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January Funny Poems | Funny Poems About January

These January Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about January. These are the best examples of January Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

Details | Limerick |

The Non-Resolver

I’ve been watching my weight since 14, but with all of the diets I’ve seen, they’ve become a big no-no. This here dieting yo-yo has stopped trying to be super lean! Other problems I’ll change as I go. I don’t need a New Year to say so! Said a wise sailor man: I yam what I yam! Why improve on a good thing - ya know? So the cause of the most bellyaching at this time of the year I’m forsaking. When you know yourself well. . . why then go through such hell! Resolutions I’ll never be making. For Gwendolen R.'s "A Limerick in My Pocket Contest"


Details | Rhyme |

So Much For Good Luck

An old southern tradition said to bring good luck throughout the year,
Is to eat black-eyed peas on New Years Day, a custom they hold so dear.
This Yankee boy had never heard of such 'til I wed my Confederate spouse!
Now, sixty years later we still observe that strange practice at our house!

Be that as it may, I'm not all that convinced that it really holds true,
And I'll relate for you a few curious events to prove my point of view!
In January of last year it froze so hard that my water line burst!
Mind you, the year had hardly begun - that was on January the first!

In March it snowed so hard that the blossoms froze on my apple tree!
There'd be no luscious fruit to chomp on for the squirrels, birds or me!
On the fifteenth of April I faithfully submitted my tax forms as required.
I received a notice in July that my presence for an IRS audit was desired!

In August the neighbor kid hit a home run that shattered my windowpane!
My 'in good hands' insurance wouldn't cover the cost, much to my disdain!
In October the airline lost all of our luggage, which is no great surprise!
(Hence, we'll ride AMTRAK when we travel in lieu of the friendly skies!)

I reckon my run of tough luck is just one of the rummy vicissitudes of life,
But oft' I muse, "Lord, is it only to me that such things happen so rife?"
(This was written with considerable tongue in cheek and to have a little fun.
I'll keep on eatin' black-eyed peas to better my luck, when all is said and done!)

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
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