Shawn and Shauna fell deeply in love
And were on their way to be wed
When a car, on that day, took their lives straight away
As both of their bodies, lie dead
But their spirits were both drawn to heaven
As they stood, in front of the gates
Saint Peter was there, at the top of the stairs
When Shawn hollered loudly “Just Wait"
Now Peter looked puzzled, at Shawn
And said "This is no time to tarry "
Shawn spoke again, and refused to go in
Without being properly married
Saint Peter replied very softly
"We don't do that kind of thing here
But if you're willing to wait,
“I’ll see if I can, get it cleared”
Three months went by, while they waited
Saint Peter, show up with a Priest
"I know it was slow, But I want you to know
You’ll be married Forever at least"
As the wedding was getting started
Shawn asked a question, with doubt
What happens here in heaven
“If this marriage just doesn’t work out”
A silent filled up the heavens
Saint Peter, was shaking his head
And once he regained his composure
This is what Saint Peter said
“It took Three Months to find a Priest
In this Heavenly Foyer
How long do you think, I’ll take for me
Up here, to find you a Lawyer ?”
im livin in a world, where all eyes on me.
trying to curve my own route.
but route 66 keeps finding its way to me.
ive been plenty sick, in all the events layed before me.
even when i reflect to my lowest points
i dont regret any of the choices
That I’ve deployed in my era
A lot of it by error, but hey
We live in hell conditions and there ain’t no air condition
Or any guidelines when life throws you in the sidelines
But when hindsight twenty twenty hits
You’ll begin to understand life’s a bunch of equations and you in the mix of it
An you’ll have to think twice, before running into a situation and becoming the best of it
it’s what got me here, it’s what got us here
Ran with my thoughts blazing up to her place and
Guess what happened next
She opened up heaven’s gate
And just before late I slipped out
I’m a Grown ass man
Doin his thing, waitin to blow up like an old land mine
In doin what he drools over
But time after time
Something decides to creep up and cover the light
Lost my way
Then I revoked to ever know, I ever thought that way
But in the in between time, that in the mean time
Spent a lot of time
Gettin pissed off just to medicate and lift off
Don’t need Don Perion to sip off
Already had my way with the bottle
Even thought to get back with the trouble and rejoin the hustle
That’s just what happens to a man who really knows his old ways
Whos tired of making ends meet and ponders getting back to the streets.
Memory sets in and he remembers an O.G. saying
No matter how tall your pockets stand when you ball
Eventually times gonna make you fall
And I as I pull myself together
I don’t wanna end up like the twin towers rubble
I mean no offence to nine eleven but at that time I probably could have used a reverend
But all that’s irrelevant now
because i live with a different perspective now
there you go you made it to the end :-) comment if you like, constructive criticism wanted as well.
He starts singing songs of Ireland and we are home in a jiffy
"What's a jiffy," my mother wonders
"Guess where we went Granny?"
"I don't know but I have a feeling you are gonna tell me," answers my grandmother
"And Don't call me Granny!"
"We went to church so Poppy could ask secret questions."
"The priest gave Poppy a shot and a beer and Poppy sent me next store and he gave me money for taffy."
"He told me not to tell anyone especially you about the priest cause it's only for the priests ears."
"He said God would take away taffy and I'd never get another goodie and God would strike me dead if I told."
"So I can't tell anyone."
"He did," and she starts yelling and grabs a weapon,"what kind of idiot would be scaring a little child?"
Granny is standing on Poppy's toes and and asking him questions of where he'd been and getting a sniff of his breath
"So what did you tell the priest and him giving you consolation and a shot and beer."
"That little rat ," and thinks about the money for candy
Later, Granny is chasing Poppy with that big iron frying pan and poppy running and singing
"In Heaven they have no beer, that's why we drink it here."
"You damn fool I'm gonna bust you in the head, "and throws the pan at his head
Cousin Francis has bill collectors come to the house looking for him
Granny was four foot seven inches and she starts kicking him in the shin
My Mother grabs his Dick Tracy hat and she jumps on it and flattens it
I ask my mom where I was when this happened and she pauses
" You were in Heaven Patrick waiting with your brother!"
The truancy officers bang on the door and want to know where Uncle Charles is
Granny shrugs and says, "He is upstairs and the sound of the window going up sounds
They all run upstairs and see Uncle sliding down the tree and running as fast as his
seven year legs can move
He comes home later that evening holding a goose under his arm
And Poppy has a soft-boiled goose egg for breakfast every morning
I ask Uncle what happened to that goose and He said,"one day he came home and
they had chicken for dinner."
And Poppy was gone to heaven to get me and my brother ready Mom says
And Granny sits my brother and me on her lap and says,"you two knuckleheads listen up."
"This is very important so don't forget it."
"Treat people the way you want to be treated, because you never know who is going to hand you your last glass of water"
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?
Halloween was coming and the angels thought they'd have some fun,
Since they sometimes thought of dressing up before the Holy One.
They all got together and decided to do just that,
Dress up in devilish costumes...Surprise the Lord like some earthly college frat.
Each one was to make his costume from the ethereal
A very inexpensive and unusual type of material.
Then, when the Lord was looking down at earth
Don the costumes for some Heavenly mirth.
It'll be a costume party for us here in our Heavenly abode
Different from always wearing these white sophisticated robes.
We'll have a good laugh and God will understand
We're just having a laugh here in His Heavenly plan.
The moment came, all the costumes had been made
And when the Lord looked up, Heaven was a different shade.
"Something is amiss, here." , He said in the shades of that red hue
Perhaps I'll bring Satan here, to find out if this is something new.
It would be difficult to invite that guest into heaven you see
As he had been banished for all the eons of centuries.
But nothing is impossible for the Lord for He can do any feat
And just when he was to summon Satan, the Angels all shouted
"Trick or Treat"!
~~Johnny Depp Wrapped in ChocolateThat Would Be Heaven Sent~~
Bonjour môn amies a ballade to write, will be my fait accompli
The trials of a woman to bring love - in a village that did not play.
An alluring female chocolatier opens a choclaterie-e
Hated by the Mayor she wished her plans she never did lay
Ooh la la !! Her dress was racy - but still they began to pay
Johnny Depp was her gypsy lover when on the river they went
But she had to win the love of others to fulfil plans, come what may
Johnny Depp wrapped in chocolate - that would be heaven sent.
A village so French - a so called femme fatal-e
She determined to change there outlook and stay
Viva la difference, but one by one she turned them to see
Her chocolate treats did melt in mouth - in secret they did say
C’est manifique - they whispered with authority
Her sweets bites bought together those she thought were meant
Even though some tried to block her treats others made a silent plea
Johnny Depp wrapped in chocolate – that would be heaven sent.
To church the lady never went an illegitimate child the Mayor did see
But slowly the French ladies turned to love this alluring woman and say
Her chocolate they thought magical- her raison d’etre it must be
Her tête-à-têtes were to open hearts, and bring peace and love to stay
Reconciliations made in her chocolate shop - their thoughts began to sway
But no chocolates were they to eat, and the reason - it was lent…
But those that did dare to try - found on their tongues it did dance and play
But Johnny Depp wrapped in chocolate - that would be heaven sent.
Prince Depp my piece-de-resistance, is there for all to see
My joie de vivre if I had been there, even though it may be lent
I would have paid money just to see…
Johnny Depp wrapped in chocolate - that would be heaven sent.
For the Un Deux Trois contest....well at least I tried ha ha
Dancing with the devil
Like I never danced before
Doing the fiery tango
On a fire flaming floor
In the crook of his arm
Our hips pressed together
Curving me round and round
Like I'm a weightless feather
Our feet move to Milonga
While forsaken souls watch
White cheek pressed to red cheek
His breath smells of age old scotch
My foot darts between his shoes
A fancy leg twist around his calf
Capturing the heat and passion
While trying not to hysterically laugh
If I can dance to perfection
Ironically I'll get to leave
Angels give me strength
And let my soul win reprieve
For I was meant to dance
In paradise on a white cloud
Sent to hell for dancing the tango
In Heaven only waltzes are allowed
it seems like an eternity
since ive seen ur smile
the fact that uve been gone
still has me in deep denial
a lot of stuff has happened
since ur smile left this earth
gatherings, eagles losing, parties
life changes and brooklyns birth
a lot of people miss u greatly
n think about u everyday
our last picture together
on my dresser it will stay
ur deep voice, ur humor, ur kindness
is what i tend to miss the most
ur passing forever broke my heart
but our memories i hold close
i must admit, i did hit rock bottom
drugs n alcohol i used to cope
i took ur passing very hard
i started to give up hope
but i looked into brooklyns eyes
n caught a glimpse of u
u probably would have kicked my ass
sober now i stay true
mom also met a fine fella
u actually would approve
no need to kick this guys ass
hes good to her n the kids to
madison is so smart n beautiful
byron is turning into a handsome man
there both striving so well
u should be a very proud dad
two of ur friends got engaged
there so cute n its exciting news
i hope they live a life of happiness
i know u would feel the same to
ur brother misses u the most
hes coping the best he can
he misses u as much as i do
he was ur biggest fan
ur neighbors n friends
also stop by ur page
reminiscing about the good times
the laughter n good chatter ud engage
thank-god for all the music
its a good way to deal with pain in life
cause without u here with us
its like eating steak without a knife
im over trying to understand
i feel ur in a happier place
you had ur own reasons
your demons u finally faced
but in a couple days
ur birthday we will celebrate
the big thirty seven u turn
teasing u old man woulda been great
your always in our hearts
in our thoughts forever jay
so while ur up in heaven...
smile...cause its ur birthday :)
There once was a husband in heaven
His faults per hour averaged seven
In spite of all of his rot
His wife would scold not
Ah, this husband was living in heaven!
Contest: Husbands are in Heaven whose wives scold not (Top Ten Winner)
Sponsored by: Dr.Ram Mehta
Lately I’ve been thinking about heaven
And the renowned paradise up there
Plus getting to see my brethren
And memories that we’ll get to share
But a thought came into my noodle
An idea I’ve never thought before
That my kin, of which there must be oodles
Of maybe ten thousand or more
Coz I expect most my past relations
Have made the trip above the clouds
And if they’re all there since creation
Then they must have formed a large crowd
So that not only grandparents I’ll see
Yes sure enough, dead cousins too
Plus there’ll be grand’s to the tenth degree
In a couple of miles-long queue
Yes, they’ll most likely all know my name
And introduce me while giving their own
But after hugging great, great, great aunt Mame
All the other names will remain unknown
Yet, in heaven we’ll all be happy
And enjoy each day of the week
That is until great to the 8th grand pappy
Loses his teeth and refuses to speak
For Carol's Humor Contest
What makes you happy?
Is it the stars at night?
The sound of the chirping birds?
Or is it because you received a blessing?
Are you happy because your chicken already laid its first egg?
Or because you've been enrolled to a school?
Is it because you've been rewarded a new pair of slippers?
Or because you got what you wanted from the mall?
Are you happy because your mom allowed you to have an ice cream?
Or maybe because your dad brought you to Disneyland?
Is it because life taught you a new game today?
Or because you enjoy some game on your iPod?
Are you happy because you've perfected the taste of your coffee?
Is that grin because of a bet you've won?
So why? Tell me
Is it the fact that there's still fresh air that you're breathing?
Is it because you just finished a novel?
Or because you've composed a song yourself?
Are you glad that you've designed a perfect house for you?
Or because you gave yourself a car?
Are you smiling because of your high grades?
Is it because you made a new friend today?
Do you feel great for having an awesome pet?
Or is it because your family loves you so?
Why are your dimples showing off?
Is it because you feel God's presence?
Or is it because you can now smell justice ahead of you?
Is that what makes you happy?
So what exactly makes you happy?
Who created that rainbow in your eyes?
Are you happy because you feel it?
Or are you just happy because you say so?
McGee was late again
It seemed like his, 'Whole' life
"I promise, to be on time"
He said to his new wife
The city, was so crowded
And at such a hectic pace
He drove around the block
But there was no parking space
So he glimpsed up to the heavens
Begging help, from God on high
And that he'd give up drinking
Go to Mass and never lie
If God would grant a parking space
So he could park his car
McGee would give up all his vice
And be a better man by far
Then , just then, there appeared
An empty parking space
It popped up out of nowhere
Before McGee's own face
McGee glanced at the heavens
And said "Thank You Lord Your Grace
But it's Ok, Forget it
I've just I found me-self a space"
I do not know?
how i norma jay felt about you;thered be no earthly struggles or wars on higher
plains;theyd be nothing but angels galloping in and out of the rain of a cloudy
dispelled sky;if heaven only knew my international poetry ladys name;but they
sang it out loudly and broadcastingly,then they came to shout it out on our
land;just the same was it you! they stated in a live reframe;who is the one norma
jays loves so truley,she has wrote it in her own blood,sweat and her rendered
weeping tear stains;if heaven only knew!how i felt about you;life would'nt be so
tough at writersblock.com now would of it,they the members there should of
rearange her brokened harp toward a different view;mr delrick;hum!
The boss wanted us to sign up for an organ donor card,
It would look good for publicity, Mr. Sanders said,
Next morn, found man in charge, got card - was'nt hard,
But that night, had 2nd thoughts about Godly dead,
After talking to spouse and son-in-law,
If you are called, you should come up, Archie said,
That night, had bad dream about his quick demise,
Driving friend's cab to heaven - foot like lead,
But mad Docs in back, one jerked out liver & eyes,
He too, lost his hands and feet - hey, watch it guys,
After this, had visions of former Earthly domain,
His hands picked pockets, feet ran away from a crime,
He watched his eyes watch porn with a lot of pain,
After this, finally reached heaven - uphill all the way,
Parked, got out - God was there & was real mad that day,
For Arch had not all his organs, which was not Gods' way,
Woke yelling & his spouse put on the light,
You are white as a ghost & sweating - something not right,
Told about his dream, organs, God & mad Doctor men,
You would be scared too, if you had just flunked heaven!