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Funny God Poems | Funny Poems About God

These Funny God poems are examples of Funny poems about God. These are the best examples of Funny God poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Free verse | |


Love was in the air when he laid eyes on her.
Childhood; elementary and even high school with her.
Walking towards her, he greeted her.
Anxiety spiraled as he hugged her.
Conversation grew deeper as he sat with her.
Wanting to get closer because he was falling for her.

Another woman called pausing the time he was having with her.
Knowing he had to answer; he stepped away and spoke to her.
She stated that something wasn't quite right with her.
She said that her stomach had been bothering her.
Now he's thinking back if he came inside her.
Thinking if she lied to him about her tubes being tied within her.

Does he blame himself for listening to her?
Knowing right from wrong and yet he can't blame her.
Does he blame the devil for allowing him to be intimate with her?
Is he not a human that makes mistakes just like her?
Begging God to make a way for him and her.
Asking God to forgive him for committing the sin with her.

God said, "relax my son, you were only dreaming of her."

Details | Couplet | |


Football coach Bobby Bowden was never one to cuss
But refs make mistakes and coaches have a right to fuss

“St. Bowden” as he was lovingly called by players
Instilled moral values and hushed all the naysayers

He’d not take God’s name in vain, so he coined dadgumit
It became his trademark, might appear in his obit

If a ref made a bad call, he’d race onto the field
Never said God d*** it, when the ref’s call he appealed

"Dadgumitrefereeism" got his point across
The refs would shy away because Bobby was the boss

Sometimes calls were overturned since Bobby was revered
Short and stout in stature, but the refs still shook in fear

The “Saint” played with God on his side and the refs knew it
Dadgumitrefereeism didn't bother God a bit

Details | Light Poetry | |

The Seventh Day

God took his time to make the world and we are truly blessed, 
He worked so hard for six long days but then He took His rest. 
A whole day off from His creation so what’s a deity to do? 
He slept late then got Himself some premium coffee to brew. 
Then He made himself some cinnamon buns and ate them on the deck, 
He wondered how things were back on Earth but resisted the urge to check. 
They’ll be fine for just one day. How much trouble could they find? 
I left them alone in a paradise and now it’s My turn to unwind. 
Then He remembered the serpent and the tree of wrong and right, 
And He began to worry that they’d never make it to the morning light. 
So He put on a robe and grabbed His keys and headed for the door, 
Then He stopped himself before He left and He paced across the floor. 
If He couldn’t trust them for even one day then what good would they be? 
So He decided to make a mutton sandwich and go and watch TV. 
But He couldn’t concentrate on the game and He was running out of chips, 
And taking a little walk in the garden would be much better for His hips. 
He went to check up on the kids in Eden and what do you suppose?
Sure enough He found the two of them running around in clothes.
They pointed fingers at each other and at the snake and at the tree,
And all the while He thought to Himself, they really do need Me.
That’s why God keeps Himself available no matter what the time or day,
So when we are in need of his strength we only have to pray.
Who knows? Maybe someday we’ll realize what there is at stake,
We’ll be able to take care of ourselves and then God can take a break.
But not yet.

Details | Rhyme | |

Snake's Legs

When snakes had legs and love was free,
A man called Adam climbed a tree.
Although he knew the act was banned,
He plucked an apple with his hand.

In Eden you could always find,
Delicious fruits of every kind.
And everyone of them were free,
Except the apples on this tree.

A snake you see, the curse of man,
Had swayed the mind of his woman.
His partner Eve had tried it all,
Except this luscious juicy ball.

But God had made it very clear,
He was the one you had to fear.
There is one thing you should not do,
”This tree is mine, and not for you!”

When battle rages in man’s mind,
To do what’s right for all mankind.
A woman’s will, will then prevail,
No matter if it makes him fail.

So Adam plundered to his fate,
His woman said she could not wait.
He plucked the fruit to his demise,
No matter that it was unwise.

Now God’s authority was broke,
They’d disobeyed the words he spoke.
He told them both to go away,
And closed his garden from that day.

So Eve and Adam, duly clothed,
Now left that place they’d been betrothed.
And found a world so large and free,
Where they could climb just any tree.

The snake of course had lost it’s legs,
Because he put God’s power to test.
By tempting woman in this way,
He’d had an awful price to pay.

But God it was, who came off worse,
His power was gone, and even worse.
A ‘woman’ had defeated him,
By making man commit this sin.

So women now will rule the land,
Not God, or men you understand?
For women conquer all they see.
While God enjoys ‘snakes legs’ for tea!

Details | Prose | |

Golfer Talking Trash

I’m cool, warmed up, loose. I’m gonna crack this ball straight down the fairway 
all the way to the white post, clean and straight. Yeah.

I’m the king of the worm burners, oh, no, I’m the baddest Tiger of these
here woods. Ha ha, not bad, I launched that there rocket clean
into that oak, missed my forehead, missed my partner, never you mind. 
I’m out on the fairway now.  
                                           I’m cool, warmed up, loose. Got my eye on the ball.
King of Zen. Just swing and … yeah. Okay.

I’m King of the beach blanket beee-ing go. Okayyy. No problem. Golf is about practice 
and practice make perfect. Okay, closed my eyes there. 
Splash? Splash it is.

Okay, I’m Chipping King, just smack that ball into that little ole hole. 
God’s be with me. Whew.
I’m the man. Ain’t I the man? Blow me a-way!
It’s all won on the greens guys. Ain’t I the King? Didn’t I just chip right in? Ever see
anything like that before? MMMhmm. You on for five on the next hole?

Details | Blank verse | |


ever after
upside down from a rafter

giving my cherished name
to short splintered sticks
that hits long balls
out of sight
both day and night and

did I mention the difficulty that I have 
in going while hanging upside down
God made it so that 
I must move to move
and stand upright

Details | Narrative | |

Granny And Your last glass of water

He starts singing songs of Ireland and we are home in a jiffy
"What's a jiffy," my mother wonders
"Guess  where we went Granny?"
"I don't know but I have a feeling you are gonna tell me," answers my grandmother
"And Don't call me Granny!"
"We went to church so Poppy could ask secret questions."
"The priest gave Poppy a shot and a beer and Poppy sent me next store and he gave me money for  taffy."
"He told me not to tell anyone especially you about the priest cause it's only for the priests ears."
"He said God would take away taffy and I'd never get another goodie and God would strike me dead if I told."
"So I can't tell anyone."
"He did," and she starts yelling and grabs a weapon,"what kind of idiot would be scaring a little child?"
Granny is standing on  Poppy's toes and and asking him questions of where he'd been and getting a sniff of his breath
"So what did you tell  the priest and him giving you consolation and a shot and beer."
"That little rat ," and thinks about the money for candy
Later, Granny is chasing Poppy with that big iron frying pan and poppy running and singing
"In Heaven they have no beer, that's why we drink it here."
"You damn fool I'm gonna bust you in the head, "and throws the pan at his head
And later
Cousin Francis has bill collectors come to the house looking for him
Granny was four foot seven  inches and she starts kicking him in the shin
My Mother grabs his Dick Tracy hat and she jumps on it and flattens it
I ask my mom where I was when this happened and she pauses
" You were in Heaven Patrick waiting with your brother!"
The truancy officers bang on the door and want to know where Uncle Charles is
Granny shrugs and says, "He is upstairs and the sound of the window going up sounds
They all run upstairs and see Uncle sliding down the tree and running as fast as his
seven year legs can move
He comes home later that evening holding a goose under his arm
And Poppy has a soft-boiled goose egg for breakfast every morning
I ask Uncle what happened to that goose and He said,"one day he came home  and
they had chicken for dinner."
And Poppy was gone to heaven to get me and my brother ready Mom says
And Granny sits my brother and me on her lap and says,"you two knuckleheads listen up."
"This is very important so don't forget it."
"Treat people the way you want to be treated, because you never know who is going to hand you your last glass of water"

Details | Rhyme | |


If God would take the moon

And make it into a great pie,

The sweet aroma of spice

And green apple would fill the sky.

He’d begin with the careful peeling,

Making the globe shining apple-white.

Then He’d find fixins’ to get it just right.

He would count the servings needed

For the whole world to be satisfied,

And choose just the right flavoring

To set all differences of taste aside,

But with all due respect to the bakers’ pride.

To provide for all the world’s problems,

God gives his secret spiritual answers.

So to the seasoning of the apples,

He adds His nine flavor enhancers.

With perfection, God takes no chances.

There is a pinch of peace, joy, and love,

For that aroma that rises above.

Then there is the patience, gentleness and grace,

So that humankind need not eat in haste.

He wants all to sense the goodness in the taste.

Next faith, modesty and moderation He adds,

And then more love he sprinkles in scads.

Here below our appetites we whet,

Our stomach’s pits to be satisfied.

Thankful for every morsel we get,

Until convinced our Lord is glorified.

Soon one could hardly see a crumb.

But we have no need at all to fear,

For at the end of daylight’s trusty gleam,

The moon again is a shining sphere.

Details | Limerick | |

A Whale of a Tale

When the call of the Lord came to Jonah,
“set out for the great land of Nineveh!”
he was angry inside,
and decided to hide,
on a Tarshish bound ship leaving Joppa.

Then the Lord sent a great wind on the sea,
ne’er a more violent storm could there be,
there on destiny’s brink,
the ship threatened to sink,
while, old Jonah, was below deck asleep.

Surely, each sailor’s heart fainted with fear,
as the ship they were unable to steer.
“Wake up, Jonah!”  they cried,
“get thee quickly topside,
and fervently beg your God to draw near!”

Now, Jonah knew that this storm was for him,
as in his heart he remembered his sin,
he thought he was sunk,
when they gave him the dunk,
and had to choose whether to sink or to swim.

As soon as Jonah met up with the ocean,
Both the winds and the waves ceased commotion,
then along came a whale,
and old Jonah grew pale,
as it swallowed him up in one motion!

Three long days in that big fish he stayed,
vowing never again would he stray,
relieved not to be dead,
and with kelp on his head,
onto dry land, our dear Jonah was sprayed!

Please, allow me, now this moral to mention,
that when the Lord God gives thee direction,
you must not delay,
set out right away,
His good judgment you must never question.

Should by chance, you hear God’s voice compelling,
“ head thee out to Bangladesh or New Delhi,”
best get on the right boat,
and pray that it floats,
lest you end up kelp covered and smelly!

Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: V

Omniscient guy
Yet he lets bad things happen
How can he exist?

Details | Carpe Diem | |

Strenght for the Journey

I asked for strength for the journey
But its in the journey I find the strength
I hear lost souls cry out
These are more than just words that I think
Yeah I'm on the brink of disaster
Lady Luck I'll come by and see you later
But at this time I'm ending the game I only got like ten minutes
But actually I'm running five minutes late
Yeah! its kinda like my life story
Yep, the red foe is crushed now
Sure, I'm just like lightning that is struck down
Like the beginning of wisdom, is to distinguish the differences
I face my fears, I continue in the face of resistance
Because the path of least resistance is what makes both men and rivers crooked
If I have another hearing the judge will throw the book at me
And last night, Oh my GOD why did you forsake me
I got on my knees and prayed for guidance through this darkness
I went back to where it started: and I walked away, took away the threat and became the target
Of course I'm more than just a product of my environment
I'm entirely> Aware that there are 2 kinds of conspiracy
The conspiracy of the government and the conspiracy of the devil
My soul is here just to show you, you must dig deeper inside yourself
I've reached way past the point where it seems hopeless
Every door in Sweetwater is closed to me 
So I close the door to hell and open the door to heaven
It was God who said everything my hand touched would prosper
And my hand has touched this keyboard
And my voice is just screaming out to touch that microphone

    "Get your microphone and make it pretty; Put a skull around it for this city"

Details | Rhyme | |

Quit My Job, Smashed My Car

Quit my job, smashed my car
My back does throb, need to learn guitar

So I can make, a silly song
And I can sing, it all day long
About how, my God is strong
So that even now, nothing’s wrong

Even though, I quit my job
smashed my car, my back does throb

Life is hard, but I’ve got God
So I won’t let any thought
Any worry or fear
Convince me you’re not near

Even when, I quit my job,
Smashed my car, my back does throb
Life is hard, but I won’t sob
I need to learn guitar

Details | Limerick | |

Three Atheistic Limericks

Three Atheist limericks 
	for April Fools' Day 2006

Dear Mrs. Schiavo: Goodbye. 
Dear Mrs. Schiavo:  Goodbye.
Fifteen years was a long time to die.
   Your husband was brave
   To withstand the wave
Of inedible pie in the sky.  

Why San Diegans remove Crosses from public Land

The SD City Council must hold strong:
Those mountaintop Christians are wrong.
   Crucifixion's the sign
   Of insensitive minds
Not the Native Americans' song.

Unrequited Faith

Dear Judeo-Christian God:
Your behavior's exceedingly odd.
   You let Hitler misbehave
   Then killed thousands with waves
And can't keep your priests' hands  off  kids'  bods!

Details | Couplet | |

I Score a Duck Due to No Luck


Luck is not in my dictionary
So, my life, losses only carry

Of course I make a honest try
But, ignores it God in the Sky

When I well prepare for the exam
Fate changes that day's program

In case I buy my favorite fruit
My joy, all tiny worms loot

If I go to the doctor for consultation
He would have gone out of station

When to tell my deep love I at last plan
She becomes the wife of another man

In the terrace when I put the flour
Suddenly comes a heavy downpour

I bought for my relative honey bottle
With diabetes he is making a battle

I gave generously bread to a beggar
He took it not due to severe sugar

Next day he to me sadly lamented
For his unhappiness, I repented

Superb English poems I finely write
My mother has no English might

When I decide to see today TV
Work in the office will turn heavy

When I aim for promotion in career
Head Office cancels it for that year

When I take the rain coat cautiously
Sun will generate heat mercilessly

In case I take not the rain coat
For severe rain, weather will vote

When I love to become a friend
His hand, none will kindly extend

While hearing a song in the radio
My family will prefer only the video

When I go cheerfully to the theater
Gets then punctured my scooter

God does not like me a bit
He does only the opposite

So I love not to live longer
Then God makes me linger

For five decades this is happening
So my disappointment is deepening.



TYPE mvvenkataraman IN URL

Details | I do not know? | |

Waiting at the car wash

One day I asked God if I could have a cheese sandwich and a cup of coffee.
No problem David, God said, coming right up.
He then organised a miner to get the ore to make the things He needed.
He then organised a farmer to plow the land to grow the wheat to make the bread.
He then organised a farmer to milk the cow to make the butter and the cheese.
He then organised a farmer grow the beans to make the coffee.
He then organised a driver to transport all the items to the kitchen.
He then organised a chef to make the sandwich and the cup of coffee.
He then organised the waiter to serve it up on a tray just for me.
I didn't dare tell Him that I had changed my mind after all that trouble!
Thank You Lord, it was a lovely snack.

While waiting at the car wash.

© Dave Timperley 2012

Details | Free verse | |

the Sunny Day Blues Man

living for the moment
ended life as we knew it 
but i'm just doing whatever
kind of hoping 
for some entertainment 
along the way

a day in the life 
of the sunny day blues man
hands down 
this is the best i ever was
the best i'll ever be
don't you agree

the sunny day blues man
isn't it funny the way news slants
the return of the sunny day blues man
just be happy with what you choose man
Never a better option than a given hand
thank god for the sunny day blues man

hope isn't a measure 
it's just tested time
a clamp of suspense 
when the moments array
an echo of needs 
to balance out 
the ways things seem
is the best you and I 
will ever be
don't you agree

the sunny day blues man
isn't it funny the way news slants
the return of the sunny day blues man
just be happy with what you choose man
Never a better option than a given hand
thank god for the sunny day blues man

at times life seems to cycles 
signals of distress
vanity and cupcakes 
i know, it's a brute mess
but along with the irony 
comes pancakes 
yes, the madness seems to iron me
yet i am still here

the eyes a thinker
life of a fighter
hands of a lighter weight 
when smiles reflected a pinch of hurting
because in punishment
the sunlight just couldn't outreach the curtains
though we take the steps alike
we trespass the worries to vaguely
but it was times like these that made me 
and it's the best i'll ever be

"the things we accept in steps of courage"

Details | Light Poetry | |

The Promised Land

Forty years is a pretty long time to be out on a camping trip,
And when you’re living on a mountainside you can start to lose your grip.
So God called his people together to tell them about his plan,
“Folks I just wanted to say, I’m sending you to the Promised Land.”
He talked to them of a land that was flowing with milk and honey,
And told them that to own it all wouldn’t cost them any money.
God divided them up into tribes and then into armies and finally squads,
They thought that their vision of milk and honey must be different than God’s.
When they marched into the land they found people who were very big,
They thought that this land of giants would snap them like a twig.
The walls of the cities in this land were tall and they towered to the sky,
They thought that God must be mad at them so they went to ask him why.
“Lord, it’s going to be tough to attack walls made strong with mortar and bricks,
When we are all only tiny little people running around with pointy sticks.”
God railed at them for having so little faith and told them to attack,
They sort of looked at each other and then told God that he could have it back.
But the Lord told them all to hunker down and do their very best to be brave,
After all the time that Moses had invested God was certainly going to save.
And so they were delivered and the land became their home to keep,
They just never would have guessed that the rent would be so steep.

Details | Rhyme | |

Mother Earth

I was told God made this marvellous place,
for the sole benefit of the human race,
although through the years it really seems,
as if this is the figment of someone's dreams,
and maybe a lot of what I've been told,
just seems to shine,but isn't gold.
Yes, I used to ask only now and then,
but nowadays it happens,again and again,
and the questions asked all revolve,
around a problem I can't solve.
How come it took him only six days,
to make the universe, for us to amaze,
and in this time to populate too,
our world with people and the rest of the zoo?
As I know for a fact, that when my dear mother,
was making my new little baby brother,
it took her about nine months or so,
before she was able to let him go,
and he could join us in this lovely place,
a shiny new addition to the human race.
So how come God could possibly do,
something like that in a second or two?
I think I'd better buy a new book,
this really does rate a really good look!

Details | Light Poetry | |

Somethings Fishy

God called on Jonah to do something he didn’t want to do. So Jonah beat a path for Tarshish to hide from you know who. But when he was on the ship God caused the sea to rise, His shipmates thought that tossing him over would probably be wise. Then God sent a fish to swallow Jonah and give him time to think, But after spending three days inside a whale Jonah began to stink. So Jonah prayed to God and promised that he’d try to do much better, He’d go give the word to Nineveh if it meant he wouldn’t get any wetter. So God made the fish puke him up somewhere near his goal, But the smell of fish innards and bile was starting to take a toll. By the time he’d walked to Nineveh the stench made Jonah sick, But the combination of the message and retching odor seemed to do the trick. Nineveh promised that they’d be better than God could ever conceive, If only Jonah would hurry to the city gate and oh dear God please leave. I guess that old saying is true, the one that people with in-laws tell, That after three days of being around, both fish and prophets smell.

Details | Rhyme | |

I believed I could Fly

I climbed a tall tree one day when I was young Walked out on a branch while staring at the sun Holding onto some limbs I started to bounce up and down Not thinking about the fact that I was twenty feet from the ground So I closed my eyes to really enjoy this new found fun With the warmth on my face of the early morning sun I started thinking about God and perhaps he would allow me to fly So I let go of the limbs I was hanging onto at both sides For a moment I felt a strong embrace that filled me with his love Then down out of the tree to the ground I fell with a thud Everything on my left side was now on my right And I carried this pain with me all through that night I will never forget that day I truely believed I could fly And how thankful to God that I am still alive
Dan Kearley:6-28-11 (4)

Details | Rhyme | |

Mannaburgers And Quail A La King

God gave Moses and his brother Aaron this celestial command:
"I have selected thee to lead My people to The Promised Land!
You'll wander in the wilderness for forty years in the scorchin' sand!
I'll hold you personally responsible to see that nothin' gets outta hand!"

After many plagues, Pharoah was finally convinced to let them go.
There was much singin' and dancin' but the euphoria quickly lost its glow.
The mob grumbled about their first stop, Elim (aka Palm Springs East)!
Miffed because there was no swimmin' pool, golf course or 5-star place to feast!

They complained about bitter water at Marah so Moses struck a stone, and wallah!
A stream of sweet water flowed from the stone more than they could swallah!
They moaned and groaned because they were foot sore and had little to eat,
Complainin' to Moses that they shoulda stayed in Egypt outta the searin' heat!

Heavenly manna descended upon them and they gathered bushel baskets full.
But they tired of mannaburgers, mannastew and mannahelper findin' it rather dull.
They murmured and wanted meat so God provided flocks and flocks of quail.
Still they grumbled - too much quail a la king and at Moses they did rail!

Hapless Moses nearly threw in his staff but God said, "Keep followin' that cloud!
I'm quickly losin' patience with thee and that ungrateful, complainin' crowd!"
So Moses with resolute stride led the Israelites to the land of milk and honey,
Mumblin' to himself, "Damned if I'll do this again for any amount of money!"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Details | Rhyme | |

The Qualities That a True Friend Must Have

What are the qualities that a friend should
have – that which would make a true friend so true?
A friend is one whom you like to be with
while a true friend insists on being with you.

A friend likes you when you have so much in
common. True friends like you who for who you are.
True friends make you feel as though they are at
all times near, although they are very far.

A true friend is one whom you can always
talk to, even at night when it is late -
when loved ones are asleep, a true friend is
always there to hear what you have to say.

Friends like to share, but a true friend always
gives you – not what you want, but what you need.
The feelings you hide, as well as your thoughts,
and your dreams,  a true friend can always read.

A friend may forgive you or they may not
forgive, for something wrong you’ve done to them.
A true friend forgives even when you don’t
ask. True friends forgive - again and again.

Friends are close when you are close to them. A
true friend wants your friendship to be closer.
A true friend does what is best for you, and
hates that you would end up with the losers.

A true friend teaches you lessons to help
you grow – lessons that are hard and easy.
A true friend is always there - having a
true friend can never make you feel lonely.

Friends may sometimes make mistakes, but a true
friend is always careful not to hurt you.
A true friend is a guide and a teacher.
A true friend knows everything you go through.

The true friend I mention is our God,
who kept you company before you were born.
The friendship of God, if you truly keep
and cherish, you will never feel forlorn.

The true friend we all need is God (Allah) –
the One who guides and can teach us lessons,
the One who hears our calls and understands,
the One always near – in every season –

Allah, as a Friend, never judges us
by the way we look and how we appear.
Allah, as a Guide, if we ask Him for
guidance, He guides us and makes our paths clear.

Allah is with us – each day and each night –
He is always there when all are asleep.
Allah always listens when others don’t.
He gives you comfort when He sees you weep.

Fortunate are those who have Allah as
a Friend. Friendship with God is friendship true.
May Allah bless me with His Friendship and
May Allah’s Friendship be shared with you too.


Miriam / Mariam Mababaya

Details | Cowboy | |

Best Ever Saw

Best Ever Saw

I’m gonna tell you a story,
Of the saltiest preacher I know.
The kinda man to charge hell, 
With a hand full of snow.

Now I was stompin out broncs.
For the ranch W M,
Tunin’ up for the rodeo 
That I planed to win.

When this tall talkin’ preacher,
Tells me about all my sin,
And tellin’ me about salvation,
That only with the lord could I win.

So I tells him God never been,
On no killer broncs as these.
Only his counter part,
Can tame the likes of these.

But that ol’ preacher was a believer,
And said God can move mountains,
And only through his word,
Can you find out his plans.

I say’s true nuff,
I believe it’s a fact.
But I get you wouldn’t be so sanctomonios
If you got on catamouts back.

Well now that ol’ preacher
Up and calls my bluff
And toe’s into the sturrip
And settled down with a huff

Now Catamount likes what he does, 
And does it right well.
And I knew this here preacher
Was going to get a real taste of hell

Ol’ Cat knew every trick
Writ in the book
And I’d lay wages to say he’s
The auther if you cared to look

Cat he start out easy to the left
And finishes out to the right
But that preacher sat that saddle 
Jest holdin’ on tight

Then that mean ol’ bronc
Starts curly-wolfin’ it though the field
And I think that preacher 
Knew ol’ Cat would never yield.

Next cat starts a sunfishin’
‘cuz he had new shoes he wanted to show
Oh. By the way they’re Nike’s 
‘case you wanted to know.

But then that preacher was about 
To give up and fall
The Wallmart attendant came out
And unplugged the pony from the wall

That goes to show you 
The Lord works in strange ways
For I see that preacher ever’ week
‘Cuz I goes to church on Sundays.

Details | Light Poetry | |

What Makes You Happy

What makes you happy?
Is it the stars at night?
The sound of the chirping birds?
Or is it because you received a blessing?

Are you happy because your chicken already laid its first egg?
Or because you've been enrolled to a school?
Is it because you've been rewarded a new pair of slippers?
Or because you got what you wanted from the mall?

Are you happy because your mom allowed you to have an ice cream?
Or maybe because your dad brought you to Disneyland?
Is it because life taught you a new game today?
Or because you enjoy some game on your iPod?

Are you happy because you've perfected the taste of your coffee?
Is that grin because of a bet you've won?
So why? Tell me
Is it the fact that there's still fresh air that you're breathing?

Is it because you just finished a novel?
Or because you've composed a song yourself?
Are you glad that you've designed a perfect house for you?
Or because you gave yourself a car?

Are you smiling because of your high grades?
Is it because you made a new friend today?
Do you feel great for having an awesome pet?
Or is it because your family loves you so?

Why are your dimples showing off?
Is it because you feel God's presence?
Or is it because you can now smell justice ahead of you?
Is that what makes you happy?

So what exactly makes you happy?
Who created that rainbow in your eyes?
Are you happy because you feel it?
Or are you just happy because you say so?

Details | Rhyme | |

The Theological Insights Of Archie Bunker

Last Saturday night I dropped by for a few beers at Kelsey's Bar.
Archie Bunker was there, drinkin' beer and chompin' on a nickel seegar,
Expoundin' on religion and his pinko, atheist son-in-law, Meathead!
If you dared to contradict him, he'd tell you right off to drop dead!

"Edith gits her guidance from The Reverend Fletcher but the Bible is my guide!
Now you take Adam and Eve.  She took a bite of apple and to God she lied!
So woman brung about the downfall of man and God got purty sore I hear,
And saith, "Clothe thyselfs in fig leaves and git the 'ell outta here!"

"Meathead said Christ was Jewish - musta been on His mother's side!
But what does that atheist know about such things - God he don't abide!
He don't believe Christ is the Son of God but the Bible says it's so!
To prove that, ever'body gits Christmas off to jubilate as we know!"

"God can do anything, buddy!  He can turn your jawbone into an ass!
Don't listen to nothin' Meathead says about religion - he's so full of gas!
I say God created the world in seven days - Edith said it was six days,
'Cause He rested on the seventh - maybe so - He works in mysterious ways!"

"God don't make no mistakes - that's how He got to be ruler of the universe!
So don't go blamin' Him for your troubles - without Him things could be worse!"
My head was spinning when I left Kelsey's Bar and it wasn't because of the beer!
'Twas Archie Bunker's curious doctrinal insights that brought it on, I fear!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Details | Blank verse | |





Details | Free verse | |

My Mother Part 1

From a distance, she is full of grace
Floating in the air in an angel’s space

Perfectly dressed, not a hair out place
Diction is perfect, she is articulate

Back straight, shoulder’s down
Head back, do not look around

She smell’s of flowers, has skin like silk
Drives a car the color of milk

Educated, debutant, and elite
Recognized everywhere, even on the street

Green paper not an issue
“God Bless You” she will give you a tissue

Family dinners, proper seating
Forks, knives, spoons all know their places

Napkins play a part, before we can begin to start
Only one arm you have when you eat

And, God forbid, you had better be neat!
For this is not a party for dinner

This is an actual event....

My hair is quite chaotic
The clothes on my back make me look like I am going to attack

The color of my car looks like a green vegetable
Educated still trying, proper I want to pop her.

My green paper is made of construction
Utensils, I only use a fork by reason of deduction.

Look, two arms I have “that's neat!” dear God I’m hungry, let’s eat!

Holly P. Moore
October 2012

Details | Rhyme | |

Springtime Wannabe

Sweet pea, Apple blossom, Anemone, Brodea,
Peach blossom, Amaryllis, Delwood, Freesia,
Ranunculus, Calla lily, Bird of Paradise.
I think each of these smell very nice.
Needing more, these are a must.
Gardenia, Hollyhock, Narcissus,
Tulip, Wax flower, Seeded Eucalyptus.
I’m neither gardener nor a green thumb.
Must I say it, I’m rather flower dumb.
Every flower I plant quickly begins to fade.

Where to plant, what to plant, I don’t know the trade.
Alas I try every year to have a great show,
Not a lack of effort, just a lack of know.
Now if you see me in the yard digging in the dirt,
Ask God a prayer for the plants not to hurt.
Because each year I do ask God to forgive me,
Even though I fail, I’m a Springtime Wannabe.

Inspired by the contest Flowers of Spring (not an entry)

Details | Free verse | |


God ! you call yourself god !
If you wanna play god and call yourself god
That’s your business
But you’re no god to us mister !

Details | Haiku | |

Haikus About God: VII

Non-existent God
Subject of poor poetry
Just like this one. Damn.

Details | Verse | |

Cave Men

When and where did they come in
The people they call the Cave Men
T'wern't before Adam, T'wern't before Eve
If in God you do believe.

They have the proof in many lands
These people at one time made their stand,
Pictures in caves of animals huge
Used for clothing as well as food.

They made the spear, they made the knife,
Invented the wheel to ease their life,
But what I don't understand
Where in history did they fit in?

As I recall from Bible lore
The peopled traveled till foot sore
When did they and Cave Man meet?
Was it before Moses crossed the sea?

Was it before Noah's time
When God bade man to walk the line?
If they were among those that drowned
How come their pictures were safe and sound?

There was David and Goliath
The Tower of Babble and Lot's wife,
The Giant Horse at Troy's Gate
Were they there or were they late?

As you can see I am confused
As each day their wheel I use,
I certainly would be oblidged
If only you could ease my mind.

Details | Rhyme | |

I'm Assuming God Was Busy

I stepped into a church today
And I somehow did not burn.
The congregation looked at me
And I at them, in turn.

I then simply started laughing
And I could not stop the flow.
The situation humored me
Far more than they could know.

I expected God to smite me
And to strike me where I stand
For they had always told me that
The church was holy land

Where outright sinners had no place.
For in church good Christians dwell
And being gay is the sure way
To claim a seat in hell.

I’m assuming God was busy.
Or those Christians got it wrong.
Perhaps they boldly told their tales
And strung the world along.

I guess we’ll never know the truth,
But I somehow now surmise
That even God does not believe
In faulty Christian lies.

Details | Lyric | |

Ode to Snow: Snow Week

Verse 1:
I’ve been in my house for way too long
So now I resort to write this song
For all of the people who would agree
To very simple heartfelt plea

Snow please go away.
We hope that you’ll return another day
You’ve outdone your welcome you see
So I hope you will listen to me
                                         Oh please,
Verse 2:
The first day I was amazed to see
That God had given snow to me
The second day I was real surprised
To see that the roads were still real iced
Third day had come my heart was blue
The fear in my mind had just come true
School had been cancelled for the day
So to our God this prayer I laid

“Make the snow go away
We pray you’ll make return another day
Please Lord don’t you see
School is where I really need to be”
                                          Sincerely Me,
Verse 3:
Fourth day a feeling came to me\
Frustration, boredom, and sadness three
Fifth day I ventured to the yard
Seeing the ice was very hard
I couldn’t take that day anymore
So I started season 3 of 24
Maybe this snow would never leave
Until I lose excessive sleep

I can’t stand you snow
Someplace else is where you need to go
My toes are numb I can’t find my brain
I don’t suspect I’ll ever feel them again 

Verse 4:
The sixth day came I was so glad
To get out the house with my dear dad
At the Starbucks I left my purse
Proving I’d lost my mind of course
Tomorrow is Friday a snow day too
I’m hoping the sun will come melt you
Activity low, I am so bored
But now I’ve run of guitar chords

In this house I’ve been for way too long
It’s given me time to write this song
Snow listen to this request I plea
My friends and family would agree
                                              With me…..

Details | Limerick | |

money is not the god that I serve

money is not the god that I serve
for faith in the Lord God is not graded on the curve
God is not concerned with man's window dressings
and He doesn't give a damn about what the world finds impressing
just  trust in Him and he will give you an abundance of blessings
and your soul He will preserve

money is not the god that I desire
for Father God will give me all that I will require
He looks into the minds and hearts of every man
He wants us to live by the spirit of His commands
and once you  become a part of His master plan
the Holy Spirit  you will then acquire

money is not the god that I need to develop a relationship
for only through Jesus Christ will I have passage on that heaven-bound ship
and with only a mustard seed of faith
I will be entering through God's pearly gates
and so joyful that I can hardly wait
for my soul will have had such a great trip

Details | Free verse | |

Kate's Bible Add On

And it came to pass that they ate their dinner
and that she did washeth up.
And she did leave the dishes to drain
Whilst she put on the washing machine.
and the man was very pleased.

And it further came to pass
that she gave the man some pudding
and he was more pleased.
And then it came to pass the he fell asleep
By the fire.

And the Lord God,said
who is this man that sleepeth by his fire?
And he said,I shall waken him up
And the man awoke,
And God spake unto him

How is it that the woman laboureth in ye kitchen.
And that thou sleepeth here in an armchair.
and the man said,
but Thou didst order women to labour.
And the Lord God said unto the man
Why dost Thou remember so selectively what I have said?
And the man said,
I knoweth not and therefore I will help this woman.
And the Lord God said,
Why dost thou not think of it thyself?
And the man said in reply,
It was Thou that made me,O God.

And the Lord God was displeased with the man.
so he called down a plague of butterflies
To prevent him from sleeping.
And when the woman came in
she was much pleased to see these butterflies
and so she fell onto the man
And he did make love unto her.
And the cat was very pleased.

For it thrilled him to watch humans mating
and gave him hope
That the Lord God would take his rib and make a mate for him.
And indeed it doth seem to have happened
Judging by all the cats staring in ye old window here
And by their ecstatic yelps
That the Lord God was very generous with them
and made them many mates.
For truly there is no jealousy among them
And they mate freely and happily
and never have rows about the washing they eat straight from the can.Amen

Here endeth thy lesson for today.

Details | Rhyme | |

A Porcelain God We All Worship At Least Once In Our Lives

We all have a need to worship where we will All sorts of gods we take comfort from still But we all tend to worship the same god at least once in our life And we swear he’s our saviour through out all our strife. We pour out our innermost parts to this God Technicolor sacrifices, our heads bow and nod Arms outstretched and grasping this god of porcelain Supplicated our selves with so little to gain. "Oh God" we hear the cry of worshippers in anguish Praying for their bed so that they can languish Coloured sacrifices from deep within repeated often Cradling this god whose heart does not soften. The wide open mouth sitting with his back against a wall Sometimes we sit on - we like to share our all. But then when we yawn that great coloured yawn Into the chasm praying for death, or praying for dawn. We knew we should never have eaten so well Our eyes were too big, our belly did swell And so to the porcelain God in this room We pray on our knees while fearing our doom. He takes all of our sins and flushes them away Leaving another day where we promise - no way. ©~GG~12/08/2012

Details | Personification | |

Don't Grab the Steering Wheel While God Is Driving

don't grab the steering wheel while God is driving the car
just put your trust in Him that you will travel very far
we have a tendency to pray on things but of them we won't let go
we keep worrying about the problems and won't let God run the show
instead of looking at the Lord we keep looking at the load
we need to keep our eyes on God and not on the road
so don't grab the steering wheel while God is in the driver's seat
just be prepared to remain a passenger until the journey is complete

there's no person too insignificant and there's no problem that's too great
God's always on time, He's seldom early but He never arrives late
so just sit back and enjoy the road trip that is your life
and place all in the hands of your mechanic Jesus the Christ
don't worry if you get a flat Father God has a spare in the back
and don't worry if you run out of gas the Holy Ghost has a full spiritual flask
and don't fret if you happen to a make a wrong turn
just consider it a lesson in life that you've learned

don't grab the steering wheel while God is driving the SUV
just make sure you have on your seat belt for the road of life tends to be bumpy
you won't need a navigational system nor a GPS
just trust in God to steer you safely through all of your mess
don't worry about the insurance and you've already passed inspection
just don't try to be a back seat driver and give God any directions
the road of life may twist and turn down some valleys and over some dales
but as long as you stay prayerful you might miss that exit going to hell
and if you get stuck in traffic there's no need to feel overwhelmed
be anxious over nothing remember God is at the helm

so hand over the keys to your life and let God take the wheel
and believe He will guide you towards those eternal Elysian Fields
so don't grab the steering wheel while Father God is driving the van
He'll get you to your final destination according to His master plans

Details | Prose Poetry | |


      Let’s just call each other  Ra and Nut  ok?  
      No need to be formal here behind the pyramid.
      I tell you, Nut, I don’t mind having the job as top god  in Egypt.
      After all it’s better than being rain-god in this desert.  
      But those hieroglyphic guys spoil it all. I just don’t get no respect.

Tell me about it , Ra, they rain on my parade too
      Like, I’m supposed to be in charge of the sun,  right?
      (In Egypt that’s an easy job).  And I kinda like you as my granddaughter, Nut
      (no disrespect, but you  really  are a nut).  
      Man, this  body-of-a-human-and-head-of-a-falcon crap has  
      Slowed me down.   I can’t fly  - body’s too heavy,  not aerodynamic as they say;
      I can’t ogle the ladies -  those falcon  eyes are too unfriendly. . . . .   

Hey fella,  that beak kinda suits you. . . .  bet you can crack peanuts dead easy, right?
     Don’t interrupt the sun god ok?   So  I married Ratet  and we had a daughter Hathor,
     And you,  Nut,  are  a descendant  through  Hathor.
     By the way, it’s no wonder they call you Nut  -   with all that incest. 

Can I get a word in edgeways Ra?. . . . . . . . Yeah,   I got given the  craziest name - 
A  boy named Sue?  - Ok;   but a girl named Nut?!      I guess my god-job  is ok     
(I’m  in charge of resurrection and rebirth – and that’s a job for life.)
(Oh  c’mon. . . . . Joke there, Ra baby,  chill out  man.)    So  I  married  
My brother Geb ( almost as bad as marrying your dad. . . .don’t get me started)
But Ra you’re right, the hiero-guys spoil it.     They  draw me  with blue skin,  
with the body of a woman and the head of a cow.  I mean. . . .  a freakin cow!
      I’ve seen those drawings, I thought they were an improvement on reality.

Like, who can read a  line which goes  “cat man meets dog-bird and wheat-and-corns  
him along the road to a lion-ship in water with a blue starry cow? 
Those hiero-guys should’ve been sacked long ago. 
(They say the Greeks have sacked their hieros, and use alphabets).
     Sounds good,  Nut  (excuse me smirking when I use your name).
     And what the hell does ”falcon-head guy ogles red-sheep flower-girl”  suggest,
     Especially if she is “flying her chariot with two giant fish” at the same time? 
     No, I reckon those hiero-guys have gotta go. Get me the phone number of those 
     Greek alphabet geezers, will you, Nut  (smirk again). . . . . . No respect. . . . . . 

Details | Free verse | |

Cleaning Day

I think that God had intended
For Spring cleaning.
After all, he intended for doors
To light dark corners,
The spiders to spin webs 
Along the walls..
The dust collecting 
On the surfaces,
The bird's song 
As an incentive 
To keep working.
The tiny sqeak
Of cleaning windows,
The allure
Of a newly made bed,
With my puppy by my pillow...
The crisp, clean look
Of a newly painted wall,
And the soft feel 
Of new carpet on your toes..
The clean smell
Of newly hung laundry, 
But most of all...
I think God had intended 
For Spring cleaning
As a darn good reason

Details | I do not know? | |

Seeing from Upstairs and Downstairs.......

She is on downstairs worrying about her man
He is on upstairs busy with other girls
To her he is the perfect lover
To him she is just the one among the many

Her world rolls around his thoughts
Her days are colorful like rainbows
Her world was such a tiny one
she never knew she lived in illusions

His world is big enough
To hold all the pretty girls
He never cried for losing one
When he lose one he gets two other new ones  

She never tried to cheat her man 
Even in her wild dreams she was a virgin
He is smart enough to convince everyone
He doesn't have any other girls

She is very innocent and faithful
She thinks his man is faithful too
Every minutes in his life is joyful
Every time he had someone with him

She prayed hard for his well being
She thanked God for giving him
He prayed everyday for more fresh girls
He thanked God for hearing his prayer

Her world is so small
It can hardly hold her and her man alone
She never saw the outside world
I wish she can see what's really happening...

Details | Blank verse | |

the god of fire

The God of fire
It took him twenty years
to write his novel.
Twenty refusals later 
he gave the manuscript 
to the fire which
greedily absorbed it. 
A phone call from nowhere,
send us another novel.
It took twenty more years 
to write a new book
and the god Agni 
burnt his hands. 
As a thank you.
Success at last he cried 
to a man with a yellow helmet
carrying an axe.

Details | Free verse | |

Why is God a Man?

Why is God a Man?

Being a menopausal woman really sucks. At night, it’s like having a wrestler in bed with you 
without the sex. When you flash you wrestle the covers off because you feel like you’re going 
to spontaneously combust. When the flash is over you wrestle them back on since you’ve 
gone from sweating profusely to the ice queen. And what is sleep? I used to remember, 
but it’s been so long that I’m going back to school to re-learn how.

And why the heck do they call it menopause? It has nothing to do with men. Oh sure, men 
have to put up with we suicidal women when we’re going through this so called “natural 
progression of aging” but, during this time it’s the men who pause and say, ” My wife has lost 
her mind. She's frantically running around the house begging me to throw ice water on her 
before she bursts into flames.” 

After all, During menopause, everything dries up (and I mean that literally). It’s like 
someone took a wet vac and sucked all the moisture out of our skin, hair and other 
unmentionable places. And as far as sex is concerned, KY Jelly becomes your best friend, for 
without it there’s just no getting in. And what is a sex drive? We wish we could remember, 
but our minds are drying up too. Oh, I remember now. It’s all about the drive. That is, 
driving to the mall to go shopping. Now that’s a turn on. After all, who wants to have sex with 
a dried up woman’s body whose parts have all gone south? I guess that explains why we’re 
hot all the time. When our parts go south our body gets hotter. It’s like your body’s in Florida 
without living there. We do take small trips up north when the flashes subside, but 
unfortunately our body parts don’t.  

We try to workout, but someone needs to come up with a workout with minimal effort as the 
slightest movement causes us to pee ourselves. So if you want to make the most of your 
workout, go buy Depends. You still pee, but they keep you dry along with your skin and hair. 

Oh, and did I mention the bouts of uncontrollable crying? Your husband asks you why you’re 
crying and you tell him it’s all his fault because he’s going about his merry way while you’re 
slowly going insane. They can't empathize when they have no freaking idea what’s going 

So I’ve come to the conclusion that all women who make it through menopause have earned 
their place in heaven because they’ve already lived through hell on earth. To all my 
menopausal women friends out there. . . .

Details | Rhyme | |

Dentist (footles)

tooth ache
                nerves shake
                                  dentist drilling
                                                      tooth filling
                                                                     Gum  numb
                                                                                     works done. 

     ****** ******************************************************

This footle is different from my other posts but based on a true story 
I went to the dentist last year  and she said  I needed two fillings but on one tooth she then  
said the 
hole was too deep to fill and would have to be taken out, I panicked and  said no I dont 
think so as i was scared at that time as my mother pulled some loose teeth when I was little 
with a towel, , I went for prayer at church afterwards.  I found  a new dentist and when I  
explained what happened he looked at my tooth and said their is no hole, he took an x ray 
and still no hole, it was gone, I did not need a filling in the first place, that other dentist was 
willing to take it out for the sake of it, but God was still looking after me, I took a step of faith 
to step out and go to a new dentist and God did the rest, it is amazing what he can do, we 
can move mountains even if our faith is as small as a mustard seed. if we trust God  and 
believe he can sort out any problem either big or small , he heals us  I am no longer scared 
of dentists  and I still have all my  teeth not  a single one missing, , Amen

Details | Rhyme | |

I Took Some Time With God

I Took Some Time To Spend With God…

I took some time to spend with God alone.
I asked for his blessing in my life and home!

I took some time to tell him that I love him!
I know that he listened and I can trust him!

It seems like yesterday I was a young boy.
There were many things I wanted to enjoy!

I enjoyed prayer with my lord and friend!
I felt his joy and peace within!

I didn’t realize how busy life would be…
I thought less of God,..  And more of me!

I’m thankful that I know a God who cares!
He’s never too busy for a moment to share!

He has blessed and renewed my mind!
He’s always so patient, loving and kind!

Thank you Jesus for the time we have together!
I’m looking forward to being with you forever!

You are the one that I will daily seek!
I need your direction each day of the week!

All praise and honor to you. is what I give!
I won’t forget you each day I shall live!

You’ve blessed and strengthened my life today!
You’re the truth, the life, and the way!

I shall sing of your praises with pure delight!
I know now that things in my life will be alright!

By Jim Pemberton

Details | Free verse | |


When in Paris do as Romans do where pardon me I lost my Latin there                 
What is love truly like not to quench the stereo type                                                  
in clicks and cliche's let us count the ways from one liner's to hopefully the refiner      
My face my mother has good taste grace please do not waste                                  
Faint hearted love does not hurt only a shallow flirt                                                  
Fair love not everything goes in rules of the court                                                      
Next to you sugar taste like salt I wronged you it's my fault                                  	   
In small houses best not to hurt the one                                                                      
but forgive least that be turned to stone                                                               
Love thy neighbor a gift from above do not throw stones or live in                        
glass houses when push comes to shove                                                                   
A many splendored thing not a splintered thing with kid's glove                            
One size fits all comfortably when God is your Love                                                     
For the Love of God is the truth better than the kisses of an enemy a rebuke             
To love immeasurably the only measure to set us free is His pleasure                   
Love has everything to do with Love and contrary                                                        
to the other opposites do not attract well rarely                                                        
So when your bow you are a singing love is not blind just forgiving                           
So quit playing cards save your money and love your wife                                   
looking for one choose words carefully ask a right                                                    
one will return as with promises, doves and ravens                                                   
one is wise but the other a safe haven                                                                       
If you will and if it pleases how do I spell love  JE SUS

Details | I do not know? | |

Lose The Weight !

Just as though a person will train in the natural/
God wants us to use his talent in the supernatural !
A thought to ponder,

Many years ago/
A very noble poet had penned,
"The pen is mightier then the sword !"
Yet what was his richest reward ?
This came not from the things given to him by men !

One man had prayed long to God for help/

He went to the doctor,
Shortly after the doctor stated, His prognosis was grim !"
Lose the weight or your going to die !"

In return the man worked out everyday;
Even started working on his tan,
All of a sudden, the man started looking and feeling great !
Time had passed and he was crossing the street one day,
Suddenly he got hit by a car !

In the return the man prayed to the Lord again;

"Where were you God ?"
His reply was,
Frankly with that tan Sam, I didn't quite recognize you !
As the pen was to the sword/

Learn to pull forward to earn God's greatest reward !
One word to the wise,
"Read your bible and stay away from all of Satan's lies !"

The moral of the story may be strange but true !
That God isn't ever through with you !

Details | Light Poetry | |

Only God Knows

"Hi hon, I'm home!
Hey what are all our friends doing here?!"
Hello dear, there's something I forgot to mention.
We are all here for your intervention.
Come in, come in! Where have you been?
"I stayed late at work to write some prose.
Hon, it was really cool and entitled "Only God Knows"!"
Well you see dear, that's why we're all here.
You are a poetry freak and in denial, with a pen fettish!
"Gimme back my pen and no I'm not, at least not yettish!"
No dear? Then why is there a poem written
on the toilet paper roll?
"That's simple, hon, I had no paper while there, 
and it looked like a scroll."
What is that strange spot of ink doing on your hand?
"I had an idea about a poem for us,
so I marked it near my wedding band."
Why do you have to write some poems
NOW in so much of a hurry?
"Because, sometimes they flow through me, not from me,
so don't you all worry,
when I get inspired, I get wired."
But then dear, just where does it come from,
this inspiration that flows?
"Don't you  see, hon? That's what I've been trying to tell you !
..Only God Knows!

Details | Rhyme | |

I'd Rather Live in His World

It was off to work again as I do each day
Early in the morning when I get to pray
All alone on the road I just sing His praise
Thinking of what is owed for my feeble ways

My station was off air as I scanned the dial
But remaining self aware all of the while
Of how I have fallen so many times in the past
Not able to hear His calling in moving too fast

If I had only stayed and never left His Side
Oh how this weighed in drowning in such pride
I just wasn't very strong in making my way
And then came the song as I caught it in mid play

"I'd rather live in His world, then live in my world without Him"

So true was that phrase summing up my entire thought
I so often see His ways and more often than naught
So I turned back on the radio and,,, there's no need to worry
As it's Unconditionally (whoa) you know by Katy Perry 

Details | Quatrain | |


The wrath of God doesn’t have to be
the size of a hurricane
nor a major flood or forest fire
to leave us all in pain.

It can be an itch or an annoying twitch
a big black hair on your nose
painfully shy or one crossed eye
it’s terrible to have one of those.

Ugly or clumsy or not very smart
we all have our cross to bear
mismatch your socks get chicken pox
or forget your underwear.

Cowlicks birthmarks and knobby knees
all conspire to bring us down,
crooked teeth big ears and zits
are here to make us frown.

With a squeaky voice you don’t rejoice
and bad breath is problematic
as is hobbling on a cane
when you have a sore sciatic.

Oh Dear Lord just look at me!
a melting pot of woes!
As a kid I made a face
and wouldn’t you know…it froze!

What will we do with these gifts from you
bestowed on us in your wrath?
As we complain down here in our shame
do you sit on a cloud and laugh?

But then God said as he shook his head;
“My child I love you so..
these minor things that set you apart
are here to help you grow.”

Details | I do not know? | |

Live for sound

As the faucet drips and the wind chimes tink.
As the pendulum swings, I sit and think.
Such a wonderful God to give us sound.
It's something that makes the world go round.
From listening to ocean waves crash all day.
To laughing children enjoying the games they play.
So when you lay in bed to hear your house groan.
Thank God for sound, helping you feel a little less alone.

Details | Epic | |


as we celebrate that glorious event known as Palm Sunday
what do you think that donkey Jesus rode would have to say?
to ride on a donkey was once regarded as a symbol of peace
a state that we in this modern era just can't seem to reach
but I'm so glad that I serve a God of peace and harmony
and I'm so glad that He sent His Son Jesus to save me

Jesus came into town riding on an untamed ass
the people were so joyful they threw palm leaves across His path
but He was not the type king that they expected
and before the week was out by them He was rejected
I often wondered what was on the mind of that untamed beast
on the day that Jesus rode him into the midst of that feast
never before to have been ridden by any type of being
so what do you think that donkey was spiritually receiving?
the Gospel according to an ass
to know that the Prince of Peace has come at last

God has a plan for each of us and it's full of His mercy and grace
but in order to receive it you need to be in the right place
positioned for your purpose you just need to be
in that place where of you the Lord our God can see
for when God is ready to move in your life you need to be found
in the right place at the right time standing on higher ground

Jesus needed that beast at that appointed hour
and it was positioned by Father God's almighty power
its destiny to be ridden by Jesus the Christ the Son
a triumphant symbol of peace because its time had come

a donkey is usually perceived as difficult, stubborn and headstrong
but is an intelligent beast just don't lead it in a way that is wrong
they have a sense of perception and self-preservation
are very easy to train just don't put it in a precarious situation
it was sure-footed and purposely positioned in the right place
the Gospel according to an ass to be ridden with God's saving grace

it was a kyros moment it was a sight to be seen
on the  back of an ass Jesus the Christ, the King of Kings
in the right place with the proper perspective positioned for its purpose at last
and that is the Gospel according to an ass

Details | I do not know? | |

God's Grace (2002)

He can’t do miracles in front of your face,
So he sent you to do them through in his place,
That’s the only way you see God’s grace.

When someone helps you through the struggle life can bring,
Its God that protects you under his wing.

Helping me may have been just a job to fulfill,
But to me it was God’s will.

A journey of struggle, But I eventually won,
From the bottom of my heart I thank you for all you have done,
Thank you God for sending me Ethan.
(For my tutor Ethan)

Details | Sonnet | |

Tea Pot

I believe a tea pot circles the solar system.
And within that tea pot is my genie God.
The God that hears all our petty prayers.
The God the made the birds, bees and frogs.

My genie God spit into clay and made you
from the potter’s clay that made His tea pot.
He formed humankind, all the animals,
the plants, His light makes the sun hot.

I believe everyone should pray to my genie God.
He simply made us just like He made His pot.
He made you because He loves you and created
you. He listens to your every thought. 

And if you fail to believe in my genie God,
you will burn in Hell or live life as a frog.

Details | Free verse | |


We each must believe in something to exist

Whether self is king or that in certain vice
To delegate a chance or that in some roll of the dice
Some our content in stoic & mundane
Wile others our frankly mentally insane

For the mighty God has done great things for me

Within pivotal yet fruitless gain or from borrowed chase
A reckless abandonment to an empty corpse shell
An angelic fervor of sorted chasm intact 
For stregnth comes in like a flood

Just suppose we just faintly disagree
This does not negate the real fact of spiritual equality
We each represent a stoic source in truth
Yet devided we sore vex call it a viable truce

Through a barrage in ample demonstrative approach to appease

For the mighty God has done great things for me
With painted stone freshly on the outside patio decorum intact
Tolerance is never an issue anymore
Set in stone its attributes deminish through a slight in hand

Hoping that someday soon we will surely live to understand

For the mighty God has done great things for me
With his mercies endure from age to age
Through frolic in twilight pasture
In ardent song within its smoked filled room laughter

This in effect prepares no one for the great here after?

Details | Carpe Diem | |

Intoxication or Inspiration?

And may you be not drunk with wine
But filled with the spirit as God divined

As humans we've all have had a little drink or two
That's not a bad thing as long as you don't overdo
In Ephesians 5:18 from what I understand 
It's a word of advice from God, a positive Command
For the word of God leaves little room for debate
Take Him at His word It Is of the faith
But don't try to take the actual words that are written
And change them to suit yourself that's a bad decision
For God is very firm in what He does say
He says what He means and from His word He does not stray

Intoxication or Inspiration, what do you desire?
Be not drunk with wine just do as God requires
The Lord God wants you to be filled with the Holy Spirit
So praise and worship Him and don't stop until you get it

Whenever one is under the influence of drink
You're at a weak point and the devil will start to think
He will try and sway you away from God's Holy word
Make you doubt and question all that you have heard
For drink will incapacitate you and make you act like a fool
Enabling the devil to use you as a tool

Be not drunk with wine but be inspired by The Lord
Be filled with The Holy Spirit on the gospel train get aboard
With The Holy Spirit you still have free choice
But while you're drunk on wine you can't even find your voice

Intoxication or Inspiration, what is the main point?
You can be damned with the devil or with God be anoint
God wants you to walk like His Son Jesus of Christ
To be filled with The Holy Spirit everyday of your life
Intoxication may cause you to fight with your friends
Inspiration will give you eternal life in the end
Intoxication may cause you to spend all of your money
Inspiration will lead you to the land of milk and honey
As far as I'm concerned the choice is not that hard
All you have to do is get high on God

Details | Free verse | |



I have this like conundrum, 
A choice 
and probably a problem with either one or one million complaints
As I curse the portrait this universe paints
With the blood of those in turbans atop
And no matter how loud I scream the world won’t stop
nor accept and live with people who are willing to be tender
The world has always been a world of trouble for me
And if John Doe had problems they would double for me
Perhaps it’s because I seem vulnerable enough to ache from whatever the universe throws in my direction
unable to make any  correction
nor connection
And watch the hills to tumble as mountains turn to mud and clay……
 © 2011.….Phreepoetree ~free cee!~

Ah, but that was yesterday
Today God surveyed the universe as it is
             And always was 
and shall always be
seeking beauty beholden to no one the Lord hath created creatively
It was most shapely in form
Far from the norm
Rich in royalty with a countenance divine
And now I see the universe as a vintage cask of wine
A world wherein we fear not my dear
A land of luxury where the sky is always clear my dear
No clouds to blur the beauty of the one that God had chosen well
No hurt, no pain, no misery from the cradle from which i fell

Children are free to be children and have no need for a locating device
And for peace there is never any price
Everything is everyone’s to share
To care
To bare the weight should it find the shoulders of a soldier
And it matters not as we  are ordered to slowly become older
God’s hand came down and chose the one with beauty beyond one’s due
God’s hand came down and picked an angel to be you
                © 2011.…..~free cee!~



Details | Didactic | |

Don't Let The Stuff You Get, Get You

we all have worldly possessions, we all have some stuff
those material things of which we can't seem to get enough
you never realize how much stuff you've got until you have to move out
an overabundance of possessions, the stuff you can't seem to do without

eventually you'll be separated from your stuff and it will be separated from you
for when you finally leave this earth don't think you can take it too
somebody else will be rocking in your chair and  watching your HDTV
somebody else will now have all that stuff on which you spent all your money
your children won't treat any of your stuff the same as you would
so don't let the stuff  you get get you for in the end it won't do you any good

one day my son invited me over to see his new apartment
and while there he gave me a drink and then made a strange comment
he said "dad, you'll need a coaster so don't put that wet glass on my table"
I told him "what about all of MY stuff that he's destroyed since the day he left his cradle"
you need to develop a duck's oily back mentality
and let the little annoyances in life roll off of thee

one day while Jesus was speaking a parable, a young man did interrupt
he wanted Jesus to talk to his brother about sharing their father's stuff
Jesus said, "Who told you that I have come here to judge,
My purpose for being is to speak life to you, I'm not here to settle a grudge"
mankind has developed a condition, a sin known as greed
for an abundance of  possessions, the stuff we think we need
but that is not the major problem that most men do possess
it's that they're not humbled enough to give God His proper address

people tend to forget that all they have comes from God's mercy and grace
they tend to think that they're the ones in control in the first place
if you're over-bearing, self-centered and disdainful you'll be labeled a foolish man
if you don't learn to give honor, glory and thanks to God for His righteous hands
for no man has the authority to assume he's in control
not even the richest or the smartest man can save his own soul
not even the poorest or the dumbest man can circumcise his own heart
people need to understand that all the glory belongs to the Lord God

so don't let the stuff you get get you, all those things you possess
remember you can't take it with you and it won't make your testimony progress
so don't be selfish about your stuff and to  God be arrogant and rude
remember He's in control of everything and He does not suffer fools


Details | Personification | |


It is our god that gives us life
He brings us comfort in times of pain
And even pride among our peers.
He does not ask, we freely give
Our time, our money, our sense of being
Shameless nights we share with him
Secrets of a life unseen
Words unspoken -Bold as ink
None can see my god and me
He seems so tough, hard to relate
But he has blessed me to create
From distance he is like all else.
When eyes peer deeper, as close as mine
His off white beauty calls aloud,

Details | Light Poetry | |

Don't You Dare Flunk Heaven

The boss wanted us to sign up for an organ donor card,
It would look good for publicity, Mr. Sanders said,
Next morn, found man in charge, got card - was'nt hard,
But that night, had 2nd thoughts about Godly dead,
After talking to spouse and son-in-law,
If you are called, you should come up, Archie said,
That night, had bad dream about his quick demise,
Driving friend's cab to heaven - foot like lead,
But mad Docs in back, one jerked out liver & eyes,
He too, lost his hands and feet - hey, watch it guys,
After this, had visions of former Earthly domain,
His hands picked pockets, feet ran away from a crime,
He watched his eyes watch porn with a lot of pain,
After this, finally reached heaven - uphill all the way,
Parked, got out - God was there & was real mad that day,
For Arch had not all his organs, which was not Gods' way,
Woke yelling & his spouse put on the light,
You are white as a ghost & sweating - something not right,
Told about his dream, organs, God & mad Doctor men,
You would be scared too, if you had just flunked heaven!

Details | Light Poetry | |

He Preached That Last Year

when the Pastor stepped up to the pulpit and then started to preach
someone in the congregation stood up and then screeched
"Pastor, I'm sure you preached that last year,
 we all need to here something new up in here"
I thought to myself that was not right
for every sermon and scripture have different insight
it's not the actual words you must learn
but the message from the Spirit  you must discern

so the Pastor continued on with his talk
told that church member "be quiet and do not balk,
for the words that I speak to you this day
if you but listen and learn may affect you another way
yes, I might have spoken from this same scripture
but the spiritual message may give you a whole new picture
if  the words and the sermon seem familiar in your mind
maybe the Spirit is trying to tell you, you didn't get it the first time"

there are many people who fail to see and understand 
that the word of God is universal to each and every man
as we all don't hear and comprehend just the same
but we know the power of the message is that God does reign

so if you ever hear someone use the same speech
don't be rude and tell them you've already heard them preach
just maybe there's a reason why YOU are still sitting there
for if the message does not penetrate NOW, maybe you'll get it next year

Details | Narrative | |

I Hold No Fear

Tomorrow comes and oh God how it goes!
Do I care, why should I lend all of my spares? 
I’ll never know what tomorrow holds!
“Oh my”, how could I, what is it that I need to do?
Blessed by God, sure he loves me but what about you?
Why today and why tonight I really don’t care! 
I know that I love me no matter what my eyes can see!
Take it all but hold the very last thought that we share! 
My God, My God how I hope you all know what it is that you truly believe!
“Oh my”, capture and redeem my mind!
Complete my being that lives alive inside of me!
God you love me, these eyes have no doubt with that which they can see!
“God”, you know you have done all of this to me! 
Oh how you have loved these things that I can see!
Sheltered, protected, yet, condemned by that which I know you believe!
If I could, I think that I would, but oh God how I do stand here!
Come and get me with all of that, which I know you believe! 
Please God, just come take my all of me! 
I am still here my Lord and I hold no fear!
Tomorrow, hmm just another day for me to believe!
Oh well! Guess I’ll just have to see it through!
Ask me anything and I will tell you! 
I think we all know what it is that we should do!
Escaping the reality of what really should be, 
Oh God, I am so very here do you know what tomorrow will be? 
I’m still here my Lord and I am holding absolutely no fear!
Each morning the Sun rises to approach a brand new day. 
No doubt that I do love me!
Embraced with the thought that you have come just for me, 
I’m engulfed with this moment that I have finally achieved.
Oh my, I know that I could because I am coming to you. 
Where are you my Lord I just need to be so very near!
God you do love me! Oh how I knew that you always would! 
I’ve walked so many miles with you each and every single day, 
And I am still right here my Lord and I hold no fear!


Details | Narrative | |


people's lives would be less chaotic and probably more sane
if on the road of life they would just stay in their lane
one shouldn't try to preach the gospel if from God you didn't get a calling
and you shouldn't attempt to go mountain climbing if you have a fear of falling
you need to stay out of the kitchen if you don't know how to cook
and don't aspire to be a fisherman if you're too squimish to bait the hook
don't dream about being a model if you can't even hold a pose
and don't take the sanitation worker's test if you have a sensitive nose
forget about becoming a doctor if at the sight of blood you pass out
and don't try to be a therapist until you know what you're talking about
God gave each of us His love, free will and a functioning brain
so find that vehicle that's just for you and learn to stay in your lane

stay away from a law enforcement career if you're too scared to carry a gun 
and a firefighter is not the job for you if into a burning building you're not willing to run
you might not make a good writer if you don't know how to spell
and being a referee is not your thing if you don't know when to ring the bell
don't strive to be a Navy seal if you don't know how to swim
and being a seamstress might not be up your alley if you don't how to sew a hem
and when you find yourself in a job that doesn't fit you have only yourself to blame
for you went against what God had in mind for you and you didn't stay in your lane

you might be a bettter long distance runner even though you wanted to be a sprinter
your game might be more powerful as a forward and not being the team's center
you'd probably be more successful doing the backstroke instead of being a high diver
and you might be more effective as an instructor and not a NASCAR driver
you might be a better player for the team as a tight end and not a running back
even though it's been your life long desire to be the team's quarterback
and your life might be more fulfilling if you go on to become a school teacher
and don't think that everyone you see in the pulpit was meant to be a preacher
so while driving on the road of life try to stay in between those white lines
and then seek the Kingdom of God first and you'll probably do fine
search inside yourself for that unique gift from God that has only your name
and in whatever vehicle in life you drive just make sure you stay in your lane

Details | Blank verse | |

This is what I sing

Thank you God for loving me
Help me be more Jesusee
Help me do the things you like
Morning, noon all through the night
Thank you God for loving me
Help me be more Jesusee

Details | Ballade | |

House Of The Rising Bun

"There is a house in New Orleans,
They call it "Cafe One"
And it's been the home of
Many a cinnabun,
And God knows I don't want another one,

My father was a baker,
Baked many a blueberry pie,
My mother was a coffee freak,
And I know not why....

Now the only thing a baker needs,
Is an apron, an oven, and a paste gun,
To spend his time in the kitchen heat,
I know it can't be fun

He's got one spatula in the dough bowl,
And an oven mitt on the other one,
He bakes his Pillsbury Dough Boys,
And it's hotter than the sun...

There is a cafe in New Orleans,
They call it "Cafe One",
And God knows, I'm sick as hell,
Of every Cinnabun,
I think I ate a ton."

With apologies to Eric Burdon and the Animals.

Details | Rhyme | |

Animated Answering Machine

Yo! this GOD
You most likely calling
Cause time don got hard
You either got yourself put in jail
Got send to hell
Or maybe things just not going so well  
But I’ll hear you out anyway
If you got seriously injured
Trying to be a hero press zero
If you want forgiveness
For what you’ve done
Then press one 
If you got a life changing situation
To make and you don’t know what to do
Then press two
If you want to be more like me
But you’re a he/she
Then press three
If you’ve been masturbating or fornicating
And woke up with a purplish sore
Then press four
If you’re barely breathing
Barely alive
Then press five
If you’re currently being beaten
With sticks
Then Press six 
If your want salvation to get in heaven
Press seven
To find a GOD fearing soul mate or date
Then Press eight
If your calling to thank GOD and
Everything is fine
Then Press nine
If none of your concerns have been on the count down
Press pound
But if you’re really tried of this 
Press the Asterisk 
And your call will be sent to the next available  
Divinitive representative
If you’re calling to ask GOD for some money to barrow
100 year is only a day to GOD
So hold your breath if he says 
He’ll call you tomorrow   
If you can’t get thought and you on crack
Please hang up and call back

Details | Rhyme | |

Where's the Money?

Where’s the money I often say,
for the stack of bills I have to pay.

Work all day and through the night,
only to receive a paycheck that is light. 

Blood, sweat, and countless tears,
as the money quickly disappears.

Unfortunately there is never enough,
Which makes times quite tough.

Seems those who will lie and cheat in a flash,
have a never ending supply of cash.

But I strive to be a God fearing man,
living as clean and honest as I can.

So I wonder what I have to do,
or what must I go through.

Will I ever be able to get ahead,
before I am too old or even dead.

Never will I be a millionaire,
But God knows my every need and care.

Although where’s the money is what I say,
I know the answer is to fervently pray.