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Funny Halloween Poems | Funny Poems About Halloween

These Funny Halloween poems are examples of Funny poems about Halloween. These are the best examples of Funny Halloween poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

Gigi

Gigi

You question duskiness "Whereas he be?"
Be careful pal; he hides behind the tree!
Inside the sneaky shades he aptly lurks
because you've drunk too many Cuty Sarks.

You, silly chump! You're shaking on your feet;
Contele Dracula* and tough tidbit
exists inside your foolishness' resource
and punishes your wrongs without remorse.

Excess in drinking could be bad for you;
tis not that you'll become a drunk boo-hoo
but he'll metamorphose to baseball bat
and if you drink again, he'll kick your butt.

I know you're stupefied and very scared
cause Gigi hides in pizza boxes where'd
jump up, if thee besotted be and fool,
and then consume your pizza, super-cool.

Admit it, dude! You're shivering in fear!
But if you prayed he would disappear,
expect him to start dancing everywhere-s,
and jingle, so, his spurs upon your stairs.

Ha ha! Hill Billy, you! Outside your house,
behind the pumpkins, sound the irked meows:
bewildered Gigi cats will jump ahead,
inside your car and on your empty head.

You should, thus, paint your house pistachi'o green
cause if you stall before your PC screen
he'll haunt the lines of your poetic calls
and bats will eat your order of spring rolls.

© 10-02-2014, G. Phookan, G. Venetopoulos, All Rights Reserved
(Iambic Pentameter) 
* Contele Dracula = Count Dracula in Romanian




Details | Limerick | |

Tim And His Kelly Green Mustang


I have a friend by the name of Tim, He keeps in shape when frequents the gym. His Kelly green Mustang he drove And smack'd it into a cove. The witches got him and ate one of his limbs! Dorian Petersen aka ladydp2000 copyright@2014 October,5,2014


Details | Rhyme | |

Spoonfang The Pudding Vampire

In the middle of the night,
When the moon shines bright, 
A creature stirs with a terrible bite, 
And his name is Spoonfang.

This vampire with a spoony face,
Has developed quite the taste,
For creatures of the pudding race,
Has the greedy Spoonfang.

So when the stars through dark clouds peek,
Into the kitchen he will creep,
And a tasty snack he’ll sneak,
Will the crafty Spoonfang.

Mousse and trifle, cake of cheese,
Ice-cream left in the deep freeze,
He’s had a bite of each of these,
Has the naughty Spoonfang.

But tonight he’s set his eyes,
Not on mother’s tasty pies,
But on Gran’s birthday surprise,
A gateau all for Spoonfang.

And so he creeps along the floor,
Tip-toes to the kitchen door,
But someone else is there before,
The bold and daring Spoonfang.

Count Spatula! The greatest Pudding Vampire of them all!

Both the vampires get a fright,
Their screams echo through the night,
And someone switches on the light,
On Spatula and Spoonfang.

Mother tuts and shakes her head,
Sends son and father back to bed,
Neither vampire has been fed,
Not Spatula nor Spoonfang.

Maybe there’s a little Pudding vampire in all of us!


Details | Couplet | |

You Say- I Say

You say things that are really mean
I say that I'm still pretty lean
You say I'm fat and that's unfounded
I say I'm not fat, just well rounded
You say my big waist makes me look like a clown
I say that's not my waist, my chest fell down
You say I should be able to touch my toes with ease
I say you're right, if they were on my knees
You say my socks don't match, I should be more discreet
I say it's not my fault, I can't see my feet
You say I'm too heavy for my height, that's what you state
I say you're wrong, I'm just too short for my weight
You say I should weigh one eighty, no more
I say I'm five ten, I should be six four
You say next Halloween I should dress up as a mouse
I say I'll wear a window and go there as a house
You say I should get more exercise and try to shed a pound
I say that when I sit around, I really sit around
You say at the theatre you were embarrassed and didn't know what to do
I say it was because you sat in seat number three while I sat in one and two
You say I thought you were watching your weight
I say I am, I'm watching it inflate
You say being with me doesn't seem the same anymore
I say I'm still the same, just a whole lot more
You say you'd call if I were thinner
I say just don't call me late for dinner
You say we should work out at the gym down the street
I say we should get up and go out to eat.


Please note! A waist is a terrible thing to mind.


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

Gigi

Gigi

You question duskiness "Whereas he be?"
Be careful pal; he hides behind the tree!
Inside the sneaky shades he aptly lurks
because you've drunk too many Cuty Sarks.

You, silly chump! You're shaking on your feet;
Contele Dracula* he is and tough tidbit;
he lives inside your foolishness' resource
and punishes your wrongs without remorse.

Excess in drinking could be bad for you;
tis not that you'll become a drunk boo-hoo
but he'll metamorphose to baseball bat
and if you drink again, he'll kick your butt.

I know you're stupefied and very scared
cause Gigi hides in pizza boxes where'd
jump up, if thee besotted be and fool,
and then consume your pizza, super-cool.

Admit it, dude! You're shivering in fear!
But if you prayed he would disappear,
expect him to start dancing everywhere-s,
and jingle, so, his spurs upon your stairs.

Ha ha! Hill Billy, you! Outside your house,
behind the pumpkins, sound the irked meows:
bewildered Gigi cats will jump ahead,
inside your car and on your empty head.

You should, thus, paint your house pistachi'o green
cause if you stall before your PC screen
he'll haunt the lines of your poetic calls
and bats will eat your order of spring rolls.

© 10-02-2014, G. Phookan, G. Venetopoulos, All Rights Reserved
(Iambic Pentameter) 
* Contele Dracula = Count Dracula in Romanian

Sponsor: Diane Locksley
Contest Name: Halloween Co-Writes


Details | Monorhyme | |

Sexy Nun

Sister, sister sitting there so sweet
Looking so virtuous, acting discreet.
Any male would eagerly bow at your feet
You have no idea of your allure, you're without conceit
Are you offering up a trick or a treat?
Only then will this Halloween finally be complete
Ready your answers to God when you do meet
For nuns of your stature are becoming obsolete!


For my girlfriend who dressed up as a sexy nun.


Details | Limerick | |

Witch Bakery

There once was a witch whose pies
Were unique as to flavor and size.
When she opened her ovens
She delighted her covens,
With dozens of old crusty guys.


Details | Couplet | |

Thief in the Night

I bought all the candy for Halloween night, 
Into the cupboard, it sat in plain sight

When later I looked, I just about flipped!
I saw empty wrappings, the bags were all ripped!

The treats were all missing,...so back to the store
I bought several bags, at least three or four.

Now back in my kitchen, I climbed on a chair
To hide them up high on a shelf that was bare...

Behind an old crock pot that he'd never use...
But would you believe, he discovered my ruse?!!!

The big night arrived and much to my grief
The candy had been eaten by that darn sweet toothed thief!!!!

The door bell was ringing, trick-or-treaters had come
I ducked out the back door, and fast did I run!!

Right back to the store, I flew like a witch...
The clerks heard me cursing, like a grouchy old b - - - -!

The store had no candy, sold out every piece
No Big Hunks, no Snickers, no Hersheys or Reese

I bought bags of apples.... gave them out in disgrace
Every kid on the block had disgust on his face

The next Halloween, I'm not buying ahead
I'm a last minute shopper for the candy, instead..

And to all you folks, who buy treats in advance
My advice to you all, is don't take such a chance!
Something else you should learn, from this frustrating tale...,
Next time you buy candy, attach some loud bells!!

------------    P.S.... (A Moral to the story, for an evening so gory).... 

                   He was licking his chops, while he had his sweet binge
                   But goblins were watching, ........and took their revenge....
                   That Halloween scrooge...Mr. Thief in the Night
                   He chipped his back molar, as he took that last bite!!





------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted for "Funny Spooks" contest
Sponsored by Carol Brown


Details | Rhyme | |

THE POT FARMER


I got out my pipe and stuffed it with pot, 
You better believe, it held a whole lot.
I whipped out a lighter and thumbed up a flame,
Then sucked down that smoke which comforts my brain.

I tried alcohol; and smoked cigarettes,
Though, they did nothing, but give me regrets.
My mom had arthritis and couldn't walk around. 
When I rolled her a joint, she danced on the ground.

I thought I was losing my lovemaking knack, 
But, after I smoked some, to me it came back.
Soon I decided prices were too high,
So I searched for some ground I wouldn't have to buy.

I bargained for seeds from smokers all around, 
Then, got in my truck and drove out of town.
I walked through the woods where the wild birds nest, 
And found me the meadow I thought was the best.

I dug up the ground and sowed all my seeds;
Then said a small prayer for strong, healthy weeds.
I watered at night with a five-gallon pail;
The mosquitoes went hungry for I wore a veil.

Eight months went by; I thought I would die, 
'Till the Halloween moon was high in the sky. 
One night I went out, in my camouflage suit, 
And used a corn knife to chop down the loot.

I hung it up to dry where it couldn't be found.
Then came back and got it, when it had turned brown. 
I trimmed off the buds, and stuffed them in bags,
Called all my friends and passed out free drags.

In less then a week, my crop was gone!
But, I flew to St. Thomas with love-hungry blond.

 


Details | Light Poetry | |

Footle - Midnight At The Monsters Ball

Big bash

they mash



Happy Halloween everyone!


Details | Free verse | |

A Real Ghost


                                  I'm not exactly very big
                                The little man in my family
                             This summer I will be 197 years
                             I have a sister who is 199 years
                                She is a bit sour and grumpy
                          My mother is of course the world's best
                          she is 248 years and still likes to dance
                    The boss of the house .... my father at 252 years
                             is an expert on telling ghost stories
                      We have celebrated many birthdays, Christmas,
                          Easter, weddings and summer holidays
                        There is one day a year that we like most
                        and then it becomes real party: Halloween
                        Do not be frightened if I come to your door
                           it's only once a year we get ..... Candy
                                          Trick or treat





17.10.2012
A-L Andresen :)


Details | Haiku | |

Fright Night

<                                       the ... be ~witch ~ing ~ hour
                                         ghost ~ and ~ gobblings ~ lurking .... for
                                         it's  ~  candies .......  bounty


                                        amidst ~ swollen ...... moon
                                        face ~ of ~ wicked ~ witch .....  smiling 
                                        bats ~ fly ~ in ....... frenzy


                                        
                                       great ~ jack - o - lantern
                                       menacing ~ halloween ~ glow
                                       on ~ darken ......... doorsteps




For Linda Marie's
Halloween Haiku
G.L. All


Details | Rhyme | |

Dr Suess' Shoe Store



LISTEN, LISTEN! I have BIG NEWS
Dr Suess has a store just full of SHOES..
A GAZILLION shoes I'm sure there must be
Line them all up, bet they'd stretch to the sea!

Small shoes and tall shoes and some with spots
He even has one covered with pink polka dots.. 
                                                ...... Lots of Dots....
Round shoes and square shoes and OH MY
Even lots of cool shoes you don't have to tie

A snake came in cause he was going to school
And wearing shoes at school is a VERY strict rule..
Now where could a snake wear a shoe you ask?
Well he wore the darn thing like a Halloween mask..

You can buy just one pair if your feeling thrifty
But poor old centipede -  he had to buy fifty
He first bought 25 pair that were bright yellow
Then 25 orange,now he's quite a colorful fellow

A kangaroo complained that his feet were sore
So extremely sore he could barely hop any more
We fixed him up with a spring loaded pair
Now he can happily hop from here to there

So if a GRANDUFULOUS sight your longing to see
 Dr Sues is waiting  at the corner of 7th and G
With shoes for the young and shoes for the old
HURRY, HURRY, before the purple ones are sold..
                                                              ...OH NO!..


Details | Limerick | |

Strumpet Meets Star Wars

For trick or treating Stella the strumpet

Got dressed up as a butterscotch crumpet

     Caught his eye – Jabba the Hutt

     He had hunger pangs in his gut

No more strumpet; Hutt plays "Taps" on trumpet


*For John Freeman's Halloween Limericks Contest. ©

If you haven't seen Star Wars, you can see an image of Jabba the Hutt at:

http://www.google.com/imgres?
imgurl=http://almostdorothy.files.wordpress.com/2010/02/jabba-the-hut-1-
749957.jpg&imgrefurl=http://almostdorothy.wordpress.com/2010/02/16/kristine-
snodgrass-an-interview-with-a-fledgling-
starlet/&h=425&w=351&sz=44&tbnid=ydiaMK997cAQVM:&tbnh=126&tbnw=104&prev
=/images%3Fq%3Djabba%2Bthe%
2Bhut&zoom=1&q=jabba+the+hut&hl=en&usg=__vXVHk5so6VdAvMm6AFFu5s1vark=
&sa=X&ei=ssnJTL2DEIGC8gamr-jsAQ&sqi=2&ved=0CCYQ9QEwAQ


Details | Free verse | |

THE WITCHES' BALLET

In late October the reddest moon didn't change its phase,
it remained in the same spot to watch the witches' ballet;
the loud music matched the mood of the mystical night: tambourines
and flutes frantically played; sneers, jeers, giggles of the ugliest witches
mixed with the goblins' roars while they danced around a huge, hot fire.


I smelled a foul odor, the wild dogs feasted on a bloody oar,
" Leave some for us, or we'll turn you into bats! "
the hunched witch snarled with menacing eyes,
but they roared and threatened her with sharp teeth,
then Olga began to speak Latin words to cast  
a spell on them and before it worked, they fled.


Glad that they had left, she dragged the dead animal
and hung it on a long rod to roast on the sparking fire;
hungry witches continued to dance with forks and knives 
in their hands, anxiously waiting for their Halloween treat.  



Written by Andrew Crisci
for Russel Sivey's contest,
" The Ultimate Halloween Contest "
10/5/ 2012


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

A JOKER's- rebirth

      THE JOKER

Come at me Joker you will.
Got your eyes following me like steel.
A piece of me do you need.
Hell, take a few limbs off my tree.

Why did you leave that note on my wall??
Now I fear this echo-y call!
You left (ME) P.D. afraid of the dark.
"LOOK AT ME!"
I'm hiding under my covers, trembling at your weak bark.
I'm so scared,
I'm sleeping with one eye open~
"LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME!"
I even sleep with the lights on. 

sigh!" Sigh!" SIGH!"

I Can't let this go on.

A break in the wind,
Did you follow me again??
I hear this tune playing in my head.
LAUGHING and LAUGHING!
I panic with so many tears to shed!
Like a little girl, my hair I twirl.
Why is it me you dread??
This TUNE is making me shiver and quiver like a kid. 
Your watching me slither back into bed.
This LAUGHING! 
This TUNE I fear!
The noise is growing NEAR.
NEARER and NEARER!
My face is turning white like the dead.
I keep pressing my hands against my ears.
This tune starts to thicken the flow in my veins.
"FINALLY!"
You drive me INSANE.

I get the nerve to look under my bed.
What the FUDGE, is this doing under my bed??
Is this a jack in the box??
Joker are you FREAKING with my head??

A joke a laugh this DESTROYER has lied.
You don't got what it takes to make me hide.

Your trap fell into the pit of my abyss.
I've been waiting for you behind close doors.
We both hide behind a mask.
Your head falls upon my checkered board floor.

I am still P.D., and your masquerade  is over my friend.
I've come to destroy the joke you left on my end.

A trick--A riddle--A joke--A game--
Lets call it your death sentence.
I already tagged your stone with my name.
The POET DESTROYER was here : )
And left her name on your headstone of shame.

**the JOKER - re-post**

from: the POET DESTROYER
to: the JOKER  *from the poetry pub*



Details | Couplet | |

ANGELIC HALLOWEEN

    Halloween was coming and the angels thought they'd have some fun,
    Since they sometimes thought of dressing up before the Holy One.

    They all got together and decided to do just that,
    Dress up in devilish costumes...Surprise the Lord like some earthly college frat.

    Each one was to make his costume from the ethereal
    A very inexpensive and unusual type of material.

    Then, when the Lord was looking down at earth
    Don the costumes for some Heavenly mirth.
    
    It'll be a costume party for us here in our Heavenly abode
    Different from always wearing these white sophisticated robes.

    We'll have a good laugh and God will understand
    We're just having a laugh here in His Heavenly plan.
    
    The moment came, all the costumes had been made
    And when the Lord looked up, Heaven was a different shade.

    "Something is amiss, here." , He said in the shades of that red hue
     Perhaps I'll  bring Satan here, to find out if this is something new.

     It would be difficult to invite that guest into heaven you see
     As he had been banished for all the eons of centuries.

     But nothing is impossible for the Lord for He can do any feat
     And just when he was to summon Satan, the Angels all shouted

      "Trick or Treat"!


Details | Rhyme | |

Hah Ha Hah Holloween Night

Fingers,the bones,
     Force through a casket,
A body appears,
     Or should I say,what's left,
Groans and moans,
      Earth bursting all around,
Covering my ears,
      Shutting out this horrible sound,
Countless dead,
      Raising from the ground,
In your chest,
      Twice as fast your heart pound,
Searching for the living,
       This Halloween night,
Better not be caught,
        It won't be a wonderful sight....

Creepy,scary,laugh,hah,ha,hah...


Details | Limerick | |

Call Me Cousin

I'm short and most costumes don't fit
Halloween found me in a snit
     But I have my answer now
     I just comb my long hair down
Add glasses and I'm Cousin It



Written for the Halloween Costume contest


Details | Couplet | |

Halloween hand me downs

I was the youngest kid of eight
Halloween was never that great
Orange clown shoes were too big
An old purple horrendous witch's wig

My sisters tutu I that wouldn't use
My brothers cape smelled of doo doo
Superman pants that didn't latch
And that makeup covered eye patch

That Halloween I knocked on this door
The lady was laughing and kicked the floor
Her husband then came around to peek
Then laugh so hard his knees got weak

She said "Oh honey, let's give him the lot"
He agreed, only if I posed for a snapshot
She said "you stay right there, don't move"
I took off so fast, I lost my clown shoes


Details | Rondeau | |

The Ex-Halloweener's New Disguise

It’s Halloween. . . Come rain or sleet, I’m sure to hear small goblin feet come clamoring up each porch stair that leads them to my door, and there they’ll hold up bags, call, “Trick or Treat!” I used to find this night so sweet. But what a nuisance now to greet those kids and have to leave my lair! It’s Halloween. When young, I’d stay out, wild and fleet And smartly dressed, skip down each street. But now, since I can hardly wear cute little costumes. . . . it’s a BEAR those kids who climb my steps will meet! It’s Halloween! By Andrea Dietrich - 9/22/2012 For The Ultimate Halloween Contest Poetry Contest of Russell Sivey


Details | Haiku | |

Halloween haiku

on halloween eve
apple bobbing with grandma......
false teeth on apple

smiling carved pumpkin
advertisement of toothpaste......
grandma's false teeth


Details | Rhyme | |

I wish I had headlice

I wish I had headlice, so I'd get out of work for a day.
I wish I had headlice, to play hookey, I say
I wish I had headlice, I could trick-or-treat alone
I wish I had headlice, I'd get more loot per home!!
I wish I had headlice, I'd get the block to myself
I wish I had headlice, My candy, My wealth!!
I wish I had headlice, my candy stash would be SOOO BIG!!
But mostly, quite honestly, I wish I had headlice,
'Cause some jerk stole my EFFING WIG!!!!

(TRUE STORY!!)


*for the "Show me the Funny" contest!*


Details | Limerick | |

Where There's A Witch--There's A Way

I know of a witch, with a wart on her nose Day after day, we can watch how it grows! It is thought of by some That it might weigh a ton!! How big could it get?? ...Well, nobody knows!! It itched, she scratched, then rubbed it with lotion Then guzzled two portions of wicked witch potion She chanted a curse Which made it much worse!! Her nose is so huge...it drips like an ocean! Halloween came, so she saddled her broom Climbed on the broom, but her take-off was doomed... The wart was too heavy!! So she got in her Chevy! She zooms through our town, with exhaust fumes in bloom!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Details | Tanka | |

My Boo

<                          halloween haunting's
                       black shoe polish foundation
                             ruby red lipstick
                       pillow stuffed under big dress
                        red white bandana for hair

                               spatula in hand 
                       eggbeater in dress pocket
                              pillowcase for loot
                       daddy's boots causing blisters 
                          aunt jemima memories 




Entry For
Paula Sweanson's
Halloween Of Tears Past
GL AL


Tribute To Childhood Memories


Details | Couplet | |

Fastest Gun In The West

<                                      Now hold on there Tex !
                                        Let me get     dressed  !


                                        Let me saddle up my horse
                                        To trollop around this Halloween course


                                        Got on my chaps
                                        My spurs and cowboy hat


                                       Replica's of forty five's
                                       Riding on my hips very high


                                       With lasso in my hand
                                       This little cowboy has a plan
                                       

                                  
                                      So all you ghost and goblins
                                      It's candies bounty I'll be coming an robbing

                              
                                      And I'll be taking  loot for mummy
                                      And for my daddy who has a bigger tummy










                                                  Happy Halloween To All
                                   Especially little tikes who are so cute and small





Entry For 
Skat's 
Halloween Costume Contest
G.L. All
                                      

 
                                      
                                       


                                     

                                     
                                       


Details | Couplet | |

Yard Sale Syndrome

No time for coffee, as the dawn arrives....
I raised the shade. There's a crowd outside!
Hubby in his underwear, and gives them a surprise!
It's our first yard sale!!!  But, will we survive???
The mob takes over...I'm still in my slippers
But already sold some old hedge clippers!!

     Those folks just paid me a ton of money!!
     I could use some help..........Hey! Where's my honey??
     I swear...if he went back to take a nap
     I'll sell his priceless baseball cap!!
     Oh! They are looking at that wobbly table....
     "I'll help you load it,  Miss, if I'm able!"

          She grabs dog-eared, dusty, vintage books
          And one old crock-pot that still cooks!
          I show her some doilies, and a ragged Barbie
          And a costume for her Halloween parties?
          A rusty shovel, and a dented bucket
          And a fishing pole from old Nantucket

               I'm selling Ma's old apron, and some broken dishes
               A chipped glass bowl for all her fishes
               Aunt Edna's ugly painting, and her candle holders
               She lives down the street....hope no one told her!!! 
               One old bike for exercising
               Doesn't work....it's not surprising!



"What's the point?" our husbands mutter
While we fill the garage with all this clutter
I explain to him..."She buys mine, and I buy hers"
"Then, we won't need to shop the stores!!"
"Dear...don't you know the grass is greener?"
"OH LOOK!"  "That couple bought my vacuum cleaner!"

     Just then I point across the street!!
     Another yard sale.....and we both shriek!!
     He points at me and shakes his fist
     But I'll just ignore and toss a kiss
     And side by side I'm in a race...
     Who gets there first will buy that vase!!
     Whoopee!!!  I spy a broken chair...
     That other shopper gives a glare!
     So what it's broken?  Well, I can glue it!
     Just hope she doesn't beat me to it!


The point I'm making is simply this
This neighbor's junk became my bliss!
_______________________________________

For Skat's Yard Sale Contest:


Details | Limerick | |

Halloween Treats

The highlight of the year for dear old Dad

     Was Halloween when treats were to be had

          His modus operandi

               Son you collect the candy

                    Snickers for me - licorice for you lad

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Haiku | |

The Secret Witch

Don’t try to come out 
of the magic broom closet 
on Halloween Night.


Details | Limerick | |

Bad Ghoulish Goblin

There once was a bad ghoulish goblin.
Thump, thump on a crutch he was hobblin’.
It was Halloween night.
He dared to give a fright.
But he fell to the ground; he was wobblin’.

© November 4, 2010
Dane Smith-Johnsen


Details | Sonnet | |

LOST KEYS! The Devil Made Me Do It !!

I was twelve years old, it was one Halloween night
My brother was driving me in his old beat up car
He had been told to take care, and keep me in sight
He sighed, threw up his hands, and gave me "that" glare!

We drove awhile...it was cold, spooky and dark
Instead of trick or treating, we continued our ride
In front of his best friend's house, he quickly parked
Told me to stay put in the car...then went on inside

I sat a bit afraid...then out of the dark, the devil said Boo to me!!!
Looked into the window!! ..I screamed, grabbed the keys...threw a fit, locked the doors
The devil was my brother.......all dressed up...he had tiptoed through trees!
His friend was laughing hysterically.....they thought they had scored!!

What they didn't know.... when I had taken the keys
I'd tossed them out of the window and into the leaves!!

...................................................................................................................................


(A true story!!
ps...After an hour or so, on hands and knees looking for the keys
we found them finally.................and yes!! He finally took me trick-or-treating!
We are still laughing over this story, many years later!
Actually, he is was and is a terrific brother, by the way, 
but still throws up his hands occasionally 
and gives me "that" glare..Lol!!)


Details | Limerick | |

Halloween Curmudgeon!

I have no beef with Halloween per se

     Tho' 'tis like a vast guv-mint giveaway

          'Tis a scheme to spread the wealth

               As kids shake me down with stealth

                    I aim to keep socialism at bay

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No. 4 in John Freeman's "Halloween Limerick" Contest - November 2010


Details | Rhyme royal | |

HALLOWEEN NIGHT

Let me chase that naughty witch
on the flying, wooden broom...
causing havoc and gloom,
that's why she's super rich
robbing any unlit house watched by a raccoon
and laughing she bypasses the orange moon.


Ugly and treacherous witch, you won't admit
that you steal candies from children's bags without a rip,  
but proof is on your rotten teeth yellowed by sweets...
doesn't their cry move you enough to return their treats?


  
Why would a witch on a flying, wooden broom
steal and hide goodies in the darkest castle room,  
where the empty caskets of vampires lay? 
Have you seen the blood stains earlier in the day?



Fly over pumpkin-lit graveyards while Death looks for skeletons 
to hang on trees to celebrate the eerie Halloween night...   
keep away from such an horrifying place infested with bats;
fly faster, fly higher before darkness becomes light!
 



Written on 9/11/ 2012


















Details | Rhyme | |

Halloween 2011

'Tis Halloween again, the economy is bad and lots of folks are outta work!
I'm gonna reverse this trick or treat racket, tho' some may think me quite a jerk!
Normally, hordes of kids come bangin' on my door pleadin', "Fill my tote!"
But this year I'm gonna dress like a bum and from behind my mask I'll gloat!

I'll tote a huge burlap bag and park my Cadillac so as to be discreet,
And march down every street in this fair city pleadin' fer things to eat!
I hope they'll pity this poor old tramp when I make my earnest plea,
And that they'll be more than generous and not call the law on me!

My spiel will go somethin' like this: "Won't you help a destitute family,
That is goin' through hard times facin' problems we could not foresee?
All I'm askin' of you is a few taters, maybe a can of corn or peas.
Anything would be appreciated and may God bless you if He please!"

After I make the rounds and arrive home to sort through my ill-gotten loot,
Of soups, ramen noodles, crackers, lima beans and assorted fruit,
I'll put it all back in the burlap bag and deliver it to a needy charity,
Than I'll scurry home to hand out treats to the little imps who call on me!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Tied for No. l in Russell Sivey's "Halloween Fun" Contest - October 2011


Details | Limerick | |

Halloween

It's about that time for Halloween
Look at all the witches so scary and green
I'm getting ready to scare the pants off the kids
Have fun enjoy doing it I always did
It's halloween I'm not being mean


Details | Rhyme | |

The White Pumpkin




Thank you, Ma’am, for the pumpkin.
I am not distressed in the least.
Though it’s not of my preference,
It’ll suffice for a Halloween feast.

Mother Nature could have mixed up her seeds.
That could explain why the color is bland.
One might think Jack Frost didn’t finish his work,
Or, Autumn is making a political stand.

I am so glad you came with this pumpkin.
Come on in Ma’am, and stay for awhile.
No, I don’t mind it isn’t bright orange,
Though it isn’t the most popular style.

Please, have a seat as good company should,
And quit the uncertainties filling your mind.
Don’t doubt my plan for sweet pumpkin pie,
As giving me this ugly, white pumpkin was kind.





Details | Limerick | |

Stephen King's Best

It's Halloween night, what's on T.V.?
Gory reruns is all that there be.
All of Stephen King's best
Being put to the test,
Vampires, Plymouths and Cujo I see.

An angry little girl starting fires
And Salem's Lot is full of vampires.
There's a self-mending car,
Aliens from afar,
Just feeding all our horror desires.

Stephen King is the master of shock.
To his movies the horror buffs flock.
When the King is around
Movie chills can be found.
Horror movies, they just make us gawk.




for John Freeman's Halloween limerick contest


Details | Rhyme | |

Halloween

The candle’s flickering orange light Loaned tension to the night, And from shadows cold and dark, gave purchase to the sight. A Spectre’s hand in vapour white, then pointed at each soul, an icy blast then dimmed the fire, And quenched the smouldering coal These whispered words in rasping voice, then echoed in the room ‘Each Halloween the hand of fate Appoints one to his doom.’ Panic played though terror stayed, all fleeing from the room, their frightened eyes stared spellbound, as the hand moved through the gloom. A sudden bolt of arcing light Then stole their panic’d breath As Mother said ‘take off that glove, You’ve scared the kids to death.’


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Thoughts from the Mind of a Blogger


It was a chilly morning in paradise...

Autumn was already here...

A time for strange things to happen, as it is that time of year...

She was up most of the night, doing a write....

Regarding some hubs and her series titled "Legend of Fred "

Ahh the questions she had... rolling around in her head..

Were “where were her readers, her followers “ her Hubbers...?

They had all seemed to like what she wrote in the past..

But lately her hubs were falling so fast....

She had written articles on health and life..

perhaps she had targeted too much strife...

Maybe they wanted to read about food..

But when you're not a cook, that would be kinda rude..

Oh, will wonders never cease ?

So she decided she'd get some zzzzz's

She lay in her bed, not moving at all...

but breathing quite deeply, as I saw the covers fall...

So I stretched my muscles and walked ever so slow..

So as not to wake her , then I spied her big toe..

Sticking out from the blanket..it was such a temptation..

And with me having such a" foot fixation".. however...

She needed the rest , so she can finish her quest..

I have some thoughts of my own...

that I would like to share in a poem..

And I would be happy to help her.. but..

I don’t think the world is ready for me...

as I am a BLOGGING CAT.. you see

So I will close for now...everyone have a great week...as

I'm off to seek something that has a tweak and a squeak..


Details | Free verse | |

Confessions of a Vampire

.........
Hey Mr. Bartender, give me a shot
Don’t care what it is, but give me a lot!!
I don’t even like it, and I’ve never been drunk
Folks have thunk me a temperate
    …. but this day really stunk!
So give me the bottle, I can pour out my own
I may as well drown in the root of my problems
Then, call me a taxi, to help me get home!!

Ya see…it began in this innocent way,
I was just getting ready for Halloween Day!
Looking forward to dressing, and ready to play 
on the way to a party, I was a little bit tardy
I was dressed as a vampire, that was a little bit ....mm, "tarty"!!! 

On this Halloween eve, I resolved to be cheerful
But while driving my car, another car bumped me
The driver got out, and he gave me an ear full!
It took but a moment, and I knew he was beer filled!
Disgusted and angry, I found myself grumpy
I called the police, and they came to the crash
So I cheered up, and resolved, and expressed my relief
So happy, I hugged them and offered a kiss

They thought I would bite, 
They put up a fight......and handcuffed me tight!
 
Well they thought ME imbibed!!!
So they took me inside
And into a jail cell...I was thrown like a flash
My mood isn't good...I'm as mad as a hen!!
My thoughts of abstaining had grown very thin!! 
So might as well swallow this bottle of gin!!

How can this girl be happy,
When justice kidnaps me?
No blood did I drink, as I sit in the brink
But could use me some gin
As I sit in the pen !!

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

For Just An Archaic Poet's Contest: Poems from a Vampire
By Carrie Richards



Details | Limerick | |

Halloween Limerick

There once was a Halloween party
All of the costumes there were naughty
I tried to be cute
Wearing my birthday suit
And won the prize for costume most gaudy


Details | Haiku | |

Last Minute Halloween Costume

Last Minute Halloween Costume
Toilet paper wraps;
Costs less to dress as mummy,
Mom thinks it’s funny!


Details | Rhyme | |

I Got A Rock

On Halloween I always get a rock everywhere I go.
I decided to retaliate by throwing their rocks through their windows.
I never even get one piece of candy, that really blows.
I'm so ignorant that I cut my costume full of holes.
I look absolutely ridiculous and dorky in this stinking sheet, I don't even look like a ghost.
I'm paying people back for their unkindness, especially Lucy because she deserves it the most.
Last week Lucy told me to kick the football but I kicked her in the head.
She told her father and he started choking me, I thought I was dead.
When he got through strangling me, I dropped two Cherry Bombs down his pants.
I blew off his privates and now when he wants to give his wife some loving, he can't.
When people used to do mean things to me, they would laugh.
But now they treat me with respect to avoid my terrible wrath.

(This poem is a parody of the Peanuts Comic Strip.)


Details | I do not know? | |

TONIGHT IS HALLOWEEN

Tonight is Halloween

tonights the night when boys and girls
don disguises and see the world
around every corner there are monsters seen
because tonight is Halloween

tonights the night when the ghouls all play
they walk around on this special day
a werewolf howls at the moon
a zombie comes to seal your doom

with few clouds the skies are clear
the pumpkins' smile more like a sneer
a mummy makes sure his wrap his clean
because tonight is Halloween

ghosts go out on the haunt
witches do whatever they want
making little children scream
is what those creepy goblins dream

tonights the night when your fears come alive
they own the earth from nine to five
the night is when they feel their best 
the days when they go get their rest

but when the rooster starts to crow
the ghouls know that its time to go
for the daylight is what they most fear
but remember they'll be back next year.


Tonight Is Halloween
October 18th 2013


Details | Cinquain | |

Na Na Na Na Na Na Batman { Cinquain }

                                                     Batman
                                              Cape crusader
                                         Batcave Batmobile Pole
                                  Zapping Banging Powing Action
                                                 BruceWayne











Happy Halloween All
Boooooooo       LOL




         Tribute To
Batman And  Robin
  Adam West  Burt Ward


Details | Rhyme | |

Spooks And Sech Like

In the backwoods of Tenn-O-See eerie things is seen on Halloween night!
Stroll with me down a country lane - you'll see things that'll give ya' a fright!
I s'pose ya' could set by the far and read of sech frum an old-timer's lore,
But come 'long, boys and girls, if ya' dare and see them scary things galore!

A headless hossman races by yellin', "I've lost my head, confound it!"
Its disembodied voice keeps repeatin', "I'll have no peace 'til I've found it!"
From a leafless oak a body swings in the wind danglin' frum a double noose!
'Tis said an impromptu posse hung 'im fer filchin' hosses on the loose!

That old house is said to be haunted and mysterious lights is seen inside!
The story goes that hosts of fiendish ghosts and witches therein reside!
Passin' the old cemetery, I'm sure y'all will want to increase yer stride!
Leerin' ghosts and skeletons lurk there and they'll skeer ya' outta yer hide!

A spectral platoon of sojers is seen marchin' 'long that haunted stretch of lane.
A sergeant counts cadence and moans is heard from them that's sufferin' pain!
Spooky lights is seen waftin' to and fro and seem to be headin' our way!
Are they restless spirits with evil intent er lost souls that have gone astray?

A sobbin' wraith with glowin' eyes is seen floatin' jes' beyond the ridge.
With a piercin' scream she waves at us and leaps frum a nearby bridge!
So, my children, if its thrills y'all is lookin' fer and a real Halloween scare,
Come, take a midnight stroll with me 'long that fearsome lane, if you dare!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No. 1 in PD's "Any Poem You Posted This Week" Contest - Nov 2011


Details | Limerick | |

Reformed Witch

Full moon listed, one Halloween night
A witch flared radioactive flight
Across the bow, around,
With such a swooshing sound,
Only a few saw this awesome sight.

She was adorned in black lacquered dress.
Her flight was erratic, under duress.
Plunging fast to the ground,
A whirlwind dive, no sound,
Upon impact, there was such a mess.

From the rubble there raised, a new form.
However, looked not much of the norm,
She stood, trying to sum.
Then spoke, watch out for rum.
Moreover, she needs to reform.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Ha Ha Halloween

The Trolls were out Halloween night; it’s their favorite time of the year.
The baby one had a Tutu on, and a great big smile, from ear to ear.
Grandpa Troll came along, and led his band down the streets, that night.
The neighbors were happy to see them there, to protect us all from pranks.

Needless to say, the town had a prize for the best costumes of the year.
The winners got goodies, at the ice cream store, who could ask for more?
Well, most of the town didn’t know, that our Trolls… were really real.
You can bet, the secret got out, after they won the costume show, this year.

As you can surmise, the ice cream prize… became the undoing of the Trolls.
After one little bite… they all dropped like flies, as a brain freeze did unfold.
You can bet, as the Trolls lay there, I’d never seen more beautiful grins.
Nirvana in life is hard to find… You can bet, they’d found theirs, my friend.

Candy is great; I heard them all say… with their bags full to the brim.
But ice cream, you see… was the coup complete… it must be a sin!
Now ice cream has become the hit of the town… along with watching a Troll.
It’s so tres Troll, and fascinating, you know… to watch the brain freeze…
Lay them flat on their back, again!


CSEastman 9-16-2012
Contest: Ultimate Halloween Contest


Details | Narrative | |

What's Fair

Who decides what's fair?
I dunno - but I can sure
Tell you what's 
NOT FAIR:

Putting out costumed morsels
On Halloween night
And having their parents or other large beasts accompany them
Some of the large ones carry mace
The worst ones
Carry wooden stakes
or CROSSES

Tasty-looking tots go from door to door
Trusting in the kindness of strangers
Who will give them candy
And toys

But not ONE will come
Into my parlor
Willingly or not

I've had a few tugs of war
Over several treats
Who tend to scream
And somebody big always
Comes to their rescue

Then they go away
WIth all their TREATS

Whilst I remain here
Alone
And HUNGRY

Now THAT'S not fair!









Details | Light Poetry | |

Lilly and FunkunDilly

Our little Orphan Troll, named Lilly, and was always happy as a lark.
She had a squirrel named FunkunDilly always ready, with fun to embark.
They slept and ate together, and rolled around, playing on the ground.
A happier troll you never could see, as when FukunDilly was around.

I made them matching ninja suits, to practice ninja moves in the park.
And the firemen let them sit up front in the fire truck to blow his horn.
Everything was so very perfect, until all the birthdays came around.
As we discussed the birthdays', Lilly ran to the corner to cry, for real!

Lilly didn’t know when her birthday was, and just knew she’d be left out.
So as I ran to poor, little Lilly, I ask FunkinDilly if she knew the date, about.
She has never spoken, but the little squirrel had come with Lilly, you see… 
Around here, you never know, crazier things seem to happen, a lot lately.

None of Trolls knew their birthdays, and all ended up sulking on the ground.
I let them each pick a day, and they picked Halloween all at once, all around.
They invited all their friends for… after Trick or Treating on Halloween night.
I rounded up tons of cupcakes, and the biggest cake ever seen, to their delight.

That night witches, elves, and fairies showed up, with even a unicorn.
The weird frogs came with the bears... and all, held sparklers up in the air.
It was fun to see the costumes, or at least I hoped, that’s what they were.
Everyone danced around a bonfire… as the firemen laughed, and looked on.

I was talking to one of my neighbors dressed as a witch, when Lilly danced by.
I laughed about how happy Lilly and FunkenDilly were when playing, all the time…
And I wished her mother could see the gleam of fun, which shone in her eyes.
Suddenly, a flash of light! FunkenDilly turned into a Troll, right before my eyes.

The witch was apologetic… for forgetting to turn Lilly’s mom back, for so long.
She had found her raiding her garden, and punished her… about a year, before.
Now, FunkenDilly had had so much fun… that she wanted to be turned right back.
The toll for forgetting …was that she gave them both butterfly wings for the night.

She may not be a Troll, but, I never worry about Lilly when FunkenDilly’s along.
And the witch promised FunkunDilly, she could be a squirrel, for one more year. 
But about that neighbor witch… Whoa Boy! I’ll be WAY nicer from now on, ya hear!
Now, I really can’t wait to make more matching outfits, for Lilly and her mom.


Details | Rhyme | |

Twick Or Tweat

How I look forward to October the thirty-first each year!
Though the autumn be chilly and the weather a bit drear,
I have the pleasure of meeting strange little imps by the score,
As they visit, lisping "twick or tweat" at my front door!

The door bell rings constantly it seems as I leap to me feet,
Wondering about the wierd characters that I shall meet!
Will it be a devil or an angel or a frightful ghost?
Whoever it might be, I must be a generous host!

Hordes of fairies, cowboys and Indians grace my stoop,
Along with sheriffs, desperados and soldiers by the troop!
Ferocious pirates, scary skeletons and dreadful witches,
Leer and grin at me, nearly scaring me out of my britches!

Standing regally is a king and queen, each wearing a crown,
Along with their court jester, a gaudily bedecked clown!
There's a sweet little princess decked out in ribbons and lace,
Smiling demurely with cute dimples on her pretty face!

A little secret with which those little monsters I will never share,
But I'll clue you in on my own little Halloween trick if I dare -
I dole out bubblegum, candy corn and stuff I don't care for much,
But keep the Snickers bars, Babe Ruths, Hershey Kisses and such!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved


Details | Limerick | |

Old Edgar A Poe My Kin

Since I'm kin to Edgar Allen Poe
I like for Halloween to cause much woe.
     Out in the streets they're dressed up.
     And with all their crimes they corrupt.
The more the merrier, I say let them go!

I swing my pendulum everyday.
Those who are wise better get out of my way.
     Consider the dead
     Even some in their bed.
Needs to get out on this day and play!

In the graveyard the zombies are restless.
In the cave tops the bats wings getting stressless.
     They're ready to play
     On this Halloween day.
When they finish tonight they'll be guestless!!!!!


Details | Limerick | |

Bloody Mary

A young dead woman named Bloody Mary
for Halloween dressed as the good fairy.
At the mirror she beamed.
No one let out a scream.
BUT many still had dysentery!


Details | Light Poetry | |

The Flying Saucer Abduction

It was a dark and moonless night. The lights were out. The TV low.
My hubby and I were relaxed, cuddled close, as the TV set the room aglow.
The telly had a “Flying Saucer Abduction”, with popcorn, we watched the scene unfold.  
Suddenly the dogs perked up, began to bark, then ran in circles to and fro.  
Confusion, and worries abounded, as we quieted them with a gentle no. 
Then checking the door, we listened to see what would make them act just so.
Slowly, from out of nowhere, we heard a hum, building louder and wildly free. 
A fluid vibration was moving around us and through the house, gaining on its spree.
Then as it began to travel thru both of us, a growing Fear came to be…
As it gripped us in the palm of its hand, I feared, surely… it was beckoning me!
We began to wonder what it could be: a transformer, the furnace, or an alien? Could be… 
What on earth could be so strong, to cause the humming to hang in the air so free? 
It seemed to be controlled by a mysterious hand, and this we were going to see.
Fear ran free, and we made the decree… to find it quickly… or quickly flee.
Was the furnace ready to explode? From the basement and hubby came the word, no!
We both ran outside in force. But the humming disappeared out there, of course. So…
We ran from the dark outside, to hear it again, clearly, where we abide within, it built.
Into the kitchen I quickly ran… But everything was quiet and still… again!
I ran the stairs toward to where my kids did abide, with my heart worried and chilled.
I determined to follow the hum to its end and save my children, that… I would fulfill.
What would we find? We didn’t know, or really want to know, ere our fear could unfold.
The kids were up stairs oblivious to this, as we ran from room to room, nothing to behold.
In my son’s room at the end of the hall, the noise became unbearably loud, as it flowed.
We searched every corner not sure what we’d find, electrical, mechanical, ready to blow? 
His game and earplugs kept him oblivious and out of the know… 
So we figured he wasn’t the culprit…for once purer than the driven snow.
The humming was growing louder with time… it seemed the roof was the end of the line.
But now our imaginations were in full bloom… A transformer, or alien? We were running out of time!
But somehow that didn’t seem right… we did know… so perhaps soon a fire to fight?
We were now determined… to evacuate everyone to safety, into the night…
Suddenly, we found the Nemesis laying in wait. It was in the bathroom singing to us.
And no, truly I’m not making this up. The bathroom was making us run amuck.
Dripping water was vibrating the pipes. The sound was traveling a resonance throughout the house. Yes… by plumbing… we’d been struck!
My hubby adjusted the float in the toilet you see…. And miraculously the noise simply ceased to be…
Finally we sat down with a sigh, looked at each other, and laughed, as we finished that show…
But what a night that had been! Never had a movie ever entertained us or moved us so…
Especially to such a foolish extreme!  Yes, and to this I have to say… 
Never before had a toilet… so thoroughly…Yanked our chain! … Happy Halloween!

By Mike and Carol Eastman… A real happening…


Details | Rhyme | |

A COSTUME FIT FOR A PRINCE

Somebody came up with this great, fancy idea,
which in time turned into an unstoppable mania;
I was called prince...I had some blue blood in me,
but not living in a castle and considered true royalty!
I profoundly thought to myself, " Can't I  live
in that magical world of make-believe?"
On the way to school, I saw a sharp outfit somehow tight
that the Merchant of Venice wore to seduce his sweetheart. 
Rushing into that small shop, I asked the salesperson with elegant flair,
" Can I try this costume on? expecting a positive answer.
She looked and me and uncertainty sparked on her middle-aged face,
" The pants is a bit too big for you, little prince...but we can add lace
to tighten up your small waste!"upon hearing that, I became frantic and began to dance.
Everyone at the Halloween Party admired my royal costume...a costume fit for a prince! 
 


Written by Andrew Crisci
for Russell Sivey's contest,
" Halloween Fun "


Details | Rhyme | |

Candy Crush

It’s Halloween and I've gorged again
Eating as much as several men
Sickened last year, didn't learn then
After I start I can’t say when

Now what’s left is scattered about
Stomach’s gone from thin to stout
Will take months to work this out
I’ll regret it tomorrow without a doubt

Candy corn, bars and lollipops
Tasted so good I couldn't stop
Ate so much my belly might pop
Exhausted on the couch I flop

I have to admit with some dismay
That Haloween’s still a month away
Adding shame to this display
I have to buy more later today

(Everything Halloween Free Poetry Contest 10/9/13)


Details | Limerick | |

Nevermore

The coven of witches heard a loud knock. Who is it? Shout'd a voice behind the cloak. " It is me said Poe The one that you know" And everyone chant'd "Nevermore" with a mock! Dorian Petersen Potter Aka ladydp2000 Copyright2014 September,25,2014


Details | Free verse | |

Go Tell

When I went out on the porch this morn, tiny spider's mother had strung her web
across right in front of the door..

I did not tell cute tiny spider to go on down yonder and get your mother

No, this mother was scary drawn up with her feet pulled in a ball

When she stretched out, why I had to move on 

She straightened me out right fast..

Mothers are like that when their child is threatened.. 


Just had to write this being Halloween is coming up soon...


Details | Rhyme | |

Halloween Grinch

Another Halloween approaches
Kids all  up in my face, the  roaches!
They're running up to my house
Candy is what it's all about about

Maybe I should keep them guessing
No candy till we say a blessing
For all those rotted teeth forthcoming
Sugar messing up their plumbing

Grabbing handfuls from my candy dish
Put mousetraps in there? Oh how I wish
I can almost hear them whisper
What a rotten trick there mister.

I would smile and only say
Its the tricks that make my day
treats are for the few you see
who do not come to bother me

I'll send it to them in the mail
They love to get it without fail.
They'll ask their parents where it came from
Who'll answer from the old mean one

The one who lives across the street
The one who hates Halloween
He wants all the kids to stay away
We know just how to make him pay.

When Halloween next it comes
We'll all gather every one
and keep ringing his old doorbell
Until his eardrums start to swell

Then we'll take all those mousetraps
Throw them in his waiting lap
and whatever they happen to latch upon
Won't matter to us we'll be gone

At the hospital when they ask him
who did this deed on just a whim
He'll say it was for Halloween
His trick sure was a special treat.


Details | Free verse | |

Halloween Folly

I’m a stodgy old lady with suddenly too much time on her hands.
I was always too work worn to make big Halloween plans...

But as I walked thru Walgreen’s to get my latest meds…
I came up the isle to the You Know- Hoo Hoo of a 2 story black cat, instead.
I ‘d have a silly grin on my face too, with a $49.95 sticker so delicately placed.
As I looked around his You Know Hoo- Hoo…
There was a fan in his foot, breathing life to every corner and nook.
With air going in… where was it going out?
I vote for a whistle in that You Know Hoo Hoo spot.
But fun aside… I decided I could have fun too. So I bought the dang thing.
Finally I got him in place after working my support hose as far as they would go.
Lord have mercy on me… maybe I shouldn’t have took that last med, you see…
For I began to suddenly see possibilities…
I securely anchored his back feet to the ground. 
Then got a small fan to blow on his belly, so he’d rear up on command when the Kids came around. 
I put a bell on its neck to draw their attention right there.
Then I went back and bought 2 white ghosts with pennies to spare.
I set up one to ride on his great big black back.
The other I put in his mouth and ran a string to a post for another effect.
When the kids scream, as surely they will… a ghost will climb out of his mouth
To the post residing there. I could see it flying so bravely and true.
This was amazing I said, as I had a laugh or two.
But that wasn’t enough… It seems I’d had another two med’s.
So I bought a crystal skull with a candle to glow in my lamp on top of the poll.
And got a witchy costume where I’d let my white hair flow.

Then with another med I found a cauldron with dry ice so perfectly placed.
I dreamed up some glowing mushrooms for a ring in my yard to draw the kids in.
Inside the ring was a pumpkin that was cut par excellence. 
A neighbor had made it for me with a fairy on top.
Now instead of a stodgy old bat, they brought their chairs about.
Every night after dinner they came to see what silliness next I would place.
They see me as someone with too much time on her hands, in fact.
I do have a great story and a poem to write this night.
My meds may be dwindling, but it was a hoot and I practiced a rusty old laugh.
And two more neighboring witches came over to help keep the kids in check.
Then two teenage ghouls came by with guitars and a musical score.
Next year beware, I’ll be back at it again, in fact, I’ll do more.
Contest: Holliday Hearth: CSEastman


Details | Light Poetry | |

A Haunted Poem

Snakes slither in my veins in lieu of blood.
There is a demon in my eye.
My stomach’s full of stinking mud.
A troll grins gleefully between my thighs.
My fingers form black widow’s legs.
My knees are sculpted from dead men’s skulls.
My toes are those of crows who’ve laid their eggs
Within the cracks of my withered soles.
Upon my shoulders rest two vultures’ nests
Like shambolic, messed epaulets.
A massive ogre sits upon my chest.
He adorns me like a medal on a general’s breast.
I am a tenement
For all the creepy-crawlies 
Beneath the firmament 
And it drive me up the wallies
That none of them pay rent. 


Details | Couplet | |

DRESSING UP


   It's always a chore to make...and still,
   when Halloween comes, I find the will.

   I don't rent or buy costumes you see,
   but dress myself up like I want to be.

   I don't trick or treat as I am too old,
   yet, I do it for the kids coming to my door so bold.

   Once I stuffed an old shirt and jeans
   With rags and paper and other things.

   Then I pinned it to the clothing I wore,
   Four arms, four legs...who could want more?

   One year I wrapped myself in aluminum foil,
   Just to see if some of those kids I could roil.

   I wasn't exactly the Tin Man of Oz's fame,
   But the neighborhood all thought me quite insane.

   Having pinned stuffed animals to my shirt one time
   The "stuffed shirt" routine was more than a crime.

   I have been hunchbacked and straight laced just for the kids,
   Some come to my door, just to see what I did.

   Last year I took a soft ball and pinned it atop my shoulder,
   No, it wasn't there to look like a boulder.

   I put a facemask and hat on it you see,
   Two heads were better than one, when the kids looked at me.

   I've gone to a party wearing shorts 'neath my overcoat,
   But being such a flimsy "Flasher", I could not emote.

   So, I took the strobe from my camera and held it inside,
   Then, when I opened my coat...FLASH...got everyone wide eyed.

   I don't do parties for Halloween any more,
   Too much work, passing out candy at the door.

   But, I still dress up for the kids to know,
   That you don't have to buy a costume when imagination will do.

   I will wear some wierd outfit that I have tried to do well,
   Then yank open the door screaming..."Who's ringing that bell"?

   It is often fun to see the reactions my costumes bring each year,
   They generally don't know what awaits them here.

   It's only once a year that I go on this binge,
   The littlest ones never cease to cringe.

   Some will run to their parents standing in the drive,
   Wondering if such a creature could be alive.

   But they eventually come back to reap their treats.
   In spite of my bombastic costumal feats.

   So, if you come to my door just beware,
   More than a crazy poet, you might find here.
   


Details | Rhyme | |

Halloween

The candle’s flickering orange light Loaned tension to the night, And from shadows cold and dark, gave purchase to the sight. A Spectre’s hand in vapour white, then pointed at each soul, an icy blast then dimmed the fire, And quenched the smouldering coal These whispered words in rasping voice, then echoed in the room ‘Each Halloween the hand of fate Appoints one to his doom.’ Panic played though terror stayed, all fleeing from the room, their frightened eyes stared spellbound, as the hand moved through the gloom. A sudden bolt of arcing light Then stole their panic’d breath As Mother said ‘take off that glove, You’ve scared the kids to death.’


Details | Couplet | |

MADONNA'S OR LADY GAGA'S COSTUME?

Many girls of this generation love to wear a Halloween costume...
something unusual, not looking like a fair godmother, they assume.


Madonna is their idol too, more stylish than Lady Gaga, but much they seem to share...
they should choose the costume that will make them look much older than they are.


So girls barge in stores and buy that costume you'll love to wear on Halloween night,
don't grab anything that's out of style with bright colors that don't reflect moonlight.  


Look dangerous and manacing and chase away naughty boys dressed as vampires,
step on their tiny toes, if they try to grab you imitating bats with red, bloody eyes.


Have fun and smile, no night compares to this one with all the noise and sneers,
be careful not to stare at them for too long...their teeth are sharper than scissors.


Run and keep on screaming and they will stop chasing you or at least give up,
and if they springle Baby Podwer on you...make believe that's dust from a star. 




Details | Rhyme | |

ode to marshmellow peeps

Marsh mellow peeps
a wonderful treat.
Yellow pink or  blue 
 all of them stick like glue 
on easter , christmas or even halloween  
I like peeps and  pass on  jelly beans .
Some have said they can cure the common cold  
others say it reminds them of yellow slime mold  
what can I say ?
it doesnt matter to me either way 
but personally  my favorite type is
the ones you put in the microwave oven  
and watch as they  bubble, pop and  fizz   


Details | Rhyme | |

Why I Love Halloween

Halloween is favorite time of year,
Time to face and conquer your fears.
The ghouls and goblins come to my side,
I catch a glimpse of Frankenstein and his bride.
There are vampires about,
The werewolves raise a raucous and get loud.
The witches stir up their brew,
The grazillas gather their entire crew.
The elves are so timeless and beautiful,
And the pumpkins sure are fruitful.
The zombies arise from the dead,
And the ghosts walk among us again.
The pirates are once again sailing the high seas,
The pepper makes the chefs sneeze.
Darth Vader can conquer the Earth with his Death Star,
And we can travel back to the future in an awesome car.
Iron Man,
Can save us all again.
Captain America can save the world dressed in tights,
As creepy eyes light the night.

The Hulk can smash,
And the black cats can give you a rash.
Mike Myers can give you a thrill,
And Jason can make you scream so shrill.
Freddy can keep you awake,
While Jason keeps you from lakes.
The bats creep from their caves,
The princes always save the maves.
Romeo can wed his Juliet,
In a ceremony no one will forget.
So when you think of Halloween,
And alll it can mean...
Think of fairy- tales coming true,
And hopefully Halloween will be special for you too!


Details | Sestina | |

HOWLWEEN AND MEOWWEEN

Halloween is not just for kids...
what about those gorgeous pets
that we snuggle, love, kiss and willfully spoil?
Shouldn't they have their own
special Howlween and Meowween
with treats never tasted in a bright party hall?



I love pets as you all do, and with loving and tender care    
I spoil them with warm clothes and matching shoes;
a wool hat and tiny gloves to keep them from frost!
Look at them, aren't they adorable and look sharper 
than the less-loved pets that are bored with their blues?  
Can you compare a well-groomed one to a scruffy one? 



On this coming Halloween, dress up your pets for success,
disregard the dumb looks of certain unintelligent folks,
they never see humor in anyone or anything, and they can't laugh
at these cuties that have a ton of affection on their mellow faces;
what would they do to be patted or be cuddled in their embrace?
They would give them their howleen and neowween for a soft caress!



And on every street people walk their dogs and cats dressed like mine,
what a surprise to watch this parade of adorable pets that look up and smile!
They will never know who was the genius behind all this, but gently and happily they stroll!
So who's to say that Halloween isn't for them? They're like our children who delight our soul!
And on each Halloween night, let them out, and let them do their Howlween and Meowween,
to enjoy the Halloween celebration, but tomorrow they'll not remember where they had been!


Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci


Details | Rhyme | |

Special Halloween Costume

Something special for my love
Something for a Halloween treat
Ten rolls of Saran Wrap real neat
See through costume slowly greet
Greet him at the backdoor my dove
Scared him to death.
RIP


Details | Rhyme | |

Halloween Costume



I'm not so very evolved you see
For Halloween this is what I'll be
Dressed in brown from head to knee
With huge red lips for all to see

Big white socks on hands and feet
Eyes painted black look so neat
Red yarn  top-not flopping down
And tail a'dragging on the ground

No darned banana for this beast
Candy corn my favorite  feast
A Sock Monkey doesn't seem so scary
Perhaps I'll attack my friend Larry

Apologies once more to Larry Belt...



Details | Light Poetry | |

There Wolf

Late at night I’d sprout some hair and my nose would start to twitch,
My teeth grew long but I didn’t care as I looked forward to the switch.

I traveled about in the night by the light of a full born moon,
It was enough for me to gain my sight and I wanted it to happen soon.

I would let my wild side out even if only for short spurts,
Today it causes my dear wife to pout when I tear up my sport shirts.

Most of the time I’m just a guy watching ballgames on TV,
Sometimes though don’t ask me why my inner werewolf gets set free.

No one messed with me when I’d howl up to the glorious moon at night
Now they look at me and scowl even while in my line of sight.

If they only knew that if I wanted their bones would split and snap,
But it’s been a while since I last hunted and I’d rather take a nap.

Middle age hits a werewolf hard and I no longer seem to care.
Because I feel like a ton of lard and I’m forever sprouting hair.

There’s no need to hunt fresh meat when there’s a barbeque right outside.
And crunching bones is no big treat I prefer potatoes crunchy fried.

My wife can turn me into jelly and she never makes me beg.
She rolls me over and scratches my belly and makes me shake my leg.

Tony Lane
For the Halloween Fun contest


Details | Light Poetry | |

Stick It To Him { Footle } Light Poetry

Vampires
           Desires

                       Holy
                               Moley

                                              Beware
                                                         Out there

                                                                       Used stake 
                                                                                He's baked





Tribute To Halloween   
 [BOOOOOOOOO} LOL

Also Entry For 
Donna Golden's   Footle Fright


Details | Cinquain | |

Bewitched

                                                    Bewitched
                                               supernatural art
                                          Her unique practice
                                   twitching nose- eyelids- fingers
                                                  spellbound





In Loving Memory Of
Elizabeth Montgomery



Happy Halloween All    {BOOOOOOOOO}


Details | Rhyme | |

TPed

Some little bastards TPed my house and my yard.
I put them over my Knees and spanked them hard.
They ran home and told their moms and pops.
Thirty minutes later I was arrested by some cops.

I spent Halloween night behind bars.
Those kids returned and egged my car.
They also left a flaming bag of poop at my door.
They vandalised my house but at least their butts were sore.

(THIS IS A FICTIONAL POEM.)


Details | I do not know? | |

Halloween Night

Halloween Night 8/25/12

Night is coming fast,
I really want this night to last,
Halloween...Halloween,

Ghost, ghouls, muppets, angels,
Little witches practicing their spells,
Halloween...Halloween,

Graveyards appear off roads,
Cobwebs string along lumpy toads,
Halloween, Halloween,

Fog comes from no where,
Frankenstein and Dracula want your blood,
What, are you scared?
It's Halloween, the dead emerge, runnnnnnnn

Amy Winehouse and Jack Daniels come hand in hand,
The show with Ray Charles with Zombie Winehouse in high demand,
Audience drinks mugs of tropical blood,
Werewolf from Paris flies in to make life undone,
Dario Argento takes notes for cool effects,
He sits away from the demons, of all, he knows them best.

For those stuck at home,
Pass out candy to a few drones,
Tinkerbell blesses you with glitter,
Mary Poppins has to mark this moment on twitter,
Jason would rather just cut your throat,
So be nice, give him the basket, try not to choke,
The Crazy 88s are Halloween neighborhood watch,
Looks like Andre the Giant just kicked one in the crotch,

It's midnight now, the carriage now a pumpkin,
Prince is mad, no kiss tonight, skins a lump again,
Concert was a success,
Candy is gone, no more stress,
Scared to sleep now, the best comes during rest....


Details | Rhyme | |

Witches And Warlocks Party

See them fly across the sky
Where are they going and tell me why
I’ve heard a rumour there hail and hearty
Flying to the witches and warlocks party

Halloweens the night it’s on
You will see at daylight that all have gone
Would you like to see them at their hop?
Well try your local empty shop

In the back room they will be swinging
Dancing, rocking, reeling and singing
But if you’re seen please head for the road
Or risk being turned into a toad

One is out back parking the broomsticks
This he does in exchange for some tricks
He is always the last to join the hoe down
To take of his hat and his long flowing gown

All the black cats and pointed hats
Even the warlocks have brought with them bats
But do not be fooled by their funny attire
For the could end up changing you into a remould tyre

See what their drinking it looks just like pure blood
A couple of frogs or some newts for their pud
Soon all the drink and the food it has gone
Their little party just can not go on

So until the next party they will have to go home
Next Halloween surely then they will roam
Once again they will be hale and hearty
Once again they will go to the witches and warlocks party 


Details | Imagism | |

alien queen

it,s halloween
my canteen is full of caffeine
my cuisine is green jelly beans  filled with vaccine
i,m a alien queen trying to fit  into earth,s,s tight 
belly button jeans hope the paramedics are on site
if i make any sudden moves
what a confusing scene
i,m so betwichen cute and bewitching mean
earth,s little beast are pitching
me on a time machine sending me
far far away oh what a scream to miss the candy bar feast
what a    bad dream
this alien queen won,t cry  just grab  
my canteen and jelly bean sack fly away
but you earthly  beast better beware i will be back
to try once again
see you soon just look at the moon
next halloween day


Details | Rhyme | |

Trick or Treat

I went to buy Halloween candy;
The choices weren’t really the best.
I figured I might as well buy what I like,
‘Cause I would get stuck with the rest.

Last year I had no trick-or-treaters.
My Kit-Kats and Mounds bars sat waiting;
And each time I saw them I scarfed several down,
The calories accumulating.

I should have just bought treats I hated,
Then tossed them when nobody showed;
But childhood advice gave me warning
That I’d violate some kind of code.

So today when I stocked up on candy,
I chose all my favorites they sell;
And I promise I’ll wait to unwrap them
‘Til I’m sure no one’s ringing my bell!


Details | Couplet | |

Dress Up For Grownups

* for "Halloween Costume" contest sponsored by SKAT*

Oh I've had many wacky costumes through the years
Just to show folks nothing is as it appears!

Once I dressed as a pirate and wore videos
A cable wire necklace and swashbuckler clothes

I was a video pirate and some people guessed
When they saw vcr tapes in my treasure chest

Another time I had antennae and big wings
Dressed like a gypsy with my necklaces and rings

I was a gypsy moth,not many even knew
They'd stare at me and laugh but didn't have a clue

And sorry to say but once I was a pregnant nun
Irreverent,I know,but it was so much fun!

When all else fails and you are kind of in a hurry
Here's a last minute one so you don't have to worry

Put P on a t-shirt,blacken up one eye
You'll be a black-eyed pea,it's good for a stand-by!

I've been a box of Kleenex and a trophy wife
And all the normal,boring things you see in life

But being a creative soul I've tried to be
At Halloween something you don't usually see!


Details | Rhyme | |

Felicity Undead

Since I have bad luck with women, I decided to build one.
But after I brought her to life, I said "What have I done?"
I used dead body parts to build her and I brought her to life with electricity.
At first I was very happy and I named her Felicity.
But I accidentally gave her the brain of a Nymphomaniac.
Whenever she sees a man, she always jumps in the sack.
Men don't mind one bit that she's undead.
They just like it because she goes to bed.
I thought she'd be faithful, what am I going to do?
If you're a man, she'll definitely want to nail you.

(This is a fictional poem)


Details | Burlesque | |

The Agony and The Eggs I See

aint no big fan of eggs,
scrambled, well, okay
just like the yellow part,
that's all that I can say...

we go back many a year,
my egg friends and dear old me
there's reasons for my ambivalence,
as you will shortly see

one day, a young girl on a visit
to my very humble abode...
decided we should scramble eggs,
but this is what I was told...

don't let that "belly button" 
get into the mixing bowl,
I looked at her quite puzzled,
at what I'd just been told...

that yucky umbilical cord..
that placenta like part,
which did truely look so "ick"!!!
the thought of it from then on,
astounded me,
it really made me sick

so from then on,
whenever I would scamble,
those eggs, now a chore,
removing that elusive membrane
was a neccessity once more

I had some other reasons
for eggs to be memorable for me
like halloween raw egg stunts,
throwing at others,
and, oh my, if you could only see,

I threw one at another group of schmucks
so stupid there were no ducks,
and hit one in the head
from a block, quite far away,
I am quite amazed how I did it,
even to this day...

and one time was pretty scary,
as we chucked one at a door
the maniac inside
charging out at us almost before
thank God he didn't catch us,
or this poem would not be here
he would have killed us if he could
or at least spanked our stupid rear..

there are other tales to tell
of eggs and dumb old me,
maybe in the future,
we'll just have to wait and see.


Details | I do not know? | |

Mean Halloween

Concerned, I said "yes." 
I hung up the phone. 
This Halloween night 
I would be alone. 

I just received word, 
at home I must stay. 
A scary monster, 
was headed my way. 

It wanted the kids. 
This, my greatest fear. 
I warned the children, 
as evil grew near. 

They had such courage, 
as they hugged me tight. 
One had to remind me, 
"Turn on the porch light !" 

I flipped on the switch 
as I looked outside. 
The creature was coming, 
there was no time to hide. 

The house began to shake, 
as it approached the door. 
I wasn't ready 
for what was in store. 

The strangest thing 
my eyes ever saw, 
was dressed like a clown 
my ex mother-in-law ! 

"Let's go trick-or-treating !" 
she said with a smile. 
"Start passing out candy 
we'll be back in awhile."  




Details | Burlesque | |

T'was the Night Before the Witness

T'was the night before the witness,
Was sheduled to testify,
I was very frightened,
It's possible I could die....

I was accused of shooting
poor defenseless Santa,
And going on a long rant'a
lasting through Christmas Eve,
The jury for some reason,
thought I had something
up my sleeve...

Now, if this wasn't a clear case,
Of breaking and entry,
Then find me guilty,
Cause it sure is beyond me

I mean, come on, soot
came shooting out the fireplace,
Then a red boot dangled,
Practically in my face....

Then this sinister chant,
Ho, ho, ho,
Tell me, how would he know,
If I am a ho?!?

Then he dropped his huge bag of loot,
Just before he hit the floor,
Well, I'd seen enough,
I needn't see no more,

Out came my .22
And let me tell you,
When he spied this,
his cheery looking face,
Was quickly to be replaced
By a crimson red visage,
More in tune with his decoupage,

Now I had a problem,
300 pounds of roly poly jollies,
Lay beneath my hollies

His bulk had smothered my
mantel fire,
That was not to my desire

I was about to dissect him,
And feed him to his raindeer,
When suddenly a siren,
I began to hear....

The cops were soon all over me,
Like wet toilet paper
on a Halloween tree,
There was no means of escape,
At least none that I could see,

Well therefore, in jail I sat,
Booked for something that,
Made me the villian,
to all the children,
When all I was trying to do,
was "chillin"!

Now I stand before the Judge,
I see my problems multiply,
Because the Judge was an ex-elf,
And he'd make sure that I do fry.


Details | Rhyme | |

All Hallow's Eve

All Hallow's Eve

A new year,
A new cycle.
Time to prepare.
Gather the crops.
Children Beware.
Ghosts and Goblins
And Faeries alike,
Will give you a scare
On Halloween night.
The blood moon is rising
Colossal and blazing.
Giving light to the covens
Gathered for praising.
So all who are frightened,
Afraid, suspicious,
Unenlightened,
Stay inside your home.
On All Hallow's Eve
The witches will roam.


Details | Narrative | |

Horror Comes To Town

Way back when,
Living with my father Harry,
One Halloween I had an idea spark,
Seemed to me it'd be a lark....

Thus the tale of When Harry's House Held
The Horrific Holloween Hex..from Hell

Early 70's, my favorite time did approach,
For scary Halloween tricks and pranks,
I intended to truely host...

So, I spent some time, with tools and wood,
Made a faux- coffin, looked pretty good!   
Placed a self made dummy inside,
His head a bar-room prop for "Old Grand Dad",
This was gona be fun for me to be had,
Dressed him up, looking better all the time,
Stuck a big knife in him...
Guess it had been a vicious crime,
Ketchup blood stains,
Covered all in clear plastic wrap,
Placed it in the living room,
Just inside our front door,
But I wasn't done, I planned much, much more...

Forgive me, if I've already told this tale,
I can't remember,....oh, what the hale...

Had my girlfriend dress up like Morticia,
Black dress and more,
Put on my ill fitting black suit,
Almost ready for the door...
Powdered our faces with white talc,
Held a candle holder for the day
Put on eerie organ funeral music,
Still got more to say....

Set up two chairs near the "coffin",
My parents became the grieving mourners,
Waited for our victims to arrive,
Knew they'd remember this Halloween,
As long as they were alive....

Didn't take long,
Till the first kids came....
I opened the door slowly,
menacingly....
They would never be the same.....

Each group of children who knocked,
Ran out in great fright....
Oh, my golly, this gona be some night!!
Some dropped their bags of candy...
Boy I was "cleaning up"
The only house around,
Whose candy quantities tripled
by the cup!!

Then some frightened children,
Returned with many a wary parent,
Didn't believe their stories,
Thinking "No Way! They simply daren't!!"

Well, I escaped jail,
really don't know how...
But it left me with this tale...
That I tell often, as now.


Details | I do not know? | |

Halloween

(This is a fictional poem)

Last year there was a kid who was really mean.
He vandalized my house on Halloween.
He used toilet paper and lots of eggs.
But when he tried to run away, he didn't have fast enough legs.
I chased him down and shaved his head bald.
He screamed and screamed because he was appalled.
He came dressed like a pirate but he left looking like Kojak.
This Halloween I don't think he'll be back.


Details | I do not know? | |

Trick or treating

(This is a fictional poem)

Years ago on Halloween I wanted to wear costumes that were scary.
But my parents always made me go as the tooth fairy.
People laughed at me all over town.
It took years for me to live it down.
It was something that I always hated.
When I was a teenager, I never dated.
When I asked girls out, they always laughed.
Now all of these people are feeling my wrath.
I make them sorry that they made fun of me.
I bought the bank and I foreclose on their property.
They say I'm mean but I say Tough.
I tell them to start packing their stuff.
People have learned that laughing at me isn't a good thing to do.
If you laugh at me, I'll foreclose on you.


Details | Rhyme | |

THE HALLOWEEN COLLECTION

The house was bedecked in orange and black,
the costumes all ready the candy all stacked.
The children were anxious,
eyes painted and masked.

The ghosts came floating,
I was aghast.
From all different directions,
they came screeching past.
So loud and so quick !
They came at me so fast !

I wanted to run,
to get away from it all !
But it was only the children, 
from the Halloween Ball.

+

The ghosts and the goblins are running the show.
 The trickers and treaters are here now you know.
The mystery of darkness, the howl of the night.
The shroud of ghoulishness causes the fright.

The harvest of souls out of the tomb,
Out of the darkness, out of the womb.
All Hallows Eve on the horizon.
Nightfall, night watch, how surprising !

Pumpkins aglow, witches alight.
Bats fly by, what a spooky sight !

Spiders and webs and monsters and such,
I bet you couldn't tell
that I like Halloween very much !