These Food Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Food. These are the best examples of Food Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets
Oh, nicker. Oh, nacker.
I broke my poor cracker
While putting it in my soup.
I just wanted a nibble,
But the soup had to quibble,
And thus all my plans turned to poop.
So now I'm here sittin'
A poor man quite smitten
With no other crackers to spare,
On soup that's unlawful,
So twisted and awful,
That it kills with no thought and no care.
Why can't it relate,
And learn not to hate,
My crunchy, crisp wafers of bread,
It would have much more fun
Not to mention for one,
My crackers won't all end up dead.
I suppose it’s too much
To ask soup for such
A commitment to love other food.
But till its attitude mends,
And it learns to make friends,
I believe that my crackers are screwed.
"I can’t find the words I want to say! “
Under the moonbeam and sparkling scattered stardust,
I can feel the dew, which surpasses through the night.
As I speak to you in tongue, this stale flavor becomes overdone.
A taste of what is behind them luscious ludicrous lips.
I finally ask!
“Do you not feel what I feel?
Can you not feel my heart hesitating and holding hectically?
Addressed with attach anticipation on your side!
It is my hesitation, to answer with, “Please?”
The dwelling night disappears, underneath my deepen darken days,
In which makes every day, another night to come.
The wondering and whining worsens a little more.
I ache for seconds more, than my mind begins to mend.
The mornings keep approaching fast, the silences breaks!
Shattered scattered splattered words, finally released.
You start to nurture up around your notable noble nearsighted eyes.
For I have starved, just about all I can take.
Master of this crying slave…
“Your perception burns, the prescription, of persuasive deception.”
Your inacceptable improper intention cannot heal me now!
Leaving an awkward awareness feel, which lingers to the lustiness’, lost inside of me.
With a wallow with a swallow, soaping and spiting the sight of you.
Meanwhile your thoughts focus on the painful pulsating pleasure.
You will unleash on me…
For leaving all the crummy crumbling crumbs under our silver satin sheets.
I will be smacking and snaking surrendering and yielding, yearning at your will.
Please Master Can I have another, Cracker in bed~~ ?
“The finest poetry
is the most feigning.”
Smelling scent soothe my soul
Sits in sleek oven
Smile so nicely
Saliva pours for
© Joseph, November 2, 2008
© All Rights Reserved
Semi finalist contestant
292 out of 887 submissions
June 1, 2009 International Contest
Joseph S. Spence, Sr., is the author of "The Awakened One Poetics" (2009), which is
published in seven different languages. He invented the Epulaeryu poetry form, which
focuses on succulent cuisines and drinks. He is published in various forums, including the
World Haiku Association; Poetinis Druskininku, Milwaukee Area College, Phoenix Magazine;
Möbius Poetry, and Taj Mahal Review to name a few. Joseph is a Goodwill Ambassador for
the state of Arkansas, USA, a college faculty, and a military veteran.
Must make haste
Time for "waste"
C hocolate Candy Emmmm what a treat.
H as sweet ingrediants that can't be beat.
O h what delight to put in our mouth and eat.
C hocolate a passionate lovers sweet. (
O nly the lonely will not eat this meat. (
L overs who Love chocolate will find this neat. ^
A ll chocolate will cause lovers to stay in heat. & &
T ake your time and savor this candy. % %
E ach one of you knows it makes you randy. @@@@@
K issing with chocolate covered lips is bliss.
I n your mouth each tongue will entwine with a kiss.
S o get yourself some chocolate today.
S weet chocolate candy will help you to play!
So you want to get to know me,ok well here goes
It's already in my poetry,but I may have left something out who knows?
For the last twenty years I've been wearing Nike shoes,hightops that are black
They're alot easier to clean then white ones I must say,that is a definite fact
My friends all seem to like me and I greet them all with a big smile
I've met alot of them through a life of partying,but now thats been over for a while
My favorite book is the bible,because whenever I read it I learn something new
My favorite movie I couldn't really tell you,since I have seen oh quite a few
My favorite song is from Tim Mcgraw,it's"Live Like You Were Dying"
In a funny kind of way it refreshes my soul,and I usually end up crying
Favorite singer I don't really have one,so I guess it would have to be myself
Because I just love it when I sing all the words and don't need anyones help
My hair is a dirty blond thats straight,short and very fine
It doesn't have a single curl and I know it's all still mine
My favorite shampoo is Pert it leaves my hair so silky smooth
With the fine and thining hair that I have,it's the one I prefer to use
My favorite food is pizza,but fresh baked bread is my favorite smell
If I had a food I'd eat everyday that is the one that would put me through hell
I have everything I need,with only a few things that I dislike
The only thing I want or really need is the love of my loving wife
Contest:All About ____???
There once was a girl from Arizona
Who could only fit in a kimona
She vowed to lose some weight
But loved all kinds of cake
Even drawn by pumpkin cake's aroma
She vowed that she would be stronger
Would wear kimonos no longer
With cotton up her nose
From the table arose
Now in leggins she does saunter
Sponsor: Gwendolin R.
Contest:A Limerick In My Pocket
It was a time ov thirst, crepuscle zearchin,
the Count in dark, becharmed her every secret zeal;
vatever aappened to his favoroured virzzin?
Vatever aappened to his crimson meal?
My bite I'll hold to thine exquisite neck,
(In Transylvania I'm vaiting, auspicious maid) ,
vas told that virzzins vaporized from earth,
and so evil vampires will stay thirsty, I'm afraid.
My Castle, I assert, vill vait for thee,
It is embarrassing for Counts to dine on food,
meanvile red should be drunk like rare chablis,
vilt thou, fair maid, succumb to my persisting mood?
Hast thou ever heard of my night delights?
Thou vilt dine on rare meat vile listening to tunes from the abyss,
I'll beguile your thoughts under candle lights,
and then (enraptured nymph), thou shalt receive my kiss.
Thou shalt be my companion to dark doom,
Teetotal I became due to the lack of virzzins,
it is more evident ven your perfume,
enthralls my Dracula stimulated senses.
I'll bend on your rest, vile you'll be asleep,
vere bats from caves have fled around the room before,
like from a fresh rose your red I shall reap,
and in crepuscular twilight ve, shall soar.
© 01-26-2013, G. V., All Rights Reserved
Sandy was a chocoholic,
The worst I've ever seen!
If she didn't eat some daily,
She'd become crazy mean!
It didn't matter what kind it was,
Ice cream, cake, pie or candy,
As long as it was chocolate,
Sandy was fine and dandy!
Then one day the unthinkable happened,
To the chocolate loving miss,
While eating her favorite candy,
She choked on a chocolate kiss!
"Death by chocolate," the coroner concluded,
As to the cause of Sandy's death.
At least she died doing what she loved,
Eating chocolate til her last breath.
11/21/11 for Natalie the Rogue Rhymer's
"Die a fun Death" contest
Enchanting is the beauty of her pic
he reckons if they tried the night to guile,
she would become a pique nique exotique
anthology of verse to read worthwhile.
What Coppertone's epoque, deep tan invites
whereon his tasting buds should ever trace
poetic cuisine's discourse fourthright
his foreign language will reach touch base.
Shan't ever inspirations lead his flight
above the sweetness of her warm eyes' hue
hors d'oeuvres' delicacy and choice of sight
a connoisseur of arts should taste fondue.
© G.V., 08-21-2013