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Hockey Funny Poems | Funny Poems About Hockey

These Hockey Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Hockey. These are the best examples of Hockey Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

Details | Couplet |

A Threat to the Hockey Team

Each child has talents and Dee always loved to skate
One night at the lake she was called up to the plate
 
The high school hockey team was “slip-sliding away”*
So call her a chauvinist; Dee wanted to play
 
But when the coach recruited her for the team
One boy offered a bottle of shaving cream
 
They couldn’t skate backward; Dee sure showed them how
Stealing their puck, she curtseyed and took a bow
 
Take it from Dee, men don’t like to be upstaged
By her free-flowing glide the boys were outraged
 
When it came time for the school’s holiday dance
To find a date, this skater hadn’t a chance  
 
 


Details | Free verse |

School day hell

They called it school
I called it hell 
From the huge imposing prison like doors
To the doom like toll of the bell
Everyday the same
Running for the school bus
Full of uncivilized Wild kids
Being pushed and shoved
Countless kids in uniform
Fearing the teachers and the day they were born
Satchel bags and lucky bags
Late for lessons again 
Going to the headmasters office 
For the cane ooh how my bum was in pain
Teacher at the blackboard
Pupils getting bored thinking about girls
Motorbikes and cars
Playing football in the yard
Playing sports in skirts and shorts
The one too big that moma bought
School desks fountain pens and ink
Boy how some of my classmates did stink
Trying to blow up the science lab
Bubbly gum and sherbert dabs
Giggling girls and bashful boys
Girls jutting out everywhere
Pigtails and ribbon on their hair
Always getting into a fight
Going home with a torn blazer and black eye every night
Lots of kisses on my homework
Rolling about in the dirt
Pouring ink into the headmasters aquarium
Holes in your trouser bum
Crafty cigarette hidden behind a wall
Morning assembly in the hall
School dinners you couldn't pick
Forced down your throat and made you sick
Being punished and kept behind doing lines
I must have wrote 'I must be good' a million times
Frog spawn put into teachers bag
Gas taps left on in the lab
The school nurse giving you a jab
Riot breaks out in class Running a race on sports day and coming last
Pea shooter and catapult Pulling your tongue out and being rude to adults
First love and nervous thumbled kiss
Girls with new sticky out bits
Hair growing in places it didn't before
Limbs aching and so sore
Always in trouble up to no good playing truant in the wood
Letting the tiers down on the headmasters car
Girls wearing training bra's
Exams were such a sham but wrote the answers under the bandage on my 
hand Teachers talking about things I didn't understand
What a waste of time I was going to be a pop star and soon a man
Those daydreams  of youth that still remain aloof
Hiding in the bushes watching  girls playing hockey and net ball on the field
I still recall how that used to feel
Long school summer holidays away from hell
School books thrown down the well
Then back to school again to days of terror
And pain up early facing hell.



Peter Dome,copyright.2014. July.


Details | Verse |

The man And The Can - Moonshiner 44


Once a bald-headed man was holding a can. He tripped and went down fell on his crown. He had a massive sore but was more than sorry when he read this and didn't like the way that I wrote for you his story. Dorian Petersen Potter Aka ladydp2000 Copyright@2014 10.11.2014