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Funny Animal Poems | Funny Poems About Animal

These Funny Animal poems are examples of Funny poems about Animal. These are the best examples of Funny Animal poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Footle | |

Fickle-Foolish-Footles - Man's Best Friend

Overweight Terrier:
   Porky
   Yorkie
Un-cool Terrier:
   Dorky
   Yorkie

Spaniel dog breeder:
   Cocker
   Stocker
Parrot who mimics a Spaniel's bark:
   Cocker
   Mocker
Book on how to care for Cockers:
   Spaniel
   Manuel
Originally from England, a well-rounded Spaniel stays in shape by playing:
   Cocker
   Soccer
Then showers and dresses by its:
   Cocker
   Locker

Dachshund headgear:
   Weenie
   Beenie
Grouchy Dachshund:
   Meany
   Weenie
Proportionally, male Dachshunds have:
   Teenie
   Weenies
(But size isn't everything)
Dachshund making critcal life choices:
   Eenie
   Weenie...

Lassie was a level-headed dog and never engaged in:
   Collie
   Folly
Reared in a loving environnment, she was a rather:
   Jolly
   Collie
Bred in the capitol city of NC, making her a:
   Raleigh
   Collie
To commemorate her frequent (and often rowdy) visits to N.O. a streetcar was renamed the:
   Collie
   Trolley

Snoopy immigrated to the States but alas, was found not to be a:
   Legal
   Beagle
Thus he was deported back to England but was promptly knighted by the Queen becoming a:
   Regal
   Beagle
Now a celebrity, he even had an entourage of nubile young female beagles named:
   Snoopy's
   Groupies
Eventually, he met his soul mate, married her in Westminster Abbey and it is rumored that they engaged in numerous and somewhat kinky sessions of:
    Snoopy
    Whoopie



Details | Rhyme | |

My Puppy

My puppy sure loves to lick me
He thinks I’m a lollypop.
Every time I get home he attacks me
Then kisses me nonstop.

You’d think I was gone forever
When I just left the house for the mail,
He is right at the door when I get back
With a rapidly wiggling tail.

He wants to eat everything I do,
Mom says, that’s not good for a dog.
We want to keep him fit and healthy
So daily we go for a jog.

My toys are all tattered and ragged
My socks are his ultimate aim,
Doesn’t matter how much it upsets us
He thinks it’s all some kind of game.

I know he’s a bit of a stinker
That always wants to be fed.
But I sure am in love with my puppy,
Every night when we cuddle in bed.

Written by Brenda Meier-Hans
2012


Details | Rhyme | |

A FROG NAMED RIBBIT

I once had a frog named Ribbit
I was headed to school he croaked, "skip it"
I thought this is insane 
When my frog called me by name
I tried to tell others but they wouldn't hear it

So I went to a psychic to get advice
My frog interrupted and ask her real nice
Will I have happiness or sorrow
What will happen on the morrow
Show us that you're worth the high price

She said, Oh I see you with a beautiful lass
She'll be checking out your shiny green a--
Her eyes will be glued to you
Yeah, she can't wait to tear into you
You'll be on pins and needles in her Biology class

Contest: Carol's "Animal Alive"
Date:7-24-14


Details | Epigram | |

Big Foot and I

Bigfoot often puts his foot in his mouth
and he's got a big mouth too...


Tim Ryerson
Submitted for: SKAT A's contest


Details | Alliteration | |

Cat

Lounging licking leaping
Prancing pouncing peeking
Corners closets crouching
Tail twirling twitching
Sniffing sensing sneezing
Hissing huffing hunting
Pretty purring preening
Curiosity kitty killing
Nine long lives living


Details | Rhyme | |

Never Dream Within a Dream

-honestly...I have no clue why...- As I began to rest in my fickle dream Suddenly I was stirred from my sleep I was greeted by many a whisker And petulant snores from my sister The cat mewed ferociously and purred For there on the other side of the window—was a bird! It chirped like a wobbly siren—the ass! And I swear by my bosom it was pecking the glass Suddenly, I sprang up in alarm I swear my bosom was gone! The cat then motioned at the feathered brat For her bright breasts seemed extra fat Of course it wouldn’t have been that But I couldn’t just blame the cat! I opened the window only a crack And asked very kindly, “May I have my breasts back?” Such pride she attained from my bosom Yet why? –how would she use ‘em!? The mockingbird merely turned a goodbye But the stolen twins were too heavy to fly! She plopped to the ground and squawked I would have laughed, but I was shocked! The cat scratched at the window and with her eyes Said, “Prithee, take your breasts—she’s mine!” Before I could think I had fallen to the ground To a booming, most terrible sound! My eyes then opened to a cat on my head As the booming sound continued from my sister’s bed


Details | I do not know? | |

Welcome to the Funny Farm

Beware of wolves in sheepskins
My what clever wolves
I wonder if the sheep could pass as wolves
Perhaps they could go to Wolves R Us

I've heard of a Fox in a Hen House
I wonder if a Hen ever visits a Fox House

Who was the idiot that let the Bull loose
The china shop will never be the same
I also wonder why so many Bull remain
Especially with all the politicians shooting Bull

I was so busy I had no time to get ready for my trip
So I invited a pack Rat over to help get me organized
My house boat started to sink and he was the first to leave

It started to rain Cats and Dogs
I think I need a better umbrella

He told me I could get there as the crow flies
I think he lied, my arms are tired and I'm still here

I thought I would become my own boss
This Monkey Business is tougher than I expected
My inventory is eating up all my profits

All my clothing shrank when I came in from the rain
I have to admit I felt a little Sheepish

The judge asked him to pronounce his own sentence 
He asked if he could be Hung like a Horse

All my friends call me Eagle Eye
I like that so much better than Cyclops
I would be much happier if I had two eyes

I hope you all enjoyed the trip to the Funny Farm
All the animals here are crackers


Details | Rhyme | |

Silly Billy Goes To The Zoo -



Silly Billy went along to the zoo Right after he had the flu That day the whole sky was blue And he carried along his teddy Pooh Silly Billy love walking to the park every day He love watching the clouds in the sky, Silly Billy was just a regular kid too And he had a lot of friends at school like you. Silly Billy best friends were Sue and his Pooh, So when his parents took him to the zoo, He was so happy to bring along his Pooh, And show him all the places to see. Silly Billy wanted to see everything in the zoo, Starting with: the bears, the tigers, and all the monkeys too. Silly Billy asked his dad to let him feed all the animals you see, But his dad told him, he couldn't do that, 'cause that was a wrong thing to do. Silly Billy loved all the animals in the zoo He was so happy to have spent there the day He had so much fun enjoying all the view His father promised him to bring back another day. Silly Billy went back home content with his Pooh, He gave a big hug to his mom and his dad that day; The day was still beautiful but was almost through Silly Billy smiled and looked up at the sky still blue. Silly Billy went along to the zoo Right after he had the flu Silly Billy went along to the zoo With his family and his teddy Pooh. Dorian Petersen Potter aka ladydp2000 copyright@2007 October, 5, 2014


Details | Footle | |

More Animal Footles-Just For Fun

 
These are just for fun...I am trying my hand at them!

DROMEDARY'S NAIL POLISH
 camel enamel

SMALL UNSENTIMENTAL HORSE
  stony pony

WILD DOG LANGUAGE
  dingo lingo

INEBRIATED POLECAT
  drunk skunk

HOG'S MUSIC PLAY DATE
  pig gig

  SPICY WILDCAT
  peppered leopard

FELINE HEAD WEAR
  cat hat

OUTSTANDING MARSUPIAL
awesome possum







Details | Rhyme | |

The Anteater

The Anteater

I’m a little Anteater
Bored with what I eat
I never get delicious stuff
Like a chocolate treat
I eat the same thing every day
You really ought to try it
Cos all I ever seem to get
Is ants in every diet?

I’d like to nibble on some bread
Or lovely potted beef
But nothing that is chewy 
Cos I don’t have any teef 
If I had a sirloin steak
I think I would deep fry it
But all I ever seem to get
Is ants in every diet?

I could have spaghetti
Even though it’s very long
I wouldn’t use a fork or spoon
I’ve got a sticky tongue
My taste buds though are limited
I really can’t deny it
So I guess I’ll always eat
Ants with every diet!    


Details | Limerick | |

ZOO UNICORN

     ZOO UNICORN

Seeing the posting of the zoo unicorn
Could not wait to go see his horn
My eyes just could not believe
The boy I had  been deceived
Poor horse got thrown a lot of popcorn


 a Linda-Marie   = (contest) =


Details | Haiku | |

BUNNY

    -Bunny Hole- by:SKAT

hidden muddy home
dirty paws, good boy' good boy!
yummy with carrots :)

----------------------------

  -Unwanted Fluffiness- by:PD

Big Brown Burlap Bag
drop Bunnies down By the Bay
Better off -Blue grave



~SKAT & PD~


Details | Free verse | |

Elusive Unicorns

I was scrambling through the forest floor,
rambling all around the underbrush,
searching for acorns and pine cone nuts.

I am on a brand spanking newfangled diet,
much more better suited for mice and rats,
which assures me a healthier physical mainframe.

While sitting on a stinking rotten tree stump,
taking a short respite, I spotted a pair of unicorns.
To my great surprise, the male was blue and the female pink.

To my chagrin, I had not brought a camera,
so I was unable to accurately record
this most momentous of discoveries.

I did my very dang best to stay sight unseen,
but I guess the pair spotted me and in a flash
the two majestic unicorns were long gone.

I quickly scurried back home and told my whole family
all about the pair of awesome unicorns I had spotted.
No one believed me and they placed me in a mental facility.

I explained to the psychiatrist in great detail all I had seen.
He slowly and sternly told me I must have been hallucinating,
because it is a settled scientific fact that all unicorns are orange.


Details | Etheree | |

Farm Walk

Looking out the barn door in our back yard
I watched a deer run through our cow field,
acting like cow pies were mine fields.
He appeared not to like cows
and seemed to plug his nose
by lifting fat lips
to block nostrils
from smelling
to much
of
what
seemed too
unpleasant
for this fine beast.
He kept on running
lips flapping in the air
making funny bubbly sounds,
purposely or not, I'm not sure
But one thing I do know for certain.
This was the strangest deer I've ever seen.

Written by Brenda Meier-Hans 
09.09.2014
For Shadow Hamilton's Contest
Double Reverse Etheree
1st


Details | Rhyme | |

My Sister and Me

How many Guinea Pigs can you see?
Is it one, or two, or maybe three?
There's Honey and Sweetie, and Old Master Monty,
He ogles the girls 'till his eyes go quite wonky.
As to which one's the best, we just can't agree
'Cos they all belong to my sister and me

They live out of doors in a house made by Dad,
It's lovely and posh, the best they could have
A bit like on holiday when your' van's been delayed
They shout, "on the house", A PLATINUM UPGRADE.
For having to wait, It's totally free 
We're both very grateful, my sister and me.

We all love those Guinea Pigs, of that there's no doubt,
 But when it comes to cleaning them out
We both try pretending it's the other one's turn
We go for the wind up but we both need to learn
That nothing worth having ever comes easily,
And one day we'll get there, my sister and me.

How long do you think there'll be only three?
Suppose they gave babies, like a real family.
There'll be hundreds of Poohs and thousands of wee's
I hope they don't do  it on the brand new settee
Old Master  Monty will be as proud as can be
As he blinks a sly wink at my sister and me.


Details | Tanka | |

Strange Love

Why do I love you?
When I look into your face
Your teeth are too big,
That nose is extremely long.
Yet all I want in a dog.

Written by Brenda Meier-Hans 
09.08.2014


Details | Haiku | |

What Does The Ape Say

What does the ape say?
“Although I too walk upright,
I get no respect.”


Details | Light Poetry | |

My Pet Donkey Kim

As children are
They all want a pet
I wanted a horse
My little sister wanted a pony
Our parents compromised
They got us a goldfish
Of course we had to name our new pet
We compromised yet again and called him
Turtle

Now turtle would spend hours and hours
Running and jumping around an around in his watery fields
A very fast Turtle he was
We decided to film our little turtle and so we did
The show off would make jokes and acrobats
Turns out he was a real comedian 
(also an expert at cards, especially Go Fish)
To out surprise, an evil man didn’t like our wee turtle
Why he called him a darn little monkey
He said he would shatter our fish bowl
Well he called it a Monkey bowel

Then one day we saw something miraculous
A second gold fish
Turns out he was a she
Happily now my sister and I both had pets
She a wee little pony and me
A great big beautiful black stallion
She name her Pony Grasshopper
So worried she was, that the evil man from far away
Would do great harm to us, Grasshopper and Turtle
She said we should get on our pony and horse
And ride away on the ocean, far away and safe

Then all of a sudden, our neighbors Korean Siamese cat jumped
Right through the window, and right smack into the fish bowl
Poor Turtle and Grasshopper, all over the floor
My sister cried her little heart out that day
From that moment forward, I just could never get myself
To drink Orange crush again


Details | Narrative | |

- Sticking Relationship -




                                       Hear it chugging and tasle
                                         The sun has gone down
                                         Twilight, is still not dark
                                   Small steps ... chugging and tasle
                                         The dog is standing still
                                           Sniffing and listening
                                           Sounds comes closer
                                   A small ball comes out of the bushes
                                      My favorite toy, the dog thinking
                                       Sticking her nose up ..... but ...
                                       The ball is full of sticking spines
                                            it makes a hissing sound
                                     Hedgehog will not play with the dog







15.06.2013
A-L  Andresen :)                 - This is my dog "Maya" :))


(5th in the contest)


Details | Limerick | |

The Vet

Heard them say that I’m off to the vet
It’s for my annual booster you bet
He is fetching the lead
Here he comes yes indeed
And into the car I do get

I do not like the car very much
Travel sickness I get just a touch
If they take me to far
I’ll be sick in this car
But I just can’t help it as such

We arrive at the vets safe and sound
I drag slowly for this I have found
It’s a waste of time 
Going to the vets is a crime
I’d rather be back in the pound

Now there putting me on the scale
The nurse says I’m as fat as a whale
This is no fun
I just want to run
But alas I must sit on my tail

At last I’m led into that room
I know that it not for a groom
They lift me on the table
For to climb I’m not able
At last I fear it is doom

The vet has moved round behind
That thermometer looks none to kind
He says it won’t hurt
In a manner that’s curt
Now the thermometer they cannot find

Next it’s the jab in the neck
I could bite him but what the heck
It’s all over now
It’s much worse for a cow
As I leave the surgery I wreck

Then just as I’m off to the door
I hear the vet say one thing more
He needs more exercise
To decrease his size
To hell with that that’s for sure

So back in the car to go home
I feel my mouth starting to foam
Then I’m sick on the floor
Someone open the door
In this car I just hate to roam

Now free of the car I need the loo
The fresh green grass will do
As I open my bowel 
The smell is quite fowl
The thermometers there in my pooh

So home again I will take to my chair
Relax and unwind as is fair
Too much stress for today
Just want to sleep and lay
For the exercise I just do not care

So my trip to the vet I’ve relayed
My owner took me and has paid
So leave me in peace
All wrapped up in my fleece
For my sleep has to long been delayed


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

High Steaks

Farmer Dan, was a gambling man, who loved to play at some cards;
So to beat the band, he tried his hand, at the other farm yards.

On one day, he struck pay day, at the home of good farmer Dow,
And walked away, with some hay, plus a seven foot tall beef cow.

Dan looked so small, beside his large haul, as they sauntered back home;
But above all, Dan was feeling tall, and called his new cow, Gnome.   

Dan had the urge, to try and scourge, more farmers for some winnings,
And if he surged, he’d go splurge, with pockets that would be brimming.

His plan worked, as he clean and jerked, all kinds of swag from his friends;
Yet they were irked, and went berserk, wanting Dan to make amends.

So farmer Dow, wiped his wet brow, and sought one last game from Dan;
Though he kowtowed, he couldn’t wow, the farmers to join his plan.

Dow demanded, a game two handed, to settle up the score,
Plus he planned, to wager his land, for Gnome and quite a bit more.

Each was praying, because to stay in, they had to raise the stakes.
It goes without saying, they were playing, for more than just ‘High Steaks’.


Details | Haiku | |

What Does The Cow Say

What does the cow say?
“Don’t touch my teats you pervert.
I will call the cops.”


Details | Limerick | |

A Sguirrel Named Merl

" How do you do?" "My name is Merl."
I'm not a tree rat; I'm a squirrel.
To hunters, I'm screamin,
"Please eat more chicken!"
"Never mind, you shoot like a girl."

I should build my nest in a tree
but your attic looks better to me.
A fight? It's your call.
I'm a little buzz saw.
Remember; nuts are my favorite treat!



July 15, 2014
Contest: Animals Alive
Sponsor: Carol Eastman


Details | Haiku | |

Why Does The Ape Dance

Why does the ape dance?
Because he has a hot date
with a chimpanzee. 


Details | Monorhyme | |

French Fries for my Alligator

I ordered French fries for my alligator,
But he stated,
“I’ll eat them later.”

So I spoke up to the waiting waiter,
And said, “Please do me a favor.
Go and take the taters
Out of the fry-o-later.”

Then the waiter intently tried to hawk,
Soup in a crock
For the hungry croc.

But my gator didn’t like the knock
Of being called a dumb old croc.
“My pal is not a schlock,
So, no, to swill in a crock.”

The waiter whose name tag stated, Lyle,
Said without a smile,
“We only serve crocodiles.”

“Why the change, I asked Lyle?
We do not like this style.
A gator is a fine reptile;
Much better than a crocodile.”

So we stared into the waiter’s eyes,
And despised
That waiter’s guise.

That’s when my gator improvised
By catching Lyle by surprise.
He gulped him down, though oversized
Yet, much more filling than French fries


Details | Rhyme | |

Everyday is Hump Day

PIGS GO OINK COWS GO MOO GHOSTS SAY BOO NOTHING NEW HORSE GOES NEIGH BUT WHAT DOES THE TURTLE SAY? ? BIRD WINGS GO FLIP FLAP FISH FINS GO SPLISH SPLASH HORSE HOOFS GO CLIP CLOP SNAKE BELLY GOES SLITHER SANTA CLAUSE SAYS HO HO HO BUT WHAT’S THE SOUND OF THE CAMEL TOE? WHAT DAY IS IT? EVERYDAY IS HUMP DAY
?


Details | Haiku | |

What Does The Frog Say

What does the frog say?
“I eat bugs. You eat my legs.
You must be crazy!”


Details | Haiku | |

What Does The Pig Say

What does the pig say?
“I am a little bit plump,
I am not chubby.”


Details | Rhyme | |

The silly cat with a hat

                                                            The cat wore a hat 
                                                             and scared the rat ,
                                                              it looked very weird , 
                                                               because it even had a beard .


Details | Epitaph | |

Silly Epitaph 16

In loving memory of Jones,
The best duck I've known.
My pet and friend since I was four.
For a bird, he was dear;
I wish he was here
So that he and I could do more.