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Dog Funny Poems | Funny Poems About Dog

These Dog Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Dog. These are the best examples of Dog Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Footle |

More Foolish Footles - Man's Best Friend

Overweight Terrier:
Porky
Yorkie
Un-cool Terrier:
Dorky
Yorkie

Spaniel dog breeder:
Cocker
Stocker
Parrot who mimics a Spaniel's bark:
Cocker
Mocker
Book on how to care for Cockers:
Spaniel
Manuel
Originally from England, a well-rounded Spaniel stays in shape by playing:
Cocker
Soccer
Then showers and dresses by its:
Cocker
Locker

Dachshund headgear:
Weenie
Beenie
Grouchy Dachshund:
Meany
Weenie
Proportionally, male Dachshunds have:
Teenie
Weenies
(But size isn't everything)
Dachshund making critcal life choices:
Eenie
Weenie...

A dog in Medieval France:
Feudal
Poodle
French dog's brain:
Poodle
Noodle
A French dog breeder raises:
Oodles
of
Poodles
(Cheated on that one)

Lassie was a level-headed dog and never engaged in:
Collie
Folly
Reared in a lovng environnment, she was a rather:
Jolly
Collie
Bred in the capitol city of NC, making her a:
Raleigh
Collie
To commemorate her frequent (and often rowdy) visits to N.O. a streetcar was renamed the:
Collie
Trolley

Snoopy immigrated to the States but alas, was found not to be a:
Legal
Beagle
Thus he was deported back to England but was promptly knighted by the Queen becoming a:
Regal
Beagle
Now a celebrity, he even has an entourage of nubile young female beagles named:
Snoopy's
Groupies
Footnote: He is also a regular on the foxhunt circuit where it is rumored that he is often allowed to cheat, prompting howls of protests from outraged and exhausted cohorts...


Details | Couplet |

On The Moon

Thea, grandfather Alferd's dog died, she was so old and sick
Now is Thea on the moon, says Adrian who is six

Michael Jackson died so unexpectedly and abruptly
He is on the moon and plays with Thea, says Adrian who is a big fan

Betzy, grandfather Arild's dog died, she was also old and sick
Now Betzy is also on the moon with Thea and Michael Jackson and play all day

Great Grandmother died so unexpectedly and abruptly
Adrian who is six had difficulty understanding

Adrian who is six cried many tears for Great Grandmother
but comforted himself with the fact that she is sitting on the moon and
makes waffles to Thea, Michael Jackson and Betzy.




04.11.2012
A-L Andresen :)  - A true story -


Details | Rhyme |

His Old Pick-Up Truck

He begs me to come, but he's run out of luck You won't catch me dead in that beat-up old truck! It was painted blue...now the color is rust But you can't be too sure...since it's covered in dust!... The engine must idle, (about an hour is good) You can feel the vibration, around the whole neighborhood A life is at risk, if you go for a ride! The windshield is broken, and leaks rain inside It makes a weird noise, rides bumpy and rough The dashboard is littered and covered with "stuff" The seat cushion's torn, and it pokes at my rear The dog sits beside us and licks at my ear There's no place below us, for resting my feet There's a hole in the floor, O my God, there's the street!!! The windows don't close, so there's more than a breeze Wrappers from Twinkies, a Burger King box... One lonely old sneaker, and smelly old socks Half a stale donut smashed down on the floor Darn!! The dog beat me to it, and is looking for more!! The muffler is loose, you can see the sparks fly Dirty looks from the folks, who get smoke in their eyes When we drive by the neighbors, I duck my head and I hide I'm no Prima Donna....but I've still got some pride!! He loves that old truck, he calls her a gem! Make him choose between us??? ....I'd be out on a limb!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------- For Verlena Walker's Slamming Battle Contest


Details | Rhyme |

I Didn't Do My Math Homework

I didn’t do my math homework!
I watched T.V instead!
I better come up with an excuse... and quick!
Or else I’m surely dead!

My brother tore it!
It’s in the garbage!
Mom says it causes brain damage!

My power was out!
I had the flu!
I was having trouble excreting my poo!

You know, why even bother?
My excuses are so lame!
I know! My dog ate my homework!
Now to find a dog I can blame...


Details | Concrete |

If Children Were Puppies

                                                IF MY
                                            CHILDREN
                                         WERE PUPPIES
                                            THEY’D BE
                                               NICER
                                                  TO
                                                  ME.
                                THEY WOULD NOT BE FUSSY
                        AND            TALK BACK YOU            SEE.                       
                       SIT             BRAVE AND LOYAL           NOT                        
                       TRY             TO RUN AND HIDE.           AND
                                        FAITHFULLY  FOLLOW
                                           NEVER LEAVING
                                            MY SIDE. BUT
                                            IF CHILDREN
                                             WERE PUPS
                                              THEN THEY
                                              MIGHT EAT
                                             LIKE    HOGS
                                            CHEW    YOUR 
                                          GOOD        SHOE   
                                 MAYBE HIDE         YOUR CLOGS
 	    AND IF CHILDREN WERE PUPPIES, THEN WE’D ALL BE DOGS!

Written by Brenda Meier-Hans
12.02.2012


Details | Narrative |

The Dog and the Rabbit

The dog seen a rabbit and how he did chase
to catch that little critter and boy what a race

But one thing that rabbit knew as he ran away
he was not going to be lunch for that dog today

Around the tree and  into the bushes he went
the dog was right after that little rabbit's scent

the dog was so busy that he never did see
that big old  hornet nest  way up in the tree

running and barking and making a sound
made all the hornets start buzzing around

They all made a dive and together they flew
when they  hit the dog he knew he was through

He made up his mind right there and then
he would never go chasing that rabbit again


Details | Free verse |

not me two cats and a mangy dog

the rain fell 
outside 
dogs and cats
Sunday 
was late in coming
rolled over in bed 
played dead

until a red 
long haired cat
named Fred
sat 
on my head
and my face 
turned red

then a stray 
mangy yellow dog
named Yellow
decided to play 
with me
chased Fred away
and decided to stay

his body heat 
was hot
and I rolled over in bed
until a cool fat black cat 
named Frank 
chased Yellow
outside to the riverbank


Frank the cool fat black cat 
started to scat 
at the top of his range
at the edge of my bed
his blues 
went straight 
to my head

then Yellow and Fred 
returned 
with guitar and bass
and played backup
to Frank
while I played the bed
to save face

it was all 
going swell
until my neighbors 
who didn’t like our chops
banged a different tune 
on the wall
and called the cops

they broke down
the door
and took away us four
along with our instruments 
less the bed of course
into a paddy wagon 
we sped 

it was in a cell 
with a cot
that we realized that we were hot
to trot
and started our prison band called 
not 
me two cats and a mangy dog


Details | Couplet |

YES, IT'S A DOG'S LIFE

YES,   IT’S A DOG’S  LIFE

Out at last and  oh  boy  am I gonna enjoy some fun  -
Leg-up,  ahhhhhhhhhh,  the poodle next door will envy that one. 
He‘ll  be calling for me  pretty soon, to cross the road  (as if I can’t do it
alone and get a in a bit of car-chasing to boot) with him, the dimwit.
So,  gotta get to the corner and sniff who’s been and how long ago was that.
But whoa!  What’s that scent I feel on the breeze?   A cat?
Excellent !  - a chase with one of those furry mouse-snatchers   -
Just to show ‘em who owns this  street…Ok…ready you dog watchers?….
Excuse me for a mo….woof, woof,  snarl,  woof, woof:
Just a bit of theatrical dog-voice there.  Mmm . . . I love  cat-on-the-hoof.
Oh yeah,  I figured,  now he’s gonna put on the leash 
As a statement that “he owns this stretch of street”  - it’s his niche.
Ok,  it’s on now,  but he’s gonna have to pay: his muscles will tire
Cos I am pulling the wrong way  all the time, and pressure gets higher
On the leash, I’m a-gonna want to be ahead of him whichever way he goes:
Were talking arm-out-of-socket  after half an hour, I suppose.
Another corner, stop for a good sniff, make him wait with patience deep:
On his “tight  leash” he’s gonna have to stand near the crap heap.
Ok,   quick leg-up, no  liquid but just gotta do it for  show
Demo of who-owns-what-corner around here,  you know.
Now it’s the neighbour’s poodle,  “Oh  hi,  how are you? 
Let me sniff your rear-end  a good bit,   mmmmm.. . . .ooooo!”
Then  I’ll lick  his hand he’ll have to wash that hand when we’re home.
Just showing him who owns the butt-sniffing  rights around here where I roam.
Ok,  so it’s the newspaper shop ritual,  gotta show a little obedience here.
Why can’t  he buy it at  a shop that’s near?
How’d you like a roll of  paper in your mouth for fifteen minutes?
And no drools on it  or else he’ll  have a seizure or  fits.
And with the roll in my mouth as I pass all the guys laugh. . . 
I tell you, man,   it’s a dog’s life.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .  .

Written  13  June  2012

Entered in   Tanya Harrington's  Contest 	Dog Gone Tales


Details | Couplet |

Sherlock

Sherlock
I met a man on the internet, but he’s not for me to date
He seems ok because he has a dog he loves, so I think I am too late.

The dog was given a name of notable English fame
He used to live on 221b Baker Street and Sherlock was his name.

Poor Sherlock has sore eyes, so they sent him to Dr Bart
He had to have a lid lift to keep the lids apart.

Poor Sherlock is now home and feeling very sad
A cone around his head, he wants to sleep with mum and dad.

Sherlock is a bloodhound, not the smallest dog
He sleeps with mum and dad and daddy writes his blog.

Dad has found a use for Sherlock with his cone around his head
He places him in the garden for free satellite instead.

Get Well Soon Sherlock


Details | Free verse |

The Little Dog ( Scotty )

The Little Dog ( Scotty )

I’m only a small female
Little legs you see
The other two are huge
Males big pawed and hairy
Great tongues lolling
But they protect me
They are nice to me
I’m only small

The human is a giant !
If I look straight ahead
I can only see the shins
And while the other two are off
Galloping and romping
I am trotting behind
Little legs you see
But the human
He waits for me

I think the human is male
He must be
As I feel so drawn to it
And its kind hands
And kind eyes
He must be male
I am female
I know these things

I love to go out walking
The human he takes us all
All three !
I have to skip over boulders
Which to them are just pebbles
And sometimes all of them
Have to wait for me patiently
Little legs with little paws you see

I love them all
Especially the human
And especially when he feeds me
Even more when he tickles my tummy
Do you know he built a little house for me
Just for me
I curl up on pillows at night
Nice warm and cozy

So because I love him
And even though I am rather small
I growl and bark
When he needs protecting
And I can see him smiling
So I know I am being a good girl

The human has a “ H U G E ” kennel
So big a dog could get lost in
And when he returns from being gone
He always lets us in
But never up those little floors
Which go to the place he uses for sleeping

Never mind
I am content
Like the other two 
To curl on the soft fluffy bit of the floor
And wait dozing
Occasionally sniffing about 
The place food is kept in
Till the time comes
For us all to go out walking

And then I can barely contain myself
In jumps and circles
While the other two are whimpering and whining
Time for them to go off running, snuffling and playing
While behind I follow
Steadily trotting
Little legs you see
But the human
He waits for me





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