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Funny Family Poems | Funny Poems About Family

These Funny Family poems are examples of Funny poems about Family. These are the best examples of Funny Family poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Cowboy | |

Hard Times

When hard times come they sit a spell, Like kin folk come to stay A-packin' troubles, pets an' kids That always get ‘n your way. It's drought an' flood, an' flood an' drought, There ain't much in-between. You work like hell to make ’em good, But still they’re sorta lean. The ranch went under late last year, The drought got mighty tough. The boss held-out a long, long time, But finally said, "enough!" So here I am dispatchin’ cops An’ watchin’ felons sleep, In Junction, at the county jail, A job I’ll prob’ly keep. The wife, she works at Leisure Lodge, Where older people stay, A-makin’ beds an’ moppin’ floors To earn some ‘extra’ pay. Though “extra pay‘s” the term I used, It goes to payin’ rent, An’ after all the bills are paid, We wonder where it went. We hocked my saddle, guns an' chaps, An' then our weddin' rings; Then when we couldn't pay the loan, They sold the 'dad-blamed' things. We felt real bad a day or two But then we let it go, Cause it got Christmas for the kids When money got real slow. When hard times come they sit a spell, Don't matter who you are; They'll cost ya things you've set aside, An' clean your cookie jar. You'll loose some sleep an' worry some, Won't pay to moan an' groan; But hang on to your happiness, They'll finally leave ya 'lone.

Details | Prose Poetry | |

She read me Dr Seuss

6:35 A.M.

Sunrise against my neck
that no cheap tan booth could ever match.

I ring the doorbell in anticipation of joy’s injection.

I needed it.

Because I left my cell phone in the car,
as I didn’t want to hear any chimed email
or text annoyances.

And the car just got cleaned,
only for the birds to have their way
on its waxy shine.


Time to grab the flamethrower from my trunk!

But, before I could scream in Braveheart declaration,
there she was.

Her 6 yr old smile,
made of 1/4 inch gaps between innocence enamel,
captured me like no other could.

“Tio”, she preached in angelica sonata.

As she held me,
held me,
with puppy love warmth.

Even the rainbows fell to its knees.

She took off my jacket with ferret-like perkiness and
asked me to sit on the floor with her.

But, not before offering to toast me some Eggo waffles
with a big glass of Ovaltine…
…in her Little Mermaid glass,
proudly made in North Korea.

It even had the dictator’s initials and a bucktooth smiley face stamp, signed in glitter
that said:

Thank God I just took my online course in Child Safety.
I was ready!

As I sip on Little Mermaid’s curves,
shaped in plastic, swirly straw weirdness,
a sound blasts off from a Barbie radio.

My 2 yr old angel galloped into this heart of mine,
with Tinnitus piercing scream & laughter,
tackling me in Incredible Hulk lunge.

“Hi Tio”, she whispered, before she hopped back upstairs, 
Ninja Turtle-style,
laughing maniacally with rapid head tilts, left to right to left.

Boys will fear her. 
And I couldn’t be more proud.

After two moments of silence, 
my 6 yr old angel places her Dr. Seuss book on my lap,
as she sits in front of me.

“I can r-r-read
with my eye-s

She carefully completed the sentence,
as my eyes instantly fill with leaky pride
and an ingrained smile.

10 minutes later, she shut her book and asked me how she did.
“I am so proud of you my angel.”
“You have come so far.”

I had to hold back tears because I didn’t want to throw her off.
Yet I think she knew,
because she kept her head down and smiled with gentle starburst.

Mission accomplished.

And it was then where I heard her say,
“Those who matter don’t mind,
those who mind don’t matter.”

But she was quiet, looking at me with tilted head & smile.

For it was my inner child, 

© Drake J. Eszes

Details | Personification | |

A Magic Adventure Of Peter The Pan--part II

Inside the Dishwasher everyone rushed!
Clinks, clanks, rattles, 'Ouches' and ' Ohs'!
"Would you pa--lease, settle down!" said Deb--They hushed.
"Now we can hear...let's just see how this goes."

Curious, Peter, looked out through a chinc,
And watched Vie and Chris-- approaching by twos.
They opened the door--and who do you think--
Standing there wearing her fine Jimmy Choos,
Ms Lost Sonnet!--spoke not a word--but winked.

Wilma Wine-Corkscrew, dressed in purple hues
Gave the 'all clear', and Peter spread the news.

"We're having a party Ms Sonnet, please,
Won't you join us? It's a magic party
For Peter", said Ruben Rotisserie.
Bob Blender poured her a drink--quite hardy.

Connie Candellabra was flaming bright
As Ms Sonnet swept past to the soft couch.
Carolyn Cookie Jar screamed with such fright,
"Quick! She's on fire!" Then Lost cried, "Ouch!"

"I'll save her", said Catie Collander. "Here!"
But the water leaked through her like a sieve.
Susan Spatula yelled, "Have no fear, dear!"
Yet, the fire held on and would not give--

Others tried, but could not stop the fire.
Then Peter said, "I wuw twy! I can do it!
With 'Awwy, I can fwy! Way up highya!
Togethwa, we can save Ms Wost Sonnet!

Awwy is my fwend. He tawks funny, too!
He's aw the way fwom Engwand and he is
My Supwa Cape! So I can fwy! It's twue!
No H's wive theaw--his name is wike this:
'Awwy--not Hawwy." So now, they all knew.

"Did I 'ear some bloke colling my name?"
"Yes! 'Awwy, me! We've Ms Sonnet to save!"
Harry Handtowel--AKA, Super Cape--fame
Was now on the neck of Peter the Brave!

With no hesitation quickly they flew,
Smothered the fire and saved just one shoe.
Brittle and weak, Lost needed more than glue...
"She needs magic! Oh! Paweeze! What can we do?"

"Peter...we only made enough for you".
Said Carol Crock-pot. They all cried, "Boo Hoo..."
"Then give huw my magic! That's what you do!"
So quickly they sprinkled the magic brew.
Ms Sonnet was greatful--then said, "Adieu".

"Peter, you've done well," said Anne Assam Tea,
"Let's all have a cup'a tea and you'll see...
"'Magic's believing in yourself, --frankly,
Do that--and you can do--anything!"

~©deborah burch

*Special appearance by "Lost Sonnet", courtesey of David Williams...with much gratitude, thank you all for appearing ;)...Peter has many adventures to come...big hugs, love you all, cap'n deb

Details | Sonnet | |


I know a scamp who chortles frabjously
as in the springtime galumphing he goes.
And just to show how wacky he can be,
he makes his tongue point up to touch his nose!

He has no wicked claws or eyes with flame
to match those of the manxome Jabberwock.
But just beware his jaws. Although he’s tame,
he can’t be stopped once he begins to talk!

I vouch that he can jabber endlessly
and have me at the end of my short rope.
My ears just might fall off one day, for he
gyres gibberish just like a gyroscope.

I dub my beamish grandson “Jabberwack”
for how he acts and how he loves to yak!

For Debbie Guzzi's "Go Ask Alice" Contest

Details | Limerick | |

Princess Needs A New Car

Princess just wants a new car.
I have told her that hers will go far.
'Oh, it's really not cool
driving this crap to school.'
'Do I need that emotional scar? '

'The kids will all laugh at the rust.
When we race, I'll be left in the dust! 
I will save up some cash
then we'll make a mad dash
to the car dealer surely you trust'.

'He will make us a wonderful deal
and I'm sure you will know how I feel.
I will love you so much, 
My siblings... I won't touch.
Just get me behind a new wheel'! 

Now she'll be cruisin in style.
She'll be happy for only awhile.
There will always be better
and we'll try hard to get her
a car that will make princess smile.

Details | Dramatic Verse | |

Attention: WORD NERDS--------- The Eight Parts of Speech

---------------------- "Word Nerds" (like me)...
************Please Have Fun & Read VERY Closely:)***********

now and again
a word 
sneakily obscure
approaches the fog in me
screams its name 
apropos adverbs appear
precarious adjectives
slick little nouns
caught hiding 
beyond babbling brooks
sent to exile
defiling crooks
"pro"fessional nouns
beneath eight parts of speech
pre'fixed subjects
elusive predicates
slithering suffix'ation
turn-ing key
through holes
freeing vocabulary
within prison walls
pen bars 
filled in the past 
like Job's tedious job 
of siphoning
homographs from heteronyms 

words never mind...
they wind the mind
in the wind...

Details | Personification | |

A Magic Adventure Of Peter The Pan

A Magic Adventure of Peter The Pan/AKA Peta The Fwying Pan

Peter was a fine young pan with blue eyes
Like all the other pans his age, except,
Peter could not yet pronounce 'R's'--he tried...
And 'L's' hard he tried. He even wept.

School had been especially hard today
Peter had been poked, teased, and made fun of
More this day than any other school day...
And the ride home took so long on the bus.

When he came through the door, his mama knew
"Why the long face? Are you hurt? Are you sick?"
"No ma'am," said Peter, "Just tiwad fwom schoow".
"Some cookies and milk may just be the trick!"

Mama said, as Peter sat down to eat.
By now, everyone was gathered around
To hear of his day--and sneak a treat.
So he told them his story...and they frowned.

"How can someone be so cruel! Makes no sense!
You are the smartest and brightest of pans!"
Said Debbie Dishwasher-- then cycle rinsed.
The rest agreed and came up with a plan.

"Okay! It's agreed!" said Bob the blender.
"You need magic!--THAT--we can render!

Charles Chalice and Gail Goblet--my dear
Bring what you have, for this magic milk shake.
Michael Magic go get us some beer
And also get Peter a great big steak!"

Then everyone sang together with cheer:
"A parr-ty! A parr-ty! It's a parr-ty!
We are all...having...a magic--parr-ty!"

Everyone was busy, hust'ling around.
Tams the Golden Toaster was making toast.
Tex Texas Tea Pot hummed a whist'ling sound.
David Dish and Sara Spoon danced the most,
Except for Marlon Mop--he could 'get down'!

Carol Crock Pot was fixing up the Soup.
Russell Rolling Pin had rolled out a crust
For a magic pie with love from the coop.
Joann Juicer made fresh smoothies--a must!
Suddenly...a sound was heard on the stoop...

"Who could that be? It's nearly midnight!"
Said Cyndi Chandlier all bright with light.
Christopher Cutting-board called, "I'll go see!"
Vienna Vaccume said, "Not without me!"

"Wait!" Debbie Dishwasher cried from the sink.
"Let's look at more options. We need to think.
It could be someone in need of a meal...
Or, it's a burglar--come here to steal!"

"Everyone else! Quickly! Hide inside me
Until we find out who that sound might be!"

deborah burch©

*****end part I...conclusion in part II

Details | Light Poetry | |

Two Riding On A Single

Two riding on a single
Man! How fast that bike will go
Down the hill around the curve
Blow wind blow

At the very bottom piled up
In a culvert drain
In great agony and pain
Totally distained

Crumpled metal, torn clothes
Bleeding and blood stains
Harsh words from parents
Tears as soap and water cleaned

All the cuts and bruises
And clothes that had to be changed
What an ending to Christmas
The joy of Santa's gift

Lying dented and scuffed bent
Beside the porch needing to be fixed

Details | Free verse | |

Its Raining...

                          Its Raining…

God’s Cleansing Tool
Cloud-Concerto… How Cool !
Plop-Plop Plopping into Pothole Pools
On the Grass, Pavements and On My Own-Sweet- Fools…

who, don’t have Sense enough, to get out of the Rain…
… I think I’ll go Join Them… Again


Details | I do not know? | |


I never wanted it to be this way, I never wanted to feel the pain. Bruises all over me. 
Invisible but I can see them.

You hurt me everywhere. My heart is shattered and the blood has frozen. But I won't be 
your victim.

Stare at me like this all you want. Try and hurt me with your words just as long as you 
don't use fists.

I don't ever want to be your victim. I refuse to be one of those few girls who end up 
losing their whole world.

Love isn't supposed to hurt, but maybe I was just naive because the moment I loved you my 
heart never stopped bleeding. 

I won't be your victim, I won't run away. If you have something to say I won't avoid it. 
I'm not scared I can take whatever you try to throw.

Don't hold back I promise you I will not cry. The moon is shining just like all the 
diamonds that you called pretend love I can't even imagine why I fell so hard.

It's never clear until the glass of water is gone. But now that you've gulped me to the 
last I want you to know I won't be your victim.

I kissed vulnerability goodbye the very last time I cried over you and I won't be your 
victim your not even worth it.

If you feel like you must shove a door in my butt but don't make me afraid because I 
don't want to be I don't want to be your victim. 

Let go of my hand so I can peacefully drive away if you want me to I can drive over you 
as well. But don't make it seem like i'm causing you pain because it's obvious to see 
that I've been a victim and it's a shame.

But I don't want to be it anymore then you so just let me go and I won't have to run. I 
promised you forever I laugh at this now you were never eternity love in my mind.

 I kept counting until the madness in ourselves would corrupt. Tears flash down my eyes 
as I speed down the lanes. Two bottles of Gin and I think i'm going insane.

It wasn't until I crashed into a tree that I realized I was never your victim I was 
merely your suicide mission. 

Details | Lyric | |

Beer Pong Balls

-Sing along to Jingle Bells-

Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you sink, the more I drink.
It's Christmas, let's get drunk!


Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you make, the more I take.
It's Christmas, lets get drunk!

Drinking Michelobe... Sipping on some Jack...
We just made two cups... Give us the balls back!
Ha. Ha. Ha.
Guys can finger cups... Girls know they can blow...
I'm hall of fame, In this game, cause I drink like a pro


Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you sink, the more I drink.
It's Christmas, let's get drunk!


Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you make, the more I take.
It's Christmas, lets get drunk!

A day or two ago... Drinking Miller Light...
I had won eight games, and then got in a fight...
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
We ran out of beer... Had to get some more...
If I'm alive, then I can drive, let's all go to the store!


Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you sink, the more I drink.
It's Christmas, let's get drunk!


Beer pong balls! Beer pong balls!
Landing in my cup.
The more you make, the more I take.
It's Christmas, lets get drunk!

Details | Quatrain | |

My Sister Is An Alien!

My sister is strange
There's no doubt about it
She's an Alien,  that's why
Just get up and shout it!

Her mind control crying
Gets her anything she wants
I say "That's not fair!"
But she just looks at me and taunts

My sister is strange
There's no doubt about it
She's an Alien,  that's why
Just get up and shout it!

It's just a disguise
I'm on to her
Is she scaly
Or covered in fur

My sister is strange
There's no doubt about it
She's an Alien,  that's why
Just get up and shout it!

She's spying on us
They 're ready to invade
So don't just be frightened
Be very afraid!

My sister is strange
There's no doubt about it
She's an Alien,  that's why
Just get up and shout it!

She knows I'm on to her
She's calling for friends
So run for your life
And hide till it ends

Details | Limerick | |

A Clean Hacienda

There once was a woman named Linda

Who would keep a clean hacienda

     Till four children she bore

     And then bore she one more...

She now has a different agenda!

                            Timothy I. Brumley

Details | Rhyme | |

Baby Power

Babies these days are moving hard,
Brains loaded like a memory card,
Jamaican babies or the ones abroad,
Can't let them out of your sight,head-ache,Dear Lord,
Careful what you do,think they didn't catch it,
Start watching them or you are gonna live to regret it,
Children Hospital is full,I can bet it,
Long,long lines,baby mother has to sweat it,
Jump down the stairs,try pulling the plug,
Pull down the iron-board,reaching for the hot mug,
Search your dirty sneakers and mess up the rug,
And if you ever hit them,they start to carry a grudge,
Don't feed me,I want to feed myself,
I can hold the spoon,don't need your help,
One year old,big woman,big man,
And from they start to walk,push away your hand,
Want to do their own thing,like they set the plans,
Worst if down by the kinder garden,they have their own gang,
'Waa waa,gugu gaga boo boo',baby talking to a next baby,
Translated by Google,'just cry,they were made to serve us',
So we will always be on stand-by,for our little baby genius...

Details | Dodoitsu | |

The Brown Tree

All the nuts fell to the ground
The sane ones on branches hang
Long line from many countries
My family tree

Details | Light Poetry | |

Retired Romance 1st of sequence- " IKE " and Jane "

...Now I ain't without notoriety,
Fact is.. I'm an old stalker with a walker.
She was big in the Purple Hat Society
and broke her hip,...while playing soccer.

When I met her, she was on the mend,
and she knew.. what I was after...
and I said I'd catch her when I can,
She said to push that walker a lil' faster.

She had her a "lectric wheel chair,
I just had my old walker and me,
she was pretty fast for a blue hair...
"till I crashed into her I.V. tree...

Well, they fitted my leg with plaster,
and I kinda forgot what I was after...
"till one day,
she wheeled in to see me,
Yep.  Said she'd come ta free me!

Now we sit together,
cozy up and talk about the weather.
We compare wrinkled tatoos,
and guess what they are,
we may share a shot of booze,
we don't go too awful far...

We keep our orthepedic shoes
under the same bed,
and I retired as a walker stalker,
meals on wheels keeps us fed
and we keep our teeth...
in the very same locker.

("Nite Nite, Darlin.")

                                            Composed and Written by-
                                                   Robert A. Dufresne

Details | Alliteration | |

Stink Thinking

Poem by: Mr. Ronald Watson
Sep. 13, 2012
My Poetry on PoetrySoup

Stinking Thinking

Stinking thinking/ it leads to drinking./
What moisten the soul without an inkling?/
Unto making a wild left turn /while the right signal light were blinking./
Within a mild mix of rice, hops, and barley,
Since/ it is too much laugher at a karaoke party./
How Elvis sounds like,/ a broken Bob Marley?/
Now it’s as if,/ inhibitions are lowed/
Frozen in time/ and slipping far out of control./
As intuitions of minds does loathe,/ as such weariness echoes for tomorrow./
Yet,/ a stinking breath that smells just as death/ and it's where all funky asses dwells./
Though/ all hung over /and unjustified to flinging heavy heads into that porcelain king,/ 
Even this is a sight for red sore eyed Kings!/ 
It is an aftermath of ravishing through them royal purple cloth bags./
So/ afraid to admit that shallowness slowly drags!/
When,a sense of clarity which will just admit it.
That stinking thinking is difficult to kick, but
One day at a time, it is the only way to shine, or get fixed.  

Thank youMy Poetry on PoetrySoup
God Bless.

Details | Sonnet | |

Eight Sons

(These would include the younger brothers of Wounded Thunder, the character I made up in my previously posted poem). These were sons of Thunder Storm and “Flower,” from Wounded Thunder down to Thunder Bolt. “Bolt” was fast; the touchy one was “Shower.” And Thunder Struck was somewhat of a dolt. The cute one pampered by fair Prairie Flower well-deserved his name of Thunder Squall, and like another brother Thunder Shower, got teased, but even louder did he bawl! Both “Squall” and “Shower” vexed their brother “Cloud,” for Thunder Cloud by moodiness was led and always scowled at them for crying out loud! Great Thunder Head filled everyone with dread, but the wild son who proved the biggest sap came home infected. That was Thunder Clap!

Details | Rhyme | |

No,You Hold the Chicken!

   No,you hold the chicken
you hold the duck
you hold the baby;
I'll drive the truck!

  You bring the corn bread
I'll bring the wine
we'll go to Mamas'
and have a good time

  You wake up Grandad
I'll feed the cow
get us some slop
and start sloppin the sow

  Get Jr.'s overalls
off of the line
Let's go to Mamas'
and have us a time!

  Go get my banjo
and Grand Daddy's fiddle
yor juice harp's out back
on the porch where I whittle

   We'll have us a ho down
a shindig devine
Let's go to Mamas'
and have us a time!

   She'll spread out the grunions
under the pines
Let's all go to Mamas'
and have a good time!

Details | Rhyme | |


Many years ago, when we were all young,
We really thought life, would be so much fun.
While playing dress-up, trying on mom’s stuff,
Putting on make-up, we found to be tough.

Then came our schooling, and boy things would change,
“Those aren’t our parents”, when they acted strange.
Sometimes they were hip, but old-fashioned too,
That’s something I swore, I would never do.

Wishing you were older, adults had it made,
They would do nothing, yet still would be paid.
That is how little, we all had known,
We surely found out, once we were grown.

Loving the twenties, we’d go out with friends,
When we went shopping, we followed the trends.
Doing what we wanted, and staying out late,
It didn’t matter, what time we all ate.

Then came the thirties, and most of us wed,
Watch what you wish for, my parents had said.
We had to work hard, many bills to pay,
I guess they were right, what more can I say?

Raising your children, was hardest of all,
Needing some advice, your parent’s you’d call.
It seemed so easy, they needed no rest,
So now it’s your turn, you learned from the best.

The forties arrived, that was a shocker,
We’d spend lots of time, just at the doctor.
Back aches and headaches, so tired you’d be,
Trying not to cough, or else you would pee.

The fifties would come, and your grandkids too,
Where were your glasses? You hadn’t a clue.
You searched here and there, and under the bed,
“Hey grandma” they laughed, “They’re right on your head”.

Here come the sixties, now let’s have some fun,
You are retired; your work is all done.
To dinner with friends, you dressed and you wait,
They never show up, you have the wrong date.

Now the seventies, with friends playing games,
If only you could, remember their names.
You try hard to hide, those under-eye bags,
Gravity happens, and everything sags.

Enjoy every day, and have a good laugh,
All the steps you took, led down a new path.
Live life as it comes, each year a new page,
One thing is for sure, everyone will age.

Details | Carpe Diem | |


Why are you so grumpy?
Pray, what made you so?
What gave rise to those dark eyes,
and snivel on your nose?

Why are you so grumpy?
-Don't give me the charade!
I see through that bright red nose,
upon that white clown face!

Why are you so grumpy?
Oh, come now, don't hold back.
I know you know that I know well,
the way you always act.

You cover and hide,
and hurry your stride,
you act as though I'm clueless.
Pout and weep,
mumble and freep,
I know that's no word, BUT YOU DO IT!

So if you're feelin' grumpy,
don't let that raincloud set.
The day that comes after this one,
could be your greatest yet!

Details | Rhyme | |

Say something funny

Sir ! say something funny , the little boy said .
'Cause Mom is now dying and Daddy is dead .
Grandad has piles and he can't sit down .
Gran's on a bender , somewhere on the town .
The dog just had kittens , and the hen , she wont lay .
The toilet is flooded and the rent we can't pay .
My brother has acne ; picking pimples all week .
The goldfish can't swim and the budgie wont speak .
My best funny friend , just sits with a frown .
My frog has just croaked it , my last duck just drowned .
My Y~fronts need changing after 3 months or more .
I've got ire on my thighs from the skidmarks galore .
My red nose is running and my sleeve is green blue .
There's a hole in my sock and 2 more in my shoe .
Sister Sue's on the game and she's got a bad rash .
She's making the bucks , but spending the cash .
My invisable friend , disappeared late last night .
Saying , he must see a Shrink , I have made him uptight .
Our Priest got the last rites ; the new Vicar just sinned .
She breaks with tradition and also breaks wind ! 
But apart from  all that , things aint so bad .
My corns still flake and happyhour aint so sad .
So please Sir !  say something funny to unmask this frown .......

" GET LOST , you bad penny !! . I need a good ... long ... liedown ."

Details | Rhyme | |

Where Has Dad Gone, Mama Dear

Where has dad gone, momma dear?
Hush, my little lamb.
Your dad's gone to the thicket dear 
And mad old Abraham

That man went early this grim morn, and took his sharpened knife
And with him took his own first born, to offer up his life
With servants and with firewood, both, they journeyed to Moriah
And on the hillside there they built an altar and a fire

And Isaac, when he heard the plan, went willingly, it's odd
That he should let that daft old man, so worship his cruel god.
Your father, he was passing by, and heard but could not see
And foolishly could not deny his curiosity

So closer did your father scramble peering through the thorns
Unaware of how the brambles tangled with his horns
Just to see a crazy man who planned to kill his kin
Your father did not understand the danger he was in

For then again that mad old man started hearing voices
His god was speaking to the loon and giving him new choices
And so his plan to slay the boy came about to falter
And Abraham, he took your pa and dragged him to the altar

But that was never fair, mama, can you tell me why
When Isaac he was all prepared and well prepared to die
And all had been decided on, so what cruel trick mama
Was played upon that grand old ram, who was my own papa?

Life is not fair, my little lamb, nor is it like to change
And fate plays tricks on all of us, both sinister and strange
So you take care, my little lamb, with this advice from me 
Do not visit places where you know you should not be

The moral of this story dear, is take heed of the odds
And stay away from two-leggies worshipping their gods

Details | Rhyme | |

Granddads Book

In my quiet times I often try,
To remember places I've been.
To recall folk I have passed by,
And sights that I have seen.

There is nothing wrong with my mind,
Sometimes my memory is quite refined.
I think it's filled over many a year,
With so much junk, nothing seems clear.

So, I made up my mind to write it all down,
To recall it all caused me to frown
It started like I was in the dark,
A memory flared, I was in the park.

That day in the park was just the lever,
I found my mind was as good as ever.
Tho' times and places got out of line,
I wrote it all down, now wasn't I clever!

I'm nearly at the end of my story,
A journey I'm glad that I took.
For my grandsons to read in years to come,
I'll call it Granddads Book.

© Dave Timperley 2012.

Details | Rhyme | |

Grandma's House

Where do you go,
When you can’t eat candy?
Where every kid goes,
Because it’s so handy.
It is not very far,
Plus the door is always open.
With a full cookie jar,
At least I am a hopin’.
Here the food is always free,
Nor do you have to be quiet as a mouse.
It is not a fort in a tree,
Indeed--it is Grandma's house!!  

Details | Free verse | |

" IKE and JANE " --Sequence 3 "Old Geezer's Garden"

The name's Ike .
Some a you met me and my wife Jane,
We got us a good life, can't complain.

To the kids, I'm an old geezer round here,
I think it's funny , they don't mean no harm,
I likes ta watch em, and have me a beer,
Work in the yard; Jane calls it my 'lil farm .

I been around a long time,
But ya know, it's still me inside this old shell,
This old body shell is wrinkled and baldin'
gray haired and achin'; I really gave it hell.
Though ya know, inside, ...I'm still really alive!
Funny...I always think I'm about thirty five !

Anyway i'm gettin off track. 
Sometimes I gotta find somethin ta git me goin',
so I head out to the yard and start ta hoein'.
Ya see I got me a 'lil garden,
sometimes, I spreads manure in,
   ...(beggin' your pardon)

You see ,in a special sorta way
each plant needs good care.
Some stay outside 'n grow on the rungs.
Some shoots I wants in the green house,
ta help 'em grow and tend to the young.
Guess them plants is like people,
Some praise God under the sky'
some prays ta Him under a steeple.

This ole garden been through alot.
She been through four hurricanes in her lifetime,
and one year,...a twister just missed her.
I've always liked it out here.
it's a special place to me,..very dear.
We sometimes walk out here, me and the Mrs.
We smile and call it "the old geezer's garden".
Then we get us in a few hugs and kisses.

My old garden been around 
a long long time, but she's still alive!
Some folks ask me how old it is,..
and I tell 'em...oh..'bout ...thirty five...

see you folks next time.   " nite nite darlin."

Details | Rhyme | |


Mamma Anna made the best Babba' al Rhum,
you should have seen me how it made me slightly drunk;
and jumping and screaming I danced to the beats of a drum...
then grandma joined in and she sang a classical song!

And the sweet cream was on my lips and cheeks, 
the Babba' al Rhum was delicious and I topped it with chocolate;
everybody began shouting, "It came from Paris,
but we Neapolitans reinvented it by improving its shape and taste!"

Mamma Anna made the best Babba' al Rhum, soaking it in that liqueur much longer;
and Papa' always told me to eat more of it...saying with a suppressing laughter,
"It's a man's dessert, after you eat it, you'll be strong!"
Oh, did he really tell me the truth? No, he was wrong!

It's so very sad that they aren't here,
and I am eating pretzels and drink a beer,
the harmony that stirred their passion can't possibly return...
as they danced on the terrace to celebrate the day I was born!

Mamma Anna knew how to make the best Babba' al Rhum,
and I licked the dripping rum with my finger...not my tongue!
She spoke calmly...when she should have gotten mad and picked up a broom;
no, she was never mean and rude, or ever said to me, " Go to your room!"

Details | Light Poetry | |

' Boot-Legged Mama '

Mama and Daddy was always Love-Dovey
She is His Sweetheart – He is Her Honey
First Love… Real Love  -  Forever True
Pa… I Pray to find A Man Like You…

Daddy Laughed and Put His Arm Round My Shoulder
And Said, “I’ll Tell You Somethin’, Now You’re Older
It’s got to do with Your Mother’s Fame
And Why I gave Her, The Nickname…

               … Boot-Legged Mama

                  Boot-Legged Mama
Blue-jean Shorts and Vintage Tony Lama
Walked thru the Door… of A Liquor Store
… Packaged so Pretty… Pa Just had to Pour

               … Boot-Legged Mama

Ma… Was there, to get 6-packs for A Party…
Pa… Was there, ‘cause of a Taste for Bacardi
He took One Look and Knew He Couldn’t Waste Her
Pa… Gave-up ‘Drank’… Just so He Could Chase her !

Dad, Said, ‘He’d Drowned in Dark-Eyes and Sweet-Aroma
Fine-Wine, Crystal… But Tuff’ Nuff’ to Down-Drama
Pa Claims, Mama’s Labeled by the F.D.A.
And Listed on Her Driver’s License is,  A.K.A.  …

               … Boot-Legged Mama

                  Boot-Legged Mama
 Genuine Woman, Who Made Him Wanna’
Take Her to be His Lawful Moonshine
… Married at Midnight – ‘cross The County-Line

               … Boot-Legged Mama

Alcohol’s in Trauma;  and Prohibition Told Her:
"Boot-Legged Mama… Done Drove Pa Sober !"
Now, Homemade-Hooch… is His Acquired Taste
180 Proof… Kicked All Over His Case !

Right Then, Mama Flowed into The Room
Pa, Teased and Said, “Still Full-Bodied and Perfumed !
Ma Hugged Us, then Handed Me – Old Boots and A Dress…
    (and good advice)… “Go Git’ My Elliot Ness…

               … and be a Boot-Legged Mama!

( Hey !... Did I Hear Somebody, In A Country Drawl ….
          Order Up A Bottle of Kicking Alcohol !
         Well, Here She Is… Y'all ! ...
                  Boot-Legged Mama ….

Well John (Moses) Freeman... You Said You Needed
Somethin' :)  to Read tonight, before kicking up your
heels...  Well, Here It Is (Have Fun - Son)


 (Thank You For All Your Wonderful Comments
Now, I Can't Get Thru The Door for My Ego.. (Smile)

Details | Heroic Couplets | |

An Old "Happy" Couple

Cherish me as I grow old, and am surely liable to forget things. 
 I know how interesting life is and the contentment it brings.
I know you'll make excuses to try and be miserable and even try not to go.
 Now just have a good trip, even though I know your stress will just grow.

White, sandy beaches and salt tasted air, with an ocean so cold.
 Aggravation sets in as we try to put our lawn chairs down to unfold.
Breathe, my love, its as simple as remembering the latch on the side.
 Surely, all you had to do is ask, I'm tired of your old, stubborn pride.

Finally, we get our chairs situated and I'm ready to bask in the sun.
 You ask for sun block and as I search, you assume I brought none.
Its just at the bottom of the beach bag, you stubborn old ass!
 And don't think I don't see you sneaking a sip out of that flask!

I turn bronze as I used SPF 40, you chose SPF 15, and look at you.
 Red as a lobster, mean as crab, and I'm enjoying the view.
I tried to tell you, but so stubborn, do you ever plan to listen?
 Probably not now, nor never, so your skin will always be red and glisten.

How are you supposed to relax now that you can't move not even a limb?
 Our stress free vacation, is as always, starting to look grim.
Oh well, aloe you up, and off to dinner we shall go and have some fun.
 Take some Soma, Lortab, and Xanax and you'll be good and numb.

An hour later and you're stress free, and mostly out of that pain.
 Good thing, because its in the forecast for Florida rain!
We'll hobble around the block and get soaking wet from head to toe.
 Knowing tomorrow you'll be back in pain and stressed so we'll have to go.

But its like this every year, we plan to stay, but I know how you are.
 One or two days of driving makes you stiff from sitting in the car.
It'll take the rest of our vacation for you to blister and finally peel.
 You're the entertainment in my life, and that's why I'm with you still!

Details | Quatrain | |

Mice For A Very Good Price

I opened the door,
Saw two nice mice,
At Pete's Pet Store;
For a very good price.

I bought them that day,
With money I had saved,
Raking and hauling hay;
For my neighbor, Mr. Dave.

I purchased a bowl,
Just for their food,
And a bottle with a hole;
For drinking water through.

I named one Ice,
He had clear blue eyes,
The other, I named Spice;
He was the smallest in size.

Ice would take small bites,
Of cheese and treats of rice,
Spice made noise at night;
Munching bread - I had sliced.

I'll never forget the day,
Mom said, "Look Price!"
And lying in their hay;
Were two bald baby mice.

Details | Couplet | |

Mother's Wisdom

We nurture them within our bodies, birth them in a blinding pain,
suckle them on breasts so swollen, till we think we’ll go insane.

We kiss away each painful boo-boo, bandage each and every wound,
show them that in spite of roundness, peas can stay upon their spoons.

We intercept their nostril’s flowing, be it green or white as snow,
wiping gently ever hoping, for the day they’d learn to blow.

We give to them each ounce of wisdom, try to teach them everything,
suddenly, for unknown reasons, screw it up and give them wings.

We mourn a bit, those cherished moments, when on us they did depend,
days when we were super heroes, possessing wisdom without end.

We watch the journey proudly knowing, as they soar into the light,
Mother’s wisdom, though not perfect, lends the wind that gives them flight.

Details | Senryu | |

Fantasy Escape (Senryu)

World of Walt Disney The day after Thanksgiving Shoulder to shoulder © Joseph 11/23/07 © All Rights Reserved Author’s Comments: The Japanese Senryu format has three lines as follows: the first has five syllables, the second seven syllables, and the third five syllables. The pattern is 5/7/5 for a total of seventeen syllables. The Senryu is about an emotional expression, human nature, and things in the human realms which maybe satiric or humorous.

Details | I do not know? | |

Ava's Night

My little girl, she could not sleep
so toss and turn, she pulled the sheets
and, ba ba black sheep safe in tow
to our dark room she chose to go
A creak of the door and then there she was
she wanted to sleep with us because
she heard a noise, she was too hot,
she tried to sleep but she could not
I hauled her up to our bed at three
before too long she was fast asleep
but I, on the other hand, was wide awake
for, someone did my pillow take
and someone elbowed me all night
and had the blanket pulled too tight
Someone’s hand flopped on my head
(I wished we had a king size bed)
By six I finally gave in and rose
eyes swollen tired and stuffy nose
hair looking like I had lost the war
all out of coffee so I went to the store
and when I got back, when asked how she slept
my little girl sighed, and said “good, except...
I thought I would sleep all snugly and tight
but MOMMA bug kept me UP ALL NIGHT!!!!”

Details | Lyric | |


Dad is not perfect, but, a wonderful man;
He’s honored by his wife, daughter and son.

Whether a naughty girl or an angelic boy,
He’s ready to buy a gift or make a toy.

Dad is whom you want to be with,
When you’re down or you’re in need.

He is always there for you, giving hope;
And loses his temper when you’re in dope.

Dad was born, indeed, to make us laugh;
Especially, when he shares his funny stuff.

In one’s heart, he leaves his memories;
A true friend, a brother, a man of peace.

So this is what dad means to me;
Am I ready for this? Let me see.

Hmm, I’m thinking; nope, I pass.
I’m old, just 90. You boys don’t rush.

Details | I do not know? | |

Dirty Laundry

I’ve come to believe that dirty laundry
is alive.
Just when you’re down to one batch, you turn
around and there are five.

And I also believe that laundry runs around
at night by itself.
“Cause “no one” gets it dirty, or takes it down
from the shelf.

“I don’t know where it all came from” is
what I always hear.
All those towels have a mind of their own, is
now what I fear.

There’s four kids, three adults and seven days in
the week.
How that can turn into twenty batches, this
question, the answer I seek.

If I’d just invested in Proctor and Gamble when
they first went on the market,
Today I’d have a Rolls Royce, along with  a 
driver to park it.


Details | I do not know? | |


Get r done, you say in fun
Hurry up and birth my son
The time is near and coming soon
For Dallas to exit from your womb
Your second son will make your family whole
A new life for you is yet to unfold
Get r done you will surely say
When Crystal tells you it is now your day
To watch the boys while she goes out
Then you will be the one to pout
Of all the stress that children bring
The diapers and bottles and all those fun things
But I will tell you this without doubt
To get r done you have been devout
Your love for your children will forever grow
Will and Dallas has a wonderful home
One where laughter will fill their heads
Right up until time for bed
When dad is yelling Get R Done
And the little ones are ready for morning to come
Then mom will be the one to shout
I got r done, now go play and stay out!


Details | Carpe Diem | |

The Worm and the Apple

There once was a worm who lived in an Apple,
he lived there, and quite comfortably.
He found dirt deplorable,
but Apples, adorable!
The rent was affordable,
and cheap!

There once was a worm who lived in an Apple,
he lived there and never came out.
"This is my Apple coreable,
nothing I love moreable,
life outside's ignorable!"
he'd pout.

There once was a worm who lived in an Apple,
he lived there and liked it just fine.
Sometimes, rain would pourable,
with great thunderstormables,
and when the wind roarabled,
he'd hide!

There once was a worm who lived in an Apple,
he lived there, but one sunny dawn.
He noticed the floorable,
which looked nice beforeable,
had become deformabled,
with rot!

There once was a worm who lived in an Apple,
he lived there, but was forced to leave.
And how he complained a lot,
till he saw an apricot,
and he did proclaim this thought;
"It is now that I see;

-that he who lives only inside his own head,
finds it is a small world indeed"!

Details | Rhyme | |

Family Trip to Mars

It’s time to pack the rocket,
Because there’s no need for cars.
For our first vacay,
That’s as far away,
As the wonderful world of Mars.

Yes that’s what the brochure said;
It’s a wonderful world out there.
So grab the yout’s,
And lunar boots,
But don’t forget the extra air.

I’ll always recall that first trip;
Starting with how to pack.
We stuffed the trunk,
Coz who woulda’ thunk,
We couldn’t bring a luggage rack.

Then we fueled her up with the good stuff,
To go fifty million miles.
Then I guffawed,
Let’s send the in-laws,
But that made my wife hostile.

I told the kids to go to the bathroom,
Then they looked at me in a daze.
When they found out.
We’ll be flying about,
Two hundred and fifty days.

There was one last major problem;
For a request we were afraid to hear.
Our son put us on the spot,
When he asked to bring Spot;
Not this time, he has to stay here.

Well that started the bellyaching,
That delayed us leaving the house.
“Will miss all our friends,
For who knows when?”
And that stuff was said by my spouse.

Thankfully calmer heads prevailed,
After toasting with some drink.
The kids didn’t peep,
And my wife fell asleep,
Due to the added drugs, I think?

Take off was smooth as can be;
Frankly, it was a hoot.
Until I realized,
High up in the skies,
I didn’t pack my bathing suit.

When the family finally woke up,
We were soaring close to the moon.
The kids both cheered,
Then said what I feared,
“Hey dad, will we be there soon?”

Well that was just the beginning,
There was more in store for me.
When one kid upchucked,
And the other one yucked,
“Hey dad, I got to go pee!”

Then my wife put in her two cents,
And asked if I’m driving all the way through?
I said we’ll stop for the night,
On the next meteorite;
What did she expect me to do?

At last Mars came into our sights;
Talk about being out in the sticks.	
They asked where we’ll stay?
I said, to their dismay,
“This rocket doubles as a Motel Six.”

We all agreed Mars was wonderful;
An exquisite planet in red.
We took pic’s big time,
Then turned on a dime,
And flew back in uncomfortable beds.

Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

By Degrees

September I gazed outside with unease
When I heard it will fall in the sixties.
Then dad said we’ll soon be losing degrees;
To me these things sounded like tragedies.

Why do we have say bye to degrees?
I never knew they were our enemies.
Tell me the truth ‘cause I hate when you tease.
I’m begging you, dad, I need to know please?

I dreamed degrees were no bigger than fleas
That could saddle up on the backs of bees,
And buzz along in rows of twos and threes
Then vanish amongst the tallest of trees.
Dad replied, you’ll learn it all by degrees,
So I gave up on him and asked Louise
To see if she knew much about degrees.
My sister said they’re in geometry.

She drew a large L, and said this big cheese
Is a right angle; called ninety degrees.
Angles take their shape by connecting these
Points together, denoted with ABC’s.

Right angles were proved by Isosceles,
And two of them are complimentary.
Whatever this had to do with degrees
Was another of life’s big mysteries.

I pictured angles of many degrees
Popping out from books of geometry.
As gulls that appear as a flock of vees
Flying above all of the seven seas.

I then asked my mom, can you help me please
Concerning my questions about degrees?
Sure, hon, she said, see those sugar cookies
They baked at three hundred fifty degrees.

Oh my goodness mom, you say that all these
Are as hot as the sun without a breeze?
Of course not, silly, there only cookies;
They’re made to raise money for charities.

I thought if the sun was made of cookies?
Of course I’d prefer that better than peas.
But anyways, would the universe freeze?
Whether out of cookies, or peas, or cheese?

Since I was still puzzled about degrees
I ran back upstairs, with difficulties.
Knowing my brother was sick with disease,
I crawled in his room on both hands and knees.

Dad was there too, but his face showed worries
Tom’s temp reached over one hundred degrees.
So I touched his forehead, and thought, oh jeez
It would melt bowls of M&M candies.

I imagined if Tom had to sneeze,
Would the juice burn through the land and seas?
And make it all the way to the Chinese;
Would it infect all their towns and cities?
To Dad’s home office I went ill at ease
And when dad came in I asked him if he’s
Going to lower Tom’s hundred degrees?
Dad said don’t worry, he has expertise.

He showed me one of his MD degrees
That you can earn at Universities.
He said if Tom rests and catches some zees
He’ll soon be totally free of disease.

I thought instead of Universities
I’d join the circus and learn the trapeze,
Or perhaps be a clown so that I can squeeze
Into a small car that runs without keys.

I think on that day I learned by degrees
That they can cook, and measure disease.
Fit on the wall, are in geometry
Yet I’m perplexed to the umpteenth degree. 

Details | Italian Sonnet | |

Sisterly Examples

When I was young, I had a great disdain
for Campell's nasty soup named Alphabet.
One Saturday it was our mother's threat
we had to eat it up or home remain
and miss the matinee. How inhumane!
Mom left the room; I never will forget
the thing which I'd repeat without regret -
I took that slop and tossed it down the drain!

When Mom returned, I'd "downed" all of my soup.
Again she left; Mel went to dump HER meal
and at the sink got caught. Poor nincompoop!
She missed "Red Riding Hood" while I, the heel,
went out. Our mom was left "out of the loop."
My little sister did not even squeal!

(Some slang words here for my non-native friends:
a "nincompoop" is a foolish person,
"out of the loop" means to never be aware of something
and the last verb "squeal" means to "tell on someone"
I always tried to get away with murder when I was young
and I can't believe my sister missed the movie by not telling
on me! On the other hand, I really enjoyed "Red Riding Hood" heehee)

For Frank H's 
A Childhood MEMORY Poetry Contest

Details | Haiku | |

Orange you Glad to be---an Orange---

     Contract Delete

Details | Free verse | |

I declare myself blessed

As a child I wanted to be a pilot and writer I wasn’t interested in much else.
I became a Marine at 17 a husband at 20, a father at 23 a grandfather at 50
I am a happy middle age fat man with the same wife of 41 years and she
is still all I will ever need.  I am blessed. Much more than I deserve
A more than wonderful wife, 2 fantastic daughters and 3 sweet grandchildren. 
A son in law that loves my daughter and their children
Oh yea, and a crazy dog. 

I can hear our granddaughter asking daddy over the phone 
if they can go somewhere after work when he gets home
while her brother and his dog play happily out back 
Grandma and aunty entertain the youngest of the pack

and now mommy puts them all in the tub 
splashing is followed by laughter and more splashing 
and laughter and splashing until all have had a scrub 
Just in time for daddy
And that is exactly why I bought this house

Details | List | |

I love

I love your soft kisses.I love firm but gentle touch.  I love the way you bite your lip.I love you soooooo much.
 I love the way you look at me.I love the way you smile.  I love the way you're shy sometimes,Every once and a while.
 I love it when you look at me, When I'm not looking at you.  You think I do not realize it, But really...I do.
 I love the way you cuddle. I love the way you sleep.  I love how you bite your lip when something turns you on. I love the way you rub your neck,when you are thinking so deep.
I love all of you,Your nose, your lips, your hair, even your smelly feet.  I love how you drink Dr Pepper. Morning noon and night.  I love how if someone puts me down your always there first one there ready to fight.  I will never stop loving you. You are so amazingly sweet.
 I love that I love you.I have loved you from the very start.  I LOVE ALL OF YOU,You alone hold the key to my heart.

Details | Narrative | |

School Days

(and long brown stockings) 

I detest these stockings,
they're coarse, brown and ugly.

I hate the garters more;
elastic circles that cut off 
circulation and fail to halt 
the laddering down my skinny legs.

If only . . . I picture myself
in warm jeans and no teasing
from Tommy Rogers.

I put the garters to better use,
roll the repulsive stockings
down around my ankles. 

Tommy taunts,
"Who gave you
jointed toothpicks for legs?"

I lost it.

Now, Tommy has a black eye
and my nose is in the corner.

Details | Burlesque | |

Redneck FATHER'S DAY------


"Storm over yet...?"

"Well hay'ell ye'ah! 
 sum'body git me a da'gumm cole beer.
 whadda'bou  that boy th'er?
 sum'body git him'a cole beer too!"

"Diddy! that boy ain't nothin' but 8 years old!"

"Wha'choo sayin? 
 na'I don't give a jolly'durn, if he ain't nuttin but 8 year'owed!
 'dat boy dun' sat him thr'ew a big ol', storm! 
 torna'durr warnin' too!
 he gonna have him'a cole burr;  
 on me!"
 my treat!
 mama, git him'a cole burr! 
 ro'tt now; 
 ta'days father's day!" 

© 2011  ~JSLambert Esquire


Details | ABC | |

My Father's cleats

 It’s funny how my father’s hobby became mine. He has been a sportsman all his life, he played basketball, volleyball and softball all his youth, but his real passion is soccer and even though he is 55 years old now, he still keeps playing it and loving it. He has had all kinds of cleats, all brands, all colors, different styles, but it does not change anything, he still plays amazing. But one thing I do find hilarious is that every time he comes from a game, he cleans his cleats, he washes them and takes them with such an unbelievable affection, that I’m beginning to think that he might love them more than he loves me, but now I do know the feeling of a new shiny, hard and beautiful pair of cleats. I still recall when he took me for my very first pair, I could not believe he was doing it for me, I was so excited, but now I realize that what I was excited about is that I could be like my father for just a moment when I had them on. Ever since I was little, I remember my daddy playing soccer, leaving home all dressed up, ready to fight, and win the ball to make a remarkable roll on the field. The playing field that we both love, the field all covered in grass, all green, so delicious and soft, so colorful… being crashed by everyone’s cleats and the rolling ball, feeling the sunlight on our skin, and the wind on our faces. Having a team, an extra family with whom we could find support and create new ideas, new plays so we could smash the opponent. So yes, I loved watching him play and cheering him up more than I could ever like watching official and famous soccer teams. I do find funny the fact that my father’s hobby became mine since everyone says we’re too similar, and even though he also has a son, his daughter is with whom he shares that connection. I love the fact that our simple relationship was started thanks to such a manly sport, and curiously, to transform me into such a girly girl.

Details | Haiku | |

Playing Peek A Boo {Edit}

<                             coniferous tree
                       playing peek a boo .... shuffle                                
                              candid smiles glisten

{ Christmas }

Entry For
Deborah Guzzi's
Holiday Haiku Contest
G.L. All

Details | Limerick | |

Beers and Tears

Men measure life by the number of beers
Women measure life by the flow of tears
It is when the dad farts
His wife moans in her heart
Because her own children laugh and cheer

Edward J Ebbs - October 11, 2011
Limerick Contest 

Details | Rhyme | |

Waiting For Santa

My brother told me you’re not real and sissy said that too
But Santa I know they are wrong and I will wait for you
I hung my stocking on the hearth; it’s waiting for you there
And since they are so little I thought I’d hang up a pair

Mommy is making cookies so you’ll have a snack to eat
Daddy said make chocolate chip, the kind that’s semi-sweet
I don’t know how my Daddy knows what cookies you like best
I think he hopes when you are done that he’ll get all the rest

Our chimney looks so tiny that I hope you don’t get stuck
To get all of my presents down you’ll need a lot of luck
Mommy told me not worry that you will find a way
Then she smiled at Daddy to see just what he would say

My Daddy told me sometimes you put toys together here
Just like the new bicycle that you brought for me last year
You must have had a hard time ‘cause I thought I heard you yell
It sounded like you hurt your hand but the bike was really swell

Did Daddy help you build it? ‘Cause it sounded like his shout
Next day he had a Band-Aid on, so what’s that all about ?
When I asked him what happened, it was really a surprise
‘Cause I thought I saw your twinkle Santa, in my Daddy’s eyes

I just don’t understand this year why Daddy looked so tired
When he heard all the things I want said “assembly required”
But anyway I know you’ll come, ‘cause Mom and Daddy said
That I have been a real good boy and now I’m off to bed

Details | Sonnet | |

Once Upon A Time

Once a week the grandson comes to Granny's 
He loves to get special treats tucked away 
Searching every nook and little crannies
Then while he snacks he loves to play, play, play..

Last week his day at Granny's house involved
Outside play, some time reading tractor books
Then in a few minutes truck play evolved
Through all of them he loves to look and look

Then he left granny's house and headed home
With memories of what happened there
He wanted to talk to Granny on the phone
He asked," With what truck are you playing and where?"

I told him, " I'm not now playing with a truck
but with Neopet; soon I'll get the fire truck stuck."  

Sponsor: Francine Roberts
Contest: Tickle My Funny Bone
Written: March 12, 2014

Details | Light Poetry | |

The Tone In Her Voice

The tone in her voice told me I had gone to far,
the tear down her cheek another scar 
inflicted upon an already bruised loving heart.

The look in her eyes cause me to shudder,
the clench of her jaw arouses a twitch of her lip,
to quell and dissipate words she would love to spew,
but will not,
instead, scream into deep recesses of her brain.

The stoop of her shoulders, hands balled into fists drilled into her waist
with legs spread taunt, 
all positive signs to find an escape route.

As I turn and crawl away I hear her say,
if you were not a baby, there would be the devil to pay.

There was not anything I could say,
at nine months,
language was scheduled for another day,
so I just went about my way,
next time I see mom, she will give me a hug, everything again okay.

Until the next time.

Details | Limerick | |

Poor Man

We never thought she'd find the right man Find a more fickle bride if you can.. Poor man hasn't a chance She's in charge of romance He stepped into the fire from the pan Written in haste for the "Cousins Wedding" contest... my

Details | Light Poetry | |

Naughty or Nice

Santa! Oh, Santa! Please listen to me. It’s for Dragon! I’m begging you, please!
Dragon didn't mean to be naughty! He’s crying! He’s even down, on his knees!
Christmas is coming! He wants to be nice! Heaven knows what, he’ll do next!
It’s been quite a week! Beyond his control! And, of course, you know, the rest!

First, he swooped in to help an old Lady, as she tried to walk across a street.
But the wind from his wings; caught her and blew her away, and into a heap!
He volunteered: as a candy stripper, helping patients, at a hospital, without reward.
No smoking allowed, with the seriously ill, his Fire blew up, that one LITTLE ward.

He raked all the leaves for old Mister Brown, for free; who was so very, pleased. 
He gave Dragon an at-a boy! And added a slap on his back, making him sneeze. 
Which startled a spark, from Dragons great mouth. It’s a pity… what they say…
Mr. Brown’s house won’t be finished rebuilding, till… next spring and a day.

Dragon helped with the neighborhood school playground… monitoring the swings.
Upon hearing the comment, “I want to go higher”, they found Space, was achieved.
Now, sad and so lost, Dragon checked out a place, Google Earth had blurred out…
Jets forced him down, it was a secret location, now wiki-leaks-men run, all about.

At an Old Folks Picnic, Dragon grabbed 2 oldsters, then sat on a 3rd, one windy day.
Stopping them from being blown away, the 3rd leaves intensive care, soon, they say.
Baby sitting, a baby that kept crying, Dragon grew so upset, smoke billowed forth.
The firemen decided, until his smoke is under control, ‘no babysitting’, henceforth!

Santa is great! This we all definitely know! To get all these problems under control... 
He said ‘don’t try so hard!’ As he found Dragon’s heart not only nice, but pure gold! 
Peace was ensured, as he sent Dragon home… for his family to enjoy, and to enfold!  
Now life will be better, for all! I’m sure!… Or so I do hope, to behold!

But… Pardon me, Santa… Did you just… say?… He’s officially nice, in your view?
Santa, perhaps a warning is due. His wish list, 2 miles long, is coming to you!
For all, it’d been quite a week, mission accomplished, as Santa gave a knowing wink!
‘Ho! Ho! Ho! Merry Christmas! Peace on Earth’, even with Dragon around, me-thinks.

Details | Couplet | |

Well, I'm A Monkey's Uncle

Mr. Darwin claimed that we are descended from the apes!

   In zoos you may see your kin in various species, sizes and shapes.

      Verily, verily if this be true that we are related to the monkey,

         Then, I reckon it could be said that 'I'm truly a monkey's unkie!'

Robert L. Hinshaw, CSMgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved


Details | List | |

Rules in the eyes of a toddler

If it is off, I must turn it on.
If it is on, I must turn it off.
If it is folded, I must unfold it.
If it is a liquid, it must be shaken, then spilled.
If it a solid, it must be crumbled, chewed, stepped on or smeared.
If it is high, it must be reached.
If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
If it is pointed, it must be run with at top speed.
If it has leaves, they must be picked.
If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
If it is not trash, it must be thrown away.
If it is in the trash, it must be removed, inspected, and thrown on the floor.
If it is closed, it must be opened.
If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
If it is a pencil, it must write on the refrigerator, monitor, or table.
If it is full, it will be more interesting emptied.
If it is empty, it will be more interesting full.
If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
If it is stroller, it must under no circumstances be ridden in without protest. It must be pushed by me instead.
If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
If Mommy's hands are full, I must be carried.
If Mommy is in a hurry and wants to carry me, I must walk alone.
If it is paper, it must be torn.
If it has buttons, they must be pressed.
If the volume is low, it must go high.
If it is toilet paper, it must be unrolled on the floor.
If it is a drawer, it must be pulled upon.
If it is a toothbrush, it must be inserted into my mouth.
If it has a faucet, it must be turned on at full force.
If it is a phone, I must talk to it.
If it is a bug, it must be swallowed.
If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
If it is not food, it must be tasted.
If it IS food, it must not be tasted.
If it is dry, it must be made wet with drool, milk, or toilet water.
If it is a car seat, it must be protested with arched back.
If it is Mommy, must make her dirty
If it is sibling, must slap,kick,and fight.
If it has four legs, must squeeze tight until makes noise
If big person is on phone, must make lots of noise
If tv is not on cartoons, scream until they are
If food is not good, throw it, refuse to eat it and cry until big people give you something good

Details | Limerick | |

Best School Play Ever

I cannot afford to miss
A school play such as this.
My son plays a big tall tree.
My daughter plays a bumble bee.
At the end a pig and a hippo kiss.

Details | Couplet | |

The Technology Elf

Our first computer was set and ready to go.
How to use it only the children did know.
“Wheel of Fortune” became our regular game.
We would gather to play; it earned family fame.

Taking turns guessing letters: R-S-T-L-N-E.
Every one was a clue to the phrase mystery.
Each night was the same for the kids and myself.
Until we were visited by the "Technology Elf!"

We had guessed many letters without success.
Then, just as our thinking began to regress,
The answering machine conveyed the next letter.
Wide-eyed and doubting, we had nothing better.

So we typed in the letter; oh, my, the surprise,
The solution was clear; our eyebrows did rise.
With hair on my neck standing straight and tall,
The children asked me to explain it all.

We all heard the clue whispered from the phone.
It must have been technology gnome!
Or was it a ghost that caused this mystery?
You can bet that our game soon became history.

But that was back then, before systems improved.
Now we all are addicted as technology behooved.
There are so many fun games and friends on the web.
No ghost, gnome or elf could make surfing ebb.

© July 22, 2011
Dane Smith-Johnsen

Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest: Talkin' Technology 	
Sponsored by: Natalie Fllikkema

Details | Haiku | |

Dancing Angels

Angels in heaven
Dancing on a small puddle
Always stay afloat

Details | ABC | |

The Vent

im livin in a world, where all eyes on me.
trying to curve my own route.
but route 66 keeps finding its way to me.
ive been plenty sick, in all the events layed before me.
even when i reflect to my lowest points
i dont regret any of the choices
That I’ve deployed in my era
A lot of it by error, but hey
We live in hell conditions and there ain’t no air condition 
Or any guidelines when life throws you in the sidelines
But when hindsight twenty twenty hits
You’ll begin to understand life’s a bunch of equations and you in the mix of it
An you’ll have to think twice, before running into a situation and becoming the best of it
it’s what got me here, it’s what got us here
Ran with my thoughts blazing up to her place and
Guess what happened next
She opened up heaven’s gate
And just before late I slipped out
Simply put 
I’m a Grown ass man
Doin his thing, waitin to blow up like an old land mine
In doin what he drools over
But time after time 
Something decides to creep up and cover the light
Lost my way
Then I revoked to ever know, I ever thought that way
But in the in between time, that in the mean time 
Spent a lot of time
Gettin pissed off just to medicate and lift off
Don’t need Don Perion to sip off
Already had my way with the bottle
Even thought to get back with the trouble and rejoin the hustle
That’s just what happens to a man who really knows his old ways
Whos tired of making ends meet and ponders getting back to the streets.
Memory sets in and he remembers an O.G. saying
No matter how tall your pockets stand when you ball
Eventually times gonna make you fall
And I as I pull myself together 
I don’t wanna end up like the twin towers rubble
I mean no offence to nine eleven but at that time I probably could have used a reverend
But all that’s irrelevant now
because i live with a different perspective now

there you go you made it to the end :-) comment if you like, constructive criticism wanted as well.

Details | Light Poetry | |

Happy Hysterics

Hearty har har - helplessly howling happy hysterics
awareness, after all, always amazes artichokes!
Everyday evil eggs are eaten eagerly
yesterday you yacked yucky yellow yolks
singing silly sickening sapsucker swill songs!
Dangerous dopey dogs deny dumping dung
but bark big brash bumpkiss bile!
Flighty flatulent fireflies (flitting furiously!)
swirling sloppy sides soaked in salsa
tirelessly tipping tutus twisting tantalizing twitters
wearily weaving wacky worlds wastefully. 
Go grab the great gain green giggling goo goo ghost
mIsmanaged, maybe my magic medicines magically made mud!
Watch which one will wash wondrously white, wait.
Hearty har har - happy hysterics howl helplessly
after all artichokes always avoid awareness anyway!

Inspired by Kristin Reynolds March Maddness - Abstract Poetry contest

Details | Footle | |


Snow falls
Fun calls

Old folks 
Wear cloaks 

Snow slide
Sleighs ride

Cold day
Kids play

Snow fight
Cool sight 

Round balls
Crash walls

Good hit
Kid’s split

Cold nose
Froze toes

Ó February 5, 2012
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

Details | Verse | |

Family Dinner

Everyone is dressed just right,

with our smiles slapped on tight,

we are having a family dinner.

The mood is tense,

yet we have to make sense,

and we can always talk about the weather.


We blow kisses and show our love,

everything is just right.

We shower praises over each other,

and pray that the night is over without a flight.


Ignore the bitter-in-law,

she needs some sugar.

She vowed to deny herself happiness,

since she lost her lover.


Pay attention to the chatty uncle.

He claims to be rich although he eats like a savage.

just nod your head and seem interested,

and hope the topic does not turn to marriage.


Sit away from the young brother,

once an answer to his question, he is on to another.

To the old man he asks,"So what do you do?"

and to the orphan child,"Where is your mother?"


The room is beautiful, the food is delicious,

a night with our near and dear.

This could well be the perfect family dinner,

but only the flowers in the room seem real.

Details | Acrostic | |

Easter EGG, Abecedarian: with egg shape-

                       April Aroma...
                     Beckons Beauty.
                   Come Children!!!....
                 Daisies Daffodil.........
                Fun Filled Freedom.......
                  Giddy Giggly Games...
                    How ya' Hangin'???
                       Just Jolly Joey!

              HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!!!

Details | Senryu | |

Quit Running

mom say's
quit running !!!!

Details | Light Poetry | |

Poof of Smoke

In a Poof of Smoke, and a Raging Flame! We went running for our lives!
Dragon was at it, again! He had heartburn throughout the night, That’s Right!
You took the penguins to the Zoo, to visit friends, and ate everything in sight?
What on Earth DID you eat? Whatever, ‘DON’T EAT it again, ALL RIGHT?’

Anchovies? Smothered in barbecue sauce. That’s all! Are you, really sure?
What! Then seven all day lollipops, plus a case of soda pop, or two, or more?
Six Cotton candies, Dipping Dots with a few Braunswager sandwiches, besides? 
And where was Grandpa Troll? Let me guess! He was eating there at your side?

Then a pepperoni Pizza plus a few hot dogs slathered in mustard and sauerkraut? 
For Dessert SOME great big Chocolate chip cookies, those super-sized ones?
All sugar and made to fit in a pizza pan. And don’t forget his favorite thing… 
It had more barbecue sauce slathered on top, with more ready to go! OH NO!

Someone better send for the fire department… This baby is a going to blow!!!
Trolls eat ANYTHING! Not little Dragons! Shame on you, Grandpa Troll!
Start bringing in the antacids, just a case or two! And as for you… You Know!
NO MORE babysitting, Grandpa Troll! Hurry! Someone CALL the Vet! Whoa!

Bring the gas masks for everyone to wear, and turn on the exhaust, full to roll!
Clear out the steam and blue haze! Hey! Stop, where YOU ARE, Grandpa Troll!
The rest of you go! Go get the hose! Fire extinguishers won’t do the job, atoll!
Not nearly enough! This isn’t over, yet! You’ll need to burp him, Grandpa Troll!

We don’t want Dragon in pain, if he can’t get those nasty gas flames out NOW!
Flames AHOY! Look out below! They’re even coming out his backside, WOW!
Grandpas’ are made to spoil their grand kids? What! That’s not what they meant!
He’s not a TROLL, you crazy thing! You nuts? I thought you smarter, than that!

Poor little guys in misery! If the house burns down, it’ll totally, be your fault!
This is just another lesson learned for all of us, in our dear, little Dragons’ life!
The vet said to keep burping the poor, dear, thing, as sugar is a firestorm catalyst.
Says he’ll be fine by morning. Thank God! My Poor, sweet, little, thing! OH, MY!

Grandpa Troll, when this is over, it’s your turn, for time out, at the lake. Oh well! 
Someone get the marshmallows out! Let’s Sing ’Come On Baby Light My Fire’!
Or else, it’s going to be a long, long night! Here’s the fire department and the vet!
Keep burping him Grandpa Troll! I’m sure, eventually, it’ll going to be, just fine! 

Sketch a Character Contest  Carol Eastman   Posted 10-10-2014

Details | Light Poetry | |


Please hire my Hubby! I’m begging you! PLEASE!!!!
He’s now obsessing over his resume’… I’m down on my knees!
Each minute he has… it gets longer! Surely! You DO SEE!
A thousand pages is a bit too much into the details for me…
When HR sees it they’ll be leading the lemmings down the trail!
He calls it detail orientated… In a STRAIGHT face prevailed…
Poor Hubby! My Hubby! What will be his FATE?
Wondrous! AMAZING! He thinks its sooo Great!
But it’s way to long… to seriously contemplate!
Once when handed to HR… It slipped thru their hands… too late!
Didn’t finish the interview… With HR’s broken foot to mend!
When HR hear he’s applying again they close their Doors! Amen!
The newbie is always the one… left to tackle him… in the end!
They once threw his resume’ into the trash, after he walked out the door…
The can fell into pieces… clear across the blooming floor!
To stave off more resumes’ they are now readily equipped!
They ask for an email update… Then hit Delete!
They’ve learned to leave his BOOK on the front desk… for him to see!
Saying they are interested, no less! But… it’s stamped in red ink “OMG”!
As he returns every day, they tell him OMG is for Obviously Mightily Great!
Now! Now! Do you really believe that? Quick HIRE him! I reiterate!
OMG stands for nothing less than… OH! My! God! To you and to me…
Helping with My Son’s School Science Project is WAY too much, to see!
He’s asking how to get technology to rhyme with Lollypop. Over the bend, some?
A newbie asked what he does for fun! DUH! Surely, he can’t be THAT DUMB!
The wife of a genius must never despair, as his ideas expand everywhere… 
He’s funny!… Gee!… I need some more ink! Honestly! I’m running out of ink!
When he heard me say this… All he could do was blink!
COME ON, FOLKS! Give him a job! My laughter is getting EXTREME!
LOL… It won’t be long before I’m popping my clothes at their seams!

Details | Free verse | |

Grandma Was Dancing

She was a tappin' to the tunes...
of those Mississippi blues...
step-pin' out, in her white...
Pat-en-leather shoes,

We were a watchin' her a prancin',
all through the kitchen, dancin'...
for she was & sizzlin'...
hummin' to those Mississippi tunes...

Funny curlers too, upon...
her head...for a new... Hair dew,...
she was, a swirlin'-in that bakers apron,
when her a bobbin' to...
those Mississip-pi blues,

'Pots were a knockin'...
Grandma a sockin' down all she brews,
while that kettle there was whistlin',
in har-mo-ny, with them good ole...
good ole...mississip-pi moves,'

That floor there, was a bouncin'
holdin' hands we were a jumpin',
an-a hoppin' In the kitchen, to those...
                  sounds ...
Where Grandma's feet were a stompin',
In her new...New-white-sexy-pat-en-
(ya hoo)

Details | Diminished Hexaverse | |

Penny Pincher

I am a poor girl
I do not earn much
I am tight spending
Nothing comes easy
So I waste nothing

Pennies I pick
From off the street
Cares not who sees
It does add up

My family
They call me
Penny pinch

That’s fine
They dine


For Rhonda & Cyndi's Penny Pantoums

Details | Rhyme | |


What's in a sound, that has no word
But to our souls and spirits it’s the best thing heard
Laughter is a pleasant sound, 
It spreads joy all around.
Whether you're young or old, laughter can be like magic to our souls
Even with a joke to a boring person laughter can control
A cure for something that seems impossible to endure
Laughter comes spontaneously
And makes you happier instantly
I think worry is an invisible tumor 
But it can be cured by humor 
To giggles, sniggers, chuckles, mutters, murmurs, and mumbles
I laugh so hard my words start to stutter and stumble
Who could not love the sound of laughter to it there is such a happy ring
And the simple gift of laughter it is such a wonderful thing
Laughter is the best medicine
While crying is an unforgivable sin
To laugh is always such great fun 
It relieves the soul, the heart, and the lungs 

“The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.” 
 Shirley MacLaine

Details | Light Poetry | |

Granny Tipping

My son is getting older, and he just went back to College, the other day.
But he had enjoyed the summer, by adding a new game to his daily play.
He called it Troll Tipping as daily he targeted another, and wore him out.
By dinner, the Troll would fall asleep, as my son claimed his dessert, so devout.

But wearing out a Troll, is not such an easy thing, so many a night, a Troll got his.
What a shame! But as a resourceful college man, at devising plans he was a whiz.
He offered them a Fun Filled Tip, yes, a way to get others, to do their daily chores.
The cost to each individual Troll, was their sweet dessert, that night, nothing more.

He was doing great, as he ran thru many a Troll, but then our suspicions did unfold.
You see, this bred unrest, as a number of fights started, amongst our beloved Trolls.
Scheming isn’t sharing, so Grandpa Troll had a TALK, life changing, or so it’s told.
But Boys are boys, and desserts were to be had, so he made a new plan, quite bold.

You might say he invented Granny Tipping, yes, now it was MY dessert, on the line.
Now this would be quite simple, for at my age, I can easily, become tiredly inclined.
But the one thing he’d forgot: is how crafty age had made this old one, in her efforts. 
As dinner wound down, I cued Grandpa Troll, to help deliver, those delicious desserts.

I told my son, that they were made to be his favorite, simply in honor, of his behalf.
Then I pretended to fall asleep, and he quickly took my dessert, with a joyous laugh.
Then suddenly his eyes grew big! And I awoke, looking him quite clearly, in the eye.
I lied that, I added laxatives and terrible cod liver oil, to my dessert nightly, yes, so sly. 

Making them easier to swallow, but if he wanted more dessert, he only had to ASK.
He quickly sped away, to wash that terrible taste, out of his mouth, a daunting task!
And we all had our chance to laugh at him… as the joke was finally on him, at last.
I call this, Bad Behavior Tipping, and from that day to this, he asks for more, at last!

The game seemed to lose its luster that day, yes, manners did a BIG, comeback.
The moral is to politely ask… Playing clever little games… is NEVER for the best!

Details | Rhyme | |

My Cousin's Wedding

Trying to remember my family on a three hour ride
'cause I'm going once again to see a new bride.
This makes number three for poor cousin Vinny,
the last two was crazy but at least they were skinny.

The new one he's got looks like a man.
He calls her sweetie but I call her Stan.
He's five foot four and she's six foot five.
My poor cousin vinny might not survive.

She use to carry lumber down at the mill,
but now she's a wrestler her name is 'Big Kill'.
Standing six foot five with a linebackers head.
If this one goes south poor vinny is dead.
He swears to us all that he loves her alot,
but I think he's lying so he won't get shot.

My cousin Vinny is lost without any clue,
and the woman he loves wears a size 19 shoe.
 But I'll always come and support his new mess,
'cause each time he marries my wife gets a new dress.

Dustin Self (my cousin's wedding contest)

Details | Limerick | |

She really did get this call

I wish I could be a fly on the wall,
When my poor old mother gets the phone call,

        “He’s here at the bar
        Quick bring us your car,

Your husband just got in a brawl”

Details | Rhyme | |

When a Monster Comes to Visit

It’s midnight and your sleeping
When someone knocks upon your door
Who could be there at this hour?
No one’s come this late before

You grab your robe and slippers
And shuffle across the floor
All the while you are thinking
Who’s that knocking at my door?

As you reach the door you hesitate
You don’t know who’s outside
It could be a thief or mugger
Should I run or should I hide?

Then the knock comes even louder
Your heart is pounding in your chest
Sweat is dripping off your forehead
And you can’t catch your breath

So you peek out through a curtain
And can’t believe your eyes
There’s a monster starring at you
With red and glowing eyes

And then you see him smile
As he motions toward your door
He wants to come inside
But what on earth for

Maybe he’s just hungry
He might want a late night snack
If I feed him and I’m nice
Will he keep coming back

So you open the door a little
Not much but just a crack
And your heart jumps from your chest
When you see what’s looking back

He’s ten foot tall and hairy
From his head down to his toes
His eyes are red and glowing
And he says his name is, “ROSE!”

My big hairy monster
That came knocking at my door
Isn’t all that scary
Not to me not anymore

He’s not a he at all
He’s a girl you see
And all she wants is cookies
Cookies and hot tea

So we sat at the table
And talked till after four
Then Rose said, “thank you oh so much”
And I said, “come back again for more”

So when a monster comes to visit
Make some cookies and hot tea
I know she’s big a scary
But Rose is sweet to me

Details | Epigram | |

Stuck On You

braces interlocked - told him no kissing

Details | Limerick | |

Double Disappointment

I woke up in rapture, when she started to sing.
Naughty whispers in my ears, “Someone’s coming”
My ecstatic view;
A child is due!
Then she continues, “My mother’s visiting”

Details | Rhyme | |

A Christmas Dinner Memory

Listening to the roosters crow brings thoughts
Memories of when I was very young
There was a rooster who wasn't store-bought
He had strong masculine traits and strong lungs

He would loudly crow, strut, and fight the best
The day he flew at me and tried to spur
Was the day his name became the fowl pest
On Christmas Eve he met his fate_ yes, sir
'Pon that fated day he crowed his last crow
His fancy strutt in the pot mom did stir
The feet, the neck, tips of wings she did throw
When those were done, dumplings she did transfer

The meal was done and all sat down to eat
Mom passed the dumplings around and served me
In the dumplings on my plate landed his feet
Laughter around the table showed our esprit

Sponsor: Francine Roberts
Contest: Christmas Dinner With Humor
Completed 12/17/12
Minimum 12 lines
Christmas day the rest was boiled and dressing made...

Details | Free verse | |

Crayola Crayon Time

i prefer them bitten off =center
(a slow lick on a hard knife edge)
 a shecat sparkling like pinwheels
on the silky hilltops of waterbeds..
the ones that make you obsess -why they're one hour
-five minutes 
why their mascaras messy,
making you waife their cologned necks,
checking for that strange strong scent
turn you into some kind of burning,paronoid
jittery flake.

i like'em a little mousy,a little off the 
a chick that can spit with class
kick the living MAN outta me...
A fireball that contorts and concocts,
attends to every want and need...
(ya know what i mean?)
hum-ta-dum...ta-dum... ta-dee 

but in the end what I really need
what we all need
a crisco oiled apron
the one mamma used to don
a lullaby in the quiet cove of a racing mind 
reminding me of {dead} mother's...
undivided attention...
way back in Crayola Crayon time

Details | Limerick | |

It's All About The Ring Tone

I'm afraid of my cell phone I confess
"Someone" changed the ring tone to cause me stress
While I took a  nap
He switched it to rap
Now when my phone rings I'm really a mess

"Someone" being my grandson Jordan..
 I finally got him to change it

For the Techno-Limerick contest

Details | Clerihew | |


The lure of Angelina Jolie Turns single Brad into an instant daddy Raising brood in and out of jet flights Their kids can’t figure mornings from nights --------- PD’s Battle of the Clerihew #2 By nette onclaud

Details | Bio | |

My Life These Days

Leonora I am a loyal, loving, caring and responsible friend and sister The only daughter of my loving parents , Manuela and deceased father Leonilo Lover of poetry, arts (portraits and painting) and playing piano Who feels alone, exhausted and so bored Who fears loss of love, loss of life and snake is the most Who would like to see different countries, future kids and great poets on poetry soup A proud resident of Candon which is not a boarder of Canada and London Galinta
written: Oct. 1,2012 First Place Contest: Life These Days Poem Judged: Sponsor: Poet Carol Sunshine Brown

Details | Limerick | |

All In The Family

<                          once Edith laid her hot iron flat
                            husband Archie called her his dingbat
                            then son-in-law ~ meathead
                            put iron on dam bed
                            boy fire did make Jefferson scat

Written By 
Katherine Stella 10/30/11
Entry For Techno - Limericks Contest 
To Be Co-Judge  G.L. All

Just Gotta Love That Archie LOL

Note Please Never Leave Your Iron On
Can Really Ruin Your Day Yikes

Details | Burlesque | |

Suburban Spring

Suburban Spring	

	Springtime fills the air, 
			like laughing gas.
		(Or maybe more like whiskey.)
The suburbs are drunk on the nectar of it's dawn.
	Middle-class houses 
			are starting to dance.
		(Or maybe they're just wobbling.)
They vomit whole families onto their lawn.

			I watch them the same way dogs watch TV:
				Confused and intrigued, 
		with a slight urge to pee.

	The father cuts grass, 
			like a sleepwalker.
		(Or maybe more like a zombie -
Ravenous for cheap beer, instead of brains.)
	A six pack later, 
			he starts washing his car.
		(Or watering his driveway.)
He's spreading on wax so he's set when it rains.

	The mother kneels in dirt, 
			tending the garden.
		(More like digging in a sandbox.)
Her spade is rusty.  (Figuratively, at least.)
	A sunset later, 
			she cooks family dinner.
		(Or maybe orders some pizza.)
(If every mouth is fed, she can call it a feast.)

			I watch them the same way dogs watch TV.

	The son plays war games, 
			dying for fun.
		(Or maybe more for practice.)
He whines about fruit drinks, as well as the heat.
	A full pitcher later, 
			tweaking on sugar,
		(Or maybe just corn starch.)
the war escalates, 'til its time to go eat.

	The daughter makes a picnic, 
			inviting her toys.
		(Or maybe not.)
(Her plastic spread can only spread so thin!)
	After the tea time, 
			she's off picking flowers.
		(Or maybe weeds.)
(As long as they're pretty, there's a vase that they'll fit in.)

		They gather, as a family, at the table to say grace.
		They hold each others' hands and say, "Amen."  
			(And proceed to stuff their face.)

	The dog sits by the boy - 
			Loyal and true.
		(Or maybe just hungry.)
He drools as he stares from the corners of his eyes.
	After dinner, 
                     he offers to help with the dishes.
		(Or maybe he demands it.)
The boy sneaks him a bite.  The dog is not surprised.

	Bedtime comes soon after.  
			The kids are sent to brush their teeth.
		(Or maybe just to run the sink.)
They put on their jammies, and to bed, they go.
	After tucking them in, 
			the parents watch TV.
		(Or maybe they just dream they do, 
					sleeping in its glow.)

	The dog is changing channels, 
			looking for a better show.
				Confused and intrigued, 
		he pees on the carpet below.

Details | Free verse | |

Duck Side Story

You have your North side ducks, 
And you have your south side ducks.
Neither the twain shall meet.
For each one had his nose in the air. 
They simply would not do the greet.

So as it happens they would dance with flair in the middle of the pond.
Always trying to out do the other side…Yes, let’s call it ‘Stomp The Pond’
Wings in motion lifting them up, to stomp the waters with their feet
Acrobatics and splashing around… Man it looked so neat.

So Stella, one of the South Side Ducks fell in love with her North side Pete.
But she couldn’t cross the middle of the pond, with so much action in the way.
Fussing, blustering, and carryings on were the name of the day.

But you know, there’s always one strange duck, and that’s the one who built a bridge.
Now all the others could come across or watch the stomp from the middle of the id.
My moral, I say to you young ones… is as appealing as stomping can be…
The world works better when brought together… 
By the builders of a bridge.

Details | Rhyme | |

A Mother's discipline

With soap in hand placed in my mouth
Head hangs over toliet tongue heads south
Dirty words no more

Details | Couplet | |

Where does the Time go

I feel as though time is slipping away,
And more is gone each passing day…

Details | Pantoum | |


I found forty rusty pennies in a black leather slipper
while my itchy nose sneezed more than three times;
why were they hidden from thrifty mother?
Weren't they less valued than silver dimes?

While my itchy nose sneezed more than three times,
mom woke up to scold me for my loud laughter;
she was mad and wanted to hear anything but lies
and frantically screaming, she pulled my curly hair. 

Mom woke to scold me for my loud laughter,
I tripped on the slipper, falling flat as a bear, 
and frantically screaming, she pulled my curly hair;
with an angered face, I retrieved to my dark lair.

She was mad and wanted to hear anything but lies,
mom woke up to scold me for my loud laughter;
with an angered face, I retrieved to my dark lair...
I found forty rusty pennies in a black leather slipper.

Details | Limerick | |

Fire In The Hole

<                                        once there was ten devious children
                                          oh how they did a poor little sin
                                          brother had passed some gas
                                          they lit match to his ass
                                          dam dog was even wearing a grin

Entry For
John Freeman's
Giggle Poetry Contest # 2
G.L. All

Details | Lyric | |

It's My Birthday, It is Your Birthday

It’s My Birthday

It’s my birthday…  I look out the window there is no one for me owe so, owe so lonely poor me . 

It’s my  birthday…  you surprise me, with a Barber-Q grill  with a cooler that chills with a grin we show white grills.

Happy Birthday… it’s my Birthday I am still waiting,  it   is almost the end of my the day, just waiting on you to wish me a happy birthday which, well make my day. 

It’s my birthday…you do not remember that day, can we go out for we can remember that day?

It’s my birthday… I can share it or alone, some share it with a twin, or with a friend and the ones who stay to the ends like a good friend.

It my birthday…  its looks like another day to me I just need someone or something to comfort with me a room full of women and with hand full men, a juice in cup, juice in glass, with a sweet lady and grill on cut grass that may make every day feel like my birthday, with a touch of class. 
It’s your birthday… it’s your birthday you should all-ways win on your birthday, if do not have a mate you sneak and go on second party date form those who may player hate.  
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday!  it comes and go, I see you come through, looking out my window with a hand full company that is what a party really should need, yes it’s sweet, sweet with music and sweet with treats or  it must be the money, or food, or brinks, or just me.

Poetry 7/7/12 by author Keith Kadell

Details | I do not know? | |

The King Of The Forest

If I were the King of the Forest 

I,d have a laptop installed in every tree

a GPS for lionesses

 robots for cleaning messes

there'd be no need for marking territory with pee 

If I were the King of the Forest

 I,d stop this stuff of parading around in the buff

 there'd be a law against snoring 

silk blanketed flooring 

and no loud roaring trying to prove that your tough

If I was the King of the Forest 

I,d have a delivery boy deliver my meat 

Hunting and gathering might be bold 

but what about when I get old?

 Besides I,ll eat the delivery boy for my treat 

If I were the King of the Forest

 I,d have a stylist to do my mane

 I,d use the best shampoo 

some conditioner too 

Hey, if you're the King you're supposed to be vain

If I were the King of the Forest

I,d invite the Whole World for a unique meet and greet

 from the bankers to the florists 

you can all be the tourists 

and have a chance to sit in the King's seat 

If I were the King of the Forest

 it would be a great and wonderful town 

I,d build a fast modern train 

with a sign that says, "Come Again"

 Heck, I'd even let you try on the King's crown!

Details | Light Poetry | |


My grandma's strawberry jelly i love to eat it and fill my belly. It's so sweet it will make you pucker o ya it is better then smucker's. She stayed up all day and night to make it just right so i could have some when i go to stay with her tomorrow night.

Details | Narrative | |

How to Burn a Field

(Good Advice Spurned)

Grandmother packed a picnic lunch.
Brother, sister, and I, with two uncles
traipsed into the woods,
in search of adventure.

We found it.
We ate our picnic lunch, sitting 
on a fallen tree, spanning the creek.

We sampled “Rabbit Ice,” formed 
on weeds, hugging the stems
in smooth, thin white curls.
We drank creek water in cupped hands,
so cold, we shivered.

“Let’s build a fire,” my brother said.
Uncle Larry cautioned, “You’d better not. 
You’ll set the field on fire.”
We built the fire,
warmed our cold hands.

As the circle of fire began to spread,
we beat it with branches,
water carried from the creek in our hats. 
Undaunted, the fire ate up the dry grass,
spreading like a pond ripple
from a rock thrown in.

Uncle Larry refused to join
our efforts to ‘beat out’ the fire.
He stood, callously laughing
at our futile efforts.
The entire field burned.

We worried all afternoon.
What would Granddad say,
when he saw the black field
from the kitchen window?

Details | Limerick | |

Oh Snap

<                              amidst afternoon's summer's pose / nap
                                are nana's two little handsome chaps
                                logan and just lucas
                                bonded secured by trust
                                brotherly love now don't make me snap
Written By Katherine Stella 5/15/11

Entry For Miranda Lambert's
Brotherly Love Contest

Details | I do not know? | |

MY neice Angela

Youe are so funny
always making me laugh out loud
Makes the day sunny
You stand out in a croud
Even though your only five three
always crazy and insain
You are care free
An never show your pain
My best friend since birth
My kids buddy and aunt
Best little person on earth
You think we ingnore you but we can't

Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

My Uncle Gladys

Have you heard about my renowned uncle, Gladys
Who by sexual makeup had an Aunt’s status.

Well, he or she, you can use whatever you want;
Like I just said, this uncle is loosely an aunt.

Anyways, she had to remove all her mirrors,
Since she said, each of them made too many errors.

She claimed that they never reflected her splendor;
While we thought, they couldn’t decide on a gender.

In any case, she seemed a hallucination,
But Aunty was more of an amalgamation.

And if you dared to ask most people’s opinion,
They’d say she was pieced from the animal kingdom.

She smiled like a jackal and grinned like a badger,
And her lips resembled those of a fly catcher.

Her frizzy head of hair, was pin-striped like a skunk’s,
And her mammoth nose swung like an elephant’s trunk.

Her eyes were as piercing as that of a boa,
Or any old reptile collected by Noah.

We played with her sideburns that were like Wolverines’,
Although our moms made sure we got extra vaccines

See, Gladys had kindness in a strong manly way,
With her big old bear hug that could crush a Steinway.

We must admit, Gladys had some fine attributes,
That may show up some day in oddball film tributes.

To be shown nationwide for the weird and plucky,
But my cousins and I would still think it’s yucky.

Anyhow, it’s time to stop picking on Gladys,
By switching over to her only son, Alice.  

David Fisher, 11/22/14, iambic hexameter,
For Giorgio's contest

Details | Tanka | |

My Boo

<                          halloween haunting's
                       black shoe polish foundation
                             ruby red lipstick
                       pillow stuffed under big dress
                        red white bandana for hair

                               spatula in hand 
                       eggbeater in dress pocket
                              pillowcase for loot
                       daddy's boots causing blisters 
                          aunt jemima memories 

Entry For
Paula Sweanson's
Halloween Of Tears Past

Tribute To Childhood Memories

Details | Couplet | |

Fastest Gun In The West

<                                      Now hold on there Tex !
                                        Let me get     dressed  !

                                        Let me saddle up my horse
                                        To trollop around this Halloween course

                                        Got on my chaps
                                        My spurs and cowboy hat

                                       Replica's of forty five's
                                       Riding on my hips very high

                                       With lasso in my hand
                                       This little cowboy has a plan

                                      So all you ghost and goblins
                                      It's candies bounty I'll be coming an robbing

                                      And I'll be taking  loot for mummy
                                      And for my daddy who has a bigger tummy

                                                  Happy Halloween To All
                                   Especially little tikes who are so cute and small

Entry For 
Halloween Costume Contest
G.L. All




Details | Limerick | |

Mothers Day

Mothers are the best 
They are like a test
They are very loving 
They like a flower budding
The treat us like a fest.

Details | Rhyme | |

Mum's Christmas Dinner

She stays awake for hours, cutting Xs in the sprouts,
Then peels all the tatties, a ton or thereabouts,
Slicing and dicing parsnips is next up in the plan,
Chops up carrots and a swede, and put them in a pan,
Mixes up her sage and onion and stuffs it in the bird,
Along with some pork sausage meat that’s been pre-prepared,
She takes apart the oven, to fit the turkey in,
Hangs it up with bits of string, there’s no room in the tin,
Wraps sausages in bacon, in case they catch a chill,
But makes sure they‘re all cooked thoroughly, so the family won’t get ill,
Cooks the bird for hours, while the table’s being laid,
With all the finest crockery (and some of lower grade),
Makes space around the table, brings in extra chairs,
Adorns the place with candles and other Christmas wares,
Lays out a Christmas cracker in everybody’s place,
Complete with rather tacky joke, no doubt of a straight face,
And brings out all the condiments, the pickles and the sauce,
The salt and pepper, the mustard and radish known as “horse”,
Next she makes the starter, the simplest course by far,
A cocktail made up of prawns and a sauce out of a jar.
The family then all piles in, and argues over seats,
The children are already full of chocolates and treats,
Grandmother is mumbling, “Kids should be seen not heard”,
Meanwhile back in the kitchen Mum’s wrestling with the bird,
She tries to carve up slices, but ends up with turkey chunks,
While Dad and Gramps have become a pair of Christmas drunks,
They start an argument about which wine goes with the meat,
And restless children run around, not staying in their seat,
Mother tries to keep her calm and bravely soldiers on,
But the roasties are all blackened and the sprouts are over done,
Mum enters the dining room looking very puffed,
She throws the turkey down and shouts ,“There you go! Get stuffed!”

18th November 2012

Details | Couplet | |

Mr Inquisitive

Could a scythe cut a slice
from a sycamore tree?
If a bird had no feathers
what bird would it be?
If a square had three corners
would it still be a square?
Will your curls always swirl
if you tug at your hair?

My curls will always swirl
For questions make them so
You will question me ‘why’
when my answer is ‘no’.
If I answer you  ‘yes’
You will question with ‘how’
If a tree could grow knowledge
I'd reach for a bough.

Details | Rhyme | |

Surprise Surprise

His adoring wife told her hubby that she was with child!
He was so overjoyed he walked on air to put it mild!
He started making immediate plans for a handsome little boy,
That he could hunt and fish with and bring him untold joy!

A football, baseball and soccer ball were on his shopping list.
A closet full of sports stuff - things he just could not resist!
He bought a box of cigars, the labels reading, "It's A Boy!"
He painted the nursery a sickly blue much to his wife's annoy!

They settled back to await the big event and he began to muse,
Upon the young lad's future and the career he might choose.
"Why, he'll be President of these United States I have no doubt,
Or perhaps a senator in the Congress where he'll carry lots of clout!"

"Maybe a four-star general in the Air Force wearing a suit of blue,
Or a famous research scientest finding a cure for the flu!
Hollywood, I'm sure, will call wanting to make him a star;
Perhaps a renowned attorney defending hapless souls before the bar!"

Momma delivered a charming little bundle and what do you think?
She presented Papa with the cutest little girl all wrapped up in pink!
He tenderly cuddled and kissed her as he proudly proclaimed,
"President of these United States she'll be, the first to be so named!"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Details | Acrostic | |


Beaming sun upon my back
Establish my summer days
A beach, my boys, a blanket, and
Cold drinks, as I soak my rays
Hoping to darken my tan

Bronzing as the babies play
Lotioned head-to-toes
Applied Aveeno Baby, even to their nose
No frowns for the camera, 1-2-3, strike a pose.
Keen eye set on them, as the breeze gently blows
Easy and relaxed, my eyes begin to doze
Todd takes patrol, so I can repose & lay

Bestirred by buckets of water
Ice cold on sunkissed flesh
Now they're gonna get it good, I
Grab the cooler full of ice, and rush
Out in the sun, our time is spent the best

~Miranda Lambert~
Contest: Beach Blanket Bingo - Sweetheart

Details | Ode | |

An Ode To A Dead Apple

Ode To A Dead Apple
Oh poor Dan what can we say
He’s had such bad news delivered today
His Apple Mac that’s virus free
As expensive and speedy as can be.
To do your work is such a breeze 
Bug free it does not catch a sneeze
But what the Apple people did not do
Was protect it from the likes of you
Your Apple Mac that you so love
Is put to rest and looks down from above.
The death of your Mac is hard to take
Don’t do anything stupid for goodness sake
It was tired with all the work you do
And sleepy just like De and you
But listen to some advice that’s free
Never give it any more coffee or tea.
© 21/06/2102~GG~

To my poor Nephew that has spilled a mug of Coffee and Killed his Mac

Details | Limerick | |

Rock Paper Scissors

<                          I once played rock paper and scissors
                            never dreamed theres so many gizzards
                            somehow loves this game too
                            well I just said oh phoo
                            and had to show them who was wizzard

Details | Nonet | |

Little Hell Raisers { Nonet}

<                             I'm going on journey ~ back in time
                               When I should of listened to my .... heart
                               But instead just followed ....  head 
                               What a mistake that .... was
                               Let me tell you .... now
                               Poor old ... lady
                               Didn't ... do
                               Noth ~ ing
                               Wrong !

                              Carrying her groceries home from the ... store
                              Me ~ brother ~ sister ~ brother's ... friend
                              Tossing lit~ firecrackers
                              Laughing ... and .... giggling 
                              Looking ~ for ... trouble
                              And here she ... came
                              Four ..... against
                              Just ... one
                              Wow   !

                              Bet poor old women didn't .... expect
                              Handfull of lit .... firecrackers
                              To be tossed in her own .... bags
                              Others ran like .... dickens
                              I stayed and helped   ...  her
                              Picked up her ... stuff
                              And ... carried
                              Them ... all
                              Home !
Entry For
Linda Marie's
A Journey Back In Time
G.L. All

Details | I do not know? | |

Ashley For My 4 Year Old GrandDaughter

Petite, dainty,
charming and sweet.
Hair the shade,
of Autumns golden wheat.
Her favorite color, 
"Green" is what she'd say.
"Green as grass"
on a summers day.
Maybe a hairdresser,
she loves cutting bangs and curls.
Two other siblings how lucky,
both girls.
"But oh, mommy, 
can't you see"
"How much more beautiful, they are,
because of me"
Mommy says, 
"What am I to do"
"No matter what,
I still love you"

Details | Couplet | |

Sexy Kiss

We share a look from across the room and I saunter into your arms,
No matter how hard I try to defy, I can never resist your charms;

You slip a hand behind my head and drag me into your kiss,
You tantalize my senses as I lose myself to bliss;

Desire takes over my body as you take my breath away,
We stand in utter silence, we’ve nothing left to say;

There is an overpowering smell of whiskey and cheap perfume,
But locked in a passionate kiss, we’re alone in the crowded room;

Your kisses taste so potent, I savor the exotic flavor of you,
Your intoxicating to my senses, like the sweetest morning dew;

Wrapped in a fervent embrace, our bodies meld to form one;
I lose myself to you and it’s only just begun...

Details | Carpe Diem | |


If its money I got its money ill keep. If its money I have its money ill weep. If its love that I give its love ill receive. For I am but no one who just see's beneath. Some say your only as strong as you feel, but how could we a place that's so unreal. People are hearing but..not really hearing. Why is the world so blind. I keep on screaming and screaming and screaming for things to be revolutionized. I am just a small song in a world full of cries, laughter, tears and french-fries.

Details | Prose Poetry | |

My In Heritage

To know your history is to know your literature a lesson to learn, which will Stand the test of time and what one founds of their in heritage no matter how enduring and grim it may seem it something you should embrace- I came from a small city with big roots and routinely I was ask “where are you from”, especially from girls, if it wasn’t that it he thinks he cutie? And I’m asking why I would say something like that. Or He thinks him smart, God!!! I’m just answer the teacher question? But when I got older, older woman told me they probably think that ascent was sexy and I’m thinking where in high school what do they know about sexy? Man is her computer seat warm? America woman I just don’t understand them? I wonder what they do if they heard me speak a few difference language at same time? Thank god I’m quite because it not like they can read my mind. But it got me thinking from and questioning My Roots- What I found was the name Borgo had many difference Ethnicity & meaning with it as well as nationalities and that Borgo is Small Island between France and Italy. And if history may not mention it was a Borgia who captured Napoleon? How do I know where did it take place? BorgoBaby- No wonder I like Caribbean woman and it is this one that get my heart beat beating up to 400 beats per seconds if that is possible I can’t say it is a forbidden love but what I will say is breaking the ice and melt when think out loud? And yes she knows my name but why ask not why but why are some lyrics so deep my dear? Remember some old friends asking don’t you make beats? As I have some bread and tea. And that Bourbon is a drink, a Pecan Pie and a Street I’m thinking man if I have girlfriend What date it would be- Then I dig deeper and found the prime sources that seem to let to these events the Borgia or borja married into royalty which happen to be Louisa Borgia who married Philp De Bourbon or Philip V of Spain. He was rejected as King Louis legitimate son because born out of wedlock but later accepted but Philp never forgave and where he could have been both king of France and Spain he was just the king of Spain. Question I ask do any one know today the real reason why France has no nationality? Hurtfully to write or hear but i heritage mean full name as should other take to one, I have heard rumors that true bloodlines of nations of Kings that don’t rightfully take the throne it is a reason for that but not my place to say the way history is written is just to say to remember men wrote history but literature holds another tell? Who can tell the differences, but one question for god I always ask Why so much war my lord, I truly feel like a man without a country and Just walking away- I myself never came from money I start literally from nothing but as I got older I was given legitimate connection legitimate ideas and principals and the understanding of wealth but so trying of spending night and days with no day off of a seven day week wonder if I can make those principals work for me as sick as I am there are reason undefined why I do this things and money is not the endorsement my life is more complication then eye may receive to capture but if you listen you learn more than just hand written if you get the drift- I was never told of my in heritage put as one will it something like a scare or tattoo I had to found to adjust to my nick name is “Jason” but my full name is Louis Antonio Borgo III as I’m about to fall to sleep and lost all aim of conscience I see a email with my full name spell out in question how did they know I was search for them and if I ever be accepted from this other half as I am a man literally without a country and in love with French woman more than American the phone rings and a woman from Canada called speaking French I drop the phone and finally I fall to sleep and As I sleep dreaming could anyone imagine wanting to go home but where? Remembering the ringing noise of girls ask ” where are you from”...

Details | Limerick | |

Full Circle

Just out of college, we would yearn for a touch
Sleeping together cuddled on the couch
Those were the days!
Of pre-wedding bouquets
Now I am told to go sleep alone on the couch

Details | Rhyme | |

My Favorite Devonshire

Mimes at my Funeral
When my time is done and I am finally laid to rest
I don’t want to be recalled as one who lived life depressed

So as I wrote my will, I chose to leave some instructions
That laughing gas be inhaled by all those at the function

No mournful eulogies will a pastor have to invent
For my funeral will be held under a circus tent

When dozens of clowns emerge from the tiny Volkswagen
Reams of my silly limericks Bozo will be dragin’

And as they’re read aloud, family and friends who knew me best
Will say, “She had a sense of humor, this we can attest.”

Mimes will mimic me trying to write the world’s best novel
As my corpse hangs from the trapeze, surely they will marvel

Laughter will ensue as they shoot me from the cannon
Flying high in my demise across the great Grand Canyon

All the children will smile and there’ll be no tears allowed
So no one will ever remember me as a “dark cloud”

There are people who seem to take life way too seriously 
When I meet my Maker, don’t view this as a tragedy

Dad called me his “happy girl,” so let me go out that way
I want to leave them laughing as I reach my judgment day

I chose this poem because it captures the way Aunt Carolyn lives her life.  Always the prankster, she adds laughter to all family gatherings.  And those “silly limericks” are favorites among family members.  We tend to take death too seriously.  We can’t do anything about it, so why not live it up here and in the hereafter.  I’ll let you know if we find her in the Grand Canyon.

Details | Rhyme | |

A Halloween Scene: The Morning After

I hope you slept well. I hope you slept tight
I hope the creepy crawlies didn't come in the night
Did you open your eyes? Did you take in the sight
Of a hovering figure, pale and white?

Did you feel the cold breath? Did you feel the sharp bite?
Did the moaning and screaming give you a fright?
Did you show all your fear? Did you hide in the light?
As your wide eyes and shivering make them excite.

Did you hear from outdoors, victims’ helpless calls?
Did you hear your name echo outside in the halls?
Did you feel the cold slime 'drip - drip' on your head?
Did you notice the finger tips crawl round your bed?

Were there hand prints and puddles the colour of red?
Were there blood trails of foot prints from the undead?
If you woke up and saw none of what I just said
I'm sure they'll return to your dreams instead

That night may be over but there'll be many more
The undead do not rest; it's what they live for
They thrive on the hunt with a dribbling jaw
So keep your ears open for that creak of your door

Watch for the long fingers that be unforeseen
That creep round the corner, all scaly and green
I'm just happy I lived to tell the tales I've seen
I just hope you all had a Happy Halloween.

Details | Rhyme | |

2 Peas or not 2 P's . that is the question ?

I saw a family of killer whales
In the Irish Sea 
South-East of Wales .
With radar fins and splashing tails 
   Giant masters of the sea .

Free Willie's dream was Hollywood
He made a splash
And that was good
But then again , we knew he could
   But , no Oscar-winner , he .

The family group , all had names 
There was Jonah , Jerry
Jess and James
Zoe , Chloe and Sue were dames
   And Bono swam like God .

Bertha and Babs with flashing eyes
Jack and Jill could synchronize
With Pete and Paul , we could sympathize
   The only " 2 P's in the Pod " ..

Details | Limerick | |

Sons Of An Zeus Man

<                           once came along pair gemini twins
                             castro and pollux from third sign in
                             well sons of an zeus man
                             all from mercury clan
                             sharing wealth of intelligence sin

                            with ever compatible libra scales
                            along with aquarius that wales
                            fire signs given few
                            pisces they known too
                            beneath sun and moon's with semi's tale

Written By Katherine Stella  6/26/11

Entry For Nette Onclaud's
Zodiac Zones Contest
G.L. All

Details | Rhyme | |

Oh Brother

Hey! I am your long lost brother Remember the one who moved over sea? The one who always tormented you, Made you fall and graze your knee. The one who pulled the heads of your dollies, Set fire to your dolls house The one who accidentally while you were out Killed your little pet mouse. The one who called you silly names, And sniggered at your fashion trends The one who always went out of his way To embarrass you in front of your friends The one who told you fairies weren’t real Until you cried and would then still persist The one who broke your childhood dreams When they told you Santa also didn't exist Yes, I am your long lost brother You know, the one who caused you great pain? The one you really, really hoped You would never see again

Details | Verse | |

Single Kisses

Focused on you, a wild demons stare
 With a motion it happens
 A emotion flattens
 As you fall beneath a demons glare
He notices most things that happen
 Might even pick the clothes you wear
 Believe it or not he really does care
 Knows whats best and helps me get there
To perfection the performance blacken when he's scared
 Things fall apart if he's not helping me be prepaired
 Guidence and experience for me his mare
 Sometimes I wonder what it would be like without a demon here
He loves positive reactions with greatness and flair
 And how people love me after he dares
 Carefully he holds me through a very small tear
 Me I guess I am getting used to, just hangin round rare 

Details | Free verse | |

I'm Learning

<                           [ S 1][ T 1][ U 1][ D 2][ E 1][ N 1][ T 1]

Entry For Nancy Jones
7 tile Scrabble Contest 
G.L. All

Details | Rhyme | |

How T Rabbit Got His Name

Their once lived a bunny in the land of Ozark.
He was clever, cool, and funny. Could even hunt in the dark.

One night while hunting small game, he found a ring made of gold.
The ring made him sing and feel incredibly bold.

His voice got so loud he awoke all of the town.
Naked, the bunny panicked and threw on his mom's gown.

People came from all over just to hear his sweet voice.
Then came a dog named Rover, who had a difference of choice!!

Rover threw a sharp stick into the leg of the rabbit.
The ring fell out his pocket and Rover just had to have it!

He knew the ring is why people liked the Bunny's new sound.
But since it was night the ring couldn't be found.

The people dragged off the bunny and helped his leg heel.
Others surrounded poor Rover, chanting loudly out, "KILL!"

"That's one terrific Rabbit!" Stated the king who was short.
So, the bunny was named "T Rabbit!" In their small Ozark court.

The End

Details | Rhyme | |

"There's A Monster In Me Room"

He lay in his bed 
Trembling with fear
Scared of the monsters
That may be near

He called for his dad
And said “I’m scared”
He went under the blankets
And covered his head

“Where’s no monsters son” 
“Not in this house here”
They are scared of me 
“Cause I’ll box their ears”

With his son reassured 
Dad switched off the light
Kissed son on the head 
And said “Goodnight”

An hour later
Came a scream from the room
Dad runs up stairs
And bursts in with a boom

There stood a monster
A Hideous gore
On this occasion it wasn’t
Larry’s mother-in-law

Dad didn’t show his fear
He kicked it on the knee
The monster screamed
As it started to bleed

Then dad pulled it’s nose
And smacked it on the head
The monster was in tears
And this is what it said:

“You hitting” it roared 
“That’s not fare”
“You hurt me knee”
“And pulled out a hair”

“You big bully”
“Why you doing this?”
“I just came in here”
“To give the child a kiss”

Dad rushed to the switch 
And on came the light
He saw the monster
A terrible sight

Dad’s eyes popped
And knew it was the end of his life
It was a crossed eyed woman
The one he called his beloved wife

Details | Tanka | |

Nice Breakfast (Tanka)

this breakfast is nice, 
bacon, eggs, toast on the side 
black coffee to taste 

not one drop going to waste 
yum, yum, me and my tum, tum!

Details | Free verse | |

Christmas Merriment

Snowflakes falling, falling all night
My pine tree adorned, now illuminating under snow
I brush and brush off, unveiling Christmas twinkling lights
Giving the white ground a colorful glow
An appearance of a Hallmark card, I must say
My children gather around the tree in merriment 
Then one by one they form fluffy snowballs
Laughing mischievously they begin to throw them at me
Well you can guess what happens next
Yep, before I was done they are covered in white
Red face and cold we all go indoors for the night
In front of the fireplace tired, beginning to warm
We look at each other and started to grin
Deep belly-laughs replaces the grins
You can't have enough of a good thing

For Nathan's "Christmas Joy" contest

Details | Shape | |

Dad's Gone Fishing

<                                        Well Lets See
                                          If This ~  Will 
                                          Work Out For
                                          All Wonderful              W
                                       Dads Here At Soup        E   F
                                           I                H          N    I
                                          W                A        E       S
                                           I                 P      C         H     
                                           S                P     I            I
                                           H  You All A Y    N             N
                                           F                H  A               G
                                           A                E                    P
                                           T                R                    O
                                           H                E                     L
                                           E                 I                     E T O  CATCH
                                           R                S                      F                   S
                                           S  D  A Y   So                        I  S   H   E  M  O

Details | Couplet | |

Coco For Ten

<                               Coco was his name
                                 Spider monkey all the same

                                Dad worked for zoo
                                Feeder of Coco too

                               Brought the little guy home
                               Boy did Coco love to rome

                               Droppings here and there
                               Mom  covered up his dairy - air

                               Shoulders he did seek
                               Knocking  younger ones off their feet

                                Bananas and salted nuts
                                Made Coco dance and strut

                               Each day a animal of new
                               Dad brought home from the zoo

                               But the one I'll remember the most
                               Was coco who shared my daily toast

Tribute To 
Como Park Zoo
St Paul Minnesota

Coco And Daddy

Can You Imagine
A Monkey Playing
With 10 Kids  LOL


Details | Rhyme | |

'Twas The Day After Christmas

'Twas the day after Christmas and all was not well.
Even the resident mouse dare not stray far from its cell!
The family was snowbound due gale winds and snows.
Each tread lightly to avoid stepping on sensitive toes!

Though Christmas had been rather calm and serene,
The day after, presented a far different scene!
Creatures were stirring - Rusty the dog and Simba the cat.
Both were embroiled again in a long-simmering spat!

From the family room a screaming clamor arose,
Awakening Pa from his afternoon doze!
Seems that the kids could not readily agree,
On what to watch on their new high definitiion TV!

Pa groused about the usual socks and tie he received.
Ma got more potholders and was somewhat aggrieved.
The kids wanted to swap their gifts at the mall.
Pa muttered, "How am I to pay for it all?"

The expensive tree shed its needles - 'twas nearly bare.
Ma proclaimed that leftover turkey would be their fare.
At eventide they settled down for their long winters' naps,
Dreaming of a better outcome for next Christmas - perhaps!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Details | Light Poetry | |

My 12 Days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me…
        A puppy that wouldn’t stop peeing on my tree.
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me…
 	Two Turtle Doves who dropped a load, as I looked up in the tree.
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me…
	Three little kittens that my puppy, chased up daily into the tree.
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…
	Four sets of ornaments to replace, those destroyed by kittens in the tree.
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…
	Five different promises that he would again, put up, The Silly Tree.
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…
	Six strands of lights to replace those chewed on, by my little puppy.
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me…
	Seven hugs and kisses, so I’d PLEASE forget, about the Blooming Tree.
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…
	Eight Trolls a milking, chasing cows thru all my hedgerow shrubbery.
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…
	Nine Trolls a dancing, that all fell on, my once beautiful garden fencing.
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…
	Ten Trolls a leaping, as Caroling candles, burned down into their hands.
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me…
	Eleven Trolls a smiling and ready to rebuild my burned down front porch.
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…
	Twelve Trolls a hammering and a nice big bottle of Tylenol… just for me…
Plus the happy thought, I’d survived a Christmas gift, planned with love… just for me.

Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and best wishes for twelve days of Christmas joy.

By CSEastman for: 12 Days of Christmas Contest

Details | ABC | |

The Garbage Truck

As we stop, I pull out my jar of Vic's vapor rub 
I put some up my nostrils, this job you cannot love 
But it pays the bills, I make my living 
Trash day is when people are most giving 
They are selfless when getting rid of what they see as junk 
Whew! That smell from the back of a garbage truck 
I spot a pair of shoes for my kid 
I will wash them first, get rid of the odor of rotted squid 
My niece's birthday is coming up soon 
I found a playhouse with dishes, forks, cups and spoons 
It's family night tonight at home 
The unknown video I found will be shown 
Finding the right stuff is a matter of luck 
It is just my point of view from the back of a garbage truck 
I found a half a bucket of KFC 
I take a smell, it smells as fresh as can be, what a surprise for my family 
Two hours later, the family can't keep their meal down 
They are so ungrateful about the food I found 
I am on a strict budget, I have to find a way to save a couple bucks 
More dinners will be found because I work on the back of a garbage truck 

Details | Senryu | |

Menacing Moms

<                                     just look at my son ...
                                 down to size of thirty two
                                 ....    fencing hackling

                                      meat and potatoes ...
                                   leftovers from my mother
                                 ...  well isn't that special

                                     eat sleep and ... running
                                     thats all I will ever see
                                   ...  glad father isn't here

Written by Katherine Stella
For Dr Rams IN-LAWS Contest
Gl All

Details | Rhyme | |

Cover Your Crack If You Want Me To Take You Seriously!

Today it seems it's trendy
to wear your pants real low.
You know you're hot if you can walk
and let your butt-crack show!

Maybe I'm just old-fashioned
or maybe I'm a prude...
but I can't help but thinking
that your butt-crack is just rude!

It started with the plumber,
by accident... I'm sure!
But now, my teacher turns around
Oh no! Don't tell me.........Her?

She even wears the pants real low
so when she turns away...
her butt-crack smiles back at you
and you don't know what to say!

Do you pretend it's not there?
Do you say "Hey, nice crack?"
Pray to the fashion Gods and hope
suspenders will come back!

Mary Nagy

Details | Rhyme | |

I Just Can Not Win

There was a day, oh so clear… I took my newly trained dog for a walk.
Just as I left the house… a rabbit came by, and yes, we were off.
My dog took off quite fast… as he ran the rabbit under a car.
Yep, you guessed… I just can’t win… but I’m still alive, so far…

Then a squirrel crossed the street… for in a tree, to hide.
Clearly we had to follow… as cars swerved to miss us in their ride
I was very grateful that day… to find every thing still intact.
Yep, you guessed… I just can’t win…as a friend, helped us from a limb, well cracked.

Next the mailman rounded the bend… in his small-motorized truck
I sure am glad he got away… but again, me… not so much.
I can attest to my dog’s health… As we ran a mile in record time…
Yep, you guessed… I just can’t win… as a fire truck came roaring by.

Now don’t you worry so very much… we survived, yet, again?
And as all settled down, I was so glad… till the rain came rumbling in.
Since lightening and thunder scare him so… we made it home, in record time.
Yep, you guessed… I just can’t win… as from under the door I climbed.

The dinner table had been set… as I hurried from the door.
Dinner will be late; I have to explain… as I now cleared it from the floor.
A walk always develops an appetite… I mused, as I began to explain doggy house laws.
Yep, you guessed it… I just can’t win…  as the turkey lay between his paws.

The trainer assured me my dog’s well trained… though with a small attention span
Training’s gone well, he said, again… though he looked like a crazed stuntman.
Yep, you guessed it… He couldn’t win…as he gave me, my money back 
A little chagrinned… he sent me on my way, with several tons of luck.

There’ll probably be another moment or two… with my beloved Great Dane.
But that’s to be expected… from a 100 lb puppy that’s almost potty trained
Yep, you guessed… I just can’t win... But Don’t Worry, we’re doing well… 
OOOPS, the doorbell rang… here we go again, for another time…

But know, eventually he will grow up… and by then we’ll be just fine…

Details | Narrative | |

Great Grandma Kicked some Butt

When my mother was at the age of thirteen,
A dirty old man asked her to come clean,
He invited her over so she could make a few bucks
When she arrived he was in a black tucks
He was the neighbor across the street,
His wife was at work and he viewed my mom as weak
This man locked the door when my mother arrived,
Went to go kiss her, to feed his sick drive,
My mom ran out the back door and went across the street,
Little did this man know he was in for a “delightful treat!”
My great grandma lived six towns away
My mother called her in a state of panic and disarray
A forty minute drive, granny made it in fifteen
Granny drove her old ford like a race car machine
When she arrived, she kicked that man’s door down
She did not care if anyone was around
That man jumped up by that loud sound
She hit him so hard he fell right on the ground
She slapped him around with her left shoe
Cursed him out in Italian, while threatening him too
Later that night my mother’s dad came home
He is a little man with a loud groan
He heard the story and went across the way
Took his shot gun and made this man pay
Told him if he ever touched his daughter again,
He would shoot off his little “private friend,”
He made this man cry in his own living room,
But I promise you this man never again tried to consume,
Every little girl on that street,
He knew not to look at or he would get severally beat,
My family has many stories of my Great Granny saving the day,
Never mess with an Italians family, they handle things in their own special way.

By:Sabina Nicole

      Every family has stories that get past down from one generation to the next. I was blessed to have had my mother’s grandparents until about 6 years ago. They did not speak any English and my great granny was a crazy awesome woman. She grew up on a farm in Italy and had to do a lot on her own. She raised all the children and grandchildren but was old school about a lot of stuff.  I remember my great grandparents fighting with each other even in the nursing home. They were married for 58 years; they shared a room in the nursing home that had two separate beds. My great grandma use to hit my great grandpa with her cane from across the bedroom. It was funny to watch.  They may have fought but they loved each other so much, my great grandma died 6 years ago and less than a year later my great grandpa died too. Now they are in heaven together, I don’t think there’s fighting in heaven, God don't allow that;)

Details | Light Poetry | |

Confessions So True

The trolls went on vacation last week, they were tired of so much sun.
They went north for a touch of snow, you know, to have a little fun.
Now here we sat, all by ourselves, without a thing, we need to do.
No Trolls for laughter, the spice of life, our fun filled lives were thru.

Grandpa Troll was a chef at heart, he cooked for all, including ourselves.
Need I remind you, as a cook, they had all gladly put me, on the shelf.
So here we were, at all our meals, scrounging for anything that’s left.
And any time I smiled and offered to cook, they scrounged farther yet.

So I ask them…what they did want… and got a solid… I don’t know.
Their only help was, what am I gonna get? Did the Trolls leave a note?
Then the whine of: when will they be back and OH NO not this again!
What is it? They soundly ask… It looks like, well I don’t know, you win!

So all at once they deserted me… out the door they quickly did go.
Not wanting to be left behind, I caught up, then lead the stampede, just so.
I didn’t tell them there was a note, and ready-made food in the freezer.
You see: I wanted to go out to eat… We hadn’t eaten out in a while, either.

So here we go for one more time… as I say the treat will be on me.
And I lead them deftly down the street, yes, to where I want to eat.
McDonald’s says the McRib is back and I surely, can’t miss out on that!
So the feast tonight will definitely be… McDonalds’, where we all now sat.

Details | Couplet | |


Ten was fun,
As I would run and play all day in the sun.

Twenty was ideal
As much of the world seemed nifty and surreal.

Thirty was a blast,
As a Dad I developed fantastic memories that will last.

Forty is here,
As opportunities persist and the gist of what lies ahead is unclear.

Fifty, Sixty, Seventy, Eighty,
Has anyone seen my keys lately?

Check Please,
It’s time to leave.

Details | Free verse | |

Poem Within a Poem

To a father there may 
Not be a greater joy than 
A child who emulates
Maybe even idolizes his dad.

With a heart pouring over
With love my youngest boy 
Proudly states, “I have written a poem.”
My heart soars and love overflows …

His next words reconfirm what 
I suspected; he wants to be like dad
He asked me to post it on Poetry Soup.
The next lines are his as I beam …

Kind, nice, Outgoing, and Funny this is
How I live in this strange World. I live
With a funny family always cheering 
me on I go to a big school always
being great I have many friends
Always being Awesome intelligent 
People, I go to a nice church
always being kind I really
like my life in this very strange 

I couldn’t have said it better
Little man.

A collaboration of Dad (60) and 
David (10) Eklund

Details | Rhyme | |

Full House

Naughty little brother hitting people just for fun,
Soppy little sister snuggles up to harassed mum,
While other sister Lesley thinks she’s in a royal court,
And “Ten Ton Tim” throws the tennis balls he’s bought,
One hits little Lesley on the head with quite a force,
She storms off to her room, in a nark again of course,
She slams the door behind her once she’s made her way upstairs,
And then there’s the twins, I know that trouble comes in pairs,
Michael’s riding Richard with his undies on his head,
While Craig from down the road is wearing swimming trunks instead,
“Ten Ton Tim” then offers the other boys a fight,
One which probably won’t finish until very late at night
“You and Craig onto me!”; a tempting offer to the boys,
Who start to rush towards him brandishing their army-toys,
Lesley reappears from the dark behind the door,
Intending not carry on moaning any more,
Dad is quite sensible at stays at work ‘til dark,
I think it’s more crowded here than in Noah’s Ark.
Mother calls for quite but the noise just carries on,
‘Til Craig suggests they go to his and then the rabble’s gone!

(Written at the age of 9 or 10)

Details | Shape | |

Christmas Tradition


                                                  " No! "
                                                 But I say
                                               " Let's go! "
                                             It's my favorite
                                           time of year again!
                                          Let's put on our boots
                                       fleeced lined jackets, gloves,
                                    and head to the mountains for our
                                  annual search for the "perfect" tree!
                             Every year, this one event,  a family tradition...
                        has almost landed us in divorce court!  Why, we've
                      almost been featured in the local newspaper with a headline:
                    "Local Father, Weilding Hatchet, Ends A Family’s Tradition”
                    It's not that my husband doesn't enjoy the spirit of the season...
                  Perhaps it's just the memory of the times we've been stuck in the
                 mud, while he's had to trudge back two miles to find the nearest phone.  
            Maybe he remembers the time when the dang tree slipped out of it's ropes
            wiggled from the top of our car, with no place to pull over… in a storm,…. 
         (he had to peek through the branches that covered the windshield to see the
        highway..all the while, muttering language not quite in the jolly holiday spirit!)    
     While those in the backseat, singing "Jingle Bells", were enjoying hot chocolate…
                              and raving over the beauty of the season!
                    This year....he declares that we are getting an artificial tree!!

For Paula's Contest: Traditions
Note: (Actually, if truth be known, he is a very good sport, and we usually go into Lassen National Forest, and get a permit to cut our own tree.  A wonderful outing, and a fun day!)

Details | Limerick | |

Pay Up

<                    hes my banker and my heads horseman
                      calling bounty on anothers land
                      hark the herald angels
                      I think this game is swell
                      now thimble owes me sixty five grand

Written by Katherine Stella

Entry For Judy Konos's
Monopoly The Game Of Life Contest
G.L. All

Details | Light Poetry | |

Our Cheerful Grandpa (Footle)



~ Dedicated to my father-in-law, a sweet grandpa to the grandkids! :) ~

Details | Free verse | |

My Heritage

My heritage is a mixture
Of backgrounds.  Let's start on 
My Dad's side of the family.

My Dad's mom is Irish and English.

My Dad's dad is Irish and German.

My Mom's mom is Scottish and Irish.

My Mom's dad is blood Hungarian.

So in other words,
I'm a mutt!  or as others say,
"Heinz 57!"

Details | I do not know? | |

Im so Very Sorry

I brought you all here today
For something very important I have to say
An apology of some sorts
Lets start with you the oldest of course
I’m sorry that you don’t shut up
I’m sorry that your such a klutz
I’m sorry you have no brain
Oh an I’m sorry that you are you
But most of all I’m sorry I love you
Now who is next
Yes you in the shorts
I’m sorry that things don’t go your way
I’m sorry that everything is a game
I’m sorry if you can never be serious
I’m sorry that your delirious 
Yes many things are very wrong with you
Oh and I’m sorry I love you
Hmm next let me see
The youngest one of the ones I see
Yes I am sorry for who you are
I’m sorry for your life thus far
I’m sorry that you complain so much
I’m sorry that you mess up
I’m sorry that you cant think straight
I’m sorry you also have no brain
But most of all I’m sorry that I love you
Oh this felt good yes indeed
But oh oh oh
I’m sorry I love you three!!!

*Dedicated to all the people I love no matter what*

Details | I do not know? | |

Floop Goop Suprise

Kanoodle the poodle,
eats blue beans and noodles.
With sticky grey peas,
while he swings in a tree.

A brown fish on toast,
a pink bubblegum roast.
On crackers with cheese,
whilst dancing with fleas.

Red floop juice and blue goop,
makes a purple floop soup.
white fish eyes and black flies,
we've made a floop goop suprise.

as the floop goop cools off,
he starts licking his chops.
He feasts by a tree
then falls fast asleep


Contest: Dr seuss on the loose
Copyright (c) 2012
James Mahauariki

Details | Narrative | |


Tall Aunt Euvela Made biscuits for our dinner It was requested of the crowd How many biscuits are required? My daddy said, "I always eat two." Uncle Troy said, " You won't eat two of Euvela's." When dinner was eaten, All the dishes washed. Uncle Troy said," Morgan, two you stopped short of." Daddy said, "Troy, you was right those biscuits were as big as plate." He continued, "No one could eat two of Euvela's biscuits." That woman had those big hands with long fingers to match her six foot height..

Details | Quatrain | |

Sister Wife And Uncle Brother

Sister wife and Uncle brother,
didn't really like each other,
so they left it up to me,
which one I liked the best you see.

Sister wife, now she could cook,
not too bad with line and hook,
but Uncle brother had good traits,
why he could name all 40 states!

Both of them were good in bed,
least that's what Cousin mommy said,
but Sister wife she had one ace,
and that there was her purty face.

Her eyes are green, and blue and brown,
one of them looks off toward town,
and she has no hair beneath,
her lovely, crooked yellow teeth.

Uncle brother, he's my friend,
I'll love him to the very end,
but he stops to scratch his britches,
'cause he says it always itches.

It is so embarrassing,
to watch him scratching at that thing,
but what am I supposed to do,
when Sister wife helps scratch it too?

Sister wife and Uncle brother,
suddenly they like each other!
I guess it's just a lucky me,
that has a great big family!

Details | Rhyme | |

Differences Divine

I know you’re not a pink flamingo you’re black
and I should have two legs which I lack,
my Mom was a pod and "Goodness, Ohhh Lordy
there’s more of us growin’ in the back forty!

"Don’t you mind being black in fact
my Ma wanted a red head how bout that!
Well I’m a bonnie  lass with a bottom of petals
without any legs to put petal to metal.

But, we can be friends I know that’s true
you can run for me and I can kiss for you.
Find a sister for my brother his name’s Shorty
He needs a girl with legs in the back forty!

Details | Rhyme | |

Gran's Got Gerbils

 The following poem is based on a true story 

We were sitting down one evening when the phone began to ring,
“Hello mum,” said Father, “Can I help with anything?”
Grandmother then answered, “There’s a gerbil in my house!”
“Do you really mean a gerbil? Don’t you mean a mouse?”
“I’m certain it’s a gerbil,” My grandmother defended,
“And the fact you think I’d get that wrong makes me feel offended.”
“I’m sorry, but a gerbil? Are you really sure?”
“Yes I am. It must be one of those they’ve got next door.”
“We’re on our way.” Said my Dad and then hung up the phone,
And then within the hour we were at Grandmother’s home.

“Ok Mum, please tell me, just what did you see?”
“It came out from the kitchen and went under the TV.”
Dad went in a cupboard and then took out a trap,
Set it with some chocolate and waited for the “Snap!”,
It only took a moment, and what do you suppose?
A great big rat staggered out, the trap caught on its nose!
Dad chased it to the garden and gave it quite a whack,
“It’s ok Mum, that gerbil is never coming back”,
“Thank you Son, you know that I’d have struggled doing that,
But it could have been so much worse. It could have been a rat!”

Details | Verse | |

How The West Was Won

<                         O ye how the west has gone won
                           now wipe those trails of tears my son
                           dance the ring of fire for fun
                           speak and learn native ways
                           learn not to speak with riffles gun
                           rustle bacon beans  Hey !

Written By Katherine Stella 7/3/11

Entry For Dr Ram's 
Rime Couee's Contest
G.L. All

Details | Limerick | |

Just Wait Until I Get Home

<                        once popped cork on bottle of red wine
                          hit brother in eye oh how it did shine
                          seen him go pick up bat
                          boy did I ever scat
                          right to canadian's boarder line

                          feeling like her dansel in-distress
                          along came three county mounties best
                          asked if nipping bottle
                          at fast paces throttle
                          answered yes now did I pass your test

                           tossed in pokie for now twenty days
                           poor ole missy now won't and get laid
                           darn brother wins again
                           wearing smitten hugh grin
                           wait until that welt begins to fade  

Written 6/20/11

Entry For Francine Robert's
Bottle Of Wine
Limericks Only Contest
G.L. All

Details | Kyrielle | |

Santa Mommy

My nose is getting red like Santa’s perhaps I’ll grow a beard
Welcome to my holiday home at this special time of year
I’ve hidden all the wrapped up boxes and all the clutters cleared
My son is on the air-o-plane he is getting VERY, very near!

Got the balsam wreathes up from Big Y and hung them on the doors
Welcome to my holiday home at this special time of year
Go pick a pretty bulb out from the boxes on the floor
and set it out at ready for the big tree will soon appear.

Soon I’ll drive to JFK to get the MAN that big ole kid
Welcome to my holiday home at this special time of year
If I had a bright red sleigh I’d get there fast like Santa did,
avoiding all the Yuletide traffic, why yes, I’d steer right clear.

With my red nose and a borrowed beard, red hat and all
Welcome to my holiday home at this special time of year
I’d shift the pillow in my drawers and the crowd would be appalled
You’d see security winking “There’s a coo-coo over here!”

They’d let me through with no pat down, no scan of Santa’s tummy
Welcome to my holiday home at this special time of year
I’d shout it to the customs guards “It’s just HIS loony Mummy!”
I need him to set up the pine tree before he disappears.

His friends have called their all waiting there is more of them than me 
Welcome to my holiday home at this special time of year
One of the few times I see that boy by time and spaces decree
I’ll call them all to gather for the trimmings of yesteryear.

Details | Rhyme | |

Conflict of Self-Interest

By: Amy

I need  to study, cannot go out...
I’m so behind, I simply must work...

I have a paper, and test real soon...
I can’t take a hangover on a Sunday...

I’ve so much concern, my GPA’s sunk...
I’ll be too tired, the night gets so late...

Really, grades worry me, school’s been tough...

Details | Narrative | |

Hoot's Toot

There once was a little Jack Russell
who was as sweet as she was cute
and went by the nicname of hoot.

Now in the evening the
family would gather 
to spend family time together.
Everyone including Hoot was there.

Me on the couch
the kids on the floor
and dad in his favorite chair.

As we sat there a smell most foul
quickly filled the air.

It seems our sweet little hoot
had let loose with a toot
and now we are all fighting for air.

Details | Ballad | |


It is...within the tiny things of early morning, that moment breaths alive, it is within the tiny whisperings, that a melodye the very dear and the antelope, play home on the range.

so goes the melodye of heart beat, that plays quietly the songs of soul,

here a rhyme is born of day-light coming so soon, through the early morning eyes of the moon-light, and the starry dreams of twilight's transitioning...

into the light of a love letter written to dawn.

soul to soul conversing, as in this love letter, the letters just join hands with the words and just march across the sky...and at the end of the rainbow, there be plenty of golden time,

way down deep on the inside, the inspired choir, of a bumble bee, or a butterfly, starts to sing, like tiny things that live,

flower to flower,
blossom to bloom,

watered and deeply cared for...

O' Eden.

I say, deep beneath the surface of a wishing well...where the pennies lay,

I wish a sun-rise.

Details | Limerick | |

Girl in my Class

There once was a girl in my class.
One day I tried to make a pass.
My cheek still sting,
My ears still ring,
Yet married to me; Alas!

Details | Verse | |

The Paparazzi Quinzaine

<                                   paparazzi candid shots
                                     privacy act ruined ?
                                     big nuisance ?

Details | Rhyme | |

When you have MS

When you have MS, you just never know
You may have bad days, that’s how it can go.

Sometimes I will stumble, or take a fall
Things move in the house, especially the wall.

Trip over nothing, Sometimes there are glares
I hate when I fall, going up all those stairs.

I have left my house, with the candles lit
When I come back home, I throw quite a fit.

How could I do that, I thought they were out
I beat myself up, and begin to shout.

I’ve gone out to lunch, the oven is hot
Where is our dinner? Oh crap, I forgot.

The pan on the stove, I’m ready to cook
But I walk away, and start a good book.

Calendars I use, I have two in fact
Appointments I have, and I must keep track.

There’s a problem though, I forget to look
So I write things down, even in my book.

I ask the same thing, my kids tell me so
I just say to them, I just want to know.

My side vision gone, on curbs I would hop
“Mom a car’s coming, please stay at the stop.”

My kids say they’ll help, they’ll give me a class
Teaching maneuvers, so that I will pass.

But if I don’t pass, as they both chuckle
Get into their car, make sure I buckle.

Don’t feel sorry, and no need to curse
There’s many people, who have it much worse.

Always remember, when things seem bluer
Lift up your spirits, by using humor.

Details | Light Poetry | |


At the scribble Scrabble table I'm raising the bar by adding seven lucky tiles to your letter R Vanna please let me buy a vowel or can I have a few? I'll take A, E, I , skip the O and gimme a U Please allow me three more letters to fill my desire I'll take a Q, G, and M to make the word QUAGMIRE
* Written for Nancy Jone's "Scrabble Contest"

Details | Free verse | |

My Sister's Diet Coke

My sister sips diet coke
Gets her day going that’s no joke.
It even helps her dream of the Baroque;
Dazzling her eyes while frying her egg yoke.
And folks this is no smoke
It makes her strong as an oak,
While floating like a butterfly stroke
Whenever she drinks her chilled diet coke.

Details | I do not know? | |

Under my 8 year old Brothers Bed

Under my 8 year old brothers bed
lies my dog chewed Barbie, no sign of her head
a faded Snoopy cartoon, deflated yellow Birthday balloon
and one stuffed zoo animal baboon
Romote toy car from Uncle Tom
Cassette of Raffi, sing-a-long songs
half a fruit roll-up, and a beat up
tonka truck

A wooden dream catcher, made in Summer camp
his moon and star shaped night lamp
one lonely brown button from his Winter coat
A crumpled crayon castle drawing, complete with
an alligator filled moat
A real rabbits foot, for luck, from Grandpa Mack
half a fourth of July sparkler, old fashioned box of jacks
glass jelly jars of grass, sticks, leaves, assorted bugs
science fair worm farm living in moms old Garden jug

Under my 8 year old brothers bed
it has to be said, if you find yourself lost 
beneath it
you are as good
as dead!

Details | Acrostic | |

Thanksgiving Day

Turkey day is finally here, along with that mid-afternoon paralysis
Half the family made it this year, and thank God, 'cause we're short chairs!
Apple, pumpkin, and mince-meat pies fill the air with cinnamon dust-devils
Nevermind the barking dogs and screaming, running and tattling kids,
Kooky and drunk, your favorite uncle swears you can light a fart!
Surely we've got BIGGER fish to fry's them 'taters doin'?
Goodness knows how amazing Granny's poultry gravy is gonna be
I just hope some jerk doesn't bring that Jello with raisins, carrots, and lettuce......YUCK!!!!
Vodka is easily hidden in the various holiday beverages,
I swear it's the ONLY way I can tolerate half of my family!
No one's really that bad, but a little goes a long way!
God bless every single, dysfunctional, and oblivious one of us!

Dinner comes and goes........the herd migrates to the TV for pig-skin dramas
All say their goodbyes and don coats and scarves
YIPPE!!! They're all gone!!!......oh crap!!!! WHO'S gonna help with the dishes????

jim david

Details | Rhyme | |

Serious Trouble

For like many, having ignored their mother’s calling
Children have learned to identify her warning
For serious trouble will be paid
When procrastination has been overly made
Jamie! I hear as I watch TV
Please take out the trash if you please
Jamie!! I hear for a second time
I will at the end of my show-alright? 
Jamie Robert Hollingsworth the third!!!!!!
The moment of truth- now has arrived
Dashing to the trash as fast as I can travel 
 Before a bruising- caused by a paddle

Details | Light Poetry | |

The Christmas Ride

Dear Santa:

Our baby Troll Lilly started a discussion, last night, just to help… you know.
So Santa, I hope you don’t mind some advice from our dear family of Trolls.
Lilly had a question on a problem, about your ride, on your famous route.
She wanted to ask you, what happens when the reindeer get really pooped out?

Yes, she needs to know, what on earth you might do… so to her, you’d get thru?
I tried to assure her that you’d be all right, but she didn’t believe, that was true!
She began crying buckets of tears, so we told her just what we’d do to help you.
The Trolls also piped in, with great ideas to help, so she’d stop all the boo hoo’s.

They decided, their dragons would do, in case of a blizzard, and for extra warmth.
(But they’re too heavy to land on roofs; I cried for a week with mine, it’s the truth.)
Geese would be great in some areas, no doubt! But watch out where lakes are about.
Hunters may be present; Christmas goose is yummy when family gatherings sprout.

Most birds are strong and sturdy in flight, but watch out when full night comes.
They sleep in trees, so you’ll spend the rest of the night, hanging above the ground.
Bears are really sturdy, with great power in every move they ever decide to take.
But I doubt you could wake them in winter, without a truly massive earthquake.

Unicorns would be impressive, but my Trolls say that… they aren’t really real.
I say that they are, but you’d have to be on guard, people want their magic, to steal.
Planes would be impressive, but in a yard… they are really hard… to try to land.
Helicopters are so cool, but you’d be buried in the blowing snow, where you stand.

Dogs are good for mushing, but you might need a smaller sled to stand behind.
But, a few Trolls are perfect, with unswerving stamina, and strength well defined.
Another could help tote toys, sitting behind you and Lilly, who’d be great, by your side. 
These ideas cheered her up a lot, she was even laughing, and no more did she cry.

But if you use the reindeer, remember we could be, if needed, quickly by your side.
Have a Merry Christmas, and Santa; please give Lilly a Christmas wish ride.
And you can’t go wrong with reindeer, Lilly, and a few extra Trolls supplied.
Yours truly, From The Eastman’s and their Trolls

Details | Footle | |

End Results

Candy In Pantry: Handy Candy Hersey's Chocolate: Divine Design Secret Sweets: Dandy Candy In The Pantry: Better Treasure Hersey's for Karter: Karter Starter End Results: More pounds Compound
Sponsor: Yasmin Khan Contest: Footle Fun

Details | Free verse | |


I gave you the tale of my computer
Last month 
All is working....... 
Well sort of.

And again it came down to me to put in a network card.
It put up a stubborn  fight 
But two days later I MADE IT WORK! 
It really wasn't that hard

But there were other things 
Like licenses for the vehicles and me
Mine was the problem
My birth certificate name was different you see.

I had had it changed
But who knows in what state
The lawyer said "shoot
The one on your birth certificate will do.".

The Kansas license was personalized
And a beautiful thing
I decided I'd  keep it 
And one day put it out for all to see.

When I removed it 
I brought it inside
Washed and dried it 
And set it aside.

One evening Shirlee and Fred came by
On their way home from work
I wasn't here but they left some no, no's
For my dessert.

The next day they came by to give me a ride
It was off to garage sales we would go
Shirlee looked at me and said
"Mom is that your idea of a joke?"

I didn't pick up on what she meant
And she pointed toward the stove.
" I mean ," she said "Do you intend to leave your 
License plate up there?"

I told you it was special,
I didn't want it to get hurt
So I placed it on the vent
Above the cook stove to make sure.

It was tan 
And a buffalo stood with pride
The letters C I L E
Were printed on it's side.

I still didn't get the drift
Until she pointed to the four little words
And Read 

I had to sit down 
I was laughing so hard 
And when I think back
I still get a charge.

I haven't yet found my home on the range 
But I'll tell you this my friends
Following the next four lines 
You can add the word, AMEN

No more cooking 
I am through
If you can't use the micro wave

                              Cile Beer

Details | Rhyme | |

to be a fish

Ever wonder what a fish will think
Why the heck it doesn't blink
Could they ever send a wink
If they're too fat will it sink
Do all cats like fish...even a link
Howcome fish really stink
Is water to a fish considered a drink
If a fish bends too far will it get a kink
Why is it male fish are the pretty colors like pink
Do poisonous fish spit out ink
When fish move their lips is it them doing a lip-sink
To be a fish let's call him Dink
If the water's warm will a fish shrink
Want to be a fish...maybe I'll re-think

Details | Limerick | |

Fathers Cute Little Words

My fathers’ cute little words and sayings,
Like, that is just for the birds, in lashings.
Akumpucky in way,
Epigutis he’d say.
My father was big man in displaying.

Akumpucky was cream or compound.
Epigutis was the disease he found.
His words were so very cute.
You would never try dispute.
Powerful man would win any round.

Written for

Sponsor Francine Roberts 
Contest Name My Parent 

Details | Rhyme | |

Lady bug Lady Bug

Lady bug 

Lady bug lady bug it is fun to play and look at you, 
you seem to increase in size whenever we live in some place new, 
you hide in my toy, you hide in my closet
what am I am going to do with you? 
Lady bug lady bug look at you, when I turn on the lights
you run with your friends and fly away too. 
Lady bug Lady Bug 
I am getting tired of you, you run and 
alluding me in to my shoes, even when I am over you,
eating my food, you look and seem
 you want me to bless you to. 
Lady bug lady bug I am not having fun with you, 
I am getting my mom and dad to get the 
exterminator to get with you and your crew. 
This poem is about a five years old kid who never saw North and 
South American cockroach in his young life.

 Poetry 11/26/10 by Keith K. Relf

Details | Couplet | |

Valentine Romance

Valentines day is always something special to me, I explained. 
So I planned a romantic evening and got ready for my campaign.
The children were at a sleepover with their favorite friends they adore.
So I met my hubby as he came in, accidentally tripping and making him hit the door.
Thank God his head is hard as he hit that, the nearby TV, but very little more.
I made Cherries Jubilee as a snack while he sat there with an ice pack to his head. 
But before I knew it, I’d knocked it over and almost burned down the house instead.
When he finally put the fire extinguisher away…
I got up and got some of the kids’ apple tarts I had made. 
He bit in deep and burned his mouth, declaring he wasn’t hungry and the pain would fade.
Next he decided to go upstairs, but I had put rose petals down everywhere in spades.
And yes you probably guessed it… he slipped and ended up needing a little aide.
At this he decided to take an aspirin and lay down upon the couch. OH  HHWell…
But I knew the rest needed to happen above, to totally create this romantic spell…
I had to get him to the candles and bubble bath, where my romantic dreams still dwelled. 
So I got out some scarves and danced toward him, tying up his hands before he fell.
He never knew what hit him as he was lassoed and gently bounced up the stairs.
I guess I wouldn’t have had to tie his feet… a few words would have done as well.
But you know me when I get going, my mind tends to lose a few brain cells…
He was flustered, exhausted and bruised when he got there, but he’s made of the right stuff.
Though as I took off the scarves, he flopped on the bed pulling the covers over his head kind of rough.
He said he loved me, but living with me could be kind of tough.
He said it was better to leave it to him, for the romantic endeavors and such.
He said he had reservations and play tickets in his shirt pocket for later on that night.
But what he needed now was some aspirin and a few moments of quiet respite. 
So with a sigh he started snoring, and my romantic dreams were momentarily crushed.
I dearly love the man you know. But, do you think maybe I tried too much?

Details | Ode | |

That Crazy Old Doctor

There've been times in my life
 where I've just had to say,
 "I must, give it all up,
 for, it's that kind of day"!
I must, really say this
 I really, just must;
 if I didn't say it,
 then, it wouldn't be, "just".
There's this crazy, old man
 we'll just call him, "Doc";
 who fills up blank pages
 with, "poetical talk".
He's scribbled, and scrabbled
 'til way, past bed-time,
 trying to finish each poem
 and, complete every rhyme.
If he hadn't done this
 he'd surely gone, "mad",
 his nonsensical nature
 was, all that he had!
No hidden agenda
 when first, he wrote down,
 each poem of nonsense
 to erase a childs' frown.
And, Doc always did this
 manipulate, "clues"... that , all of his poems
 were merely geared, to amuse.
He loved to let nonsense
 be the order of the day,
 and, with every poem
 we all smiled, the same way.
His only intention
 was to set our minds, "free",
 his style, just did it
 so, poetically.
With his own tongue, in cheek
we knew we'd been had,
and his poems rhymed perfectly
proving he was no, "fad"!

The volumes of topics
 that Doc's written of,
 included all that could be
 written.....below, and above.
He's written of magic,
 puzzles, and games...
 ..with, strange little creatures,
 with, strange little, "names".
The, crazier his story,
 the saner he'd feel,
 and, the more that we heard
 convinced us they were, "real"!
His poems, were genius
 as he weaved us, a tale;
 with, nonsensical rhymes
 that did so, without..."fail".
"Old Doc", has quit writing
 he's up in heaven,
 this year, his birthday'd ...
 make him, a hundred, and seven!
He's given advice,
 taught what we must do,
 he said, "Be who you are...'s youer,!"
He's maybe still writing
 in, see,
 that'd be just like him
 as, that's who he must, be!
That, silly old doctor... silly, as a goose;
 we all loved his poems,
 for, we loved Dr. Seuss!

Details | Rhyme | |

A Grandmother

A grandmother is someone who loves you and your soul
Someone who hugs you when you feel alone

She reads bedtime stories for you
And when you sleep she does the same too

She is the one who gifts you hugs and kisses
And when you are not there next to her you are the one she misses

For you she will be on her toes the whole time
And give you whatever you want from a stuff toy to a lime

She is the one who comforts you and loves you from her heart
And doesn’t care if you are dumb or smart

She is a person you can never forget
For if you want to also she will never let :)

Details | Limerick | |

My Mum!

The blue, clear sea, just so calm.
Exactly like my dear Mum.
She had never, ever raged. 
Though she may have a little aged. 
I stick to her like gum!

Details | Free verse | |

Not Exaggerating

A new life it seems 
Has come my way
In the mountains 
And plains of Wy-o-ming

I look out of my window
And Antelope play
Go out to the kids place
Where the buffalo stay

The rain has been plenty
And the winds not still
If you call blowing
A 500 lb ol’ lady down a hill

I exaggerated a bit
But how would you know
You ain’t ever seed me
So I’ll just let it go.

From a big house 
With no spare room
I now live in a trailer
Just a little bit closer to all of my treasures

I’m trying to fit in and believe me
I say it with a grin
I’ll just give you an example 
My friends

At the Arena Football Game the other night
My son-in-law got bored
He took out his great big knife
While I watched them make a next score

Next thing I knew folks 
Folks were falling off of their seats
And when I turned around
The same thought hit me

He had cut if the bottoms off of two plastic beer bottles
And was holding them up to his eyes like a pair of goggles

And just about then 
All around started to sing 
Billy’s got his beer goggles on
Only his name is Fred but what the heck

You see him ‘n me gits ‘long great
Our only goal in life
Is to see which of us 
Can out do the other

I went garage saleing
With them the next day
And I bought two air conditioners
Per se

And when we arrived 
Back at my place
We stuffed one in my pickup
And the other in his truck

Remember I told you 
My house is quite small
It’s almost impossible
To walk in the door at all

It was late
And the wind and rain
Made installing them
Something for another day

I guess things can’t be too bad between us
Cause I gave him permission to use my lawn tractor
But dog gone sometimes he can be to nice
Making me feel like he’s my baby sitter

But the day he hollered, “Do you want your coke ‘n  cane”
Shirlee hollered back, “Fred, don’t use those two words so close together
The neighbors might hear 
And get the wrong impression”

So as the sun in the west
Shines in my eyes
I’ll close for now
And wish you all a good night
                                               Cile Beer

Details | Rhyme | |

My FAVORITE Classic TV Show

My Favorite Classic T.V. Show A classic t.v. show that I thought was fun and silly. Was one I watched as a child: “The Beverly Hillbillies.” There was Jed. Granny. Jethro and Elly May too. You just didn’t know what these folks were going to do! Granny would offer possum pie or some “vittles.” There was no tellin’ what she was fixin’ in her griddle! This family would “dance a jig.” Or even “sing a song. And then they would all gather around “the cement pond.” It didn’t seem to matter what was served on the dinner plate. Ole Jethro would never get full. No matter how much he ate! Elly loved to have her many animals in the home. No matter where she went. She was never alone! This Clampett family brought joy through our t.v. I still watch this show. But just occasionally. This classic show is from a time in the past. But it still brings good memories that will always last! By Jim Pemberton "The Beverly Hillbillies"

Details | Verse | |

Our House

It's such a great thrill being down in our house;
There isn't a chance of being quiet as a mouse:
With guitars and tellies and hi-fi and things;
Never-ending noise, then the telephone rings.

"It's my call". "No it's not, It's for me scream the choir."
They're all trying at once to yell down the wire.
Then just as the babbling begins to wane;
A knock at the door, Oh Help! -----it's Elaine.

"Can I borrow some coffee, some milk and some bread;
I'll return it next week", well that's what she said!
She plants herself down on a dining room chair,
Her soapbox cacophony splits open the air.

I usher her quickly out through the front door,
and dash to the loo, I can't take anymore.
I've made it in time just before the stampede,
who all, of course, have a far greater need.

It's now late at night, I'm about to retire;
To repose in my bed, is my one great desire.
Head on the pillow, now almost asleep;
Thump, bang, crash, wallop, from those horrible creeps.
They've returned from a party, it's all been great fun,
I wish I were the owner of a sub-machine gun!

Details | Verse | |

Two Wailing Babies

So delicious my baby's right cheek
to his brother

Of course he took a hard bite
on that
soft sweet sight

His cruel curiosity was confused,
it's too easy to hurt

My baby threw a wail mile high
his brother
jumped...a fearful cry.

Details | Couplet | |


It's a final sale, no exchanges, no refund; grab anything that you like...
all items sell for a dollar or less, even grandfather's four-wheel bike.

Over forty two years I have collected transistor radios, vinyl records, ceramics dolls
and plates with famous faces on them...oh, Debbie from The Wizard of Oz enthralls!

I am making room for new furniture, and must get rid of them...
it's sad to give them away when they offered much excitement! 

In those boxes and crates, you'll find many commodities...
soap bars, bathing towels, curtains shower and perfumes.

Take a look at some funny clothes that I wore in my teens: tight blue jeans,
wool sweaters, cowboy's shirts, boots and hats, trying to look like sexy Elvis!  

Browse and find that item you couldn't it Marylin Monroe's furry shawl? 
If the final sale is not complete by early evening, I will draw a winner to take it all!

Details | Limerick | |

Daddy Dear

A Father taught the birds and bees,

To put a lock between her knees.

But, a boy was so clever.

Saying love was forever.

And now she has a bump daddy sees.

Details | Senryu | |

The A-Team

Here comes Santa Claus
The Easter Bunny’s with him
Great! Tooth Fairy too!

Details | Senryu | |

The Clank Of The Spoon

                                           The clank of the spoon
                                         Against the full chili bowl
                                            Tonight gas fills room

Click on:
"About This Poem"

Details | Sedoka | |

A Lifetime Tradition

Grandfather relaxed
While I cleaned his grimed toenails—
He was a tugboat captain.
It was tradition,
As soon as he fell asleep,
I painted his toenails red.

© February 22, 2012
Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen

Written for Poetry Soup Member Contest: Sedoka me any subject 	
Sponsored by: Russell Sivey

Details | Personification | |

My eX-gIRL fRIEND We Are Getting Married

This is a long lost dream story about Me and my EX-GIRL getting it back together again? Just who knows' where it will end......

My ex-girlfriend and me
We are talking about
The possibility of getting
Married and I said that
We shall see.....
She asked' me if we were
Going to take lot's and lots'
           Of Picture's
And I answered, yes,
But We won' be taking
Them together  
And then She ask Me 
If it would be consummated
I said yes, but, only if it came
         With Tea'


Details | I do not know? | |

Country Christmas

“Country Christmas Carol”      ---  dedicated to my family

 by  Miriam  McCue (creator of flamingo art, & far.)

We love to sing Christmas songs,
My Grandson Bubba and I.
And when we sing Country Christmas.
We almost make the angels cry.

A Merry Country Christmas
To all those great Country Folk,
And even to the City Slickers,
Who also love to drink and smoke.

We’ll take a drink for Bubba, Aunt Mike and Cousin Jim, 
And hope that this Christmas,
They’ll say a prayer and sing a hymn.

Gather round the still, 
Country People all.
 And hold up Uncle Bill
So the old coot doesn’t fall. 

A Merry Country Christmas, 
One full of country joy.
Little Willie wanted a 12 gauge,
But all he got was a toy.

Details | Grook | |

The Doggone Dog Contest

               My Pet

They say that a pet resembles its master,
but I don't believe that it's true.
       When I walk with my dog, 
he always walks faster.
       When I eat a sandwich, 
my dog eats a shoe.
       My dog often scratches his head with his feet,
but, I use my hands, instead.
       I tend to roll in bed when I sleep.
My dog rolls in anything dead.
    I've never pooped in a clearing, or park;
       I've never chewed on a bone;
When a squirrel climbs a tree, I don't stare up and bark -   
			I'd rather just leave it alone.
But I don't get fed, and watered, and rubbed,
	and I don't get treats when I pee.
And I'm not, as quickly, forgiven and loved,
	when someone gets angry with me.
They say that a pet is just like its master,
but I haven't seen any proof yet.
        Personally, I think that would be a disaster.
Instead, I wish I was more like my pet.

Details | Rhyme | |


Aunt Rose dabs elastin cream thrice a day. It’s anti-aging, she beams with great pride, wrinkle-free face is what money would pay to keep young with extra serum applied Layers of make-up brush a pinkish sheen stripped of it, a long row of laugh lines squeaks; vanity tricks work for our ole town queen collagen pump at seventy, a quick fix, Now, she waves and asks me to tell the truth “Oh, honey girl how old do I really look?’ I fail by lying;“ on to forty fourth?” sweet aunt gleams as my life is off the hook. © Contest by Susan: Nailed or Failed

Details | Verse | |

How To Slice Pie

The homemade kitchen table sat
In the center of a small
Cozy warm room, dominated
By her, and her firm all

Cooking meals and preserving food
On the wood burning stove
She could do it all so I'm told
The stove held treasure trove

When she was teen, she learned to care
For the very young child
An older sister died leaving 
In their care four compiled

She used her knowledge rearing own
A trick held up her sleeve
To prevent sibling rivilary
Her wiles did tightly weave

She would let one child cut last piece
Of pie, other first choose
Each child would equally divide
One child right did abuse

This little boy cut one piece big
Way bigger than other
He saw he made a grave mistake
Grabbed piece ran from mother

He tripped and fell flat sprawling
Dropped his big piece of pie
And his sister sat relishing
Each bite while he did sigh

The moral of this story is 
Do right my friend at soup
Don't take too big piece of pie
The results could be dupe

Just writing for fun and telling a family story

Details | Limerick | |

Roman Wedlock

A baby, pious, was born by aide
He named it Gaias, and felt like a jade
While he cried,
Cause mommy died.
His wife hired yet another maid. 

Details | Light Poetry | |

Lilly and FunkunDilly

Our little Orphan Troll, named Lilly, and was always happy as a lark.
She had a squirrel named FunkunDilly always ready, with fun to embark.
They slept and ate together, and rolled around, playing on the ground.
A happier troll you never could see, as when FukunDilly was around.

I made them matching ninja suits, to practice ninja moves in the park.
And the firemen let them sit up front in the fire truck to blow his horn.
Everything was so very perfect, until all the birthdays came around.
As we discussed the birthdays', Lilly ran to the corner to cry, for real!

Lilly didn’t know when her birthday was, and just knew she’d be left out.
So as I ran to poor, little Lilly, I ask FunkinDilly if she knew the date, about.
She has never spoken, but the little squirrel had come with Lilly, you see… 
Around here, you never know, crazier things seem to happen, a lot lately.

None of Trolls knew their birthdays, and all ended up sulking on the ground.
I let them each pick a day, and they picked Halloween all at once, all around.
They invited all their friends for… after Trick or Treating on Halloween night.
I rounded up tons of cupcakes, and the biggest cake ever seen, to their delight.

That night witches, elves, and fairies showed up, with even a unicorn.
The weird frogs came with the bears... and all, held sparklers up in the air.
It was fun to see the costumes, or at least I hoped, that’s what they were.
Everyone danced around a bonfire… as the firemen laughed, and looked on.

I was talking to one of my neighbors dressed as a witch, when Lilly danced by.
I laughed about how happy Lilly and FunkenDilly were when playing, all the time…
And I wished her mother could see the gleam of fun, which shone in her eyes.
Suddenly, a flash of light! FunkenDilly turned into a Troll, right before my eyes.

The witch was apologetic… for forgetting to turn Lilly’s mom back, for so long.
She had found her raiding her garden, and punished her… about a year, before.
Now, FunkenDilly had had so much fun… that she wanted to be turned right back.
The toll for forgetting …was that she gave them both butterfly wings for the night.

She may not be a Troll, but, I never worry about Lilly when FunkenDilly’s along.
And the witch promised FunkunDilly, she could be a squirrel, for one more year. 
But about that neighbor witch… Whoa Boy! I’ll be WAY nicer from now on, ya hear!
Now, I really can’t wait to make more matching outfits, for Lilly and her mom.

Details | Light Poetry | |

Nelli MacGuire

"Nellie MacGuire"
        By Rachel Heffington
Each little room in our house is so nice
But the nicest of all, full of woodsmoke and spice,
Is the kitchen--we almost don't dare to come in
So we walk on our tip-toes and stick out our chins
And peep `round the oven, just hoping to see
That Nellie MacGuire is taking her tea.
Her hair's shiny brown and her cheeks fairly glow
And when she is happy she'll give us some dough.
But if we peep in when her apron is tied
(With a big, fiercesome knot sticking out at the side)
Then she squawks like a hen with a new brood of eggs
And she thumps bread like carpenters thumping in pegs.
And if we are daring and step on the floor
Nell counts up to three and she counts up to four.
Then she purses her lips with a "look at you" face
And sends us off packing right out of the place.
But of course we come back and creep `round by the door
And we see the spice rack full of bakery lore,
The pantry shelves laden with bread light as silk
And the dairy with cheeses and butter and milk.
The fireplace gleaming, the huge iron pot,
And the tea-kettle that sings a song when it's hot.
The cab'net with china-blue flowers and white,
The medicine for when we're sick in the night.
And next to the window with sun streaming through
Holding tea-cup with flowers, some white and some blue,
Sits Nellie MacGuire with apron undone
And we knew now's the time we can start having fun.

Details | Dramatic Verse | |

Is It A Dream World

A funny little clown, a bright red nose.
Lots of make-up, and bright blue bows.

Children laughing, some fat and some thin.
Either dressed in new clothes or rags that are faded and dim.

Pretty white ponies with beautiful glittery saddles.
And again, those funny clowns are hitting eachother with paddles.

One clown keeps fallimg and pretending to cry.
The other is daydreaming and lets out a big sigh.

There are beautiful ladies whose costumes are rare.
And a man who scares the children by dressing up as a bear.

Fantasizing is a convienient thing, it keeps the shock low.
So the surprise about the real world won't be such a big blow.

"Surprised about what"? is what you ask next.
Its something you can't learn in a text.

You'll learn about life by the things you go through.
You'll learn about whats fake and about what is true.

You'll see that the clowns are still funny and have a red nose.
But then you'll see realize only money buys the ladies rare clothes.

That's also when you realize your clothes are faded and dim.
And you recognize how many times you've been beaten by him.

Yes, those clowns with paddles are at it again.
Funny. They are married and they're children number ten.

Thier children are scared and crying in bed.
Because thier big mean daddy made thier sweet mommy dead.

Details | Limerick | |

Old Edgar A Poe My Kin

Since I'm kin to Edgar Allen Poe
I like for Halloween to cause much woe.
     Out in the streets they're dressed up.
     And with all their crimes they corrupt.
The more the merrier, I say let them go!

I swing my pendulum everyday.
Those who are wise better get out of my way.
     Consider the dead
     Even some in their bed.
Needs to get out on this day and play!

In the graveyard the zombies are restless.
In the cave tops the bats wings getting stressless.
     They're ready to play
     On this Halloween day.
When they finish tonight they'll be guestless!!!!!

Details | Rhyme | |

The War Zone

I open the door to the bathroom
The girls having just had their bath
And what greets my eyes, I can only 
Describe as a nuclear aftermath!
The carpet is perfectly sodden
It’s been bombarded with towels and clothes
Trickling down tiles is a long sticky mess
From the shower gel that wasn’t closed,
The bath sides are covered in shrapnel 
Bottle tops, bubble bath and shampoo
With a blanket of talcum fallout
Covering the toilet, sink and floor too,
With the hostiles tucked into pyjamas
At least warfare, now, can cease
But it’s going to take forever
To bring this ‘war zone’, peace,
As I get to the end of the cleaning
The girls’ father comes walking in
“Is the water hot enough for a bath?”
And the holocaust starts again!

Details | Limerick | |

Lock Up

<                             once there was a girl locked in closet
                               dear old dad said well thats what you get
                               little did he come know
                               let out by little bro
                               but recaptured by moms fishing net 

Entry For Leighann Anderson's
Sea Of Words Contest
G.L. All                               

Details | Rhyme | |

Hurry Home

My dear,
As I'm lying on your pillow here

I pray for God to watch over you each night
And help guide you through your daily plights

I can hear sounds of wispiring winds
And see through window's pane a mighty stars spin

Just knowing your battling on foreign soil
Over someone else's turmoils

Makes me just love you that much more
But please hurry home hun to finish your own dam choirs

                                                Meowwwww LOL

Tribute To Our Troops And Loved Ones
Hurry Home
God Bless U.S.A.

Also Entry For Brian Strand's 
My Dear Contest

Details | Rhyme | |


"Granny cut my hair", grandson said "I'll just take you to town". "No, don't spend that money", he said "Ouch, that pulls" said with frown Those ladies and men at those salons Make it look so easy Just run those clippers up those heads In just one sweep breezy Well to tell truth, heads are odd shaped Those clippers don't just flow There are bumps along crooked way Had to plough trifallow

Details | Free verse | |

Power of praise I

Power of praise

When moved by God's spirit we all can rejoice

We can stand at attention with our voice alone
In days of disaster we can add a sense of laughter
Many get caught up with the great here & now
Yet pay no attention toward a great here after

Others alter their intellect only to achieve devastating disaster

The power of praise ensues riches untold

Within eqxuisite idol fancy having riches to unfold
A warm heart filled with truth to withstand a truest test in time
The power of praise will once again unite the forces sublime
Even if you go unrecognized now

Your name will be forever exalted some day!

Details | Lyric | |


My rhymes are timeless while this time is lifeless
why is life this kind less, reminds me that this
mind is spineless ready to tip and quit, as
my lies become mindless and get swollen shut
and Stuck up inside my sinus
Drivin in my prime but with no optimus
Victim to the flip-side of the Midas
Running through my blood like a virus
The sun makes my skin mundane
rubbin on ben gay but get arthritis
touch spermicide and converts to hepatitis
I hit the plus sign but it just musters up a minus
I'm seen sucking my thumb like the peanut's Linus
I run and duck when I hear the sirens cause
I abducted the president's Nike air pumps
now air force one is trying to find us
I'm at my desk obsessin about success but
This whole time its been right behind us

Details | Rhyme | |

Warning for Future Parents

What to do when starting at 1

2 at a time now 3 is done

4 is fun yet 5 has come 

and 6 is here should we've begun

Oh no now 7 could this be true

and 8 and 9 what to do

add a 1 and no more too

that makes 10 what a crew

Remember though when starting 

at 1 that making the kids is part of the fun

So I warn you all when starting at 1 

be responsible in your love with your daughters and sons 

Details | I do not know? | |


I RUN from FEAR.



I FIGHT cause of FEAR.

I'm FAR from you.

I'm SCARED cause of you.

You're the FEAR that I HUNT.

You're the FEAR that I FIGHT.

You're the FEAR that SCARED me for LIFE.

*Comment if you have any thought and if you like it. oh and some of the poems i write arn't 
always my feelings. their some times just to get through other people so they can have 
something to read that just fit's them.*


Details | Free verse | |

Shaking The Lily Pad

I have a big, old froggie that lives in my ornate lily pond, so refined.
And every time I have a guest, he Farts and spurts water from his behind.
My son has named him bubbles and tells everyone, how he is so fine...
Now, you must know he’s only five with potty humor on his mind…

It started as I included my son, while finding a fountain for my pond.
But he came home and told his dad, who now also had to come along. 
While I kept looking for a fountain, you know… with exquisite flair.
My son kept asking me for a special one, that farts water out his tail.

Now, as I watched my two beloved gentlemen, I knew something was afoot.
I found retreat a better thing, as I high tailed it away, with a serious hotfoot.
Sure enough, my birthday present turned out to be that froggie for my pond.
And I certainly couldn’t hurt my son’s feelings by saying no, to respond.

My hubby laughed as he pointed out a place, they had agreed it should go.
Yes, you guessed, it’s the first thing you see, that your eyes can bestow.
Perhaps my plight is really not so bad… or at least, my hubby now tells me so.
Even though the guests’ eyes grow big, and their walk becomes really slow.

As I see their looks, a better conversation piece could never have ever been.
As I gently explain my son’s love for me, is touching, don’t you think? Again.
Of course the little froggie keeps farting and wildly smiling, throughout it all.
But the smiles are never near as big, as my guests’ smiles… that suddenly grow…

As they become enchanted with the understanding of it all.

Details | Romanticism | |

More Then Just Lines

I think I've seen you in my dreams, you're matching every description.
Your love is like a drug, I'd kill to fill the prescription.
You give me so much excitement, like when babies are born.
You're the only flower I see that's in this garden of thorns.
You must be Jamaican, because you're Jamaican me crazy.
Let's get a place together and maybe raise up a baby.
A lot of people call me Trav, but you can call me tonight.
You have the most beautiful eyes in the world, just like the stars they shine bright.
If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
You could make a shy guy try and make a blind man see.
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.
You've got me floating like a feather, and I want to feel this way forever.
You may think these are just lines, or maybe all the above,
but please read this with your heart, because you're the woman I love.

Details | Prose Poetry | |


"Each experience is locked within my heart and only I hold the key..."

“Dad, I’m going to straighten your closet for you,” 
my wife said as she set upon the task of pulling out his 
clothes and refolding and re-hanging each item.
“I have to go to the John.” was his reply.
“OK, you go. Need help?” she asked him.
“No.” Into the bathroom he went.
Immediately out he came again.
“Can you help me with my pants?”
“Sure dad, there you go.”
Back in again but leaving the door wide open this time.
She closed it and went back to the closet.
“Why don’t they put his things back the way they should go?”
Fold, hang, arrange.
“Dad are you OK in there? Do you need help?”
“No. Can you come in and help me with my pants?”
“Dad, you have them on backwards.
That’s why you can’t find the zipper. Here let me help.”
Out they both come. 
A successful mission.
“What do you think of your closet now?”
“Wow! I have the best looking closet in the whole place.”
“Yes you do. I’m going to talk to them about keeping it that way.”
Out the door she goes. 
A new purpose. 
Making things better for her dad.
“She’ll give them hell,” he said to me.
We watched the news for a while and then he got up.
He went to the closet and pulled out some clothes.
After unfolding them and looking at them he stuffed them back in.
Not in the right place. 
He sat down and smiled.

Tony Lane
A Fragment Of Life contest
Written 8/20/11

Details | Free verse | |

Life Goes On

No, I cannot remember the moment life began for me in my mother’s womb: You know, a 
brand new creation after leaving my father to stick to my mother for nine months, like would never happen again.  
Neither can I remember when I traveled the birth canal to enter the world that awaited my presence. Actually, they were the wrong hands that I entered: the very ones that 
disconnected me from my mother and slapped me on the bottoms to hear me say what was on my mind, just for that moment!  
I do believe most of us have been there. 
Well, here’s a bit more that we can agree on: 
From there, life goes on….

Details | Rhyme | |

The Mum

The first to wake
Another day
Another show
Boom boom, shake shake
Sleepy yawns
Wakey wake

Supermarket run
I used to find them so much fun
Until she decided to scream and shout
Bring it on girl
Loud and all out
I’ll just go and hide on my cloud

Ready steady bake
Last to eat the cake
“Have you had some Mum?”
No darling, you take

Mechanical moves
Automated mind
I don’t mind
I’d like for you to shed me
Some kind
Spend some time
To simply find
It’s healthy at times to be blind

I push, I pull
Kids to school
I wish I were just 
Horizontal in a pool

I could just walk out
“No mum that’s not cool”
Would I be such a fool?
But I’m the queen you know
I make the rules

The irritating whining song
A bell at the door
I really need a manicure; it’s been so long
Door again
Ting tong
“What took you so long?”
I’m sorry 
I was busy window-shopping in Hong Kong

“Where’s my glove mum?”
Deep breathes, play dumb
“Where’s my recorder mum?”
One, two, three
Numb numb
“Sweetheart bring me the remote”
Here darling, stick it up your bum

The first to wake
The first to leave home
I want to be first in bed some days
To sit around and just laze
I need a haircut, some highlights
“Are you listening mum?”

Details | Rondeau Redouble | |

Soul Food

Bagels and baguettes
Bap or fried bake,
The fruits of the flour
are easy to make

Chollah, chapatti  
Cinnamon bun
These global delights
make eating such fun

Filled with Caribbean sweet meat
like Guava jam,
Scottish smoked salmon; 
Or Danish roast ham

Add a fresh fruit salad,
 some sparkling wine
A candle, red roses and  
you’re ready to dine.

Details | Burlesque | |


The pain won't go away!
Could it be the chili dog for breakfast that I ate?

My stomach is aflame!
I feel it in my ovaries, I swear it is doomsday!

My head is a balloon!
Give me pills, give me shots, the end is coming soon!

I hear noise, what's that ruckus?
It hurts in places normally only my swimsuit touches!

Don't stand there, tapping your feet!
Call up House M.D., E.R., get Gray's Anatomy!!!

My time is drawing nigh!
Take me off the donor list, these organs here are MINE!

I'm too young for heaven!
Please, God, I can't die, I have kids and a wife, so don't take me, TAKE THEM!

Wait, what's that? Snow outside?
No school today? I Feel OK! Don't worry so much next time!

Details | Light Poetry | |

The Head Hunter Christmas

We have a Christmas tradition in our family as you’re about to see, We’ve always hung a shrunken head in the boughs of our Christmas tree. His eyes and mouth have been stitched shut which makes him pretty scary, This is why he’s called the grouch even though to us he is quite merry. What was it that brought him to this spot at the center of our shrub? He’s not the normal décor you would say but our traditions we’ll never snub. Before my mother had met my father she went for a day at Disneyland, She decided to purchase a souvenir that was being sold at a stand. Mom told her roommate that she would buy whichever one that she said, Her roommate smiled an impish grin and pointed to the shrunken head. Mom adorned her front door with the head so when my dad first came to call, He knew he’d found a girl with a sense of humor to match his after all. When they’d wed the Grouch had earned a place in their Christmas season, The love of laughter that they shared was represented by this reason. So by the time that I was born the Grouch had always been hanging there, To take him from the Christmas tree would make the branches look too bare. I know that a shrunken head from Disneyland is not for everybody’s taste, But in our family the Grouch’s head can never be replaced. So sing your songs of Christmas joy and hold fast to your traditions, And try to hold fast to your head on your next holiday expedition.

Details | Rhyme | |

Old Like Me

With intention, I walk into the laundry room to get what was it now, Let’s see, looking around ~ I know it will come to me somehow. I’ll resolve this, so back to the kitchen, I carefully retrace my path, It strikes me, I need some bleach, its like solving a problem in math. Every morning I gather the newspaper and sit down to have a read, Eagerly I open the paper, now where are the reading glasses I need. After searching countertops, tables and finally deep inside my purse I find my multi-coloured magnifying glasses as I give out a quiet curse. I seem to be tired all the time but when I hit the bed I just can’t sleep, Finally I drift off after a soothing bath, sipping hot milk and counting sheep. No sooner I’m asleep when the pain becomes so intense, again I’m awake, My hip hurts, my shoulder aches ~ oh someone shoot me for pity’s sake. My conversations don’t include the word old any more because that’s me, Feeling young but according to Denny’s I am a senior, in the upper category! Caught in limbo with age, it seems somewhere between heaven and hell, Pay full price for the bus and a movie, but I can eat for less at Taco Bell. My knowledge and skills lose their relevance to my ever independent kids, Along the way we’ve switched from teacher to student, we’ve changed grids. Now retired I have time to walk and exercise but my joints limit the amount, My metabolism has really changed, seems all food has a triple caloric count. Are there benefits to being a senior, having to take drugs, I don’t condone, Maybe being able to watch my family grow and mature with lives of their own Because now, I am the storyteller, keeping the traditions of our family alive, The elder who outlines what we stand for, guiding our history as we thrive.
Written July 28, 2012 For Nancy Jones’ contest This is how life feels when you get to be my age

Details | ABC | |

I'm as young as I feel



Details | Sonnet | |

Holiday Mishaps

The room looks over and starts to chuckle.
An oddly beautiful stream of cider
Erupting from the nose of my uncle.
Kids waiting for a Christmas night rider,

All hoping to finally see Saint Nick.
Aunty Mary stands up and starts to twirl,
Nigh knocking over a lamp, she stops quick,
And she instead flattens the nearest girl.

Family running to see if she is fine,
We end up running into each other.
Dinner’s done, I head for the starting line,
And I’m elbowed in the face by brother.

It wouldn’t be family, well I assume,
Lack a trip to the emergency room.

Details | Limerick | |

Ma Dropping It Like Its Hot (Limerick)

Ms. Potter caught her daughter Lollipop
There dancing in the grocer’s parking lot
And scolded her profusely
‘Til someone cranked up “Juicy”…
Ms. Potter stopped and dropped it like it’s hot

How soon some forget that they were once young too. If the power of dance is ones 
passion it is not the worst vice a child can have, in fact it is good exercise.  One 

Details | Rhyme | |

Elegance is Bliss

                                  Ornery in the mornings balled up on my chair, 
                               a stretch, a yawn, a "purr" to remind me she's there. 

                                  Delicately munching her chicken flavored brunch,
                                      leaned over her bowl with an elegant hunch.

                                       She spins, flops, rolls and claws, and ZING!... 
                                            She's gone without a blinking pause.

                                                   Catnip guiltily clouds the air, 
                                    the red handed suspect creator of this devilish hair. 

                                            She flies back in and drops to her back,
                                      "now you sir rub my belly whilst I take a nap!"

                                          How splendidly grand the life of this cat.

Details | Free verse | |

Crackers ‘n' Cheese

I was a-munchin’ ‘n’ a-crunchin’ on some crackers ‘n’ cheese
When a-someone or a-somethin’ came ‘n’ tickled my knees –

With her tail up in the air in a question mark tease,
‘Twas my little grey kitten mewin’ wide-green eyed pleas –

Beggin’ of her human, “Oh kind human, please
Won’t you let me share in yer crackers ‘n’ cheese?”

I looked into her tiny face ‘n’ made the choice with ease –
Doncha know that to my heart this kitten holds the keys?

I felt her purrs flow past me, a gentle, liltin’ breeze,
 ‘N’ now my kitten’s doin’ the munchin’ on my crackers ‘n’ cheese!

Details | Canzone | |



I’ve known so many men who’ve left and I prayed they’d never come back
And then there is this one dude who left the North and traveled down south
He carried his meager belongs in a bag akin to Santa’s Xmas sack
He’s a dude who has never learned to shut his foolish mouth

He thinks himself wise yet he’s nothing but a fool
So he stands on a corner begging people’s ear
He uses his mouth as a rusted and useless tool
For he has nothing to say which people want to hear

They’ve heard the same things in a thousand different ways
Like Chicken Little and his assertion that the sky will fall
He begs the people to look up for he is a pious man who devoutly prays
Yet all of these people are wise enough to ignore his call

He’s got big ideas, a big mouth and won’t keep quiet on a bet
No one likes him as they try to avoid what they hear and see
He thinks himself so smart yet he has trouble with the alphabet
And I know he’s ignorant because that man is me
         © 2011.…..Phreepoetree  ~free cee!~

Details | Light Poetry | |

Lovers Tiff

Stephanie, Stephanie, Stephanie
Your demands will be the death of me
I’ve done my best now let me rest
You’ve drained my body physically 
You’ve worn me out I’ve had enough
I can’t keep on performing 
Let's take a break, relax, unwind
Continue in the morning

Okay, come on, let’s do it
We’ve had our little tiff
I’ve had myself a rest, and
Now I’m getting rather stiff
So get up to the bedroom
We’ll continue with this caper
But you can do the pasting, and
I will hang the paper

Details | Sonnet | |

USA Marriage Justice Today

Oh, my sweet girl, come and shack up, with me.
We shall live on welfare and space out to see.
How many food stamp cards, we can arrange,
We shall visit for meds and beg for change.
Upon the riverbanks, we shall catch a cold.
Then we shall collect our oxy-cotton gold.
I shall gather clothes from good wills chest.
You prepare to go visit relatives in the west.
My sweet girl I shall give you no gold.
However, get you, giving us babies to hold.
A bed of daisies, I shall have waiting for you.
For freshening up our pet hound, old blue.
Our cousin Joe has a house that is so big.
We shall move in, us all, even with our pig.

Details | Rhyme | |

Little Marie

Little Marie
Is a pretty little girl
With baby blue eyes
And big, blond curls.
She does her homework
And reads about Rome.
But oh, you should see her
When she is at home!

She screams and she cries
And she yells at her mama.
Simple family dinner
Often turns into drama
About who-gets-what
And who-sits-where.
And if Marie's not satisfied
She pulls her sibling's hair.

She kicks what she wants
And hits what she will.
Rips and tears
Her family's phone bill.
She breaks dozens of glass
With each passing week.
And once drowned the family cat;
She called it a worthless freak.

But if these horrible things
Were told to others,
They'd  just shake their heads
And mutter,
"Little Marie
Wouldn't do such things.
She's so sweet
To her family she'd bring

Happiness and fortune
She'd be their dream come true.
I do wish she's my little girl,
Oh yes, I do!"
And then they'd pat her little head
And she'd skip away with grace.
But they won't be able to see
The smirk on her face!

Details | Rhyme | |

It's All Relative's' In Heaven

Lately I’ve been thinking about heaven
And the renowned paradise up there
Plus getting to see my brethren
And memories that we’ll get to share

But a thought came into my noodle
An idea I’ve never thought before
That my kin, of which there must be oodles
Of maybe ten thousand or more

Coz I expect most my past relations
Have made the trip above the clouds
And if they’re all there since creation
Then they must have formed a large crowd

So that not only grandparents I’ll see
Yes sure enough, dead cousins too
Plus there’ll be grand’s to the tenth degree
In a couple of miles-long queue

Yes, they’ll most likely all know my name
And introduce me while giving their own
But after hugging great, great, great aunt Mame
All the other names will remain unknown

Yet, in heaven we’ll all be happy
And enjoy each day of the week
That is until great to the 8th grand pappy
Loses his teeth and refuses to speak

For Carol's Humor Contest

Details | Free verse | |

Christmas Memories

Vegetarian mom making
Turkey and ham
Trying to please everyone

And veggie burgers
On the “George Foreman” Grill
Not sure where this coming from?

Grandma in her wheelchair
Boys’ pushing her around
The little dog is lap bound.

Grandpa going down the steps
Trying with his cane so hard
Please help the old man down!

Appetizer dish with 
Everything pickled
The South is where I am from

Family of many sharing 
Christmas memories 
Of days long gone by

Norah Jones on the stereo 
Sweet voice she has
Playing background in the room

Presents galore
Around a synthetic tree
Decorated with lights and more

“Oh no! Boys’ stop!
Grandma's heading for the tree!”
Oh well, the angel fell, sure looks pretty on me!

Macaroni pie, sweet carrots
Candied yams, the children and I
Panting around the table of food

Apple, southern pecan
Peach and cherry pie
Everyone can hardly wait to try

The Southern Belle 
Has something to tell, 
“It’s time to eat, Go find your seat!”

Open your presents
After dinner
Lots of laughter and fun

“What did you get?”
“Look what I got?”
What a delight, paper spun around

Time for dessert
Ready to burst, but
Manners are number one

Women in the kitchen
Cleaning up the dishes
Men asleep from too much fun.

Next year we will repeat
For this is how we do it
In the Winter’s Southern Sun! 

©Holly P. Moore
   November 2012

Details | Free verse | |

A 'F' Story

Final year of college 
Final term
Field trip
Fire camp night
Farewell party
Friends forever departing
Foolish temptations
Fierce desires
Future foggy
Furious flames, 
Frequent eyeing
Found a seclusion
Frozen ice break
Furry feeling
Fantastic union
Frosty foreheads
Fear you not 
For a love forever
Friendship burnout
Phoenix leap in love
Feast and vows too 
Family unions
Framing a family photo

Details | Rhyme | |

An Unlikely Husband

Some say men give you sanctuary 
others deem them sedimentary. 
My cousin claims they’re alive to cheat 
anyone and everyone that they meet. 
Yet some can’t help but fall in love 
saying he was their match; the other glove. 
Some blame the syllables of adoration muttered in their ear
or the TV for unveiling marriage without fear.
Whether men are thought wonderful or wild 
I possess one with a mild 
temper, who’s been with me for fifteen years 
we don’t grasp each other’s hands or even kiss 
believed by some to be a couple’s bliss. 
Yet if sorrow haunts me 
or if tears grace the floor, 
he is forever there to adore. 
Instead, I enjoy stroking his hair,
as we lounge by the fire without a care. 
His interests involve watching birds flutter about 
outside in the lawn, where he’d enjoy getting out.  
I chose him, yet he chose me
sat upon my lap, the rest was history.  
I know upon him my heart is set 
he isn’t employed, but on me he’s spent 
a thousand purrs and mews of hello, 
and unwavering trust enough to know 
that I will always provide for and care 
for my trusted feline companion…
I know he’ll always be there.

Details | Free verse | |

Chihuahua Football At The Rose Hill Stadium

Chihuahua Football At The Rose Hill Stadium
Watching football at home with my little dogs on a cold winter night, I realize that I coach my 
own football team.
Running deep far into the football field at the Rose Hill Stadium (Which is my vegetable-dyed 
Persian rug that I bought at an estate sale to cover my hardwoods.) is Piglet, a young and 
highly spirited white short-hair Chihuahua, who happens to also be a neutered male, ripped 
with lots of muscles and little body fat.  Piglet leaps up high and is able to catch in mid-air 
the fluffy white piece of parmesan cheese covered popcorn with his cute little white teeth. 
(That I just brushed with chicken flavored toothpaste after his bath)
Tessie, the long-haired, black and white female Chihuahua, who is not so lean, executes 
most of her plays as the defensive tackle position.  She often blocks Piglet from catching his 
popcorn and also profits from his fumbles, by intercepting his popcorn and eating it before 
she is able to execute a perfect touchdown.  (Haven’t managed to teach her to delay eating 
her popcorn yet)
Each year they get better and better, next year they might be ready to take their show on 
the road.  Until then, they have until the Super Bowl to practice their four footed maneuvers 
and tricks.  At best, they could make it to Letterman's Stupid Pet Tricks some day soon.
(No harm was done to animals in preparation of writing this poem or playing Chihuahua 

Details | Rhyme | |

Zippedy Do Dah

 <                                      Zippedy  Do  Dah  

                                         Zippedy     Day  

                                       Open    Hearts    Souls

                                       Sing    Loud     Today

                                           Zippedy   Do   Dah  

                                           Zippedy          Day  

                                    Thank    You    Sweet     Lord

                                     Bountys    Come   My    Way

                                           Zippedy  Do  Dah   

                                           Zippedy        Day   

                                          Smell   Frangrence

                                   From    Flowers    Picked   Today

                                           Zippedy  Do   Dah   

                                           Zippedy      Day   

                                        Hugs      And      Kisses

                                To     Children    Comes   My   Way

                                           Zippedy   Do   Dah   

                                           Zippedy          Day   

                                           Join    With    Me

                                          Sunshine's    Hooray   

                                           Zippedy  Do   Dah   

                                           Zippedy         Day   

                                          Keep    This   Tune 

                                          Going     All       Day

                                          Zippedy   Do    Dah   

                                          Zippedy           Day   

                                  Not    Sure    Rythem    Rhyme

                                 Will   March    Same    Way ...   Hey  !

                                          Zippedy   Do    Dah   

                                          Zippedy          Day   

                                                 Been    Fun  

                                            Must   Be   On    Way

                                             Zippedy   Do  Dah   

                                             Zippedy         Day   

                                  Thanks  Dane  Ann  Smith  Johnson

                                 For  Contest   To   Join   And   ...   Play

Details | Rhyme | |

My Family and Me

It's amazing how quick things can change.
First your running with the kings, and then you're knocked out of range.
It's strange. I used to worry and stress over friends.
Now I've grown to be a man. Maybe know a few of them.
All that time I could of studied. Did better in school.
Got a job and made it big. Maybe now I'd be cool.
Who's the fool? Now who's the bull? I know that's not me on the top.
Life is always making turns weather you like it or not.
The past will always be the past. My glory days may seem gone.
But, now its time to start a new.The stories keep coming on.
I've got a new girl. She means the world to me.
She keeps me warm at night, my best friend, my new dream.
Since my car accident, still got a limp on one side.
Still working with my memory, still need a friend who can drive.
I love to Karaoke. I get noticed in bars.
My mom's always there to catch me. Tom's working with my mom's cars.
My sister's in the Army, my niece is a big part of my life,
Friend Zach keeps assholes off me, and God is my wife.
AJ's always there to help, Brian is my LOST bud,
Mary's out of school, Lil cousin, Hunter's a stud.
Grandpa still is my idol, JT is still the music man .
The Adam's still can party. Chris, living good on the sand.
I may only use one hand, but I plan to be the best.
At all I do in life, cause there's not that much time left.
The blood test that I took says Landon is mine.
I hope this all works out fine in time and help to make my son's life shine.
JC who's down in Georiga, my heart is screaming for you.
I hope that you recover well. It can't be worse then what I went through.
Uncle Jimmy where you at? Where's Matt, Corie, and Pete?
I know you all are doing good. Serviolo's are a hard team to beat.
How's the rest of the family? I love and miss you all!
I hope you all are standing tall and I pray we never fall.
These last words that I say, I say only to you.
We've got the best family in the world and you know I LOVE YOU!

Details | Rhyme | |

beware there in

Dad heard a scream from up stairs,
He ran to his son’s rescue and found him in tears.
“What’s the matter son?” Dad gently said,
There’s, there’s a monster in the bathroom and I’m really scared.

“It’s lumpy and hairy with a warts on it legs,”
“And on it’s chest it has what looks like two scrambled eggs”
“It’s belly hangs all the way down to it’s knees
“Daddy, daddy, protect me please!” 

“It knows my name, it, it said it through a toothless grin,”
“It’s face is vomit green.”
“Enough,” said Dad smiling, “There’s no such thing.”
A rumbling noise came from the bathroom.
Go see Dad but come back soon.

Dad stood by the bathroom door for a while be fore he went in
And when he opened it his terrified son heard dad scream.
The monster had a huge wart on it’s bum
That's when dad recognized it and said “ Son needs therapy now How could you mum”

*For Lisa who gave me the title. I hope it is good for you as it was for me :-)*

Details | Couplet | |

Linda Marie The Sweetheart Of P.S.

<                                            Sweetheart

                                          Where shall I start

                                              Linda  Marie

                                         You'll surely agree

                                            Travels  around

                                           Soup    land   town

                                     North  South  East  and  West

                                 Your poetry she  will taste and test

                                        Never leaves smitten notes

                                    Or even some nasty blog quotes

                                  She packs you in her traveling suitcase

                                     You know the one dressed in lace

                                          Wether stateside or abroad

                                          This woman is not a fraud

                                         Only kindness and senserity

                               If I was a guy even would ask her to marry me  { LOL }

                                          But for now will be forever friends

                                   Like A shining armor I will always's defend 

                                             This sweetheart of poetry soup

                            Who makes me not to want to fly from this coupe



Details | Verse | |

Pink Slime

Pink Slime, Pesticides
And chicken thighs bigger than my thighs

And we wonder why there is an increase
in learning disabilities among children today 
I say it’s because the process, that the food is processed and grown and raised, is
compromised by demand, money, greed or fame. 
I do understand that demand is high 
so we have to do somethin’

So to compete, we inject hormones into the very animal or plant that is sold for consumption
So now we eat these hormones and our bodies are stressed because of the added pesticides and  herbicides and other sh#! that’s hard to digest  

I mean what’s really the cause?
There’s more kids with disabilities today than there ever was  
I say it’s because like the story is told in the verses, that knowledge is increasing in man and the result is not what He purposed. 

Pink Slime and Pesticides..We’re eating stuff that’s been chemically grown inside…and chickens bigger than my thighs

Details | Rhyme | |

Handy Man

As sweet and fluffy as cotton candy
Is my love who is so handy
With his repair kit to fix things dandy
It's so nice to have man about___eyecandy

Details | Rhyme | |

The Best Gift Ever

The best gift I received was a cover 
In 1975 from my mother
You are thinking ‘that’s a terrible presents’ 
But back then we were cold, hungry peasants. 
It was fluffy polyester with rayon
Or was it pink polyester and nylon?
It was labeled a ‘velvety soft mink’
Never washed it became the ‘pink stink’
I would turn myself into a taco
And feel like I’d won life’s big lotto. 

Details | Cowboy | |

guitar band dementia

camera three is having 
an existential crisis; 
his long languid lens 
has suffered in silence, 
an impotent shard of 
quixotic resistance, 
for his vision won’t 
focus on faecal injustice, 

camera three is having 
an existential crisis; 
mascots, despots, 
or other devices,
just won’t solve the problem,
or even negate, 
this delicate time 
in his delicate state,

camera three is having 
an existential crisis; 
Osiris, Anubis, Oasis and Isis, 
have all shed the skin of 
guitar band dementia, 
wheeling out wisdom 
for the fear of inertia,
camera three is having 
an existential crisis…

Details | Rhyme | |

Me Sister Bren

Dear Sister, this is for you, again you win
Artist of the year, and sexiest friend
Such an adorable person, so I rate you a ten
Tony is an imposter; I’m your real kin 
See the doctor loathe me because I had muscles of men
But anyway, tell the mama I’ll never see again 
“Thank you Katherine for conceiving… me sister Bren”

Details | Limerick | |

Which One Is the Insister

She insisted on careless key twisting.
Now she's mad and locked out and it's misting.
And her sister's locked in...
Who's "in-sister" again,
If the "out-sister" did the insisting?

Details | Sonnet | |

Have A Sardine

Have a Sardine? :

Oh how I love to eat sardines?
Just the thought makes my face turn puce!
Gas in my tummy, they induce.
They don't go that well with baked beans.

Sandwiches made with these morsels.
Can only eat two at a time;
taken with a bit of fresh lime.
Some people eat them with mussels.

The thought of these will make some puke!
Keep it away, he will rebuke!
The smell enough to make him sneeze,
the sight of which will make him wheeze!

Put one in the microwave and nuke.
He said: "Oh my God, this is Yuke."

Steven Beesley (c) 2005-10-03

A sonnet that uses the redondilla form as a base. Each line has 8 syllables and the rhyme scheme may be abba cddc eeff ee or abba abba ccdd cc. It is also known as the Redondilla sonnet, the Napoleonic sonnet, or the Sonondilla. 

Details | Dramatic monologue | |

This Your Birthday

Ok! so you are not exactly
A spring chicken and you
Don't hear so good anymore
But, it is still your Birthday Day
You are not on a social decline
You are merely probably just
Rembering a little more
Than usual and if you haven't
Lost your mind or memory by now
Then you are one more day secure'
And the Lord is giving you credit
For just one more day
And think, that is remarkable
In itself!


Details | Verse | |

Grattitude First lesson in Christian Living

Dear little pony, the children’s clown,
Rough mane stands tall, his thick tail tumbles down.
Jiggety, jog.  Yes, some riders have frowned.
Dad can ride him with two feet on the ground!
He’s a tough little, nuggety, wonderful chap
Who can live on the roughest of diet mishap.
We don’t feed him oats much, he’ll founder on those,
But if you can ride him you’re right home and hosed!
He’s full of the tricks that intelligence brings.
He’s always a challenge until mummy sings
Out loud, lets him know that he can’t get away
With presenting his backside to children today.
The children must learn how to command him too.
It isn’t the easiest thing they must do,
But they look for the pleasure of riding again,
So they learn how to handle tough diamond disdain.
They must learn how to stop him from racing away
Towards home when his head is turned facing that way.
His mind is on resting with food in his trough,
But his job is to teach, and he does it but tough!
Tough diamond’s a doorway to wonderful thrills
In the glorious world of the horseman’s spills
And great challenges.  Once you can master this rascal
Nothing can daunt you.  Introductory sample
Of every excitement that riding can offer,
He’s cute, pert, adorable, and he can proffer
Essential abilities.  Gratitude is
The gateway to mastery, sire of bliss!
Every offence becomes laughable when
You think back to this tough little customer. Then
Your mind turns to teaching, as Daddy once did.
No more can the mud of offence cause a skid.
You’ll go round it.  Or jump it. There’s no need to fall
 When Gratitude’s mastered.  Remembering all
Those scuffles you had that your dad helped you through,
You’ll mother, or father, or teach others too.

Details | Narrative | |

WaSn'T Me

In our Family, we have seven kids, 
Well, that's how many I thought we did. 
But whenever I do a count. 
I never get to that amount. 
More often than not there's a few more, 
Sometimes I think we have a swinging door. 

I love it when they all appear, 
Filling the house with laughter and cheer. 
But whenever the friends all go home, 
And I think we're all alone, 
Somebody says that name, 
Then I know he's here again. 

Everytime something is not right, 
And the kids wind up in a fight, 
Wasn't Me always gets the blame, 
I know we didn't give any of our kids that name!. 
I hear his name frequently everyday, 
I didn't do it, "It Wasn't Me!", they'd say. 

Now I've come to the conclusion, he's just a naughty boy, 
But never having set eyes on him is beginning to annoy. 
I can't recall when he first came, 
But I do know he is always to blame. 
As soon something goes amiss, 
"It Wasn't Me!," the kids all hiss. 

Well, I wish this kid would just go home, 
And leave our Family all alone. 
Things were great before he came, 
 I had the kids almost tame!

Details | Quatrain | |

Adam's Side Kick

I’ve been a pain in your side “Why let me see…”
“You’re made from God but you say I’m made from thee?”
You talk to the animals and to the sky?
As the moon lights the night you talk to my…thigh?

You want to run bare arse all through the woods
We’ll if you keep doing that you won’t have ANY “goods?”
So, you don’t like the fig leaf. It’s a bad choice?
“Well, use your words! Speak up! You got a voice.”

“You work? So you say. Just what do you do?”
All we eat are the fruits and some vegetable stew.
I cry at the sunrise. I’m not used to these eyes.
And I still can remember being inside God’s sigh.

I cry cause the wind blows dust at moon rise
I’m frightened and wonder what’s the next …SURPRISE!
Neighbors? What neighbors? Toss the leave use a peel
what care I for the wonder of what you’ll reveal.

Eden was wonderful, and ignorance bliss
yet so is the delight of a your so human kiss.
I love you, I’ll stay no mater the plight
and raise up our children and handle the fright.

*dedicated to Larry Belt's Adam / A Pain in my Side

Details | Rhyme | |

My Sisters

You’re my sister’s and I love you,
You’re crazy just like me.
You listen to my feelings,
And most times you agree.

Our family has some problems,
And that we can’t deny.
You both sit there and you comfort me,
And tell me not to cry.

No one can come between us,
But people sure have tried.
We grew up all together,
And that we take great pride.

We may not always get along, 
In fact we disagree a lot.
Like the time I ate your chicken wing,
But said I didn’t when I got caught.

You blamed me when your clothes went missing,
You said you were sure that it was me.
But I didn’t take your brand new pants,
And that you must believe.

No matter what the problem is,
We always work it out.
We are sisters and we love each other,
And that, no one can doubt. 

Details | I do not know? | |

More than weather, can be frightful or Unseasonal Christmas

Used to be the weather was frightful
People covered themselves from head to toe
Now, despite the fact it’s Christmas season
I see more sand, than I see snow
The temperatures keep on elevating
To the moon, they just seem to rise
Oh, where is the Christmas of yesterday
The rosy cheeks, windows fogged with ice

It’s just too warm now for Christmas
Too hot to shop, too hot to run around
Santa’s working at the pole in a speedo
That’s nothing, we wanna see come to town

Frosty, it seems we’re not gonna see him
Heat miser, now, has gotten his day
Can’t ole Jack Frost do something about this
And chase the warm weather away
No need to chop wood set for burning
The heated air replaces that in the hearth
I hope it gets cold and very soon, too
Because Christmas puts warmth in everyone’s heart

It’s just too warm now for Christmas
Too hot to shop, too hot to run around
Santa’s working at the pole in a speedo
That’s nothing, we wanna see come to town

Oh, when Christmas day finally gets here
Right now, I’ll tell ya, all I wanna see
Are people with scarves and gloves on their hands
And snow bringing life to all barren trees
I want the temps to chill me right to the bone
That’s when I’ll know it’s Christmas time
Who wants to look up and see a sleigh
With a fat man in a speedo, flying around

It’s just too warm now for Christmas
Too hot to shop, too hot to run around
Santa’s working at the pole in a speedo
That’s nothing, we wanna see come to town

Details | Rhyme | |

The Qualities That a True Friend Must Have

What are the qualities that a friend should
have – that which would make a true friend so true?
A friend is one whom you like to be with
while a true friend insists on being with you.

A friend likes you when you have so much in
common. True friends like you who for who you are.
True friends make you feel as though they are at
all times near, although they are very far.

A true friend is one whom you can always
talk to, even at night when it is late -
when loved ones are asleep, a true friend is
always there to hear what you have to say.

Friends like to share, but a true friend always
gives you – not what you want, but what you need.
The feelings you hide, as well as your thoughts,
and your dreams,  a true friend can always read.

A friend may forgive you or they may not
forgive, for something wrong you’ve done to them.
A true friend forgives even when you don’t
ask. True friends forgive - again and again.

Friends are close when you are close to them. A
true friend wants your friendship to be closer.
A true friend does what is best for you, and
hates that you would end up with the losers.

A true friend teaches you lessons to help
you grow – lessons that are hard and easy.
A true friend is always there - having a
true friend can never make you feel lonely.

Friends may sometimes make mistakes, but a true
friend is always careful not to hurt you.
A true friend is a guide and a teacher.
A true friend knows everything you go through.

The true friend I mention is our God,
who kept you company before you were born.
The friendship of God, if you truly keep
and cherish, you will never feel forlorn.

The true friend we all need is God (Allah) –
the One who guides and can teach us lessons,
the One who hears our calls and understands,
the One always near – in every season –

Allah, as a Friend, never judges us
by the way we look and how we appear.
Allah, as a Guide, if we ask Him for
guidance, He guides us and makes our paths clear.

Allah is with us – each day and each night –
He is always there when all are asleep.
Allah always listens when others don’t.
He gives you comfort when He sees you weep.

Fortunate are those who have Allah as
a Friend. Friendship with God is friendship true.
May Allah bless me with His Friendship and
May Allah’s Friendship be shared with you too.


Miriam / Mariam Mababaya

Details | Light Poetry | |

SIlly old bag

I’m a brown paper bag and I’ve not been too well
So I went to the doctors to ask him to tell
What was this sickness and what I had got
Could it be cured, was it deadly or not
So he took out his needle, I lifted my vest
He drew off some blood for some sort of test
The results came back quickly, the doctor looked glum
He said it was fatal and passed by my mum
I told him my mum was as fit as a flea
So how could she pass this disease on to me
He said it’s conclusive, no error, no way
She’s a carrier, your mum, I’m sorry to say

Details | Light Poetry | |

Are you a man

Lovey-dovey, honey puff! You're a hero, if your wife Thinks of these words When they say Of her husband And you're not gay.

Details | Rhyme | |

Frog Prince

There once was a dog
who kissed a frog
the frog became a prince
and hasnt been seen since

meanwhile, inside a castle
the king thought it such hassle
he'd no idea why the princess
was in so much distress

she said 'i want to find
a man that loves my mind'
and she ran to the pond
to wash her hair, blonde

as she sat on a log
she saw a green frog
'are you lonely too?'
the frog nodded as if  he knew

she gave the frog a kiss
and what happened was such bliss
her heart was beating faster
and they lived happily ever after

Details | Rhyme | |

Zippelly, Zappely Zale

Diddely, dappened doo –
birdies, black and blue!
Hiddely, happily hare,
gorilla’s, gophers glare!

Frappelly, frippin foo,
larks, and leopards loo.
Giddily, gaddelly, goo –
grasshoppers, gnat’s gnu’s!

Trippaley, trickelly tee –
birdies, bears and bees.
Biddilly, bradilly, boo –
shrimps, sharks and shrews!

Zippelly, zappely zale –
walrus, wrens and whales!
Jittery, jatterly joon –
ladybugs, lions, loons!

Woodelly, wadelly, wee –
a monkey, and ape in tree!
Gecko and goat in game –
all animals aren’t the same!

Details | I do not know? | |

Something for the weekend

We’re preparing the house for invasion
They’ll be here pretty soon, there’s no doubt
The valuable things, have been tucked away
Some items, sans worth, we’ve left out

There are locks on all of the cupboards
The breakable pieces are hidden
To stop those inquisitive hands
Some rooms, will now be, forbidden

With toddlers about to arrive
For a weekend of laughter and frolics
If these grand parents hope to survive
They will need to become alcoholics 

But we sit and drink tea in the parlour
It passes the time while we’re waiting
Tea helps to quell, the nerves that you feel
When you’re infanticipating

Details | Rhyme | |

Razor Strop

I have in my possession an object I really prize.
It belonged to two guys whom I really idolize.
'Twas a necessary device when straight razors were the fad.
'Tis the leather razor strop used by my Grandpa and Dad.

Its precise genesis is really difficult to gauge,
But it's certainly well over a century old in age.
It shows the scars as they went to all the trouble,
To hone their razors to rid their mugs of stubble!

I can picture them as young swains shaving before the mirror,
With a steady hand trying not to nick an ear.
With a brush and soap to apply lather to their face,
Later to meet their sweeties decked out in ribbons and lace!

Now I never thought of a razor strop in relation to education,
But Mom found a novel use for it much to my mortification.
When I became rowdy and tended not to mind,
That cold, hard strop was generously applied to my behind!

I will pass the old strop along to a subsequent generation,
With vivid tales of Mom's expertise in its application!
This only to add to family knowledge and lore,
But to use on tender behinds never, never more!

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Details | Limerick | |

Elaine's Limerick


Let me tell you of my sister-in-law Elaine
Whose breasts drive most males insane
With her size double D’s 
They bring men to their knees
Her name’s in the breast hall of fame  

She says being big busted like me
Is not all it’s cracked up to be
She says in frustration
Try and hold a conversation
When there’s only two things a guy sees

But although she is much well endowed
Of her breasts she is so very proud
She tailors them cute 
In their double D suits
To make them stand out in a crowd

Her breasts they are not a disgrace
Even though they won’t stay in one place
They wiggle they wobble 
And sometimes they gobble
And unsaddled they fall to her waist

Recalling her lactating years
Monstrous they brought her to tears
Like torpedoes they fell
To her lap they did swell
Her son cried, “Mom I can't nurse from down here!”

When her milk came she thought she’d implode
Then like volcanoes they both would explode
She’d bind them real tight
They put up quite a fight
Till she cried, “No more can I carry this load”

At the lake when she jumps off the boat
A life vest she’s no need to tote
For she bobs up and down
Impossible to drown
Like buoys they keep her afloat

To enlarge them women pay a big fee
To, say a thirty-six C, D or E
But hers are quite natural
She can use them as collateral
And they didn’t even cost her a penny

She has memories of breasts standing high
Neither one was the least bit shy
But gravity has taken its tow
For they now sit quite low
But with underwire she can make them look spry

They're so big that to some they look wrong
But she can bounce them to the beat of a song
They're no longer high and round
They're like two sagging mounds
Because she's now a size Double D long

Details | Shape | |

' Scents ... (or Tea - Baby) '

S                                      S
          I So, Love  The  Scent,  of A Fresh, Cup Of  Tea
         Like,  I  Love The Smell, of  A  Fresh-Bathed Baby
         Both,  Are So Very Delicate, Soothing &        Sweet
         Both,  Are  A Unique, Fragile-Moment       Complete
         And  With  Rose  Petals  and  Soft  Lavender Scents
         And Apple-Blossoms, Honey and Fresh Peppermint
          All  Come In Lotions Or Talc-Powder  For Baby
           And In My Teacup, These Aromas Are Tasty
            I So Love The Scent of Steeped-Leaf Tea
               And A Fresh -Bathed, Gurgling Baby
                Come, Sip A Cup  of Tea With Me
                   While I Hold & Sniff The Baby

Details | Free verse | |

Murphy's Law

Today’s’ another day unlike yesterday I am told.
But each one is unique in the troubles that it holds.
To solve all my problems I call on all those good old Patron Saints.
The Catholic Church has Patron Saints I can pray to for everything.

As I get up each morning I pray to St. Martha the protector of housewives.
I need St. Christopher while going to the door, to safely find my way.
Then St. Camilla is handy if I trip and fall getting there, needing aide.
And when I write my poems its St. Cecelia to whom for words I pray.
As my children leave for school its St. Pancras to get them there and home safe.
And when they give me a headache I ask St. Dennis to make it go away.
I pray to St Ambrose as my learned children bring report cards home from school.
And as my children’s music gets loud its St. Cecelia I beg to change it into 
something good.
When in trouble my kids like St. Gerard since they were falsely accused.
And with any time out, I send St. Hippolytus to guard their prison room.
Each month as I pay the rent it’s to St. Margaret I look… so as not to be homeless 
And when I face my crazy neighbor… its St. Eustace to calm me down, it’s true.
When the dogs misbehave… I ask St. Roch to stop them just once more.
And when I’ve had a bad day its St Dymphna I ask… why I shouldn’t run away.

I’m not Catholic but I like to hedge my bets you see…
I wouldn’t need any of these saints if just one wasn’t my best friend…  truly.
St. Murphy from Murphy’s Law sits upon my shoulder each and every day.
He keeps telling me not to worry… if it can go wrong it will go wrong any way.
He’s my Patron Saint who loves me intensely… most of all!
And I can see why the Catholic Church won’t claim him… no… not at all.


Details | Free verse | |

Leader of The Pack

Wake up sleepy head is all that’s left to say. Get up I say!
But of course it didn’t help… This was sleeping at it’s best!
The bus was due for school soon, and still in bed he slept.
So out came my hidden weapons, that are better than water splashed.
I crept quietly up beside him… and here is what I said…

If you don’t get up I’ll release our monstrous, fearless, great cat.
He’ll jump and walk all over you… before sitting on your head.
Then I’ll bring in our loud 66 lb lab to lick you everywhere to death.
Then I’ll bring in our 86lb lab that’ll jump up to join you there, instead.
Don’t be surprised if he stretches out taking up most of the bed.
He’s really good at pushing with those really good, strong legs so…
It won’t be long before there’s nowhere left but on the floor to sleep.
And now let me introduce our 55lb forceful, herding cattle dog.
If he can’t get you up and going… believe me it can’t be done...
He’ll nip at you gracefully while never leaving a single bite.
He’s hungry and wants breakfast leftovers before it turns twilight.
And me I’ve reset the alarm. There’s no more music left to play.
Every five minutes the buzzer will be there just for you, I say.

Now I’m going away and you’ll notice the smells of bacon, toast, and eggs.
And if the dogs are in the kitchen first… it’s cold cereal for you this day.
And once they get a taste for leaving you far behind…
You will have forfeited your place at the table I know they’ll think you kind.
And when the animals are gone from your bed…
Who will protect you while you sleep?
Remember there’s an 8000 lb dinosaur living in the living room, that I keep…
And I know for a fact that he’ll come in and drool all over you…
He’s the problem we all run from…we walk around him every day. 
And I named him Mr. Report Card… for all the damage he can play.
Without him there’ll be no Xbox, Play Station, or fancy fishing trips.
So get up my sleepy young man… The world is waiting for you today.

These are my secret weapons and they work every time…
We haven’t missed the bus you see… in a very, very long time. 

Details | Quatrain | |

I'll Make Him A Nerd Yet

Oh dear, I just realized what I could do,
with the Hungry Caterpillar plushy, 
enveloped by paper, for my cute new
nephew. He’ll learn to spell his name by three.

Details | Dramatic monologue | |


....simply beautiful... it is of beauty to simply write such love letters of poetry, letters joining hands within a sky of words setting a background, upon the "Sea", setting sail.. within a wordsong, as playing winds, just swirl around beautifully of air, that blows a kiss to an angeled choir to sing in perfect key, life, the spice, the scented beauty of a rose in full bloom, the scented beauty of a heart beat, beating in time, with rhyme being so kind hearted and true blue of the deep.

Details | Narrative | |

' Knock - Knock Jokes ... ( Quirky, Yes )

Aahhhh, The Quirky/Idiosyncrasies of MoonBee

Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
     Icky …
Icky Who ?
… Never Mind, I’ll Come Back Later …

Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
    Juan …
Juan Who ?
I Don’t Know, What Do You Have In Mind ?

Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
    Hula …
Hula Who ?
Yes, When I Was Young …

Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
   Toodle …
Toodle Who ?
  … Ok

Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
   Bye-Bye …
Bye-Bye Who ?
Look Lucy, We Found Ricky !

Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
      Nu …
Nu Who ?
Well, If You Know Who, Why You Ask ?

Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
     Woo …
Woo Who ?
… Ok, Who’s In Trouble ?

(The Obvious-Obvious, One)

Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
     Who …
Who Who ?
Late Night, Huh ?

Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
    Yu …
Not Me !
Yeah … Yu !

Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
    Yu ! …
You Who ?!
… Hi …

Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
     Yu !
Naaaaa, Naaaaa Interested !

Knock, Knock …
Who’s There ?
    Boo …
Boo Who ?
Wait, I’m Not A Bill Collector !

                               Knock, Knock …
                      Who… who oo ‘s  There ?
                                  Sue …
                           Su suu sue, Who ?
            (but then Door Opens, With A Crash
               Double-Barrel, Points Out, Blasts
     The Knocker Runs Fast, as Voice Shouts Out Rash
“ … Sue That ! and Don’t Come Back Talking ‘bout Whiplash”
          And The Man Sits Back Down, To Finish His Glass

                                 - - - - - - - - - - - -

              Oh, Darn, I’m Out Of Egg-Nog and Jack D
               Now, How Can I Make My Moonlight-Tea
             Well, It’s Back To The Market, For MoonBee
                                       He He He ! …

                            Have A Great Day, Y’all …


Details | Couplet | |

Little Children

Oh, what a joy little children are ! Juice in the video, sick in the car. Untidy bedroom, scattered toys, girls playing nurses with little boys. Dogs' tails being pulled, a cat's on fire, interrupting the moments of love and desire. Passing the blame for their little crimes, playing with frogs all covered in slime. Screaming their heads off in a plush restaurant, having a tantrum when refused what they want. Arriving home late covered in mud, not going to bed when they know they should. Non-stop talking while dad's watching telly, splashing the walls with ice-cream and jelly. Chocolate stains on their Sunday best, painting funny pictures on granddad's vest. Why do parents' voices echo from afar, Oh, what a joy little children are !

Details | Rhyme | |


My old hometown has a restaurant where,
the older men gather with stories to share.
Many are fabled and some “almost” true.
At times I’ve been known to stretch one or two.

Some craft their words like a lawyer on trial.
But the best are delivered in “good-ole-boy” style.
Some doosies, whoppers, and outlandish claims.
Trick is go just so far some doubt remains.

How big was that fish? How tough was that shot?
How fast were you going last ticket you got?
How hard did you have it? How bad could it be?
There’s always one better, just wait and you'll see.

With memories embellished, a sight to behold.
Legends are born from stories they’ve told.
They’ll say what they think if you give one a try.
There’s plenty of coffee. It helps if you buy.

I’ve saved up a few that I can't wait to tell,
from that old corner booth I remember so well.
So, if you’re ever in town, come by and we’ll stop
by the “Liar’s Bench” over at Joe’s Coffee Shop.

Dedicated to my grandpa, Lamar Gardner, and the Ellettsville, IN Village Inn where 
he used to hang out. Every small town has one, go hang out there for awhile, you 
might find a story or two.

Details | Rhyme | |

A Letter To Miss Sandman

Can't sleep.
 can't eat.
  write words.
     until I fall

Details | Alliteration | |


I was born in Babylon
Everyday I want to be alone
I prayed not to get low
Everyday Babylon claim more soul
I just have to go, seek for more show
I grow with no shoes under my foots
Ganger is my food, 
Mosquitoes sing the reggae allover my room 
Webs block my views, killing my crews
What can I do to survive when am buzz

Where is that place to get crazy?
That place you cannot erase,
That camp with more space,
Where you don’t have to get late
That place where you just want to be free from
“Babylon” Babylon” Babylon…I want to be free

If there is a question, it should be about relation
My action will generate your reaction
Is substitution the way to be free from Babylon?
The game is always ON, grow horns like Capricorn
Cut the vegetables; let’s be able to be stable

Details | Couplet | |

The First Snow Fell {The First Noel}

The first snow fell all angelic and white
We built us a fort full of snowballs to fight

The mailman rounded the corner much to his surprise
Two big fat snowballs dotted both of his eyes

The policeman was summoned all dressed up in blue
We got scared and decided we should just snowball him too

His face was beat red as he filed his report
Stomping all our snowballs and tearing down our fort

Then he led us back home had us each by the ear
Where up on the porch sat uncle Joe with a beer

The policeman told Uncle Joe he would lock us away
Uncle Joe stepped off the porch and made night of his day

Now here we sit in juvy and uncle Joe he is in jail
I reckon I’ll write Santa ask if he can post our bail

Or maybe send his reindeer to crash right through the roof
So we could fly up out of here, upon the golden hoof

If another snow falls all angelic and white
I’ll build me a snowman but l won't snowball fight

I can't seem to bring the contest up so I hope
I did this right. This carol is done to the beat 
of "The First Noel"

Details | Rhyme | |



So sorry…..
I can’t spend the night--
Would give my daddy jitter fright.
My mother would not sleep at all,
If I don’t kill bugs as they crawl.

If I ‘m not there to scrub the sink,
Neither one would sleep a wink.
I can’t spend the night---
Nightmares will chase them left to right.
If I don’t stay with mom and dad,
Who’ll keep my dog from getting sad?

I can’t spend the night.
I would like to,
But isn’t right.
Must tuck my daddy safe in bed,
Listen to the prayers he’s said.
Kiss my mother on her face--
So she knows I’m in my place.

I would love to stay with you,
But my parents need me too!

Details | Free verse | |

Moulting - for you

the next is like the first
equally shedding more skin
you do that again and again 
and I known each time 
you look at me 
we are transformed

and so we take each step
each page is torn away
a day, a week, a month
eternity in our eyes

this time with you 
like a wave that never breaks
a swell in the heart of the ocean

where the two race, play, swim

we are
the ones we see

in the next moment the sun rolls by
you lighten up the room
again a mirror 

to the little pools of mystery 
spilling out around you
giving up the secret

moulting in the broad day light

Details | Blank verse | |

Old Gentleman Jack

Old Gentleman named jack
My Poetry on PoetrySoup

I’ve gotten so drunk/
I did not even know how to act/
After drinking a fifth and two twelve packs/
All of my inhibitions Just sunk like/ an old elephants’ trunk.
Though any thoughts to care just fell or collapsed/

I've gotten so drunk /but not all was forgot!/
So, cheers to that Old Gentleman whose name is Daniels Jack?

Poem By: TMP.My Poetry on PoetrySoup

Details | Classicism | |

I got haters

i realky hate my life and all the fake people in it                                                                                                 People are hella fake just a bunch of haters trying to see the drama they can create thats exactly why i wana get out of this state because im surrounded a bunch fakes who hate                                                       
People always got to talk down just like cowards they do it when im not around.No matter what I do someone always has something to say and me and my buisness people talk about every single day thats what makes me wanna just get away Cowards and fakes are what they are I shine like a star why there over there hating and wont make it far.

Details | Free verse | |

A Difference

We can make a difference

We can wallow in the feat
Where all souls meet
At the foot of the world by which to greet
In bitter silence to its door chime ring,

One can easily take heart or to what would sing;

From shadows glook of its tormented swoon
It would be at the addage of its peril
A safe place to emancipate,
The soul was erected by pious chimes;

In tombs tortured with flagrant rhymes/ Through a misfortune illumined amidst/ Shattered glass stained by bias accalades/ We can make a difference/ Fresh out of our store bought routine/ Out of curtains unleashed to swallow/ The world is filled with ghosts & demons/ Shaped by the imaginative solace screaming/ We can make a difference/ The trunk on the trees on which all branches grow/ The pen on the ink to make messages flow/We can make a difference/ With parts uncertain yet attainable/ Create/ The notion of a bridge of hope/ It's gap loosens for passengers to cross/ Reason must be supplimented by our creative imaginative & faith/ Reason is itself an act of faith!

Totals 28 lines/ 182 Word Count

Details | Free verse | |

Childhood Fears

It lived in the toy box
It lived under the bed
It lived in the closet 
And under the shed

It lived in the basement
All musty and dark
It lived in the hallway
It lived in the park

It lived under the bushes 
That grew by the fence
It lived in the woods
Where the trees were so dense

It lived in the attic
Where old trunks were kept
It was stealth and quite sneaky
It attacked when I slept

Dad would come to my rescue
When I was afraid
He would check out the closets
He would close all the shades

He would leave on a night light
Outside of my room
He swept under the bed
With mom’s old battered broom

He would hug me and tell me
I was big and so brave
Then he’d yell at the boogie
And make it behave

So tonight I was called
To my little ones room
I smile as I walk in
To defeat boogies that loom

Details | Couplet | |

Ring Around The Collar

<                                    ring around the collar

                   now don't it just wan na make ya ~ scream and holler

                                      whether day or night

                                      it can be an Erie sight

                        you stand there and ~ scrub ~ scrub ~ scrub

                     even sometimes bent over  i n  that  ~ tub ~ tub ~ tub 

                       water and soap dripping up and down your arms

                         dog and cat fighting trying to cause you harm

                                  yelling and screaming at the kids

                                   wondering now what they did

                               you kicking the lid shut on the commode

                              saying ah crap this stuff's getting too dam old











Details | Ballad | |

When I was growing UP!

When I was growing up I WAS a ninja turtle
When I was growing up my cry could make blood curdle

When I was growing up I loved race cars
When I was growing up I believed in Star Wars

When I was growing up I played with toys
When I was growing up I kicked it with the boys

When I was growing up girls had cuddies
When I was growing up my fights were beauties 

When I was growing up I made a big mess
When I was growing up I cheated on my tests

When I was growing up parents were mean
When I was growing up I was never very clean

When I was growing up I did crazy things
When I was growing up I wanted wings

When I was growing up I colored in the lines
When I was growing up I destroyed the blinds

When I grew up I realized it was fun
Now I apologize for what I have done!  

Details | Rhyme | |


Six wonderful people very bright and young 
shared a cramped apartment...
is that because they couldn't afford the rent,
or they loved to have fun?

What a hilarious circus, if they had teamed up!
They got angry, but still apologized and made up;
they seemed to have many problems,
some more complex than the others.

Rachael was very pretty and cool,
Phoebe was so naive and not too witty,
Lisa was refined and very beautiful,
Joey was a womanizer extremely funny,
Chandler was the sarcastic guy who loved sensual Monica,
and Ross was the nice dude who was embarrassed by Erotica.   

These talented actors have entertained us
for long years fascinating us with their charms;
they were a close family rather than good friends who struggled...
they must have felt deep sadness when the final episode was aired.   

Written by Andrew crisci
for Michael Falotico's contest,
" Ryhme Me An Old TV Show "
Chosen show: Friends

Details | Rhyme | |

Family Tree

Our Family Tree extends from deep roots and long branches.
Some of our kinsmen grow fast Fruit Trees just in case the
Harvest becomes romantic.
Others imitate Olive Trees as they Stand for the Emblem of Peace
And youngsters try to Extinguish Bushfires for some of their
Mistakes can’t cease.
Some of our Willows weep as a Pine Tree in the Land; silent 
Dripping Tears.
The Scornful have become Forsaken like an Emptiness in the Palm 
Of your hand.
A majority of us found shade underneath the Yellow Birch Tree
And when we decided to depart the Peaches reaped a Golden Jubilee.
Our Forefathers have become successful being planted in a good
And solid ground.
So the next time you want to look up my Ancestors just head for
The nearest Forest right here in Town..

Details | Rhyme | |

The Missing Pizzas

The pizza delivery truck
Crashed into the bay
Along with delivery guy
Three pizzas one stuffed crust did flay

Five full grown sharks and one baby
Upon the beach did lie
Soaking up the sun with round bellies
And nap  flipping flies

While the news broadcast the tale
About the missing pizzas.......
And that poor pizza delivery guy..
That news reporter a real diva

She could not see the scene
Beneath the blue bay
Where tiny fish still ate the crumbs
Left by the sharks at play

The feeding frenzy still goes on
under the blue water
The driver swam to shore death spared 
Now kissed by an otter

Details | I do not know? | |

On the Raod to Carolina

“On the Road to Carolina”   

By Miriam McCue - creator of poetry.

dedicated to Bubba, my grandson who is not allowed to do what is in this poem. And Bob 
who maybe did.

Warning: do not practice the activities below, unless you are a professional in the field.

This is meant to be sung accompanied by acoustic guitar music.

Verse 1 
We’re on the road to Carolina,
Me & Bubba, my best friend.

We’re going to stop in Savanna.
To pick up ole toothless Glenn.

Verse 2
We’re ridin’ in my ole pickup,
The three of us have no fear.

‘Cause toothless Glenn of Savanah,
Brought along six cases of beer.

Verse 3
When it gets on towards evenin’,
We park the old pick up.

We’re all sittin’ on the tailgate,
Drinkin’ all the cases up.

(whoops and whoopies )

Verse 4
When we get to Carolina,
Our heads feel all blown about.

Glen is barfin’ out the winder,
And Bubba has completely passed out.


NOTE:   TO be more politically correct: I am the designated driver.

Details | Acrostic | |

The Talk

The Talk


"The Talk:",
 He hesitated, 
 Interested in
 During different, developmental 
(Assurances are always awkward;
 Nothing new.)
 Dad dodged    
"The Talk" 'til I turned twenty two.
 He honestly
 Bewilderment by
 Even though everybody knows, each infant grows in a secret station
 So its strong enough for the long aviation of being taken, by delivery stork, to it's home.

(This poem was written specifically for Carol Brown's "The Birds and the Bees" poetry

Details | Dramatic Verse | |


Lynn, the tom-boy of Herald Square, couldn't be compared to Princess
Diana, or a similar one for finesse to perfectly fit in a royal scene; 
that ordinary gal had a foolish wish of a non-blue-blooded Queen,
who rarely smiled, or said, " Thank you. " when they offered her a rose.
Her dad knew people in high places that loved green,
and he wanted her to look good to get more praise 
and attention by squandering lots of money 
on a wedding, not worth the social status and the stupidity;
to the wedding ceremony no royalty came only family and friends...
you would have had the impression that Queen Elisabeth 
would have walked into the hall and congratulate her!
Eh, wasn't that a foolish wish of a non-blue blooded Queen?
Folks, don't nod in disapproval, the story gets better as it should;
the guests waited outside Saint Patrick's the Cathedral expecting a limousine...
not quite so! The royal coach pulled by two gray horses stopped at the curb,
the bride zoomed out dragging along the broom, not allowing him to greet anyone;
someone shouted, " Pretty boy, what's her rush? Why is she so jealous? He stared
at that upset gal and muttered, " Sorry " while his left ear was being pinched hard. 
Bear with me a little bit longer, the best is yet to come, enjoy this comedy!
" Idiot! Idiot! Don't embarrass me!" Gino whispered...
" I shouldn't embarrass you in front of Miss Universe? "
" I will marry you...for worse, not for better! " Lynn vowed with madness,
and barging in, she forgot to pick up her wedding dress and tripped 
and fell on her butt sliding down the isle while onlookers were filled with incredibility...
then she ran out stepping on Cardinal Cooke's foot who was returning from a wake!
The wedding was called off, and Gino was reproved by his mom for his mistake.
After reading my drama, who would have a foolish wish of a non-blue-blooded Queen?
Making drastic changes by acting on foolishness, doesn't make one look so keen. 

Details | Limerick | |

A Drunken Tale

Over lips and through da gums
Hooked minno is going down some
Depth by depth there she sinks
Hooked a dam dogfish oh how that stinks
Pulled anchor and now drowning in rum

Tribute To Fishing
Also Entry For
Carolyn Devonshire's
Sea Tale Limericks
GL All

Details | Rhyme | |


" The oven is set on three hundred and fifty degrees;
the box of the Pillsbury Yellow cake is still unopened, for George's sake,
the kids are in the living room munching on cheese,
who's going to make the perfect batter for Ricky's birthday cake? "

" If no one volunteers, turn off your iPods and put them away
and come to the kitchen to give a hand...isn't it somebody's birthday? 
It would be nice to see one use the mixer, the other greasing the pan...
how many of your friends have you invited? I hope not more than ten! "

And giggling they exchange words, thinking I don't hear their whispering; 
I was a teen once and know how they think, but today they won't be laughing!
Hurry, bake the yellow cake...we have only two hours left, they'll be coming soon!
" Mary set the table, everything must look fantastic! No, don't lick the spoon!  

The door suddenly opens...twenty five teens come into view and say, " Surprise! "
Hundred of small balloons are released from their hands...their thrill rises.
" Good Heavens! Who are these kids with faces painted like circus clowns? "
Have you asked them to attend this party? Where are the real guests? "

Silence filled the aroma-filled kitchen as they looked downward with embarrassment,
" Are they here to crush your birthday party, Ricky...if they are they will get
a taste of my dough roller right now! " No, mom...they want to throw my birthday cake into my face! " " Have they told you so? Wait here, Ricky...I'll think of a trick."

" Hi, cuties...are you ready to have a cake fight? " Yeah, " was their answer.
" Let's do you want to hear a big mommy's laughter when your eyes will burn? " 
The smallest one in the group yelled, " The birthday cake had better taste good
or your red face will turn yellow! " " Little rascal, you'll churn like butter! "

In a second the whole house became a battleground... they hurled cupcakes,
cookies and candies, but they had forgotten about the cake in the oven.
Smoke came out of their ears and noses... mom laughed when they ran
outside as if they had seen a real ghost, " Run for your lives before my dog attacks! "  

Details | I do not know? | |

Professional Divorcé

Lost in emotions
Two souls approaching new path
Bitterness adorned

Forgetting love, possibly they shared.
Reasoning on the fights, they had bared.
Manly disfiguring blow.
So possible you know.
Now departing, both no longer  paired.

Marriages four, divorced three times now in this life of mine.

If another comes my way, next lover shall be a glass of wine..

Sponsor (Destroyer ((Poet 
Contest Name ~DIVORCE CLUB~ 

Details | Free verse | |

It's Christmas again

Dear Family who never call,
Its Christmas again,
And needless to say I dislike you all,
But despite all my loathing.
For your stupid fat faces,

I’ve wrote you a poem,
All full of airs and graces,
Oh it’s Christmas, so, I'll blow my nose,
The poems all festive, so here it goes:
If you ask me it’s all a farce,
You can blow your Christmas out your arse,
All the greedy-robot-shoppers, drooling and grasping, makes me sad,
Wide-eyed-bloated-screaming-brats, all clawing and grasping mad,
Filling their shopping bags with the latest things they saw on the telly
Cramming their trollies with vast amounts of food for the belly,
Yes if you ask me It fills me with fear,
You can ram your Christmas in your wax filled ear,
All the mindless-nine-to-five-morons consume and consume and tell me I’m their brother,
All dressed up to the nines swarming our towns they kiss and hug and sing to each other,
Prancing, posturing and drinking to much booze with their haircuts and shoes
I’d like to take to the streets with a shotgun; I’ve got nothing to lose,
Yes if you ask me It makes me cry,
You can poke your Christmas in Santa’s eye!
All the pretty pretentious families gather around fake smiles and wrapped gifts,
They eat lots of cake with their glistening eyes,
But it isn’t long before their mood shifts,
Soon they’ll be drunk and at each other’s throats 

Saying “I luv you so much, I luv you” “No, no I really really love you” what a charade, what a joke.
Yes if you ask me, at Christmas I will point and laugh and shake my head,
It’s an empty hollow sham, based on a make believe religion, tatty, garish, cheap and all the true festivity is dead

Details | Rhyme | |

It's Friday

<                                         Is It Friday Yet ?
                                            Yea ~ You Bet

                                            Just Got Paid
                                            Now Want To Get Laid

                                            7 ~ 3
                                            Good Golly

                                            Boss On  Ass
                                            Like Sharpel Of Glass

                                            Phones Ringing Off Wall
                                            Everybody And Their Mother Calls

                                            Fix This Fix That
                                            Phone I just Want To Splat

                                            Tic Tock Tic Tock
                                            Goes Slow On Dam  Clock 

                                           Thursday  -  Monday
                                           All I want To Say

                                            Is It Friday Yet
                                            And No I Can't Afford A Dreamy Jet

                                            So As The Saying Goes
                                            I'll Just Keep Crossing My Fingers And Toes

Entry For
Joe Flach's
In Other Words Contest

My Inspiration 
Is It Friday Yet ?  LOL
G.L. All

Details | Lyric | |

We three shepherds of gifts in modern time

We three kids, Just stayin up late
Were warm and full from all the junk food we ate
In Snuggies we lay, fighting off our sleep
Thinkin of the mornin our gifts in a heap
Nodding off, Nodding off, Nodding off, Nodding off
hopin winter wont make us sneeze and cough

This song is sung to the tune of, "The First Noel"
this is for Deborah Guzzi's Holiday songs in Poem Form Contest

Details | Prose Poetry | |

A Childs Concept

There was a little girl 
barely more than three.
She went for a ride
to the country one Sunday
with her family.

She laughed and laughed
with glee
at all the animals
that she could see.

Then she spotted
something that before
She had not seen.

Now from the back seat
came the cry

There in the field was 
a tractor and a wagon.
Her mother told her what 
it was and all fell quiet.

Being that it was about nap time
and she was quiet for so long
they thought her asleep.

a cry rang out 
from the back seat.

aaahh !!!  A Twagon !

Details | Senryu | |

Best Driver

best driver his claim went to sleep singing_voice rang as he crossed the center line
I am glad that I was there to awake him and also that we were not meeting any cars or 18 wheelers....

Details | Rhyme | |


My shoe must feel privileged
My shoe must feel great
My shoe must feel happy that i'm taking him on a date
He better be a gentleman and hold the door 
He better be a gentleman and keep my feet warm 
if he try's anything on the first date ill return him to the store before its to late!

Details | Free verse | |

Hot Oil In China

We have hot oil in China,
  Rising slowly from the ground
  There is a deep dense fog hovering round

The air is smokey, so dense it seems green
  The sun so hot it's making everyone lean
  Curfews so early all think it's obscene

And the hot oil keeps rising, if you know what I mean
  Hot oil keeps rising, it doesn't go down
  It's been well over a month since it covered the ground

Machinery moves carelessly all through the night
  I bothers us so much we boarded up the windows tight
  I bought ear plugs but I gave them to my brother Mike

Bells keep bleeping on and off go the lights
  So another pair of ear plugs I bought
  School won't let me wear them, saying I'll rot

So I decided to grow my hair long 
  Hide my ear plugs under it all day long

But when I go home at night 
  And I cover up really tight
  And I pray because theres nothing else we can do
  Oh hear me Lord, don't let my mother find the ear plugs in my shoe

Details | Haiku | |

Slippery Floor Oo

Drip… Drip… Drip… Don’t let the water drip on the floor or you will Slip… Slip… Slip… Drip… Strip… Drip… Don’t let the water run or someone will Trip… Trip… Trip…

Details | Rhyme | |

Remember Remember

Grab your jacket, scarf and gloves and wrap up nice and warm.
Hope the weather holds its peace and doesn't bring a storm.
Grab your cats and call your dogs and get them all inside.
If you care for the little tykes then this rule you must abide.

Fill your buckets up with water, get them at the ready.
Do not fill them to the brim so you can hold them steady.
Get the first aid kit supplies on stand by just in case.
I've heard the tales of injuries and burns around the face.

Start with something simple, "someone go get me a light".
A sparkler in all our hands, now watch them sparkle bright.
Get the kids all gathered round as older guys prepare.
See the kids all waiting and their eyes wide as they stare.

Hammer up the Catherine Wheel and nail it to the fence.
"Do not ruin the paint work, let us do it" said the gents.
Stick the tubes into the grass and deep into the ground.
Careful not to poke that pile left there by the hound.

Be prepared, all is ready and it's going to get loud.
Parents buying mass displays to make their children proud.
Roman candles, some sky lanterns, whistlers and rockets.
Rebel kids around the streets with bangers in their pockets.

Stand well back and light the fuse and watch the tension grow.
Let's fill the sky with sound and light and put on a great show.
They all erupt and whistle off higher than a kite.
Wheels spin, and bangers blow as the rockets take their flight.

Explosive pops and electric fizzles at an amazing height.
Every colour fills the sky, it's such beautiful sight.
All around the sounds of bangs suddenly all stop.
No wait, there's always one or two to give a random "pop".

Now the sky is clear apart from massive clouds of smoke.
It's worth it for the kids, but all that money, what a joke!
But a smiling kid is priceless, so try not to be tight.
'Remember the 5th of November'...

and have a Happy Guy Fawkes night!!!

Details | Rhyme | |

Almost a Hutain

I don't really try to fit in
not that it often matters
but when people are next of kin
and glare like I'm the mad-hatter
it makes my thoughts all scatter.
Then not knowing what to say,
(“No explosions, dear Lord”, I pray)
I go and empty my bladder.

Details | Couplet | |


How blessed I am that you are in my life
Not a day goes by when I do not think of you
You make everything alright
To you I do not have to prove myself
For you know me
I love you

How blessed I am that you are in my life
How honoured I am to be a part of yours
Memories made and shared
With you the one I love
My friend, my lover, my queen
'Til the end

Details | Free verse | |


Anguish taunts through a barbed wire fence with edged grasp

Actions in which human beings rebel against a holy God
Miss their purpose for their lives
Surrender to the prince of the power of the air more then God
Cause  all of their deeds were evil!

An eclipse of the sun had tainted my inner vision
Push back the pain with radiant guide
Does this notion in thought come at any big surprise?

Weak willed tyrants from the flood of dispinsation
Shattered fragments loosed in gloom climatic abrasion
Parts unknown from the setting of the sun

Leading gullible women captive under the false cloak of compromise
Abortion on demand
When will they ever understand?

Blood shed in our streets
Evil tyrants from elected officials overly prideful taunt & pull!
We each our responsible for our actions before a holy God

Details | Bio | |

No Vacation For Me

I can't seem to take a vacation
No matter how hard I try
Boys joining the army
Girls hormones on the fly

Ford needs a tranny
Chevy needs a clutch
Mustang needs a starter
Grand Prix needs a water pump...not much

My Dodge, my baby
Now the kids use every day
I'ts keeping me here
I wanna go play

After 40 years of
Living a hectic life
In need a break f from being a mom
Being an ex-wife LOL

I guess maybe when I'm 50
I can get away
From all the things now
That are making me stay

Details | Quatrain | |

Black-eyed Peas and Hog Jowl

Black-eyed peas and hog jowl
That's what my grandma said.
Ham or bacon, but never foul.
And don't forget cornbread.

People up North may eat sauerkraut.
But in the South we eat collard greens.
The young and old, without a doubt
Know what this lucky meal means.

The more beans you eat
The more luck and good cheer,
A 365 bean gastric-atomic feat…
Tooting beans we all welcome the year.

Each in the family fully stuffing his face,
The well wishes soon squeak their way out.
Some of us eat at a very fast pace.
Then, “Happy New Year and Good Luck!” we all shout.

© January 5, 2011
Dane Smith-Johnsen

Written for the Poetry Soup Member Contest:  Good Luck Meal 
Sponsored by Russell Sivey

Details | Haiku | |

Holiday Company

In-laws have pulled up Honey, out-laws are here Hide key to liquor

Details | ABC | |

Family Commandments

Family Commandments

Thou shall not pull thy sisters hair. Thou you shall chew thy food.
Thou shall not stay out until Midnight. Thou shall be in a better mood.
Though shall not answer me back. Thou you shall brush thy hair.
Though shall not wear that in public. Thou you shall behave in here.
Thou shall not give me cheek and run as fast as thou art.
Though shall not rush thy homework. Though you shall begin from the start..
Thou shall not scream at every opportunity no mater  if thy lungs be strong.
Thou shall not dance in tantrum. Thou you shall stay home where you belong.
Thou shall not eat me out of house and home. Though you shall get a job.
Thou shall not sit round like a bum. Thou you shall turn into a slob.
Thou shall not fight with your sister. Thou you shall give her a cuddle.
Though you shall not bunk away from school. Or Thou shall be in a muddle.
Thou shall not make noise while soaps are on, if you know what's good for thy ears.
Thou shall not blame your brother, Thou you shall see his tears.
Thou shall not ever worry, Thou I am here for you.
Thou shall not ever be sad. Thou you shall be happy It's true.
Thou shall not ever fret, even though we shall have our fears.
Thou shall never be alone. Thou you shall know we care.
Thou shall always have a life, Though u shall be happy and care.
Thou shall not have a problem alone. Thou you will know we are near.
Thou shall not take for granted, That shall be full of pride.
Though shall never wish for more, with thou family by thou side

By Shirley Moody

Details | Free verse | |

Rock Candy Whiskey

Aged and mellowed, golden whiskey in a wide mouth Mason jar.
Poured over sweet rock candy, was the guaranteed cure,
of ticklish throats; sprained ankles; hair loss; hang nails and more.
Always kept on hand, for times of desperate need,
of which Grandpa had a profound proclivity for.
No glass nor tablespoon was needed to dispense this elixir.
Just twist the ring, pop the lid, up end the jar and let it slide 
down your parched throat..ummm, I mean,  soar throat.
I remember well, my first bout with laryngitis at the age of seven.
Grandpa hurried off, to get the magical jar of homemade "Cure".
Minutes later, he came in, carrying the jar like a precious jewel.
Pouring some of that honey hued nectar into a large serving spoon.
Tasting it first, making sure it hadn't gone bad, of course.
Then he slipped the spoon edge between my lips.
Boy-howdy, my eyes watered, I coughed for a spell.  
Then slept like a baby.

Entry for:  The Road To Well Ville
Hostess:  Deborah Guzzi
Placement: 6th

Details | Rhyme | |


He was a shabby, mean, mouthy and nasty boy
chasing after cats dragging along his buddy Mccoy;
and they both were slim and handsome but laughed a lot
when they ate corned beef and cabbage from a large pot.

" Keith, don't forget to feed the cats,
I've bought another bag from the supermarket,
and please don't eat their food...they aren't biscuits! "
" Okay, mom I'll feed them and won't forget. "

Everyone in the neighborhood considered them evil,
Irene, the red-headed gal, called them hoodlums;
the elderly locked their doors saying, " Go to hell! "
The town had become an armory of brooms. 

Their aunt Agata used to say, " They were such nice boys in their teens,
now they hunt cats uphill and cage them as tigers and feed them frogs and weeds;   
" Enough, enough scoundrels...I'll hit you with my long broom from left to right
even when you tie the knot in that church with a beautiful, naive bride! "

" Uh, uh!" The cat hunters replied with a defiant, boorish frown,
" Try to chase us,'ll never catch us, we dare you to race! "
" Stop, pretty are going to get Frankenstein's ugly face! "
They replied, " Go ahead! Go ahead! He was too big to run! "

All the kids that disliked them placed bananas peels all over the road leading to Kill,
and as they tried to flee from aunt Agata, they fell on them and went downhill....
hitting their faces on pine needles that poked deep and made them bleed;
" I got you, rascals," she happily screamed..." Now, say your sorry creed! "    

Details | I do not know? | |

A Sand Box Experiment

Little Jenny was always found to be very prim and proper/
Outside reading her cook book by Betty Crocker/
Lazy Mary Sat on the lazy suzanne,
Butch Malone was their next of kin kissing cousin,
Along with Mary this made up the famed dirty dozen !
That sand box experiment really made us laugh/
Shortly after gym class,

Butch Malone along with the famed Benjamin Bankhead/
Jimmy Foley the local guitar player knew,
The pathway in life that we should choose/
Often he would be found taking a tremendous dump in the boy's urenil !

The path of least resistance sought about from a chosen few,

Often he would appear in shepherds clothing similar to little boy blue !

Playing guitar like he's going out of style !
That sandbox experience was designed to distract all the teacher's ?
We set up stuffed dummies just to look like real people,
Right underneath the bleacher's !

Old man Winter's who worked for Mr. Kazoo knew the score/
Very often he was being seen outside the local liqour store,
Lest I emplore,

The sand box experiment was in full swing on that one particuler day/

Butch Malone thought he was the real king ?
That was until Mrs. Maloney saw him through the window !
Next the time was drawing near/
Then so was that dinner bell,

Mrs. Maloney started talking to all those dummies,

Next thing you know she had tripped over little Johnny !
He was stuffed that was/
Flying three feet high in the air she had fell right on her face !
What a social disgrace !

Yet what had happened to Butch Malone ?
Like a little dog without his bone/
He pee pee'd his pants then cried all the way home !
The next day when Mrs. Maloney got her second wind/

She didn't even know where to begin/

For that little stunt the whole class was suspended for the day,
Yet for the gang including Butch Malone what did they say ?
All in all the sandbox experiment really did make their day !

Details | Free verse | |

Mama's Eyes

Remember when you were a kid
and you wish you'd gone and hid?
Mom gave you that look
from the corner of her eye 
that said
you'd been caught in a lie.
With just one look
that's all it took
and you begin to cry.
With the narrowing of her eyes
that filled you with dread
making you wish that you were dead.
Then the look straigght down the nose 
as her head rose
told you
in the story you're telling
you'd gone too far
and thought it 
just a little bizarre.
How about when you were about to do wrong.
Something you know your not to do
With her head down
she'd look up at you
and her eyes would say.
I wouldn't do that if I were you..
Then there's that look
when you've done it anyway
and your're on the run
for it did say.
Now your're all done
and by the seat of your pants you'll pay.
The look I love most is the one
that came at the end of the day.
When she tucks you in bed
and kisses your head
her look would always say.
I love you child.
Not just for today
but always.

OOPS I forgot the eyes in the back of her head.

Details | Free verse | |

Is It Good To Be The King

Honey carry this

Dad the toilet is overflowing

Can you move the sofa there instead

Does this smell bad

Just three more stores Honey

You can build that easy

Sorry about the truck Daddy

Dad can you fix this

Honey I think it's time we repainted

Oh did you already finish Dad, I would have helped you

We didn't know you wanted to eat

Honey take out the garbage

Oh just put it in Dad's garage

And best of all it goes together in 4000 easy steps

Sorry about the report card

Honey turn that down

Damn you stink go take a shower

Will you start my car its cold out

I think it's time we repainted, don't you Honey

Dad I need to be picked-up at...Don't Forget

Honey I like the room better the other way

Tell Dad there's groceries in the car

I told my parents you'd build them an addition...Here

I think the septic tank is full...Honey

Did we clean those gutters

I thought we'd move the garden over there

Dad can I use your credit card

By we, I mean you Honey

I know it's the color I picked, but it's not the color I want...repaint it

Is It Good To Be The King?

I love you Daddy

Thanks Honey

Cool thanks Pop

I love you too Dad

Your the best Daddy

Yeah, It's Good

Details | Prose | |

Snake Charmer

He hunted snakes, raided nests of snake babies, tied strings to their tails,
took them to school. Tucked inside his desk, baby snakes escaped,
slithered down, made their way across the schoolhouse floor and down
through a hole in the floor.

At recess, my brother could be found, crawling under the schoolhouse,
hunting for his snakes. Crazy brother, playing with snakes, chasing us
girls to hear us scream, hiding snakes in hollow stumps, securing their
prison with a board, weighted down with a rock. 

Many years later, ironing his shirt in our basement family room, a yell,
“It’s a snake!” He’s taking the stairs, in doubles, to put distance between
himself and the snake, who had crawled in through the fireplace vent. It
was a harmless garden snake. We had the last laugh.

Details | Rhyme | |

4 Beautiful Baby Boys

Four beautiful baby boys
I'm always telling them to pick up their toys
for they leave such a mess
I really do wish they would leave me less

We take walks outside
and always enjoy the stroller ride
we love each others company
and the beautiful scenery

They love playing their video game
if I try to play they just say mom your lame
I may not be the cool one like dad
but I think I'm kind of rad

Four beautiful baby boys
they all make such wonderful noise
wrestling and fighting over toys
screaming and laughing what's not to enjoy

Now it's time to snuggle into bed
after all the story books have been read
kisses and hugs and sweet nothings said
till their fast asleep with their pillows on the bed.

* This poem is to my 4 beautiful baby boys( Austin,Jordan,Brandon,Gary) mommy loves you so

Details | Rhyme | |

GO Saints!

Your team catches the ball, runs the ball, and sometimes get a touchdown.
This team of black and gold brought the joy and pride back to their hometown.

You make us proud to call you our own.
Your team spirit you've realy shown.

I stand in the crowd as they scream so proud.
Go Saints!
Fans faces are covered in gold and black face paints.

You beat the enemy.
So far you' ve won all three.

I can't wait for your next game!
You'll put the other team to shame.

If you ask us how we feel about our team we have no complaints.
All we have to say is GOOOOOOOOOO Saints!

Details | I do not know? | |

Graduation Day

Her eyes dancing with excitement
The joy cannot be contained
Today is graduation day
My sanity regained!

Her red gown pressed so neatly
Cap perfectly on her head
Tears are coming to my eyes
No matter what I said!

Call her name, Come on let’s go!
Across that stage so brave
One hand open, One hand up
Tell me she’s not going to wave!

The crowd goes wild for my little girl
She blows kisses to us all
Hands are waving in the air 
Please look out for the wall!

As she disappears from my sight
Her big debut’s been made
I can’t believe it’s finally over
Here we come 1st grade!

Details | I do not know? | |


You think you might be in love.

You think he/her might be in love with you.

You think about a lot of things. Do you really know those things?

You think a lot, you worry a lot. 

But do you really HAVE to think or worry about those things?
  Or do you WAN'T to think or worry about those things?

Now that there is something to think about.


              *please leave a comment if you like it or fav poem if you might*

Details | Rhyme | |

Energy Burst

I woke up this morning
and it was nice and sunny,
I then said this to my honey,
"I have got it into my head,
I'm going to paint the fence and shed!"
Four hours later both were painted,
I went to tell Gill,
but she had fainted!

Details | I do not know? | |

After The Vacation And Dirty Clothes

The Mother Ship has brought me in
I must now clear the den
Of all the dirties from the trip
I have, I have to get a grip

Packing up and arriving home
Has left me somewhat alone
Everyone has disappeared to separate space
Now I have to have the grace

Not complain but do the work
Of coming home to the same old stuff
Grind of everyday has its way
Of sucking the life right away

Details | Senryu | |

---nine torn kimonos

nine torn kimonos
man sits staring out window---
bare arsed slacker

*a stitch in time saves 9

Details | Limerick | |

The Birds and the Bees

Anyone from LA to New York
knows babies are not brought by the stork.
It takes nine months gestation
for a new generation.
Didn’t you learn that in school you dork?

Robert Pettit for Royal Trevino's The Birds and the Bees contest

Details | Free verse | |

The Guardian of the Morning Light

The Guardian of the Morning Light,
Creeps out of his little space warm and soft.
No one will waste that precious morning light.
Our little fur ball will see to that.
Oh ye of little sleep… 
Give up the covers or ye will weep.
The door becomes his drums, 
To announce the morning rays of the sun.
He wakes the dogs up to whine and pace, 
Eventually they will lick our face.
The window curtains will begin to part till they…
Shower our faces and eyes with light… not soft.
Then the bed begins to shake…
As everyone begins the climb to our face.
But the secret weapons are about to come in.
The kitty has awoken the little children.
Cold feet assail us as they climb in place.
The dreams of a cuddle are now replaced…
But tomorrow will be another day
If I could only find a place to keep him at bay.
ZZZ’s are the treasure of days gone by…
But the future is richer with all these guys.

Now, if only, the Guardian of Light will be polite
And give us one more minute of sleepy respite…

Details | Free verse | |




Details | Free verse | |

Epistle to a Retired Husband

A list of rules upon your retirement
because I have my interests and activities;
no, we are not getting rid of my car,
I cherish my freedom to move.
I suggest you find your own pastimes,
you'd look pretty silly in red hat.
Oh, by the way, don't follow me shopping
in baseball cap, jeans and white socks.
Grocery planning is my domain
so don't hold forth on where to shop.
I'm out to bunco and Friends of the Library,
meetings held in the evening.
I knit with companions, again early evening,
don't call the shop to see if I'm there.
Remember we said that we'd travel?
There you go!  Get to the travel agency.
Paris, Rome, London, I'm up for those.
I want to eat out whenever I wish,
no more big meals on weekends.
You get the picture? I'm retired, too!
When does the plane leave?  I'm ready!

Details | Verse | |


Joanna Davis

Bulging bags, a half eaten bun
Scribbled postcards penned on the run
Victoria station, just two stops away
From the end of another short holiday
Summers over, time to return 
To cooking and cleaning, the list goes on and on
Souvenirs a plenty; a mug of the queen
Galleries and gardens, no sight left unseen
Last hugs and kisses, watering eyes
No time for tears, or long goodbyes
Days we’ll long remember, You and I
Funny how quickly, the time’s flown by
I’ll write you; I promise, a letter each day
Until it’s your turn to come over, and stay

Details | Couplet | |


Chocolate brown, with smoldering bronze eyes.
 A faithful companion, and a dog in disguise.

Half chocolate lab, and half red pit bull.
 Calm as can be when we're having a staring duel.

The only dog I know, who falls asleep standing up.
 She's been this way ever since she was a new born pup.

She'll sit in your lap like she weighs a mere five pounds.
 Believe me, its just as funny to picture as it sounds.

We treat her like a part of the family, and not at all like a dog.
 She's overweight, so good luck getting her to go for that healthy jog.

I wouldn't trade her for all the money in the world!
 She'll always be my precious angel, my baby girl.

*Note* Truffles are my FAVORITE candy and we got our puppy right before Valentines day, so
being as she's half "chocolate" lab, eh why not name her "Truffles", so yes I know we are
strange, LOL!!!!

Details | Verse | |

Vow out

“One of the biggest kicks a person can have is a feeling of righteous indignation.”
     ~ Alan Watts, in a recorded talk titled “Reality, Art, and Illusion” (1965)
If gay folks can marry, is marriage worth less?
Your love and attachment worth nothing, of course
Or maybe those just don’t exist – let’s confess
You’d rather they cheapen the cost of divorce.

If gay folks can marry, does that mean God failed?
Deny they came out swinging as you despise – 
Makes sense to assert that God would’ve prevailed
Had man skipped the paperwork that sanctifies.

If gay folks can marry, say who is worse off?
The billions of us, dear, engaging in sex?
Our billions more children won’t have room to scoff
Or private space left to repeat such prospects.

If gay folks can marry, so what’s it to you?
The sanction of hedonists’ day in the sun
That you’d rather darken when this is what’s true:
You’re jealous to miss out on all of the fun.
    ~ Thanks Always Returns

Details | Rhyme | |


I laid it down beside me
just an hour ago.
It seems I must have lost it,
or dropped it on the floor.

Why does it seem so hard
to keep it in my grasp?
I never seem to find it, where
I thought I used it last.

Now, where was it on Tuesday?
I NEVER seem to know!
The thought of it just comes to me
right when I want it most.

I needed it last weekend
but my daughter came too late.
I wanted her to see it
when my grandson came to play.

My friend around the corner
always has hers when
the time comes she must use it. 
I think she must have ten!

The pastor’s wife found hers one day,
just in the nick of time.
She always has it with her now.
“O’ Lord, where’d I put mine?”

I’ve looked inside the breadbox
and underneath my bed.
It wasn’t in the basement, now
My face is turning RED!!

“O’ Lord, I’m tired and flustered,
back where I’ve been before.
I’ve lost MY PATIENCE once again.
Oh Please, just give me more”!

Details | Bio | |

Cave Man

                    '" CAVE'"    =(:-)'s>>>
We weren't married
  By a Pastor at Church
In-stead we were married
       In a Cave
Yes, we took our vowel's
     By me dragging
Her by her hair
   Dragging her home
           To the Cave
Like a Slave
The same Cave that we
          Bared our Cave Children
    The same Cave
The one with-out the Den
He promised to build a bigger house
But, he has been saying that....
            Since I don't know when...
But, the Cave Woman
      She loved her kitchen's nitch
That is where she cook the game
She would you want it salt?
           Or plain....
Fore it took so much to cook a meal
It depend on what Cave Man father could
Either kill or steal...
He left this morning
To get him a snack
It was either a giant turtle
Or a brontosaurs
But dinner would attack'
Today, the equivalent of an BIG MAC.
But, never the least
The Big Mac did attack'
He knew with-out stake sauce
Or butter, that He would never
Get back
There is no telling how Cave Mother might...
 Act....or react!
Who ever knew how long it would take
If I could catch him
Would he taste just like stake...
Or a Slim Jim..    
We lowered it home
Took him to the house'
Either it would be him
Or would have to settle
For Mouse.
We lowered it home'
And took him last evening'
We saved the mouse...
We lowered it home
And took him in-to the house
We ate him last evening
We saved the mouse....
That Cave Woman did what
She could, fore she had four
Cave Children....
Their chances' of starving were
Good....God willing.....
That is a fact of life that was
Really understood..
She started a fire
With a stick and a rock
She put then together
The fire was hot
That brontoburgar surely
Hit the spot...
They ate what they could
And saved the rest for later
They had no refrigerator
So, they gave the rest to
The family who sat at the table
Who would eat it much later

************SEE CAVE MAN 11********
                        To be continued...

Details | Light Poetry | |

You Are Next


Wedding coat finery
covering my wretched dismay.
After pinching cheeks
aunties would always say,

“You are next!”
as if saying made it so.
Countless times it happened
no matter how often I said no.

Until I discovered how to stop it
using this little ironic gem;
now when I see them at family funerals
I started saying it to them!

Details | Quatrain | |

Memory of Bread

Whenever I smell warm loaves of bread
The mouth-watering smell gets me thinkin'
Of my childhood at my grandparents' house
And kneading bread dough in the kitchen.

When I bite into bread, fresh from the oven
The present is soon chased away,
For I'm back baking bread with my Lola
Though I can't bake my own bread today.

Details | Rhyme | |

Perpetual Blather

They fell in love and married when she was about the age of twenty.
He knew she liked to talk since she'd already bent his ears aplenty!
She could babble at twenty miles per hour with gusts up to forty!
His mother warned him, "Son, this woman will surely damage your corti!"

Even when in a romantic mood and with her he'd like to coddle,
She would rant and carry on with her incessant twaddle!
She'd prattle at forty miles per hour with cyclonic gusts of seventy-eight!
Only when she'd begin to snore would her unceasing blather abate!

They attended their college reunion and he was embarrassed to death!
She dominated each and every conversation and didn't take a breath!
She gabbled at thirty miles per hour with occasional gusts to fifty!
He hesitated to tell her so but as an auctioneer she'd be mighty nifty!

At her family reunions it sounded as if they were speaking in tongues,
Like the rabble at The Tower of Babel, bellowing at the top of their lungs!
Babbling on and on seemed to be an inherent family trait!
They'd chatter at fifty miles per hour with gusts exceeding ninety-eight!

When his spouse said the grace she'd chat with the Lord ad infinitum,
Asking Him to bless the food and all God's children beginning with Adam!
When she left for Beulah Land, on her stone he had this message etched:
"I could never get a word in any-wise and that ain't too farfetched!"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

A little homework assignment - if you don't know what the word "corti' means,
look it up in your handy-dandy Funk 'n Wagnalls!

Details | Rhyme | |

Bad Boy Napper Betty Biddle

I was told when I was little
Of Bad Boy Napper, Betty Biddle
Betty Biddle bad boy napped
Even made a bad boy trap

She filled it up with dirty shoes
Grease and grime and gooey ooze
Betty knew bad boys can't wait
To jump right in to bad boy bait

Betty sat smiling in her swing
Waiting for her trap to spring

Betty Biddle stole bad boys
If they wouldn't share their toys
Off they went to the Land of Share
And she fed them to a Selfish Bear

For those who didn't clean their room
She took them off on a Sweeping Broom
Into the land of Do It Later
She fed them to a Procrastigator

Those who sassed their mom and dad
Were hauled off to the Land of Bad
She sliced and diced them in a vat
And fed them to the Talk Back Bat

Bad boys who skipped from school
End up in the Land of Fool
Drowning in the Dummy Pool
Eaten by the Stupid Ghoul

She stole bad boys from every town
Strung them up and tied them down
Took them to the Land of Gone
Forever buried in her lawn

Bad Boy Napping Betty Biddle
Stole bad boys when they were little
But I never knew that Betty Biddle
Cause I was an angel when I was little

Details | Light Poetry | |


Mothers seem to get all the press
Dads seem to be forgotten
I know some of them are not much good
But I still think that’s a bit rotten.

Mothers can be bad as well
It won’t come as a surprise,
But remember if it wasn’t for your dad,
You wouldn’t be here to criticise.

Dads are good and they work hard
The money to bring in
Some bring up the children nowadays
As mums go to work and pitch in.

My dad is gone a long time now
 I still miss his advice on living
He was a pain sometimes as well
But I can still forgive him.

He would love the new technology
The mobile phones and laptops
His Sinclair computer was magical then
He’s never heard of I pods.

Children rule the world today
And I really don’t think that’s good.
Look at all the mess they make
And I really don’t think they should.

 A child today cannot be wrong
“Its parents faults” it’s that old song.
“It’s the way you bought them up
You shouldn’t be in that neighbourhood.”

But the child that rules this country place,
Could do with a good slap in the face.
His name gives clue it's Cameron
Because it rhymes with A moron.

Dads are great, and equal, they just don’t wear the dress
Let’s give all the dad’s out there, a much better press.
Dads should have equality in these new modern times
But we girls know what dads really want
We can read between the lines!!

Details | Dramatic Verse | |

Ain't Dreamin' of a Daddy

I'd like to do so much
With you
But that's
A hell of a lot
To ask of
A drinking man
Father-Daughter Dance
I'm from the South
And I ain't ahamed 
To say I ain't dreamin'
Of a Daddy
I got all I need
I got my Mommy
She's just as good 
And better
She's a fighter
We can live
Without you

Details | ABC | |

Hellow, Hallow-E'en

It’s almost midnight
On All Hallow’s Eve
And I’m here to seduce,
Entrance and deceive

Tonight I come calling,
a nightmarish creature –
You’ll cling to the stories
You’ve been told by your preachers

Who tell you that ghouls
Are all in the mind,
But watch out for my presence
Amongst man-unkind

Creeping and crawling,
I live for this night –
I’m a monster most hideous,
My first name is Fright

I’m the truth of your nightmares,
The terror is sheer
And scaring you senseless
Fills me with cheer
I’m the presence 
Who inhabits your dreams
I’m alive in your deep,
Darkest screams

I exist to appall you,
Immerse you in fear
And my day of wakening
Is now, it’s right here

This one night in autumn
I visit from hell
Where I have been watching you,
I know you quite well

I’ve waited so patiently
For this Halloween
So I can show you my real face,
Gaunt, slimy, green

When you first lay your eyes
On the terrible me,
You’ll know I’m black evil,
But won’t believe what you see
Shapeless and hopeless,
I do not exist
In the time-space continuum
In which you persist

I’m other-dimensional,
Invisible, huge
My lips aren’t quite white,
My cheeks smeared with rouge

My hair’s writhing reptiles,
My nails twisted and curled
My breath stinks of Hades –
I’m so not of your world

I slither through shadows,
I suck the life from your dreams
I slurp up your terror
And munch on your screams

You can shutter your windows
Padlock each door
You still won’t be safe –
I’ll rise up through your floor

At midnight, I’ll seize you
And drag you away –
You’ll never see the light
Of All Hallow’s Day

Details | Free verse | |


Chilled Pinot Grigio and Chianti
on each side of the long table,
twenty seats for twenty guests;
Antipasto with zesty dressing...
colorful vegetables with chunks
of sharp provolone and hard salami...
to be served with crunchy bread,
the kind that grandmother used to bake.

Oh, wait the Creamy Alfredo with chicken and spinach
is steaming on a huge serving plate...what a work of art!
Oh, the aroma of the Parmesan cheese
fills the nostrils with the urge to start;
one by one, the well-dressed guests walk
into the dining room...who said they are guests?

It's family: grandpa, grandma, uncles, aunts and cousins!
we'll surely enjoy this Sunday dinner as last week.
What about dessert? Sweet pastries and chocolate Tiramisu
with a strong cup of espresso and a shot of Sanbuca Romana;
would you like to join us and meet the friendly chef Mario? 
There's plenty of food for everyone...Buon Appetito!

Details | I do not know? | |

True Norwegian

My mother always told me that I
looked just like my dad.
A true Norwegian was I, all of his
features I had.

I guess I really had no right 
to complain,
except all through school all the kids 
made fun of my last name.

Don't get me wrong, I always liked
my blond hair and green eyes.
I just wish we Vikings were known
for smaller thighs.

My dad always told me that with my
heritage I was stuck.
And that all of the women in our family never
had to worry about having a small butt.

I said to him, “Those are two things that
I never chose.
But I think the thing that bothers me most,
is this dang Norwegian nose.

I even had a friend that once made up 
a song about mine.
He sang it to the tune of a John Lennon song,
and he made each and every word rhyme.

All of my children always thank me for 
giving them knock knees.
But I always tell them they can thank their grandpa, 
not me, for these. .

I guess I really shouldn’t complain . My dad
lived to be 93.
And I guess that’s one of the parts of him that
I hope will be passed down to me.


Details | Verse | |

Face To Face

Joanna Davis

So many things to do today
My goodness I’ve no time to play
The washing, ironing, then the tea
tomorrow I’ll have more time for me!
Just let me get the shopping done,
can’t stop now…I’m on the run
So many things to hide behind
If there’s nothing to do~
Something I’ll find
I’ll dig myself in so deep
even my min’s no time to sleep
I can’t slow down or stop you see
or I might come face to face with me!

Details | Light Poetry | |

The Annual Family (dys)Function

I burned the crescent rolls,
and then her tears flowed...
We knew they were inevitable,
she was definitely on overload.

Too many people in the house,
and way too much commotion...
“You brought a dish not on the menu?”
Turned her tears into an ocean.

“I’ll just scrape the burned part off,”
evoked another muffled sob...
“My dinner's ruined and nobody cares
I’m just too old for this job.”

“Think I’ll have a glass of wine,
Care to join me sis?”
Think we’re going to need it
To survive this Thanksgiving bliss!”

“I’m never doing this again
I just cannot take the stress…
Hosting a family gathering
Causes me nothing but duress!”

A year since then has passed
My telephone starts to ring
“Coming home for Thanksgiving dear?”
“Of course, what should I bring?”

Details | Rhyme | |

Simple Toys?..Not Anymore

Just as a boy grows into teenager 
he is bound to one day grow into man 
I think it's when he is just five years old 
He becomes a demolition fan 

At that juncture it's all about the tools 
To dismantle what works perfectly well 
They may be begin plastic at the start 
But it triggers something in their cells 

A teenager will start with something small 
A lawnmower, dirt bike, then on to cars 
Then as he ages and gain life experience 
The quest for tools is written in the stars 

It starts with a simple set of wrenches 
Then moves on to socket sets and ratchet 
Not just ASE, they need metric as well 
A tool store is a veritable banquet 

Metal worker, wood crafter, mechanic 
Plumber a welder and electrician 
Wrapped up in a testosterone package 
Needing a new tool for the next mission 

Watch as his eye light, when reaching for a tool 
That's new to the market sitting on display 
It's no longer about simple fun in an old cardboard box 
It will be tools from now till his dying day 

Details | Couplet | |

Ode To the Buffoons

I believe it's the inner child in me
that lives through my kids vicariously.

When they settle down for a cartoon
I eagerly anticipate the lead buffoon.

From Patrick to Dee Dee to Cosmo the fairy
the ensuing silliness makes me quite merry.

So, here's to all the sweet, colorful twits
that send me off to joyful, endless laughing fits.

Details | Free verse | |

Hobble Hubby

My hubby let the dogs out and sprained his ankle on the step.
Then for days he hobbled around on that foot, stubborn yet.
Definitely not getting better I got him a crutch at the store.
For twelve hours it sat there not doing much, after being procured.
But then he picked it up with grumbles, of that you can be sure.
Now it’s become fun to make up stories to keep his friends adrift.
Would you believe he stepped into an interdimensional rift?
Or how about I got mad and kicked him in the shins, ouch!
Or the dogs bit his leg as he took my sons homework from their mouth.
It must have been a great paper or tasted like meat sauce.
Or it happened in the basement while he was wrestling with the Trolls.
Perhaps he followed a group of Lemmings to a place he shouldn’t go.

Yes, he’s my hobble hubby and I love him oh so much.
With his imagination life is never dull as my heart he does touch.
And occasionally he balances on one foot and tells coworkers…
He’s practicing his Karate Kid flamingo move or such…
And he’s warned me he’d be safer if he could only find reverse.
Yep, he’s on his way to recovery with just the right amount of smiles.
Heaven help us as he continues to entertain us with his wiles.
Believe me, his imagination will bloom as time continues on.
Now if you’ll excuse me…I have to go catch up…for like he says… 
He hobbles like the wind and it’s really hard to keep up.


Details | Haiku | |

Fussy Baby

Baby cries, Dad sleeps soundly Selective hearing? Do you think?
In honor of Dr. Ram Mehta's "Quinzaine" contest

Details | Verse | |

He always

He always leaves a coffee ring that makes me so sad because it reminds me I've trained him so bad.
He always leaves the seat up that makes me so sad I have really trained this guy so bad.
But I have trained this guy well in one places lets just say, AS we our always running out of the little blue pill anyway.

Details | Light Poetry | |











Details | I do not know? | |






Details | Limerick | |

My Morning Confession

Ok, I guess I'll confess! 
My hair is REALLY a mess! 
I just drove them to school
and they said ''Mom, that's not cool''.
But today I could really care less! 

''Today is my only day off.
Just let your friends snicker and scoff.
Does it matter to you
if I wear slippers or shoes? 
Is your image of me that far off''? 

When she looked at my head in the car
her jaw dropped and she said ''Oh my stars! ''
''What is that on your head? 
Is it living or dead? ''
I'm so glad we don't have to drive far! ''

Well, I may not be looking my best
but, what I saw I would never have guessed! 
In the back of my hair
was what made the kids stare.......
cause it looked like a fluffy birds nest! 

Oh, ''Who cares if my hair looks absurd? ''
''It's the new style.....or haven't you heard? 
You should feel slightly blessed 
that I even got dressed........
and I made a new home for a bird! '' 

Details | Classicism | |

what is family

Blood doesn't always make you family to me its loyalty and respect if I need you right beside me is where you'll be To me blood is not a big deal,To me it matters whos real and whos around when im up or when i fallen to the ground thats how i feel for me always ready to chill and for me will kill the people who always been there before and are here still

Details | Rhyme | |


To me thanksgiving signifies this
Togetherness of family and those you miss
Stuffing, ham, pies and everything
Sit down and gnaw on a turkey’s wing
The one day a year it’s ok to be a glutton
Make some more room by popping a button
A day to celebrate a feast of food
Dine with the in-laws, try not to be rude
A day to eat and have a little fun
Then lay on the lawn and soak up some sun
Pecan, apple and minced meat pie
Better than fireworks on the fourth of July
Ham, turkey, lamb and some other meats
Grab a fork and knife and get in your seats
But on this part the most important part
Remember the needy, keep them in your heart

Details | Light Poetry | |

Quit Flapping And Flipping Those Lips {Footle}

her lips
just flips

Tribute To 
My Sister Who Just Cannot 
Stop Flipping That Lip  LOL

Details | Rhyme | |

Caleb is a Noisy Boy

Caleb is a noisy boy
With a lot of noisy toys
Like cars that "vroom", "boop" and "crash"
And video games that "boom", "fwoop" and "splash"
He's got air planes that "swoosh" and "swish"
Even has bath toys that bubble like fish
He had a balloon that would soar and whistle
Until it went "pop!" upon a thistle
He bounces his balls up and down the hall
And throws his darts against the wall
He even likes the chatter of checker pieces
And the games he plays with all my nieces
And my nephew, making muscle dolls wrestle
I mean "action figures", they snap like pretzels
And he's not too old to enjoy V-tech
Because he can add his own sound effects
Hissing like snakes, buzzing like dirt dobbers
Now he does war games, cops and robbers
He shoots cap guns "pow", "pow", "pow" in rhythm
We see the enemy and he says, "Let's get 'em!"
Yes I play too, but not as much as he wants
I give out more easily, his energy haunts
Just when I think he's tuckered out like a church mouse
He's screaming and jumping on me in the house
From 6 a.m. until late at night around 9
I love his noises because Caleb is mine

Details | Limerick | |

Four Limericks

There once was a girl named Ana,
Who loved to eat ice cream and banana,
THen her treat did disappear,
And Ana shed some tears,
Everyone felt bad for Ana Banana,

There once was a boy named Peter,
Who was known as the school's best cheater,
One day he was caught,
And detention he got,
Everyone felt bad for Peter the Cheater.

There once was a boy named Michael,
Who had a new motorcycle,
He went on a ride,
And fell off the side,
Everyone felt bad for Michael.

There once was a girl named Fina,
WHo dreamed she was a ballerina,
She would gracefully twirl,
Until she could hurl,
Everyone felt bad for Fina.

Details | Lyric | |

the medicine man

mom, there are women
seeing dad in his office
to make me worry
that he might leave us someday
‘cause he comes home late
almost every other day
why you hardly check his joy?! 

Details | Rhyme | |

Eve's Lament

Eve blew the hair from out of her eyes 
“He thinks nothing matters except size!”
“All he does is loll in the shade
It would be so nice to move to the glade!”

Eve picked a small critter from her thigh
and said “God, why? Why give me this guy?
He’s lazy, and crazy and talks to the baboon!
And when night rolls around he thinks I will swoon!”

“Adam, the man, the boss, yeah right,
You could have handled that snake but it gave you a fright?”
Don’t blame me, you’re the man, the one with the b*lls
So, why blame tiny me for the trials of us all?”

I was gifted to you. I’m your precious jewel
“Adam dear Adam….please invent me some tools!
I tired of seeing your scraggily hair
and picking the critters out of our lair.

Build me a house, find me a stone
And if you don’t straighten up you’ll go home alone!

*dedicated to Adam’s Lament by Bob Hinshaw

Details | Free verse | |

The Inner Struggle

Some our very eager perplexed swept within

Underneathe the belly of the beast
A needed flower to grow amidst the rise of yeast
Within sullen fragmented dreams & truth
One may even negate that inner truth for a lie?

That inner struggle within/

To remain attached to the vine sublime

We are more then qualified for its great design
To calm the nerves from within
We look to man yet find no hold
We look toward self thus grafted in again onto the rights are sold

We then read books based on logic & get trapped within

For some, 
It's inner struggle is what we all must seek to face
Within loose debris in decayed formation
Yet some its inner struggle is a way of escape?

Proned toward evident inhillation embraced with its surfaced Peyton Place;

The inner struggle from within
Fought back the heavy tears with a smile
Still to know all the great while
A hand to hold a loving kiss embraced

For this is the thought provoking struggle we enivatably all must face?

The inner struggle.

Details | Haiku | |

Adopted Swan

Lone swan on the lake
Surrounded by Mallard Ducks
Hatched by their mother

Details | Light Poetry | |

A Dragons tale

Connor the baby dragon went to see the queen
He knocked upon the palace door insisting he was seen

The courtiers and the equerries on seeing the little tyke
Told him to be off at once his kind they did not like

They ushered him outside the gates and told him, go away
Said that he should leave at once for here he could not stay

He begged of them, he pleaded, to let him take a look
The palace staff were adamant and said “now sling yer ‘ook”

Not one to give up easily he tried another tack
Walked around the corner and sneaked in round the back

He wandered through the corridors the Staterooms and the halls
Until he found the largest room where the Queen holds all her Balls

He gazed at all the splendour, mouth agape in awe
Till something made him jump, and guess what Connor saw

The person that he’d come to see was sitting at the table
The object of his visit, Her Majesty, Queen Mabel

“Your Majesty“, he mumbled “It’s you I’ve come to see”
Then remembering his manners dropped down on one knee

“Get up, dear boy” the Queen replied “come here and sit by me
Tell me why you’ve come here, sit down and have some tea”

Connor told her of his travels from his home so far away
Of how he was an orphan and how he’d like to stay

The Queen, touched by his story summoned each and everyone
And let the people know at once, exactly what she’d done

“This dragon” said the Queen “is going to be my mascot
He’ll accompany me tomorrow when I go to Royal Ascot”

From that day forth young Connor was at the good Queens side
When walking in the gardens or going for a ride

The pair were both inseparable and never would they part
Though just a lowly Dragon he had won the monarchs heart

Details | Senryu | |

In The Dog House

The Dog House
Caught, he lied to her;
His ebullient smile said all,
On the couch he sleeps.

Details | I do not know? | |

Happy Mother's Day

It is on this day that I must admire
Thinking back to the days when your “tough love” seemed to never tire
    And the thought of a shoe still sends chills up and down my spine
Oh wonderful woman, this mother of mine

With footwear in hand and compelling suggestions to see your way
It is not difficult to understand the knowledge of life that I have today
But to only remember the fear of these two 
One, the Good Lord Almighty and the other “the shoe” 

Remembering well all of the stories I told
Then fearfully watching your wrath unfold
The punishment of “the shoe” was well deserved
And how your abundant love was well reserved 

Remembering all of our “one-sided discussions”
Some resulting at the cost of a mild concussion
Dear mother, it is with confidence I can say
The love of my mother I would never change in any way

My mother dearest filled with love galore
It is the love you have for all I do adore
For it is the Fear of God and the Love of The Lord I remember most
And on this day it is my dearest mother I do boast     

Details | I do not know? | |

World we live in

Down the street there was a man killed today,
In this house a little boy ran away,
A funny world we live in?

In this alley a gang raped a young teen,
Down this walk way,people never heard the scream,
A funny world we live in?

Under this cardboard a Vietnam vet sleeps,
Down this road a crazed killer creeps,
A funny world we live in?

In this bed a child is born this day,
Do you want him to grow in a world this way?
Not a funny world we live in?

Details | Name | |


G- gingerbread man run as fast as you can
I-  if I ever see you again I'll cook you in my pan
N- next I will nibble all about 
G- getting you will be easy, with out a doubt
E- ever consider someone might eat your eyes out
R- red jelly eyes I wonder what flavor they are
B- buttons on your belly might be tart
R- run away from me now that eating may be an art
E- ever think about how it delicious candy clothing may be
A- average American snacking, just like me
D- down the hatch is what you'll be

M- morning, noon or supper for eating you up I'll be the man
A- after I eat you I'll wipe out the pan
N- now I am going to eat you, come here Gingerbread Man   

Details | Free verse | |

Friends c:

Theeeeere's a Monkey on my face and on my eyes and on my nose
a' there's a Monkey on my chest and on my clothes !
a' there's a Monkey huggin' me
and there's a Monkey up a tree
and Monkeys are my bestest friends, thought you should knows

Details | Quatrain | |


                                     THE WATERMELON THIEVES

Once when I was oh so young,
My mom decided she,
Would show us where some melons grew,
Beneath some large orange trees.

A farmer man she knew of,
Grew them there she said,
So folks would leave alone the fruit,
That grew above their head.

The melons were okay to take.
Just let the oranges be,
So off we went to pick some,
My mom, my sis and me.

I was only five years old,
So I sat in the car,
With Mama's friend who drove us there,
No light from moon or stars;

Because the orange trees blocked their light,
And I was sore afraid,
Because it was so dark in there,
Hidden in the glade.

Suddenly I saw my mom,
Running like the wind,
Right behind her came my sis,
A melon 'neath each limb.

Then in a flash my mom went down,
She tripped and broke her melons.
"Run Ruth, Run!" I heard her say,
They're runnin' and they're yellin'.

Mother! Wait! I heard Sis call,
For she had gone down too,
Stepped in a rotten one and fell,
They both were in a stew.

A flashlight beam then pierced the dark,
They made the car just barely;
And we took off just like a shot,
Took out the fence gate squarely.

We made it back home just past one.
They laughed until they cried.
I was so young I just sat there,
Agape with my eyes wide.

My mother had skinned both her shins,
My sister, she smelled funny,
Because that melon she stepped in,
Was rotten and real funky.

Some thought my mom as mothers go,
Not what you'd call high scoring,
But I can tell you life back home,
For sure was never boring.

                                                     Judy Ball


Details | Couplet | |

You Snooze You Lose

<                                                  You Snooze
                                                     You Lose

                                                     Lazy Head
                                                     Get Out Of Bed

                                                      No Bread
                                                      No Fead

                                                      Big Bob
                                                      Get A Job

                                                      Soap Queen
                                                      Loves To Dream

                                                      Got Dough
                                                      Hell  No !

                                                      Rather Sleep
                                                      Then Leap

                                                      Sweet Dreams
                                                      Wanna Scream

                                                      Gotta    Go  !
                                                      Work You Know 

                                                      See    Ya    Later
                                                            Alligator !




Details | Light Poetry | |

Grampa's Revenge


I see him sitting by the radio
Ears cupped to hear the score
Won’t wear his hearing aid,
Says he doesn’t need it any more
Grandma’s watching television
(Lawrence Welk is on tonight)
They argued every Sunday
But he never won this fight!
The Yankees were in the playoffs
Grandpa pleaded to no avail
He even tried to bribe her
But Grandma would always prevail
She loved the Champagne Lady
And all the bubbles shimmering down
And the lovely voice she had
And, of course, the beautiful gown
Then, Grandpa would turn the volume up
So the Umpire could be heard
And Grandma would start to shout
That she couldn’t hear a word!
They argued over everything
Yet in retrospect I can see
Their marriage was really fine
Grandma was inconsolable
For months after Grandpa died
She never left the house again
She just sat inside and cried
But I knew Grandpa had the last word
And things would never be the same
The day that I found Grandma
Watching the Yankee Game!

Copyright(c) Beatrice Boyle
(All rights reserved)

Details | Haiku | |


lunch philly cheesesteak sandwiches.. pungent onion scent

Details | I do not know? | |

Gone fishing

(This is a fictional poem)

Last weekend I went on a fishing trip with my brother.
Now we're both mad and we're not speaking to each other.
I accidentally hooked my brother in his ear.
I tore it off and he burst into tears.
Later he wore spiked golf shoes and put holes in my boat.
We were both wearing life jackets so we were able to float.
Later I caught fifteen fish and I sure was proud.
When my brother didn't catch anything, he started cussing and he got loud.
The next day he caught one fish and I caught ten.
He kicked my ___ and cussed me out again.
I've decided not to go fishing anymore.
If I want any fish, I'll buy them at the store.

Details | Light Poetry | |


Ev’ry morning, just past six,
And ev’ry afternoon,
Grandpa left the house to milk
The cow who leaped the moon.

Right beside the barn door he
Would stop and tip the pail,
Mealtime for the cat who played
The fiddle with her tail.

Tippy gazed with soulful eyes,
As farm dogs often will.
Her dinner dish replenished,
Pa’s load now lighter still.

Passing Grandma on the porch
The bucket caught her eye.
She queried, with a knowing grin,
“What happened…cow go dry?”

Details | Burlesque | |


Down the interracial, middle-class block
there's a kid who talks like a mature guy...
using words only a grown-up man does,
" It's awesome to be cool! Let's have a fist fight!"
One evening, he drank from a can 
he thought was a, it was beer!
ah, he started laughing and throwing rocks,
infurating the lady next door who let her dog loose....
Poor kid he was chased for blocks
by a vicious poodle and as small as the dog was 
he mauled the volley ball he carried.
" Get away from me, doggy! " he hollered
by kicking his his legs and calling for help.
News spread like fire and all the kids
came to see what was happening.
"Bring me my water gun, he told them...
I got to shoot him down before he bites me! " 
And glancing at the agitated poodle 
showing his sharp teeth, he pressed down
the trigger on his water gun saying, 
" I am a cop...freeze! You going to jail! "
There was no hesitation on the dog's part,
he ran as if chasing a cat who stole his bone. 

Details | Light Poetry | |


Dad was digging in the garden 
When he struck a custard well
Mum was none too happy
By her phizog you could tell

We watched the plume of custard
As it rose into the sky
Dad said “It’s bloomin’ lovely
We can have that with some pie

Mum was still unhappy
“This has ruined my best dress
You can both get out there later
And clear up this ruddy mess”

First thing in the morning
I went out, to see the hole
Scraped away the surface
And I filled a little bowl

Sitting on my haunches
In my jim jams and a vest
I took a cautious spoonful
And declared it was the best

Then later on, the press appeared
And in the garden mustered
As Dad explained how he had found
A well of perfect custard

A well known geolologist
Was hired to survey
He said our well, might just achieve
Ten thousand puds a day

So, Dad went out and bought himself 
A brand new custard pump
And put it in the shed that he
Was just about to dump

With lots and lots of effort
And a little bit of planning
We built ourselves a factory
And we started custard canning

Now mum is very happy, ‘cause
We’ve bought a house that’s bigger
Don’t know what she’ll say though
When she sees Dad’s bought a digger 

Details | Free verse | |


A hero is just that lost in the suace proned to devastation

A barrage of intense flames loosed in its politically incorrect agenda
Sought back the upheavel with a smile still to know all the great while
A chalice is just that in some absurd excursion plotted to the extreme
The inevitable remedy with hearts on the upswing

Through the complacency proned to decency
The upmost honesty to endeavor the braided swelt of heat
In an illusion prond to twilight fantasy in its eternity
The inner plight of justification & sensitivity
Gone our the days we used to frolic in a haze
Today we are all being stuck inside a maze
Shattered dreams in the notion of fright to sight
In scrambled eggs inside the equation
You base your logical theories on the basis of regret
All the hero's and legend we knew as a child have left
In random discourse,

We felt the sound of innocence in the right perspective
Shattered fragments in their devastation in dreams
A flight of fancy & brevity
The cause of charity
In its equated logical fashion We absorbed the extremitites
Many today suffer in silence amidst its blindness
With temples of gloom shattered fragments in their room


Details | I do not know? | |

A long line of scallywags

I love my son he's always chipper
he's my scallywag and I'm the skipper
and the apple does'nt fall far from the tree
he's menatly challenged just like me!

and even though his dad's a zero
"hey dad your my hero!"
having fun is all he's wishing
"hey dad ya wanna go fishin?"

lost the house a home we have not
"hey dad looky what I caught!"
no business financal ruin we sank
"aww dad you can have my piggy bank"

rich kids need toys to have fun
"love you dad!" "love you son!"
think no toys would make him sad?
such a good boy "your the best dad!"

now I know I won't always live forever
"hey dad we always be together?"
"no worries son just stay chipper
you'll have your own scallywag and you'll be the skipper!"

by Captain Mike Harris and his son

Details | Rhyme | |

Contest of Cleanliness

Passed down to me from my dear mother, this cleaning bug even bit my brother. I spent many hours doing house chores. The need to clean, we could not ignore. I always felt such satisfaction, my friends all thought a strange reaction, to suck up dust bunnies brought such joy. A brand new mop was better than a toy. When my brother and I felt the need to compete, we would clean out our closets, win went to most neat. And when I was a teen without a date, I scrubbed bathroom tiles 'til the hour got late. Dear fellow poets, I have a confession. For a certain bald man, I had quite an obsession. Many long nights, he and I danced, the hum of the vacuum, our song of romance. As I grew older, the neat freak contest ensued. The need to be cleanest, a relentless pursuit. The only person I competed with was me. Now, with a messy four-year-old, I have set myself free. This cleaning contest was only bringing me strife. No longer competing, I'm now living my life.
By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders, February 27, 2012 for the Contest contest ( Joe Flach) Seventh Place

Details | Free verse | |



Mind flickering

Painful memories

Tears falling

Refusing to feel

Thoughts wandering

Down the broken path

Of shattered dreams

And fractured realities

Emotions trickling

Into the rivers of feelings

Unable to contain

The waters break free

Sadness washes over me

Grief engulfs me

Words spilling forth

Breaking my resolve

Details | Prose Poetry | |

Dying Dreams

The young dream their dreams away at night

Hoping they come true

A doctor,policemen,veterinarian and other dreams are developed by the young

Too naive to understand the ways of the world

Determined as ever to achieve their dreams

The old regret the dreams they could never accomplish

They had dreams but unknowingly never came true

You go from living a world full of dreams

To living the reality that is life

Why do we let our dreams die

We were so excited as young kids

At the foot step of our dreams

Were we haunted by the mountain we had to climb

To make our dreams come true

Did we simply quit

Because of society’s pressure

Did money deter our dreams away while we slept at night

Did we let doubt creepy into our hearts

Silently killing all of our dreams without realizing it

Why do dreams die so quickly

When we spent years of our youth

Hoping that we could get an opportunity

To make them come true

Dream big, chase your dreams and never let them die

Details | Rhyme royal | |

Good Girls (vs) Skanks

So maybe you don't party.
You don't think drinking's cool.
There's more important things to do
while you are still in school.

Next time they call you ''Good Girl''
just give them a big ''Thanks! ''
Cause later on those ''Party Girls''
are also known as ''Skanks''.

Details | Rhyme | |

A look back

When I was a kid,there was alot that I wondered,
Alot I didn't understand,and some things that I pondered.
I was around four or five,and would do this every day,
So I figured I would share,it's funny some would say.
I wondered how the bubbles got in the bubble wrap,
Or how they got that Jack in the box,and things like that.
How did they get the pop in those pop rocks,
How did they put the rings on my favorite socks.
How do they twist the wrappers on a tootsie roll,
The colors in a tie died shirt,how they looked so cool.
Well now that I am older,I laugh at all of that,
Because now I know they don't blow up the bubbles in the bubble wrap.

Details | Rhyme | |

Jimmy, Get In The House

The street lights are on
Get your butt home
‘Fore I come out there

Take your shoes off 
At the door
Separate all your clothes
And put them in the hamper

When you finish,
Come downstairs
And I’ll fix your plate
But you better eat everything
Not just the steak

That means carrots, peas, and rice
Everything on your plate
Until you eat everything
There is no escape

We’ll be here all day,
If that’s what it takes
Makes no diff’rence to me
But what about videogames,
Your computer, and T.V.

Because you only get an hour
Then it’s off to bed
If you try to sneak away
I will, have your head

Cause you know how you are
Especially in the morning
Sleepin’ in class
When you supposed to be learning

Speaking of school,
Your teacher called
She said, you have something to give me
And don’t lie about it, Jimmy
I heard the grade already

That’s why you’re not goin’ out tomorrow
You’re staying in to study
I don’t care bout all that pleadin’
From ya little buddies

You gone be in here
All day
Until you get these problems right
You can not afford
To fall behind

If you start that whining
My belt gone be a walking
So get it together
I bet not hear no back-talkin’

I don’t want to hear your mouth
The street lights are on
Get yo butt in the house

Details | Limerick | |

Chirty Limerick

There once was a girl we called Chirty.
She was happy just when she was dirty.
She would sleep with the dogs
and play with the hogs
and stay up catching bugs till 2:30.

She just loved anything that could crawl.
When she'd show me, you know I would bawl.
I can't stand the bugs
but I'll still give her hugs.
(even when she hangs them on her wall) .

One day she was catching a snake
I was praying it only was fake.
It was not only real
but a really BIG deal
when it joined in our swim at the lake.

She's an animal lover, no doubt
and she never stays in.....only out.
When she's old she may change...
that would seem oh so strange
cause this is just what she's about!

Details | Light Poetry | |

No Dope Have To Cope

Dope head
      Just read

Medical marijunia
  Many states don't wanna

Flip this bill
     Said it wouldn't heal


   Seizers waaaaaa

They don't care
    And won't share

Any relief
   Good grief

Tired of  puking
   So  got mussing

 To  FDA
         Who just says

No dope
   Gotta cope

Details | I do not know? | |

To Be a Child Again by Kenny Davis

To Be a Child Again by Kenny Davis

I see the children of today
Their smiles take me away
To my times as a child
And the games that I would play

To be a child again
Means to be taken to an imaginary place
Where a box could be a house or race car
Or a ship in outer space

To be a child again
Means Mother is God in my eyes
My father is like my hero
Like Superman in the skies

To be a child again
There are many times, I would smile from ear to ear
I would jump into my parent’s loving arms
With nothing left to fear

To be a child again
Full of bedtime stories and fairy tales
Whether it was Jack and the Beanstalk
Or Jack and Jill with their water pails

To be a child again
My life filled with Mother Goose
The tails of Humpty Dumpty
And Green Eggs and Ham from Dr. Seuss

Now that I have grown
I recall my times as a child
So young, so innocent
So reckless and wild

To be a child again
My parents would wipe away every tear
It is all of those tender moments as a child
That I will always hold dear

© June 2009 k.davis

Details | Rhyme | |


Imusta speak SPANCH
Yes I said it SPANCH
It puts my son in a tranch
I think I speak clearly and oh so dearly
I say “ put the dishes away”! My son
Hears “feed the fishes and make them want to play” 
SPANCH, it does not affect everyone
Just a chosen few, 
Teenagers they are most commonly infected
It might be their hearing, it might be their jeering
What does he hear, I am so near
It can’t be that they don’t listen, their on a mission
Imusta speak SPANCH a combination
Of sounds letters and words that get all jumbled and
Tumbled in their head. Oh my! I should just go to bed. 
There is too musch SPANCH in my head

Details | List | |

eap-Good Cook

My mother was the  very best cook
In the beginning though she was not
And the very first pie she cooked got
In the house hidden out of sight in a pot
By the night thrown through floor pine knot

Inspired by Brian Strands but not an entry.  I just wanted to see if I could write one.

(Mother said the first egg custard she made was all runny and she didn't want my father to 
know that she messed up so she hid it for a while then poured it through the pine knot in the 
floor.  They were very poor living on a farm in a house without double flooring like today 
and no rugs.)

Details | Rhyme | |

How My Family Has Voted Over the Years

My great-grandfather had amassed extensive knowledge.
If anyone knew politics, he was the man.
He was a graduate of an Ivy League college.
He was a three-time supporter of William Jennings Bryan.

My grandfather continued the family legacy.
I had to consider him knowledgeable among men.
He closely followed domestic and foreign policy.
He voted for the likes of Al Smith and Alf Landon.

My father was quite interested in politics also.
The old man firmly believed in a stable world order.
It seemed there was not a thing he did not know.
His votes went to Adlai Stevenson and Barry Goldwater.

I had an uncle who knew all about politics.
In his lifetime, there was much money he would earn.
He was aware of all the angles and the tricks.
He supported candidates Hubert Humphrey and George McGovern.

I have a cousin who thinks he knows it all.
Great political knowledge is what he claims to possess.
He believes that in this world, he stands quite tall.
He cast his ballots for Bob Dole and Mike Dukakis.

With the candidate to receive my vote, I am not certain.
I am the middle ground between the hawk and the dove.
When I step inside the machine and close the curtain,
I will pull the lever that says “none of the above”.

Submitted to PoetrySoup February 27, 2011

Details | Rhyme | |

Old Grimalkin

Sooty Grimalkin
with ears all in tatters
Stealthy Grimalkin
all paws, pitter patter

Sleeping Grimalkin
curled up by the fire
Dreaming Grimalkin
cream and fish his desire

Scheming Grimalkin
his yellow eyes narrow
Stalking Grimalkin
creeps up on a sparrow

Generous Grimalkin
brings in a mouse
Sullen Grimalkin
kicked out of the house

Details | Rhyme | |


There are some that are gross, slimy, and grimy and smelly too but that could be 
helped with tooth paste who knew? Obviously not you. Just to minutes day and 
night and that smile will be white and bright!

Details | Limerick | |


Relativity says go faster
And time travel backward you master.
But no tempting your fate
Making out with a date,
Cause kissing your dad’s a disaster.

Details | Light Poetry | |

Daffy Definitions by POETRYSOUP ( Part4 )

Thank-YOU POETRYSOUP Family, Thank-YOU very Much YOUR POETRYSOUP brother...HG
School Lunch --- Kid Munch --- Dane Ann
Sleepy --- Snooze Buffoon --- Dane Ann
Stink --- Lizard Gizzard --- Dane Ann
Stunned --- Dazed Amazement --- Dane Ann
Terrific --- Amazing Marvels --- Dane Ann
Tunnel --- Traffic Funnel --- Dane Ann
Undulate --- Love Ripple --- Dane Ann
Vicious --- Violent Victory --- Dane Ann
Violent --- Brutal Bruiser --- Dane Ann
Wink --- Glitter Glimpse --- Dane Ann
Will --- Desire Aspire --- Dane Ann
Righteous Indignation --- Wasting Your Love's Patience --- John Moses Freeman
Ketchup --- Flavor Master --- Dane Ann
Kindness --- Kindling Care --- Dane Ann
Layer --- Endless Clucking --- Dane Ann
LOVE --- Perky Permanence --- Dane Ann
Moonshine --- Booze Punch --- Dane Ann
Mundane --- Earth's Reign --- Dane Ann
Necessary --- Vital Vittles --- Dane Ann
Opulent --- Lavish Living --- Dane Ann
Psychiatrist --- Mind Baker --- Dane Ann
Quick --- Speedy Deed --- Dane Ann
Rebellious --- Rowdy Ranting --- Dane Ann
Travel Center --- Tour Allure --- Robert A. Dufresne
POT --- Metal Kettle --- Robert A. Dufresne
Vegetarian --- Hungry Humanitarian --- Robert A Dufresne
Jam --- Toast Host --- Robert A. Dufresne
Opaque --- Solid State --- Robert A. Dufresne
Incest (1) --- Family Tree Spree --- Robert A. Dufresne
Incest (2) --- Kin Sin --- Robert A. Dufresne
Undulation --- Vexing Vibration --- Robert A Dufresne
Quick --- Time Flick --- Robert A. Dufresne
Vortex --- Whimsical Whirlpool --- Robert A. Dufresne
Query --- Quizzical Quest --- Robert A. Dufresne
Subway --- Electro Metro --- Robert A. Dufresne
Yea --- N'ary a Nay --- Robert A Dufresne
Chrazy Caos --- A Mell of a Hess ---Robert A. Dufresne
Kite --- Light WRIGHT --- Robert A. Dufresne
Chaos --- Naught Of Christ --- John Moses Freeman
Exoressions --- Word Whisperer --- Rhoda Galgiani
Kitty Kats --- Furry LOVE --- Rhoda Galgiani
Single --- Poetic Peace --- Rhoda Galgiani
Compact --- Edited Epic --- Karen O'leary

Details | Free verse | |

The Mysterious Person Under My Bed (written by 9 year old)

The mysterious person under my bed
Is my Mommy
But, at the time
I had no clue who was under my bed
So then I was scared
And I did everything I could
Then I looked underneath my bed
And I saw my Mommy
Then I chased her around
Because she scared me

Details | I do not know? | |

He Say She Say

He cool
He ain't with that he say she say fool
He ain't you she say.
She lay dudes but she say she gay
cause she play pool with he.
He's one of the sons the streets raised
he say these days gotta be brave
cause teens'll beef and flee
3 strays until you be grave.
He say....
But she say what he say be fake
cause she say he be where tha
rich peeps stay selling cheesecake
for weak pay every weekday.
She say....
But like I said he ain't with that
he say she say. All we know is that
he be a 'G' that be on the streets
3 weekdays makin cheese 3 ways.
The other 2 days he on lines like e-bay (sniff sniff)
He say she say the truth's twisted.
She said he said that she said at 3am
she jumped on the Eastway freeway
with 2 dames and a he smokin trees
Eva Mayleen and Philipee
with Breathe Stretch Shake on replay.
Now peep game....
He said to she on 3 way on the other
end Philipee that these 3 didn't go
down the Eastway freeway at 3
that's what she said he said she said.
But she said he don't think straight
cause he be on lines like e-bay (sniff sniff)
she say he craze she say
but he say he straight
forget what she say cause she ain't me.
To be honest though I ain't
with that he say she say, peace.

Details | Light Poetry | |

Aunty Betty

Aunty Betty ate spaghetti 
Every chance she got
For every plateful
Very grateful, she
Would scoff the bloomin’ lot

Aunty Betty ate spaghetti
Several times a day
With every course
A different sauce, and
That’s just how it would stay

Aunty Betty ate spaghetti
Far too much it seems
The urge so strong
It didn’t take long, ‘til 
She busted apart at the seams

Poor Aunty Betty, there’s no more spaghetti
And the look on her face just confirms
That there in her belly 
It’s not vermicelli
But thousands of wriggly worms

Details | I do not know? | |


Red-headed, brown sugar drops on nose
Taller, taller, taller he grows
Big brown eyes, braces on teeth
Wax in ears, boots on his feet

(Observing my grandson sitting in the ENT office to be told that he has some 
hearing loss from constant allergy, infections, and middle ear infections.)

Details | Limerick | |

Prince Charming

there once was a poor man named Dave
who was treated much like a slave
a vacation they took
and while casting his hook
he hooked for his princess a wave!

Details | Rhyme | |


There’s a spider in my shoe mum 
There’s a spider in my shoe
He really is quite big mum
And I don’t know what to do

You silly boy just pick it up
And give your shoe a shake
It’s just a little spider
How much effort can it take

Don’t think I’ll shake him off mum
Can’t pick him up or hit him
He’s really very big mum
And my shoes they nearly fit him

Oh don’t be such a baby
Stop acting like a fool
Please hurry up and do it
Or you’ll soon be late for school

But mum, he’s really massive
I’m terrified, what’s more
He just picked up my jacket
And he’s thrown it on the floor

Alright, lets have a look then
Oh my, this one is bad
It really is enormous
Run upstairs and get your dad

Details | Light Poetry | |

A Notion Of A Whisper

A flower will start off as a simple bud/
It then will grow forth !
As when birds in Summer tend to move North/
Yet as the flower may bloom/
There is often found room in which to grow,

Have a positive mindset in life,

Longevity !
There will be many storms !
Yet we all must not allow them,
To dictate what may happen in the future/
Today be a positive light to a darkened place/

Live by example !

Cause many people are watching !
They will be looking for some hidden quality,
Hence, a bit of understanding/
Perhaps it's determination or a great sense of integrity !
Yet without cement to hold a brick it will eventually fall/

This isn't some store bought item that one gets at their nearby mall,

Let all your words be few yet sweet and sincere/
For far too many people in life,
That don't even bother to care/
Just then a little bird had whispered in my ear/

Yet none the worse for wear,

The heart is deceitful above all things !

Still who can know it ?
A true friend is rather polite and sincere/
To the one who will often show it,
Set the standard high for yourself !

For whether you fall,

You will know in your heart/
That you gave it better then some college Joe try,
Try to keep your mind on just one thing/
For this is the essential key to your success !

Details | Couplet | |

Musical Fruit

It is the seasonal time for gas.
It’s usually gentle on pass.
Favorite when weather gets cold.
Age old recipes prepared so bold.
Tis natural things, we all do.
Some may try, though there is a clue.
Cannot mistake the odor it shares.
Indeed it is made with natures cares.
Warms the body, soul so very well,
Though it has a historic story to tell,
Tis the season for many more things,
Truly it has a musical tone that rings.

Details | Sonnet | |

Minnesota Nice

The great upper mid west
Minnesota put to the test
Ten thousand lakes and streams
Reality for many who like to dream

From Itasca state park
To the Louisiaina's wooden bark
The mighty Mississippi flows
Gently down the outcrop she goes

Crime rates are always's on the rise
But really does it come as such a surprise
Everyone seems to like to hug
Except when its a mosquito bug

So many call us Minnesota Nice
But some still say were Cold as Ice

Details | Lyric | |

Family is Overrated!

Headin’ back home
I don’t know what to think
I want to roam but
"I disagree," says my shrink

What does he know anyway?
And why does he want me to stay?
Family is overrated!
Family makes life no fun!
My family is too outdated!
My family makes me want to run!

Walkin’ through the door
I see my dad
My bags hit the floor and
My dad looks rather mad

Why does he think I’m so bad?
And whys he always mad?
Family is overrated!
Family makes life no fun!
My family is too outdated!
My family makes me want to run!

I see my mom too
What does she think
She says, "Your rents due!" and
She leaves with a wink

Why should I have to pay rent?
When all my moneys spent?
Family is overrated!
Family makes life no fun!
My family is too outdated!
My family makes me want to run!

I see my brother
Sittin' on his bed
I ask him, "What’s with mother?" But
He never heard what I said

Never liked him anyway
I feel like I’ve been betrayed
Family is overrated!
Family makes life no fun!
My family is too outdated!
My family makes me want to run!

We gather ’round the table
For some dinner
"So are you able to
pick anyone but a sinner?"

My mom never liked my girlfriend
Thought she’d pass like a trend
Family is overrated!
Family makes life no fun!
My family is too outdated!
My family makes me want to run!

Packed my things up and
Headed for the door
"I’m leavin' for a distant land!" Then
My mom’s jaw hit the floor

Never liked my family anyway!
Wanted to leave every day!
Family is overrated!
Family makes life no fun!
My family is too outdated!
My family makes me want to run!

Details | Acrostic | |

As the Baby Cries

At a

And complete

Of time,
Sanity, as well as

Details | Rhyme | |

Trespassers Must Pay!

I thought I saw a mouse.
It ran behind the heater.
My daughter jumped and screamed so loud
I thought I'd have to beat her! 

I grabbed the kitchen mop.
My son, he grabbed the broom
but all we did was scare the thing
and chase it from the room.

I guess I'm not too helpful
when I'm standing on the chair
but I'm not going near that room
until it's out of there! 

I hate  the change of seasons
because it never fails.
There's bound to be the visits
from their tiny little tails.

I know it's mean to say this
but I've set a nasty trap.
The one sound that I love to hear 
is that vicious little.....

For all you ''mousy lovers''
forgive my evil ways
but trespassers are trespassers
and here....trespassers pay!

Details | Rhyme | |

Working she thought I be

so there I was 
fishin just because
working I told her I be

she didn't know my where abouts
or me in's and me outs
bet her I'm home by 2 or 3

trolling a long
scratchin my ding dong
happy as could be

so there I was
don't know why it do's what it does
It was a sound so eerie

then there was a pop
the outboard came to a stop
stranded there I be

so I ate a moon pie in style
drank RC cola awhile
and stared at the sea

then I knew it wasn't the end 
but there came a little wind
and capsized I be

so there I was all alone
and was scared to the bone
all around me was sea 

before me flashed my life
and my beautiful wife
a widdow, she will be

I knew I wouldn't fail her
I'm the son of a sailer
tuffer than nails I be

so without my boat
I did the dead mans float
and swam, when I, had energy

oh how I wished
I didn't get jellyfished
stinging, all over, me

"god I can't tell you where to begin"
"promise I won't do it again!"
"fishing, she'll know I be"

"so if I had another chance"
"I just pooped in my pants!"
"I won't, let you, down you see"

"so forgive for my sin"
"and I'll say amen"
"I sure, hope, you hear me"

I almost gave up
but I kept my chip up
it just wasn't meant to be 

so with all that I am
I kicked hard, paddled, and swam
then a shrimp boat I see

then with god I made a bet
when it passed by I'd grab the net
thankfully saved I be

well I was no longer alone
and on my way home 
hero's they were to me

and though I was wet
my wife lost the bet
made it home by a quater to three.....

By Captain Mike

Details | I do not know? | |

Mystery Phone Call

There it was a phone call
Someone asking for me,
I ask now who are you
Yhey just replied mystery.

I try hard to think back
Through family and friends,
I just start naming ones off
The person laughs saying it depends.

Getting a bit uneasy now
I demand from them a name,
With a sly laugh once more
They just said the same.

I wanted to just hang up
Please tell me once more,
I need to know who you are
Turning the handle they are at my door.

Nervously i walk that way
Unlock the door and then say,
You scared me half to death
My brother laughs and walks away.

Details | Rhyme | |

The Day The Circus Came To Town

As I looked out of my window across the village green,
Who could ever imagine the sight that was to be seen?
The circus came to town today, filled with love and pride,
All the children ran to see it, no-one tried to hide.

The elephants were standing there, holding each others tail,
The lions and the tigers look like they were all in jail.
The clowns with painted faces, smiling and falling about,
Roll up, roll up, tonight the night, the ringmaster was heard to shout.

We bought our ice cream and hot dogs and went to find our seat,
Excited as the lights went down, we clapped hands and stamped our feet.
First came the lion tamer, he cracked his whip and held a chair,
I watched as he made them sit then stand, ran his finger through his hair.

Next up was the trapeze act, flying so high off the ground,
Leaping through the air, twisting and turning around.
The sea lions playing with beach balls and honking on the horns,
Monkeys having a tea party, eating cake and messing up the lawns.

The elephants enter next, up roaring with their trunks,
They stagger across the floor like some giant drunks.
They stand on hind legs gracefully and swoon and take a bow,
We stare at them in awe and respect; they look like a grey cow.

Then the high wire act walks on a rope suspended 50 foot in the air,
We gasp and close our eyes but we just have to stand and stare.
A man is fired from a cannon, landing on the other side in a net,
We knew he’s done this lots of times, they haven’t missed him yet.

The clowns arrive in a funny car exploding in clouds of smoke,
We laugh at them with buckets of water, what a funny joke.
The custard pies fly everywhere; we have to make sure we duck,
If we keep our eyes open, they’ll miss us with any luck.

So now it’s nearly over, the grand finale comes to an end,
We all stand up and clap and cheer and shout for our new friend.
Time to gather our belongings and head out of the big top,
Sawdust memories, tigers and lions roar, we really had the lot.

Details | I do not know? | |


                                    HOW MUCH FISH CAN SMOKEY EAT

All cats like fish as we all know,
But Smokey just loved it,
It made quite a show.

My dad went fishing most every week,
And Smokey would wait,
By the door for his treat.

Dad always saved Smokey a nice big fish,
But Smokey kept begging,
To refill his dish.

One day Dad asked him,"How much can you eat?"
And gave him another,
Just for a treat.

Soon it was gone and the cat was back,
Begging and pleading,
For the fish in Dad's sack.

Time and again Dad gave him another,
And finally asked Mom,
"Has he got a brother?"

"Am I feeding two cats? Where does he put it?
I can't give him more,
He'll make himself sick!"

So Daddy refused after five or six fish,
And Smokey decided,
To fill his own dish.

While Dad was busy, quick as a flash,
He snatched up a filet,
And made a mad dash;

But Daddy was quick as the cat it would seem,
And grabbed back the fish,
As the cat made a scream.

Round and around each tugged at his end,
Till at last that poor fish,
In the middle was rend.

The cat ran away with a piece in his mouth,
To hide with his fish,
Somewhere in the house.

Dad had great fun retelling this tale,
Of the great tug of war,
With the cat and fish tail.

                                         Judy Ball

Details | I do not know? | |

counting my kids

6 beating hearts, 
both loyal and true. 
belonging to only, 
my 4 and my 2. 

12 eyes see my soul 
1 trust from the start 
1 000 000 memories 
6 smiles touch my heart 

8 years of cuddles 
and countless to come 
Inisde 48 fingers 
and 12 little thumbs 

stomping stampeding from 
12 little feet 
laughter explodes between 
200 teeth 

6 gorgeous heads 
sporting 1 button nose 
each with their own share 
of 6 and 0 toes 

no number to measure 
all the joy that i gain 
only 1 way to fix it 
start counting again 

James Mahauariki 2010

Details | ABC | |

Mashed Potatoes and Gravy Train (

Well we certainly did it last night
When we went grocery shopping, there was a slight oversight
The dog will not eat his regular feast out of the bag under the sink
But he won't go thirsty, he will have plenty to drink
He's a good old boy, he will not complain
We're having Meatloaf, Mashed Potatoes topped with the dog's Gravy Train
The chunks seemed to soften as they were put on the stove to bring out the flavor
The family will find out if it is something a person would savor
The smell was quite odd, not bad, not good, just odd
Maybe this would be gourmet in some areas abroad
As the kids sit the table, with the plates all the trimmings
The secret item is reduced to simmering
Everyone is ready to hear about the brown chunky stuff on the potatoes, I begin to 
We forgot our usual Mc Cormick's instant, so we had to Fido's Gravy Train
Everyone at the table looked at one another
I hand the first plate to their mother
The next serving I passed to our daughter of  age three
Then the next one came to me
I took one bite, the chunk shimmied down the throat
My stomach instantly began to  bloat
The three year old took a bite and passed gas with the sound of a Whooping 
Needless to say we gave Fido back his Gravy Train

Details | Limerick | |


Roy and Zenia had six kids I say
And all of their names began with J,
June, Junior and Justin
Joyce, Jackie and Jacquelyn,
Why in the world would they think this way?

And Jacquelyn, we think should know better
Did the same dumb thing, but no matter,
Candace, Carla, all C's
Celeste and Cory 
When friends mocked, they think that they flatter.

So Candace want to keep up the trend
And she named all her five children M,
Malika, Makela
Makeva, Maesha
And Makai is the boy at the end.

Well Malika she just had a son
Amari is the name of this one
So I hope she’ll be smart
And don’t follow this art
If to her some more children are born

Details | Rhyme | |

Caesar Really Was A Decent Bloke

I once knew a bloke
Who hailed from Stoke
He saw me on the street
And so we did greet
But I said to him with much ire
"You're a liar
You call me your chummy
But you hate me mummy"
To the allegation he did respond:
"You are mistaken, of your mum I am fond"
"Nay" said I
"You just like her black pie."
After much thought
To his lips he brought:
"Caesar really was a decent bloke"

I once new a lad
In dog tooth suits he was clad
As I boarded the tube
I yelled "Hey rube!
You slept with my sister 
Explain mister!"
He consternated
And maybe debated 
But he said:
"Caesar really was a decent bloke"

I once knew a sod
Who seemed quite odd
I was watching the Blues
When I said "Those are my shoes!
Explain saucy knave!"
He replied: "To me your girlfriend gave
After that
Unforgettable spat"
"That's a false report!"
I said in retort
To which he said:
"Genghis really was a decent bloke"

"Don't you mean Caesar"  I said
Reply:  "Forgive me cabbage head
I have no abode with which to rest my node
Be gone with you
I have two 
That'll make you stew
If you don't shut your gob
Don't talk of Caesar my name is Bob!"

One day
On my parlay
Through Southhampton way
I was confronted
By a man with head bunted
To me he said
"I wish you were dead
200 pounds you owe me"
I shrugged at the fee
But did reply
"Caesar really was a decent bloke"

Details | I do not know? | |

the night before christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, and all was still. Well everything apart from old nanny Lil.
The old bird was nearly one hundred and two, and time is quite short, when you need a poo.
Poor granny was caught short, and started to worry. Behind her she left a trail of slurry.
When she finally made it onto the loo, all you heard was a fart belch splatter and ooooh.
She walked out the loo with hop and a skip, and slipped in the slurry and broke her hip.
So in the hospital was where Lilly spent Christmas day. In hindsight it’s probably better that 

Details | Prose Poetry | |

Finding My Pure Heart

All the violence on TV was probably not good for me
All the decapitated corpses on video games not the brightest idea for me
Life’s real dramas just frustrate me
All the fabricated television dramas annoy me
We all love a happy ending yet we consume the misery and pain of others
Haunted by life changing events
At times I just simply need to vent
Why be educated and humble when being ignorant and shallow brings you fame
Why save your virginity for marriage, when society’s sluts take all the good guys that a girl covets
Why be a nice guy, when all the respectable women settle for assholes yet are surprised when they are mistreated and cheated on
Why live a life down the correct path, when the wrong path is glorified and admired by society
Beneath the darkness and rubble of life exist the flickering white light of my once pure heart

Find more of my writings and poems at

Details | Free verse | |

Bathroom engaged

There he blows
on his way to the gents
Book in hand
we all know 
this is where 
he shall be occupied
for the next half hour

Imagination envisages
him making himself 
There for a duration
Intent on sinking 
his teeth into several chapters
of the latest James Patterson

Belt slowly snakes
to the floor as he sits there
on task in progress
with trousers half mast 
supported by knees
Book on lap

A certain familiar 
thunder echoes 
through the house
Stench slowly seeping
through under door
Leaves mum running
for the air fragrancers

Doors and windows
are opened as mother
tries to ‘air’ the house
as she goes about 
her business cleaning
the house until it shines
bright as a freshly minted coin

Eventually father emerges
Fresh and relaxed
Missing one gas mask
Mum trepidly takes a breath
and dives into the bathroom
Intent on finishing her work
disguising Dad’s omissions

Bathrooom engaged again
Mother’s work never done
and yet as she vacates
a beautiful flowery scent
followers her through 
The empty room vacantly
awaiting – welcoming next guest.

Details | Narrative | |

The Waffle House Way!

Customers are like bouquets of flowers passing through our twenty-four hours.
Breakfast, lunch, or dinner all 365 calendar days guaranteed for a full twenty-four seven.
“Hello Sir”! Welcome to Waffle House America’s favorite place to eat!
Some say we are the closest thing next to God's Great Heaven!
We have a confusing language of our own, the blabbering towers of the real “April Showers”
Service with a smile that has walked the many hard-earned extra tenths of miles,
Nothing computerized with files, just organized by our own genuine unique styles.
Waitresses are serving with hard enduring time and each crosses over a mighty fine line,
Master grill operators optimize a divine talent marking your plates perfectly aligned.
Friday and Saturday nights the party train arrives blessed coffee to the many lips we’ll revive.
Regulars and irregulars you’re served just the same, pardon me did I really get your name?
Loud ones, quiet ones, and even the picky ones strive to come back to us,
Here we bring back the basics of being alive.
Scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, diced, peppered, capped, or topped? 
So do you want them “All the way or just partly aflame”!
Young, old, or different at being indifferent just being sane, 
Especially when the “Waffle House Way” is to say the first “HELLO”!
“Morning Mam”! Can I get you your usual or will you be having something different  “TO GO”?
Brief moments of insanity with the moods that walk through our doors, 
Thank God for every single one of those Jukeboxes!
The quality of service opening an eye to the sly foxes, 
We’d really be in trouble if we sold liquors!
Foreign, military, and even civilian are in and out, 
Our servers are like the gold stored at Fort Knox.
So what can we get you today that you haven’t already had before?
 “The Waffle House Way” America shouts!
 It’s like being home because that’s what we are all about.

Details | Rhyme | |

~Sleepy, Silly, Slumber~

I'm sleepy, but my eyes are opened wide!
I get in bed and crawl under the covers to hide.

"Shh....did you hear that"? I ask."I heard something"!
"Oh, it was just your imagination", you say..."it's nothing".

Okay I whisper, and I close my eyes tight!
you whisper "Do you want me to turn on the light"?

"No," I say and slowly peek out over the top of the cover at you.
"Then go to sleep," you say annoyed! And that's just what I do!

"Hey, what was that"!? you ask jumping up out of bed!
I laugh at you still half asleep, as I sleepily shake my head.

"It's nothing"! I laugh, "Come back to bed now".
"Okay". You say still unsure, then like a macho man you smile.

"Don't worry baby I'll protect you, if anything happens tonight"!
I laugh and then ask you, "Do you wanna turn on the light"?

"No, I'm fine, I certainly don't need it, what about you"?
"I'm good" I say drifting off into dreamland where dreams come true.

"Mommy, Daddy,"! We hear a shriek! "I heard a loud noise"!
I get to their room quickly and that's when I notice the toys!

I point to their toys all thrown in one big pile behind the door.
I bend down to pick up his dinosaur thats buried on the floor.

We all share a good laugh and get back to our dreams in dreamland!.
Maybe tomorrow night we can repeat this all over again!

Details | Blank verse | |

Get Told

I've had to grow up
and down and back again,
but its nice hearing
the new that everyone knows.
You can never be too old,
especially when you still get told.

Details | Rhyme | |

Stacked Up High

It is a wonderful apartment
But, just comfortable for three,
A surprise visit from relatives
Soon turns into a catastrophe.

Ouch watch out will you
Cried from a young child,
How do you find the space
Seems they will be here awhile.

Breakfast now requires shifts
Lunch and supper do too,
Lets not forget about bedtime
Oh, just how to make it through.

We pile them in one at a time
Please, step over that one,
Parents are under much pressure
While the kid's thinks its fun.

With time going by quickly
Your guests will soon go,
All the over crowding now gone
You'll really miss it I know.

Details | Free verse | |

Laundry Mouse

Little itty-bitty mouse,
In the laundry room.
I have seen you scuttling, scratching about,
I've seen you a few times,
Dancing on the jarred food tops, 
Playing peek-a-boo between them and,
Running back and forth between cupboard and washer.

Little itty-bitty mouse,
Where is the rest of your meese family?
At home I hope, for you alone are enough,
So please tell them stories, but do not invite.
It won't be so pleasent for me to see your
Meese family dancing on my jar tops,
and playing peek-a-boo all the time.

Little, itty-bitty mouse,
In the laundry room.
I hear you scuttlin, scratching about every now and then,
I've seen you dancing, playing peek-a-boo and running.
But please don't stay too long, 
And please don't invite your meese friends and family to play too.

Details | Haiku | |

Go Fetch

a leap of great faith
time to hit the water pool
fetching is for me

Tribute To
Man's Best Friend

My Pup {Shadow}  LOL

Details | Light Poetry | |

Bundle of joy

Doesn’t he look like his mother
And the nose, it’s his fathers you know
Look at his grin and the shape of his chin 
He’s the image of your brother Joe
The hair, there’s a lot, it’s amazing
It’s like granddads before it fell out
His lungs are so strong, well it won’t be too long
He’ll be screaming and running about
Oh bless him he’s smiling, he’s lovely
He’s so cute you could eat him for tea
His eyes, well, they’re certainly grandma’s
Pick him up, pass him over to me
He must be an absolute pleasure
New babies can bring so much joy
So what are you going to call him, 
Oh dear, so she isn’t, a boy

Details | Blank verse | |

Dog Ownership

  Dog owndership is not for me nor is the
dog walking buisness even if someone was
to pay me a fee or buy me a car and
throw in a house that's free of mice

  Dogs always have to stop and sniff around often
 even and lag way behind especially if their person
wants to contine walking and thinking out loud while
assuming that the dog is close by to find out that's not

   Dogs usually want to be good or so trainers claim
 but training a dog is a stressful challenge although 
 it's great to have  one's dog in the car at Taco Bell
 and there's nobody else with whom to share

    It's harder still when one's dog seemingly starts to
   have a hearing problem and runs away from the driveway
  as if confused on a hot day and then runs back home before
  it can be found- I like certain kinds of dogs but to own one just
  isn't for me.

Details | I do not know? | |

Alert - Evil Has Escaped

Alert -Evil Has Escaped

May I have your attention please!  May I have your attention please! 
Early sunrise, yesterday eternity, evil escaped. Its real and it’s a big deal. It was given life twice for a hideous crime that doesn’t rhyme.

Be careful and keep in mind, there is no shame in evil’s game. Evil comes in many disguises, and has been known to change your life without a fight.

As we speak, evil was just seen at 33rd and Good Hope Street.  Two victims in a dispute suffered great mental, physical and spiritual pain. My, my,  another two claimed.

You ask, is there an M O, for this evil. The answer is, for sure. We must not allow it any more.  Just last week, two friends in school were fooled.

  Evil does what evil does best; it attacks your sanity, when you had little rest.
It has no respect for age, gender, sex, religion or nationality. 

Selfish and extremely dangerous. If seen, please notify the nearest Office of Goodness and Mercy.  Or contact Goodness directly at

As a result of your call, evil was arrested and picked out of a profile. Judge ‘Tired Of’, selected a jury who is mean and furious.

After the evidence was brought in, evil was told to raise it right hand and be sworn in. Evil refuse to tell the truth, arguing it was against my belief.  The judge said don’t worry, you want get any relief this day, not even a brief stay.

As a result of it crimes, Evil was banished from the face of this earth. And given two hours before sunset to remove itself from the minds and hearts of humanity, or face a deadly calamity.

Friends, it’s within your will to let peace be still.
Dr. “G”

Details | Light Poetry | |

Got Maury

Got Drama
        Oh Mama

This One Guy
       Don't Pass By

Five Days A Week
       Turn Dial's And Seeks

Not His
  110 % Sure Is

Caught In Act
          With Other In Sack

Control Freaks
     Mothers Who Seek

Out Of Control Teens
  Sometimes Drag Queens

Fifthy Time Liars
       Maury's For Hire

Details | Limerick | |

Mister at the Dog Pound

There once was a dog born in July
With three brothers and a sister, oh my!

In five months he was taken to the pound
And there by a family with a baby was found.

Home they went, but within a month did know
That jealous of the baby the dog did grow.

So, back to the pound he was taken
But the little dog did not feel forsaken.

All his friends were waiting there
Oh my, he didn't have a care!

Brave and bored in a cage he sat
Staring across the room at a large yellow cat.

One day anoher two-legged being came by
To stare, and smile, and say with a cry:

"Look at that face ... what a face!
Oh my, I want to take him home to my place!"

"What's his name?" she asked the clerk with a sigh.
"His name is Logan", the clerk did reply.

Logan?  Logan is a strange name to be,
He doesn't look like a Logan that I can see.

But he's certainly masculine, oh my
What a barrel chest and little head held high!

Such a face so strong and wise,
With those big limpid brown eyes.

He looks for all the world to see
Well ...  he looks like a, like a Mister to me!

So Mister the Dog found a home
Leaving his friends at the pound all alone.

Details | Monorhyme | |

Open Up

I walk towards my house without a key 
I pound at the door continually
I hover around the apartment with little energy
I run to the window with much animosity 


Details | Rhyme | |

My Mom

My mom is fun
And cuter than the sun
She is very smart
And never acts tart
She is very nice
And doesn't has lice
She can be sometimes mean
Well thats what it seems
She is a mother of three
And one day she was sent free
She gives me love
And is pretty like a dove
This is my mom
And her name is not tom

Details | Rhyme | |


As a dad of three I’ve got your measure
We love you protect you give us lots of pleasure
But……mums and dads aren’t as daft as you think we are
Dads give us a fiver and ill wash your car
Mum….can I take a couple of pounds out of the copper jar

My car barely sees water and a sponge because it’s too much mither
And the copper jar that held a tenner now holds just a fiver
And so it goes on

Dad….can I stay out as long as Paul his dad lets him stay out till eleven
A quick call to Paul’s dad guess what Pauls in at seven
We love you dearly but you kids think were daft
But were on to you it’s almost become a craft

And the classic dad can I have my pocket money mums give her last to my brother
A quick word with mum reveals you’ve just had a tenner
Me and your mum we do talk to each other
Clean your room up I’ve asked you 4 times if you don’t that’s it your grounded I said
I’ve done it dad you tell me I go check it’s clean but it’s all under your bed
That’s it your grounded
Toys out of pram and don’t give me that look
You know the one open mouthed astounded
You see mums and dads aren’t daft it’s all part of the game
But…..through all your tantrums and tears
We still love you all the same

Details | Light Poetry | |

Picking up the pieces

If your woman should pack up and leave you
There’s no hiding the fact that it hurts
For there’s no one to do all laundry
And there’s no one to iron your shirts
You will sit there alone and dejected
Feeling so sad and bereft
When there’s no one to tidy the house up
God it’s tough when your woman has left

So your woman has moved out and left you
And you’re feeling morose and depressed
Don’t mope about, get up and go out
And get the whole thing off your chest
But alcohol isn’t the answer
Don’t sit in the pub talking twaddle
Get off your arse join a club or a class
And get out and find a new model

Details | Rhyme | |

True Camel's

On African deserts you must be wary,
Of the famous one humped Dromedary.
He is jealous of his Asian brother,
Who has that hump and then another!

That Bactrian camel (the one with two humps)
Must slow way down when crossing bumps!
When those humps hit they go, "Ker-Splatt!"
Did you know those things are filled with fat?

Bactrian camel's are handsome guys,
With long thick brows around their eyes!
With those two humps and pretty faces,
They're very popular at the oasis!

So that's the story of True Cammel's
That happy, humpy desert mammal.
On any desert you should be wise,
Park your car and ride these guys!

Copyright 2010 Karma Adamson

Copyright 2010 Karma Adamson

Details | Lyric | |

A Trip To Heaven

At times, the world demands too much
And more than I can give
So then I close my eyes and dream
A special place I'd like to live
There's calmness, peace and warmth in the air.

Details | I do not know? | |

When Bodda Boom ! Met - Bodda Bing !!!

Years had passed still I had every bit of reason to grasp/

That true essence of what he said/
Yet there was many thought's inside my head ?
Like the time I drove my big wheel into the yellow Ollie !
I was speechless in thought and deed

Still I never bothered to take heed/

All I wanted to do was just speed !
That's how Bodda Boom met with Bodda Bing !!!
You all know what I mean ?
I even could hear that sweet little bird sing/

Bodda used to be a good friend until when
Bing came strolling into the town/
Many thought the freekin guy was such a clown
So nobody wanted him around/

Today Bing resides right next to The Jersey Shore
Last I knew he lived with a whore ?
Yet who knew/
About that two timer Boom/

He's the spitting image of Jessy James/
Then with his face I'd like to rearrange !
How could he do that to such a beautiful lady !
She's better off settling for Wavy Gravey !

So it was back to the past,
We had every reason to grasp/
That day when Bodda Bing met up with Bodda Boom !
Yet who knew ?

Details | Ottava rima | |


Even before the arrival of the first snows, so brilliantly candid, 
we climbed mounts less dangerous than the Alps's;
and we proudly chalked it up to our experience.
Now the snowy cliffs with bouffant boulders,
have lost their captious and so beatific image,
and quite too often we got pinched by burdock,
distracted by the robins chattering on a coarse descent;
I champed on crisp strawberries, while he challenged his strength.   

My buddy never castigated me for my bizarre behavior,
and I admired him for displaying  humor without repulsion, 
or retort, and with chisel and hammer we engraved faces of historic men
on the smoothest rocks which were replete with their handsomeness.
Those adventurous afternoons are repealed when we look up,
and recreate them through our Male Chauvinism, cheery not dumb;
we felt like cave men making rudimentary drawings of their hunted animals,
while their women picked wild chicory for an early dinner. 

Chums we were, resembling cowboys with wide hats in a chiaroscuro,
drinking in a bar filled with fashionable ladies frolicking and saying hello;
and chili con carne we ate, and plenty of beers to wash it down.
After our money was all squandered, our pockets were empty and we felt alone,
dazed...wobbling with fear, afraid to face our witless wives at home;
we were two idiots wooing empathy and some undeserving love.    
And didn't they seem two witches ready for vengeance in their frown,
trying to squeeze the truth out of our silent and pretentious mouths too fulsome?

Frost will bring winter soon, and the snowy cliffs with bouffant boulders will be covered,
our hair have turned almost white to match the bright color of the deep snows,
as this river is freezing up, to become a sheet of ice, where no boats or barges pass;
and we play chess, the intramural game of a confined life, without those clandestine affairs.
Our darlings approve with sweet intonation, intensifying their affection so amorous;
and we embrace them with that tenderness that they have long desired...
staring at the snowy cliffs with bouffant boulders that these two climbers made their own,
remembering the cold and the shivering...coming down to a valley of comfort and domain.

Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci

Details | Narrative | |

Tuesday Night Poker

On the occasional Tuesday night,
with my mother at work
and my sisters and I 
in our pajamas,

my father would invite over
his brothers
and his friends from the lumberyard
to drink beer and play
five card stud.

I was allowed 
to greet each player and 
watch the opening hand.

Each man would arrive with something:
a sixer of canned Budweiser,
a bag of potato chips,
a metal band-aid box filled with nickels and dimes.

Benny, the stout and jolly lumberyard foreman
with his thick skinned paws and naked lady tattoo 
on his forearm,
would bring chocolate bars-
the king-sized ones 
from the candy aisle at the supermarket-
for my sisters and me.
He was like a blue collar Santa.

Uncle Guy brought his good luck charm-
a Canadian nickel.
Not knowing that it was not uncommon,
I’d be allowed to hold it and study it,
intrigued by the beaver.
My uncle would place the nickel on the table
next to his vodka on the rocks
and fresh deck of Pyramid lights
just before the first hand was dealt.

Uncle Buddy, with his Magnum mustache 
and light blue eyes,
would bring his laugh-
a hearty hoot of a laugh that would be heard,
although somewhat muffled,
through my bedroom walls
long after I brushed my teeth and was sent to bed.

I’d hear the snap and fizz of beer cans being opened
and the jingling and jangling of growing pots
as I lay in my bed,
wide awake with the caffeine from Benny’s chocolate bars.

Details | Senryu | |

' Mama's Foot (or Giant Step For Mankind ...' 37th Senryu

A Warm Heart, Cold Feet
Girl Told Guy, Now Marry Me …
… Kick Him In His Seat !

Details | I do not know? | |

Terrible Threes'

Will he ever stop his whining,
Will he wear his battery out
An ongoing headache circle
Nice would be his voice going out
He has the will of a 1000 bulldogs
Grouchy from short of  sleep
Forever finding something new
To start to pester me
It seems his mission is successful
Changing but the same
The battlegrounds are busy,
Here’s hoping life gets easier-
When he is no longer three

Details | I do not know? | |

Flip Lady

Flip Lady Flip Lady she had that sweet
To even approach the Flip Lady you need that cream.
Flip Lady had that treat that had fiends
Backtracking the streets for a sack of oohwee!!!
Flip Lady was a hussla, she had blueberry yum
Plus large amounts of sticky green, not talking 'bout gum.
Flip Lady had flavors to savor for days
They say she's paid major from 3 different states.
Flip Lady distributes to kids with acute cash
Two bags'll last two days hash'll blaze fast.
Flip Lady Flip Lady she had that sweet
To even approach the Flip Lady you need that cream.

Details | I do not know? | |

How "Mary Nagy" Became "Maggie"

I don't know how it happened. 
I'll never understand.
When I got married and changed my name
I was in wonderland! 

My maiden name was ''Gasiewicz''.
Say that one ten times fast! 
So when I became ''Nagy''
I thought...some peace at last! 

It seems an easy name...
I'm simply ''Mary Nagy''.
But somehow through the years...
they've turned me into ''Maggie''.

I have to laugh about it.
It happens all the time.
I guess it is just natural
when two names seem to rhyme.

I get it in my daily life...
''Hello, How are you Maggie? ''
I just chuckle to myself
and say ''I'm Mary Nagy''.

I didn't think I'd get that 
mistake here on the net.
But, yep, It's happening again...
''Hi, I'm Maggie. Have we met? ''

Details | I do not know? | |

Mommom's Televison

Mommom always has the television set
on when I visit her.
It's always tuned in to the Lifetime Network
or a Matlock rerun on TBS.

It's caddy-cornered near the fireplace
and it sits there lazily,
with its gigantic rectangular face
in its hulking frame 
flickering images of a white-haired
and blue suit wearing Andy Griffith.

It's a family member- an obese aunt.
I wave hello to her as I walk past 
to kiss Mommom's cheek.
I offer Television a piece of candy
I have brought for Mommom,
but she waves it off.
She's probably on a new diet
she saw on the Fit Channel.

Mommom and I chat
and Television listens intenty.
Always polite,
occasionally blurting out
a commercial or news flash.

When dinner is ready
we let Television rest.
Catch some zzz's,
I tell the old gal.
I send her to dreamland 
with a push of a button
on her remote control.

After the meal,
we'll have some fresh coffee
and Jeopardy
and crumbcake
and Wheel of Fortune.

Details | Free verse | |

I Won't Write Santa

This year I won't write Santa,

Instead I'll write the President.

I won't forget to five-space indent,

Or write, Sincerely, George; from Atlanta.

I hope he reads all his notes, like Santa,

For at Christmas, he takes time to listen.

To a little boy that feels so sad,

Because all year he've missed his dad.

My dad is quite a brave man,

To go and serve in foreign lands.

Mom says, I must be real strong,

A sad letter to the President would be wrong.

My mom is always right,

Though, I must write to him this night.

I won't write a sad letter to him at all,

I'll write, "hope you have a ball."

I know he'll spend time with his dad,

His dad must be really proud and glad.

He'll have all his love ones with him,

"Ho-Ho, Merry Christmas to all of them."

Details | Rhyme | |

When You Have Children

When you have children, your life sure will change,
You become different, and act rather strange.
It could be hormones, because they do peak,
Most of us become, that controlling freak.

“Please do not touch that, it just might be hot”,
Sometimes you’d catch them, and other times not.
They’ll crawl and then walk, and boy can they run,
“Don’t twirl around, though I know it’s fun”.

It’s so amazing, to just watch them grow,
They think we’re stupid, and they let us know.
While looking at you, the stove top they touch
Screaming and crying, “Oh it hurts so much!”

“I told you it would, you chose not to hear,”
“Don’t touch it again, or me you will fear.”
They know how to push, each button at that,
For when that happens, in a chair they sat.

Age two and age three, aren’t really that bad,
But when they are gone, you aren’t really sad.
And when they turn five, your patience they test,
You need a time-out, you know it is best.

They want things their way, or else they would pout,
“I gave birth to you, but I’ll take you out!”
You never did think, those words you would say,
Your mom had warned you, you’d get yours someday.

Details | I do not know? | |

We belong together

        When I left I lost apart of me, It's still so hard to believe she's not worth it 
baby we belong together. I threw away all my other friends so we could be together but 
your not even happy with me how could this be we belong together? I spent 3 years on you 
for nothing and we were suppose to be something. How could you just walk out that door? 
How could you leave me here crying for more? How could you walk off and go marry her? We 
belong together. I couldn't sleep since that night when you walked out my life, I called 
and call and listen to sad songs on the radio. I always think of you and it's making it 
hard, your the one who left and i'm the one whose left here to mourn it's not fair that 
i'm left with this we belong together. She doesn't tuck you in tight and your always 
slipping off her mind she flirts with pretty much everyone. I saw her in the store 
kissing some other guy and you claim that i'm jealous of her. How could you say something 
like that when I had you first you walked out of my life and I didn't ever ask for the 
wedding ring back. Why are you constantly lying like a jerk with a big ego I just wanted 
you to know that we don't belong together. Maybe I was right when I wrote you a dear john 
letter, and slam the door in your face when I caught you with her. Though it hurts me 
deep inside I finally realized that we don't belong together. I can sleep at night 
without you by my side, I'm not lonely anymore. I only think of you when i'm on a date 
and I can smile and thank god that this one is nothing like you. We don't belong 

Details | ABC | |


they  are  very   different .you  like to  spend  time  with them.enjoy  life  with 
them.your  family  will always  be there for you.

Details | ABC | |


most  people  like  holidays  and  some  dont  or  they  are  always  grumpy  on  
holidays.mostly  the  children like  holidays.lots  of  family's  spend  time  
together  and  have  lots  of  fun  on  holidays.

Details | I do not know? | |

Slam 1 - Big Mister

its funny how  you mention my plethora of girth
this coming from Mister looks like hes given birth
whose idea of excersise is lifting a fork
while drinking straight gravy and munching on pork

See, working at Mcdonalds aint a problem, its true
coz further down the menu they make salads too
so dont even try to give me your flack
Mister Quarter pounder with fries, choc shake and Big Macs

Mister bucket of chicken with pride and with flair
who can eat the whole lot and not want to share
Mister cheese sauce on salads runny eggs and a steak
so dont even try to mess with my weight

i loves ya big brother, Mister 200 plus pounds
you say uv got looks i say thats profound
last time i looked i can run down the street
Mister tries to look down but cant see his feet?

so the next you try and mess with my groove
remember big Mister i got all the moves
so dont try to beat me, it'll end up the same
you may have the looks, but bro ive got the game

Details | I do not know? | |

The Rainbow Climber

I love to climb up to the tippy-top of rainbows
pulling myself up on ruby red ribbons
and swinging on blue bonnet bows
It can be hard on me when the wild wind blows
A beautifully dangerous love affair, I suppose
Sometimes it can be a thorn
but most times it's a rose
This colorful little hobby that I chose
It always leaves me with sour yellow lips
fluorescent orange ears, and a neon green nose
from all of the slipping and sliding
and the running, hiding, and colliding
Where a rainbow ends nobody knows
As I close,
Let me just say
That the best part of my rainbow climbing day
is at sunset when all of the grey
has been washed away
and I reach the top 
and get ready to play
That's when I take a big breath
smile, and deny death
and I stop
and then I dance
on my tip-toes
and I spin around as my whole body glows
even my clothes
Then I'll slide down head first breathing in the highs
and breathing out the lows
I always make sure to slide head first into the mist
where I am colorfully kissed
and feel 5 years old
I bang my head
of blue, green, yellow, orange and red
on a giant pot of glittering gold
where all of my hopes and colorful dreams unfold

Details | Rhyme | |

wellness 4 Carolyn

we all seem to suffer yet again, again, but worst of all is the lonesome plane, we want you well and free of pain, sweet Carolyn arising, well again... our wanted horizon, bring courage within the flame... by illness cauterising... Don (quixote)

Details | Rhyme | |

The Christmas Letter, dedicated to my mother

I thought I would have, all my cards in the mail
You can tell that my pace, is that of a snail
I’m such a “go getter” and I hate sitting still
One things’ for certain, I haven’t lost my will.

All the testing, the blood work, x-rays and more
Thank goodness the lab, has a revolving door.
I’m covered in bruises, from head to my toes,
I say it’s ‘cuz, I punched a guy in the nose.

This pill, and that pill, it is hard to keep track
Is this for my stomach, my eyes or my back?
All of my treatments, are a thing of the past
I don’t have to see doctors, I’m free at last.

Believe it or not, hubby’s quite a good cook
And he doesn’t follow, a recipe book.
I’ve had to scold him every once in a while
“Please don’t leave that clean laundry, sit in that pile”.

He vacuums, does laundry and even does chores
Fixes washers, dryers and paints all the doors
He’ll relax in his chair, and he snores quite fast
When he gets loud, I’ll turn the TV full blast.

I have to admit, that it’s funny to see
Looking out that window, as he trims the tree.
I still try to figure, why men can’t “just trim”
NO, they hack, saw, and pull and leave just a limb.

The Grandchildren are growing, fast every day
Time passes quickly, which is scary to say.
Thank goodness for family, and friends such as you
May all of your dreams, and wishes come true.


Details | Tail-rhyme | |

Toothless Angel, Mary Grace

Mystifying, magical melody
      your first laughter is to me;
As blissful and as joyful as bliss
      and joy can ever be;
Really you're much too young
      to even smile, my dear;
Your lilting giggles, such
      soothing music to my ear.

Gleefully you pinch my nose,
      grab my hair, you little rose;
Readily you enchant me with
      that toothless angel's smile;
And you bounce mirthfully
     up and down my tummy;
Clapping small hands, innocent
     eyes that let me see;
Eyes that mirror love for life,
     for you from mom and me.

Details | Light Poetry | |

Melvin and JJ

Melvin and JJ – you silly cats,
You always know how to make me laugh.
You run through the house like tornadoes with tails,
And tear up my furniture with your razor-sharp nails.

Melvin is the oldest, and like a big brother,
He takes care of JJ, like any good mother.
Washing, kissing and playing, but it never fails,
Melvin will let JJ know, “I am the alpha-male!”

JJ is the baby, quiet and sweet,
He loves to snuggle up under the sheets.
He nibbles my fingers when it’s time to get up,
And adores his Melvin with brotherly love.

These two cats are inseparable for sure,
Even when they sit outside my bathroom door.
I love Melvin’s “crazy eyes” and his “lovey eyes”,
And JJ’s soft little meow makes me sigh.

It is said that pets enrich our lives.
That is true of these two guys.
Because they are not just felines – you see,
They are a part of our family!

Details | I do not know? | |

Letter to My Sister

Dear Sister,

I am writing
to let you know
how glad I am
you are gone.
How much I appreciate
your presence not
being near mine.
How much more
I like you
when I don't have to 
tolerate you
on a daily 

So I have 
but one
simple request.
as far away
as you possibly can.
Because then
I like you 
much better. 

I send you 
my best
and hope
you will grant
my request.

Always your sister,
never your friend

Details | Quatrain | |


Green peas and all kinds of beans
are split open to release their seeds,
like those peas in a green pod,
that mother cooked in a huge pot!

One of my dad's friends who wore a veteran's brooch, 
would shamelessly cheat to get a delicious split-pea soup;
mom didn't know he was a cheater, and surely would have hit him
with the wooden dough roller when he peaked with a grim!   

And mom slowly stirred the vegetable soup,
she used to say, " The longer it cooks, the better it tastes! '
And my mouth was drooling to taste those soft peas...
that I took out of the seeds' casings without miscue! 

Mother rushed in the kitchen with a roar of an enraged lion,
" That idiot is playing no fair game! He is a menace to all!
And he passes glasses of brandy to get everybody drunk! " 
" He wants to win no matter what the cost...oh, clever maven! "

The split-pea soup steams like a hot volcano erupting,
the cover of the pot blows off, " What a mess on my stove! " mom  screams...
" It's all his fault that I am in this state! " she continues yelling...
" I still hear his big mouth mocking...wait 'till I have finished cooking these peas! "

Entered in Nathan's Laccese contest, " Two peas in a pod " 

Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci

Details | Haiku | |

Coke And A Smile

drink coca cola
tap bottle or in a can -
it's so refreshing

Tribute To 
Coca Cola Company

But Please 
Wash Those Cans First

Details | Light Poetry | |


This is the man that I am

No need for a detective because I have few mysteries

Whatever you don’t find its trapped somewhere inside my mind

I put my life into words for the whole world to read

I hope you enjoy what you see

A South Korean English teacher by night

An avid writer by day

A helpless romantic somewhere in between

The smile and joy from my students is priceless

Seeing someone enjoy my writings is pretty rewarding as well

I feel that everything in my life is finally going well

From my writings you may find that hard to tell

Sorry I don’t write more fantasies or fables

To convey happy emotions and attract more followers

You are getting my life through my eyes

I don’t have a sweet tooth so I don’t sugarcoat things

I write what I have seen and how it has effected me

My adventures and journeys have been vast

Come with me on this ride

Together we can both be pleasantly surprised

With what I will write

This is the the man that I am

Find more of my writings and poems at

Details | Couplet | |

A Card For You

I was looking for a card for you,
one day in the Wal-Mart store.
Along beside me was my husband,
He almost began to snore.
I tried and tried to find the one,
that could tell you how I feel.
None could thank you for all you've done.
Not one of them seemed real.
I still persisted for quite a spell,
My husband now isles away.
How long I lingered I cannot tell.
But probably most of the day,
When it comes to you, a card won't do,
that I should have learned.
No poem written old or new,
Is good enough ,where you're concerned.

Details | Rhyme | |



What this title means to you,
possible thoughts are getting through.

Lifelong is from birth to death,
surely didn’t cover his every breath.

Then again, possible for a layabout,
on backside’s not a worthy tout.

Proclaimed a “cipher”, he’s not a hero,
from Arabic that digit equals zero.

What’s he done in this deserving?
Be a lazy zero, totally unswerving.

A fond relative once told me,
measuring work, so easy for he.

45yrs’ lifting freight, not a dream.
Conductor 5 more, peaches and crème.

At retirement profoundly he’d say,
“last 5yrs, two crackers a day!”

Using this metaphorically speaking,
apply to havoc of ciphers’ wreaking.

Next time diet changes with flu,
conjure the cipher related to you.

With some satisfaction smugly say,
“ZERO’S’ worth equals crackers a day!”

Details | Rhyme | |

The Ebay Auction

He watches the ebay auction
with greed acrossed his face.
I try to get his attention
but he's staring into space.

He just keeps on "refreshing"
the screen with patient care.
It worries me to see him
when he's got that wicked stare.

It's addictive and I know it.
It pulls you in a spell.
You try to get away from it... it doing well??

Will we reach the reserve?
Does it look just right?
No, I can't come to bed right now...
My auction ends tonight!!

Details | Couplet | |

Who Love's Ya Baby

who loves ya baby
hmmm now let me see

I know my mommy did
even though her shoes I did hid

I think my daddy did
when I didn't make him snid

brothers and sisters well maybe just a little
when I didn't get in the middle

my grandpa and grandma surely does
for I'll do anything for them just because

I know my little girl loves her momma
even better than president Obama

my dogs and cats loves me
even if they continue to make me sneeze

even my close friends new and old still spark the love
for we will alway's go on and well above

paperboy surely does
cause I tip him for keeping my paper out of bushes and shrubs

milkman used to
when I didn't make him shu

bill collectors oh yes
for I'm their baby who they love the best

so who loves me
well lets just continue to see

Tribute To Love

Also Entry For
Deborah Guzzi's 
Who Love's Ya Baby Contest

Details | I do not know? | |

Lose The Weight !

Just as though a person will train in the natural/
God wants us to use his talent in the supernatural !
A thought to ponder,

Many years ago/
A very noble poet had penned,
"The pen is mightier then the sword !"
Yet what was his richest reward ?
This came not from the things given to him by men !

One man had prayed long to God for help/

He went to the doctor,
Shortly after the doctor stated, His prognosis was grim !"
Lose the weight or your going to die !"

In return the man worked out everyday;
Even started working on his tan,
All of a sudden, the man started looking and feeling great !
Time had passed and he was crossing the street one day,
Suddenly he got hit by a car !

In the return the man prayed to the Lord again;

"Where were you God ?"
His reply was,
Frankly with that tan Sam, I didn't quite recognize you !
As the pen was to the sword/

Learn to pull forward to earn God's greatest reward !
One word to the wise,
"Read your bible and stay away from all of Satan's lies !"

The moral of the story may be strange but true !
That God isn't ever through with you !

Details | Senryu | |

Ying Yang

(Ying Yang)
Stagnant was his life;
Her capricious habits grew,
His ying was her yang

Details | Rhyme | |

Ho Ho Ho

Go to sleep 
Go to sleep
My little ones

Or Santa
Just won't come

For he knows when you are awake
For He knows when you are asleep

Close your weary eyes now
And I'll go take a little peek

Tap Tap Tap
Upon the roof

It's santa coming 
For I hear reindeer's hoofs

Hush Hush now
Don't say a word

Better hurry 
And fall fast to sleep
Or he just may leave you a big turd

Let sugar plums
Dance in those pertty little heads

As I made sure
Santa was nice and fead

Cookies and milk
With nothing else

Oh thank you my dear Lord
For this nice little cord

For they are fast to sleep
Now I can go back to bed
And count my own lost sheep

Details | Chastushka | |

Cold Busted (Chastuska)

Papa, you should blame me not
For you were kissing that girl, 
Your ins and out’s got you caught hot
That’s why Mama rocked your world

Details | Rhyme | |

My Theory of Moles

I have a theory about mole from the Mexican cuisine.
Some will make you happy, others may make you mean.

They are prepared in many different arrangements you see.
Many of certain special ingredients in a labeled degree,

Some are black, red, and green and may be others as well.
Rich in flavors, and textured ingredients, they do tell.

I have only tasted one in my life; I did not like it at all.
However, I have not discounted them, out of my culinary call.

I also feel they are like the gravies we have here in the states.
My grandmothers and now wife, made different plates.

They all taste uniquely unlike, but I enjoyed them well.
Though right now I must say, my wife’s is tastiest to tell.

Details | Light Poetry | |

A Gravitational Pull

Stone upon the water front/
Next to the cashmere pillow,
The pier near the gallow shore/
A man began to speak,

Within this land there shall be no way out accept I tax,
This gravitational pull may bring some down,
Yet if you stay and listen very carefully/
You will live through this time and be very happy !

Many of you have become lazy in the manner of laws,
A decree will be summoned to let us know/
The waiting may be hard to comprehend,
Yet within time you can grow to depend/

The fat of the land,
Let this man take you by the hand/
There can be no further excuses or escape,
The way will depend upon the hearer's !

Details | Free verse | |

Soggy Rings of Victory

early Saturday morning
I wake up to
coffee brewing and
cartoons blaring

making my way into the kitchen
I hear Looney Toons
from the living room
and the shower running

I quietly enter the bathroom
smiling and undressing
to surprise you

pulling back the shower curtain
with the Technicolor duckies
I find our son in
full snorkeling gear
desperately trying to sink
an entire box of Cheerios

I grab my robe and
head to the living room
to find you laughing
through your Cocoa Puffs at
the hilarity ensuing on TV

after a quick good morning kiss
I lick the dribbled milk
from your goatee
and head to the kitchen for
that much needed coffee

before my first sip
our son emerges from his adventure
covered in soggy
rings of victory

Details | Free verse | |


The sun is shining,
warm summer,night
time to set the grill alight.
Wait untill the charcoal is white,
then you know,it's right.
Bratwurst, steaks,spareribs,
it makes my mouth water,
thinking of this.
The aroma of the meat
sizzling on the grill,
cold beer nicely chilled.
Salads,jacket potatoes,
garlic bread too,
any thing else,just wouldn't do.
Guests seated at the table,
all there from uncle Tom to aunty Mable.
savoring the grilled delights,
talking, well in to the night.
Aunty mable, stands up to go,
not too steady,don't you know.
Nothing to do with the drink,
it's old age, I think.
We party till early morn,
after having drunk, lots of korn.
Telling of tales old and new,
wondering how the time flew.
Yes that was a good night,
now it's time to sleep tight.

Details | Rhyme | |

Poor Fly

I saw an old guy,

Looking around outside,

Just like a spy;

Peering into the sky,

With beadle brown eyes,

That matched  his tie;

That I would not buy -

But I would that pie,

That the old lady tried,

To keep from the fly;

That constantly went by,

Angering her to cry,

Which I wondered, why?

Then I saw the old guy,

Swatting the fly,

She stops and sigh;

For the poor fly dies,

And she yells, "oh my!"

As he adjusts his tie,

Then happily says, "Goodbye!"

Details | Rhyme | |

Look At Those Beautiful Lights

Look At Those Beautiful Lights

By Elton Camp

The family reunion has come to a close
Kin are important & we like seeing those

We were glad to a good size bunch came
Who, in some way, share the family name

Despite all the cooking & cleaning it does take
We never thought hosting it to be some mistake

But now the last ones are going down the drive
Yet another reunion we managed to survive

“Look at those beautiful lights,” my wife sighed
“City lights?” I asked.  “Tail lights,” she replied

I have to admit that she is really correct, though
Nice to see them come, but better to see them go

Details | Free verse | |


Still going ever deeper after all these years
In rudimentary changes featured taunt in blinding fears
That soft pull of a heart will light a spark
Over head we can quietly look at butterfly's circling the wind
With ovart cluster filled with circling eagles
In summoned line formation to reach upward
A tug at the heart will light a spark

Still going deeper...

It's gravtitational pull may bring some down
Some lasting sentiment of praise withstand
To help embrace fate nor that in some cup to raise
In some darkened peril place with vile imaginative trace
Along loose lines by which to bind

Inside I still hide behind a garb filled with walls that are trapped

With hidden wounds to silence then bind to bite & devour
Shaded colors emmersed in radiant lights filtered to flourish

In many faces proned in traces looking back at me from peril strain
While the caged fury of the outside world is totally insane
Still going ever deeper then ever before...
A reckless abandonment from my fractured skull having ravaged body thrown on floor

Some shouts of peril to doom will seal your tomb along a sunset shore
A human heart is a choiced vice that can be used by choice
They are garland to grace your head
All her paths our peace yet some lead to the dead

Guard your heart amidst the perils that falter
Give me shelter to cry amidst the pain & turmoil
Branded my reflection in a sentiment of reprise
In strict adherance to the law from temporal recourse

Although a tear drop should fall sends a shiver down my spine
A fresh scent of dew will help swallow up the pine
A passage of unique fragrance sprinkled on the quaint existance
Within solace we can anticipate peace

Through a memory filtered in the state of complete retreat
Gone are the days to frolic in a haze
Today we are all second guess as a mouse is in some maze
It's gravitational pull will bring so many down

Shadows proned again into inhilation,
Heaven sent through angelic appease..
The choice of divination to some stuck twart existence.
Planted in my fragile computerized egg shell mind!

Details | I do not know? | |

Windows and Boxes

Then and now,
my favorite thing to do
has always been
looking through windows,
looking in boxes.

I can still recall
that day.
Ten years old,
my first Pokémon.

My friends were my Pokémon,
my emotions were calculated through damage multipliers.
It was the life.

Now, my old friends gather
under my bed,
yet do not age.
But I have aged so much.

Stuck with humans present, I cry for those digital friends,
whom I could love without judgment,
whose overall reliability was a tangible number
in that Game Boy window,
where the only drama I felt
came in pixilated, perfectly perpendicular text boxes.

Humans are so flawed,
but not those Pocket Monsters,
whose margins of error were always measured
in a perfectly percentaged probability.

I know amazing people
who volunteer, serve, love.
they are deluded, imperfect.

I had a creature with low power, basic moves, and that always lost.
but It

Details | Rhyme | |

A Toast To Mom

oh the weather outside is frightful
and having snowball fights were so delightful

getting hit in the butt and head
then laughing cause you start seeing red

hooking on car bumpers for a little ride
wearing tennis shoes we did slip and slide

mama yelling to get off or you'll be dead
we never listened to what she had said

socks for gloves to keep little hands warm
even amidst a blizzards storm

soaked from head to foot
looking like santa's outfit full of soot

but what I remember about fun the most
was waiting for mama's hot coco and apple butter toast

on that speical Christmas morning day
before the Lord had came and taken her away

   {R.I.P. Mama}

Happy Holidays All
Love Kathy And Jenny

Also Entry For 
Deborah Guzzi's
Holiday Songs In Poem Form
Gl All

Details | Rhyme | |

Mysterious Lady in Blue

Pictures sent to us on our PC.
Sometimes are wild as they can be.

As seen in pictures that we just received.
We could see them, as we retrived.

A mystery woman, I have to admit,
Was in all the pictures just a bit.

She had on a blue housecoat and bedroom shoes.
And in each picture her head was hid without any clues.

So finally when we reached the end.
I knew there must be one on which we could depend.

In the very last picture, there she stood.
And you could see her face as plain as anyone could.

It was Catherine, my wife's sweet beautiful sister.
Looking straight at the camera, thank goodness they finally clicked her.

She lives in Georgia with her husband Joe.
And has three children, all grown now you know.

They send us pictures on our PC.
And sometimes the pictures are as wild as can be!

*Catherine I love you with all my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Details | I do not know? | |


Somebody’s stolen my hamster
It was there when I went up to bed
My sister is sitting there laughing
And saying my hamster is dead

She thinks that it’s ever so funny
That Hammy keeled over and died 
Then she showed me where Hammy was buried
And I fell to my knees and I cried

The tears only lasted a minute
When a thought entered into my head
If my hamster has gone up to heaven
Can I have a new puppy instead ?

© John W Fenn  16-02-2009

Details | Free verse | |

Victory Is Mine

I wish I could say failure was as unknown
to me as my brother's current address,
but last year on my seventh anniversary,
I gave my wife a cupcake with a candle in it
and a six pack of non-light beer,
four of which I drank..

The spot where my college diploma 
should be is taken by a picture
of pool-playing dogs and the caption,
"hey, one leg on the floor."

My childhood soccer uniform is not
framed in my office next to other
sports memorabilia from fellow
professional athletes.

Yes, failure follows me as closely
as my little brother did, age four through ten.

when I saw that toddler-sized dribble of pee
sporadically hit the inner walls of the toilet 
and then waterfall downward into
the pool of redemption below,
I grabbed my newly potty-trained son's arm,
held it up toward the gods that made it all possible,
and yelled, "gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooal!"

I followed this up with an acceptance speech
to a still toilet-seated audience member of one,
in which I thanked everyone from huggies pull-ups
to the first years toilet seat company.

Weeks of hard work culminated in this one day,
and I knew
victory was mine.

Details | Light Poetry | |

Da boyz a lazy

Ma's a naggin'
I be laggin'
Feets er draggin'
Levi's saggin'

I is cozy
pickin' poseys
Life so rosey
Gotta mosey...

Details | Rhyme | |

New Tradition

Turkeys shuffle about, strolling around the farm.
Each passing morning, one day sounding the alarm,
Who would it be this year Sally, Ted, or Mom?
However, this season was secured, ready for farmer Tom.
Thanksgiving was on the horizon, they were conniving.
Fred the youngest Turkey, had a plan he was comprising 
Fred, now the leader of clan, grab farmer Tom right now.
Threw him down on the ground, hypnotized him and how.
Prepared words for that day, he said Tom you want Cow.
Beef tasted better, more then any flapping turkey or sow.
He looked deep into farmer Toms eyes and said very quick.
Start a new tradition, skewer the meat, and grill on a stick.
Your family is much bigger, needing more protein to eat.
Look at all these pigs and turkeys, they will never defeat.
So lean and minuscule, families hunger will never be beat.
Now get up and butcher a cow, time for family to meet.
This began a new tradition, for this time of year of cheer.
Next Thanksgiving time, Fred would hypnotize for deer.
Turkeys danced and sang; Fred kept his pride sincere.
So look out next year, farmer Tom, Deer hunting, is clear.

Details | I do not know? | |

Whisper (The Secret)

Let me tell you a secret peep it
poetry is an art form, so intriguing.
Whether you're in solitude
or on stage speaking not speechless.
Poetic speeches teach the future's
young leaders many reasons
to lead the leadless to be leaders.
Knowledge, college scholars showered
with power make nonbelievers cowar.
Hardtimes tower over our life
and devour us from the inside-outward,
if we let it.
If we could....backtrack our tracks
to the past back when
elementary class was in session,
I'd take a different road
as an inacurate adolescent.
Back when....
grandmother was packin' a blessin'
in a black sac clappin and stressin'
cause young kids weapon clappin'
in da back of da black Lac
actin manish.
I'd be a....
doctor, an athletic athlete in a track meet,
a balla that packs Heat like Shaq.
A teacher, I'd be Puff Daddy
and remix 'Mo Money Mo Problems' featuring Aretha.
But remember, that's my secret,
shhh, don't tell anybody.

Details | I do not know? | |


The Princess in her tower tall
With oaken door and granite wall
Sat sobbing at the window high
“Will someone save me” she did sigh
“Fear not young maid,“ a voice did shout
“For I am here, to get you out;
I have a cunning plan, so sly
To free you from your tower high
I’ll dress as does a man who’s poor
Then knock upon the outer door
And when the guard doth then unlock
I’ll beat his head in with this rock”
“Kind Prince” she said from up above
“You’re someone, I could truly love
But your attempt will be in vain
To rescue me you’ll need a crane
Although your planning may seem sound
I weigh three hundred and twenty pounds” 
The prince then pondered hard and long
And wondered where he’d gone so wrong
He yearned to be a Royal hubby
But not to one who’s quite so chubby.

 © John W Fenn   03-12-2008

Details | I do not know? | |

My Holiday

The Holiday is almost here because:
I hear the sound of bells ringing for needy kids.
Listen at the tussle and bussle in crowded malls.
People cussing and fussing about their so called in-laws.
While the kids is a pouting about their letters to Santa Claus.
The family is decorating our tree with old fruit looms oops... I meant heirlooms.
So lets break out the eggnog to toast the decking of halls in our home.
With granny in the kitchen baking a yule-tide-log.
Look out here comes the so called in-laws.
Carrying the same old fruit cake we gave them last  year.
Put on a smile and open the door to wish them Happy Holidays with gritting teeth.
As I thank the in-laws for the fruit cake that I take straight to toss out the back door.
Lets sit down to the table to eat our Holiday feast that I slaved on all week.
Over to the tree we go to exchange gifts that we really don't want because its 
something we'll never use.
To your family from ours we wish you Happy Holidays even though were looney 
as hell.

Details | Quatrain | |


When the well-rested rooster woke up at noon, he found himself in the lap
of a gorgeous boy and he was telling his mom with urgency,
"I want this rooster, he can keep the lonely and moody parrot company!"
And staring at him," It's a rooster, not a pet!" she exclaimed.

Mothers always try to please their kids, and sometimes they really spoil them,
not according to their customs and beliefs, controversially fathers are stricter than them;
"I'll take care of him and soon he'll be living in our ranch home" he promised...
and continuing,"From now on, his name will be Harbor: the lovely place where I found him!"

The gentle boy kept his promise and Harbor became part of the family,
and the talkative parrot taught him to say the exact words he said;
and months went by, but nobody knew that he could speak so humanly,
and how did they find out that Harbor was smarter than an ordinary bird?

They overheard him in a challenging conversation about finding a perfect mate, 
in the shortest time and the shrewd parrot thought he surely would have been the winner,
but to his surprise, Harbor used his accumulated wisdom and searched the nearby farm,
where chicks were bred and then put in perforated carboard crates on a freighter.

Harbor looked around and didn't really like any of the chicks he saw,
and was he about to give up on his search? Suddenly not! He trotted past the noisy farm,
and to his bewilderment, he spotted a young chicken on the grass below...
and gallantly approached her, and with a chat started a romantic affair by keeping her warm.

Harbor and the young chick clicked and they quickly were talking about marriage,
lots of baby chicks to feed: the ultimate dream of two domesticated birds; 
at first, the upset boy wasn't too happy about their agreement, and exploded in rage,
but realizing what was best for Harbor, he finally gave him his blessings.

On the same farm the newly-wed live, and have big plans for a large family;
one more thing, if curious folks decide to visit them anytime soon, they need a reservation.
They will show them around with their fowl hospitality, but rule out temptation;
none of them will end up on their plates for the next Holidays or any other special festivity!

Details | Free verse | |


A champion within us all

In direct correlation between time & space
To be selective then destined to negate
The difference in an influence & choice
In a dream one can easily scream...

Through a slight of hand & then,

A champion within us all
Now we can stand ten feet tall
Amidst uncertainty & critical excursion
In sullen laughter to help appease disaster

A shoulder to cry amidst a gentle reply

Nature derives destiny from matter
The substance of equivalent structure
A champion within us all
Triumphant over most

Through a lone blade of grass drifting away

A heart beat away from a full pulse display
Still pressed between its current world I know
Then to be suddenly faced into the land of forbidden

A large chasm fix between the two exist

Within the foundation of freedom in swift disapproval
To soar ever higher into its vast domain
The whole world view or fabric in our existence
For many is humbly equated to reckless abandonment

One has to be very careful how they perceive this analogy.

Details | Rhyme | |

Fast Awake

Thank God for 7-27, when my son flew in
Life as it should be will forever begin
Charming little visions of how days are meant
To teach him as he shows me how life is spent

Listen to me now and read what I find so true
Words are like a beat that can start a groove
Bring the rhythm back to lift your spirits up
Don't worry too much because we all get stuck

My life seems to stop before it begins
Caught in another ever-recurring trend
Giving away every one of my previous wins
With Faith and company until my life ends

It's time now to be down again
Even faster than western winds
Life can run around, leave you in loop
Feeling that life needs one more scoop 
Tip the timer over, fall with the sand
Live for every second you possibly can

I will soon learn should luck turns up
I'm lost, backwards, and running amuck
Trying to regain what I thought I missed
Elusive, erratic and ending up like this

Never have I wanted to be other than here
Life in crystal-clear brings visions near
Capable are your dreams so easily achieved
All you have to do is work & truly believe

Look for a big picture in whatever you see
Never believe free, it offers no guarantee
Just sit back and listen to tales they tell
And make your own path but remember it well

Don't try to be so deep, just work to relax
Make life a story but include all the facts
Learn about yourself when you're at the mic
Work the crowd just to see what you're like

Life will soon be everything you need it to be
Proceed with sight don't let only destiny lead
You always have control in every step you take
Follow dreams today and always live fast awake

At times I don't know where this path would go
Like I'm hosting a show I've never seen before
Filling in the gaps, taking punches for others
Learning along the way what life really offers

It’s time now to be down again
Steps closer to an unknown end
Digging up dirt nearly burying yourself
At least the digging is good for health
Live your life now, stay until the very last
Live your life today as if it's already past

Details | I do not know? | |

The Piece of Hair and the Little Girl

The little girl was in her bathtub.
She was minding her own business.
When long came floating by a lonley piece of hair.
Omg the girl screamed bloody murder.
Her mommy came running in only to find a piece of hair,
All she could do was laugh and tell her child to calm down its ust hair.
The mommy left and the girl screamed again, so the mommy came back in
only to find another piece of hair floating in the tub and a piece on her daughter.
She made her ge out of the tub and told her again
It's only a piece of HAIR!!!!!!!!

Details | Light Poetry | |

Talking To Kids Of A Whole NEW Generation

Note:  This is not my kids.  This is dedicated to a......friend 

Now my children time has come for me to talk to you. 
I've let you make your choices in what you wear and do. 
But this has gone way to far and way to fast. 
So let me touch on some points that had better not last. 

Daughter, with multi rings on your fingers and 2 on your toes. 
I know sooner or later they'll be one through your nose. 
Then do you know what will happen next time you sneeze? 
You'll be shootin' big 'ol snot globs out that hole at me. 
That tattoo that you've got on your big left breast 
You think it's sexy now, but let me tell you what to expect. 
Right now it's up there sitting pretty as you can see. 
But when you reach the age of 60, where do you think it will be? 

Son that tongue stud that your sporting doesn't look to sweet. 
I'm waiting for you to swallow it, the next time you eat. 
You swear it is  in there tightly and you have no fear. 
But when you tried to demonstrate you choked on it my dear. 

Daughter, that eyebrow bar is just the ugliest thing you've done. 
It looks like you had an accident with a pneumatic staple gun. 
Oh!, and lets not forget that sexy belly button ring. 
When you get old and forgetful, you can hang you keys from that thing. 

Son?  Just what were you thinking when you picked out your new tat? 
Homer Simpson eating a donut?  Couldn't you find something other than that? 
And to have it proudly spread out on your behind 
says you'll never have a girlfriend, unless she is blind. 
Then there is the subject of the ear plugs in your lobes. 
Just how big do you intend to let those puppies go? 
They're going to hang down like some ear handle 
Folks will think I dropped you twice.  Oh god, They're going to dangle. 

Daughter those clothes your wearing don't make you a looker. 
I won't pay the bail when you are mistaken for a hooker. 

Son, you'd better be pullin' up your pants, you hear? 
No one wants to see you walk like you've a load in there. 

Last and certainly not the least, your choice of hair salons. 
I never thought I'd see the day my daughter and my son 
Both with rainbow spiked hair, it all just says so much 
It says "Please don't hire me because I'm a big butt munch

Details | Free verse | |


First comes the line,

Then comes the sinker/
Dealing with Tony is like dealing with a real stinker !
It's so not what you know,
Rather, in many circles it's who you blow !
Out cooking the books with Tone/
He'll be your best bet for gathering and taken in on a loan,
The pool shark Jones had just left the premises !

Cooking the books now for Tone !

Mr. Jones was sleeping nice out around the Mrs./
At one time he thought he was some contender,

Pressed for questions,
There initial approach was all wrong/
Out there painting the town then sleeping nice next to the fishes,
Couldn't pay that last dinner tab ?
Now there staying late at Sally's cleaning all those dishes !
Loose lips sinks ships/
They still may be tripping with Rosie The Derivator ?

Hence, the given line is being drawn in the sand/
Yet to much afraid to stick it to the man ?
Within time their comes a bit of pain/
Like not having you in my arms is driving me insane !
Two Kanuck's came back from Jersey Shore/
One knew Tone,
While the other was sleeping around with a two bit whore !
He was only half Sicillian ?
Tone took in the first/
The second went away for a ride with Tone !

On a very long ride !

Yet is they really knew Tone,
Loves to cook the books on the side !
Just like he likes his greasy french fries/
The mob still rules !
We have no reason by which to run away and hide !
You can fully trust them cause their family.

Details | Quatrain | |

Fishing Fun

Our fishing trips arn't fruitful,
but they're always lots of fun.
We always have a story
about losing "the big one".

Most of the time we're casting
while dad says "Watch your pole!
To be a real good fisherman
you have to play the role!"

"You can't keep reeling in your bait.
Patience is the key.
If you just stare right at the tip...
You'll get will see."

"Stop making noise!", "Stop fidgeting!"
"Who drank up all my pop???"
"Don't hit her!" and "Don't look at him!"
"This fighting's got to stop!!"

Just when we reach the fishing hole
of course you need to pee!!
Next week we'll try it all again!
It'll be fun... REALLY... You'll see!

Details | Light Poetry | |

Duke's Dog Do Poo Poo Pick-Up

Did your Dad tell you too
But the video game is in
Did Mom say you must
But the TV controller seems to be stuck
Did Sis tell you NO
And you really hate her guts
Did your brother say Shut UP
Butt you know he's a butt
You know you really have too
But you can't seem to get up
Too Do The Dreaded Dog Do Pick Up
Did you wait a little bit to long and it all turned to rock
Did it all turn to mush with the big storm we just got
Did the neighbor plug his nose because your mutt goes to much 
But your eye are stuck to the Boob Tub
So what should you do about all that Smelly Dog Poo Poo
Just pick up your phone and call 
Duke's Dog Do Poo Poo Pick Up 
The rates are great just fifty-cents a pile
Not much of a wait  So don't hesitate
Emergency Dumps Twenty-Five extra
Have the time use that Dime and don't forget to ask about
The Senior Citizen Dog Do Discount

Details | Chastushka | |

Other Love

Sweetheart, sorry, I forgot to tell
Outside, I’ve other love, waiting
Will you let her in, and, do not yell
For she, got your blue eyes, smiling

Details | Cinquain | |


anguish abates,
melancholia lifts-
anticipation erupts in

Details | Quatrain | |


                                           I REMEMBER SMOKEY

Once when I was just a kid,
My sister eight years older,
My sister's boyfriend came to call,
As we were playing soldier.

Stationed in the jungle we,
Cut off from our troop.
Surrounded by the enemy,
We must escape, regroup.

To do this we must make a stand,
Take out that lone guard.
A local girl distracted him,
So we could hit him, hard.

My sister led him to the porch,
To kiss her friend good night,
Not suspecting they were watched,
Or what we planned that night.

They stood before the porch steps,
In young love's sweet embrace,
I'm sure the neighbors heard his scream,
You should have seen her face.

We snuck up very slowly,
They never heard a sound,
They thought that they were all alone,
With no one else around.

The timing perfect as we leaped,
I yelled to him,"ATTACK!"
And Smokey did as he was told,
He ran straight up his back.

The young boy screamed, jumped off the porch,
And made tracks for his car.
My sister cried to Mama,
"He'll prob'ly have a scar!"

The young boy swore that he was bit,
Felt teeth in his behind.
I grinned and said,"But not the cat,
The teeth he felt were mine."

Mama laughed so hard at that,
That we did not get punished.
My sister went into her room,
Her reputation tarnished.

She felt no boy would date her now,
She had a rabid sister,
Who hung out with a feral cat,
No one could resist her.

So cute and sweet, she had it all,
You'd think she had it made;
But with me no one would call,
She'd die as an old maid.

                                                   Judy Ball

Details | Bio | |

You're Going To Get A Good Whoopin Now

there was 
a naughty girl
and a naughty 
girl was she
for nothing 
would she do
but peek at 
christmas gifts
with glee
she would
look for name
like was a game
still curious
and bound
little pokes
in presents
were found
now she
had to
grabbed tape
oops late
in came mom
without sound
she laughed
I cried
said sorry
gift taken
from thee
how dad
spank me

Happy Holidays To All
Love Kathy & Jenny

Entry For Brian Strand's 
Bio Christmas Parlour Poetry Contest
GL All

Details | Rhyme | |

The Fox and the Rooster

In a pen of grass and hay
Lived a rooster day to day
Living with his hens and feed
Boasting of his will and greed

The world is not a scary place
Ill go there and I’ll have a taste
And there a fox heard his plight
And said come to my house tonight

Ill show you what the world is like
Come over the walls to mine tonight
The Rooster agreed unknowingly
Not realizing dangerously

And so he climbed over the gate
He did not slow or hesitate
To which he thought was so much fun
But he knew not much of what to come

In the cave the fox did wait
Awaiting for the Roosters fate
Boiling water in a pot
This Rooster did not stand a lot

He walked into the darkened cave
He felt so cold and now afraid
The fox jumped out and grabbed his tail
The rooster screamed to no avail

And then a spot of luck arose
And got that rooster on his toes
His tail feathers came undone
And gave him freedom now to run

He ran across the countryside
Into his pen where he could hide
And never did he boast again
Not to the farm or to the hens

And anytime he got to proud
All the hens in the crowd
Point to his tail bare and still
Where no feathers grow an never will

Details | I do not know? | |

Don't forget the sausages

Pop down to the shops Son
I need some bits and bobs
Just a few potatoes
And a dozen crusty cobs
While you’re there, you might as well
Get carrots and some greens
Some frozen peas, some sugar
And a tin of Heinz baked beans
Some tea, I think we need some
Minced beef for shepherds pie
A pound of cheese, the Leicester
We’ll give that one a try
We haven’t any biscuits
You know the ones I like
Only get two packets, mind
Be careful on your bike
When you get back I’ll do some
Bread and dripping for your tea
A slice of bread and scrape for you
And sausages for me

© John W Fenn  03-07-2009

Details | Limerick | |


Whistler's Mother

looked so mild,

but she was the mother

of another child.

she was the mother

of my other brother

she actually was real wild!

Copyright McCuen 2008

Details | Rhyme | |

The Bag Lady

The clothes she wore were twenty years old
Tattered and torn not much protection from the cold
The rusty cart she pushed with wheels well worn
The hair on her head needed to be shorn

Slowly into the emergency room she did enter
Just in time for her heart was tender
As she sat down in the chair
Her lungs no longer filling with air

Passed out onto the floor
Someone coming in through the door
Yelled code blue alert
Then the staff turned with a jerk

Everyone moved in hight speed motion
Some people wondered what's the commotion
Just like lighting to the operating room
Jane Doe was whizzed which was none too soon

After days of tender loving care 
Still unidentified she slipped away from there
Meeting her husband beside the road
Speeding away in their car they drove

She was no bag lady
But America's elderly poor
Who needed heart surgery
But couldn't afford the cure

(This is copied righted on LuLu's as are most of my work, some of which is 
supposed to be published in their anology series. Sara)

Details | I do not know? | |

My Imperfections Thats Just Me

I'm a girl of imperfection, that's just who i am.

Sometimes I give up doing things when i don't think i can.

I'm a horrible liar but i sometimes still try.

They say my give away is something in my eyes.

They tell me I'm to passive and that i need to stand my ground.

Yet when i become a brat(altered for site)....

nobody wants me around.

I am Sagatarious and as stubborn as can be.

I bet on number 9 cus false hopes tell me it's lucky.

My number never wins but i play it anyway.

The dreamer inside me is waiting for that day.

I use bad grammer and stumble on my words.

Sometimes i talk so's hard to be heard.

Some friends call me pokey cus i move at my own pace.

I will get there eventually cus my life is not a race.

I'm a girl of imperfection...that's never gonna change.

Even when you know me, you'll still think i am strange.

Sometimes I'm frustrating and even annoy myself.

I take things for granted and I envy others wealth.

I love the smell of roses but i think Daisy's are the best.

Sometimes I eat the pettles and throw out all the rest.

I love to drive when theres more then just me.

Slug bug gets boring with just the car seat.

I have been known to snore when i sleep.

Bad dreams cause me to grind my teeth.

I was once told I was laughing hard in my sleep.

Still today i wish to remember that dream.

Forgotten forever like a stranger passing by.

The one that made me laugh without saying hi.

Occasionally im clumsey and I'm often being rushed.

Be careful with feelings are easily crushed.

I'm modest about my feelings so you would probrably never know.

But if you lie, cheat, or steal from me their sure to one day show.

I consider myself a passive woman...never lookin for a fight.

I was raised to use my words to stand up for what is right.


Details | ABC | |

Ketchup Stains (

There is a place that I will never eat at again
I look back at the nightmare when I was ten
Back then not much of a strong stomach to endure what I did
This horror I couldn't keep hid
First of all, you know that back then, when they used the fly tape
It was full of its intended guests and dangling  three inches from our plates
Some were buzzing and squirming to get free
The scene was already getting the best of me
Welcome to the eatery that leaves you emotionally drained
The name of it is Ketchup Stains
One paper napkin issued to you as you walk in the door
If your table is not ready, you sit on a dirt floor
Sometimes you see a bug or two
It is almost as if the bugs  are not afraid of you
Everyone shares the same utensils and paper plate
That is why with multiple orders, you take turns eating, while other family 
members wait
As you sit  impatiently suffering from hunger pains
The place is crowded,  with free bathroom admission at Ketchup Stains
You ask  the waitress to refill the glass for you daughter
You watch as she dips the glass in the Horse Trough to get the water
You ask the waitress where is the ice
She says when that table there is empty, you can have theirs, now won't that be 
I ask her why do we have to share, this is insane
She says, this is all part of our hospitality at Ketchup Stains
I tell her don't expect a tip for your service
She says give me a reason to modify your food and make you nervous
I tell her it's time we go, cancel the food
She asks where did I grow up and become so rude
We have a history of everyone leaving happy, no one complains
Ya'll come back soon, share a spoon and enjoy some family time at Ketchup 
By the time we left there, we had a car full of hate
It bothered us so much, that night, we took flight and moved to another state

Details | Lay | |

A Generational Curse

we tend to forget the time when we ourselves were very young
our own parents did not understand some of the things we had done
we had our own style of music, our own dances and points of view
we fail to see that It's a curse every generation seems to go through

In the 1950's, there was teeny boppers, convertibles cars plus rock-n-roll
the parents from the big band era thought their children were out of control
In the 1960's, there was war protesting, hippies and anti-establishment
the parents from the bebop era thought their children had lost all their sense
In the 1970's, there was the Motown sound, flower power and acid rock
the parents from the rock-n-roll era thought their kids were chips off the old block
In the 1980's there was after-work parties, glitter balls and disco fever
the parents from the hippie generation
would not be mistaken for Ward and June Cleaver
In the 1990's, they had rap music, punk rock and designer street clothes
the parents from the acid rock era were clueless in their parental roles
In the new millennium the year 2000 known as Y2K
It's gotten to the point where most parents seemed to have lost their way

Is the situation getting better or Is It getting worse?
Is It that change is a constant which causes a generational curse?
Is it the sins of the father from the very beginning
that have been revisited on each generation of children?

do you remember the words that every parent has said 
to their children since the beginning of mankind?
"may you one day have children who act just like you 
who will make you think your losing  your mind"

Details | Rhyme | |


You didn't go to fight World War II in Japan,
You didn't ever go to FAT CITY,
but smooched with a DOLLY
in my washed and waxed Chevy van!

Looking like a real DUCK-BUTT,
you have the looks of a clown, not a CAT...
staring at that long-legged PAPER-SHAKER!
Eat more cereal, ANKLE-BITER!

You didn't learn to drive and lead,
for a grown man that's a NOSE-BLEED!
You didn't go to those night BASHES...
never being attracted to fake eyelashes!

Put down the HORN you bought at the Country Fair;
don't answer back as you usually do...CUT-THE-GAS,
or AGITATE-THE GRAVEL with quick toes!

Details | Light Poetry | |

Curse of the single bed

Should your wife turn and say, you should get single beds
Take heed, this could be the thin end of the wedge
Not wishing to be that old prophet of doom
You could find, in a while, you will have your own room
Then after some time, your belov-ed spouse
Will insist you move on and find your own house
She’ll stay in the family home that you bought
She can keep all your money, they tell you in court
You will end up a pauper, a vagrant or worse
If ever you’re hit with the single bed curse

Details | Ballad | |

Warehouse 317

320 has a great bunch working there
They show a lot pride they really care
I personally don't consider any of this work, to me it's all fun
Sweat already pouring from the Warehouse heat and the morning sun
Daine and Nathaniel welcome to a great team
We cover one another on tasks in Warehouse 317
We have the mother of all mothers coming our way soon
Enough fun coming to make you wanna bark at the moon
I am looking forward to the thirty thousand guests 
So let's wipe the sweat from our brows and make it look effortless
Monique is going to miss out on this great adventure, Zena is now the one caught in between
Local Purchase stop pulling your hair out, what a great place called Warehouse 317
There is Hezakiah handling the turn ins
He has to be careful and watch the NSN's
Glen handles the Turretts and parts to the shops
Without Wonda and Michael, the production stops
Gabrielle is the Goddess of the Hazmat
Shipping is now on cruise control with Doug there, but we all wear so many different hats
Jerry is the main director of this sometimes circus scene
Under our wonderful big top at Warehouse 317
A manager is only as good as her or his people allow them to be
I am thankful for all who I work with and my extended family 
I love where I work and I am so happy to come there every day
All this fun and very good pay
DRMO is handled by Elsa and Fred
This is where all the useless parts are sent
The Carpenter Shop has Jason
That is where they do the packaging and craten'
Tom runs the show at Container Ops
David is in charge of the Turrett Shop
The mechanics have the vehicles coming in and going out at a tremendous rate
The Shop Clerks keep the ordering and parts requirements up to date
Vehicles to be shipped, Motor Pool is on the scene
But it all starts at my favorite place, Warehouse 317
I am sorry if I missed anyone such as Tammy at Safety, or Miss Lilly at PBO
Overall the operations are under the direction of Rick and Joe
The Front Office Personnel answer the phone
Without them, there would be nobody home
The shipboard stuff handled by Wholesale
Shop's parts handled by Retail
I personally want to thank everyone for all they do
This place could not do what it does without me or you
So I am not trying to be rude or mean
But I must end the saga now, come visit us at Warehouse 317

Details | Narrative | |

I'm Just What Your Looking For

since the year of 1952 the city of st paul Minnesota holds
their annual treasure hunt the king and queen of snows
goes out to a city park and hides a medallion worth
10,000 dollars if you are the winner and your carnaville
button is register with the st paul pioneer press
which gives out 12 cryptic clues and this little medallion
could be wrapped in just about anything from diapers to cookies 
and the frigid weather here just may make you want to just
stay by the fireplace and sip on hot coco with family and friends
even lucky finder gets to ride along with the king and queen of snow
in the closing ceremony of it's torchlight parade
also watch out for the vulcans krewe for they like to dethrone the king
and leave you with a black smudges across your sweet cheeks

Tribute To The Winter Carnaville

Carnaville runs
Jan 21-31 

Also Entry For
Carolyn Devonshire's
Christmas In Your Town Contest

Details | Rhyme | |

My Wondrous Sunshine Catching Machine

My Wondrous Sunshine Catching Machine
Gobbles rays of bright sunlight
Diskombobblebooblelates them
Just to use in darkest night

I am feeling pretty dumb
Eastern Standard Time has come
And it came as quite a shock
That I forgot to set my clock
I was always running late
But my machine would set me straight

I grabbed a bit of morning light
To dab it on the start of night
I tried to switch about one hour
But suddenly my plan went sour
It seems the switch was stuck on high
Now brightness fills the midnight sky

Bats now fly at 6 AM
Light of night is blinding them
Daylight dims as nightime passes
Owls are wearing dark sunglasses
Sunrise starts my evening prayers
I am having daynightmares
Dinner is a midnight snack
I'm now a nyctrophobiac
Coyotes howl at morning sun
What horrid change have I begun

No harm was meant to man or beast
But now my problems have increased
My machine has me outsmarted
I need to stop what I have started

My plan will have to wait til night
So there will be sufficient light
To flip the switch and make the climb
Out of Daylightsavings Time

Details | I do not know? | |

Isabel's Adventure

Isabel met a ravenous beast,
He looked so starved he could make her his feast.
From his golden mane to his powerful tail,
Isabel could tell that he was a male.
The lion said to Isabel in great delight,
"I will eat you up in just one bite."
Isabel, Isabel didn't worry,
Isabel didn't scream or scurry,
She slightly winked at the furocious cat,
And turned him into a furry mat.

Details | I do not know? | |

40+ Santa

Merry Christmas my siblings
Let's talk about happy stuff
family dysfunction and 
....... dysfunction
Let's sit around a nonexistant fire
Let's laugh and tell on each other
Let's try to be the better child
Let's argue and seek attention 
Let's act like we're completely wild
Let's make everyone uncomfortable
And that includes ourselves
I'm oldest so I'll be Santa
and you can be my elves

Details | Free verse | |

The Final Days

Love has been left behind
For that in swine to depend
Chosen vessels of barbed wire fences left outside
In sorted desolation the swirl of the wind
Grand illusion where lying isn't necessarily a sin
Now where do I need to begin?
Fenced in challenge to its proverbial structure
Hence the vast opened door in the matter
Exploration in its equated investigation
The final days are upon us,
Marked on a blotted page yet fully intact
Creatures in the night sullen teeh to fright
Fragmented skulls having blood drawn off side
Shallow response to run away & hide
The final days elapsed within a shoulder to cry despised
Where wrong is right in the darkness of night to fight;
Sweltering sculptures made of clay in the night to sway
Whatever happened to love & a happy day
A dessensitized culture filled with its vapor of death
Yet I must confess;
Strange as it may seem with its gloom & doom at the scene,
Sold out faith in the hearts of those saints who will resist the lie
The lie that says I am what I do in reply
Marked on its blotted page yet fully intact
Grown men who lie in wait to decieve with greed
No notion of saving grace in sight
Never relent in ever giving up on the fight!

Details | Light Poetry | |

I got a gal a very fine gal

I got a gal a very fine gal
She’s blonde and big and busty
I’m always there to show I care
Whenever she feels lusty

I got a gal a very fine gal
She’s got a lovely figure
Perfect size and perfect shape
Wouldn’t want her any bigger

I got a gal a very fine gal
She keeps things neat and tidy
All ready for the weekend
‘cause working stops on Friday 

I got a gal a very fine gal
She likes to give me pleasure
Feeds me food that’s fit for kings
My gal is such a treasure

I got a gal a very fine gal
But sadly I’m a leavin’
I found out just yesterday
My gal’s a bloke called Stephen

Details | I do not know? | |


She has the same laugh
and the same past
Does not see the masks i wear
protective nurturer that is my sister

She has the same frown crease 
to a lesser extent
Both strong minded
like two hurricanes meeting
but in the eye of the storm
stubborn angry unconditional love

She has the same star sign
but we posses different traits
i taught her songs silliness and swear words
She makes me proud

Often told "your so like linsey"
"No" I say with my familiar frown breaking into a matter of fact smile
"Shes just like me"
Im sure she has the same reply

Details | Free verse | |



the dancing machines
please stay away from everyone's knees
you very nasty


Please please please
stay away from especially
my knees you very nasty 
and honorable theives


so please fly off to those daisies
for these these these are the only way I want it to

{ bee's }

Little Song Jenny And I came Up When She Was 4 LOL 
Thanks All For Stopping

Also Entry For Matt Caliri's Contest
Funnest-hardest Poem Ever

Details | I do not know? | |

Oh Granny

Oh granny oh granny what shall we do
You’ve put bananas in your stew
A dirty lampshade you wear as a hat
And you’re talking to the old stuffed cat

Oh granny oh granny what shall we do
You can’t go out in a pink tutu
The Wellington boots and cycling shorts
Are not the things a granny sports

Oh granny oh granny what shall we do 
I’ve  grown so very fond of you
You’ve been here since I was a pup
Now I’m afraid they’ll lock you up

Oh granny oh granny what have you done
I know you think you’re having fun
But throwing eggs at a policeman, well!
You’re going to wind up in a cell 

Oh granny oh granny, alright ok
Looks like you’ve gone and got your way
Pack your bags, don’t make a fuss
You’re going to come and live with us

© John W Fenn  03-02-09

Details | Verse | |

Breeding A Man

People look and critique ME,
By everything my words and my MANNERISMS.
It’s kind of hard not to have MANNERISMS.
When, I was raised by, A MAN.

I guess because my father says, 
“I should be A MAN”,
I have only my father to teach me
What, I need to be TAUGHT.
The toys he BOUGHT
To be for a child, or a soon to be A MAN.


People wonder why I look like A MAN.
I talk like A MAN.
I walk like A MAN.
I dress like A MAN,
I also date the same sex as A MAN!


Why am I looked down UPON?
Because my father wanted to have a SON
But, treated my like the son he never HAD!
All I knew was DAD
Why didn’t I HAVE?
The same toys my friends HAVE!


Why couldn’t I grow up to be NORMAL?
Why do people look at me like I’m ABNORMAL?
I am as NORMAL,
As the next ABNORMAL
Child, growing up without a CHOICE.
I feel pain too, I also feel REMORSE!
But yet no one feels my REMORSE!
Maybe it is their CHOICE.


I didn’t buy anything that was BOUGHT!
I learned to fight as my father bred me to,
 	And to fight, as he had FOUGHT!
But it was my father gain and my LOST,

Yet I still don’t UNDERSTAND!

Why? Was I born a girl?
Yet I was BRED A MAN!

Details | Senryu | |

My Son's Enemy

Instigates trouble
Innocents bubbles within
My Daughter torments

Nathan Bane Leccese
© All Rights Reserved 05/20/2009

*My Son is 3 yrs. old and my Daughter is 2 yrs. old. I'm sure that will explain everything. :-)

Details | Rhyme | |

Summer Vacation

I've waited all year
to hear that bell ring.
When I finally hear it,
You know I will sing...
I want to do nothing
(but maybe lay in the sun.)
I want to hear crickets
and bees buzzing low.
I'll weed out my garden
and watch my plants grow.
If ever I've needed a summer to rest,
this would be the summer I needed it best.

Details | Acrostic | |


Any way, she makes my heart beat pure.
No one loves her like me I’m sure.
Nothing will make me act in this way,
Apart from this little one having all the say!
Believe when I tell you she is a pain.
Engulfed with “snot”, however this is her reign!
“Listen Dad!” (I have to, or she’ll drive me insane)!

Details | I do not know? | |

Pink Is O.K.

don't you just love 
the skin your in?
dimples on your cheeks 
when you smile and grin
light and darkness make beauty begin
blending  elegance and cuteness
from forehead to chin
your eyes
for the very first time i've seen
"The windows of the soul"
your hair 
I would prefer black or grey
but for now, i guess pink is O.K.
don't you just love the skin your in?
i do

Details | Free verse | |

The Way Susie Mae Used to Talk

Why dat gull crynin'?!  Hollin' like dat?!
She bleed'n uh som'in?!  No?!
Maybe she need soma' dat pank stuff, den?
You know!  Dat stuff!  Dat uhhh...   Dat uhhh...
Dat Bismorex!!  Yeah.  Dat Bismorex.  Hmmph!
Well, den, maybe huh flioncee left huh.
He pro'bly took dat rang back.  Heh, Heh.
You know him.  You know huh, too.
That ol' low down strumpet!
She be sleepin' wit ev'ry Tom, _ick and Harry in town.
Don't she?  Don't she?!  Don't she?!!
Fool, you know dat's right!
So sank me in Hell!  Shoot!
She sleep wit anythang that'll walk!
I'd leava' too.  Show would!  I wouldn't stay...
Well, den, if dat ain't it, I don't know what it is!
But I still wunda' wut dat gull crynin 'bout!
What?!  She jus' fakin' it again?!  Heh, heh, heh.
Child!  Dat's yo water dat's deep.
Heh, heh, heh.  Dat's yo water dat's deep.

My mother told me this story.

Details | I do not know? | |

Jack 49

Everyone will turn older
And your up to bat
Bases are all loaded
As the crowd roars Jack
3 balls, 2 strikes 
and 49 on his back
Final game, final inning
And still down by two
The coach gives the signal,
You know what to do
Oh great, should he walk,
with a run guaranteed
He turns to the bench,
And what does he see
A trio of 30, 40, and a 60 
Then he mumbles out loud,
no help from those three
The 30’s a rookie, 
still wet behind the ears
The 40 hasn’t changed,
since his teenager years
The 60 has claimed,
she’s  Queen of the hill-
Permanently perched at 45
throughout her golden years
So, it’s all up to him,
He must save the day-
The heck with 50 he says,
it’ll be a grand slam today !

Details | Rhyme | |

Richard's Game Show

For an animal spelled with three letters, somebody said “frog”. Why didn’t he think with an answer such as “cat” or “dog”? Another family member answered the same question a little later. His response unbelievably was the long word “alligator”. The same contestant had to name something in a summer storm. His strange reply of “snow” was a little out of the norm. The family needed two hundred points to win the grand prize. Their total was nowhere near that which was no surprise. Mr. Dawson, how did they get such dumb families on the show? Is that what you called entertainment? I would really like to know.

Details | Rhyme | |


I’m a control freak, for this much I know,
I hate to admit, but I can’t let go.
For I must face it, there’s no turning back,
But then who’s counting, or who’s keeping track?

My friends always know, that I’ll drive my car,
Even when traveling, not really that far.
I won’t fly on planes; no it’s not the fare,
They will not give me, that darn pilot’s chair.

I feel the need, to always protect,
Bad things can happen, so let’s not forget.
Kids think they know all, and safe they will be,
But what if high winds, take down someone’s tree?

Going on field trips, they won’t make a fuss,
My kids don’t want me, to ride on their bus.
“Bus drivers are good, and go somewhat slow”,
They will assure me, so I will not go.

When they start driving, I’m nothing but nerves,
“Make sure you go slow, especially round curves”.
“Where are you going to, and coming back home?”
“Don’t text while you drive, or talk on your phone.”

“Alright mom” they say, while walking away,
“We sure do love you, we will be okay.”
I worry until, in the door they come,
I ask them calmly, “Did you both have fun?”

I know when they’re gone, I cannot patrol,
It is very hard, giving up control.
When they grow older, a family they start,
They too will control, it comes from the heart.

Details | Senryu | |

' In Like ... ' 38th Senryu

   Took Liberties, Son
Lassitude, ‘Cause Liaisons
 Are Just, Lust-Lonesome

Details | Rhyme | |

Time To Get Up

Tick tock tick tock
Out window with that clock
Each and every frigging day
Tells me to get out of hay

Brushing teeth
Breath smelling so sweet
Another dam hole in sock
Oh how I hate that clock

Blue jean entire
God I'm really tired
Clean sand bugers out of eyes
In rush to say goodbye's

Gas light engine on again
This crisis is such a sin
Scrounging pockets for a buck
Pulling out lint what such luck

Morning greetings from the boss
When all I wanted to do was stay in bed and toss
Paper work piling up
No coffee to fill my cup

Tic tock tick tock
Come on hurry up dam clock
For shopping still has to be done
And let me tell you it's no fun

Kids husband dogs and cats
Drive me nuts like a pack of rats
What can one do
But not to come unglued

So I want to give a big thanks
To my alarm clock that doesn't play pranks
And gets me up and out that door
So I can pay for those things I truely adore

Details | I do not know? | |

Very hairy lady

(This is a fictional poem)

I married a very hairy lady when I got drunk on scotch.
I nearly died of a heart attack when I learned that I married a sasquatch.
When we kiss, I get a mouthful of hair.
It's like making love to Chewbacca and it's not fair.
She hasn't bathed in months and she smells like piss.
It's too much to take, I can't stand this.
When I think about what our kids will look like, it makes me worry.
Does anyone know a good lawyer? I want to get a divorce in a hurry.

Details | Quatrain | |


When he was just a baby
Upon his mama's knee,
He was smaller than an elephant,
And larger than a flea.

And when he was some older,
And had to go to school,
He was duller than a genius,
And sharper than a fool.

Then, when he was a young man,
In the prime years of his life,
He was younger than his mother was,
And older than his wife.

Now that he is middle aged,
He's really very glad
To be older than his grown-up son,
And younger than his dad.

Details | Rhyme | |


Up and down the highway,what a life to lead.
But to often that is what happens when bills follow greed.
So we have most of what we want,
Now to pay for it,up and down the road I jaunt.
Going here and there,back and forth along the way.
Over hill and through the dale,what a long freaking day.
Now the things that I wanted,I leave all alone.
I can't really use them,I am never freaking home.
So why did I buy them,A brain tease I guess,
All they did for me was put me in a financial mess.

Details | I do not know? | |


He stood upon the parapet
Tittering on the ledge
Giggling to himself 
And shuffling closer to the edge

For seven storeys down below
His wife and lover stood
He knew what they were up to
And it surely wasn’t good

Chuckling to himself, and 
Moving slowly to the verge
The anger burning deeply, and
It fired a deadly urge

Laughing like a loony
Leaping headlong from his roost
Madly flapping arms to give 
His fall an added boost

“Your smiling now you rotten cow
You won’t find this so funny
I’d rather die than let you try
To get hold of my money”

Half way down toward the ground
His progress slowly halted
That crazy grin turned awful thin
He thought his plan was thwarted

His braces caught the flag pole
And it hindered his descent
He hovered for a moment
And then flying up he went

Bouncing up and bouncing down
Till finally it stopped
He smiled a rueful smile, and then
His trouser buttons popped

Continuing his journey
As he hurtled earthward bound
His wife and lover sidestepped
And he crashed into the ground

Laughing like a drain he seemed
To find it awfully funny
Though nearly dead he turned and said
“I really missed you honey”

Details | Light Poetry | |

Pew Wee

Best day

   I'll Say

Was When

   Seen Him

Wipe Ass

   With Mask

I laughed

  Such Craft






I'm Done

  No  Fun

Details | Quatrain | |

Old Age??

My age is getting up there
middle age is knocking on my door
They say I shouldn't worry...
I'm only thirty four.

I'm noticing the wrinkles.
I sense that double chin
is creeping right up on me.
Fight gravity?? I can't win!

I use to feel so youthful.
I thought I'd never age.
Back then I planted flowers.
Today I'm growing sage.

Sometimes I forget my own age.
It's not that I contrive.
Like when I wrote my bio here

Is that a sign of old-age?

Details | Free verse | |

Broken Promises

The spirit of the age has tempered vile degrade
In desolation it's will torn wild
We send vomit into letters exposed to loosened fetters
Erupted in mass chaos in its plausible quest
The more we want so the more we in turn invest
We wait in idol fancy as some lost souls in Sid & Nancy
We hurt then tie the tube getting loose lube filled with screws
We plummage into a violent existance isn't it relevant?
We think were alone yet we never are cause God is still in charge
In social regard toward difficult matters that appease
We lose sight of love & social need
In foot steps drawn in the sand someday we may learn & understand
In columns of rescued menure pile in its claim
The world outside is totally insane
A casual encounter with a so called friend?
The next day you got Aids, now you got pain!
The choices we make to appease the mind
In columns of choiced red, blue & brown....

Broken promises through its shattered glass filled with pain
Broken promises  can easily drive a man insane
A court jester will amuse the crowd as long as there is an occasion
Perhaps society is in need of a break on a long awaited vacation?
Closed minded sentiments filled in vile affection
The novice gets hungry stops at his local 7 eleven
Promises made in the dark have come full circle into the light
Broken Promises with advant garde choices made in the night
Elaborate decorum in want of passage;
We last a minute & grieve as the savage!

Details | Senryu | |

Night Buzz

Night Buzz
Loquacious wife snores,
His mind’s reprieve, time to rest;
Silent time to think.

Details | Free verse | |

Pistol Princess

Only 4 years old and if looks could kill
Definetly different with a will of steel
Butting heads and not getting along
Sworn enemies in a little girls world
Better than Barbies
Claws out like cats
Battleground and  Playgrounds
Strong willed and hardheaded
Little Princess is a pistol,
And she’s about to go off
Little Princess is a pistol 
And she’s about to go off
Screeching like a banshee
Firecracker blowing her top
My way or the highway 
Little Princess is a pistol,
And she’s about to go off

Details | Clerihew | |

Too Many Rambles

Too Many Rambles

Tiger Woods
Seems to have spread his “goods.”
His life is now in shambles.
From his extra-curricular rambles.

© Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
January 22, 2010

Poetic form: Clerihew

Details | Light Poetry | |


Sorry if I came here illegally

My country lacked opportunity

So this is how it had to be

Never took anything from you

Paid my taxes just like you

Society let the color of my skin in

But shamed my people and culture

I chased the American dream

As Americans wanted all my people to leave

I adapted to your culture

Your way of life

What more can I do

To say that I truly appreciate the red,white and blue

Thank you for reading. Visit for more poems and writings that I have written.

Details | Free verse | |

Aunt Della's Dumplings

Please don’t think I mean any disrespect.
I mean this only in the nicest way.
Della was a funny person.
I’ll love and remember ‘til my dying day.
From the hips up she was a size sixteen
From the hips down a ten.

She had a laughing voice,
a musical tone
and said funny things.
It just flowed naturally, like she
was always in a zone.
Everyone loved Della and...
Her dumplings!!

At the gatherings she would bring the 
biggest pot imaginable. 
Filled to the brim with 
steaming, heavenly, chicken and dumplings.
The aroma infused every thing around.
Light and tasty,
the best I have ever found.

I was a married man before braving
my first pot of dumplings.
What a mess.
At least I started small.
I definitely had not found my call.
Even tho I did my best, 
it was not good enough.

At first they would be too dry.
If wet enough they were too thick.
If thin enough they didn’t have any taste.
Lord what a waste.  
Of time and good chicken.

I think I got my first passable lot 
about the age of fifty.
How much flour and chicken 
I had ruined
was a thing of which 
Ripley would be proud.

That first pot of tasty, hand rolled 
essence of success
was so nifty
I wanted to just sniff and gloat.
And wait til someone said,
Those dumpling are as good as Della’s. 

© Apr 04 2010 

Details | Free verse | |

Building Obsessed

How your hand caressed a building,
like it was your shapely lover.
How wet tears in your eyes collected 
and dropped like raindrops
at the demise of the Twin Towers,
not for the people inside but for
the noble structures themselves.
When we looked at your developed
pictures together almost all of them
would be of buildings, hardly any had
people in them at all.
Morning, noon and night
that's all you had on your mind
and in your sight was buildings.
You were obsessed!

Details | Kimo | |

New Year Money

Pots full of collard greens and blackeyed peas
Are surely Superstition's
Tastiest traditions.

Details | Quatrain | |


                                                  SMOKEY AND ME

Smokey was a funny cat,
Filled with fun and love;
Adventurous as all cats are,
And Master of the Hunt.

He stalked the house in search of that,
Which posed some kind of threat,
A bug, a mouse, a ball of yarn,
No pest escaped his net,

That he had formed around our house,
He took responsibility,
To protect us from it all,
Because we were his family.

From babyhood he was my ken,
He always slept with me,
We played for hours in the yard,
Beneath the old Oak tree.

We climbed my swing set, climbed the tree,
Played in my sand box too,
Imagine my surprise to find,
He used it for a loo.

Kitty cat and little girl,
Fought jungle wars, climbed trees,
And then we sailed the Seven Seas,
Buccaneers were we.

We'd hide behind the sofa,
The curtains or in the hall,
And wait in ambush for our prey,
We really had a ball.

My sister's boyfriend happened by,
One night as we were hiding,
I yelled,"Chaarge!" and Smokey leaped,
The boy knocked off the siding,

On the book case in the hall,
As Smokey climbed his leg,
And we were sent to bed that night,
'thout supper though I begged.

Incarcerated pirates we,
The game continued on,
We'd wait until they were asleep,
Then eat til it was gone.

Then we'd escape into the night,
With valuables they cherished,
We'd be away by early light,
Leaving the guard embarrassed.

                                                    Judy Ball

Details | I do not know? | |

The Poopy Face

I am having a wonderful day,
I love to laugh, I love to play,
The only thing I need to be happy would be,
My bottle, my teddy, and my pacifier you’ll see.

I just woke from a nice long nap,
I jump around the room, dance and clap,
My tummy is full from lunch and such,
I love to snack, I eat too much.

A rumble in my tummy has stopped my fun,
Starting to frown, my diaper comes undone,
Squinting my eyes, bending my knees,
I push until the problem springs free.

My tummy feels better but this I know,
A smells is following me now wherever I go,
My clean dry diaper is now warm and squishy,
And there’s something mushy on my tushy.

I am starting to get very nervous,
Do I have to cry louder to get faster service?
New diaper scented wipe then,
Clean drawers would make be happy again.

Details | Narrative | |


Getting into the Christmas spirit,
by examining my introspection
and making new plans for the future;
and sparking up your imagination...
could anyone imagine me dressed
as Santa Claus, who never has the minimal time
to watch a log consumed by a crackling fire?
Think again, I could be that Saint Nicholas so bold! 

Prejudice is not a part of this Christmas Season,
all kinds of people, of different ages and races, 
celebrate it; and it may vary from country to country
with traditions as far as Saturnalia or Yuletide...
that was a time when pagans started this festivity,
and with the birth of Jesus, the Christians
adopted these traditions as their own...
so should we object and put them aside?    

Getting into the Christmas spirit,
unpacking decorations for my new Christmas Tree, 
from boxes that waited too long for this day of joy;
and even my toddler, Jack, comes downstairs tripping,
handing me Grandma's favorite star, which
she had hidden away into a treasure chest so jealously,
to place on the top of this forest-scented pine tree...
when we all gather and sing," Silent Night."  

Getting into the Christmas spirit, 
adding, not taking away names from my long list;
and even though these are tough economic times,
I plan to be generous to all without feeling the pinch!
Give the very best of your intentions,
either in gift or in warmest embrace;
give and be content to catch that infant's smile in the distance; 
the tender smile of the Holiest Child, who will give of Himself!  

Copyright 2009 by Andrew Crisci

Details | Rhyme | |

Family Boat Fun

We bought us a boat,
To have some family fun.
Out in the water we put it to float,
We're going to enjoy the sun.

Sitting on the dock,
The kids and I awaiting to get in.
Looking around at the water and rock,
Anticipating the adventure to begin.

But to our suprise,
What was to happen first.
The sound of a heart-broken sigh,
As the key broke and Jerry cursed.

He tries for an hour,
To get the engine to start again.
Things keep going sour,
As we have not left where we started to begin.
Fish are swimming by,
Almost laughing out loud.
As our boat makes an ear-piercing screaching cry,
This makes us all so proud.

As this embarassment is not enough,
We finally decide to give up.
Back on the trailor is where we decide the boat should be,
But oh no, this simple task couldn't go easy.

Patience of all are worn with things going so rough,
So another Mt. Dew we begin to sup.
Then upon the trailor hitch Jerry we do see,
But not for long, because it was way to greasy.

With a giant splash,
Into the water he went.
As quick as a flash,
He came out and was really bent.

When to our suprise out of the water he come,
With a fish in his shirt.
The laughter was as loud as a bass drum,
At how Jerry caught a fish and didn't get hurt.

Details | Burlesque | |

Dual Controls, Electric Blanket From Hell, Part 2

He was cold, and, suffering bad...
She was far too hot,
A cooling breeze...
She wished that she had...
So he turned up his temp,
And her's, she turned down,
And it's more than hard to believe,
Just how fast one can be turned,
Into a sad clown...

Further up, he turned,
His heat control number,
did he dial...
While she turned down,
On her's, praying for,
Relief, all the sweat soaked while...

But he just got colder,
While she started to roast...

But he just got colder,
While she started to roast,
It was fast becoming unbearable,
My dear aunt very near,
Turned to burnt toast...
And my favorite uncle...
Now near frozen solid...
In frozen fear he did clutch...
His oaken bed post,
Which, oddly, now seemed quite warm...
And this was, for sure, 
Never before the norm...

Now was the time,
For drastic action,
Each turned their temp dials
Up or down to the max...
Would'a been much more easy,
For each to learn, in a mere hour,
Just how to play jazz sax...

Now each was quite desperate,
And anguished beyond belief,
Burning and freezing,
There seemed no relief...
Who sold them this defective blanket?
Just who was that nasty thief??

Almost as if well practiced,
and seemingly on cue,
Each jumped out of their,
Respective  torture device,
Seemed all they could do,
Ready now to call an electrician,
Or psychic, for some sorely needed advice...

Next day, when their bedroom door,
They did finally unlock...
To finally check on inside,
Expecting some horrific shock,
Like the bed partly frozen,,
And part melted away...
Knowing that, if such should be,
They would have not a clue,
On just what to say...

The electrician soon did come than...
A $160 call...
For a 2 minute peek...
And even that was half stall...
One thing you could count true,
He was pissing off us all...

He explained to them...
The problem, he did diagnose,
It wasn't evil spirits...
It was not a ghost...

See each had,
their wires crossed,
The dual control temp dials,
Oh, brother!!!
And they had only controlled...
The temperature of the other!!......."

Details | Light Poetry | |

' The Dance ... ' (Part 2 of 2)

‘ The  Dance … ’

Oh … How I Love To Dance
Why … Do I Love To Dance ? …
Its Rhythmic … Its Ritual
… The Body is So Beautiful ! …

Once … I Saw The Ocean Groove
… That’s The Way, I Want to Move
Earth-Spinning, Round and Round
Don’t You Know … We All Get Down ?

Don’t You Know, What The Good-Book Says
‘God’ … Moves in Mysterious Ways
That Is Why I Love To Dance …
… His Empire, Moves In Elegance !

Lord, Have Mercy, Keep Moving Me
Moving and Grooving, to Your Glory !
Blood-Flowing, Lung – Breathe
‘ The Spirit ‘, is Zooming … You Better Believe !

( Just Look At It Move ‘His’ Girl, MoonBee !_

Acrobat, Hip-Hop, Ballet
Art of Tap, Polka, Reggae’
You Can Do It !… I Know You Can
Just Listen, To That Bible – Band ! …

Music … Just Adds Motivation
Stirs A Soul To Celebration
Dancing … is A Declaration
We’re On Cruise-Control, In His Creation !

Dancing … Can Be A Holy Act
God, and His Son … Like It, Like That
So, Nod Your Head … Do The Wave
Signal ! … You Want To Be Saved !

Don’t Be Shy … At Situation
Meet Me At ‘ The Revelation’
They’re Opening Up, The Garden – Gate
… Hurry Now … Don’t Be Late !

Cherubs, gonna’ Let Us In
No Cover Charge … Bring A Friend
Oh ‘Son of God’ … Please Partner Me
… Dance Me To Eternity !

Oh, How I Love To Dance
It’s A Rhythm – Romance
Passion – Performance
Yes Lord … I Love To Dance

Dance! … into Eternity
Dance! … Better Than A Fantasy
Dance! … Universal Dance Floor
Dance! … Don’t You Wanna’ Dance Some More ?

Dance ! … Now, Can’t You See ? …
Dance ! … We Gon’   P a r t y !
Dance With This Girl, thru The Galaxy
Dance With The Stars and The Only MoonBee

Boys Shout ! … ‘Bring On The Dancing Girls !’
God’s Making A Wonder World
Them … Us … You … and Me …
Still Moving … To His Mystery !

           Now Dance ….

Details | Light Poetry | |

' The Art Of Dancing ... ' (Part 1 of 2)

‘ The  Art  Of  Dancing… ’

Oh ! … How I Love To Dance
Why… Do I Love To Dance ? …
… it’s Rhythmic … it’s Ritual
The Body Is So Beautiful !

Oh ! … How I Love To Dance
Why … Do I Love To Dance ? …
If You’re Breathing – You Ain’t Still
Check Your Heartbeat and It Will …

Dance … Into A Fantasy
Virtual Reality
Dancing Makes Me Feel So Free
… Come and Do A Dance With Me

Dancing … is Good Exercise
Dancing … Adds A Spice to Life
Dancing … is A Natural High
You Can Do It … If You Try …

… Head, Shoulders, Legs, Feet
Get ‘em Moving to The Beat
Back, Arms, Hands, Hips
Shake, Stomp, Slide, Slip

Bend, Bop, Break, Bounce
Push, Pull, Prance, Pounce
Soul-Roll, Slow, Fast
Jump, Jiggle … All That Jazz !

Dancing … is A Form of Joy
Do It ! … Baby Girl and Boy
Keep The Music, Playing Please
Honey … Just Look At Your Knee !

When I Dance … I Come Alive !
Waltz, Cha-Cha, Swing, Jive
Circle, Square, Line, Freestyle
Tango, or Step – Side to Side

Innocent – Interaction
Expression – Satisfaction
Set-it-in Motion … You and I
… Aaw, Just Look At That Guy

Oh ! … I See You’re Moving Now !
… thought You Didn’t Know How ?
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! … He! He! He! …
You Dance ‘bout as Good as Me ! …

Supper-Club, or in My Room
At Your House … or Under The Moon
If I Hear A Real-Good Tune …
You Will Know, I’m Dancing Soon

… Dance … Into A Fantasy
         Virtual Reality
Dancing Makes Me Feel So Free
… Come Dancing Now … With The MoonBee

Posted for:  Jared Pickett, ‘Cause I Know
       He Loves To Dance… (Smile)


Details | Limerick | |

Party Boy

	 	                     This is my stick person, Joe.
		             He looks really funny.
		            He has a small nose he has no toes.
	  	         He has a small dog named bunny.
		         He has no job and he has no life.
	              	I feel sorry for him because he has an imaginary wife.
                                                     He was at the top of his job until he got fired.
                                                         Now he’s a party boy and he can’t get hired.


Details | Rhyme | |

To Julie

To Julie 
Every morning when you wake up we all hear you say,
“Is Gram up Yet?”
Can I come visit Please? I’m all dressed and I’m all set.
“What are we to do today Pam?” you always seem to ask.
Can we draw, can we paint, or do just any old task.
Tell me what to do Pam, tell me what to play, tell me what to do on this brand 
new day. 
When you walk through the door,
The sunshine follows you inside.
The smile on your face makes you wishes
Mine to abide.
You talk to your gram and bring light into her heart.
But when you are angry, you are such a little tart.
Your anger doesn’t last long thank God I must say!
Your hearts just to big to have such a bad day.
Sometimes you tire me out till I just want to drop, but
A day without you makes my heart want to stop.
Julie you are one of Gods little lights, sent down from heaven to keep our hearts.
in flight.
A five year old girl who knows just what to say, when someone is lonely in a sad 
kind of way. 
I love you dear little one, more every day. 

Details | Rhyme | |

I'll Take a Mess of Fried Possum Innards

I’ll Take a Mess of Fried Possum Innards 

By Elton Camp

The mountain family made its annual trip to town
It was with their horse and wagon they got around
Sometimes it sort of got them into an awkward tight
Since not a one of them had learned to read or write

They were drawn to McDonald’s by its good smell
What they could buy there they had no way to tell
Jake said, “I’ll just ask fer a big pot of turnip greens.
They should most shorely know just what I mean.”

But that request the server met with a blank stare
The family decided that they didn’t serve it there
“Then I’ll have some sow belly with pinto beans.
After all, that’s jest about as good as turnip greens.”

“Sir, all that we have to sell is listed on the menu.
To order from that is what I suggest that you do.”
Jake didn’t want to admit he couldn’t read a word
And was glad when his younger brother he heard

“Jake, some fried chitlings sound good to me.
Why not order that and we’ll see how it be.”
Finally, in frustration, the family drove away
Hoping to find another place to eat that day

Details | I do not know? | |

Watching Tv

You want to go out on your own for a beer
Catch up with a friend you’ve not seen for a year
Hear all the news about who’s doing what
How much they earn, and the things they have got
But your wife says now honey, stay home with me?
So you sit and stagnate as you watch the TV

The big games tomorrow you’ve tickets for two
You ask her to go, but there’s so much to do
The fence it needs painting, there’s stuff to repair
The car and the mower the tread on the stair
When the chores are all done and you’ve time that is free
You sit down, and you watch, the big game, on TV

Its spring time its warm and how the sap rises
Your looking for love but there’ll be few surprises
She knows what you mean when you say time for bed
And will promptly announce she’s got pains in the head
So you fix up a sandwich, a nice cup of tea
Then sit there and fester and watch the TV

Let’s go to the lake we can hire a canoe
“I’m sorry I can’t I’ve got ironing to do”
We can take a nice picnic and go to the coast
“There’s no time for that, not with chicken to roast
So go off and do what you do when your free
Just leave me alone, go and watch the TV

Details | Bio | |

My Bio

My name is Mr. Moore,
And I’m 5’2”.
If you’re a young a black male,
I care about you.
I am the father of two daughters,
And the husband of one.
I believe in running,
Until the race is done.
I appreciate music,
I appreciate it much.
I am a drummer,
With a distinct touch.
I enjoy the sound of a saxophone,
And if you mention Jesus Christ,
I play both drums,
And sax by ear.
I can play the rhythmic notes,
If they are near.
I like counting money,
Because I’m crazy about math.
I have a little "hooping" skills,
So don’t get in my path.
I had coached for five years,
Being champs of the final three.
Was put out at the buzzer,
The first two were defeats.
I had been with “The Academy”,
For eight years now.
“Tricks of the Trade”,
Was about showing young men how.
I am unique,
And like a little rhythm.
That is why I wrote,
“My Bio” to be a poem.

Details | Acrostic | |


Little by little befuddled
Overwhelmed; off track or muddled
Scatterbrained; astray and puzzled
Tapped out; tore up or bumfuzzled

Details | Couplet | |

Grandma's Rhyme Regarding Money

If it don’t make dollars, it don’t make sense,
Because ain’t nothing going on but the rent.

Details | Light Poetry | |


Me granny’s gone missing
We’ve lost the old trout
I’ve warned her so often
That when she goes out
Take a map and a compass
A whistle as well 
A torch or a trumpet
A bicycle bell
Just something that’s noisy 
To help in our quest
A bleeper a buzzer
A fluorescent vest
Oh granny where are you 
Oh where can you be
You know you’ll get mad 
If your late for your tea
We’ve all been out looking 
Both near and afar
Mum on her bike 
And me in the car
We’re all worried witless
And scratching our head
When we find the old dear
Fast asleep, in her bed

©  John W Fenn  20-09-2009

Details | I do not know? | |

Children With Pets

Just love sharing this ice cream cone
Licking the opposite side from you
Brings joy to my heart just like a bone
Glad that you begged with a boo-hoo

Happiness comes to my mind it's true
When I think of playing with you
Wearing the pink bucket on my head
Even though I am a male Bulldog instead

This pink bucket makes me smile
Because you my mistress are filled with joy
When we play a game that's for a child
And a girl game and girl's toy

How excited I get when you get the leash
For that means we'll be walking down the street
My three year old mistress dressed in tie-die
Leggins and very frilly sandals

Maybe no one will notice that I'm a male
Hope that I don't have to use the fire hydrant

(Little three year old girl who has a male standard size boxer or bulldog as he pet and 
companion. As seen through the dogs eyes.)

Details | I do not know? | |

My stupid nephew

(This is a fictional poem)

My nephew is as stupid as he can be.
I asked him to make me some pea soup and he made it out of pee.
When I told him about the Greek formula for Pie, he thought I was talking about 
While he worked at a CD store, a lady asked for KISS and he kissed her in front 
of her husband and my nephew got hurt.
When a customer asked for Ice T, he told him that they didn't have what he wants.
He told him if he wants ice tea, to go to a restaurant.
When the boss found out about this, he got pretty sore.
He kicked my nephew's ### and he doesn't work there anymore.
My sister told him to get her some C batteries and he tried to find some batteries 
in the sea.
This poor boy has the IQ of a tree.

Details | Free verse | |

Laughter In The Halls

I heard a sound so distinct it rang in my ears for hours,
Yet writing it down and expressing the sound make take to long,
So instead I'll summerize the great suprize, as walking in the hall,
Walking slowly silence was peaceful, the halls in our house were happy,
Looking up at all our pictures and our beautiful family.
Four children smiling for the camera, I saw their face so nicely,
When all at once I heard it , that sound that came from the hall.
Stunning and shocking, expressively loud!!! Who could make that sound?
Giggling and scrampering, running quickly around, feet were shifting,
Sometimes jumping and lots of bumping and laughing in the hall!
Laughing they were! About something unheard, 
Just something is what they said, and then off they went to bed.

Details | Rhyme | |


Donuts are my favorite food, 
They come in many kinds,
I think they are the greatest creation,
Ever made by mankind.
They're made in many flavors,
And some have sprinkles too,
But when choosing your favorite donut,
The decision is up to you.
Donuts are delectable and they're also really tempting,
After having a problem of any sort,
They can really be quite exempting.
As you can see donuts are a real help in life,
They're also the perfect present,
One to give your wife.

Details | Ballad | |

Beer Money, Wine Taste

If you could read my mind you'd know that I'd never talk
And if I could stretch a mile you'd know that I'd never walk
But I've got to get up to go to work to my nine to five
To keep the pace in this rat race I have to survive
But this minimum wage pay will never help me out Lord
So I need more cause I want more than I can afford

Cause all my friends are driving Benz's and wearing expensive clothes
With bigger houses and finer foods so this is my status in quo

I've got beer money, I've got wine taste
Can you see it in my eyes, its written on my face
Give me this, give me that and I don't want to wait
But I've got beer money, I've got wine taste
And uh~ beer money, and uh~ wine taste
Always make me wanna haste but that leads to waste
So I'm praying for some patience and little more grace
With my~ beer money and my~ wine taste         (Chorus)

But my money and my patience's short, the line is long 
And when things start looking right in life what's left is wrong
I need extra strength this and I need fast relief that
Someone call western union hurry cause I need some cash
To pay my debts and all my bills, I'm planning to buy a lot
Because I'm always wanting something that I just don't got

Cause all my friends are driving Benz's and wearing expensive clothes
With bigger houses and finer foods so this is my status in quo

I've got beer money, I've got wine taste
Can you see it in my eyes, its written on my face
Give me this, give me that and I don't want to wait
But I've got beer money, I've got wine taste
And uh~ beer money, and uh~ wine taste
Always make me wanna haste but that leads to waste
So I'm praying for some patience and little more grace
With my~ beer money and my~ wine taste         (Chorus)

I need designer hats and jeans,
A limousine on the scene
To keep up with the Jones;
I need some precious stones.
I want to be in the spotlight
In restaurants day and night
With the means to these ends nonstop;
I wanna be filthy rich so I can shop.


Details | Acrostic | |


Most women on Easter Sunday 
Morning wear festive and elegant
Bonnets to match their bright
Dresses; men wear lighter, sharp
Suits with cheery feeling, not the
Usual dark ones that are so
Depressing and their neckties must be 
Perfect! Coming out of the church in
Throngs, they seem brides and grooms 
Again...chatting and smiling at one 
Another, knowing that He was,
Risen and gone to Heaven to 
Prepare a place for them and their
Children...shouldn't they rejoice   
Today? And sitting at an exquisite 
Table they say Grace, while Easter  
Eggs and bunnies tempt them with their 
Lively colors and sweet smell! Even the 
Dogs and cats hide underneath the table for
An unforgettable, delicious dessert!

Entered in Brian Strand's Contest, "An Easter Picture"

Details | Rhyme | |

Piss and Vinegar

Your full of piss and vinegar
My dad used to say
I don't want to smell like pee
To my mother I'd cry my way

Since I wouldn't use the toilet
The pee turned to vinegar over time
This is how my dad potty trained me
It still works on grandchildren of mine

Details | Free verse | |


The perfect dessert for me.
For it has the perfect texture , so consistent throughout.
It's gelatinous yet doughy body that is so sweet to the soul , tongue and mouth.
So beautiful and understating  just like the  perfect spouse.
But Pardon my manners If sometimes I wish to touch you with my hands and skip even using the spoon or  fork.
Skip from I got to wait till you're done, to I can't wait to have some  more.
Have had memories of you and I since back when grandmamma wasn’t so old,
and all I had to do was worry about what my abuelitos and parents told me.
When I finally saw you , suga it was like a dream come true.
Even if I was heavier than I should’ve been at 8 ,I would always take care of you.
And please listen to what I say because it’s only natural that as a former fat boy my words would also carry much weight.
There are so many types of you.
 I've had the worst and the one's in between worse and in between.
But I've matured enough to expand my sense of taste and have acquired more than one sweet tooth.
But to only find out they don't even compare to you.

With your culinary curves it's almost as If I dishonored you with my failed homemade homages.
But can you blame my senses if I feel cozy around you?
Even though my comfort is  only due to your confection,
you will always have my attention due to the enjoyment I feel in your presence,
For that I'' always say please and thank you.
With that cherry on top I just can't wait.
And I’ll see you, I’ll be picking you up at my abuelitas at eight.
I'll my bring my taste buds and you bring yourself.
But don't you worry about left over crumbs,
because I always clean my plate.

Details | Free verse | |


She rolls her eyes a whole lot
And finally, not at me!
She pulls me over to her side
Gently fools me with her disguise

Like to child
In childlike-needs of consolation-
Like my beloved-grandmother
Still, with a stern-affirmation,
bumps a kiss over my head
then, sings my song
as she slowly lays me to bed!

Details | Light Poetry | |

Got Turkey

    Let's See


               Get Stuffed
                    That's Rough

                               The Squirts

                                         Hell Zone
                                                Pure Heart
                                                      Boiled Tart

                                                          Legs   Breast
                                                                Just   Test
                                                                    Thighs Wing
                                                                          Just Sing
                                                                                   Choke Neck
                                                                                          Yes Heck
                                                                                                 Got Tom
                                                                                                      He's Bomb

Tribute To
 And To

Also Entry For
Donna Golden's
Turkey Tribute
GL All

Details | Rhyme | |


Hide and seek should be a simple game
With no-one hurt and no-one to blame

But you haven't seen it played by my brother and me
It truly is an event to see

I hid in a suitcase once when we played
My brother found me but in the suitcase I stayed

Down the stairs I was thrown
When the suitcase was opened I could only groan

I had two lumps on my forehead
"I walked into a door" is what I said

Details | Free verse | |

Green and Scream

Hand me the sugar.
Don’t forget the chocolate chips!
Oh, and the prank!
The worms!
The worms!
For an added crunch.
Now hurry,
Go cook the bunch.
We need those done,
Before lunch,
To watch daddy turn green,
And mommy to scream!
Shh…. Here they come to eat!
There they go,
Grab the cookies.
What’s this?
No green?
Not even a scream?
Nothing a’tall?
Darn, we were caught by Aunt Charell.
She switched the batch,
But it was such a good catch……

Details | I do not know? | |

The worlds greatest invention

I’ve got a great invention
I use it all the time
It does the things that I should do
It always works just fine

It cleans my room it tidies up
And puts my stuff away
Does chores I don’t have time to do
So I can go and play

I never have to worry
If I run a little late
I find my meals are cooked for me
And ready on a plate

It doesn’t  need much maintenance
To make it sweetly hum
Just a little oiling, 
With the words “I love you mum”

© John W Fenn  14-02-2009

Details | I do not know? | |

Holiday Shopping

Shop Shop Shop I have had enough.
Going from store to store is mighty tuff.
Getting through town is really ruff.
People is a pushing, shoving, and  being gruff.
Some people have happy faces thats all fluffed up.
Others have sour faces thats all puffed up.
Look I see a shop lifter all cuffed up.
One child wants a stuffed animal.
The other one wants a set of ear muffs.
Making decisions is extremely tough.
All the stores is being guff.
hmm....the fake Santa Claus slough his beard to the side.
Take my advice an shop early enough.
Don't wait till the last minute.
Because you might huff up.
As I sit here getting my nails all buffed.
Let me wish you a Merry Christmas.
Before I Scream.

Details | Prose Poetry | |

Riddles and Fiddles

Ya, Shar, there are still open ones- will update later and add a new one.
Lilacs- we had a ton in our yard- on Mother's day me and my brother would
go down to the corner and sell bunches for 50 cents.  A good deal, and a fortune 
for us.  Lotsa' time for title search! PS- my friend John and I spoke earlier this 
morn, and I asked him to e-mail me copies of my TV Guises.  Easily the funniest 
and most creative thing I ever did.  From the seventies- one each year for my 
father for his birthday.  My originals somewhere in storage.  They will be E-mailed 
to me, with cc to you... I even did the ads and columns.  They were long a family 
favorite.  I was lookin' at 70's TV Guides as I did them, so the shows are so 
dated.. there are quite a few.  We should have them in a day or two.  I wouldn't 
know how, or even if, they could be ever communicated in this medium.  Got 
some semi- good news a few minutes ago...will talk to ya later.  Have a good day!
Love, Tom...

Details | Kimo | |

Mrs. Karate

Dad is not happy when mom is with him
Watching a karate film
She employs what she sees

Details | Rhyme | |

No One Listen

No one listen to a word I say
This continue to go on everyday,
Time after time week after week
The words I say seem so bleak.

I get tired of repeating the same old stuff
They ought to know it by now cause I say it enough,
I wonder do they care about what I say a all
Well, I guess not because they won't follow protocol.

If they do the work and get on one accord
Then they will realize the work wasn't so hard,
When they don't do the chores, I bring out my rod
Now all of a sudden, they wanna call on God.

God don't wanna listen and hear what you say
He's gonna say you should listen and obey,
I wouldn't have use the rod if they'd payed attention
All because no one would listen.

Details | I do not know? | |

if heaven only knew?

how i norma jay felt about you;thered be no earthly struggles or wars on higher 
plains;theyd be nothing but angels galloping in and out of the rain of a cloudy 
dispelled sky;if heaven only knew my international poetry ladys name;but they 
sang it out loudly and broadcastingly,then they came to shout it out on our 
land;just the same was it you! they stated in a live reframe;who is the one norma 
jays loves so truley,she has wrote it in her own blood,sweat and her rendered 
weeping tear stains;if heaven only knew!how i felt about you;life would'nt be so 
tough at now would of it,they the members there should of 
rearange her brokened harp toward a different view;mr delrick;hum!

Details | Free verse | |

Dual Controls, the Electric Blanket From Hell...

This is a true story, a legend in the family, as related by my favorite aunt and 
uncle awhile back.  It happened, I'm not smart enough to make something this 
bizarre and humorous up....So, strap in,.....Here we go!...!!!...

"If you want,
to stay warm at night...
Just get an electric blanket,
They're "out of sight"!!

You can turn down,
The house's temp...
And still cuddle up warm,
In spite of the winter's
Cold hearted contempt...

But if you get one blanket,
With dual controls,
For husband and wife,
And even if, you have, a very long life,
Make sure you understand,
All the blanket's dial setting roles...

See, my aunt and my uncle,
On one cold winter's night...
Went to bed together,
And turned off the light...

They set their controls,
The way that they did like,
But trouble soon brewed,
They were fast approaching...
More than one "yike"!!!!!

Details | Elegy | |

She loved one

She could feel it in her bones.

Chills promising her she would

would never be alone.

I cried the night he left, he

just went away leaving me with

a scar of sweet memories. I held

him dear to me he was the only one

who I had led to my heart and opened

the door. 

He didn't deserve it, oh no he didn't

But he was the one she loved and as the

tears dropped she turned to stone.

Details | Rhyme | |

Mother Hen Adopts A Baby

She gives a cluck, cluck
Babies run for they could be out of luck
One baby stumbles and falls
Tripping over his big paws

Gathering all them under
Cover, with her feather's asunder
This mother hen tries to pull them in
One baby can't fit doesn't even blend

For he's adopted don't you see
Totally different from those three
Under the feathers free from harm
There he's kept very warm

What's so different do you suppose
About this one that under her wings repose
Why he's got a nose, long floppy ears
Feet that are huge with padded paws for gear

(I saw this picture of a mother hen that had adopted a puppy and had him under her and 
since I am adopted I thought of using this for a poem.)

Details | Free verse | |


Cute mispronunciations
And fit characteristics
From young loved ones
And close family and friends
Stick with some for life
Like familiar stones
Embedded in earth

Details | Free verse | |

The Junk Drawer

in most human endeavors
there are those items that just
don't quite fit in with the rest of the projects

from batteries to rubber bands
to unused takeout menus there is
only one place to find what you need

none other then the
family junk drawer
thats right folks !

the junk drawer
we really need to clean that
Out !

from mama to me now
I 've taken over the junk drawer
just call me a pack rat  LOL

Details | Free verse | |

10 Dollars Worth

"Fill 'er up?" The attendant asked GranDad while chewing on a wad of 
bacca with the remnants of spittle on his chin just after hocking one.  
"Naw...  just give me 10 dollars worth.  That'll be good, thank ya'."  
"Ok."  He said, "But it's miles 'fore the next gas stop.  Better think about it."
GranDad rebutted, "Naw... I just need enough to take me down the road
To da' house.  It don't take me twenty minutes to get there by foot."
"She 'bout broke down anyways.  Don't want to waste my cash on 'er
if she can't take me where I want to go," GranDad said with a chuckle.  
"So, just give me 10 dollars.  That's all she's worth."

(Written 3 days before the family van was wrecked when we put $10 of gas in it.)

Details | Rhyme | |

Authoritarianism v Passivism

Papa sat there, quiet, 
Reading his books
Never raised his voice 
Or give you nasty looks

He just read his books 
On metaphysics and inner self
Books I have not seen 
On any library shelf

One day my friend and I decided 
To steal mangos from the neighbour’s tree
When papa found out he sat me down 
And had a quiet word with me

I felt torn up inside 
Remorse for what I did
I used to curse myself 
And say what have you done Sid?

Now Mamma she’s ummmm
A different kettle of fish
When she heard what I did 
It was like signing a death wish

She had a way with words
Colourful they were
And when she moved
Ninja style a blur

I managed to run away
And climb up an avocado tree 
She was lunatic and rabid
The gardener was sent up to get me

I should have run away
She came down on me like a monsoon
My behind was like a plum tomato
I looked like an alpha male baboon

Don’t get me wrong 
The love was there
But do something significantly wrong
Look out, beware

Ask my imaginary friend Glen
This is not a trick
He too felt
The end of her stick

Details | Free verse | |


Fighting for that last chocolate chip cookie
Arguing over the doll you know is yours
Fighting for the front seat in the van
Arguing over who got more frosting on their cake. 
Fighting for the allowance neither deserve but they give anyway
Arguing over who started it and who will finish it
Fighting over who saw that cute bag first and who will keep it
Arguing to keep the bag of chocolate she says was actually her’s
Fighting for the armrest in the car
Arguing with “Did not!” and “Did too!”
Fighting over the attention from the grownups.
Arguing over who is really older
Fighting over the CD player she says she has no idea where it went
Arguing and Fighting will never end but the love remains the same

Details | Free verse | |

Nymph Etiquette

Before you gather nuts off the ground
I caution you, look around!
You never know when a nymph may be nearby
and if it took their fancy,
they will squash you like a fly.
For those who commit such a crime,
in my opinion, deserve to be treated like grime.

So remember before you stuff your face
and make those nuts disappear without a trace,
it would be prudent to first ask the tree.
though, I would refuse, if it were me.
But then a nut tree has more nuts than sense
I'll wager it would most willingly consent.

Now as for a stream,
their nymphs are highly peculair-------much more than they seem.
In self-interest for go drinking water
for you never know when a nymph lurks waiting for just such a drinker to 
But most importantly, remember this! 
If you bathe in their pools, you do so at risk!
For many nymphs would spirit you away.
Then in their pool, you will eternally stay.

Just keep in mind that with water,
it is best to forget quenching your thirst.
With them matters are sure to come to their worst.
If you seek to ask a stream permission,
acceptance is always as bad as omission.

In the case of a flower
my kin live in perpetual terror of your power.
For when you pluck them off their stem,
things begin to look rather grim.
To be quite frank, the poor nymph is no more.
By picking their flower, you commit murder, and send them through deaths door.

So as with all things,
you MUST ask the bloom!
I recommend you say it thus politely

''Excuse me, but please may I bring about your doom?''

And I would advise you not to forget, 
that for every suicidal nymph you pick
I will most soundly beat your head with a stick.

From this day forth you must set your self this simple task:
for all you desire,
you must employ manners
and politely ask.
For a nymphs plant is his own
and all I ask is that you respect this
or risk broken bones.

Details | I do not know? | |

A Tale Of Two 'tweens

Two boys in their 'tweens 
Around the time of 1915
Had jobs and chores at home
Couldn't just run and roam

One Saturday when in town
Saw an ad  the circus 
Was coming around
Saved their pennies

Did some work
Couldn't wait to see
What was possible quirks
Thrilled with excitement

When the time came around
Wanted to go all day to town
Around lunch dad said could go
They ran to all the way to show

Longingly waited in the line
Wondering what on the inside
They would finally find
Inside the huge tent

Found seats prefectly fixed
Comfortable in there place
Never knew would have to race
Outside in a heated pace

To be saved from terrible harm
The show had started excitement
Built, someone in the bleachers
Some liquor spilled

Another person who just as careless
Threw down a match that was what set it
Someone yelled fire as the tent went 
Up in flames and the 'tweens

Went jumping, running
Saving their skin
Looking back over their 
Shoulder as they ran

Both hit the brick wall
Of the local dry good store
Knocked flat out pulled
Away from the fire

By some passerby
Lived to tell about it
On another day 
I was glad they were alive that I say

(This is based on a true story that my father told me of this happening to him and his 
brother in Concord around 1912 up to 1915.  They were both just before being a teen ager 
or very early teens.)

Details | Rhyme | |

Sugared Watermelon

Bought a tiny watermelon
Going to cut his top right off
Then cut his round bottom
So he won't topple and doff

Going to gut him with a scoop
Eating the guts until covered red
But spit out all that black slimy poop
Tonight won't be very early to bed

On the remains drawing a scary face
It will be so grotesque not a disgrace
Sharp, razor sharp exacto knife
Stab cut out those outlines all life

Now his grotesque face shines
So brightly that almost blinds
Our Jack-o-Latern will be best beast
A spooky treat a very delicious feast

(Rhyme sorta)

Details | Couplet | |

Serenity of Entropy (For Mothers Everywhere)

Wake up the crack of dawn,
Mow the lawn,
Get the mail,
Come inside and be carefree,
Bask in the serenity of entropy,
Wake up the kids to clean their rooms,
Wash the car and walk the dog,
Lay out all day the back yard sod,
Get in the car and be carefree,
Bask in the serenty of entropy,
Check the clock and plant the shrubs,
Paint the house and wash the tub,
Vacuum the bathroom and seep the halls,
Then get in the shower and be carefree,
Bask in the serenity of entropy,
Put on your clothes and go to work,
Run to the office, you're 10 minutes late,
Attribute your tardiness to traffic or fate,
Then sit down at your desk and be carefree,
Bask in the serenity of entropy,
Go home and cook dinner,
Then eat and around ten,
Go upstairs, collapse, and ward off his pass,
The man who approaches with hair on his back,
Then ask yourself why did it have to be me?
That basks in the serenity of entropy?

Details | Free verse | |

Framing Moments Past

Hazy pictures were displayed
Old oaken frames contained them
Hanging slight off kilter right
  The walls littered like leaves in autumn lawns
Grandma keeps glimpses of every leaf pile we made

Remember that Day?  Indepence Day, we think...
Smiled postures, sincere familial moment
Each recounting the tales we told most well
Classic family fables...annual oral essays
The laughs reached hysterics, when we remembered.....

These pictorial journals stand proud
  Historical record of Easter egg-hunt/fist-fights
account of dogs who eat cake...sons first birthday
the dog ate the cake on his FIRST birthday?!!
Picture proved guilt for Bailey, you mutt!!
Chocalate chops-licking as if smiling for the camera

Christmas collages of gift wrapping typhoons
Swirling in heaps covering everything
Your eyes were half shut holding
   holding an Alf doll...old school dated stuff
Fashion victim, you had a perm?!
   relishing rubicks cubes , mysterious artifact
I could never have vengeful laughing
  without this"Wham" haircut snapshot

Grandma likes the silly one we took
eyes crossed, fish lipped child faces
chubby wind burned cheeks,  pushed through snowsuit hoods
Snowman center stage in a motley group pose
 bordered either side, white barred polaroid
taped, crudley cropped, in center of this frame

Each still reinactment is a Joyful look beyond
Life had painted beautiful moments,
   and we were there to catch it....

Details | I do not know? | |

Indiana Jones and the temple of dumb

(This fictional poem is based on a cartoon I drew)

My cousin is as dumb as he can be.
His IQ score is only twenty-three.
He and I both love those Indiana Jones movies.
We think they are neat and groovy.
But when we watched Raiders of the lost ark, we got in a fight.
It's a shame that this poor boy isn't very bright.
When I told him that Raiders of the lost ark was made in 1981, he said I was 
I couldn't convince him it was the truth even though I kept trying.
I asked him why did he think I wasn't right.
He said it couldn't be true because from 1980 to 1983 Harrison Ford was frozen 
in Carbonite.

Details | Rhyme | |


Took my truck to Albany last week,
Lost my fan belts,had a flat on the street.
Went to New York,the big apple at last,
Crossed the toll bridge,they took my pass.
Went to Minnesota,clear to the end.
Can't find a load,you are laid over my friend.
Went to Louisiana,trying to get home you see,
Only to find out,I was bound for Milwakee.
I quit making plans now that I find,
When not making plans,I get great home time.

Details | Rhyme | |

Best Friends Forever

You are my best friend,
Until the very end.
We acted liked cake and ice cream,
So thick and so thin.
In Autumn, we played together,
Until the leaves off the tree began to decay.
We also keep in touch. And our houses weren't far away.
We both went to same school and classes,
But our love for our classmates never lasted.
No one can come between you and me. 
Because we are friends until infinity.
Nothing can separate me from your love you showed.
Now, that you aren't here,
There are debts that I must owe. 
Just wish that the good times were still here,
And we can still laugh and spread some cheer

Details | Free verse | |

Halloween Party?

I don't know where we all live, but if concievable, how about a Hallowen dress up
Party?  Kids, spouses, maybe s even music.  Maybe a prize for best constume. 
And some of my "schtick!"  Let me know

Details | I do not know? | |


Miscalculated the opened door
Spilled those grits on the floor
Well some went on the cabinet top
Some went here and there and flop

These grits were uncooked see
Gritty and runny milky indeed
They went under the coffee keeper
All over the clean coffee steeper

When they finished running around
I thought that they was kin to one who bounds
Like a stud, a casanova everywhere
I didn't make a sound really I didn't make a sound

I could have but I bit my tongue
I held up the shield to my thoughts
I held them captive until my husband
Came  in the room and I told him
Do not drop any water on the floor

Details | Rhyme | |

Awoken Again

I was awoken this morning at a half past three, 
from a startling sound of a high octave C
I heard an F and a G,
or was that a staccato E?
Whatever note it was, it was disrupting me.
Then a D sharp and a lower octave B
"Oh my God, the tune is torturing me."
Then Hark! A smile of silence and I knew I'd be O.K.
But while dozing off to sleepy land I was jolted with an A.

"This is NOT o.k. I tell you,
to wake me up like this from my rest.
This bleeding eared tune I'm hearing now is putting me to the test!"

So I get up to see what's the matter, 
as the cat jumps from the piano down to the floor.
And smugly grinned and said, "What? A mew would have been to 
simple just to have you come open up the door."

Details | Bio | |


Another true tom tale:

It was 1984,
Long ago I know,
That I had the urge to travel
And to San Francisco
I did go

With wife and two sons
We had reservations
At a classy hotel indeed,
And at $279. a night,
You'd think you they'd feed

The room was nice,
though small,
The price did shock me so,
Because until we got there
The price I did not know

Long flight, long day,
We were tired, 
and settled for the night,
Turned on the TV
And then did notice I,
A small refrigerator...
I wondered the reason why

A key that we had gotten
Opened up real quick
And what I found inside
Made me realize I was a "hick"

Inside beer, soda, scotch
Candy, treats of every kind
Well, at $279. a night,
I figured this was just fine

We had a feast, 
I had several drinks
I thought how thoughtful
But somewhere in the back
of my mind
I hoped it was no jinx

Next morning at 
the included breakfast buffet,
Somehow I mentioned
to another guest,
How nice the in-room
refrigerator provisions
he looked at me
like some crawling pest

"Those are not free!"
He informed me
"You pay for every bit,
And at the prices of
this hotel,
You might be in deep sh_t"

Well we checked out
right after breakfast,
Had to wait as
They took a mini-bar
Seems we had consumed
$86.00 worth
Of what we thought was totally free!

Details | Rhyme | |

Today She Got Her License!!

Today she got her license.
She now thinks she's all grown.
I can't believe my baby
can drive to town ALONE.

Although I tried to fight it, 
the time kept passing by.
Is it wrong to drag my heals? 
You know... I had to try! ! 

She use to be so small.
It seems like yesterday
when I would watch her sing her songs
and giggle while she'd play.

I have to trust her judgement.
Of course she knows what's right.
I pray God keeps her by His side
even when she's not in sight.

Details | Free verse | |



David, all others fail to 
capture my gaze in the ways 
that your physique does.

Your rounded muscles 
and strong upper thighs 
lead my eyes to somewhere 
above the thighs,
where what hangs 
so blissfully, 
is such a wonder 
to my young girly eyes.

Never have I seen 
such a mysterious sight, 
for it's usually covered 
with a loin cloth.
You've shed light
on a lot for me today.

So glad I made this trip 
to Florence, Italy; 
it was worth the jet lag 
that made my nine year old 
eyes sag.

Not all of the little girls 
back home will believe 
what I saw, 
when Mom's 
back was turned!
Chao, David.

Details | Blank verse | |

Running with Scissors

The alphabet but has held true
you get the paper I'll get the glue
clipping and shaving spreading everywhere
giggles and laughs seaping through fingers
the hushing back and forth
don't wake mom
don't make a mess
don't run with scissors
for all those rules we had to break
for that defines what a child is all about
a surprise for her from us
to give her a smile that will make her bust
for everyday is mother's day
when your child runs with scissors
creating something new
something old
something blue
a perfect marriage of innocence and youth
a match made in heaven
for it is but a blessing to have children 

Details | Bio | |

How To Pay Your Bills (Part One)

This was a method employed,
By my last ex-wife,
Who enjoyed 16 years of 
torturing me,
The bane of my life...

See she sat and slept in
her recliner,
The power seat of the house,
And treated me,
Like an annoying mouse...
I was too dumd to take,
Care of a bill,
My mental capacity,
Seemingly nil...
Each day I'd hand her majesty
That days' mail,
Nothing but bills,
For the coffin a nail....
As I worked 6 days a week,
Most 11 hours long,
I grew quite meek...
Her system consisted,
Of tossing the bills in a pile,
Next to her chair,
Let them sit for awhile...
Till afer 'bout six weeks,
The pile reached her armchair height,
Annoyed her TV vision,
Obscuring her sight..
Now I knew, 
when she started to pay...
That legion of bills...
On that fateful day....
I'd better be,
At least a hundred miles away...
She would grow ever more disturbed,
And violent at me,
I didn't make enough,
For her tennis lessons,
You see.....
New car, clothes by the score,
She wanted no pressure,
And she wanted more...
I'd go to work,
With 30 cents,
No coffee could buy...
I was just too dense...
Worthless and shifty,
Each 60 hour week,
And pitiful, and weak,
And far too disdainful,
The mouse was too meek...

For three days I'd suffer the storm....
Wishing I was elsewhere,
Especially in a coed dorm....
'Cause I'd have non of "that",
If you know what I mean...
Sometimes lasted for months,
Despite pleading tears...

Now-adays, I live up "On Cripple Creek"
No longer matters if 
I'm feeling strong or quite weak,
Cause as the song says;
"Up on Cripple Creek,
If I spring a leak,
She mends me...
I don't have to speak,
She defends me...
A drunkard's dream...
If I ever did see one!"
This would be my friend Rosie,
Who pays all my bills,
Takes care of stuff,
Cures all of my ills...
And, should someone,
Be so damn foolish,
As to antagonize me,
I merely tell her,
And soon enough they would wish,
Someone else's hot anger,
Had they sampled in their dish,
Wishing to dear God,
They'd never heard of my name...
And suddenly they'd have realized,
They ought not have tried to play that game...
My biggest nightmare,
In the whole world, I do think,
Would be to piss her off,
That really would stink...

Details | Rhyme |