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Funny Dog Poems | Funny Poems About Dog

These Funny Dog poems are examples of Funny poems about Dog. These are the best examples of Funny Dog poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Footle | |

Fickle-Foolish-Footles - Man's Best Friend

Overweight Terrier:
Un-cool Terrier:

Spaniel dog breeder:
Parrot who mimics a Spaniel's bark:
Book on how to care for Cockers:
Originally from England, a well-rounded Spaniel stays in shape by playing:
Then showers and dresses by its:

Dachshund headgear:
Grouchy Dachshund:
Proportionally, male Dachshunds have:
(But size isn't everything)
Dachshund making critcal life choices:

Lassie was a level-headed dog and never engaged in:
Reared in a loving environnment, she was a rather:
Bred in the capitol city of NC, making her a:
To commemorate her frequent (and often rowdy) visits to N.O. a streetcar was renamed the:

Snoopy immigrated to the States but alas, was found not to be a:
Thus he was deported back to England but was promptly knighted by the Queen becoming a:
Now a celebrity, he even had an entourage of nubile young female beagles named:
Eventually, he met his soul mate, married her in Westminster Abbey and it is rumored that they engaged in numerous and somewhat kinky sessions of:

Copyright © Tim Ryerson

Details | Rhyme | |

My Puppy

My puppy sure loves to lick me
He thinks I’m a lollypop.
Every time I get home he attacks me
Then kisses me nonstop.

You’d think I was gone forever
When I just left the house for the mail,
He is right at the door when I get back
With a rapidly wiggling tail.

He wants to eat everything I do,
Mom says, that’s not good for a dog.
We want to keep him fit and healthy
So daily we go for a jog.

My toys are all tattered and ragged
My socks are his ultimate aim,
Doesn’t matter how much it upsets us
He thinks it’s all some kind of game.

I know he’s a bit of a stinker
That always wants to be fed.
But I sure am in love with my puppy,
Every night when we cuddle in bed.

Written by Brenda Meier-Hans

Copyright © Brenda Meier-Hans

Details | Couplet | |

- On The Moon -

Thea, grandfather Alferd's dog died, she was so old and sick
Now is Thea on the moon, says Adrian who is six

Michael Jackson died so unexpectedly and abruptly
He is on the moon and plays with Thea, says Adrian who is a big fan

Betzy, grandfather Arild's dog died, she was also old and sick
Now Betzy is also on the moon with Thea and Michael Jackson and play all day

Great Grandmother died so unexpectedly and abruptly
Adrian who is six had difficulty understanding

Adrian who is six cried many tears for Great Grandmother
but comforted himself with the fact that she is sitting on the moon and
makes waffles to Thea, Michael Jackson and Betzy

A-L Andresen :)  - A true story -
Copyright © All Rights Reserved

Copyright © Anne Lise Andresen

Details | Alliteration | |

Lucky at Home

You’d think a dog named Lucky,
Would lead a decent life.
But Lucky had his troubles,
And they followed day and night.

One day Lucky ran away
In search of greener pastures.
Just to find a field ablaze,
Thus the start of his disasters.

Although Lucky didn’t die that day
And no limbs or parts were broken,
Lucky smelled of smoldered hair
And you’d swear he kept on smokin!

And Lucky liked to chase the cars,
Till the day he lost his nerve
When Lucky met a big ‘ol bus
That couldn’t stop or swerve.

I’m not sure just how it hit him
Or how he’s here today.
But he’s never walked straight since,
And one eye veers away.

My Lucky always clashed with cats
And was leery of their paws.
Until a “Tom” of forty pounds
Let Lucky feel his jaws.

Hair and fur balls filled the air
Like Cottonwoods a bloomin.
Poor ‘ol Lucky lost an ear,
And now looks twice as stupid.

I confess, I named him wrong
And why he stays, I’ll never know.
I guess that I’m the lucky one,
To have Lucky here at home.

Copyright © Tom Valles

Details | Rhyme | |

His Old Pick-Up Truck

He begs me to come, but he's run out of luck You won't catch me dead in that beat-up old truck! It was painted the color is rust But you can't be too sure...since it's covered in dust!... The engine must idle, (about an hour is good) You can feel the vibration, around the whole neighborhood A life is at risk, if you go for a ride! The windshield is broken, and leaks rain inside It makes a weird noise, rides bumpy and rough The dashboard is littered and covered with "stuff" The seat cushion's torn, and it pokes at my rear The dog sits beside us and licks at my ear There's no place below us, for resting my feet There's a hole in the floor, O my God, there's the street!!! The windows don't close, so there's more than a breeze Wrappers from Twinkies, a Burger King box... One lonely old sneaker, and smelly old socks Half a stale donut smashed down on the floor Darn!! The dog beat me to it, and is looking for more!! The muffler is loose, you can see the sparks fly Dirty looks from the folks, who get smoke in their eyes When we drive by the neighbors, I duck my head and I hide I'm no Prima Donna....but I've still got some pride!! He loves that old truck, he calls her a gem! Make him choose between us??? ....I'd be out on a limb!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------- For Verlena Walker's Slamming Battle Contest

Copyright © Carrie Richards

Details | Rhyme | |

I Didn't Do My Math Homework

I didn’t do my math homework!
I watched T.V instead!
I better come up with an excuse... and quick!
Or else I’m surely dead!

My brother tore it!
It’s in the garbage!
Mom says it causes brain damage!

My power was out!
I had the flu!
I was having trouble excreting my poo!

You know, why even bother?
My excuses are so lame!
I know! My dog ate my homework!
Now to find a dog I can blame...

Copyright © Jacob Cra

Details | Concrete | |

If Children Were Puppies

                                                IF MY
                                         WERE PUPPIES
                                            THEY’D BE
                                THEY WOULD NOT BE FUSSY
                        AND            TALK BACK YOU            SEE.                       
                       SIT             BRAVE AND LOYAL           NOT                        
                       TRY             TO RUN AND HIDE.           AND
                                        FAITHFULLY  FOLLOW
                                           NEVER LEAVING
                                            MY SIDE. BUT
                                            IF CHILDREN
                                             WERE PUPS
                                              THEN THEY
                                              MIGHT EAT
                                             LIKE    HOGS
                                            CHEW    YOUR 
                                          GOOD        SHOE   
                                 MAYBE HIDE         YOUR CLOGS

Written by Brenda Meier-Hans

Copyright © Brenda Meier-Hans

Details | Narrative | |

The Dog and the Rabbit

The dog seen a rabbit and how he did chase
to catch that little critter and boy what a race

But one thing that rabbit knew as he ran away
he was not going to be lunch for that dog today

Around the tree and  into the bushes he went
the dog was right after that little rabbit's scent

the dog was so busy that he never did see
that big old  hornet nest  way up in the tree

running and barking and making a sound
made all the hornets start buzzing around

They all made a dive and together they flew
when they  hit the dog he knew he was through

He made up his mind right there and then
he would never go chasing that rabbit again

Copyright © Oma Bennett

Details | Free verse | |

For the Kids---A Funny Cat and Dog Tale

As the 

came buzzing by
to rest and munch
and eat his lunch
and have some fun
on the hound dog's 

The old dog
without a clue
in the noontime heat
of the August

by piles of leaves
in dappled shade
of the apple tree,
where an apple fell
and the flies said "yum"
and the bees would hum
and the dog would yawn.

So lazy
he won't
fetch a stick,
or scratch his neck
or care a lick 
about a neighbor's cat,...

That ornery
will prance around,
will tease and taunt
the weary hound,
who naps so sound
dog- day

Hound has no pep
to take a step
to chase
or race
that snooty 
smugly rubs
against his back,
and sticks her nose
up to his snout,
sticks up her tail 
sashays about.

He hardly cares
that she is there.
She preens and cleans 
her own black spots,
She stares at him
he stares right back,
with one eye open,
one eye shut

He'll stretch a bit
and scratch a lot 
but it's too

not a lie.



Copyright © Carrie Richards

Details | Free verse | |

not me two cats and a mangy dog

the rain fell 
dogs and cats
was late in coming
rolled over in bed 
played dead

until a red 
long haired cat
named Fred
on my head
and my face 
turned red

then a stray 
mangy yellow dog
named Yellow
decided to play 
with me
chased Fred away
and decided to stay

his body heat 
was hot
and I rolled over in bed
until a cool fat black cat 
named Frank 
chased Yellow
outside to the riverbank

Frank the cool fat black cat 
started to scat 
at the top of his range
at the edge of my bed
his blues 
went straight 
to my head

then Yellow and Fred 
with guitar and bass
and played backup
to Frank
while I played the bed
to save face

it was all 
going swell
until my neighbors 
who didn’t like our chops
banged a different tune 
on the wall
and called the cops

they broke down
the door
and took away us four
along with our instruments 
less the bed of course
into a paddy wagon 
we sped 

it was in a cell 
with a cot
that we realized that we were hot
to trot
and started our prison band called 
me two cats and a mangy dog


Details | Light Poetry | |

Dog Gone , Bone Search

Dog Gone , Bone Search

Seeking, this yard, looking for a bone
not a cool drink, just not for me
A bone, a bone, master still on the phone
but, there, there is my favorite tree!

Sweet release, now back to my hard task
cat races away, why I have no clue
If only there was somebody here to ask
and where hides a big bone they knew!

Over there, fresh dirt shows a treasure
buried beneath must be a large bone
When I dig it up I can then just measure
while master stays busy on the phone.

Mine at last, the great prize I so graved
so tasty, this delicious treat
Should I keep it and have it engraved
or yield to hunger and just eat?

Great quest it was, certainly no lark
a bone, a bone found was this food
Time to scratch and let out a loud bark
this delicious bone sets that mood!

Master races out with same bowl of crap
bone now gone, I ate it so quick
Time to ignore him, pretending a nap
I may be only a dog but I am still slick!

R.J. Lindley 
Jan, 22nd 1971
Note - Old poem, light verse and bored, goofing 
around one night.

Copyright © Robert Lindley

Details | Free verse | |

The Little Dog ( Scotty )

The Little Dog ( Scotty )

I’m only a small female
Little legs you see
The other two are huge
Males big pawed and hairy
Great tongues lolling
But they protect me
They are nice to me
I’m only small

The human is a giant !
If I look straight ahead
I can only see the shins
And while the other two are off
Galloping and romping
I am trotting behind
Little legs you see
But the human
He waits for me

I think the human is male
He must be
As I feel so drawn to it
And its kind hands
And kind eyes
He must be male
I am female
I know these things

I love to go out walking
The human he takes us all
All three !
I have to skip over boulders
Which to them are just pebbles
And sometimes all of them
Have to wait for me patiently
Little legs with little paws you see

I love them all
Especially the human
And especially when he feeds me
Even more when he tickles my tummy
Do you know he built a little house for me
Just for me
I curl up on pillows at night
Nice warm and cozy

So because I love him
And even though I am rather small
I growl and bark
When he needs protecting
And I can see him smiling
So I know I am being a good girl

The human has a “ H U G E ” kennel
So big a dog could get lost in
And when he returns from being gone
He always lets us in
But never up those little floors
Which go to the place he uses for sleeping

Never mind
I am content
Like the other two 
To curl on the soft fluffy bit of the floor
And wait dozing
Occasionally sniffing about 
The place food is kept in
Till the time comes
For us all to go out walking

And then I can barely contain myself
In jumps and circles
While the other two are whimpering and whining
Time for them to go off running, snuffling and playing
While behind I follow
Steadily trotting
Little legs you see
But the human
He waits for me

Copyright © colin mitchell williams

Details | Couplet | |


I met a man on the internet, but he’s not for me to date
He seems ok because he has a dog he loves, so I think I am too late.

The dog was given a name of notable English fame
He used to live on 221b Baker Street and Sherlock was his name.

Poor Sherlock has sore eyes, so they sent him to Dr Bart
He had to have a lid lift to keep the lids apart.

Poor Sherlock is now home and feeling very sad
A cone around his head, he wants to sleep with mum and dad.

Sherlock is a bloodhound, not the smallest dog
He sleeps with mum and dad and daddy writes his blog.

Dad has found a use for Sherlock with his cone around his head
He places him in the garden for free satellite instead.

Get Well Soon Sherlock

Copyright © Mandy Tams The Golden Girl

Details | Light Poetry | |

Footle - A Dog Catchers Vow

If found

in pound!

Copyright © Robin L. Gass

Details | Couplet | |

Doggone*Dog *contest*

.     *DOGGY  STYLE*

Tonight! Tonight! I must display.
About my man's doggy style way.

Once he comes home he acts like I'm his "DOGGY BAG."
"It’s DOGGING ME!" The way he starts to nag.

He came from the bar with his "DOG BREATH!"
Calling me by the name of Beth.

When he settles down he starts acting like he's the "TOP DOG!"
"DOGGONE IT!" doesn't he know I'm adding this bone to my blog.

Now he's drunk acting "MEAN LIKE a JUNK YARD DOG!"
I taunt him by calling him a pig and a hog.

We "FIGHT LIKE CATS and DOGS," this really must be love?
"It's a DOG eat DOG WORLD" when push comes to shove!

Once again he will sleep "IN THE DOG HOUSE!"
This time for ripping my favorite blouse.

I wish he was a real dog, he needs to be neutered and fixed.

I think I will laugh and kiss him good night.

By morning he will be "SICK AS A DOG" and scary like a mouse.
I'm still waiting to be "Happy as a FLEA in a DOG HOUSE!"

"HE IS NOTHING BUT A HOUND DOG" thinking it's doggy style all the time!
In his rabies case his desires keeps getting worse than slobber and slime.

.Should I tell my man that his actions are  what I call humans love torch?
 With the reaction "IF you can’t run with the BIG DOG's PUPPY, STAY on the porch!"

By; smiles

Copyright © Poet Destroyer A

Details | Dramatic Verse | |

The Cross Over

My Dog 

Today is the day!
I give my dog away!
I wonder if he's sick or if he's too lazy to play and do tricks.
I called the vet, “$80 I cannot pay.”

My dog, my favorite pet,
He does not want to chase the cat.
I understand that he does not like to get wet.
But, how come today, he doesn't want to play fetch.
I tell him to roll over.
That he doesn't even want to do :- ( 
When I call my dog Rover,
He gives me the puppy face too.
Maybe he's over fed.
All he does is lay there in bed.
He’s not even wagging his tail!

My dog, my favorite pet,
He didn’t walk with me to get the mail.

Should I call the Dog Catcher?
And ask why my dog is playing dead?

by;pd & son 

Copyright © Poet Destroyer A

Details | Rhyme | |


What would it be like if I were a tree
Just how different my life would be
Standing still for years on end
Perhaps it would drive me round the bend
Back and forth I’d sway in the breeze
Then in the winter my branches would freeze
In the autumn I would be naked and bare
But I’m just a tree so who’s going to care
I’ll attract all the birds when it turns to spring
They will sit on my branches and then start to sing
Building their houses they fly too and fro
Too bring up their young I watch how they grow
When it gets cold they’ll all fly away
The sign that its winter with a sky that is grey
Alone again not one single bird
The sound of the singing not to be heard
All the little animals have all hidden away
I’m stuck in the ground that’s where I will stay
I see the odd person who’s out for a jog
Then there are others out walking their dog
Then they will stop to let the dog pee
But why do they have to do it on me
Kids swing from my branches till they fall apart
If only they realised I do have a heart
Then there are others who give us the chop
Just to make furniture to sell in their shop
I wish I could talk then I could explain
That I do have feelings and I do feel the pain
So next time your out you’re bound to see me
Maybe you’ll realise I’m not just a tree


Details | Tanka | |

Strange Love

Why do I love you?
When I look into your face
Your teeth are too big,
That nose is extremely long.
Yet all I want in a dog.

Written by Brenda Meier-Hans 

Copyright © Brenda Meier-Hans

Details | Haiku | |

A Dog's Life

Put on a leash
Sniff sniff sniff sniff
New place to pee

Copyright © Rick Zablocki

Details | Dramatic monologue | |

A Puppy Love

I met you in the city
I introduced myself as Raffy
How glad I met you
Since I don't know what to do..

Each day had passes
And I thought that was the last
I tried to search you again
But the city is vain

Hoping you will see
I search you with glee
At last, I saw you
Kissing to others as much you do

Seeing you in that way
Feels me hard even though your a DOG anyway
But now I don't know what to do
Coz your OWNER is much beautiful than you.....

Copyright © Raffy Relator

Details | Rhyme | |

What to do if a dog bites

I was running from the man

Or the cops if you please

 I hopped over a fence

Landed funny, scraped my knee


Looked around and saw a shack

Hoped for comfort and ease

Like a hooker in church

Sweating on her knees


Peered into that shack

What a shock and surprise

Head like Mount Rushmore

We were lookin eye to eye


Started running for my life

Jesse Owens be proud

Dog snapping on my leg

Not a bark ,not a sound


Almost made it to the fence

With his teeth on my ass

Like a student in school

Was hoping for a pass


Had my back to the fence

Was looking for a stick

That dog drew  first blood

Stream of red like Moby Dick


The end of the story

Had been lookin for fun

Searching for my phone

Called K911

Copyright © Patrick Cornwall

Details | Clerihew | |

A Dog's Tale

Here lies Rover the dog Who always wanted to be a frog Though he hated getting a soak He did however eventually croak

Copyright © Gary Wayne Hill

Details | Quatrain | |

My Life As A Dog

My life as a dog would indeed be fine
Knowing I could nap anywhere, anytime.
On the porch or in a chair,
I could dream without a care.

With my legs, I'd set a pace
And find a cat or car to chase.
If that prusuit for me did fail,
I'd turn around and chase my tail.

With my nose, I'd take in smells
And see what things I could tell.
Like who is cooking, what and where,
Or who passed by, here and there.

With my ears, I could listen good
To the sounds of my neighborhood.
When the sun went down and all was dark,
I'd take heed of the twilight bark.

With my voice, I would make known
Visitors who approached my home.
My bark would make all foes flee,
Yet to friends it'd be welcoming.

With my eyes, I could implore or beg,
For a scrap of food or a pat on the head.
The neatest thing is - is that I could see
In the dark of night, what there might be.

With my tail, I could express
The degree of my happiness.
And when I'd head out on the go,
My tail would wag, to and fro.

For all the ways that I can find
To put myself in a canine's mind,
It's quite plain to see,
My life as a dog would be grand indeed.

Copyright © Tanya Harrington

Details | Limerick | |

The Doggone Dog Contest

I guess it would cause oohs and ahhs
if I wrote of the doggie's doo dahs
So I'd best keep it clean
even though it will mean
this 'tale' will be wagging the dog, haha.

Copyright © Sharon Tideswell

Details | Rhyme | |

When Fur Flies And Worlds Collide

Some years ago I fell on hard times.
So my friend took me in and my cat Kiwi too.
At times life speaks in rhythm and rhymes.
We had adventures and this story's true.

She had Simba who was a huge dog.
Sometimes the cat and dog would fight.
Simba usually slept like a log.
While Kiwi prowled all through the night.

One day I tried to protect my kitty.
So into the master bedroom I threw her.
Unknown to me this was such a pity.
For suddenly there was flying fur!

Seems Simba was in there taking a snooze.
Kiwi landed smack on his back.
Out they charged and began to cruise.
Galloping like a pony,nothing left intact.

Kitty dug in her claws;held on for dear life.
Doggy whimpered as he flew room to room.
Those claws were sharp as a razor knife.
This magic carpet ride bound for doom.

We laughed so hard we nearly spit.
To see kitty taking this rough ride.
We couldn't help but roll with it.
Suddenly Simba flipped on his backside.

Down flew Kiwi over his head.
Off she ran , somewhere to hide.
Simba glanced around with dread.
That was sure some crazy ride!

written March 13th, 2014

Copyright © Deb Wilson

Details | Verse | |

Randomlings 1-34

Randomling 1:  Matthew Macfadyen

I believe I'm in love with Matthew Macfadyen
He inspires in me a terribly bad yen
But as poetry goes
His name 'spires woes
Cause nothing rhymes with "Macfadyen”.

Randomling 2: Birthday Wishes
For my birthday, I would like a man.
I wonder---can you get one from a can?
Or maybe from a catalog?
Maybe I'll just get a dog.

Randomling 3: Yet Another Cat Poem

toddlers in fur
senior citizens with retractable claws
lions in their own minds
lunch in the minds of dogs.

Randomling 4:  Desert Woes

A sage river in a field of sand:
         so flows hope in a barren land;
                   the crippled heart in prosthetic steel,
                             hacked and scarred, a vulture’s meal.

Randomling 5:  Dark Poetry

Follow poetry to its source;
There find heartbreak and remorse.
Follow poetry to the bitter end,
And there find death, its bosom friend.

Randomling 6: Ode to Bananas

an underappreciated fruit
sentenced to banananality
because yellow is their long suit.

Randomling 7: Untitled  

this heart is closed to deposits.
There's no more room for pain.

Randomling 8: Untitled

My heart is sealed in a cold steel vault,
and I’ve lost the combination.

Randomling 9: Joyce Kilmer 2015

I think that I shall never see
A man as useful as a tree.
One has uses by the score;
The other one is apt to snore.

Randomling 10:  Bedtime Prayers

Now I lay me down to sleep,
A leaden heart is mine to keep.
If I should die before I wake--
Now there’s an offer I’d gladly take.   

Randomling 11:  The Devil Wind

Fury with a smoky tail
Eddies of destruction
Deceitful beauty, enchanting danger
Death sporting a makeover

Randomling 12:  A Boy's Best Friend

Your penis—it is not a toy
I told my little son.
O yes it is, he parried me
It's quite my favorite one.

Randomling 13:  Fault Lines

I have a bathroom mirror
that's grown faulty over time.
My reflection is no longer true;
it's developed little lines!

Randomling 14:  Shakespeare 101		

“To be or not to be. That is the question.”
--What question?
THE question!
--Whaddya mean, THE question?
Never mind.																		

Randomling 15: Christmas?

Peace on earth to men of good credit
Who give the gift of corporate profit
in the holy name of commercialism.

Randomling 16:  Musical Believer

Though my conscience sleeps,
wrapped in the Valium of
agnosticism, it awakens to 
the music of Mozart--
once more knowing God
by the sound of His voice.

Randomling 17: Vacuum

I didn't write a poem when you died.
The words would not come.
Perhaps I felt too deeply,
perhaps not enough;
maybe I died too.   10/06/01

Randomling 18: Insanity

Insanity is underrated
Its drawbacks,much overstated.
How else to do what you darn well please
And accomplish it with so much ease?

Randomling 19: Dog Day Afternoon

salt, waves, undertow
I don't know what's going
on here, but I'm HAPPY!

Randomling 20: Opposites Attract

i am matter---love, antimatter
never to meet save to explode
i am space, love is time
parallel dimensions never to meet

Randomling 21: Puppy Love

I ride a leaky newspaper raft
Adrift on the linoleum
Anxiously awaiting an
An attack of smelly
squirming happiness
covered in fuzz:
Puppy love.

Randomling 22: Newton's Poultice

Apple falls from tree
Newton (ouch!) takes notice
Comes up with law of gravity
while wearing a poultice
on the solstice

Randomling 23: Ticking

And the clock on the wall kept on ticking
while my life fell apart all around me.
Sweet memories faded to shadow
as my heart fell to pieces inside me.
And the clock on the wall kept on ticking
Relentlessly ticking, ticking
While my life fell apart all around me.

Randomling 24: Untitled

a mosaic assembled from
shimmering, glimmering
tiles of delight and
black-glazed stones of despair
interlocking snowflakes
in seamless beauty

Randomling 25: Seasonal Lament
Daylight shrinks end at both end as summer falls into the arm of winter. arm
Randomling 26: Untitled
I didn't want to love you.
Randomling 27: Pills Depression is days and nights curled fetal-like in a dark room, no interest in the world outside, idly wondering if there are enough pills in the bottle to kill you, then thinking it's not worth the effort to find out because you're dead inside already. Randomling 28: Guilt By Association Fresh morning light frames the cat, surrounded by piles of dirt and deceased plants, looking innocent. Randomling 29: Bell the Cat How do you give a cat a bath? Maybe you can do the math. All I know is she stinks to high heaven. And of us there are only seven. How many humans to bathe a cat? Definitely more than where we're at! Randomling 30: Muse
I want to write a poem using the word gossamer. “Gossamer.”
Randomling 31: Ripples
Canoes rock gently under the waxing moon. Black water ripples, painting a beautiful scene under the scented pines.
Randomling 32: Sunshine Waterfall I cleanse my face in a sunshine waterfall, luxuriate in a sunshine shower. Waterfall flow and warm me; sprinkle lemon drops through my hair. Randomling 33: Salon Treatment Hurricanes scour everything they touch, then rinse and blow dry. Randomling 34: My Window Blue sky pokes its face through the canopy of trees. Heat wave is over!

Copyright © Mary Oliver Rotman

Details | Light Poetry | |

The Cat and the Dog (an overheard conversation)

"My word," said the cat,"you certainly do stink.
Methinks water's for bathing, not just to drink!"

"Retract those sharp claws," the dog stifled a yawn,
"I get plenty clean when I roll on the lawn."

"So much for you dogs having a great sense of smell,"
cat wrinkled his nose and whipped his long tail,
"now you just stink like the hinges of Hell."

"Get lost," snarled the dog, "with your sense of perfection,
"you only act sweet when you want some affection."

"At least they can kiss me," the old cat purred,
"without holding their noses since you smell like a turd."

"I am Man's Best Friend," the dog said with great pride,
"and I got that way by not being so snide."

"YOU'RE Man's best friend?" the cat said with a hoot,
"I feel sorry for Man, if that is the truth!"

"Don't make me get up," the old dog growled,
"I'll tear off your head," his eyes looking wild.

"I have speed for protection,"
he stretched with feline perfection,
"and as I go now, I fart
 in your general direction."

©Danielle White

Copyright © Danielle White

Details | Narrative | |


My son and his family drove down from the big city,
out to the countryside with open fields and steams.
They brought their standard golden poodle along, 
a curly-haired fellow, name of Timmy.
Timmy had never seen a cat;
not even a mole or a furry rat.
Visiting country kin, he was checking things out.

Everything went fine that very first day.
Cats went about paying him no mind.
He walked about just passing time.
On that second day there was a big mistake.
Being a city dog with more worldy ways,
to add pleasure to his hum-drum days,
he thought it time to befriend these country kin.
The cats had never seen a dog this small,
only those on stilts, big, long and tall, 
like Pyrenees, big wide mouths and teeth to match.
With barking big dogs on the scene,
up a tree they squirreled, never to be seen.
But this golden-haired fellow, with city clout--
they’d give him benefit of instinctive doubt.

Mama cat was even so bold 
to sniff this city slicker right on the nose.
Sizing him up all the while, a friendly rat, she surmised,
a might bigger than some she had seen,
playing cat and mouse, yet acting so coy;  
that is, until that overgrown golden-haired rat  
walked up to Mama’s black baby boy.

Mama’s two other sons, another black and a blue,
began to gather nearer this city dweller, too.
Timmy politely extended his nose.
black son cat extended his razor-sharp claws,
with a bristled tail and fierce hissing jaws. 
Timmy let out with a painful yelp,
as Mama cat called all boys in for help.

Cats surrounded and gave chase to the dog,
life-fearing circles around the cedar tree he’d log;
four hissing cats hot on his tail,
poor Timmy yelping in a desperate wail.
The master of Timmy gave rescue,  
but Mama cat and her three grown sons,
strutting in pride, putting a dog on the run. 

Written by:  Carolyn Henderson
For Constance LaFrance's Cat Poem Contest
Won 9th Place

Copyright © Carolyn Henderson

Details | Rhyme | |

The Hunter

               Running back and forth from hither and far. We always make sure
               he's not under the car. 

               The look of an eagle from six inches down . He'll snatch it and grab it ,
               if it touches the ground.

               Always going , never to stop . Searching and sniffing up ending
               each rock .

               Heart of a lion , jaws like a trap. In the hay barn , I fear , tremble
               the rats .

               For once he sets his sight to kill, for love or sport or just the thrill .
               He'll get his prey with out delay and live to fight again.

               But now he dreams and naps and snores ,the entire day away .
               He needs his rest to be the best . To come and sit and stay .

                                                * 8th place *
                              Dachshund contest by Rob Carmack



Copyright © Bev Smith

Details | Limerick | |

A Dog

A dog went to the vet today He saw a horse eating hay got a fleabite and set alight and asked for an action replay! Dorian Petersen Potter aka ladydp2000 copyright@2014 10.16.2014

Copyright © Dorian Petersen Potter