These Autumn Funny poems are examples of Funny poems about Autumn. These are the best examples of Autumn Funny poems written by international PoetrySoup poets
One fine day, as hot as Hades,
Six respectable old ladies
Decided they would take a trip
Before the winter chill could nip.
They drove out to the countryside
With rolling hills and river wide.
The place was quiet, full of charm,
But, oh dear me, the weather warm.
Gran became a trifle naughty
Heat made her a little potty
Decided she would take a chance
You only have one life to dance.
Removing both her diamond rings
She cast off all her under things
And dived into the swimming hole
Then with a flash, the show she stole.
This lady in her autumn years
Was young at heart, for her, three cheers.
The other ladies’ eyes, they popped.
While with their hankies, brows they mopped.
Then one declared, ‘It looks so cool.’
And all at once, a river full
Of naked ladies having fun
Beneath the hot and blazing sun.
Let’s just take the day off and maybe call in sick,
Just one day away from work I think will do the trick.
We could start by sleeping late then lay around in bed,
Sharing conversation or something else instead.
Then it’s off to the diner to have some eggs and cakes,
While we read the morning paper, however long it takes.
We’ll wander around the bookstore for as long as we feel,
Pawing through the discount books looking for a deal.
Then let’s pick up the dog and take him to the park,
No one else will be around so we can let him bark.
We can share our hopes and dreams and far off distant plans,
All the while we walk the path while holding each other’s hands.
The leaves have changed their color it’s a perfect autumn day,
If we’d waited one more week the color would have faded away.
Then back home and I’ll light a flame in the fireplace,
We try to read until we fall asleep in the warmth of its embrace.
There’s a purple sky outside the window when we finally awake,
You make us salads and baked potatoes while I grill us up a steak.
We can watch an old movie wondering if Cary Grant will read the letter,
While all the while I’m hoping that by tomorrow, we won’t be any better.
They danced and they turned and they tumbled
In wind, how it sighed and it grumbled
With force, how it howled in its fury
But still they bore no trace of worry
In cool autumn winds they cavorted
My foot! How they laughed and they sported
They flew through the air just like pheasants
Till set in my excellent presence
“Red Leaf,” quoth I unto the leader
“To fly, there is nothing more neater
But weren’t you the least bit affrighted
As thus from the breeze you alighted?”
“Dear sir,” quoth the leaf as he flitted
“To fear, for a leaf ain’t permitted
We’re taught from a bud in the cradle
That even a crash isn’t fatal.”
“I say,” quoth I unto the yellow
“You seem to be such a neat fellow
I wonder how likes you this sporting
Or if you a damsel are courting?”
Quoth he, “All this sporting is splendid
The days of my courting are ended
My lover has flown to the northward
While I am constrained to fly southward.”
Before one more word could be spoken
The peace of that moment was broken
Away flew those leaves o’er the treeses
Borne by the chill autumn breezes
October 25, 2012.
For the contest, Up in the Autumn Air. Second place.
Long miles of tedious journey,
Missing my darling honey.
Travelling impatiently, spend thousands of
Hope god will bless me with ma lucky soul
at this season.
Equatorial island exploring its amazed
beauty, glittering with immersed grasses.
Wrapped by queens necklaced small lake
aside, at the outskirts of dalhousie.
My heart dwelled into its god gifted
When the night lime lighted,
Millions of stars scattered around
As if its was a wondering boon.
Lucky enough for landing with my next
Eagerly waiting for my heart chaser,
Girl passed near by, few seconds later.
Flaming beauty mould my soul.
Topped with innocence, ready for my
Her chic appearance,
Her innocent appeal.
Strucking heart raised with high beats..
Awaited for our romantic date in ma
Frequency of our nature matched.
Stolen Eyes of each other were catched.
Strings of our heart whistled
Everything had happened miraclelously.
I rebelled the three precious words of
Accepting my red rose, She blushed.
At event of recreation, campfire were
Nobody around us, private moments
between we two spotlighted.
Playing guitar, she sinked with every beat,
That's the coincidence our eyes again
Hand in hand danced with the soothing
Sparkling smile on her face beamed.
Getting closer to her, because of her
Expecting the light around us to be dim.
The romantic moment again came,
Flaps of my soul opened for the grand
She looked too pretty in her gold lame
My heart awarded her an order of chivalry.
Don't know who are you, but baby you are
the one, I am in love.
You live in me, You are my love
I feel you in my heart,
You are my world, I just cant stay apart!
Please don't hesitate, please don't lie,
Whatever you feel, my heart can buy!
Angel of life, Its just you.
Completeness in life can't be without you.
Wanna Carry journey happily together.
Tickling nose, Queenly beauty of my white
Hold my senses, its caught by you.
Don't let be just memories, wanna feel
ecstasy of love towards you forever.
Promising to hold your hand throughout
life in this lovely weather.
Will be your shadow, because your pain
will be mine.
Its destiny that our heart clicked a
snapshot of each other's soul.
Stopping by my question, Will you marry
me, my Kindred Soul?
IF IT’S AUTUMN, CAN WINTER BE FAR BEHIND?
Whose woods these are I’ve no idea
But my little horse sure thinks he’s queer
His house ain’t in the village no more
He promised he wasn’t stopping here.
Between the woods and frozen shore
Live many people rich and poor -
On the darkest evening of the season
They watch at every window, every door.
They think the weather’s dreadful freezin’
But feel that it is almost treason
To not watch woods fill up with snow;
Doing otherwise seems contrary to reason.
Bells a-shake, dark, deep in the snow,
Their heroes murmur sounds so low.
For these people Frost is someone they know:
There’s Jack outside and Robert below.
I simply couldn’t resist a parody of Robert Frost.
~Naked in the Moonlight~
Sleep eludes me once more,
I can see the new bright moon
The wind howls through the open window
The curtains billow in the room.
Silently I creep downstairs
I bathe in the bright moonlight
It’s strange for such bad weather
The stars still twinkle every night.
The autumn nip is in the air,
I am naked as the day I was born
Hoping no one is looking out,
Because it is now nearly dawn.
The wind whips round my naked form
Its takes a while to pass
In fact I’m now a wind break
It can’t get past my ass…
© 14/ 09 /2012 ~GG~
Thank you, Ma’am, for the pumpkin.
I am not distressed in the least.
Though it’s not of my preference,
It’ll suffice for a Halloween feast.
Mother Nature could have mixed up her seeds.
That could explain why the color is bland.
One might think Jack Frost didn’t finish his work,
Or, Autumn is making a political stand.
I am so glad you came with this pumpkin.
Come on in Ma’am, and stay for awhile.
No, I don’t mind it isn’t bright orange,
Though it isn’t the most popular style.
Please, have a seat as good company should,
And quit the uncertainties filling your mind.
Don’t doubt my plan for sweet pumpkin pie,
As giving me this ugly, white pumpkin was kind.
As the autumn and winter seasons inexorably unfold,
You can bet that I'm destined to catch my annual cold!
I've tried every remedy from the local pharmacist's shelf,
Includin' syrups, lozenges, even toddies to cure myself!
My nothe ith all thopped up an' I can hardly respthire.
My lungths are congesthed - they feel like they're afire!
My eyeths are red an' thwollen an' I can barely thee.
Every bone an' muthel in my body acheths - woe ith me!
I called the docther's offith for relief only to be told,
That he wath home in bed nursin' a nasthy cold!
He would've told me to take an athpirin an' go to bed.
I reckon I'll juth have to thuffer through it here inthead!
'Cold' ith a mithnomer for thith afflicthion anyhow.
"Why ith it called a cold?", I muse, throkin' my fevered brow,
An' quaffin' noxthious concothions to relieve my burnin' throat.
The meds can't quash my mithery, as the pharmathy ads promote!
Man hath thent rockeths soarin' through the boundleth univerth,
So why can't they find a cure for thith worrithome curth!
There musth be some college kid who thomeday will find a cure.
She'd be more than eligible for Nobel estheem I'm quite sure!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rightths Resethered
This summer was so crazy with a drought but still where mosquitoes multiplied.
And we’re leaving behind a hurricane that attacked the Midwest from all sides.
The crops were lost as months of over 100-degree temperatures, drove us hard.
They were Months that steadily held us captive within our own house doors.
I was soooo looking forward to Autumn where every thing would step aside.
I was dreaming of cool nights so mellow and days where I could walk my dog.
Yes, where the dogs feet and our shoe bottoms, would not be melting off.
Where leaning over the fence while talking to neighbors could be done.
But then, BOOM, along came Autumn, and I do mean with a capital B-O-O-M!
Our acorn tree decided for the first time in 30 years…to go forth and bloom...
And the gumball tree with its little spikes, doesn’t ever want, to be outdone.
The trees are very old and big at more than three stories high, you know…
I shouldn’t have watered them soooo much during the drought and heat, with glee.
For those cute little acorns are now shooting off the trees at mock ten, I do believe.
They hit the house and ground, then ricochet with a force that makes me grieve.
Dozens come down, at a time, bouncing with speeds even planes can’t achieve.
Umbrellas don’t seem to work as they bounce off the house and patio below…
Lord…help me Jesus… I say, as I dodge back and forth, under the rain below…
My dogs won’t go outside… and even my birds have moved a few yards down…
To a more docile terrain we’re all bound, as we were steadily run, off ground.
Even the squirrels stopped trying to bury them, and have left it all behind, so forlorn.
They're hanging a few doors down as my ground has become, wall-to-wall acorns.
Acorns have hit with so much force, that I’ve had to cover my windows for once.
I no longer sit by my window to write… Yep… Bazinga! Won, with a vengeance...
Once the acorns finally end…the spiky gumballs will be gleefully awaiting, to begin.
I’m looking forward to winter, though I begin to believe it’ll be an unusual clincher.
As I’ve learned to say… You never know when life will send you a… Bazinga!
And that... sometimes Autumn's fruitfullness isn't so mellow after all.
It was a chilly morning in paradise...
Autumn was already here...
A time for strange things to happen, as it is that time of year...
She was up most of the night, doing a write....
Regarding some hubs and her series titled "Legend of Fred "
Ahh the questions she had... rolling around in her head..
Were “where were her readers, her followers “ her Hubbers...?
They had all seemed to like what she wrote in the past..
But lately her hubs were falling so fast....
She had written articles on health and life..
perhaps she had targeted too much strife...
Maybe they wanted to read about food..
But when you're not a cook, that would be kinda rude..
Oh, will wonders never cease ?
So she decided she'd get some zzzzz's
She lay in her bed, not moving at all...
but breathing quite deeply, as I saw the covers fall...
So I stretched my muscles and walked ever so slow..
So as not to wake her , then I spied her big toe..
Sticking out from the blanket..it was such a temptation..
And with me having such a" foot fixation".. however...
She needed the rest , so she can finish her quest..
I have some thoughts of my own...
that I would like to share in a poem..
And I would be happy to help her.. but..
I don’t think the world is ready for me...
as I am a BLOGGING CAT.. you see
So I will close for now...everyone have a great week...as
I'm off to seek something that has a tweak and a squeak..