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Funny Imagination Poems | Funny Poems About Imagination

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Details | Limerick | |

His funeral

That he planned his funeral is factual
And being a prankster quite actual
He prerecorded his voice
So when we kneeled on the joist
He said, "Hi there! Don't I look natural."

Copyright © Judith Angell Meyer | Year Posted 2008

Details | Prose Poetry | |

Lucila

So I walked into my local supermarket
to buy my weekly shipment of Kit Kat bars,
Cinnamon Toast Crunch,
and Ovaltine powder mix.

As I shake off the snow on my fake Timberland boots,
my skin,
coated in frozen animation,
thaws into warmth’s teardrops from
the supermarket’s 75 degree vents.

This moist sense of happiness was quickly interrupted
when I heard Wilson Phillips, “Hold On”
over the PA system.

Thankfully, the cutlery isle was just to my left. 
So, now, I had plans!

But, before I could commit felony’s song,
I saw her.

A Portuguese goddess
with a strut that can ruin a man’s dignity.

She had Autobahn curves,
dark brown curls of hair & visuals,
and thick flesh meat that even Vegans would envy.

Her face lacked Maybelline coated misapprehension.
Thank God!
Cause I never did like clowns.

After staring longingly at her,
like a crack head with impulsive eyes upon a broken/unlabeled bag of baby powder,
she breezed past my stifled posture and clocked in to work.

She didn’t even get a chance to smell my $500 cologne called “Piece of Me”.

So with new-found urges to grab all my groceries,
like a burglar who really has to pee,
I rush to express checkout. 

There she is.

Her register beeps in coupon lady’s rhapsody,
while my register needs a cleanup on Isle 9.

Now it’s my turn.

With girlish inner-screams of boy-band intensity,
I say, “Hi”.

She scans my apples, while I scan her melons.
The melons that the customer ahead of me didn’t want…
…they were on sale.

Go fig.

As if she read my mind,
she asks,
“Are you feeling warm now?”

“All I want is to be the heat in your moment”,
which I almost said.

But, “Now I am”, is uttered.

As she smiled with seductive demure,
she handed me my receipt
with her phone number on back.

As I left the market,
I began to get cold again.

These winds of change
became gusts of numbness.

I locked myself out of my heart.

I turned around to go back inside.

Only to discover, 
she didn’t have the key.

© Drake J. Eszes

Copyright © Drake Eszes | Year Posted 2010

Details | Rhyme | |

The Pirates Life

    He stands upon the salty,slippery deck,
Yelling yaargh matey ,
with a halfhearted pirate drawl.
He's not to impressed with himself,
not an eyepatch or wooden leg,
not even a hooked claw.
The parrot on his shoulder,
is a wannabee,
a sparrow that fell from the Crowsnest, 
from high up above.
It has no quips ,or spikes,
or pirate quotes,
just nesting on his shoulder 
with birdly kind of love.
Aye captain the crew responds,
snapping to their chores.
Tend the wheel ,lash the mainsail,
take the soundings
 less we hit a reef.
The sea going life is not for every man,
walking the plank,storms and rickets.
Crabs in your knickers ,
really give you grief.
Aah but when the wind fills the sails to bursting,
yards of canvas strain to be free.
And the ropes play ,sea going music
of a tension melody.
A song that captures
every young buccaneers heart ,
and soul and fancy.
For the music of the wanderers life,
an endless expanse of blue,
bravehearts and fearless men find,
quite a bit too chancy.
Black Beard,Yellow Beard,
the famous Captain Blood,
were all fearless pirates of their day.
He truly knows that he can be,
a great one too.
If he could ever find that bleeping map,
and escape this landlocked bay.

Copyright © Jim Skinner | Year Posted 2007

Details | Limerick | |

Viagra Falls

There once was a man from Niagara
whose wiener's so long it would stab ya'

but when it got little 
his pills became skittles   
until he O.D.'d on Viagra

© ~JSLambert  2011*****A classic "stiff" competitor, standing "firm" amongst other "members" in the "thick" of the competition:) hope everyone gets "a rise" out of it!

Copyright © JSLambert Mister ROBOTO | Year Posted 2011

Details | Free verse | |

LOVE at FIRST SIGHT

Love was in the air when he laid eyes on her.
Childhood; elementary and even high school with her.
Walking towards her, he greeted her.
Anxiety spiraled as he hugged her.
Conversation grew deeper as he sat with her.
Wanting to get closer because he was falling for her.

Another woman called pausing the time he was having with her.
Knowing he had to answer; he stepped away and spoke to her.
She stated that something wasn't quite right with her.
She said that her stomach had been bothering her.
Now he's thinking back if he came inside her.
Thinking if she lied to him about her tubes being tied within her.

Does he blame himself for listening to her?
Knowing right from wrong and yet he can't blame her.
Does he blame the devil for allowing him to be intimate with her?
Is he not a human that makes mistakes just like her?
Begging God to make a way for him and her.
Asking God to forgive him for committing the sin with her.

God said, "relax my son, you were only dreaming of her."

Copyright © Pace INK-U-SCRIPT | Year Posted 2012

Details | Light Poetry | |

The Cuddling Cricket

It’s not enough to have a Dragon plus his penguins and pigeons, too?
Darn it! I had a limit, until a cute Cuddling Cricket found my shoe.
He was just a little baby, who saw the pigeons and decided to hide.
Now, he won’t let go of my pants leg; he’s definitely along for the ride.

The first time I saw him, I Eeekk’ed and I jumped, yep, about to pounce.
But at my response he sighed, and slumped, and he began to cry, at once!
At first I couldn’t believe it, so I pulled out my magnifying glass.
What I found were soulful eyes, and a face, so very cute, but sad.

So now when I stand, A Cuddling Cricket, comes along for the ride.
Yeah, he’s now part of the family… Well, of course! Sigh! I replied…
He sleeps in a cute little plastic bug box, with a matchbox for a bed.
But it’s hard to explain, to others found, in my life, which have fled.

I bring a magnifying glass, so they can see him bow so proper and nice.
But carrying my Cuddling Cricket around, does have a certain price!
Food stores aren’t very understanding, and restaurants, Not At All! Truly!
But the paparazzi seem to understand a Cuddling Cricket, completely!

He does have his own type of novelty as he carries around his blankie!
And he’s just a baby, who needs a Mom, and of course, his little binkie!
Honestly, I’m not kidding! There’ve been a few, strange turns, in my life.
But, if I have Trolls and Dragon, then a Cuddling Cricket seems, so right!

Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2014

Details | Light Poetry | |

Zombie The Musical

The town was all a flutter; Zombie the Musical, was coming to town.
We all signed up as extras… Yes, as Zombies… here we did come.
Bruce Willis was the hero, with the Mad Scientist Z, for all to blame.
Dragon wanted to be the hero, but became the Evil Z. OH! Poor Thing!
His penguins, the perfect zombies, chased across the screen, so berserk!
The director wanted his zombies to twitch, but all thought he said, twerk!

Someone turned on ‘Thriller’, and amid the music, things began to work.
The penguins were endearing, as they stole the show. Wouldn’t you know!
As they did the: step left, step right, Shuffle, shuffle, twerk, twerk, twerk!
Dragon flew on the set, but things got wonky, as the set, in flames, went up.
He crash-landed in the fire works, which scaring most the towns’ zombies off.
All was meant to be dark and scary, but naturally that came out, sooo wrong.

The witches decided to dig up zombies, for the flash mob scene, to work. 
The new zombies, did their own thing, chasing more town zombies away.
The witches got them from the cemetery, not telling those alive, today. 
Bruce Willis, by now, was really banged up, as he fought the zombies off.
Everyone knew something was so wrong when one bit Dragon in the butt.
Thank goodness that fricasseed Zombie, couldn’t bite thru Dragons Scales.

Well, everyone made a run for it…as the penguins steadfastly twerked on…
At this time, some say, the director was straight out seen, pulling out his hair.
He was yelling: Dumb Zombies need a brain! & They’d head to the cemetery… 
If  ‘they only had a brain!’ So someone added the song ‘If I only had a Brain’. 
The director wanted Die Hard, but got ‘Die Hard without a Brain’. Yeah, Way!
Tho some would simply end up calling it, ‘Die Hard to Twerk another Day’.

The director decided: if he couldn’t beat them, join them. Yes, he surely did!
With the ending credits Dragon twerked. Groan! For shame!  Nobody Look!
That’s when Bruce Willis called Chuck Norris to help round the Zombies up! 
The Zombies wouldn’t take their cues! Well, not, until, it was time to Twerk!
Then they all just joined in, as apparently a real Zombie…Can Indeed Twerk! 
They were all, finally sent home, with smiles upon their face. Uh... we think!

The witches put them back, by order of Chuck Norris, in any case! It’s True!
For a witch can mess with a director, but No One messes with Chuck Norris! 
What! You knew? And the after show party, with Chuck Norris, had such flair!
He even ask Dragon for an autograph… Now, Dragon’s head is in the air!

And Note: Not a single Zombie was hurt in the making of this musical…
          Though, many a one, did fall down, when Dragon flapped his wings.
          The fricasseed Zombie liked his suntan and new hair style, it seems!
Written By Carol Eastman 1-22-2015 

Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2015

Details | Light Poetry | |

Armadilly Billy, The Slingshot Kidster

Armadilly came galloping into Troll Lake, bent on seeking a new life, to unwind.
He’d rode out of the Badlands, leaving only a trail of blowing dust and leaves, behind.
His steady stead Jalopy had been pounding feet, relentlessly with powerful strides.
Rearing up, Armadilly stopped before our Troll Bridge with his slingshot at his side.

I could see, he rode the sleekest mount, and the biggest tortoise, that I had ever seen.
Man that armadillo knew his tortoise flesh… this was the fastest one, ever been!
I would say: he truly looked, the devil’s mount… with glowing, fire stocked eyes.
The stranger named himself as Armadilly, but his true identity, could not be denied.

He was really Armadilly Billy, The Slingshot Kidster, as he bowed to us, so very low.
With a yes Ma'am, and a no Sir, he was smooth and could charm, near any old soul.
The Trolls loved him for the spell binding stories, that at the campfire, he gave away.
He never talked about his past, but we knew who he was, without being told, that day.

The rumor had it that Sheriff Bunny Garret had shot him dead, on one fateful day.
Another said he’d faked his death, heading south to Mexico, his life to live away.
But we knew better, for he was here with us, right now, on this illustrious day.
We knew he was a kind and misunderstood guy, because of what I’m about to say.

He saved our squirrel, Funkundilly, from a hawk diving straight for her, inward bound.
With his slingshot, like streaked lightening, he forced the hawk to spiral to the ground.
And we all applauded that Funkundilly was now, once again, so very safe and sound.
Then he strode, spurs a jangling, to dish out his own type of justice, so very renowned.

With a steely glint in his eye, he ordered the hawk away, or meet his end, he did convey.
And you can say that frightened bully hawk, really high tailed it, as he ran away.
Everyone celebrated that night, with Armadilly, all the way to dawn’s embrace.
Before he left, Armadilly knew from then on, he’d always have a home in this place.

But his mind was set on a wandering, more of this world’s adventures, to unweave.
So with a HiHo! Jalopy! He took off, leaving in another cloud of dust and leaves.
But I heard him shout that he’d be back again, soon… 
And we were sure, that’s just what he would do!


Inspired by Silly Billy the Kidster's--- Billy the Kid Blog
An epic poem by Carol Eastman

Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2012

Details | Rhyme | |

The Mad Hatters

Madness, the Hatter blinks. 
Madness, Oz's link. 
Repercussions of concussions.
Madness was Portnoy's complaint**, 

Madness must reciprocate!

Hallucinations filter by....
Leary* winks at Dali's eye.
A house lands on Dorothy's thighs...
Chicken Little wanders by.
 
"Madness," Hitler's honcho’s sneer. 
Madness splices genes with fear. 
"Lobotomize!" becomes the cheer. 
Kellogg’s* enema's find waiting rears.

"Are you the ass? Or is it me? 
Have I ears and a nose? What do you see?"
"Hehawww," said Pinocchio's friends.
"Heeehaw," said Darwin* back again.

Round and round went Steven Hawkings*.
"Madness," said Lenore's raven* squawking.
"Madness," said Einstein* in a blink. 
"Reciprocate!," said the missing link.

Reference Poem Knock Knock by The Archaic Poet - topic madness

* Art by Salvador Dali
* Portnoy's Complaint by Phillip Roth states
   if you know you are crazy than you must be sane.
* Timothy Leary explored LSD and other hallucinogenic drugs.
* Kellog [of cereal fame] proposed enema's as the cure to 
   all health ills, plus loads of sex!
* Darwin proposed man evolved from apes.
* Edgar Allen Poe was mad when he wrote The Raven.
* Einstein had aspergers syndrome a type of 
* Steven Hawkings is a wheelchair bound scientist who autism. 
   extrapolates on the edge of mathematical reality.

Copyright © Debbie Guzzi | Year Posted 2009

Details | Light Poetry | |

Two Riding On A Single

Two riding on a single
Man! How fast that bike will go
Down the hill around the curve
Blow wind blow

At the very bottom piled up
In a culvert drain
In great agony and pain
Totally distained

Crumpled metal, torn clothes
Bleeding and blood stains
Harsh words from parents
Tears as soap and water cleaned

All the cuts and bruises
And clothes that had to be changed
What an ending to Christmas
The joy of Santa's gift

Lying dented and scuffed bent
Beside the porch needing to be fixed

Copyright © Sara Kendrick | Year Posted 2009

Details | I do not know? | |

Imagination

I have a wandering mind
my lines as I draw them
over the grid as I steer them
through intersections
I veer them
perspectives I see
when I peer them...
detecting truth
in the dots as I hear them

A gentle Awe
the sound of pause
soft claw.ing sings from my pen
when the lines are drawn
and my mind goes wandering...

About U
Imagination.
My artful perception.

56 signed.The Declaration...

Copyright © Izzy Gumbo | Year Posted 2009

Details | Free verse | |

My Sudoku Life

And I walk
across numerical figments
speaking hyperbole dialect to their imaginations.

Numb, blocky gaps
whisper invitation to secret club.

Enticing my stature
to belong
to become exponent’s side-kick.

So they can welcome me with open arms.

Coating my digits with inoperable tumors
double-knotted in hot pink laced bow
and baby-breath scent.

They even left a Walmart Rollback smiley face sticker
with crack residue on right cheek
and a comic-style bubble caption, “welcome home puppet”.

Yes!

This is exactly how Mother 1 told me it would be.

Kinda like marriage,
but less detail-oriented.

But, I could never fit in.

For I am neither positive
nor negative
about their (cult) ural ways.

Timing would always be off.

An arm from the clock that suffered a stroke at Midnight…

They’d never understand,
how they’d alter this unevenly, odd numerical figment.

For they’ll just calculate,
deduce,
my sum with rusty protractor.

This Zero, into a fraction...

© Drake J. Eszes

Copyright © Drake Eszes | Year Posted 2010

Details | Light Poetry | |

Fruit Loops

You know we’re very poor, of that we have certainly, never denied.
Then the ‘Obama-I-don’t-Care’ gave us another whammy, Yes, indeed! Oh My!
Now, it’s Peanut butter we will have for supper, and even that we’ll spread thin.
And the little birdies we gave a cup of bird seed, occasionally, when we dared…

Well, this morning they got a handfull of Fruit Loops, and they were really stale!
With the sugar they have in galore, now birdies are doing cartwheels at my door.
All that crazy energy, they’re acting just like my kids. Hey! Is that my old phone?
They’re texting wildly! Not watching where they go! Hey! There’s a tree! Oh No!

Some are doing cartwheels… While others are staggering back and forth!
But bird seeds not an option, under Obamas new plan, now! Don’t you know!
We ate it all last week, on our free cheese, from the Food Pantry, Not! A! Joke!
He was supposed to make it affordable, now he put food… WAY out the door!

Hey! We WERE the poor ones! Now we’re worse, as he runs away! By Darn!
OOOPPPS! Maybe Fruit Loops weren’t such a good idea, after all, I surmise!
The Dirty Birdies, are walking upside down, in circles, saying they want more!
If only they had hands! I’d get out my camera, but I hocked it, for the food store!

We had good insurance before the ‘Obama-I-Don’t-Care’! But Now it’s gone…
And our small paycheck was cut in half! So I stopped my cable!… Well, Darn!
Hubby walks miles to work, in the snow, backwards, no shoes, uphill! It’s true!

Excuse me! I have to go! For it’s off to the Food Pantry, with others I am bound!
I’d impeach that silly idiot! But I’d rather, he had to eat, just like us, at our house!
Hey! Maybe that explains his crazy actions… Take his Fruit Loops away, By Gosh!
And when you’re done, make sure he uses the same ‘Obama-I-Don’t-Care’… As us!

Then take away that raise from Congress… to fill the Food Pantries… Yea! I SAY!
When you’re done! Remember to vote Them ALL OUT! For what they have done today!
Then send them Dumpster Diving with me… Because they’ll need to learn the art!
Darn! What Now? Oh Oh! Those little Dirty Birdies… Have learned how to fart!

Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2014

Details | Light Poetry | |

Dragons Wish

One night while stargazing, Dragon and I, got to see a falling star… descend.
I thought that would be great, so I told him he could make a wish on them…
But Dragon’s are really quite unique, and don’t always think, like you and me. 
No, NOT at all! And you should believe, things began to unravel, immediately:

About to make that wish… He realized the moon descends every night.
And the sun descends, like the moon… every single day, at every Twilight.
Becoming horrified that so many wishes had gone by him, totally unused!
He decided to wish upon the star, that all past wishes, can now come, to be used.

There is logic here, I think, as Dragon hordes things; he’d do it with wishes, too.
When I tried to explain, that’s not how wishes work, they have to be rare and few.
With falling stars, it has to come from one, that came to ground, willing to share.
Now Dragon is a stubborn thing and decided, I wanted them all for myself, to snare.

He stomped his foot, as the 2 year old he is, crying he didn’t want to share not one.
So I patiently explained that there are bigger stars everywhere, bigger than our sun!
He was sure I’d done him wrong and had lied, after all, his eyes are very keen.
The bigger, the better, and our sun was the biggest thing, that he had ever seen!

It’s brightness has gobs of power, in fact, I’d said it powers all the Earth, he recalled.
So its wish couldn’t be small… he said it’s not nice, to not share, with him at all.
Now a tantrum was about to ensue, from our 2 year old who’d skipped his nap.
And don’t forget he’s a Dragon, too! It wasn’t a good idea to fall into this trap!

Some things are better to not go through. Why fight the battle, if you can stop the war?
In the end I took that wish… and wished I’d never took him on that wishful tour.
You know what? I did find that peace finally came back and did preside, in a wink.
As I got his blankie for his bed, and tucked him in so nice and neat, I paused to think.

Next year would be a better time, to view the meteor showers, after we both have…
A well-deserved nap. Don’t you think? When he’s a tad more grown up, I did add…
Besides my wishes, in the past, have served me well, as they brought him here to me.
And I ’d need one more wish this year, to help him when flying… to not hit the trees!

Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2014

Details | Light Poetry | |

Dragon and Dr Seuss

"Oh, The places You'll Go!"

Dragon was in a slump as the kids all left to go back to school.
So I read to him:“All the Places You’ll Go!” by good Dr Seuss.
He loved “Oh, the things you will find if you don’t stay behind!”
Now, the school needed Crossing Guards. It was in the news times.

So Dragon volunteered… What else could he do?
After all, a Hero is a Hero- No matter what you chose to do.
Now Dragon read the rules. All that they got.
So Dragon marched off to be a Crossing Guard, at that…

Now Dragon Knew what DR Seuss knew.
“Out there things can happen, and frequently do,
  To people as brainy and footsy as you.
  And when things start to happen, don’t worry, don’t stew.
  Just go right along, you’ll start happening too!”

But traffic was too heavy, to cross the street, to the schoolyard!
And yes, one car, really, did run over, his feet and his tail!
And his Super Hero Cape got snagged by a car!
He was drug down the street, tho not very far…

But do not fear for a Dragon like ours…
He never gives up… so he reached for the stars!
As, yes, he remembered what Dr. Seuss had said.
“Think left and think right and think low and think high.
 Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try.”

So Dragon took the kids and sailed up to the sky.
But parents don’t like their kids to go sailing by,
Or for cars to get rained on, by hot Dragon embers, from up high.
And his boss didn’t think him… so very clever… by far!
As Dragon was fired on his… very… very… first day so far.

And Tears rained on everyone as Dragon sadly flew away!
As he went off to sit on the hill, over looking a highway, further away.
But Dragon so wise, remembered what Dr. Seuss said:

“Oh the things you can think up if only you try!" And
“It doesn’t matter what it is. What matters is what it will become.”
So at that… Dragon began to look around…

Life is in the journey he’d often been told, or so he thought,
As he watched butterflies trying to cross the road below.
Then Dragon knew Dr Seuss was: “Truer than True”, 
when he said:

“Don’t grumble! Don’t Stew!
Some critters are much-much,
Oh every so much-much,
So muchly much-much more unlucky than you!”

So Dragon went down to the edge of the road.
And he flapped his wings harder- harder than ever before.
His wind threw the butterflies… higher and higher into the air.
To where they could safely cross the road… to way over there.

He remembered that some times you just, won’t fit in…
“Because sometimes you have to be odd to be number one.”
And he had to agree that: 
“There is no one alive who is youer than you!”

Now he had a job to help butterflies go to where they would go.
And he smiled as he said to the butterflies… it’s true!
“Oh, the places you’ll go!”
Then he realized he’d done, all that is needed,
As he told them and agreed.

“And will you succeed?
Yes! You will indeed!
(98 and ¾ percent guaranteed)"
Be you bigger than big or smaller than small… 
You are you but with your mind, that won’t be all!

And that’s the best thing of all! So remember…
"To the world you may be one person; 
But to one person you may be the world.”
So never give up and never give in… For
“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, 
Nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”

Now he realized he had become a true Crossing Guard.
And during the months that the butterflies fly by…
He is their Crossing Guard who sends them along.
Thank you Dearly… my Dear… Dear Dr. Seuss!
No one could have explained it… as perfect as you.

Written 8-15-2015

Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2015

Details | Quatrain | |

My Sister Is An Alien!

My sister is strange
There's no doubt about it
She's an Alien,  that's why
Just get up and shout it!

Her mind control crying
Gets her anything she wants
I say "That's not fair!"
But she just looks at me and taunts

My sister is strange
There's no doubt about it
She's an Alien,  that's why
Just get up and shout it!

It's just a disguise
I'm on to her
Is she scaly
Or covered in fur

My sister is strange
There's no doubt about it
She's an Alien,  that's why
Just get up and shout it!

She's spying on us
They 're ready to invade
So don't just be frightened
Be very afraid!

My sister is strange
There's no doubt about it
She's an Alien,  that's why
Just get up and shout it!


She knows I'm on to her
She's calling for friends
So run for your life
And hide till it ends

Copyright © James Heseltine | Year Posted 2005

Details | Light Poetry | |

Dragon News Flash

News Flash! Dragons Back! He’s the News Hog of the Day.
No one can print, without him, becoming entangled in some way.
He heard that there’s a new newspaper lurking, around the bend.
He wants to know… if he can pose as the new Super Hero, therein?

He’s already has a cape, and cell phone, so those in trouble, can call.
But beware, of his landings, he’s known to knock things down, even walls.
Still he gives a striking pose for the paparazzi, who always following him.
He’s been made a junior fireman, because fire simply, doesn’t bother him.

He saved a cat form Old Lady Moores’ burning barn, just the other day.
Don’t believe the rumor, it started from a stray spark, one of his, they say.
Remember don’t say that, it makes our little Dragon cry…it was the wind!
Our Carpenter Trolls are building a new one; to replace the one, he did singe!

Acorn Falls is our town; Dragon seems to have put it on the map, to stay.
Folks in town are wanting a name change, to Dragon’s Mayhem Falls, today!
If you want an exciting vacation, let me know, I’ll tell you where, it’s at!
Here are the numbers to call, to contact us, and we even rent hard hats.

The carpenter Troll’s are             1-800-555- Repair & Fix
The town number has become      1-800-555- Mayhem Falls
My number for a joyous write is    1-800-555- let it rip
To Rent a Super Hero Dragon is    1-800-555-Dragon Here

Just remember that if you call Dragon, Please keep the other numbers on hand.
There’s a free coupon given, for first time services, if things don't go as planned.
And remember, if repairs are needed, a free barbecue, can be on the house.
Especially, if that’s what’s burning, so be prepared, eventually it'll be, put out!

Written 10-18-2014

Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2014

Details | Light Poetry | |

A Troll in My Trunk

A Troll in My Trunk
(Inspired by the YouTube video ‘A Monkey in your Trunk’)


Ok! Some crazy person made a YouTube video, about a monkey in your trunk.
Yep, my Trolls saw it, on their new cell phones. Now, Who would of thunk?
Honestly! I tried to take those phones away. Guess What? They said no! Way! 
They’re twitter and app crazy and with technology, are quite ready to stay.

Where did they get those fancy phones? And just where did I first, go wrong?
A modern, savvy, techno Troll… It seems to me, is just so very, very wrong!
How will I ever keep up with their mayhem, if I’m a step behind? Surely, You see?
Well, all that came to a screeching halt, on a bridge, not long ago. Eweeee!

Then I had a flat, and was thinking whom to call, while in the middle of a bridge.
When suddenly a Troll popped out of my trunk. Yes, for sure, he really, really did!
Now Trolls don’t fit in little trunks, so my spare, in there, wouldn’t be, in play. Hey!
That is, unless, a tire pancake is what you really need. But that just wasn’t me today.

So I kicked the flat and wished to myself, that all 4 tires could some how, be the same.
So Trolls being Trolls, he preceded to flatten the other three as I cried out, No! NO!
Then I muttered ‘Gee now, how am I to get the car to the other side’ Yep, then I cried!
You guessed? The Troll picked up the car and strolled off pushing the other cars aside. 

When I looked back, my Troll was now trying to take tolls, yea, wouldn’t you know?
This in turn caused still more problems, for the other cars left pushed aside in the roe.
A policeman had been called! Yep, the Sheriff of Crazyland, was now there to behold.
He gave tickets to me for disturbing the peace, and stopping the traffic flow. Oh, Woe!

Being annoyed, our Troll then picked the sheriff up, and threw him off the bridge.
Thank goodness, the bridge was small, close to the creek and also just a little smidge.
When he crawled up, his eyes were as hard as nails, and Yes, he threw the book at me.
Wet and soggy as that might be, he wouldn’t believe in my innocence at all, you see.

Soooo… I now reside in our small City Jail, as the Troll was sent home, you bet!
But oddly, there was more peace in here, than at my home, I would ever truly get.
Instead of paying my fines, I decided to do some, VERY quiet time, without my brood.
Unfortunately, without me to control my ditzy Dragon and bunch, craziness ensued.

The town was now determined to get me out… So piled them all in my cell, all about.
They won! The louts! But not without Grandpa Troll first blocking all their YouTube! 
Hey silly Trolls... Take that!

1st Place in Humorous Poetry Contest Won 5-18-2015

Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2015

Details | Light Poetry | |

Singing In The Rain

It was raining and all were feeling blue. Writer’s block wasn’t helping…
What was I to do? Suddenly… in popped the Possum of Possibilities!
Then a most peculiar thing, my mind had lots of ideas. Boy it did sing!
How did he do it? Do I really care? I wanted the fun, he makes everywhere.

He quickly grabbed our sleepy Dragon, who’d been spread out upon the couch.
And they soared above the rain clouds, grabbing rays of sunshine from above.
Well, do tell! Naturally, it was still raining, so he had hid them in his pouch.
Then he found Dragon’s selfie stick, when he got back, into our little house.

He then attached a ray of sunshine, where the camera would normally, be put.
Then, to protect it from the rain, to keep the little ray of sunshine, dry all day.
He put it under an umbrella, and for all in the house, did the exact same thing.
Now, we’ll all have fun, playing in the rain, as our little rays… light the way.

No more, Dragon flying around, trying to… fan those dark, rain clouds away.
He’s using that ray of sunshine, to get his summer tan, while adding his own…
Fire glow detailing to his scales. Looks rather smart. Don’t you think? Do tell!
Dragon is now splashing in the water puddles, and singing ‘Twist and Shout’!

His penguins are following, along behind, and dancing to 'Singing in The Rain'. 
Indeed, we can’t seem to get the umbrellas and selfie sticks… from their…
little penguin flipper, hand thingies. Oh well! If you can't beat them, join them! 
As ALL the town has done! Dragon’s the new Pied Piper of puddle jumping… 

Newly found… Goes to show that. You can’t keep a good town down! Indeed!
We’ll be doing ‘Singing in the Rain’soon, instead of ‘Shakespeare in the Park’.
Grandpa Troll has now mastered the art of jumping into one water puddle…
And coming out another… later on… somewhere along… down the road!

His new lessons on how to do this… Have now begun… So TAKE THAT!
Mister Rain Cloud!  Remember! You were the one to enter… Mayhem Falls!
Where even you can brighten the day, and where, even Mayhem can be fun… 
Now, if only, I could get you to behave, and leave that Little ray of sunshine… 

On MY selfie stick, ALONE! …What? He’s flirting? With me? Do tell!!!
Well, if he learns to smile a bit… He’ll be welcome to hang around!
After all… The Possum of Possibilities says he has more fun to bring!
If you come along… 

Written 7-22-2015

Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2015

Details | Light Poetry | |

Dragon An Army of One

Dragon got to thinking… And that’s always a frightening thing!
One of my son’s went into the Army, so he would do the same,
He’d been told, Soldiers are our Heroes, and he wanted to be one.
So he flew right down to the recruiters, and quickly signed up. Huh?
When I found he’d done it, the Army declared it a legal, done deed.
As a mother hen, I jumped up & down; for those silly clucks, to see.

True, an ancestor was a knight, but he’s 2 year old, too young, to fight. 
He still holds his blankie and nappie times tight… it wasn’t very bright.
All they saw was a big, fiery, weapon thing, THEY wanted to hold tight.
Grandpa Troll said, let him go, for they have a Dragon, by the tail, alright.
You know! He’d be home, in a day or two; the Army had much to learn.
So to the Army, Dragon did go! With tears in my eyes, I waved goodbye.

Then the fun began! The first night they couldn’t find him enough to eat.
His tummy growled, so nobody could sleep, and his blankie, it was gone!
Hurry up and wait, was the name of the day, so not a good Dragon Day.
Nappie times were frowned upon, so Dragon became grouchy and tired!
He marched so hard the earth did quake, flew to the end, to finish his nap.
The sergeant, not impressed, KP, & pealing potatoes became his thing, so…

He fired and cooked them clean, then toilets got a blue fiery sheen, it seems.
They put him in the field again, to crawl thru the mud, with bullets overhead.
He was temped to fire them up, you know, but as usual, he was a gentle soul!
Tired, he collected mud & stones, flew & dropped them, on the shooters heads. 
Until, They were all out cold. Missing the sergeant by an inch. Ooops! Yep!
Here we go again! He was to police the beautiful parade grounds, but, then… 

It came out crisp, not green. Now the sergeant was getting mad, mean & lean.
But when he tried to stand nose to nose… He stepped on little Dragon’s toes!
A sight ensued as never seen! The Drill sergeant’s eyebrows and his clothes…
Disappeared. He coughed and blew out a little smoke! Our hero came that day.
Yes… Walker Texas Ranger came to camp…but Dragon came over and…
Dragon cried in his lap, then Walker got him to do his chores, right after his nap.

Walker’s not dumb, you see! And serving second breakfast was the right thing.
Dragon then did everything, Perfect and looking, oh, so, fierce. But then again,
This time Dragon did his poopy thing… On the General’s wife’s prized roses…
Not a good thing! So the TRUE chain of command, Declared Dragon…
A baby again… Especially, when he cried, cuddled, and napped in her arms…
What could the General do? Orders are orders… they say, And the General…

He’s no dummy, so Walker brought Dragon home that day. My hero in the end!

Written by Carol Eastman 1-29-2015

Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2015

Details | Limerick | |

Don't Disturb The Hive

Run, jump, scream, duck, dodge and leap 
Try to stay on your running feet 
Honey in the hive 
The bees are alive 
Run, jump, scream, don't fall and leap!

Copyright © Joseph Spence Sr | Year Posted 2006

Details | Light Poetry | |

Then I Opened That Door

Then I Opened That Door…

To The Question: “How was your Day?” came this response…

The other day I arrived at work and found my chair was gone.  Oh the Horrors!
No way to rest at my desk.  I looked and scurried all about for it.
Someone said to just grab another one.  “Grab another one?” I queried?
I told them that this is no ordinary chair.  It was special.

It was the legendary Chair that lays the Golden Eggs.  And I did not stop there.
I had back and leg pain and someone named Billy Beanstalk found this chair for me.
He had gone thru his network of vines… I mean friends.
He talked to Penny Patty (middle name CowPie, but I digress).
 
And when she heard about my missing chair she had a cow.
No, really.  She owned a real cow with farmland to spare.
Anyway, Billie had the beans to spread the word far and wide.
It caught the attention of Penny and the cow.  The cow wasn’t talking.  He was mooody.

Penny mentioned the penchant of Ogres with flagons from wagons,
Who lived in caves by the waves. (I am not making this up!)
They loved chairs by the pairs and tables with strange labels.
This story should not be confused with dragons with issues.

As I was saying, Billy and I were able to sneak into the Ogres Lair.
And inside I found my chair.  How did I know it was my chair, you ask?
I didn’t put the label on the table; it was on the chair with the hair,
On the flagons were dragons, where the brew was true.

Billy and I will have to tell Penny and the cow about this.  The cow still isn’t talking.
We proceeded to sneak the chair by the Ogres who slept by the hour.
It wouldn’t be nice to bring the Ogres awake by the lake, 
That’s why there were waves by the caves.

So that is how we were able to retrieve my Chair that lays the Golden Eggs,
And I can finally rest my back and legs.
Really now, I did not make this up.  It really happened.
About the cow, I think the Ogres had one too,
 After they found they didn’t have an even pair of chairs.

Written by Hubby at the encouragement of Dragon and Wuffie Poo
Written 6-25-2015

Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2015

Details | Free verse | |

English Language - 1 - Repost

                                   I failed English in High School
                                  Could not understand the writing rule 
                            If I say, when it reigns it pores, people agree
              Yet when I write the same phrase people say what’s wrong with me  

             I before E (accept) after C less it sounds like an a as in neighbor or weigh
                               Where do the words foreign and sovereign (steigh)
             Do they stay with a goose among geese or with a moose among (meese)
             Do they live in a house with a scavenger mouse or something much bigger
                             Is there several (hice) with several scavenger mice

Copyright © HGarvey Daniel Esquire | Year Posted 2012

Details | Light Poetry | |

Gone Fishing

The snow so deep… That it was over our heads… Was a melting by the hour!
Give it a day, or two at most… and with this heat… it would all be gone, forever!
But in the meantime, we were sadly stuck, in mud, deep, within our own backyard!
The water couldn't run off fast enough; our backyard had become a swamp, marred!

Just then, low and behold my old Volkswagen bubbled up, thru the mud it came!
You know, the one, surely you do! Last year it had floated down the storm drain!
Now, low and behold something got out! OH WHAT I’ll never, ever, really know!
Said he was the REAL Swamp Thing, and tired of spring-cleaning his house, so…

He chained the car to a tree, as he hopped out. Said his name was “Gone Fishing”.
Said his Mama read it on a sign, and used it to name her sweet, baby, Swamp Thing!
But then, he saw our back yard, he shouted in delight and decided to visit for a spell! 
After all, it’s turned into a real swamp! And he’s the real Swamp Thing! So, Do Tell!

Dragon, the penguins, and all else, followed him straight, to the swamp so profound..
The penguins slid down the muddy slope, and followed the Swamp Thing all around.
But when Dragon tried, his weight got him stuck! We had to wench him, to the shore.
Mud became the name of the day, with mud and snowball fights going on, in galore!

Everyone was in seventh heaven, ‘Gone Fishing’ the same, as they slide, all about!
Fun ensued! For how often can he vacation about? Only once a year! No doubt!
After 2 days of fun, the snow was almost gone, so we cleaned them, as they played.
Yes, the fire hydrant was turned on! Dragon threw his Penguins, happily, into the spray!

That shot them almost to the moon above! The closest to flying they would ever be!
They soared then slide down the street. Even Dragon did play this time! How sweet!
But ‘Gone Fishing’ knew his vacation was up. So he waved a hearty good bye…
As he jumped into the Volkswagen again, and let it fly, and man, could that baby, fly!

It flew down the street, and back down the drain! Before our very own eyes!
That was the last time we saw the Swamp Thing, as we waved, a sad goodbye!
But next time it snows to mile high deep… as it melts, we’ll be looking for our friend.
Here lies our story of ‘Gone Fishing”. It’s real! Honest! To you, I’d never lie! I defend!

And I expect, where ever he really is now…  He’s ‘Gone Fishing’…THE END

Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2014

Details | Free verse | |

Toilet Talk

What does one do when in the public loo, 
Apart from the obvious one’s or two’s, well it’s true!
Walls decorated with an array of graffiti and words
Scribble, or jokes, tasteless, amusing or absurd  
The mischief one gets up to, in a moment of quiet
Who would of thought to have a marker on hand
Ready for the opportunity to sign one’s tag
Tell me have you ever pondered the thought
Of having a wall of poetry, for the toilet door
Like a whiteboard, that you can clean with ease
Always ready for a new day, or week of ideas
Just imagine the mind’s workings in progress
Looking straight back at you when your mind is in idle 
This is what happens when one is on the loo
Time on one’s hands to think things through!

Copyright © Shaz Cheesman | Year Posted 2012

Details | Light Poetry | |

You Are What You Think

When you think, you’ll become, more than you are.
You’ll become what you think; So take note, of it all.
More important, think WHAT, you WANT to be!
For Dragon it was a Hero… His everything!
He wanted to become a Hero for Everyone!
So he helped old Mr. Codger, cross the street. Well Done!

Tho, it would’ve worked better, if he’d wanted to go.
Still, it was a start… Now surely, you know…
Old Mr. Codger patted his head, with his walking stick!
Wasn’t he sweet! It let Dragon know, he’d done, the right thing!
Now, he was sure! Surely…you agree! Now, don’t you think?
Next Dragon took a walk into the park…

There the Sheriff of Crazyland wanted Dragon to clean,
His pet Pigeons’ Poo from a statue so tall and so lean…
Dragon cleaned it with flames, a fast, and admirable thing!
Unfortunately, parts melted, but that, had happened before.
And Dragon was proud, he’d helped, as he left, with a grin.
Remember! Dragon is a baby, of three… to our chagrin.

He’ll learn the finer art of helping… Perhaps, another day.
Next, Dragon spied a young child riding a horse…
The horse spooked and ran off, as The Mother screamed away!
They ran to the trees, with Dragon a hero, again! What A Day!
He flew to the sky, picking up, the child AND the horse.
He laid them down safely, at the feet of the Mom, of course! 

He didn’t look back… As she screamed and she yelled…
That they’d become scared, just when, he’d come around!
He knew, he’d come, at just the right place, and the right time.
Dragon saved the day, definitely! … A Hero… Sublime!
He smiled as he said; a True Hero’s work is never done!
Be you bigger than big or smaller than small… 

You are you… but with your mind, that won’t be all!
And that’s the best thing! So remember… It’s true…
With practice and thinking, You’ll become,  a better You!
So Never give up and never give in… to the very end.
You’ll get better with practice… as Your thinking grows!
Tho with Dragon we can only hope… it will be so…  

At least, we know, it’s true… that Dragon will keep trying! 
Yes, we know, that he will! Honest! Just Saying!

Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2015

Details | Rhyme | |

When Sheep Collide

'Tis strange where we should get the notion
That poetry expressed in motion
Should within the human form reside.
When nature gives us many chances
Unpractised and ephemeral dances
Like in a muddy field when sheep collide

Truth is, that nature's not so humble
And doesn't mind the dancer's stumble
There's nothing that it ever seeks to hide
Uncaring it leaves all revealed
And is not shamed if one small field
Has crazy sheep and one long muddy slide

They're mad, they're bad, they're having fun
Those naughty sheep and every one
Is doing what convention has denied
The hillside's muddy, wet and slick
With crazy sheepies sliding quick
Down to the bottom, down where sheep collide.

Many count good nature's fare
The birdsong and the country air
Among the wonders of the countryside
But strange delight can yet be found
In woolly bodies sliding round
A simple muddy field where sheep collide.

While nature guides celestial spheres
In cosmic dances, it appears,
With majesty the earthborn are denied
Down far beneath in mud and grass
A sheep slides on its woolly a***:
A sense of fun, though not a sense of pride.

Copyright © Lee Leon | Year Posted 2010

Details | Light Poetry | |

Dragons Zoo Field Trip

My son came home from school one day, wanting permission to go, to the Zoo.
His field trip sparked a riot. Can you imagine at home, what immediately ensued?
Trolls, Dragon, the weird frogs, plus a sundry of forest folk, all wanted to come.
Woe is me, I thought, as I fainted dead away. Can I even remotely get this undone?

Our neighbor witch, thought it a marvelous thing. She definitely wanted to be there.
But then, now did the entire, blooming forest folk! Can you imagine the result? I swear!
Naturally, the Zoo said no! Then I offered them the rights for the resulting video show.
Naturally, the News Guys wanted to come, for a reality story, all new and fully aglow.

Yes, ‘The Wild is about to meet, the Caged.’ Came the headlines from everywhere.
The witch put a spell on everyone; to successfully return us, without a worry or care.
Then she zapped… Us… There. The Penguins are barbarians, The Weird Frogs cried.
But jumped in, for a good time as the Puffins taught them to ride, their water slide.

The Polar Bears got a chance to play, for a change, with our fun filled Forest Bears.
The dragon went straight to the monkey house, and let them all out… of their lair!
Never fear, he let them ride to the sky, with acrobatics included for them, in the ride.
You see, they’re a curious lot, and literally wanted to see where the human’s abide.

But when they finally saw, what it looked like, they gladly went back, to their home.
Not enough trees for their liking… and cars trapping people in their cages, of chrome.
Now the beavers loved the otters, and the seals made the Trolls roar with, endless fun.
The seals put on a show and the Trolls paid a toll by rubbing their tummies, every one.

The Walrus joined in for the water fun, spraying everyone, and giving the Trolls a ride.
No one was bored, that day, as the giraffes watched happily, from where they reside.
Then as the night came to a close the dragon, did a spectacular, fireworks show.
I’d been near dead with worry. But the day went great, as I finally, came to know.

For once in my life, every thing was grand… as we safely made it home, though late.
Too bad Dragon did sneak back, to bring the Barbarian Penguins, home to our lake.
The next morning I got up to a God-awful noise for the penguins wanted to eat, now!
I could hear them, though they were in my recliners, all down by the shore. I avow!

Not to mention, the Zoo authorities had caught dragon on videotape, start to finish.
I thought we were in trouble, until a truck arrived with the penguins breakfast fish.
The authorities had come along, and wanted them kept right where they are. Oh Joy!
It appears renovations were scheduled, for their beloved home, at the Zoo. So enjoy!

Apparently, this would be their temporary home, so with fond regards… 
They left and… I put Dragon in charge… Can’t wait for the results… to start! 

Copyright © Carol Eastman | Year Posted 2013

Details | Couplet | |

Loony Tunes

<                                        Cascading lakes and streams
                                           The loon stands out it seems

                                           Minnesota's state bird
                                           I know it must sound absurd


                                           Adopted in nineteen sixty one
                                           Wails and yodels heard under the sun


                                          Black and white bearing red eyes
                                          Wingspans five feet can make one cry


                                          Body lengths up to three feet
                                          Yet  clumsy on lands and moss peat


                                          They are high speed flyers
                                          And great underwater divers


                                          They can dive up to ninety feet
                                          In pursuit of fish they want to eat

                                      
                                         They are even on our license plates
                                         An critical habitat drawn on metal slates


                                         Twelve thousand of these unique birds
                                         God that has to be a lot of turds

 
                                        But for now I'll enjoy it's captured views
                                        Of this beautiful loon and it's most colorful hues








Written By Katherine Stella
Entry For Mini - Blog  Beautiful Bird Contest
By Constance ~ A Rambling Poet

Copyright © Katherine Stella | Year Posted 2010

Details | Rhyme | |

O' possum

O' possum O' possum
Sleep the day away
Await the setting of the sun
before you go and play

As the dusk arrives at last
Awake and stretch your paws
Don't clamber from your tree too fast
Hang tightly with your claws

The brown team 'v' the greys
Its football night you see
they'll use a melon for a ball
with a ring tailed referee

The match is quite a tussle
both teams are very strong
The crowd sit up in the trees
And Hisses them along

A possum breaks loose from the pack
Towards the goal he's bound
The goalie take a single look
Then plays dead upon the ground	

The melon bounces of the post
A dustbin crashes to the ground
The crowd invades with fever pitch 
To look in and see what's found



Copyright © Nick Bagnall | Year Posted 2011