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Funny Beauty Poems | Funny Poems About Beauty

These Funny Beauty poems are examples of Funny poems about Beauty. These are the best examples of Funny Beauty poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Rhyme | |

My Fair Maiden

I called upon yonder window That was up to high for me to be For my maiden gracefully sleeps there In her bed,beside the sea I asked her to come hither For her beautiful face I yearned to see Twas yawning in the morning dew As she slowly came to the window for me To my amazement came forth a ragged wench Whos hair was as raged as the sea With eyes that were burnt as nightposts To bloodshot and squinty to even see For this was not my fair maiden? Whos beauty would forever be But a drunken harlot who came hither That she spent the night with instead of me My heart now broken to pieces Wondering how could this tragedy be? For my maiden now sleeps with a harlot? Without the love that she once gave to me? My mind was now enraged So I dashed for the wrestling sea With thoughts of drowning this useless body That's no longer good enough for my maiden to see With water just over waist height And a large wave about to crash over me I heard a calling from yonder window Twas my beautiful maiden as I turned to see Her beautiful eyes in such distress Her beautiful hair flowing so care free Twas the beauty of my fair maiden That I had called upon yonder window to see For the thoughts that raced through my mind Evidently,weren't truely what happend to be For it was her promiscuous sister Who had come from the other side of the sea My heart now rebuilt with a sigh of love A large wave suddenly crashes over me The last thing I saw was my fair maiden As my lifeless body is carried out by the sea
DannyBoy:1-24-13


Details | Rhyme | |

Fatal Beauty

I'm so doggone ugly,
I look like a faded roach;
If I were a pile of roadkill,
The buzzards wouldn't approach!

Oh sweet mirror on the wall,
Why stab me in the back?
You tell me that I'm beautiful,
Then fall to the floor and crack!

I went to a local photographer,
Here's something you won't believe,
He took one look at this ugly mug,
And paid me just to leave!

I can't go to the chicken coop,
To gather a single egg;
Those hens won't let me enter,
Unless I grovel and beg!

I never committed a crime,
Though my picture's on the wall;
Ugliness is a criminal act,
It's certainly against the law!

A cop pulled me over,
I asked what I did wrong;
He took one look at this sourpuss,
And said..."Nuthin', please go home!"

When I walk by flower beds,
The petals begin to wilt;
Every time I play pinball,
The game automatically tilts!

I married an ugly woman,
Someone uglier than me;
We bought ourselves an ugly dog,
Now we're as happy as can be!


Details | Free verse | |

Princesses

Pretty princesses
Dancing all around
Frolicking through fields
Very beautiful
Just like you!


Details | Rhyme | |

Four frogs on a log

Four Frogs On A Log.

Four frogs were lazing in the sun
When a log came floating by.
So the frogs all scrambled on to it
With happy little cries.
Not one of them had sailed before
And it was so much fun
But then it was, the big debate begun.

One frog said "Ain't that something
This log is so alive.
It moves along so easily
Now don't you think, you guys?".
"It's not the log that moves you twerp!!"
Said another thinking frog.
It be the river moving, not the log!!

"Oh no, no ,no" a third frog said
The both of you be wrong
It's not the log, the river neither 
It's your mind that moves along.
The moving be your thinking
Without it nothing be.
And those three did get to arguing
And never did agree.

The fourth frog said "you all be right
Not one of you be wrong.
The log it moves, the river moves
And the mind moves it along".
At that the other three got mad
For each did yearn to win.
So they grabbed that wise old frog and threw him in.

Socrares Feb 16 2004


Details | Light Poetry | |

Bayou Mermaid

I was fishing with Dub “Stinky” Crank
down on Bayou Rumpawpaw.
We were in Dub’s old rusty boat;
it didn’t have any noticeable leaks,
so we deemed it to be seaworthy.
We weren’t having a good day of fishing,
caught a couple or three goggle-eye.
We were doing more drinking than fishing,
so we really didn’t care.
Then, to our surprise,
a mermaid appeared right there by the boat.
She said her name was Jewel,
could have been,
who knows when a mermaid’s lying.
It was love at first sight for old Dub,
but then again, he was drunk.


Details | Sonnet | |

Pillow Talk Abuse - Andrea Dietrich

PILLOW TALK ABUSE     (collaboration)


by~ Andrea Dietrich

Again you’re droning on and on and on. 
Yada, yada, yada, yada, yada. 
My time for beauty sleep will soon be gone. 
Why can’t you close your eyes? 
You know you oughta. 
Just press those lips together tight and zip! 
My lids are getting heavy as you talk. 
So now I offer you this little tip. 
Why don’t you go outside and take a walk? 
The clear night air might open up your mind.
Before you kill the bush you’re beating round. 
You’re killing ME; I hate to be unkind, 
But when I start to doze, I hear that sound . . . 
Yakety, yakety, yakety, yakety, yak. . . 
Please shut your trap. 
We’ve long since hit the sack!


by~ Poet Destroyer

Congratulations for thinking your work is done.
You may be tired  but you’re not the only one.
I sure hope you like spending your time all alone
All the young ones are grown and away from home.
So, I have no choice to yap yap yap' when you're around.
But, I do this to annoy, before my other annoying snoring sound.
Ever since I remember the beauty line is to late.
Don't forget my yapping mouth is what brings dinner to your plate?
But think of the funny way you want me to zip my lips tight.
My yakety yak is what gets me going through the night.
Retire your eyes else where, if you can't hear me out!
Wouldn't you rather me beat the bush, than to hear me shout.
Your ungrateful ways are like a sleeping pill.
Talking to you is like talking to a wall~ " oh! What a thrill!"
Maybe if you say a word or two, your mouth would put me to sleep
So my dear, talking to you is better than counting sheep.


A collaboration with * ANDREA DIETRICH

My collaboration contest


Details | Light Poetry | |

My Telephone Version 2

Winter nights, the darkness comes quick
Key in door, to an empty house
Jacket falls fast right on the floor
I stare at the stand, at the telephone for sure

There she sits, alone, unmoving
No blinking light
No message at all
From a lovers voice or even a call from the mall

The ritual is the same, night after night
I pick up the phone, yes dial tone is there
I check the wires, all attached with great care
Its not broken, same as this morning

I confess, yes I stare at the phone over there

The phone is a functioning, I am assured
I call the weather line, yes a test but I was bored
They tell me is all sunny up over yonder
So no one calls me, of this I must ponder

I confess yes I stare, at the dark phone sitting there

Maybe the answering system parts are malfunctioning
Maybe she really did some exotic oh calling
Oh what I am saying, she’s out to the ball
While I look at telephone, alone in the hall

I confess yes I stare, I stare and stare

So another night, outside shines the bright city lights
I open the door to the darkness in fright
For oh my god, I see a blinking light
My heart beats in excitement, this is surely the night

I stare at a ringing telephone

Oh my what a delight!!!!!!!!

Click
Wrong number

Now I am distressed, depressed, redressed
I am at my wits end I must confess
Another evening I sit here alone
Just me and my silent old black phone

I stare a that contraption then the abscess of the night

Like all of the nights in 2014
I will sleep in a bed, with no hug or ice-cream
The pleasures of life, belong not to me
Me and my phone will never be set free

So now it’s New Years Eve, party hat and good cheer
I sit alone with my phone, to ring in the New Year
Oh the irony yes I did see
For the phone is as silent as the heart inside me

I stare at the past; I stare at the wall

Where I contemplate tossing the phone, cord and all
Then it rings, and shocks me out of my trance
2015 has arrived with a telephone call!!!!! so happy I dance!!!!
Cause this time she called, god bless romance

Happy New Year  


Details | Light Poetry | |

Double Jointed

Betsey is double jointed.
Many men find that fact
very sexually stimulating.
I don’t understand their fascination.
The fact that Betsey can bend over backwards
and kiss her own butt makes me cringe.
Although I must admit that Betsey
has a very shapely keister.


Details | Epic | |

My Bitter Sweet Dance With A Stranger

She rotates under the balance of my hands sweet memories we derive unfamiliar dance steps, mistakes already reaching five but with the reception of her smile, I thrive. The stream of her tender archive into it I completely dive even when our minds sometimes disagree with the jive mysteriously to our pleasure, both hearts connive. Gradually clicking and stepping the motion is set, we drive our bodies, dependent on each other like the bee and its hive envious cohesion, sweet emotions and heated passions we unconsciously contrive our heartbeat, impulses and gazes taking over despite the melody of the music so alive. The licks of our skins and my loan of her waist are taking this dance to a level we won’t survive a lot in both minds which all stimulate and also deprive. Our thoughts so secretive yet having one loud voice as we strive the gossip of my body rhythm says it all “I am so ready to swive” The bell of caution rings my senses and morality revive as the sign of a “no trespass” is conspicuous on her delightful finger.


Details | Free verse | |

Self PORTRAIT

I will start with using my hand as a guide
And in the end I will open my eyes that I will decide

I consider to do this with one thing in mind
I will close my eyes and will imagine it blind
With no colors or fractionation of the light
Just plain me and a vision with my hand as my sight

My hair is very coarse and some what fine
What I just described is so benign  
I twirl my hair and make it bend 
And I will say its very clean not oily on the ends

As I press on my forehead I simply feel a distinct part
I notice from hair to skin it is very different from the start
The simple partings from hair not like skin
I am going to feel with my other hand and begin

The smoothness of my skin like years of water eroding a rough rock surface smooth
Not just that my skin is like home to years of stories like scars and attitude
And when I raise my eyebrows the wrinkles it makes is more so for expression
I did not notice it with certain ideas, thoughts, and emotions

I run my hands down to my eyelids I feel movement of my eyes trying to peek
Eyelids that I have, vibrates with some kind of fear, Why?, that I will seek
Just now as I thought about it a sensation ran through my brain
My eyes is the world to me and that is true and not insane

Myself portrait of me is through my touch for now
But to finish it I will have to open my eyes soon and how
I been in a trance full of so many ideas just with my eyes closed
I run my hand on my nose and lips and I smile who could apposed

The feelings in the tip of my fingers rub on my chin and jaw with care
I do notice roughness of unshaved velcro gripping hair 
I skip my ears so I will sneak a feel with my fingers I chose
I notice it is like my nose with cartilage, so I don't suppose

I will now open my eyes that I will use a mirror to see myself
My head is oval shape and my neck is like a stump, please help
My skin is very tan and my eyes are brown with my eyes I see
With all the description with my hands, one sure thing is the same and key

It is the description of measurements that is what my hands and eyes can see me
With a smile I am looking into the mirror and I can describe that I am happy
Myself portrait of me is such a way to get to know myself once more
I will never think it was a waste of time or a bore




Details | Free verse | |

Ridiculous Me

Watch this scene with both eyes and try not to blink C: --> 

I stood there... silently
Like a predator near prey 
I sneak behind YOU

You weren't even aware of it!! Ha-ha! 

I made YOU jump hIgH
Like a startled hare
I chuckle and smile

You know that mischievous smile of mine? 

Your reaction was
PRICELESS - you were so upset
But YOU forgave me

Well...I'm flattered. . . 

We laugh'd together (just like the good times)
In a chorus - our volume
Picked up extreme sound

Believe me - I could hear our laughter from a mile away!

But I'm glad I did
My best to make you giggle

Ridiculous me... 
Wouldn't you agree?


Details | ABC | |

The Vent

im livin in a world, where all eyes on me.
trying to curve my own route.
but route 66 keeps finding its way to me.
ive been plenty sick, in all the events layed before me.
even when i reflect to my lowest points
i dont regret any of the choices
That I’ve deployed in my era
A lot of it by error, but hey
We live in hell conditions and there ain’t no air condition 
Or any guidelines when life throws you in the sidelines
But when hindsight twenty twenty hits
You’ll begin to understand life’s a bunch of equations and you in the mix of it
An you’ll have to think twice, before running into a situation and becoming the best of it
Situations
it’s what got me here, it’s what got us here
Ran with my thoughts blazing up to her place and
Guess what happened next
She opened up heaven’s gate
And just before late I slipped out
Simply put 
I’m a Grown ass man
Doin his thing, waitin to blow up like an old land mine
In doin what he drools over
But time after time 
Something decides to creep up and cover the light
Lost my way
Then I revoked to ever know, I ever thought that way
But in the in between time, that in the mean time 
Spent a lot of time
Gettin pissed off just to medicate and lift off
Don’t need Don Perion to sip off
Already had my way with the bottle
Even thought to get back with the trouble and rejoin the hustle
That’s just what happens to a man who really knows his old ways
Whos tired of making ends meet and ponders getting back to the streets.
Memory sets in and he remembers an O.G. saying
No matter how tall your pockets stand when you ball
Eventually times gonna make you fall
Fall
And I as I pull myself together 
I don’t wanna end up like the twin towers rubble
I mean no offence to nine eleven but at that time I probably could have used a reverend
But all that’s irrelevant now
because i live with a different perspective now

there you go you made it to the end :-) comment if you like, constructive criticism wanted as well.


Details | Rhyme | |

Clara

 .      
                       Clara, my beloved guitar player
                  Beauty was the mystery of her
             Wonderment of her eye husked with passion
        Dread of a lifetime intonation cleft a glimpse of perfection
           She clipped the string as I nod within that melody
                Her pure slimy fingers trimmed the guitar's abnormality 
                    She plough the strings while I was clouded with suspense
                        She broke her hip after shunning the guitar’s defiance 
                            Hours later, I admit, this beauty was a coincidence


Details | Rhyme | |

The Beauty Of Women

Women are a thing of beauty Created by God for man From their different hips,to their lushes lips Or the gentle touch of their hand They all have a way about them That I've noticed throughout the years They have tender hearts,and precious smiles With beautiful eyes that sparkle,when filled with tears But they constantly look at other women Though none will tell you that it's true From their styles of hair,to the clothes they ware It's a hidden secret that they all do Some will say that I'm wrong As they claim,"Hey that's not me" But I'm a man who has watched for many years And am now exposing the secret that I've seen Some of them are concerned about their weight Or possibly the droopiness of their breasts Or the stretch marks that may have appeared some where Along with menopause,PMS,and all the rest All I can say is we are men Who don't really notice most of those things You are all beautiful in your own special ways And you will always be a part of our dreams
DannyBoy:1-16-13 © Ha,ha.. :oP


Details | Light Poetry | |

Dear Santa

Santa, I do confess
I feel a little bit strange
A middle aged man sitting on your knee
Whispering into your ear, my grandest wish
Let us both hope people do not get the wrong idea here
I am at my wits end Dear Santa
All I want for Christmas
Is for her to call me
So that I may here her voice
Like a musical saga
A symphony of  Celtic dreams
The honey that flows deep into my heart
The sweetness that grows in my soul

Am I demanding too much?
Of this earthly world
That I, demand heavenly wishes
That I dream in colors unreal
That I cry for things that seem the impossible
The North Pole and all its promise
Dream
Oh but I must dream, dream or die

No more dreams
Is death for sure
Let me not be murdered
By a phone that rings not


ps
Dear Santa

I am disappointed, no poetry memberships, no phone calls in the night from lovers
No mistletoe even in me dreams, Gaelic winds blow cold over me heart
Id ask for a train set, but the way things are going you’d give me a train wreck
Bloody hell on you Santa, you must be busy helping nice people, cheers anyways


Details | Rhyme | |

Love is

What is that thing that is called love? 
Some people believe it is a gift from above 

Others say it brings nothing but pain 
Maybe it is a one way train 
When you take your path 
You could never go back again 

It may take you to the happiness door 
Or maybe make you taste life's sore! 

Maybe love is just like the rain 
You never know how hard it would be 
Or how long it would last 
Love could come so fast 
I mean love from the first sight 
Or it could take so long time 
to be meant to be.. to be so right 
Love could put you into darkness 
And could bring you the brightest light! 

Love is like the fire 
Such a mysterious desire 
But weather it is going to warm your heart 
Or burn your home 
You can never forsee it from the start 
You can never tell 
If It is going to lead you to heavens 
Or is it going to lead you to hell! 

Love could take you from the cold 
And make you feel so warm 
Love is like a rose 
Beautiful but also with thorns that could harm! 

Love could be like glass 
If you dropp it, it shatters 
And never be put completly back together 
But love can also be like porceline 
Never cracks & stays forever 

It is so strange 
How could such a small word hold so many contradictories? ! 
A small word but with so many question marks 
It is such a complicated feeling 
That confuses any human being! 

As for me.. I'm just a young little girl 
Trying to know what is love? ! 
Simply for me 
Love is like a white dove 
Flying so high 
Up.. Up in the baby blue sky 

So far for me to reach 
But If I only understand it 
To the whole world I would teach 

Love is so precious 
Love is a treasure 
Love is not cheap 
Love is when you can't fall asleep 
For reality is better than dreams 
And life is sweeter than it seams 

Love comes from the heart 
Not the brain 
You don't know when it starts 
You don't think about it 
You just feel it over and over again 

Love is not Just the saying of words 
But the giving of one self 
Love is caring 
Love is daring 
And most of All 
Love is sharing 

Love is not to live in fears 
Love is not a matter of counting years 
But making the years count 

Love is 
Telling, listening, understanding, 
Respecting the truth and never pretending 
True love does NOT have a happy ending! 
True love does NOT have an ending! 

Love.. some say it is blind 
But I say 
Love gives you a third eye 
To make it easy for you to find 
Who is worthy? ! !


Details | Limerick | |

New Year's Resolution inspired by John Cameron Swayze

Author's Note:  If you have never seen the advertising contributions of John Cameron Swayze, take a moment to watch a few of his videos.  Then, enjoy this limerick (which in combination with the videos) provides some interesting inspiration for the new year.  

We suggest a vagina's for sex
And hope the possessor expects
To take a licking
And keep on ticking
Over and over like a Timex 


Details | Rhyme | |

The Beauty Of Women- Continued

Well it was another one of those days Where the devil had come about I was trying to write about the beauty of women And the words just came right out What I was trying to say was their all beautiful to me And most men that I know would be sure to agree But the words that I wrote that flew out so free May have started a hate for me that I shall soon see Now I'll spend my days all alone,and affraid to leave this house For a woman might sneak up and try to strangle me with her blouse I should have never wrote those words because I'm a spouse And now my wife probably thinks I'm nothin more than a louse But what I was trying to say was somethin most men will all agree You don't need to always compare yourselves for it's something we all see Your shoes,your clothes,your hair,your nails, it all just drives us so crazy You all have your own beautiful look so please accept it and just let it be I never meant to degrade you in anyway or to cause you any alarm But the hits those words received seems like I may be heading for some harm So I ask for your forgiveness and please don't send out your women of arms Because I told the men in my neighborhood,and their quite handy with their charms
DannyBoy 1-17-13


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

who says

I wouldn't wanna be anybody else, hey 
You made me insecure, to me I wasn't good enough 
But who are you to judge When you're a diamond in the rough
 I'm sure you got some things You'd like to change about yourself
 But when it comes to me I wouldn't want to be anybody else
 I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me You got every right to a beautiful life, 
come on
 Who says, who says you're not perfect 
Who says you're not worth it 
Who says you're the only one that's hurting 
Trust me that's the price of beauty Who says you're not pretty Who says you're not beautiful, who says?
 It's such a funny thing How nothing's funny when it's you 
You tell 'em what you mean But they keep whitin' out the the truth
 It's like the work of art That never get to see the light Keep you beneath the stars Won't let you touch the sky
 I'm no beauty queen, I'm just beautiful me You got every right to a beautiful life,
 come on
 Who says, who says you're not perfect 
Who says you're not worth it 
Who says you're the only one that's hurting 
Trust me that's the price of beauty 
Who says you're not pretty
 Who says you're not beautiful, who says?
 Who says you're not star potential Who says you're not presidential Who says you can't be in movies Listen to me, listen to me
 Who says you don't pass the test 
Who says you can't be the best Who said, who said? 
Would you tell me who said that, yeah Who said
 Who says, who says you're not perfect
 Who says you're not worth it 
Who says you're the only one that's hurting 
Trust me that's the price of beauty 
Who says you're not pretty 
Who says you're not beautiful, who says?
 Who says you're not perfect 
Who says you're not worth it 
Who says you're the only one that's hurting 
Trust me that's the price of beauty Who says you're not pretty Who says you're not beautiful, who says


Details | Ballade | |

An Ellice Island - In search of KindRed Soul

Long miles of tedious journey,
Missing my darling honey.
Travelling impatiently, spend thousands of 
money, 
Hope god will bless me with ma lucky soul 
at this season.

Equatorial island exploring its amazed 
beauty, glittering with immersed grasses.
Wrapped by queens necklaced small lake 
aside, at the outskirts of dalhousie.
My heart dwelled into its god gifted 
creativity,
When the night lime lighted,
Millions of stars scattered around 
charming moon.
As if its was a wondering boon.
Lucky enough for landing with my next 
hop.

Eagerly waiting for my heart chaser,
Girl passed near by, few seconds later.
Flaming beauty mould my soul.
Topped with innocence, ready for my 
auspicious goal.
Her chic appearance,
Her innocent appeal.
Strucking heart raised with high beats..
Awaited for our romantic date in ma 
upcoming meet.

Frequency of our nature matched.
Stolen Eyes of each other were catched.
Strings of our heart whistled 
synchronously.
Everything had happened miraclelously.
I rebelled the three precious words of 
romantic dictionary.
Accepting my red rose, She blushed.

At event of recreation, campfire were 
ignited.
Nobody around us, private moments 
between we two spotlighted.
Playing guitar, she sinked with every beat,
That's the coincidence our eyes again 
meet.
Hand in hand danced with the soothing 
romantic theme,
Sparkling smile on her face beamed.
Getting closer to her, because of her 
fragranced cream.
Expecting the light around us to be dim.

The romantic moment again came,
Flaps of my soul opened for the grand 
dame.
She looked too pretty in her gold lame 
dress, 
My heart awarded her an order of chivalry.
Don't know who are you, but baby you are 
the one, I am in love.
You live in me, You are my love
I feel you in my heart,
You are my world, I just cant stay apart!

Please don't hesitate, please don't lie,
Whatever you feel, my heart can buy!
Angel of life, Its just you.
Completeness in life can't be without you.

Wanna Carry journey happily together.
Tickling nose, Queenly beauty of my white 
leather.
Hold my senses, its caught by you.
Don't let be just memories, wanna feel 
ecstasy of love towards you forever.
Promising to hold your hand throughout 
life in this lovely weather.

Will be your shadow, because your pain 
will be mine.
Its destiny that our heart clicked a 
snapshot of each other's soul.
Stopping by my question, Will you marry 
me, my Kindred Soul?


Details | Limerick | |

Victoria's Secret

With terrain and angles galore
Nature has objects to adore
But what is this glitch?
A non-working bra hitch
Hides the peaks we want to explore


Details | Free verse | |

My True Beauty

Eyes brown
Knowing intelligent
Brunette hair
Following behind 
As you run
Gentle loving
Enjoying others

Legs and hips
Most beautiful 
I've seen
Torso
Michaelangelo
Could sculpt

You turn around
Well shaped rear
Tail swishing 

To flick
Away the
Flies


Details | Kimo | |

Bikini

Laura would look great in a bikini
but she lives in Alaska
so it will not happen.


Details | Clerihew | |

Not, yet

I dreamt myself as poet-frog
And good Fancy` Fairy
Would stoop to pick my verse…
But she didn`t come.


Details | Light Poetry | |

The Bard Conclusion

Then Keith snapped his fingers and spoke a mystical chant, 
“Grant us the powers to finish off the one that all others can’t” 
There came a sound of a moaning wind and a low and rolling groan, 
Then the ghost of dear sweet Barbara Ann came before the throne. 
“Who has called my visage forth and brought me to this place?” 
They were all transfixed by her charms and by the beauty of the specter’s face.
“Spirit we have called you here to accomplish something that we can’t, 
I’m Keith the conjurer and we have someone that we need you to enchant.”
“If I do this thing for you there’s something that you must do for me, 
I can rid you of this fool but there’s no way that I’m doing it for free.”
The King agreed “Any payment that you require will be laid out at your feet, 
Because I know that your spectral beauty will be impossible to defeat.” 
“Then I shall go about this task where doth the fool reside?” 
King Eric told her that the dungeon is where they tossed his hide. 
“Then leave this fool to my methods and let none of you come near, 
Stay away from the castle dungeon no matter what sounds you’ll hear.” 
The spectral figure of Barbara Ann promised that in two night’s time, 
They would be well rid of this fool and in a way that would probably rhyme. 
And as it is with spectral figures Barbara Ann held fast to her word, 
Two days hence and the fool was gone and though it might sound to you absurd, 
All of the riches that she required to the fool she asked that they be paid, 
For the weekend that she spent with the fool she should never seek to trade. 
And what of the fool who paid the price By being hoisted upon his own petard? 
It seems that he is no longer a fool, Instead he’s now become a bard. 
The lesson that I offer to you is that when you make a plan fool proof, 
Never underestimate the ingenuity of fools, Lest they steal treasures from beneath your roof.


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Pricked

Your  love pricks me like a rose each thorn grows but no one knows Your so full of 
it as it shows so carry on now go on, go. I'm fed up with the phony and  i'm 
through with the tears, you couldn't pay me all your money to make up for those 
years. Someone help me I feel faint how could I think he was such a saint and 
worst of all I let me fall into a spiral down below. A magic called love carried 
by the dove of someone I use to know.


Details | Limerick | |

Bulgarian Beauty

A competition was held in Bulgaria 
to find out which girl's legs were hairier. 
The winning lassie 
beat a huge chimpanzee 
and a wiry old Irish Fox Terrier.


Details | Verse | |

A Beauty for Rudy

There was a young man named Rudy.
He prowled bars, looking for booty.

What he thought was a girl,
turned out to be Earl.

But the black eye he got was a beauty!!..


Details | Haiku | |

All About the Music: The Infinite Magic of Lyricism

Pop may be catchy
But not lyrically deep
Case in point: Chris Brown.


(N.B. Poem written after hearing "Don't Wake Me Up")


Details | Haiku | |

Spanish Gypsy

Guitars seduce me
With stacatto semi-tones
Spanish Gypsy scales