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Funny Lonely Poems | Funny Poems About Lonely

These Funny Lonely poems are examples of Funny poems about Lonely. These are the best examples of Funny Lonely poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Free verse | |

Curved Lips

Sometimes I laugh while reading in the library
Sometimes librarians come over and tell me to be quiet
Sometimes they ask if everything is okay
And always always I answer "yes"

Details | Rhyme | |

Cinderella Bites Back

Cinderella Bites Back
Joanna Davis

Once upon a story; in a fairy tail
lived a shy and lonely girl
who's friends were Mop and Pail 
She was really quite a clever girl,
but suffered hate and spite
until an invitation came 
and she wished with all her might

‘if only I could go to the ball’
she cried when no one was around
then out of a tiny hole 
she heard  the faintest sound
'Of course you can go to the ball
What makes you think you can't?'
'Just because that witch said no
doesn’t mean you shan’t!' 

'But my dress is in rags
My feet dirty and bare 
There's nothing in my closet
that I could really wear' 
‘Don't worry’ said the little mouse
for I know just the thing
By the time I've finished
you’ll have a wedding ring 

'Oh no’ said Cinderella 
that's not what I had in mind
I was rather hoping for a career;
a chance to serve mankind
The mouse thought for a moment 
sized up her situation
'It’s not a wardrobe you need
but an education'! 

So  when you read this story
or listen to this tale
about a sad and lonely girl
with a mop and pail 
Remember that the dream you wish
or star you hope to find
has always been there with you,
tucked safely in your mind!

Details | Ballad | |

Across the Way - The Sequel

Another day and the dishes have piled up yet again
So back I end up in front of the window 
I do not glance up, but concentrate
On the dull, dirtied objects before me
I do not hear the voices from yesterday
I still wallow in the grime of gray
I smile in malcontent
As I lather the dishes with soap
Against my will, I look up 
To see a lone, fat man opening a refrigerator
He is shirtless, bulgy, and he looks pregnant
My first supposition is to laugh
But I only look back down at the dishes
Not wanting to stare at the fat man
Not wanting to think he looks pregnant
For sure not wanting him to be my neighbor
Across the way

Against my will again, I look up
The fat, pregnant man is gone
I see ornaments on the refrigerator
Some pictures, some magnets
Family; not so different from my life
But yet, there is a transparent fancy of mystery
A flashy rage of difference in the silence
Oh, so quiet
The blazing sun sprays its light upon the hour
Not only are my hands wet from the soapy water
The deafening tone of quietude
Revels in me a mixture of loneliness and physical heat
A burning desire for something not seen
A desire for utter disgust of my newly found neighbors
But I find myself not disgusted at all
Until I look up again and see a fully naked man at the window
Across the way

Details | Free verse | |

My Boredom Disease

Like sick allergies, 
Boredom can be passed around

Like a horrid storm,
Boredom can catch you off guard
Hold on for DEAR LIFE!

Like the whooping cough,
Boredom can be serious
If I were you, I’d
Get a vaccination ! 

Details | Monoku | |


One more alien... an extra terrestrial. Bloody foreigners.

Details | Bio | |

Solitude: To Yoda, An Ode

Green bark a prism creates,
Feel the pull of earth, you must.

Rotates, a slime of endless hates,
Can hold me not, this world’s crust.

Friendship’s ties, isolation Deflates,
Succumbs, my spaceship, to bitter rust.

Mist, my soul forever permeates,
Lift-off, booms the rocket’s thrust.

My spirit when light returns, elates,
Swamps swell, swallowed hope’s swirling dust.

Trapped, I am, until student from fate
Arrives to learn; Cloud City or bust.

Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?

Details | Free verse | |

Soy Sauce Spills

Soy sauce drains 
Into the white, clustered rice
Stepped on…
spills . . . 
Soy sauce taints
The whiteness of the grain
 It slips out of my hands
No point in crying out in rage
Though I was starving, 
I'll just eat another thing and start on a new page

I'm hungry like a swine
I wish I can earn back my snack!
I'm as angry as a bull
I'm about ready to attack! Attack!
Soy sauce packages
Fall unto the dirty school ground
Stepped on
By bratty, conceited teens
They really need to eat their greens
Instead of junkfood and pizza
They should drink some water
Instead of drinking sugary drinks or
 Sucking on popsicles obnoxiously
Why did the soy sauce spill? Seriously....

Details | Verse | |

Inevitable Bear

Oh lonely Inevitable Bear,
Padding claws, death in white
Sorrow in recurring nightmare
Instinct’s test; fight or flight?

Camouflage against the fence,
A challenge; my subconscious fear
Ominous slowly moving silence,
“Let me in, there’s a bear out here!”

Details | Carpe Diem | |


If its money I got its money ill keep. If its money I have its money ill weep. If its love that I give its love ill receive. For I am but no one who just see's beneath. Some say your only as strong as you feel, but how could we a place that's so unreal. People are hearing but..not really hearing. Why is the world so blind. I keep on screaming and screaming and screaming for things to be revolutionized. I am just a small song in a world full of cries, laughter, tears and french-fries.

Details | Free verse | |

Have You Ever Read

Dedicated to an author by the name of William Golding... Enjoy!!!

~Two boys meet on an island
~~One is skin 'n bones
~~~The other one is chubby

They discover a lagoon~
Ralph teases him by calling~~
him "Piggy" -  how mean!!~~~

Piggy asks him if
There are other people on 
The island with 'em

He has no clue
But this'll answer Piggy's question --
Other boys appear - 
All diverse shapes and sizes
What'll happen next??

You'll see...

Have you ever read The Lord of the Flies?
I recommend it if yah haven't read it yet - I must admit
It's a book full of adult words and it's simply...FASCINATING! - no lies
You should read it - or you'll regret it!

Details | Free verse | |

No Party For Pity

 No party for pity. 
 Question the absurdity. 
 Friends, use discretion 
 if you get an invitation. 
 It's counterfeit. 
 Don't believe it. 
 Don't RSVP, 
 if you receive it. 
 Discard immediately. Don't contemplate. 
 It'll lead you nowhere. Don't save the date. 
 No early, late, or on time arrivals. 
 The doorbell is silent. 
 No lively dinner guests, 
 dressed in their best. 
 No hors d'oeuvres served on a fancy plate. 
 No thought-provoking conversations. 
 No guestbook to sign. 
 No vintage wine. 
 No catered food. 
 No live music for the mood. 
 No celebration for pity's pains. 
 No "congratulations,"  for complaints.         
 No party here. Discard the invitation. 
 Pity's alone, in bitter contemplation.

Details | Rhyme | |

Feb 14

chocolate hearts and candies in boxes
play their part in having me nauseous 
passion a project for the masses 
roses in package, romance the passage
red, white and pink, fed right in the link
bed time in sync, just what you think
that one day out of three sixty five
your partner should get recognized
consumption used to fortify
love thatll last the rest of our lives
trickier than lovers that are porcupines
a sort of lie, could put a hole in your heart
bigger than a quarters size
beyond the balloons, heart strings in the loom
the only thoughts i consume, 
is i need a sun with my moon

Details | Rhyme | |

The Saga of the Lonely Cactus: "Lucky Cactus" Fifth Part

The Saga of the Lonely Cactus: “Lucky Cactus” Fifth Part

By Miriam McCue

The lucky Cactus is not just one only.
He is no longer sad and lonely.
Now he sits and sweats,
In the desert taking bets.

He works in a Casino they built there,
(Though it blocks him from the air).
Instead of New York’s noisy fights,
His eyes are lit up by neon lights.

Some think the desert is becoming a dump,
‘Cause of the Casino built there by Donald Trump,
But here the cactus stays and does not ramble.
He takes advantage of those who gamble.

He’s wheeling, and dealing, and holding tight,
All though the day and into the night.
So let us give the cactus his due,
When his four Queens beat our lowly two.

Here the cactus has adjusted quite well,
In what preachers may call “the gambling hell”.
At least here the sand does abound,
And other cacti are around.

All are learning to play the game,
And raking in cash, all the same.
So Good Bye to the Big Apple,
Rain and snow.
Hello to the nights of neon glow.

THE END of the Saga of the Lonely Cactus. 
( We love a happy ending!)

Details | Rhyme | |

Saga of the Lonely Cactus: "The Lonely Cactus in New York City" Third Part

Saga of the Lonely Cactus: "The Lonely Cactus In New York City"  Third Part

by Miriam McCue

The Lonely Cactus in New York City.
He cries ‘cause his life is a pity.
He misses the desert every day.
In New York he does not want to stay.

His tears are so very strong,
So his barrel will not have water in it very long.
The dogs use him for a fire plug.
The street addicts like to give him a slug.

They bother him day and night.
All they ever do is fight.
They scream all night and sometimes day.
The cactus never gets to play.

The police wake him with sirens loud,
This is no place for a cactus proud.
But he hopes and hopes,
And at night he prays,
That someone will come and take him away.

Back to the desert to get some peace,
Away from the junkies and police,
Where the night is so very still and dark,
Three thousand miles from Central Park.

Details | Free verse | |


Crazy how when one problem is solved,
Another one arises,
When one thing is lost,
we find another one,
When we give up
someone else moves up,
When we think its the end of the road,
the journey has just began.

Crazy how when one stops hurting,
worry wants to take over,
When we are down and crushed to dust,
freedom calls, wanting to sweep you away like the wind.
Crazy how when i cry,
I realize am normal,
I have emotions and tears.

Funny how When my life is out of control,
When am broken and hurt,
Scared, thinking that this crazy world,
Is going to bring me down,
i find a reason to smile

Details | Blank verse | |

Horny Toad On A Lonely Road

She came across a bend
On a lonely road.
She walked upon some little rocks
And found a horny toad.
She cried as her heart then broke
cause that little toad there died.
She couldn't understand,
confused she stood and sighed.
That little horny toad
never moved or moaned at all.
As she stood there and stared,
not believing in that there she saw.
She wondered why she stumbled
on that little horny toad.
Where that toad there then died,
here upon a lonely road.

Details | I do not know? | |

Illegitimi non Carborundum

Illegitimi non carborundum ;-)

...Staggering, my vision cloudy,

I fall to the hard ground.

when life’s sharp left-jab leaves my face bloody,

and all that surrounds me, is the desolation of loss I feel all around.

I see myself slipping,

down the abyss to where nothingness exists,

still, I cling on, groping for a foothold,

for my will to stay persists.

I clamber up, I stand my ground, though battered and bruised I may be,

my curtain is not falling yet, I have some fight still left in me.

It is then, in the pit of despair, when all seems bleak and painful and dull,

I summon the strength from deep within,

I rise, slowly, to face the day,

I refuse to sink,

to wallow, to surrender, to throw in the towel,

to drown,

for I am stronger now,

indeed I am, after all the years, and all the battles,

I stand, bruised and bloody,


I stand,

I refuse, to sink, to drown,

for they can try, to punish me some more,

but I shall not allow them to grind me down…


Details | Rhyme | |

Mount Pisgah

At the foot uv Pikes Peak sprawls the old minin' town uv Cripple Creek.
They wuz nigh on fifty-thousand folks thar when minin' wuz at its peak!
Ol' Bob Womack, a cowpoke, struck gold in Poverty Gulch stakin' his claim.
'Tis said he sold out fer 500 bucks and a jug o' booze - whut a pitiful shame!

Others with more business acumen moved in and made millions off'n them hills!
Platoons uv gamblers, soiled doves and saloons wuz thar fer the miner's thrills!
They wuz even a few preachers and churches to tame them rowdy souls!
The Ladies Cultural Society strove to guide the rabble to reach more noble goals!

To the west, Mount Pisgah, bare and bleak, stood sentry over the raucous town,
Located thar is the cemetery containin' the bones uv some uv dubious renown!
But it must be said that thar is some decent souls sleepin' on that dreary hill.
Thar lonely graves are swept by the winter winds that shriek so bleak and chill!

Pearl DeVere is buried thar, 'madam' uv the classiest cribs in Cripple Creek!
She catered only to upscale gentlemen, those with clout, men uv wealthy clique!
The undertaker done her up right smart and the town turned out when she died.
They saw her off in style with a grand parade and finest hearse fer her final ride!

'Doc Susie' Anderson is also buried at Mount Pisgah and wuz the inspiration,
Fer "Doctor Quinn, Medicine Woman" and is remembered with great admiration.
Saint and sinner, lawman and desperado lie side by side on that desolate hill.
Their lonely graves are swept by the winter winds that shriek so bleak and chill!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Details | Rhyme | |

Saga of the Lonely Cactus: "The Return of the Cactus" Fourth Part

Saga of the Lonely Cactus: “The Return of the Cactus” Part Four

Aunt Mikey searched the Big Apple far and wide,
‘Till she found the Lonely Cactus on the Lower East Side.
“Oh, Cactus, I’m sorry this happened to you,
But I know just what to do.”

“I see you are homesick, 
No more, no less.
I’ll pick up my cell and call U.P.S.
They go to the desert on their 
Regular route.
They’ll send you to Kieran,
Without a doubt.”

Kieran waited and waited for many awhiles,
‘Till the U.P.S. truck delivered the cactus all smiles.
“Oh, Cactus,” said Kieran with a joyful sob.
“I think what you need is an interesting job.”

“Over the hill and behind the stone hump.
Is a casino being built by Donald Trump.
The Donald told me he would hire a cactus like you,
Who knows how to deal the one and the two.”

“He needs cacti who are smart and cacti who are able,
To deal with the tourists at the blackjack table.
Poker and Keno are also his game.
I’ll miss you,
But it is best you go just the same.”

Details | Monorhyme | |


I wear a beard of aging, upon a cliff-face chin
A year has passed and grown its hairs out from my mottled skin
Mistakes sit there unchallenged, to each fibre clings a sin
Yet despite my facial mask of age the clubs won’t let me in

Details | Free verse | |

A Doubt of Loneliness

Wonders of lonely
Wonders of me
The lonely is killing,
It is sure killing me!
Since when have i become this lonely?
Since when have i did?
No, that's right!
I have never been lonely indeed!
What was i thinking about?
It is not the loneliness, it's boredom,
That is killing me!

Details | Free verse | |

My Secret Prison

Trapped again!

Maze hidden cheddar eluding 
every twisting turn a doorway 
to the path I’ve already forgotten
a spirit broken within each hidden cul-de-sac.

I cry.

Depression building my will 
crumbling into fatal despair
that rages with a whisper
as quiet as a hurricane.

I sleep.

I scream at one wall 
hundreds more continue laughing.
Right! Left! NO! RIGHT! Left! Right! LEFT! YES! Right!

I succumb.

Cheddar thoughts and running 
water sustain my desire to escape
through walls of scent
filled dreams of freedom.

I laugh.

Test complete. Failure.
Should have smelled for Camembert.

Details | Verse | |

I've Got You Now

Upon a lonely Autumn night
I spied my prince by artificial light
Our eyes then met, and all was well
His voice, so sweet, said "Go to Hell!"

I laughed it off, assured he jest
And vowed that I would do my best
To win the hand of that valiant prince
By exposing my heart, my love to evince

For many a day, I followed his ways
Learning the patterns of his days
Careful to hide in alley and bush
Awaiting the moment of the ambush

My love, I knew, would fall to my feet
If ever I worked up the courage to meet
Aided, perhaps, with a hint of persuasion
Enhanced by the use of anaesthatization

Too shy to approach lest the ideal I mar
I followed the life of my love from afar
He seemed not to even know I exist
Oh, but I knew that that I could fix!

Upon a lonely Winter night
I spied my prince walking by streetlight
Our eyes then met, and before he could speak
I silenced him with professionally employed technique

Alas, we would finally be happy as one
Belong to me or belong to no-one
I'll have my way, as I always do
I know that I was made for you

Don't resist my psychotic persuasion
I've an episode for every occasion
An embittered word you devise to delay
Will only make you easier to sway

When in the darkness you feel fear
You can know that I am near
Waiting, watching, alway there
You will be my cross to bear

My dear, there's no reason to be blue
I promise I'm not going to hurt you
All I want is your fickle heart
You and I will never part

Something wicked this way will come
Resist all you want, we both know you'll succumb
Be it by poison, blackmail or lie
You can't escape me, however you try

Details | Ottava rima | |


Life has an unseen, funny side...
more thrilling than a pony's ride;
am I so discouraged and doubtful without a realistic insight, 
to give upon my half-won battles,
and the people who seem uncaring?
But does it mean that no flame is burning,
and the hands on the clock have stopped moving;
how long have you known me and didn't see my woes?

O friends, I don't mask myself under disguise,
and I don't hide beyond the false smiles to genuinly express myself;
anything I say or do is a pure delight and surprise!
Externally I may seem friendly and affectionate,
but internally I churn the bitter reality of my plight:
a lonely seeking the unlonely on the edge of a cliff,
where his voice is stronger than the hot wind;
a fearless voice echoing amid the massive and rugged canyons of the desert! 

Come rain, and soothe my thirst with your raindrops, wash my hands and feet
that need to rest after the longest and remotest jeourney;
in a dark cave, I will find refuge and by the crackling fire I'll sleep!
And peeking through the shadows, I'll see many stars twinkling to keep me company;
and what else, beside this guitar can cheer up a lonely seeking the unlonely?   
Huddled under this warm blanket, I'm too confortable to go hunting, although I'm hungry;
beer and chili are enough to fill up my belly until light shimmers through the thick fog,
then would I feel like a lonely seeking the unlonely...if the pelting rain inspired a song?

Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci

Details | Rhyme | |

It serves you right

I came home,
And you were gone.
You left a letter,
Said you were movin on.

Said you didn't,
Have time to explain.
You were headin to boston,
To catch the next train.

Now you'r back,
Knockin on my door.
Lookin for the love,
That don't love you anymore.

It serves you right,
To be as lonely as you are.
It serves you right,
You torn my world apart.
So go back to the one,
Who took you from me.
I dont need you no more,
Now that i can see.

Now I am sittin here,
Soakin up the sun.
Thinkin of you,
And what you have done.

Feelin no more pain,
And healin my heart,
It serves you right,
To be as lonely as you are.

It serves you right,
To be as lonely as you are.
It serves you right,
You torn my world apart.
So go back to the one,
who took you from me.
I don't need you no more,
Now that I can see.

I don't need you no more,
I'm soakin up the sun in miami.