is going on?
When did we de-rail?

Maybe we can make more trinkets,
And look for more Indians
and steal their land for a few pennies,
And if they're too smart for that,
We'll slip them a couple of "bennies"

We are the master race,
Or is that no longer true?
Come to think of it, guess not,
Not from the looks of you!


Details | Light Poetry | |

No Your Not Civil At All

Civility

      Now let's see

               Goverment

                   Mixed messages sent


                                One for all

                                        Who made call ?


                                                   Unfair trades

                                                          Loved ones laid


                                                                      I'm still broke

                                                                                But won't choke


                                                                                                   Civility

                                                                                                             Not for me

                                        


Details | Light Poetry | |

Operation Freedom-no oscar nomination

OPERATION FREEDOM-NO OSCAR NOMINATION

Sex is best

Coach potatoes rest

TV demands 

Our attention best.


Next I guess

The threat of 

War.

Reality TV 

Even the whore


A boar.

The roar 

of the war 

Our whore war boar? 


Yes.


I’m numb

Somewhat dumb


Bi-sexual encounters

On tropical islands

Of whom will marry 

Mr. Billion Trillion carpenter

have let me, well…

Wanting 

More!



This shock and awe

Reality TV

A critical disappointment for me.



Sorry no Oscar nomination shall there be.

Not from me

You shall see. 

Hurry now 

Try some more

Trying in vain

To entertain me. 





Details | Limerick | |

Politician

There once was a man who could tell no lie.
Could laugh quietly and deeply cry.
Placed into politics,
Then learning, some new tricks.
Now truth forgot, so much by and by.


Details | Senryu | |

Did They Advertise

Did Oscar Mayer
advertise since the Weiner
twitter scandal broke?


Details | Rhyme | |

Joker Joe

                   Joker Joe
      ©2012 C. Brent Cloyd

Vice President Biden is prone to gaff
But his debate strategy was to laugh
With smirk and grin told things that were not so
That’s how we will remember Joker Joe


Details | Free verse | |

my hired help

Hire me a hitman to teach me the reasons to live life
i am suicidal and need some advice
Hire me a prostitute
to teach me how not to be martyred by my sex life of nasty men
to guide me toward the sanity that there is one out there for me 
and make saints out of these amends to the dead
Hire me a drug dealer
to come into my life to help me recover from dope
an oxymoron of sorts but if we can do it maybe there is hope
Hire me a conman to teach me the importance of truth
a liar of all liars who is desperately seeking my truth
of a secret he would be after only i could tell
Hire me a false prophet
to teach me everything i need to know about living in the present
and the consequences of focusing on every domino that could fall
in all the wrong directions
hire me a soldier
i dont care if its a navy seal
im sure he could teach me all about cowardice
when the threats around me become too real

and on center stage where i seemingly plan to fail to teach life lessons in this 
social experiment
lets see who wins which bets
and which identities stay hidden and which ones become friends
hire me a spy to teach me all about the importance of privacy
as i delve into these peoples lives delving into mine

The threat is real its do or die
this is the scene
and there will be a bribe to be made
for pulling off the perfect crime
it may not be last man standing
perhaps a place to get on the same wavelength
wash away the past
lead the horse to temptation

hire me these people
and a game for them to play where if they work together they share the spoils
and if im successfull they all walk away reborn yet empty handed
but what exactly here is my goal?


Details | Free verse | |

Debate This {Poetry In Motion}

political debate
blah blah blah garble garble garble
I approve this message






Written by Willy Makeit
Illustrated by Betty Don't   LOL



See You At The Polls LOL


Details | I do not know? | |

At a general public meeting

At a general public meeting
They decided, on reflection
To replace the penal system
With a simple lead injection
Some people stood and argued
That shooting was too good
“Just take them from the court room
And hang ‘em in the wood”
Some others had their own ideas
On criminals like muggers
“Drag them to the river 
And drown the little buggers”
Then the voice of reason
Persuaded quite a few 
That treating prisoners this way
Was not the thing to do
“We’ll keep them in their prison cells
All cosy, dry and warm,
With lots of cash and man hours
They’ll hopefully reform,
But should this method fail to work
And progress not be made
We’ll take ‘em to the prison yard
And beat ‘em with a spade”

ã  John W Fenn  26-03-2009


Details | Free verse | |

My Name Tag Says...

                     
“Hello, my name is bisexual”. “What’s your name”?
Annoying name tags! 
Who do I wear this name tag for?
When throughout the day can I just snatch it off?

Never because it’s tattooed to the right side of my chest.
the way I choose my life to be isn’t the best,
Some say it’s a “sin”!
Some say it’s “selfish”!
Some say it’s “super-fresh”! 
Either way I can look forward to some good rest tonight.
How about you?

“Don’t like the same sex, 
You’re going to be marked by this the for remainder of your life…
Wait, what’s bisexual again”?

Why must I specify, what I do in my private time?
Do you know what that word means?
Cause I don’t know anymore.

“I’m tired of people not saying what they really are”!

Excuse me for keeping the conversation on the “up and up”.
As I said before, my sexuality only makes up 5% of my personality.
Did you know that I was a good person?
A law abiding citizen, 
I don’t do drugs,
And I try never to hurt anyone unless I absolutely have to...

Okay, I sound like the average serial killer.
But how many half-a fag mass murderers do you know?

I’m trying to be polite,
But it has never been that black & white!

A label,
Enabling you to feel better about being around me.

It helps you tolerate me and my sexuality,
Why 4, I’m not fornicating with you!

So what I’m unsure, (I use condoms and dental dam.)
This country has done nothing for me to yield to such rules.

You can’t even serve in the armed forces, without looking over your shoulders.
So what are you really saying to me?
Nothing!

Our land we love, don’t we?
Paying “F.I.C.A” is as patriotic as your going to get me to be.

Hell I’m paying for the labeling,
So you can feel comfortable.
I’m a human.
When has that ever been just black & white? 


Details | Light Poetry | |

Ann Coulter As Ponygirl

Oh Ann! Oh Ann! Poster girl of the radical Right!
Love to have you to myself one night!
We could nosh on bagles and cream cheese
As you dutifully serve me on your knees
As we listen to some Right Wing Blues
And dream of those "perfected" Jews.

Beneath the glow of a radical moon
We'll sup intolerance from silver spoons,
Discuss your Christian "Fast Track" pride
And the Liberal view of life deride.
Meanwhile, I'd fit you with a tail,
'Fore I your Right Wing gods assail.

Then tether you to some dead reef,
A copy of the "Blade" between your teeth
To act as bit to stay your speech
Of tyrannical goals just out of reach;
You'd become my little Fascist Filly,
And serve a Liberal, willy-nilly.

Your masters lost the public trust -
In vain your uninspiring bust!
Your dreary power base is waning
Even as you sit there yet profaning
All the saner sentiments
To satisfy your malcontent.

So: Find a cliff, and Happy Landings!
Or become the Piece that Passeth Understanding.


Details | Light Poetry | |

I'm So Broke I Can't Pay Attention

Good Golly
     Miss Molly
Lord's Done
        Miracle Spun
Lost Faith
     With Wait

Got Down
  Uttered Sound

Check Arrived
      Came Alive

Uncle Sam
       You  Da Man



Tribute To The
U.S. Postal Service

Also Entry For
Carolyn Devonshire's 
Believe In Miracles Contest


Details | Limerick | |

Beware Of Moving Lips

Politicians are suave but not soothing,
Saying much but very little proving.
With accent or drawl,
They spin one and all,
So beware when their lips start moving.


Details | Narrative | |

I'm Just What Your Looking For

since the year of 1952 the city of st paul Minnesota holds
their annual treasure hunt the king and queen of snows
goes out to a city park and hides a medallion worth
10,000 dollars if you are the winner and your carnaville
button is register with the st paul pioneer press
which gives out 12 cryptic clues and this little medallion
could be wrapped in just about anything from diapers to cookies 
and the frigid weather here just may make you want to just
stay by the fireplace and sip on hot coco with family and friends
even lucky finder gets to ride along with the king and queen of snow
in the closing ceremony of it's torchlight parade
also watch out for the vulcans krewe for they like to dethrone the king
and leave you with a black smudges across your sweet cheeks





Tribute To The Winter Carnaville
BURRRRRRRRRRR LOL

Carnaville runs
Jan 21-31 

Also Entry For
Carolyn Devonshire's
Christmas In Your Town Contest


Details | Free verse | |

It's Magic!

It’s Magic!

FOR MY NEXT TRICK,
I’ll take away what is making
Everyone sick around here.

I’ve been hired by BP to
make the oil spill magically disappear.

Hocus pocus! Abracadabra!
Here take this pill,
wear this amulet spelling
ABRACADABRA to ward off this disease,
and put on these rose-colored glasses.

That black splat out
there is just whack!

According to BP,
It’s really just a
big blob of bird crap!


CATCH PHRASE POEM ENTRY


Details | Rhyme | |

Hey Dude

Hey dude you think your so bad
you went out and shot your dad
just cause he dressed in plaid
reminded you of that dick channey lad

Hey dude dont feel so scared
for you should of seen my standing hairs
while you were pointing that shotgun everywhere
just glad it wasn't I standing so close there


And to think dude my heart didn't jump
come a little closer for I think I just took a dump
but let me go check behind  this nice little stump
cracking a smile all the way from my rump

Hey dude your so gross
but its you who I love the most
as I raise this shotgun and toast
I see you running for the coast

So run dude as fast as you can
from any guy thinking they have a safe plan
let them go and join another rock band
for you can still think your life is so grand


Hey dude you think your so bad
now your the one dressed in all plaid
thirthy years for shooting that dad
now dick chaney's singing sorry and it's so sad

La La La La 
La La La La

Hey dude



Footnote  I Chose Hey Jude



Tribute To Gun Safty

Also Entry For John Heck's
Beatlemania Sing-Along
GL All


Details | Prose Poetry | |

The Careful Dissemination of Funds

I hear their idle chatter and wish that sound was optional.
A box checked in a menu, a simple click and forget.

The rapid dilation of my pupils brings me back.
Back to hypnotic aisles of temptation and necessity. A selection of the finest they say.

Right there see, on the cardboard, next to charts and columns of calories and strange
numbers I’d sooner forget.
But buy one get one free still gets me every time.

I stare intently at the dancing numbers until the man with the tie moves away.

Glossy pages shine brighter than the fruit racks they mirror,
Competing for importance in my wallet and my life

The magpie wins and the bananas will wait.

Half the magazines hawk five a day in rounded sans serif, bold against the background of a
chef’s haircut.

Maxims of bizarre cosmopolitan playboys and hustlers marked up at 3.99. Landscapes of
polished flesh glow beneath the loving airbrush of the paycheck. Competing for nuts at the
zoo.
A vanity fair for the hollow, shining in the fading light of a red top sunset.
Paraphrased blogs and condensed morsels of crude celebrity nudes for the I-Generation and
the remnants of New Labour and Thatcher’s Britain.

Anglers, caravans and 50 cent, half the demographic, half the price. Count me out.
I finger a few and find no real desire. The Internet offers this bilge up for free. 
They’d all be nude and crapping on each other.
The great silicon toilet of humanity

Past freezers of long dead prisoners, pulped to perfection. Pigs in tubes and flat cow
concoctions.
Pancakes of vomit and fish dishes I won’t ever try. No time for it.
Frankenstein's monster behind glass slides.
Packets of sugar in various disguises. Cereal and chocolate, soft drinks and sauce dips.

Lattes and ladles, loofahs and loaves. The prattle returns through the shelving
I turn around the curries and there is the tie. Talking sport and hard drinking, women and
the weather. Looks me in the eye.

I turn before any interaction and feign interest in something, a scouring pad. Intricately
woven metal coils waste major concentration and he’s gone. Box checked, minimize and move on.

Everything shines in this weird three-quarter light, hypnotic. Confusing. Conscious of the
bottles ahead that I can’t ever touch. Seedy and appealing, puerile and appalling.
Something for everyone. 

And nothing for me.


Details | Free verse | |

Hope Has Flown Into My Closet

Hope has flown into my closet
He won’t come out
No matter how much I beg
“I need reassurance
That my work will be done on time
And that I’ll have hours spare to tidy my bed

The thermostat is jammed, 
The bathroom has flooded
The cooker is all out of gas

Ants have invaded my bedroom
My siblings are fighting on the lawn
The market has stopped stocking coffee
And I just cannot take anymore!”

And Hope replied 
With a flutter of his wings
And a sparkling glint in his eye

“Stop bothering me
And bloody sort it out yourself!”


Details | Blank verse | |

Bill

Nothing Common In This World Is Given Freely,
Without Some Kind Of Out-Standing "Bill" No Matter
What The Case Everything, And Everyone Demands
A Price N' Cost Before The Ransome Note Is Given.

Standing There As They Change Thier Plea, Ragging 
On About The Consequences Time Has Stopped
And Paid It's Dues....

Wait Behind These Bared Doors And I
Can Question To Revel The Real Reason's
Why They Keep Us Captive.

Taxes It"s Called The Bill Of Rights "Act"
Which Was Signed Further Adue...
Even With "Bill Clinton At Hand As President
I Say: What The Hell We're All Imprisioned
Anyhow.


Details | Narrative | |

Pass us by

If he made it so I can see you why no glance?
I see another and another, but there is no chance
You see us walking
But did you look up in the trees? 
How stupid can we be?
Our feet are harmonious 
Our stash inside
However we may be different 
You don’t even glance you just hide
Its all our problems 
Containing our will
To scream
Or lack there of and therefore will remain sight
For that lack there of we cannot take flight 
For these white walls will crumble
We will all stumble
Into the great depths of our thoughts
Trapped like a rat in a cage
Forever inflamed in this summer sky
Or this winter dirt
Do you see the sun reflect our growth
To grow up and see our differences 
But how will we know?
We all look the part
So I throw it back at you
The constraining will 
To scream


Details | Limerick | |

Slick Willie

There was a young man from Hope,
Who was asked if he ever smoked dope?
He replied that he had,
And it wasn't too bad,
But he certainly didn't inhale that rope.




























Details | Didactic | |

Political Kama Sutra

Lady, you were so far ahead in the last opinion poll
but now all your rivals paint you like a bumbling fool.
Well, you got it coming for the answer you had given
to a very simple question is full of unnecessary spin.

If you're asked something requiring a straight yes or no,
then, damn it, just give a plain yes or no at the word 'Go'.
People are not amused when you say you are against it,
only to declare in the next breath that you are really for it.

Kama Sutra politics, too many variations and positions!


Details | Burlesque | |

LIVING LAVISHLY OR SPARINGLY

Rich people can afford to live lavishly,
squandenring money like it werent a commodity;
ordinary folks must make ends meet,
even worrying about the food they eat!

Wealth moguls like Trump or Gates
can purchase the Empire State Building,
and see their names in the Entrepreneur or Money magazine...
while we dispute those outrageous credit card rates!
 
Since Caesar imposed taxes on the Roman Empire,
freedom to spend,at will, has been reduced by desire;
now Uncle Sam is the new emperor demanding his tribute,
woe to us if we declared ourselves immune!  

Republicans and Democrats are divided on one issue:
the Iraq's war on terrorism and its credibility not so true;
while Bush's voice echoes throughout the White House' walls..
a President's courage shown in formidable ways!

The music and art world are giving in frivolity,
creating works that are insignificant and full of obscenity;
can the Human Race excel as it did yesterday...
who will step forward and stop all this insanity?

Living lavishly is only shared by the lucky ones 
who are defined by abundance and inheritance,
but living sparingly is based on sacrifice and endurance...  
learning those thrifty tactics and live within limits!
         


Details | Cinqku | |

SUBPRIME TO SUBLIME

Fannie
and Freddie
in a shower-
Mae still find they need a
Mac.


Details | Burlesque | |

Schmoe For the Gizzmo

You ought'a see my home,
Actually not,
There is no room,
With all the sheet I got
If it's on TV,
It's in my home,
No commercial fails
As do some of my poem
I got stairmaster,
with no stairs,
Oxyclean with no dirt,
Hercules Hooks
with no pictures,
Squeegees with no squirt,
Bow-flex I'm too weak to move,
The latest disco dancing groove,
I got pre-menstrual meds,
That I do not need,
Vitamins abundant,
More than Asian weed....
And tomato plants 7 feet tall,
In a 6 foot house,
I got anti-rat sonic devices,
Yet don't have a mouse,
If I missed something
You think I need,
Please sign me up right now,
Cause I can't do without it,
Damn and holy cow!
I need everything at least twice,
Whether it's for my rug,
Or body lice...
I dont have to need the things I want,
I just gotta' get em'
Or I shan't
Feel like a real American consumer,
Red, White, and Blue....
Buying sheet he don't need
And lovin it too!


Details | Burlesque | |

Anchors Away

Not the warship
Primed for battle,
Not the chained
weight to secure
a ship,
But the anchor
on the evening news,
Ever notice how often
they lose?
Changed near monthly,
sometimes it seems,
An end to their newsroom
star dreams

Kytee Dung, Dodger
Grimslee, Falter Concrete,
Tomm's Brokedown, so many
more,
Which one you'll see tomorrow,
You can never be sure...

But as long as they are pretty,
And don't make of themselve an arse,
They may last another week,
And remain among the cast.


Details | I do not know? | |

Politics in the Time of Dubya

All wish the Senate would see more clearly
Their stupidity increases just about yearly;
Perhaps if the president was not so dumb,
The government would not be such scum.