I do not know?
Tempers and attitudes in our house did stay
Guess it was because we were raised that way
Things could get bad when one of us got mad
If you escaped unhurt, then be really glad
For the attitudes would flare
And tempers would rage
We were all quite violent for our age
With our fists our problems were solved
I know that may sound unorthodox to all
But in our home, an evil ruled
In being mean, we were schooled
My brother and sister were taught well
Mess with them and you’ll pay hell
One day while they were playing together
Sitting by the stove because of cold weather
My brother had taken sis’s doll away
With her, this was not how to play
She got mad and started to cry
My brother laughed as he watched her whine
Well then she thought that little brat
If he wants to fight, then I’ll just fight back
So into the ashes from under the stove
She reached in and pulled out a bolt
A bolt from a rail road tie I believe
And trust me when I say they’re big
She turned around and without a word
A big loud crack from his head could be heard
Golden blonde hair now soaked with blood
I had watched from where I stood
This little girl with such cute curls
Has proven that she’ll rock your world
If you mess with her or her dolls
You’d better run at least three miles
For her revenge is not too good
My brother knows and this is understood
For underneath that cute exterior
Is the soul of a very brave warrior
There once was a monkey named Frank
Who loved to walk the plank
He said too many jokes
Pulled too many hoaxe-s
Ha! Ha! Ha! Then he got a good spank
Who's that monkey in front of me
I dare to hang with you on a tree
Oh! What I do? Will you do?
Together we are like glue
Is that my flea or your flea?
~ Skat ~
Bigfoot had a bubbling baby brother—
They labeled him "lively little foot!"
A boy asked his dad, “What the elections are for, after all, Dad?”
The dad replied,” I have the money, I’m manager of you all, Lad?”
All money I have, give it to your mom so she is the Government
Maid, a working class, you the people, your brother commitment”
The boy woke up as baby brother soiled diapers that night
Went to his mom’s room and found her alone asleep tight.
So he went to maid’s room, found his Dad in bed with her
The angry boy banged on the door but nobody did bother
The next day he said to his dad that he has been fully fed,
You explain it to me son, in your own words, asked his Dad.
“The management is screwing, the government asleep tight
The people are ignored and the commitment not in sight”.
Secon place winner in
Contest: Election Humor by Carolyn devonshire
Seventh place win in P.d.'s contest June'11
Farm boys, farm boys, go and do your chores
Better take your hat for it’s sunny out-of-doors
Farm boys, farm boys, gotta milk those cows
Milk-em twice a day and feed the hungry sows
Make your mother butter in the butter churn
Argue with your brother when you think it’s not your turn
Measure off the distance you both will have to run
Where it is you’ll need to go to get the milking done
Toe the mark to challenge your brother at the gate
Divvy up the pails to balance out the weight
Farm boys being farm boys down there on the farm
And you’ll milk the cows if I beat you to the barn
Everyone is dressed just right,
with our smiles slapped on tight,
we are having a family dinner.
The mood is tense,
yet we have to make sense,
and we can always talk about the weather.
We blow kisses and show our love,
everything is just right.
We shower praises over each other,
and pray that the night is over without a flight.
Ignore the bitter-in-law,
she needs some sugar.
She vowed to deny herself happiness,
since she lost her lover.
Pay attention to the chatty uncle.
He claims to be rich although he eats like a savage.
just nod your head and seem interested,
and hope the topic does not turn to marriage.
Sit away from the young brother,
once an answer to his question, he is on to another.
To the old man he asks,"So what do you do?"
and to the orphan child,"Where is your mother?"
The room is beautiful, the food is delicious,
a night with our near and dear.
This could well be the perfect family dinner,
but only the flowers in the room seem real.
I think my brother’s a werewolf!
It’s hard to believe but so true!
At dusk he is like a great beast!
He’s hairy and scary; bearded too!
He’s never around in the daytime.
He sneaks out with a creepy girl.
I have a feeling that someday,
she’ll eat his gross flesh... and then hurl!
I see red bumps on his forehead
that count the days ‘till a full moon.
I sure hope he’s not contagious!
Or I’ll be a werewolf quite soon!
Scratching his head doing homework!
Wetting his bed while he’s asleep!
These are just a few of the signs
proving that he’s a monstrous creep!
I went to my mother and told her
about my brother superbly.
Then she giggled and simply said,
“Dear, he’s going through puberty!”
It’s My Birthday
It’s my birthday… I look out the window there is no one for me owe so, owe so lonely poor me .
It’s my birthday… you surprise me, with a Barber-Q grill with a cooler that chills with a grin we show white grills.
Happy Birthday… it’s my Birthday I am still waiting, it is almost the end of my the day, just waiting on you to wish me a happy birthday which, well make my day.
It’s my birthday…you do not remember that day, can we go out for we can remember that day?
It’s my birthday… I can share it or alone, some share it with a twin, or with a friend and the ones who stay to the ends like a good friend.
It my birthday… its looks like another day to me I just need someone or something to comfort with me a room full of women and with hand full men, a juice in cup, juice in glass, with a sweet lady and grill on cut grass that may make every day feel like my birthday, with a touch of class.
It’s your birthday… it’s your birthday you should all-ways win on your birthday, if do not have a mate you sneak and go on second party date form those who may player hate.
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday! it comes and go, I see you come through, looking out my window with a hand full company that is what a party really should need, yes it’s sweet, sweet with music and sweet with treats or it must be the money, or food, or brinks, or just me.
Poetry 7/7/12 by author Keith K. Relf
My brother was first at the table
to pile six pancakes on his plate.
I don’t know how he stayed so skinny
given the amount that he ate.
My daddy had made the hot syrup
from white sugar or so he had thought.
After one bite my brother was choking,
hair rising as though he’s besot.
Then Dad yelled ,”Don’t pour the syrup.
Instead of sugar, I grabbed Epsom Salt. "
Won No. 5
He starts singing songs of Ireland and we are home in a jiffy
"What's a jiffy," my mother wonders
"Guess where we went Granny?"
"I don't know but I have a feeling you are gonna tell me," answers my grandmother
"And Don't call me Granny!"
"We went to church so Poppy could ask secret questions."
"The priest gave Poppy a shot and a beer and Poppy sent me next store and he gave me money for taffy."
"He told me not to tell anyone especially you about the priest cause it's only for the priests ears."
"He said God would take away taffy and I'd never get another goodie and God would strike me dead if I told."
"So I can't tell anyone."
"He did," and she starts yelling and grabs a weapon,"what kind of idiot would be scaring a little child?"
Granny is standing on Poppy's toes and and asking him questions of where he'd been and getting a sniff of his breath
"So what did you tell the priest and him giving you consolation and a shot and beer."
"That little rat ," and thinks about the money for candy
Later, Granny is chasing Poppy with that big iron frying pan and poppy running and singing
"In Heaven they have no beer, that's why we drink it here."
"You damn fool I'm gonna bust you in the head, "and throws the pan at his head
Cousin Francis has bill collectors come to the house looking for him
Granny was four foot seven inches and she starts kicking him in the shin
My Mother grabs his Dick Tracy hat and she jumps on it and flattens it
I ask my mom where I was when this happened and she pauses
" You were in Heaven Patrick waiting with your brother!"
The truancy officers bang on the door and want to know where Uncle Charles is
Granny shrugs and says, "He is upstairs and the sound of the window going up sounds
They all run upstairs and see Uncle sliding down the tree and running as fast as his
seven year legs can move
He comes home later that evening holding a goose under his arm
And Poppy has a soft-boiled goose egg for breakfast every morning
I ask Uncle what happened to that goose and He said,"one day he came home and
they had chicken for dinner."
And Poppy was gone to heaven to get me and my brother ready Mom says
And Granny sits my brother and me on her lap and says,"you two knuckleheads listen up."
"This is very important so don't forget it."
"Treat people the way you want to be treated, because you never know who is going to hand you your last glass of water"