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Death Pain Poems | Death Poems About Pain

These Death Pain poems are examples of Death poems about Pain. These are the best examples of Death Pain poems written by international PoetrySoup poets

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Details | Free verse | |

A Wish -re-post-

A WISH -- In Memory Of 

"I Wish"

I wish I could blow air into your little lungs, 
The day my daughter brought your stillborn body into this world. 
Hold your little body warm, 
And tell my little girl you have her cute little nose....
Count your little fingers, and kiss your little toes....

I wish, 
I could look into your daring eyes, 
Facing a little boy, who's ready for this world
I wish,
I could tell my daughter you have her beautiful brown eyes...
Sadly, it’s not like that.
How can I tell my daughter everything will be all right?
When a piece of my heart was stolen with her's,
When giving birth to her son, my grandson 
March 25, 2013---- How it Hurts! 
~~~
O’ how I wish, you entered this world crying
Instead, we're the ones left in tears of sorrow
~~~
How I wish you could be, 
And not this feeling you left inside
How I wish, God could explain why o' why o' why?

Mostly, I WISH grandma could fix this, and make 
your mommy feel, the joy she was robbed of.

In memory of my grandson: ---Bael Lesley G.
Born March 25, 2013  ---   RIP March 25, 2013

----------
by;PD  :-(


Details | Free verse | |

That Day, A Life Crushed

That Day, Life Crushed



I was resting on a lake dock that was in deep decay
it ran fifty yards out into the seamless water
that day my baby brother had went to swim with his friends
a normal summer day that shone with splendor
and peaceful was the soft blowing wind
only fate was awake and moving ever foward


there I was in peaceful solitude , resting
gazing at the lapping waves as they spoke
ignorant of what had taken place only moments before
the passing of a young and promising life, my brother


sun still beamed, wind still blew and life changed
a truck came racing across the bridge
I saw my best friend waving at me franticly
then I heard, I knew tragedy had befallen somebody
somebody I loved dearly


Moments later, the force of truth crushed me into a ball
it was as I feared, a death, an unimaginable horror
my baby brother was dead, my fourteen year old baby brother 
gone, gone , gone!


Electric current had destroyed his life
destroyed my life, sent me into a seven year rage
I said my goodbyes in a quiet rage and vowed that God, 
God would pay for this!
And so it began a terrible journey into a dark abyss 
one that consumed and slowly ate my soul
my soul it ate with relish and glee


I became a punisher of God!
Yes, such misery did I heap out by the bucket
by the ton and ate it's glory until-

Seven years later, light came into me as I slept
I woke one morning to find that the one punished was ME!
God had told me but I refused to hear
Now I heard and that truth crushed me again!


The road back took time but seven long years was over!
life returned, joy returned!
Majestic love returned to reclaim it's treasure-- my soul!


My soul rejoices to this day,
this day I see God stayed with me as I ran away!

I, he that runs no MORE!

Robert J. Lindley 06-30-2014

My first ever write about my brother, Billy Joe Lindley
fourteen year old and the girls adored him,
that summer electrocuted by a faulty electric pump at a 
friend's house by the river. 
1976, I think about him every day since, he was an angel compared 
to me and why, why did I live!


Details | Rhyme | |

I Need Time to Heal

Tell me why, but tell me True-
Spare me the heartbreak of a Lie
I would lay forever in these meadows...
Forever, until I die!
To rid myself of all the Pain,
And the Sorrows of what I feel
To ease my Mind, my worried Brain
(Lord! The Cuts! I need to heal)

*Referring to my problems with "Borderline Personality Disorder"; many of us are "cutters"


Details | Rhyme | |

Our Hearts Are Broken Too

(In memory of those lost in Newtown, CT) We may not know the answers to all the questions asked We cannot control how great the pain or how long it will last. Nothing we can do will erase the pain you bear But we cannot remain silent as if we didn’t care. The blood of precious children was shed this very day And grieving families wonder when this pain will go away. We know time will heal a multitude of wounds But we also can be very sure it won’t be very soon. Evil came to visit here and we all wonder why The souls of friends and children were made to say good-bye What happened here today we may not ever know And haunting thoughts of loved ones will follow where we go. You may be called to travel a higher road than we But you cannot travel faster than our prayers that follow thee. We know that we can never bear the grief that you go through Just remember we are here – Our hearts are broken too. Written by John Posey 12/16/12


Details | Ballad | |

Lost Love

If only you could see the tears
In the world you left behind
You fill my days, my nights, my dreams
You’re all that’s on my mind
Your laugh I’ll never hear again
Your smile I’ll never see
Memories now are all I have
Since loneliness found me
Time was never on your side
Your short life had to end
Now I'm left in pain without
My love and my best friend
The sadness, the emptiness
The pain I have to face
Will never leave my life
For you’re a loss I can’t replace
Even though the rain will fall
And the sun will still shine on
My life will just exist
Because my whole world now is gone
You are an Angel high above now
Watching over me
But someday I know once again
Together we will be
For when my time on earth is done
You’ll come and take my hand
And guide us to eternal love
Together in God's land..


By Raina Hutchins


Details | Free verse | |

Heavens' Doorway

One day there was an accident, and to heavens gate I was called.
As an angel sat down beside me, upon the bed I had been put upon.
Such a shining warmth ensued as it held me in its thrall.
A thought from God proclaimed, “What with your life have you done?”
Then all of life fled past me, but not as I did expect to see it done.
For all I saw and felt were things I hadn’t known I had done, and yet…
So much pain inflicted to each, with such little words and thoughts.
I never would have known such power, by one person, could be wrought.
I bowed my head in shame at the pain I knew I could not undo, yet…
Suddenly, I found myself forgiven. Yes, TRULY it was true!
Hallelujah became my amazed and impassioned cry before him, that night!
His warmth had never wavered, nor even his illustrious, wonderful light.
How could he forgive me, someone as wretched and lowly as I?
And yet, he did… and so he changed my life from then on out. 
But low and behold he wasn’t yet done with me, or so my story goes…
He sent me back to my home again… it in comparison brought me low.
But he said my work lay uncompleted, so now I must go back…
He said to stay clean and I would blossom… What do you think of that?
A veil he placed upon my eyes to remove me from the knowledge of all I’d known.
Then he sent me from his side, where I could not see him but knew he was.
Now, here I stand before you, a totally changed and humbled one.
Still, I have found I have sinned again… I know he must have known.
Perhaps some day, as I patiently wait… I’ll be allowed once more within his gate.
Only time will tell, as again I’ll feel every ones pain…
All I can say is: God Forgive Me… as I continue to wait…

(This Near Death experience really happened and changed my life.)


Details | I do not know? | |

Abortion (Another Life Gone)

There you are being conceived in your mother's womb. 
Before you know it you will be born in this world 
real soon. 

As you develop; you start to move around. You take in 
your first food as your mom gobbles it down. 

Your ears start to develop; behold now you can hear! 
You start to move around as the sounds you hear are 
weird. 

You look around to only darkness. So you yawn and fall 
asleep. Look at those precious toes that are taking 
shape on your little feet! 

You hear your mother talking and you react to her voice. 
You start to kick. You start to coo. It seems to make 
you rejoice. 

I can hear the sound of your heart beat, and at hearing 
it I fall in love. I take a moment to see what is now 
going on in heaven above. 

Yah smiles down upon you as a precious baby is starting 
to take shape. Everything seems good so far, but hold up 
baby...wait! 

A pain hits you hard. You're wondering what's the 
commotion. You don't even know it, but your mom 
is now having an abortion. 

You don't deserve this. You're a precious baby. To be 
born is the Father's will. But you don't even know it, 
because now you are being killed. 

The pain is killing you...unbearable pain, but what can 
you do. It hurts too much to say this is what your mom 
thinks of you. 

Some think they know better, but your life began at 
conception. Why do some think otherwise? Is it because 
they fell victim to the devil's deception? 

Look at you torn to pieces. I'm crying at the sight 
of you. But it's a relief to your mother, she sees a 
different point of view. 

Another child dead. Another life gone. I can't control 
my emotion. A precious gift from above is now the victim 
of another abortion. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Philosophy on Life, Evil and the World

Philosophy on Life, Evil and the World

The Masters, serve their greed
take from those in great need
Such is evil's darkest cloaks
swallows that so often chokes

The Blinded, serve very well
masters in the pit of Hell
Each has a false laid pride
darkness is where they hide

The Slaves, eat deep regret
of life they'll never get
Each accepts a darkened yoke
defiance rarely ever spoke

The Brave, sail with heart
paying from the very start
Sacrifice to save our Souls
Deep river, so many shoals

The Warriors, cut ever deep
die as family sets to weep
Freedom's mantle they serve
with epic hearts, iron nerves

The Innocent, stand so bare
suffer greatly, so few care
Yet they are the true treasure
their test is the real measure!

Robert J. Lindley, 09-05-2014

note: Impossible to include ever 
group so this poet came up with 
these six to write about...


Details | Narrative | |

Sorrow

She sits alone 
She draws her knees up to her shoulders, hugging them tightly
She shivers in the icy wind 
Her teeth chatter and the stream of tears from her eyes, sting her cheeks 
As she lifts her head towards the heavens, 
Her eyes burn with pain and her piercing scream, barely human, expresses her Excruciating 
suffering and anguish

She is gripped by immense sorrow, the most powerful and destructive emotion
It roughly envelopes her, throwing her into a pit of darkness, filled with evil shadows
The shadows claw at her, ripping into her flesh like daggers
She shakes violently, tasting blood as she bites down hard on her bottom lip
But she feels no pain, her body is numb, numbed by the demons of sorrow, who, 
Are slowly overpowering her, devouring her heart 
And locking her in an eternal web of pain

She is engulfed by fear as the intense sorrow surrounding her, compresses her
She gasps for air as the merciless hands of sorrow close around her throat
She fights in her lonely vacuum, with everything she has
She reaches for her only comfort, her fingers coil around the blade
As she stretches her arms out in front of her, her void eyes gaze upon her pale skin
Her skin is etched with scars
Her scars an eternal, entwined, tattoo of her excruciating suffering
As she runs the jagged blade over her skin, its cold feel calms her
The compressing sorrow surrenders
This is her saviour, the one who can release her from this life of pure hell
Her skin begins to open, the river of blood flowing strong
Her pain is flung into the open, through her wounds, 
Leaving a sense of tranquility in her distraught heart

Her red stained fingertips caress her raw wounds
She is mesmorised by the life force flowing from her, as it paints 
Her tragic story on her body
Painful tears bleed from her eyes as regret shudders through her
She rocks backwards and forwards, lulling herself into a sense of peace
Her body is drained
As she lies back she becomes limp
Her eyes close and her whispered prayers fill the open air,
Creating the painful melody her heart sings
As she slips away

Thunder roars and the starry heavens open 
As God’s tears rain over His beloved daughter, 
Healing her wounds and piecing her broken soul back together
As the sun rises above her, 
It illuminates her peaceful expression
Her earthly father collapses besides her
His silent tears wash over her beautiful, pale face
As he lifts his dead child in his arms, 
Vicious sorrow rips his heart apart, 
Creating wounds which will never heal


Details | I do not know? | |

Bath of Blood

I sit here shaking in this warm water
The pain has come, for my life to barter.
Should i do it, let everything go.
I grab that razor and never let go.

I tilt my head back and take a breath
I soon feel the pain inside my chest.
My heart is pounding faster and faster.
I think in my head now I\'m the master.

Cutting and cutting away that pain
as the blood drips down, my life slowly fades.
I drop the blade, and watch it fade, into the 
Bath of blood that i have made.

Everythings gone, my life to.
into that red liquid, that makes me and you.
i am now free of all that pain, and all the suffering that never went away.

So now i lay here in my Bath of blood, looking down in at the soapy suds. Was it 
a dream or was it a fantasy.
I look at my wrists....and they still bleed.


Details | Rhyme | |

A Mother's Heart

A Mother's Heart

She brought this babe
Into this world with such care,
A life full of hope and dreams
Nothing will happen to him...nothing would dare.
She sends him to school
And days filled with little league,
Never a thought he would
One day leave dressed in fatigues.
That day came too soon
A day covered in clouds,
Kissing him goodbye 
Knowing he would make her proud.
Her son fought for his beliefs
For the red, white, and blue,
For independence and justice
Freedom for his mother and for you.
There is nothing more wrenching
Then that of a mothers cry,
For the loss of her child
And the call saying her son has died.
You see I can not understand
I can not say its okay,
All I can do now 
Is kneel down and pray.
"Dear God
I know you have taken him
And made him strong once more,
But I miss him so terribly
All the way to my core.
There is no way to describe
This pain which fills my soul,
Could you not take me too
Release me from this black hole."
Her son fought for his beliefs
For the red, white, and blue,
For independence and justice
Freedom for his mother and for you.
Can you even for a moment
Imagine the ripping apart,
The pain and agony of
A mother's heart.
2004
Edie Hendrikse


Details | Rhyme | |

Last Breath

There’s no glory in death
As you take your last breath
Loved ones sit and mourn
Thinking they won’t see the dawn

But they will and here’s why
They ease the pain as they cry
They will move on each day
Pain slowly will go away

Until eventually 
Life is as normal as it can be
Till the pain hurts them less
After we all say bless

For a moment or two
You forget its true
Then the thought comes again 
With a little less of pain

Years will pass and you’ll cry
On special days till you die
Then loved ones you will meet again
Find them all free from pain

I have absolutely no doubt
That’s what deaths all about
So it’s true when they say
Time heals a bit everyday


Details | Free verse | |

The Students into Terrorism

The students live in Peshawar
Which is city of flowers
University of terrorism.

The students don't know what is the religion
They don't understand about Jehad 
Actually they have no interest on these...

They love cricket, football, hockey, athletics, cartoon, movie
They read literature, science, history, geography, mathematics
They respect humanism with their god gifted smile
They write poetry about nature...

Unfortunately they are killed by some rented learned killers
The students were not enemy of the killers...

Both are victims by naked politics  
They become two faces of the world.

Believe me dear children
I am crying...
The soul of India is crying...
The Almighty is crying...

We are powerless in the world like you
We have only tears for you...

SANDIP GOSWAMI, INDIA


Details | Elegy | |

I Need Your Help Daddy

I’m tired
I’m Physically and Emotionally tired
I don’t want to be the strong one anymore
I can’t this time
I don’t know what to do Daddy
I need your help down here

I can’t get back in control of my emotions 
I’m having a hard time dealing with your absence
I’m having a hard time standing by myself
I need your help Daddy

I’m broken and lost without you Daddy
I need your will to want to carry on
I need your strength to over come this
I need your strength to stay standing
Your courage to fight back again
I need your help 

Please Daddy I’m at a loss
How am I suppose to do this
I need your guidance 
I need you to guide me back
To whom I was before
I need your help Daddy
I need your help







Details | Free verse | |

Dementia

He was always so happy
strong and bold.
He'd give you the shirt off of his back.
Tough.
Independent.
He had a rough life
growing up through the depression,
but like he always does,
he got through it.
He has two boys, of whom he is so proud.
Moved from Regina, to Victoria.
He had the best life anyone his age could have wanted.
But ever since his wife died, 
he has not been the same.
Sad
Lonely
Empty.
But like he has always done,
he got through it.
Mind slipping, 
just a little forgetful.
That's how it always starts out...
But like always, he powered through it, 
until now...
He is not the same person that I used to know.
He been sentenced to the prison in his own mind.
Possessed by the thoughts of his dogs ashes.
He likes to play the blame game,
but we know he doesn't remember that it was him.
He wakes up in the night
shaking with pain, 
tears streaming down his face.
There is nothing we can do,
Oh well...
Two more tylenol.
Hold on to hope
for as long as you can,
It's only a matter of time now.
He gets vocal, a very loud tone.
He'll block you in your room
and make false accusations
But we know that it's the pain induced monster in him.
Tick tock, tick tock...
You can't handle the stress anymore
you have to leave.
Just hope for the best, 
maybe it will get better.
Surprise, it doesn't.
Your denial is foolish, everyone knows 
what happens next.
Sedation
Medication
Anger
Hurt
All results of
dementia


Details | Narrative | |

The Empty Tissue Box

My heart was in such pain
I felt like I was going to go insane
I just don't know what to do 
And my eyes full of tears that distort my view

I fell to my knees and felt the urge
My muscle tighten and pin needles struck me like a surge
My body was warm and with feelings so confused
My mind felt sadness had fused

I could not conquer my fears
I just sat down and fell into tears
When some close to you passes on
It felt like a warmth has gone

So I raised my hand towards a box that was empty with no tissue
I first was embarrass and had a little bit of issue
All my friends hugged me and said sorry for your loss
So now I cry in my bed and toss


April 14, 2013


Details | Rhyme | |

A Soul Awakened

She is the muse to her own sorrow; She is the digger of her grave. She is the painter of her ocean view and every fatal wave. She is the shadow of her Father; She is the darkness in your sight. She is the night without the stars surrounding pale moonlight. She is the music with no words; She is sweet love without the reason. She is your dreamer with submission cold by warmth with every season. She is your pet with cold intentions; She is your baby scared and shaken. She is the bold and pure- the lost and found, She is a soul awakened.


Details | Free verse | |

My Hell

I fall down
deeper and deeper
into oblivion
nothing
only darkness.
the sounds of evil
dripping into my ears
slithering farther
and sliding down into me
filling me with echoes.
terror courses through
my veins
into each cell
turning them against
me
they are no longer mine
they follow another
a stronger being.
icy breezes come
they whisper to me
they say I'm bad
they call me to them
the breezes dance
hug me
covering me
hiding me from the light
shielding me from hope.
falling deeper
only down
my eyes are taunted
I see people
the ones I know
love
they are hurt
hurting
by me
I have betrayed them
left them
I am hurting them
it is me
but I can't stop.
my mind is plagued
sick
new thoughts
 every second
comes a new terror
a cruel joke
all a prank.
only deeper do I fall
light is disappearing
becoming dimmer
fading fast.
all a game
for one person
the puppeteer
the ringmaster
the man in the
mask
the one who is running the show
the show that is me.
he sees me falling
he laughs
I can't see him
but he is there
everywhere
teasing my brain
taunting my senses
he hates me
he wants to hurt me.
he throws it
the knife
I feel the pain
running up my leg
showing my bones
releasing my blood
it is blue
my blood is cold
it splatters my face
sprinkling my features
dotting them with blue
the blue liquid drips
jumping onto my tongue
I taste dirt
my blood is dirt
blue is all I see
blue is all I become
I am blue
blue is me.
a distant shout
who is it?
a cry for help
surely
the sound is mangled
twisted
young
desperate
hopeless
mine
the sound is mine
I shut my mouth
but I still hear it
chilling my blue blood
ringing in my ears
shaking my breathing
jump-starting my heart
then it's over
the scream has ceased
and silence returns
sounding more deadly than ever before.
still falling
only black do I see
the evil
the monsters' playground
the demons' joyride
and someone is hungry
it wants me
my innocence
my purity
it wants to take it
it feeds on people
people like me.
weightlessness
objects hitting me
ghosts' fingers prodding me
as I fall
I fall down
down into this never-ending hole
this abyss
for eternity
restless
empty
yet full
filled with misery
my worst fears
come back
how did he know?
he knows I'm afraid
the darkness
doesn't help me see
I can't see why
how does he do this?
they cut me again
spilling my blood
oh, the blue
I don't even feel it
I am numb
the sound of me
my skin
being sliced
a quick slashing
and they are done
I am cut
my legs
my arms
my stomach
my face
my neck
I can't see my blood
but I can see how evil it must look.
the thoughts that fell
fell down with me
they too
are damned
they talk to me
they tell me what they see
they can see
blue
yes blue
my cold blood
it is everywhere
I am pale
white
I look sick they say
oh, no
they say
oh, no
they see the bottom
be ready
they say
be ready.
I fall faster still
slowing for nothing
for no one
being pulled down
the puppeteer has me
he's got my string
and he's pulling
with no sign of letting go.
now I hear a song
they all sing it
the notes are cruel
unforgiving
they bump into the others
struggling to be heard
with no set order
it is musical chaos
he yells to me
it is beautiful
and he sings along to his song
it's made for me
musical notes are played
they come up to me
they greet me
they jump
right into my cuts
surging into my blood
they search inside me
no mercy
moving faster
the drum
keeping them steady
pounds faster
picking up tempo
searching
searching
until
they found it
they found
my heart
my soul
the music does the talking
it says to hush
hush now
slow down
my heart listens
and I get sleepy
just stop
they say
just stop
the music is evil
played by the man
the man in the mask
my brains sends
a message
one final request
it says to my heart
speed up
it says
speed up, can't you see?
she is dying
it says
you must speed up!
I still fall
with no way up
letting go of hope
why dream?
dreaming of being saved
when I already know
I'll only be dropped.
I smell
something burnt
burning
oh, no
I know what
that smell
it is flesh
not mine
surely
but belongs to someone else
someone close
they too
they smell of dirt
sinners burning
dead
they are nothing to me
they are the stench
in my nose
nothing more
the smell overcomes all
all the other senses
until it becomes me
and I burn too.
even in the dark
the black
I see something
darker
blacker than black
they are shadows
they mock me
they play
they sing
they dance
they laugh
I fill with evil
hatred
a longing to hurt
hurt the ones behind it all
then
without warning
I hear him
laughing
my pain
is his pleasure
oh so dark
it's over
I'm at the bottom
laying on the cold ground
in a small ball
too weak to stand
in a pool
of dark blue blood
I hold myself tight
I can't trust
these creatures
these beasts.
he likes my weakness
he tells me I am small
I am ugly
I am worthless
I am nothing
he laughs when I cry
I thought that
maybe
just maybe
it would be better
down here
instead of up there.
it's not.
hell is not a game.
death is not an
easy way out.
do not try to visit me.
do not try to rescue me.
for I am more lost
than I hope you will
ever be.
now that I am
at my fate
at the entrance to hell
at the bottom of this grave
of my eternity
and if I am truly
here forever,
I'll have plenty of time
to ask myself
why did I jump?


Details | Narrative | |

DEMONS ALSO CRY

DEMONS ALSO CRY

Beyond the crave for death
All I sought was first,
Weep-not my newborn soul
Where fireflies shine lighter than the lamps
And fishes swam faster than their homes
Like  trampled troubled tramps,
Then, demons also cry.

Groans and moans of pain,
Down they roam like rain
Memories sparked with flashes of feisty flare
For all that is left is nothing but darkness
Piercing the thread of our bond
That even angels dare not dare
Then, demons also cry

Here, days brimmed with sadness
To miscarriage of nights darkness
That even birds glide backward
And when asked why, we say, its nature to nurture
Conscience lye frozen in muss, has God punished us?
Que sera, sera and all go wayward,
Then, demons are also crying
						By Tutuola michael


Details | Lyric | |

From The Peircing Of An Arrow To The Cold Hearted Fate Of love

her life is on the tip of his tongue
the sparkle leaves her eyes
an arrow to his chest
drawing her to her death
a feather falling from the sky
the death of an angel
her wings turn blood red
like the color of the red sea
the sword drawn out of the ground
by her own hands
what he could not do himself
she has done for him
He falls unto to his knees
the arrow she had put into his chest
the greatest of betrayals
She asked for her death wish
Holding the ring in her palm
He looks into her eyes
watching the love she had left for him disappear
Falling into despair
Her face hitting the ground
Blood surrounded her body
He watched as she died
He couldn't move from the love that had pierced his chest


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Other Mom

I was laying on the beach
On a hot August morn
A sudden pain in my gut
I knew that something was wrong
It's Eddie.  I felt it so strong
I Picked up my cell and I called
The emotional pain of it all
My body curled up in a ball
I sat up again to be sure, 
the solar plexus was sore
Why to I question these signs
I know that there isn't a cure
For the feelings I want to ignore
He never answered the phone
I packed up my stuff and went home
I worried all day and all night
The sunrise brought more than just light
The loud banging began at the door
I peeked through the blinds to be sure
There were cops all over the street
Guns drawn made the picture complete
I opened the door full of fear
Oh my God!  Why are they here?
My heart dropped, I wanted to hide
When he said "Sgt. White, homicide."
Is your son home he wanted to know
With his foot in the door I said no
Do you mind if we just have a look
And I backed up after biting the hook
They swarmed through the house 
Guns up in the air
Upstairs to his room
They looked everywhere
My solar plexus was right
I'm glad I came home last night
But where did he go?  I needed to know
His innocence still in my sight
The officer said have a seat
Let's talk about where he could be
A boy was found dead in the street
A witness put Ed at the scene
Don't worry he said as I pulled my robe tight
Your son was a victim of robbery last night
I know he's afraid to come out in the light
I didn't believe him.  But I knew he was right.
My son was afraid and now I knew why
He took someone's life who's mother will cry
He was just seventeen a year younger than Ed
Why do these kids seem to be so misled?

What happened that night is a mom's biggest fear
A child was lost in the drug war I hear
The exchange in the alley of weed for the cash
Was a set up to rob him of all  that he had
When the kid put a gun against my son's head
Said 'empty your pockets' or soon you'll be dead
He had no idea that the pocket was packed
With a 38 special protecting the cash
The rest of story is packed in a box
The panic, the fear, the action, the shock
He emptied the gun and ran for his life
While Nicholas bled on the pavement that night
My heart cries to God asking why must I be
The mom of the kid who killed her baby
I cry for her loss as if it were mine
I beg her forgiveness, and I offer her mine.
You don't want to be either one of these moms
Our children at risk, a sign of the times
God please shine Your light on this good Earth today
We're all human beings who've just lost our way.


Details | Free verse | |

First Thing You Should Know 2

First thing you should know, is this isn’t a poem, it’s not a story, it’s not a song.  These 
are just the mad ramblings of a genius with a headache. 
Watching the smoke curl between his fingertips, he wonders.  Is it his body that’s on 
fire or his soul?  Physically he feels fine yet he sees the flames, inside the pain is 
excruciating yet, not a scratch to be seen.  Isn’t that a thought though, not a scratch to 
be seen on his soul.  Why is it that the scratches and cuts that do the most damage are 
the ones you can never see?  How can that much pain not leave a visible mark?  How 
much pain can the soul take before it turns into the story of humpty dumpty, never to 
be put back together again?  Isn’t it funny how you can forget your dying, when you 
have died inside?
First thing you should know, is this isn’t a poem, it’s not a story, it’s not a song.  These 
are just the mad ramblings of a genius with a headache.


Details | Free verse | |

Alive

And we are left here Like maggots—dirty, parentless…devastated Always feeding on the gruel…the cruel Fattening our lives in the moneyless bilk Shocking like a bee sting, yet soft as silk We are the forgotten I am watching the others grow rotten But I am cleansed and raw with glee Because…though blinded with slime…I SEE… I rise to the sound of the agonizing screams Of rapes, murders, of violent fists…weeping minds My definition of true finds… I smile when any possible hope arrives Fate laughs, knowing I constantly scream inside I am amused of it all…I can’t stop laughing As bitter tears began to fall I HATE ALL OF YOU… I WANT TO KILL YOU ALL… But I love that I can take anything From the nothing we have all been labeled The sick, the low…the mentally unstable Watch me roll up in a ball A naughty tease to death’s lull I love your silence… I love your intense fall And we are more alive than any of you We are crazed by your belligerence Aching to be emotionless SHARE YOUR INDIFFERENCE SHARE IT… Give us something to be left with So the others can die As Fate veers its head looking in the mirror Listen to her laughter—do you hear her? She watches and waits To find her maggots have grown wings… Screw your selfish indifference...we fall to fly We are more alive than any of you Though quickly we die


Details | Lyric | |

Watch Me Die

The petals of a rose, they tremble and they fall
Just like my aching heart, my backs against a wall
so I Scream- but no one seems to hear me 
(and) I Bleed- but no one seems to worry 
(and) I Cry- but no one spares a passing glance
(and) I Die- no one seems to care

My mask, it melts away
as the flames burn through my bones, the pain it never fades
and its worse because i know the angels are not here to save me
everthing but you hates me
and im stuck with all this trapped inside
Im forced to sit and watch me die

Im in an empty room...
all hope disenegrates.
nothing left to do but get drunken, high
im willing to do anything just to get by

so I Scream- but no one seems to hear me 
(and) I Bleed- but no one seems to worry 
(and) I Cry- but no one spares a passing glance
(and) I Die- no one seems to care

My mask, it melts away
as the flames burn through my bones, the pain it never fades
and its worse because i know the angels are not here to save me
everthing but you hates me
and im stuck with all this trapped inside
Im forced to sit and watch me die
Im forced to sit and watch me die


Details | Blank verse | |

The Bones In The Hole

As a star to a child,
Far from earth,
Born in the wild,
Nurtured from birth,

By an addict within,
Leaves behind a mistake,
Forgiveness for her sin,
Sympathy she'll fake.

Disbelief arose the town,
Betrayed by their own kind,
Picture torn down,
No more body to find,

The departure was planned,
By an indecisive soul,
A printed story to stand,
The bones in the hole.


Details | I do not know? | |

(It Feels) Like: This too shall pass

Like the end
Like a death
Like you cant catch your breath
Like it wont end
Like the pain will kill you
Like tomorrow will be full of more pain
Like your heartbeat will stop
Like no one likes you forever
Like you will never love again
Like all you ever known has rejected you
Like your soul is crying
Like your darkest place has kicked you out
Like you will never recover
Like you are the ONLY one
Like you can’t go own another moment
Like you are the biggest fool
Like the LIE is real
Like the truth did not set you free
Like she is the only love
Like being ask to live the rest of your life without LOVE
Like there is no forgiveness for you
Like God stop your blessings
Like you have flat lined but didn’t die
Like you die every every day every day
Like you are the worst person ever
Like God doesn’t love you
Like you won’t make it back from the pain
Like you want to weep
Like you want to weep
Like you want to weep
Like there will never be someone who adores you…for you
Like your heart is broken
Like you can’t go on
Like you love a love that don’t love you back
Like you don’t know how to love, so it asks to be excused and leaves
Like your life and your love won’t ever matter
Like you want be blessed anymore 
Like you have wasted so much time…
Like you want to just die… (Make the pain stop)
Like hope is as hope does…no hope for you
Like they get away ….Free and clear
Like you are left broken 
Like they get to live HAPPY EVER AFTER
LIKE: THIS TOO SHALL PASS


Details | Free verse | |

Words Unspoken

                                                  Anger shrouds my sorrow,
                                                  a storm rages deep within.
                                                  Questions without answers
                                                  swirl around my mind.
                                                  Damn! this emotional confusion.

                                                  Why the sacrifice?
                                                  Why the trade off?
                                                  Was it loneliness?
                                                  Was it greed?
                                                  Damn! the sadness I cannot feel.

                                                  Did you love me?
                                                  Were you proud of me?
                                                  Did you even care?
                                                  Why didn’t we talk?
                                                  Damn! your legacy of silence.
                                
                                      Rage! Rage! against the death of the light.
                                      I curse the words unspoken, the truth not shed.
                           Why God?...Why?...Why must we part before the heart to heart?  


Details | Free verse | |

The longest conversation

I forgot Him who stood by me all this time
Now with nothing left I go back to Him
And He soothes me with a soft hand
Strokes my hair tells me its all about to end
My pain  my guilt its Him who's left
He tells me its a choice I have to make
Death is always an option never self imposed
He told me He is not cruel, He loves me a lot
When I cry in the corner , He wipes my tears
Life might be unfair , but death is not
A new beginning is all what I want
He told me I have never let go of faith
Even when I sinned or betrayed
He sighed when I made mistakes
He smiled at the lessons learned
He looked at me when I looked away
He was there to talk when no one was
He saved me from so much that could have gone wrong
I drifted away , He brought me back
He showed me the way , when I was lost
He trusted me but I trusted no one
Now when I gave up He came to me again
I looked for everyone , never thought its Him
Asked Him , how did I find you?
He said I am amongst those pieces of your broken heart
I was shocked , you were here all this time?
Yes I was always in your beating heart
I felt the pain more than you did
Every time you cried, i was crying with you
Did they realize they stabbed me when they hurt this heart
It bleeds with my pain and some of yours
We are one maryam, all hearts combined
Man will never realize , its the same for all of us
You have to keep breaking your heart to discover me
You look astonished , is it hard to believe?
I replied , you dwell in the heart and I have hurt some too
Yes , I felt that more than they did boo
I am sorry , I don't know why you are still with me
Because I can't let you go , you are a part of me
He said , man is guilty but how soon he forgets
I love all , more than a mother who begets
You are scared of hell, is that why you pray?
The fire is more powerful, then the love I display?
You have been given free will to perceive
Fear of my brutality is not what I need
They think I'm unfair , ruthless and cruel
some scared to say , I know , I made you fool
You've made your own ways of getting close to me
Everyway I adore , I acknowledge everything you do
Universe is love , not some punishment and rules
Believe that I am, and the truth appears to you
If I wanted slaves, I would give you no will
Man is made to discover , man is made to choose
I listen and I watch , I never let you go
You are so dear to me,every unique soul
So its your decision now, come see more
Death is just the beginning of what you really are


Details | Narrative | |

Her name is Lovely part 1

Date: 12/31/1787
Ding dong, ding dong, sounds the door-bell
She wakes up; open her window the sun is raising
Knock, knock, some one is at the door
She rushes to the door thinking is the mailman 
She is expecting a love letter from Iraq
She finally answer the door but stead of the mail man is an officer from the army, he is
well dress and carries a small box with him and inside of the box is an American flag with
three different medals.
One medal is for being a soldier of the US Army, the second medal is for being a national
hero, and the third one, is a medal of honor for dying for his country.
She goes crazy crying out for help, screaming all out that she was expecting a baby.
“I’m really sorry” the officer says
“If there anything I could do please call me” he reached his wallet and pulled out a
business card and gave it to her.
“He was a brave man” he said
The officer turned around and left the house with out hesitation.
Poor girl was drowning in her own tears; she still didn’t believe what just happen 
“Lord please help me”, “help me go through this horrible pain” she cries out.
She goes back to the bed and tries to sleep it off, but it didn’t work out, the pain was
too much just to act like nothing didn’t happen.
She finally falls as sleep after several hours of crying painfully.
She tosses and turns all night long, sweating like crazy with massive pain on her chest 
While she was having a horrible nightmare; dreaming about the death of her husband-


Details | Free verse | |

Untwisted

Sometimes the memories won’t fade 
         All the places we have seen
         All the prices we have paid 
The memories of the happy as well as the sad 
            The people we’ve lost
           The friends that we had 
Some memories just seem like a ghost 
I always lost everyone that I loved the most 
The wind would just carry them away 
             Along with my tears 
            And my ability to pray
    I wonder how far is heaven from here?
              How many more heartaches 
                 How many more tears 
              I wonder how far it is away
Because I have so many things that I wish to say 
To all the people that I loved and I lost 
             I’m not even tripping 
             My heart paid the cost 
The reaper rode the river in a bikers disguise 
I’ll never forget the fear in my mother’s eyes 
    As he drug her under and then let her go 
Through my four year old veins hate started to grow 
My eyes were blind my ears were deaf 
After that I forgot  
           There was anything left  
Karma is like poker for it is bound to luck 
When I was just a boy 
God through me under the truck 
Of all the things in life we feel 
   We are all bound to God’s will 
Passion is a doorway between love and hate 
    God is the dealer in the game of fate 
              Our place is not to question why 
                       For if we do our faith will die 
            The deeper we hate the deeper we love 
            I was gifted wisdom by the Lord above 
                    Every gift comes at a price 
A world of experience behind my advice 
     Every smile holds a lifetime of pain 
Nothing that happens should happen in vein 
                         It is our choice that which we do 
 Know in your heart these words are true 
The harder we fall the further we climb 
             No ones life is totally sublime 
Illusion after illusion will be offered to you 
                 But only the living word is true 
The living word that beats in your heart 
Will keep you safe as the world falls apart 
Through the pain of a boy watching his mother die 
It’s never to late to kiss the sky
A man of faith who could never give up 
Please come break my bread and share in my cup 
By the time our journey is through 
                      I’ll share all I am with you 
          Hopefully somewhere in my words you’ll see 
              ---Untwisted is truly the way to be---



Details | Free verse | |

Pronouncing the Dead

How can you look someone in the eyes and tell them it's the end?
How can you possibly do that without shedding tears?
Or even blinking?
Do you not feel it? That pain, that pain that's taking over
Their soul, as you tell them their life is ending?
Or maybe it's just that you have lost your own soul? 
In that instant when you found out that the greatest part of yourself
Is about to disappear,
That its light was about to be permanently extinguished.
Can't you feel it? That sorrow that slowly shutters their hearts?
Or the fear that's taking over their minds? it's a furious fire,
Cutting off any glimpse of hope with its smog,
That fear, its suffocating their soul into its last gasp.
Can't you see it? How that laughter ends sharply, in pain?
How it breaks in half every time, never to relapse into its fullness?
How the darkness stealthily takes over those, once life-filled, eyes?
That following calm,
It's the call of darkness,
Smoothly enchanting their soul into submissiveness.
Until all is in deadly silence,
Their bodies still, their souls forever gone into unknown.
Do your tears come then? Do you feel their pain then?
Do you see it? Or do you stay the same?
Unchanged, unemotional, shell shocked,
And forever unbelieving still?


Details | Blank verse | |

Blood and Bullets

Inspired by the Connecticut tragedy and another minor shooting that happened in my home state
-------------------------------------

Blood and Bullets

That night we cried ourselves to sleep
For each of the little children the blood did weep
Serve upon this misery and damage
No words will excuse the savage

The vultures swoop, spread the sugar coated lies
But still the frozen child dies
Yet they still wish to remove what little safety we have
But they fail to see that will not stop the slings and arrows they have

For the media projects the fame they crave
Like wild dingos they consume what we fail to save
Serve and protect is not the duty of just some but all as a whole
ALL AS A WHOLE

And we fail
And we fail

The cameras prance around like costumed horses in a dance
All the while the mud splattered reality burns and singes the lines of damned fantasies
We are to blame, shining glitter and fame on the damned souls that should be burned
We spit acidic words of hate all the while praising them in glittering spectral lights of fame 
They do not heed the angry words, but revel in the talk of them...them..
Them...

It's

All

About

THE KILLER

Blood and bullets pollute the spoiled ground but no one cares for the rotten
Sadness rings through for a week but soon the victims are forgotten
But no one forgets the criminal...Infamous
He is immortalized by the fame...fame...infamous

Blood and bullets
Blood and bullets
Blood and bullets
Blood and bullets

Blood stains
Bullets jump

dead forgotten
left rotten

Monster remembered

remembered

Blood and bullets

Blood

and bullets


Details | I do not know? | |

The Hidden Sadness Behind Her Eyes

From a distance she looks at peace, having fun doing her thing. But objects don't 
always appear the same from afar, if you take a deep look into someone's eyes it 
tells the story.

Her eyes once filled with hopes and dreams for the future full of happiness and 
joy. Her eyes now sit only filled with the tears and sorrows of her life fading, like 
the now dim twinkle that once shone so bright in her eyes.

If you look deep into her eyes, you notice the pain and torture she tries so hard to 
cover up. If you ever have the chance to see pass that shield that tries to cover up 
the pain in her eyes, you will see that her eyes are now empty.

Her eyes seem lifeless but in her mind she is being held a prisoner. Not 
knowing if things will get better. For every time she thinks she is at her lowest 
she finds out it is bottomless, like her cold, dark, empty, lifeless eyes.

She often wondered if it was really worth sticking it out, for if it wasn't to get better 
what was the point.

She stands in front of the mirror. Tears running from her eyes down her cheek to 
end at her heart. Her heart which is cold and frosted over.

She misses the happiness and joy she once felt, now she is numb and her heart 
beats no more. She looks deep into her own cold eyes with anger, knowing it is 
all her own fault why her sorry excuse of a life is this way.

She is tired of it all, she just wants it all to stop. She feels like her brain is about 
to explode. She just wants silence and to be free of this pain and torture.

She takes one last look into that mirror, deep into those empty eyes. She closes 
her eyes, her last tear rolls down her cheek. Her body trembles with anger.

She opens her eyes to notice them filled with anger and hate. She hated that 
person in the mirror more than anyone could imagine. Her fist clenched with 
furry, she smashed the mirror.

She looked at herself in the mirror on the floor. She was broken in a million 
pieces and knew she could never be put back together. She picked up the piece 
of glass that her eyes were upon. She then fell to the floor and lied in the 
shattered glass that was her life.

Her eyes are open. The pain and suffering is gone. She is released from the 
torturing hell that was her life. She is free now and the twinkle now forever back in 
her eyes.


Details | Free verse | |

Wisps

"Friend,
Mind wandering through misty woods.
You don't understand your purpose.
Friend,
I knew you too little,
Please do not shed your salty emotions,
Not out of anger, not out of sadness.
Friend,
You now lose your way so easily,
You sink, you burst, you burn inwardly.
You weep from frustrations, 
From the guilt of an honest smile,
From pains, that you forget for a moment,
That come swiftly back to haunt you of your loss.
I understand, dear friend.
You once had a light and the woods seek to snuff it out.
Do not fear, dear friend,
Friend follow me, as I once did you.
Friend, now you see?
Yes, you see,
The little wisps in the fog that guide us home."

~In memory of Bill Hamman, and all else who have suffered the pains of Alzheimer's


Details | Classicism | |

Time

                  I miss you more and more everyday, That's why I drink so much to take this   pain away. The pain don't really go away it comes back, and I get so lost I don't know how to act. I get lost in my thoughts of you, It kills me you can't come back ever no matter what I do, This is the hardest thing I ever had to go threw. Some people say time will heal, but I know I'll be missing you still, It feels like I'm living in a bad nightmare I wish it wasn't real. If I could go back in time, I would go back and press rewind. I would go to that day the 2nd of July, and make sure you were okay and you didn't die. All I got got now are our memories and the tears I cry, To keep it together it's hard but believe me I try.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Only Way

A life of pain and mistaken thoughts
Afew sliced veins a kid mistaught
A kids mistrust
His soul in tatters
To his wrist this razor was thrust
His dreams shattered
A life of lies
A kid misunderstood
His unheard cries
Wanting nothing but to cause some good
Sitting alone
Thinking of his past
His future unknown
For this day will be his last
Wanting only for this pain to be gone
Suicide, the only way he knows how
So he knows this dawn
It will be over now, all over
He grabs his blade
Holds it to his wrist
His life betrayed
Longing to feel its final kiss
He screams
Blood starting to gush
It was just like his dreams
Such a rush
He smiles knowing
The pain is over now
His blood if flowing
It was the only way he knew how


Details | Rhyme | |

Coyote Full of Secrets Deep and Dark PT4

Her sharp nail cut away the muscle from the bone
Each tormented scream of his was heard by her and him alone
He panted between screams and shouted, “Do you know who your father is?”
“It was the medicine man and I’m his son, you brother, please”

“I… know,” she whispered, “Now catch your breath, I want you alert,”
“Because this is where things are going to really hurt.”
The pain he felt from the boiling water sent him into a blackness so thick
A blackness he could feel against his skin that made him sick

At least the pain was gone, he thought he was dead
Until he heard her voice echo in his head
"Come back, come back to reality," it said

He heard whimpering and cries
From the demons cowering with “I’m glad it’s you,” teary fire red eyes
Just before, he was dragged back to consciousness
That moment he would dell on as a painless heavenly bliss

His nose was filled with the stench of his own flesh
He threw up at the sight of his bloody chest 
The excruciating pain reminded him of reality afresh

This time he lay there, he was not alone 
There were a thousand of his tormented tribesmen and she was sitting on a throne
Next to her was an eagle and a bear riddled with maggots to the bone
They were in the land of the gods, a hell he would call his new home

The village lies desolate, a village that once thrived full cheer
It took one little mistake which imprisoned with fear
And one by one they began to disappear 

This is the story I was told by a man
Who hides in the town begging for food, when ever he can
I don’t know where he goes or where he has been
But since last month he disappeard… never to be seen

** Sorry P.D I didn't know how to end it but there is your Coyote**


Details | I do not know? | |

A Disease

Depression is a disease
A disease just like cancer
Some people underestimate it
“Snap out of it” is not an answer.

I may not have any open sores
Or lumps that you can see
They are all on the inside
And the pain won’t let me be

I have tons of scars
That covers my wrist
I lie awake at night and pray
That by death I may be kissed

It’s a real pain inside
People don’t understand
They are not willing to give
The love I demand

On the outside I look healthy
On the inside I know I’m not
The pain gets worse everyday
Even worse that I could have thought

I withdraw myself and put myself
In a place where I can’t be seen
All because life can be so
So extremely mean

If I go missing, then please don’t bother
Don’t worry your little head
Because the next time you find me
I may as well be dead



Details | I do not know? | |

This Thing Inside

Do you hear it?
that cracking sound,
It's just my heart breaking down.

Did you see that?
that sad broken man,
Who's lost and still not found.

Can you bear it?
this world that's down,
and quickly falling to the the ground.

Can you take it?
this constant feeling,
of joy within a rope and ceiling.

Through these years of pain and sorrow there's one thing i know,
If you take your heart out and parade it on a show,
You will be destroyed inside and feel every blow,
the pain grows on and all you can do is hang in there and watch it,
until that day the pain breaks free and takes you whole self with it,
until that day you'll be in shame and ask your self these questions.

Can you feel it?
that small thing,
that grows into a lonely ending.

Can you taste it?
that sour feeling,
that expands into a world of hate.

Do you hate it?
this constant ringing.
this voice inside wont keep quiet.

Will you stop it?
the final question,
by then it will be to late.


Details | Lyric | |

Why me, cruel world, WHY ME?

Cruel, cruel world,
Why me?
I never hurt you,
Why must you hurt me?

When does it stop?
That tearing pain inside me.
Will it ever leave?
It's slowly driving me crazy.

This life will end,
But why must I wait?
Let me go now,
I want it to end!

Don't hold me here,
In pain that's so deep.
Take me away,
To a better place.

I want out,
I never wanted this.
Why should I live?
I don't want to be here!

You tear me apart,
You say to be strong.
I'm crackling and crumbling,
As I scream out in rage;

        WHY ME?


Details | Rhyme | |

I wish your death was just a dream

I wish that your death turned out to only be a bad dream.
Your demise makes me feel like I'm coming apart at the seams.
I wish that I would wake up and realize that it was only a nightmare.
But you really are gone forever and it proves that my life is unfair.
If I could wake up, I would be so pleased and it would be great.
Your death hurts so bad that at times I can't even think straight.
I've heard other people say how bad their loved ones deaths hurt them.
But a man doesn't know how bad it really is until it happens to him.
The Lord decided to call you home even though I asked him not to.
I wish your death was just a dream because I would still have you.

[Dedicated to Agnes Johnson (1948-2013) who passed away on March 6, 2013.]


Details | I do not know? | |

Freedom from the Wall

Clouds unite
they end all fight
darkness prevails
the bride with no veil
to see with no eyes
why do we despise
as the world does turn
our minds they do churn
thinking too much
my mind loses clutch
and the wall does grow
so high i cannot throw
my words at your mind
they fall short then behind
frustration sets in
as the sun goes to fin
the darkness will win
not i as this is my sin
i will glance with no stare
find the pain that is there
and the wind will be fair
as it carries my prayer
one day you will feel
what i meant to steal
as the darkness will peel
my pain from this real
communicate i cant
i try but its faint
i turn on my pain
i turn on my pain
i turn on my pain
i cannot regain
i want to show the day
that the sun will remain
as the clouds unite
they don't end all fight
it is i that must cite
it is i that must fight
for only i can prevail
only minds can grow stale
if not used you will trail
if not used you will fail
if not seen its your grail
if not noticed your in hell
i will try to tell all
i must try to not fall
only you will be seen
in my eyes of ever clean
that the tears will one day fall
down my cheek in all glory
as they will be of not pain
but rejoice as i gain
and rejoice we shall reign
to the water of no shame
as i finally can blame
no one else for my rain
and all the world will see
it was i that was freed
it was i with no creed
that was released to bleed


Details | Rhyme | |

Nobody Knew

Nobody knows the pain she hides,
No one cares to look inside.
This little girl that’s only nine,
Has to fight to stay alive.

Her mom’s an alcoholic,
And her daddy does drugs.
She gets beaten and bruised,
Instead of kisses and hugs.

Nobody hears the little girl’s cries,
Nobody notices her wet swelled eyes.
When her mommy is drunk and her daddy is high,
So she doesn’t get beaten, she has to hide.

She’s sick of the pain,
That she suffers from every night.
She’s sick of getting punished,
For her mom and dad’s fights.

So, she went downstairs and grabbed a rope,
And hung it way up high.
She stood on a chair and put her head through the noose,
And jumped and hung there to die.

Her mom came home drunk that night,
Her daddy came home high.
To find her hanging by the rope,
To find out she had committed suicide.

Nobody knew the pain she hid,
Nobody cared to look inside.
The little girl that had wet swelled eyes,
Committed suicide and no longer has to fight to stay alive.


Details | Rhyme | |

Death in Family

A death in family occured
Our family lost hope and faith
This pain that I lost someone that I loved had shattered my goals and dreams
I just wish that this isn't what it seems
I wish I can undo this nightmare
Just to think about that person, I just can't bare
I wish we could of said our last goodbye
Even all of us
We all shed our tears
Knowing that our loved one has passed, but she isn't with pain nor fear
We are happy for one thing
She's up there with the Lord and Angels singing "Love lifted me" 


Details | Lyric | |

THE NIGHT JESUS SAVED HER

November 27, still fresh in my mind. It was the year 1997, and the night my daughter died. Her daddy came home drunk that night, she had a cold and was laying in her crib. When she started to cry, I feared the worst, and worst did happen, and I was left all alone. Jesus saved her that night, from the pain and the suffering, but I was left without my daughter, and nobody to show me love. A tiny little baby, only four weeks old, did not have the chance to say "Good Bye!" She was so innocent, and knew of no faults. Just a small little soul, had no chance in this life. This year I will not be celebrating Hallow's Eve, this was her birthday, and the day I was happy my daughter came into my life. November 27th, was the day that she died, but it was also my birthday, and the day I wished I had died. Her daddy was sentenced to life in prison, no parole, and no chance of escape. My daughter will not be spending no holidays with me, and I will never hear "Happy Mother's Day, Mommy. I love you so much!" My birthday used to be special to me at one time, but to me it is only a dreaded memory of the death of my little angel. Jesus will show her daddy no mercy, cause an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth. With arms wide open, I run to the Lord, He feels my pain and He feels my sorrow. The flashbacks still haunt me of that dreary night, but I must learn to manage and learn to cope. My daughter may be dead within my mind, but in my heart, my daughter always lives.


Details | Free verse | |

Is Death such a bad thing?

Is death such a bad thing?
Its the end of all the pain and suffering,
If you could see the end of all your tears,
Death is not so bad, But I cant think clear.
Is death such a bad thing?
It would stop all the pain of a broken heart,
It would be an end of all the bad things,
Of not knowing what to do, or where to start.
Is death such a bad thing?
I'm not quite sure,
I think I would just stop breathing,
For all my sadness to end death is a cure.  
Is death such a bad thing?
When it keeps your best friend,
When all they had left,
Was endless suffering.
Is death such a bad thing?
Where loneliness would be at bay,
Death is not so bad you see,
It took all the bad things away.


Details | Free verse | |

Open Call

Business is booming and there's no end in sight, Death came to a huge 
decision tonight.

He called in his partners Pain and Sorrow and said "we're holding auditions 
tomorrow."

"Auditions, Pain asked, what are you looking for?" For a third partner and he 
reached for the door.

The very next morning hanging there on the wall, was a huge flyer 
reading "DEATH'S OPEN CALL"

Come one come all but you better give your best audition, because we only need 
to fill one position.

As the day moved along Sorrow watched in disbelief, next in the line was his old 
buddy Grief.

Grief walked in and handed them his lengthy resume', thank you for coming 
friend you'll know by the end of the day!

The auditions had been going on steady for hours, the decision would be tough, 
they all had great powers.

Next in line would be Misery and he gave them his best, "Thank you for coming, 
wait outside with the rest".

Death having some free time sat in on the last few, after over 1000 auditions it 
was now time to choose.

Death left the decision up to Pain and Sorrow; they would just fill him in by 
tomorrow.

All that he asked was they used their best discretion, when suddenly in walked 
the vixen Depression.

With eyes dark as night dressed all in black, she walked to the stage and the pair 
just sat back.

She said, "Am I too late for this open call? I just happened to notice the flyer on 
the wall." 

We'll give you a shot now show us what you can do; this is only because we've 
both heard of you.

They told her to give it her best shot and that's just what she did, for her first 
victim a sweet little kid.

His name was Billy he was only 13, she found him alone sitting out on a swing.

You see he had just lost his parents in a huge fire; to be with them again was his 
only desire.

She climbed in his head and she did her thing, Billy took his life right there on the 
swing.

"WOW" they exclaimed lady you are good, come with us now to see the "man with 
the hood".

A new chapter has started with Death’s open call and it all started will a flyer on 
the wall.

No longer a trio, now a quartet, a new force to be reckoned with this you can bet!


 


Details | Verse | |

My Brother

Can you feel the pain of me knowing?
Can you see my pain is it showing?
With blood stained sky, Engraved with lies,
This horrible pain, Is it growing?
This unseen pain eats at my heart,
The day they killed you we were forced to part,
This pain inside so cold so deep,
How can I eat? How can I sleep?
All those horrible days, I swore they would pay,
When they said little brother , that you were dead,
That's when I lost my way,
All these tears of my broken heart,
All  these tears, they are all mine,
All that's left are my tears,
No smiles  left to shine.
They took you from me my brother,
Hiding behind their shields of gold,
Motionless you lay there my brother,
Never to grow old.
They swore to serve and protect you,
But those were all empty lies,
Now at the grave where I buried you,
That's where well say our final good byes.
I miss you so badly my brother,
Miss you that I do,
One day I will come join you,
Why did they do this to you?
I love you my dear brother David,
I cant see through all of this pain,
Ill have vengeance for you little brother,
Their souls is where your blood stained.


Details | Couplet | |

Suicide

From a beam he dangled as the rope choked out his breath
So very soon to end his life as he does the dance of death.
     The grandma sees her grandson and has to take him down
     She lays him on the carpet that is colored brown.

High up on a structure eyes are starring down
Will blackout over come him before he hits the ground;
  The morbid and the curious have finally gone away
  There’s only those who clean the mess, it's just another day.

Dinner on the table with plate and fork and knife
The only thing that's swallowed is a pill to end her life.
  Who said that it is painless have they looked around the room
  The pain does carry on and on far beyond the doom.

With a knife the cut was made now blood spills on the floor
Soon the shadows of the dark will come in through the door.
    Who said there are no victims; reactions carry on;
    This tragedy repeats it’s self; through days that take too long 
    .
With rocks put in her pockets in water not so high
She sucks the water to her lungs that's how she chose to die.
    The husband of Virginia Wolf, now he knows too well
    His days are filled with misery and his life's a living hell.

Desperate to escape he points the pistol to his head
The triggers pulled, a roar goes off; and just like that he's dead.
      When she opened up the door she saw the pieces of his brain
      The blood in puddles on the floor; was like water from the drain.

Blood is on her shirt; where she held him for too long
But it's simply far too late the life in him is gone.
    Who says that it is painless have they looked around the room
     I know the pain does carry on and on far beyond the doom.

    .


Details | I do not know? | |

As I Walk

As I walk through the darkness
Of this dark forbidden death planet
I shall fear what comes my way
Can’t trust a damn thing
All I can do is turn and run
To try and out run
to try and hide from the misery
That comes with this damned thing called life.
This hell of mine that is shared with others
Others who don’t know my pain enough
No matter how hard I try to explain
They shut me away and banish me
Like some kind of evil creature
shun me like I was a worthless bum
Or some diseased hurt creature
People wonder why people commit suicide
why there is so much pain and misery that comes with this planet
People… humans are what causes this hell on earth
the pain and misery of this death planet
Dear Lord, just take me away
What have I done wrong to deserve to be here.


Details | I do not know? | |

Take this pain away

Take this pain,
Take it all away.
Take my life, I don't care to see another day.
Take your apologies. Take them to someone who cares.
Take this pain,
Take it away.
Take this knife, take my life...
Take this blade,slide it across my wrist.
Take this pain away for this is my dying wish.
Take my body gently lay it down.As the blood flow starts,
take my memory and with it never part.
Take these words as i promise my revenge, my death will be avenged.
As though a mystery to the mind, loved one's will soon find that you are the 
reason for 
my early depart.
My killer was you........For you were the one who put the pain in my heart!!


Details | I do not know? | |

~Unforgiving Soul~

Life can be beautiful and long. Or life could be short and depressing. Some people 
act happy when they are sad. Their anger will grow and only get mad.  Fear to live 
can be so strong. Some people will cut life short before they're time. They feel 
the only way out is suicide. For death is a gift that God gave us. But love is a 
choice that some don't follow. The hatred rejection breathes can turn you hallow. 
Your eyes tell the truth of an unforgiving soul. The darkness you seek is out of 
control. One day at a time it consumes you. Then at last your finally threw. You 
are bitter and heartless, angered, and cold. Sooner or later your evil will unfold. 
You have gone into hiding and left the light. Any chance you get you try to fight. 
The pain you buried so many years ago. The scars and fears of an unforgiving soul. 
Your day will come and you will forgive. The child you saved was abandoned and 
hide. Your life is peaceful and calm. Your little baby will grow up happy and 
strong. You saved a life and got yours back. You had so much pain and rage filled 
attacks. You can sleep without the dreams of a viscous man. Everything is Better 
now you can finally think. You stop and wonder why he took that last drink? Why he 
abused your young body? Where he was when he hid? Why he did the things he did? 


Details | I do not know? | |

my crazy life

I sometimes sit and wonder why my life is so crazy
And other times I try not to let it even phase me
But its hard to forget about it when things happen in my life that only god can 
change
He can only change the things in my life that have me feeling so strange
Feeling like I need her just to ease my pain
Dang! I lost my train of thought see things will never be the same
My crazy life
This messed up world.
Confusion, depression
I just need her , the girl
I need her to hide me from all the pain that wants me
The pain that feeds on my flesh and tare my insides apart
The pain that took the hope I had in my heart
One life to live but no reason to go on
Six feet under the ground is where I think I belong
Dead. 
Gone to a better place
Had  to leave this world with her in my face
The girl
Now there is no more of me, I got away
My crazy life is history


Details | I do not know? | |

In Love With The Blade

I knew a girl who lost all she had
Leaving her lonely, lost, and terribly sad
Having no one to talk to and no one to call
She fell in love with the blade releasing it all

She found peace in the pain that came with each cut
Behind her bedroom door, always securly locked and shut
The sight of the blood left her satisfied time after time
But she found that just one wasn't enough to clear her mind

She cut more and more each time hiding the scars
For fear of a padded room, surrounded by bars
So finally she thought why not end it all
Sitting in her room she planned her last letters and calls

She wrote of her sorrows and how she couldn't let go
And how sorry tonight she was giving her soul
Then she ran the bath water and locked all the doors
Knowing that she wouldn't see tommorrow or feel the pain anymore

Then she climbed into the tub and grabbed that faithful blade
That she'd grown to love and find refuge in each day
As she cut down the middle of each wrist on each arm
Not thinking that this would cause anyone else any hurt or alarm

As she began to bleed she became weary and weak
Fearing that maybe this shouldn't have been her release
But it was to late to turn back the damage was done
For her love with the blade had left ehr to far gone

As she began to slip she began to weep
Wishing to finally sleep into an eternal sleep
As she finally slipped away the blade fell to her side
Leaving a cold reality that the love of her blade left ehr to die

So now as I sit I think back to her
And her beautiful life now jsut a blur
That blade that she'd loved had pushed her so hard
That her ivory arms weren't all that were scarred


Details | Free verse | |

Hell Train

This train of pain stop’s at every
Train stop

Seeking all that want to step on
Board

You can buy a ticket or ride free

For he welcome one and he
Welcome all

Twisted faces cries out in a
Relentless cry

Welcome all and I want all

Screams of pain yell to the
Mountain tops

The pain clamps deeper with
With a eerie growl

He said let’s go for a ride

All Around the track and hence
Forth back again

Pain” O” pain run from me I
Swear I will be careful the 
Next go round

Give me peace and  make my
Body free

From this painful drunken state
Am in

For my eyes are blurry

My limbs is crackin”

So much pain for one to endure

The pain is cutting into my heart

It’s piercing through me like a
Sharp knife

Can’t you see my heart is losing
Blood

Drip, drip, drip my blood
Is Rushing and running on the
Floor

Please, Mr. Conductor stop this
Here train

All this blood is making me sick

Let off, “O” let me off

Know getting off you just enter
Into hell...


Details | I do not know? | |

Broken

Piercing glares, ripping me apart.
I plead out for help, but the pain keeps tearing.
My eyes hide the pain, but it can't cover my broken heart.
 
Silent screams, haunting my soul.
The pain is killing me softly,
But it is far too slow.
 
Blood rushing down my wrists.
My fear erasing, my pain is all but gone.
I ask you for help, but I took this risk.
I am all by myself, I am alone.
 
My dreams shaded by your memory.
The scars just won't go away! I need you now!
Have you finally figured out how much you mean to me?
 
But it's far too late, my blood fading, along with my sorrow.
You beg for me to live now....why? I have to ask.
But even so, my soul is shattered, there is no tomorrow.
 
I don't want to remember my life without you,
but it's inevitable, I can't remember the good times.
I can only feel my pain,
My life has been over, since the first day that I met you....


Details | I do not know? | |

Wings of Lead

on wings of lead some shall fly
not to soar but to fall
weighed down by the burdens of life
they tumble out of control
unable to stop or slow down
the pain of life to much to bear
some don’t even care
they are lost and will not be found
their lives seem meaningless
doomed to an eternal wandering
there are those that soar
and those that fall
save yourself I’ll tell you 
while you still can 
for I am falling to
wishing I had done something so long ago
but now I’m falling and I cannot stop
nothing can stop me 
but hitting the bottom 
only death could stop me now
for I am falling and there is nothing to stop me
my life unlived and cut so tragically short
tragic to you maybe 
but freedom to me
no longer weighed down by the wings of lead
I am free of my pain 
pain so severe it made life unlivable
unable to soar with the rest
I fall as do so many
unable to keep up from the weight 
shackled to my misery and depression 
I pray for it to end quick
that I may be set free
free of what haunts me so gravely
the fear of life itself


Details | Salaam | |

Yeh khaalipan


Jab Meri Bechaini Mit Jayegi
Jab Mere Dilko Sukoon Mil Jayega
Yeh Khaalipan Mit Jayega

Do Pal Ki Chandni Ke Liye
Aj Bhi Zinda Hoon Main
Meri Khaamoshi Ke Ageh Aasmaan Bhi Khatam Ho Jayega

Kehne Ke Liye Toh Roz Marta Hoon Main
Thoda Aur Marne Ke Liye
Yeh Deewana Kal Phir Ayega


Details | Free verse | |

Do You Remember

It started with a silent night;
As the winter winds howled outside,
it took only a few seconds;
And all of a sudden the tears began,
Like a rushing river they flowed from my eyes-
Because all of a sudden I knew;
And I was afraid.

Flying out of the bed,
I ran and ran;
I couldn't stop,
So I kept going and going,
And when I had found it-
the deepest darkest place in the house,
I curled up and hid;
Because I knew!
About the pain-
of...death;
All too frightening,
I couldn't hide the fear anymore!
Of being forgotten,
Of being alone,
The fear of every drop of my blood-
Falling in vain..

It took all too long to realize;
The cuts were getting deeper,
And the chains clenched tighter,
Like the teeth of a viper around my throat-
And the thing I feared more than all else,
Had almost taken me within its grasp;
And with each passing day, they came,
Another infinity of sharp red lines on my wrist-
But no longer would I endure,
No longer would I choose suffering!

Because, I was..tired of being afraid,
Tired of all this pain;
What was it all for anyway?
To endure? To live on knowing that I made it?
The fear had been merciless;
And I wouldn't confine myself to this any longer,
Because; I figured it out...

People were made to be free.

The world used to be meaningless,
Life had no point to me- but then,
I thought; And my wondering brought discovery,
And that discovery became an epiphany;
My epiphany! Dare I say it,
The fear of death was left behind;
There was only one cure for my condition-
They called it inspiration.

And I knew from that point on how to conquer death,
Memories- dearest memories- of me,
Would have to stand the test of an eternal clock;
It always ticked, on and on,
And I created, ever passionately,
So that people might remember,
Even after such a mournful passing,
And only one question remains:
Do you remember?


Details | Epic | |

We Lost More Than a Dad

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost half of how we came to be
We lost we four girls first love
We lost our Best Friend

We lost more than just a Dad that day
Our Mom lost her Soul Mate, Her other half 
Our children lost their Papaw
We lost our family’s foundation 
We lost the glue that held us together

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost the Strongest man we ever knew 
We lost the man we looked up too
We lost we four girls Teacher of many things

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We four girls lost our Hero
We lost some of our Light
We lost part of our Heart
We lost part of our Soul

We lost more than just a Dad that day
We lost some of our Courage
We lost some of our Strength
We lost some of our will to fight back
We lost some of our will to carry on
We four girls lost more than a Dad
We lost more than just a Dad that day


Details | Narrative | |

Me, Myself, and I - (Part 1)

Hello Friends... I suffer from Severe Bi-Polar Disorder and this submission was inspired by 
actual events that occured during one of my especially critical manic episodes. Be sure and 
read Part 2 to complete the poem and leave your comments on the Part 2 submission. Thank 
you for allowing me to share my pain for pain shared is pain diminished 


Me, Myself, and I...


“There are things that concern us,”
		Consensed my “Selves” in earnest
““We” fear that “I” have succumbed to delusion”

“And after careful deliberation
		It is with much hesitation
That we choose to delineate upon this confusion”


“Fact is your intuition
		Is riddled with superstition
And your judgment leaves much to be desired”

“So you leave us no recourse
		Don’t push us to use force”
It is then that the “I” was summarily fired


I exclaimed “By whose authority?” Response, “Rule of majority”
“The “Myself” and the “Me,” (forthwith the “We”), are experts in our field”

“And with much technique and time
		And some forays into the sublime
The nature of your malady will be revealed”


“So to keep yourself from having a fit
		Step back and just calm down a bit”
“We,” they said, “certainly have this under control”

“We swear this won’t hurt at all”
		Then I felt my inhibitions fall
Still I said a prayer to God that He keep my soul


You know, fact is I do feel off axis
		As evidenced by such parapraxis
As this prose that I, (or is it “Us”), seek to pen

And with my mind feeling numb
		I finally chose to succumb
And allow the “Me” and the “Myself” to begin


And then came questions in a flurry
		Answer, answer and please do hurry
Not one moment of respite did they give

They pushed and they prodded
		With every “T” crossed and “I” dotted
My mind felt like it had gone through a sieve


And all this psycho-analysis
		Is causing my mind paralysis
The questions, can you stop with the questions please

“Yes, oh yes indeed
		I do believe we have what we need
To make an attempt to identify your unknown neuroses”


Details | Lyric | |

I Hate You Cancer

Dedicated to my Dad who lost his short battle w/ Colon Cancer on June 18,2013

I hate you Cancer
Your vile evil and cruel
You don't care who you hurt
I'll never forget that day
I'll always hate you for it

Your heartless Cancer
You took someone important from me
Someone important from others too
Took people who didn't belong to you
I hate you for it

You disgust me Cancer
You had no right to take him from me
He mattered more than my very own life
I hate you for taking my Daddy
I hate you for taking others too

I hate you with a passion Cancer
You took part of my heart with him
You took part of my soul that day too
I hate you for it
I hate you I hate you I hate you

I hate you with every fiber of my being 
Go back to Hell where you belong
I hate you, others hate you
Your not welcome or wanted here Cancer

I hate you more than his doctor's
I hate you more than God
I hope I get to witness that day
Witness the day you fall
And you will fall Cancer

You're gonna lose the battle one day Cancer
I'm gonna laugh and dance around your grave
You'll finally get what you deserve 
And you'll never be able to take another soul


Sabrina Niday Hansel


______________________________________________________________________
Placed 8th in Poet Destroyer A's  2013 "PINKTOBER" Contest

Please Support a Cure for Colon Cancer & every other type!









Details | Free verse | |

Devil's Hidden Ranch

DEVIL'S HIDDEN RANCH

Coyote howl, dogs growl
Gunshots, dead cow
Red barn left unlock
Horse shoe upon death's door
Tequila in a cup
Salt of cocaine, shadows of insanity
Guitar string, sad song
Bandit near the door, wife on the floor
Hallucinating---Reality
Yelling out her name, he's gone insane
Loaded gun, life is done
Far and near ending his intoxicating fear
The road under the sun
A coward in his path
Responding to the Devil's wrath

In a Hidden Ranch in Mexico!!!!!!
       
:)   SKAT


Details | Free verse | |

The Color Missing

The Color Missing
Red, black, and blue are the colors of our work pens. Red is the color of the blood we spill on other people’s mistakes.  Blue is the color of the songs we sing on tax forms or pay stubs- every page has a secret melody. Black is the color of the streets we fear most. Black is the color of our signature of approval. Black is the color of our death.

‘But what about the Green pens?’ I ask. They say ‘the ink is too hard to see.’


Details | Munaajaat | |

Tell Me

I'm lost hurt and angry
Why did you take his life
I want, No I need to know
Tell me, Tell me why
I deserve to know

Haven't you done enough to him
What'd he ever do to you
He suffered his whole life
Suffered more than anyone deserved
Tell me, Tell me why you did it
I have a right to know

Why'd you let him born to them
Born to worthless parents
Parents who didn't care
They threw him away like garbage
Pawned him off on someone else
Tell me, Tell me why
Explain how you could do that

You gave him Polio
You let others treat him like disease
You took away the full use of his legs
You warped his hand and foot
Tell me, Explain to me why
I deserve to know

You let others think he was crazy
You let it go on for over year
You didn't stop it, Why
Tell me, Give me your reason
Answer me, Help me to understand

You go and make matters worse
You gave him Cancer
You didn't give him a chance to fight back
You just jerked him away from us
Tell me, Tell me how
How you could be so cruel

How can others not question you
When others do it, It's murder
But when it's by your hand
It's your will, Their fate
Tell me, What makes you so different
Your no better than the demons knocking at the door

You heard me beg and plead
You know I'm not afraid to die
I was willing to carry it all for him
I was willing to take my Daddy's place
You didn't even let me say Goodbye
Tell me, Tell me why I couldn't take his place
Answer me, you owe me that much



Sabrina Niday Hansel
~Niday40873~

(motif) Spiritual


Details | Elegy | |

Running

I've trained for this. 
Lungs burning, muscles twitching
as I close in
on the line-
24,25,26.
I see them clearly now-
My wife, my child-
smiling, cheering
as they urge me
through the echoes
of feet smacking
pavement,
through my 
tunneled view of
the victory line,
through my exhaustion,
through my pain.

I've trained for this.
Lungs burning, muscles twitching
as I close in on my targets.
Thousands! There are many!
I can see them clearly now-
a woman, a child-
smiling, cheering
as I slip past
and drop my bags.
And now I am
running
through the 
smoke and through the
screams as runners push
toward the finish line
without legs.

I've trained for this.
Lungs burning, muscles twitching
as I close in
on the scene.
175, 176...
I see them clearly now-
the woman, the child-
lifeless, bleeding
as they urge me
through echoes 
of feet smacking
pavement,
through my
tunneled view of 
torment and death and
I can do nothing but
hold their hand.


Details | Narrative | |

Me, Myself, and I - (Part 2)

Hello Friends... I suffer from Severe Bi-Polar Disorder and this submission was inspired by 
actual events that occured during one of my especially critical manic episodes. Be sure and 
read Part 1 first so as to get the true gist of the poem and leave your comments here on the 
Part 2 submission. Thank you for allowing me to share my pain for pain shared is pain 
diminished.


Me, Myself, and I... (continued)


“Your, (Or “Our”), symptoms seem to intermit
		And the fact that “You’re,” (“We’re”), a hypocrite
Tis no wonder we’re having such problems with diagnosis”

Then “I” had an idea so grand
		To dispense with this at my own hand
A self-inflicted coup de grace would be my prognosis


So while the “Me” and the “Myself” squabbled
		With courage newly cobbled
“I” spotted the dresser drawer and made my run

With fingers fiercely fumbling
		Whilst they continued grumbling
“I” produced from the depths of the drawer a shiny gun


And now my life, though ill-fated
		Was soon to be vindicated
This would affect us all equally the same

Would be no myself or me
		No you, him, us, or we
But an inclusive all would be to blame


It took me a moment to figure
		Out the safety on the trigger
Then “I,” (or “Us”), prepared to do the dirty deed

Then the barrel found my temple
		And as it settled into the dimple
A still small voice did my “selves” choose to heed


Hence a moment of clarity 
		Harkened me to posterity
And I thought what a legacy to leave behind

“Can’t we all find a way
		To save this miserable day
And avoid a broken body for someone to find”


And then deep within my soul
		I felt and heard a simple drum roll
And the differing sides of me just subsided

And with my mind now as one
		I worked to get this all undone
The whole business of this stuff I derided


And tis now true of fact
		That I survived this ordeal intact
And lived to raise my face unto the sky
 
And here now as it ends
		I find I’ve made good friends
With the “Me”, the “Myself,” and the “I”


Thank you for taking the time to share in my poetry. Please feel free to leave your thoughts 
or comments here on this page. 

J. Scott Burns...


Details | Lyric | |

Special

To capture the attention everyone else gets but you
You do whatever you can to get it
Even if its bad
You continue to do it
To get the attention you never had
And the attention you will never get
You want the perfect body and soul that everyone else has
You want to feel important... special
So you seek for a better
Much higher thing
What you need
You dont quite know
But you decide that
You will do whatever it takes to make you happy
And sometimes
That means..
suicide
Sometimes it means
Shooting someone
Because the hole inside your heart needs filled
And thats the only thing you ever had
The only thing you see
The only thing that someone gave to you
The thing that got everyone talking about you
The thing that got everyone to even look at you
So if you decide to kill someone
You kill yourself afterwards
Because you felt lonely again
You felt that no one was watching you
That no one even cared 
Then you think about all the things that 
Bugged you
And you pull the trigger
Then theres no more you
Next time someone sees you
You will be on the news
Where now you are special
And important


Details | Iambic Pentameter | |

Tug


The fog reminded him the winter's edge
how faster can the nightly riding be?
he felt the overthrow and painful sledge,
- the asphalt hit the rider departee.

The roar was heard amid the falling snow
the bike capsized - and hard he fell to slug,
across the never reached horizons' glow,
received her bridal kiss and asphalt's tug.

He danced with her beneath the nimbus cloud
- enjoining the magnificence of waltz;
bestowed, denoted valor, fore avowed,
ambrosial her remembrance was, and false.

Beforetime she became his fate in mists,
perceived their airy dance, surpassed treetops
lithe daughter of woods' emptiness, not kissed
on fares unvisited, where searching stops.

Inside the nimbus celebrating Halls
Collegiate was the feast's inviting dance,
trajectory redemptive, death-ride tolls,
- was thoughtful and cognizable her glance.

So standing tall 'mid honors and dusk shades,
recalled the margins that he raced upon,
three hundred for Persephone of Hades
to be his wed on skyline's denouement.

The bullocky V-engine echoes thence
and crowns the basalt rocks atop the brae
when riders pass and fog is hazy-dense
upon his street-bike-fighter see him sway.

© 09-04-2013, George Venetopoulos
(Iambic pentameter)


Details | Elegy | |

Raindrops and Teardrops


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

All Day Long

All. Day. Long.

I sit there, in my chair, All. Day. Long. 
Glaring at people I hate. 
The people who are but mere memories.
Mere dust in the wind.

All that I know has blown away, 
taken by my faulty actions.
The dull replay of Meteora fills my room with lyrical insanity, 
tempting me with beat and anger. 
But I’ve realised it’s not the music that’s dull.
It’s myself. I am dull. 
 Dull, empty, detached, dead. 
My actions have caused this, my mental instability.

My arms and wrists, they’re crisscrossed with faint pink patterns,
the product of my attempts at reattachment and relief.
Eternal smiles of violet beneath my eyes, wrinkles surround my lips. 
My skin, yellow from the drugs, reflects weakly the sunlight from outside.
I blame everyone but myself, my personality rotten to the core.
My lungs, as well, shredded by smoke that acted like needles.

I couldn’t help myself, I jest in my mind. 
I’ve been trying to shove the blame onto something but myself, 
only to find there is nothing to blame but myself.

My body has been wracked to this state, 
a state well beyond my mere 29 years. 
My mind, hanging from a cliff. 
Threatening to free fall at any moment. 

As I sit there, in my chair, 
memories of an age long gone from my life flash before my eyes.
 A girl I loved, laughing.
 Her and I lying in the grass, at a lake’s edge.
A cat akin to night, eyes green as mine, purring softly in my lap.
Flashes of guns, from a war forgotten by all but me. 

As I reminisce these memories, a spark of feeling—pain.
Upwelling in my gut.
 Through my chest.
 Stabbing into the side of my head.
The pain triggers a new wave of recollection. 

Again, the girl. My mind so foggy I can’t remember her name. 
Dancing slowly to a song no longer heard of. 
Snow. A blush of the cheeks. Hands in mine, warming and comfortable.
The pain in my head intensifies, blinding me. 
I fall from my chair, the first time I’ve moved all day. In 2 days.

Shaking my head, I pull myself up. Standing, I look around. 
Another flash of pain, followed by a sensation I’d all but forgotten.
Her lips. At dusk. The very first time.
I stumble away from an unseen being, crashing into the wall. 
Blinking my eyes furiously, I right myself. 
Waiting a moment, I sit back down. 
And let the dullness take over, the pain ebb away, 
and the memories to replay.
All. Day. Long.


Details | Epitaph | |

BABY

written 28th oct 2012

You were never seen by us, that privilege sadly was not for us 
  an extravagance we were overwhelmed by, the thought of your embrace  
The entire twelve weeks you were a joy to have known, even 'without' being seen 
 hearing about you're arrival, was a blessing at the time you were conceived
For life hadn't been easy and we had all asked God, we even plea'd 

We wait upon the day, you will finally meet us 
 having the honour to love and learn with you, saddly not for us
It brakes my heart as you part, you had already embeded love into my heart
 Just knowing we will now...forever be kept apart

God has other plans for your love that's so strong, blessing us from the start
 we continually pray, maybe he'll deside to let you stay around
But the intense pain of tears and loss, are constantly falling all around
 just let it be known, we all desperately wanted you to become part of us
 
We all will love you for eternity, you are now forever one of us,
 although it was only for a very slight second, it was better than never
You are from this day on, embedded into our hearts forever...
   the impact you have left 'unborn young one'' my beloved grandchild....
                                  "Angel" 2012


Details | Ode | |

ODE TO FRAN

ODE TO FRAN
I had to wait
Until I could write
Without shedding a tear
But, alas, that time will never come.

I hear a noise
I look around, she won’t be there
She won’t return
I have to accept 
The finality of her death.

She was everyone’s friend
She loved people and 
People loved her in return 
Strangers would talk to her
No matter where
As if they knew her for eternity.

Her family always came first
No matter the pain she felt 
She had a need 
To keep pain to herself
She did not want to worry us.

She made my life whole
She gave me two wonderful children
And she always gave of herself
She was a bright, caring, compassionate soul.

We loved each other
Without ever a doubt
And,
 We made each other happy
We were a good, complete couple.
 
Now my loving partner is gone
She will not return
And,
I have to accept 
The finality of her death.



Details | Tanka | |

Time to say goodbye my love

My chain is now frail
Damaged by your weaken link 

My venture begins 
Left with simple forgiveness 

Unwarranted departure. 


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Bleeding Out

She's holding in her hand
The only thing she can feel
Growing so weak she can barely stand
She chooses instead to kneel
To a forgotten God she prays
This pain is more than I can bear
Have mercy; please take the rest of my days
To the mirror, she turns to stare
Into eyes more than half dead
A girl without hope
There was no one to take the pain in her stead
No one to help her cope
As she makes the final cut
The blood drips on the floor
Her eyes forever shut
As she journeys to Heaven's door


Details | Epic | |

Day Dream

A gun to my head about to pull, 
I start to wonder if my funeral will be full,
Clap! Clap! No I am not dead,
That is just something falling off the bed.
I can hear the ringing of a bell,
Not even dead as yet, but it is time to go to hell.

I start to wonder a lot of crop,
Hell is far I think I am going to need a map.
I might have to pay a toll, 
Don't know really that was what i was told.
It happen now there is a hole in my brain,
Surprised! Because I didn't feel a second of pain.
This gun for a moment didn't even stick, 
I have to say it was so quick.

I will be missed,
But of course I knew why I did this,
Now all of this pain will go away,
It's over now not another day.
Also I guess doing this thing just amazed me,
Killing myself was crazy. Maybe!

What the hell it's time to wake up!
Now I think I want to live,
Won't forget but at least forgive.


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

A Dark Fairy-tale

A Dark Fairytale

As I was chained, I breathe in.
As I was burned, I breathe out.
As I was cut, I looked down.
As I was broken, I looked up.
As I was destroyed, I closed away.
I had killed myself damaging beyond any repair.
To keep myself closed I chain, cut, burned, and destroyed what was within me, isolation my fear around me. But suddenly as I had nearly been kindled to a shivering light, something braver and stronger then I appeared and took me and held me and once again I was fixed and this is what happened; 
Suddenly I breathed in as I was unchained.
Suddenly I breathed out as my burns disappeared.
Suddenly I looked up as my broken body mended.
Suddenly I looked down as my cuts faded.
Suddenly I was opened up and my destruction was nothing more then a dream
As my knight, you entered that shadow and held me now I grow with a unprofaned radiance.
I was held once more, and my soul emerged.
I was spoken to once more, and my mind went blank.
I was kissed and my body reacted without a second hesitation.
And before I could run away once more, I was trapped.
Unlike my prison I lived in a fairytale, in were I don’t want to live this place anytime soon. What happened then and what happening now are so fair apart it hilarious.
 I’ve forgiven the past, not forgotten it. Prove never to make the same mistakes or else be locked back inside that tower I call my mind. 
Let me in brave knight, into your mysterious ways.
Let me in brave knight let me have secret passages into that world of yours. 
Let me in brave knight so I can truly capture you. 
I was as cold as ice even more then winters hail, but you with a ridged past that icier then I could have imagined is as warm as the summer sun and sweet like spring air.
For saving me, for taking my heart, for releasing me, I’ll become everything you want and then more, I’ll stand by your side and hold you like you held me and I shall be everything you need.
My sweet Knight.







Details | Rhyme | |

BUMBLE BEE

I spied a bumble bee
Flying confident and keen
She desired for all to see
She fancied herself the queen
 
This bumble bee was free
To fly where she pleased
She set her sights on me
Her sting knocked me to my knees
 
The bumble bee had done
Exactly what she desired
So sure that she had won
Until the moment she expired
 
So be careful where you fly
Evaluate your intent
It's not a win if you die
Hear this bee's dying lament


Contest: Impress me with a small poem II (Winner.. 2nd place)
MOTIF: Philosophical
Sponsor: Giorgio A. V.


Details | Verse | |

Home of the Slaves

Land of the free
Home of the slaves
The blood, sweat and tears of my ancestors resonate
Amongst the soil where they were slain
I’m hearing their struggle
I’m feeling their pain
I can’t imagine being forced to part from my family
All for massa’s gain
So I pay homage to those who promoted change

People like every slave who tried to escape
Nat Turner, Ms Carlotta, Harriet Tubman
And the safe houses who were in accord
And peg leg Joe with his song
Follow the drinking gourd.

People like, the disregarded - those thrown overboard
And who was dismissed and defamed
The ones who were stripped of their soul, their pride, their names

The list could go on  
The full will never be told
So I pay homage to others who were bold
Like John Brown, The Freedom Riders, Sojourner Truth
Ida B Wells, Phyllis Wheatley, Maya Angelou, 
Langston Hughes and Charles Drew

George Washington Carver, Ruby Bridges
Booker T Washington and Mary McCleod Bethune
Charles Houston, Ralph Bunche, Fredrick Douglass
WEB Dubois, Paul Robeson, Ralph Abernathy
Benjamin Banneker, Marcus Garvey and Crispus Attucks
Who’s death by the way
Symbolized the American lie
You cant declare the rights of all men
While the people of African decent rights get denied
But still we rise

Thanks to Dr Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, 
The Black Panthers, the Buffalo Soldiers and Tuskegee Airmen
None who were showed any love
Yeah it’s an uphill battle, 
But obviously greatness can be done.

We can rise above this stigma 
That blacks are lazy and daunting
That our worth is null and void 
And in essence minus nothing
And of all the names mentioned 
And the greatness of their successes
No one has been able to erase the evil transgressions of a racist mind
And once you have experienced just a taste of it
It changes your perception of time
The oppression beats like the drum on the chariot
Of when it was finally time to escape to freedom
It's mine


Details | Rhyme | |

Black and White

You’ve maddened me to the core 
You singed me with your ferocious fire
We’re opposites… we’ll never integrate  
We can’t blend with each other…
Your love and I’m hate 
We’re contrary to each other…

So don’t even think about 
Getting us back together 
Because without a doubt, 
We don’t click with each other…

So let us go our own way…

Everything’s black and white
You love to torture me with your deceptive devices 
We’re playing this chess match – let’s fight!
Tonight, you’re going to pay the prices
You’re going to be deleted from my mind…

I’m not the one that should pay the price
You act as if you’re an angel from heaven
But, you’re a fiend…a devil from hell...who needs your advice?
Could someone unchain me from this prison?

So let us prepare for that day…

Fear and bewilderment build inside of our minds
Taking over us…we’re wasting valuable time
Terror and wrath injects into our veins…time starts to unwind 
I’m regaining my glory…this moment feels so sublime  

You think you’re innocent?
I can sense your guilt…bleeding through you
Do you live to feed me anguish? 
Don’t deny it…you crafty demon…no wonder I feel blue

Let’s get ready for battle…
I’ll watch you decay…
IT’S PAY BACK TIME . . .
Taste my fury and my agony 

Everything’s black and white
You love to torture me with your deceptive devices 
We’re playing this chess match – let’s fight!
Tonight, you’re going to pay the prices
You’re going to be defeated…

I scream before nightfall
I close my eyes to kiss my demise
I want to disappear 
Scratch away my desolation
Wipe away my tears…
Spewing out of my eyes…like a waterfall
Tonight, there will be dismay
There will be suffering 
After sundown…
Failure and glory will expose like stars in the midnight sky
Who will earn the crown? 
No one knows in silent wars – who can reveal the light in goodbye
  
Why are we black and white?
Are you too afraid to know the reason why? 

Everything’s black and white
You love to torture me with your deceptive devices 
We’re playing this chess match – let’s fight!
Tonight, you’re going to pay the prices
You’re going to suffer alone…


Details | I do not know? | |

Dear little sister from another mister

You’ve been thrown left and right,
Crying to yourself every night,
Thinking all has gone wrong,
& you won’t be giving up after long..
You’ve been heartbroken 
One
Two many times:
From old boyfriends,
To lies;
Father walked out,
Baby killed by mistake;
Your mom has disowned you,
But she still shows you lust…
Everybody knows the truth,
The pain that you do not choose;
They see what you show,
But see me…
I, T’Keyah Wilder,
I already know…
You’ve raped and thrown from left to right;
Crying to yourself every night;
Everybody saying they understand,
But you know you’re the only
One who knows your pain ;
On this land…
It’s a matter of time, 
Before you kill yourself,
Stressing yourself,
Hurting you and everyone else;
Blaming yourself for,
Mistakes not purposely made;
Crying every time you feel like you just got 
Laid,
You want the true love,
Love shown from the heart;
Honestly,
Coming from your big sister; 
I think you need a fresh start,
Easing your pain with nicotine;
I’m surprised you’re not 
Sippin lean…
I know it may be hard,
To forget about the past,
But there’s one thing;
I must ask from you and I 
Want this to last;
Promise me, you’ll try your best
To stress less,
& pray more…
Listen to God;
Put him above…
All;
We’re not close like we used to be,
But you know I’m just a phone call,
Away…
Not far from you..
But I wish you’d  realize,
This too…
Stressing is not working,
Cause death, the devil, lies,
& fear are lurking..
Promise me;
You’ll try to be the best you can be…
Dear Little Sister from another Mister!
<3 RiP auntie bby ; djF .


Details | Free verse | |

The Humans and I

Ones who wage,
Ones who rage,
Ones who take,
Ones who pay,
Ones who craze,
Ones who rave,
Ones who crave…

Ones who fear,
Ones who breathe,
Ones who give,
Ones who need,
Ones who will,
Ones who weave…

Ones who plead,
Ones who beg,
Ones who beseech,
Ones who entreat,
Ones who appeal,
Ones who volunteer,
Ones who disappear…

The ones who follow,
The ones that don’t know about tomorrow,
The ones who don’t deserve the morrow…

The ones who sleep,
The ones who cry,
The ones who live,
The ones who die…

The ones who proclaim,
Those who say they create,
The ones who ache,
The ones who don’t wait,
The ones who hesitate,
The ones who don’t concentrate,
The ones who fornicate,
The ones who procrastinate…

Those who fall in temptation,
Those who get in frustration,
Those who sometimes feel desperation,
Those who keep going without caution,
Those in motion,
Those in tension,
Those losing notion,
Those being poisoned,
Those getting in distortion,
Those following the broken diction,
Those dying like the billions,
Those without unction,
Those washed in the oceans…

I might seem cold,
But it is you who is bold.
I might not express,
But it is you who doesn’t let me progress.
I might not seem like I seek,
But it is you who doesn’t know me…
I might seem like I need,
But it is you who might always be begging on your knees.
I might seem dull,
But it is the one that is fool.
I might not be alight,
But it is you who isn’t truly alive…

I will remain neutral,
I will remain silver,
I will remain gray,
I feel darkness,
I feel light,
I will remain hallowed…,
After all, it is you who deserves no life…

I am a metal hawk,
I am a mountain goat,
I am a silver bird,
I am a gray wolf,
I am a white tiger,
I am a mystic rose…,
I am I…

I’m alive,
And I survive,
You are here,
However, it is you who deserves no life…

Being human does not imply that you have humanity…


Details | Narrative | |

A Soul Awakened

The warm light calls me
And all the people who cries for thee
I raise my hand in this abyss
Only to make one wish
To float among the others
With all my sisters and brothers
I call out for forgiveness with passion
I take their pain into myself for this occasion
The moment that I see the sky
I will not look back and cry
My body is laying still
People standing by it with a chill
The air gets dense with sadness
I would not think of it less
Some people look up and down
To see the light hit the ground
Some can vision the uplifting feeling they see
One soul that has been and always be
It is special to notice such aberration 
And that might be how souls are awaken


Details | Free verse | |

Winter Season of Life

The brevity of the night aches My pain is cold and empty Long are the nights alone with suffering Before me is a path only I can travel I lift my arms to you oh God in praise As a small child you have always carried me Through fires engulfed in your powerful love As a visible extension of my Fathers grace Death is a destiny that no one likes to speak of Pain has a way of forcing a spirit down to its lowest ebb It garbles the mind torturing the soul of the one who bears it There is pain in life as well as joy, love and happiness Death renders sorrow of loss; during the winter of life Birth is your spring youth becomes your summer Autumn is your adulthood into the cycles of life These seasons keep the earth majestically growing Make every season devoted to helping others grow In the perpetual legacy of heritage we leave behind A map of do’s and don’ts to bring success to our heirs That will carry on long after we are gone The sting of death resides with the survivors left behind Grieving is part of life’s heartbeat, although it is bitter The appointment is unavoidable and a necessary event For the rebirth of all things to come Remember… Loved ones live on through Our memories Carole Cookie Arnold March 2011


Details | Lyric | |

Lacerated Wings

They are bound to the Earth like trees
Suffocating under the weight of an icy grave 
Reaching to be free, but only their limbs are seen
Hoping that one day someone will see:
They can't escape with lacerated wings

The ocean surrounds me, covering everything
Nothing will be clearly seen; confusion overwhelming
No-one can save you, you're on your own, left to die
Manipulating every bleeding heart you can find
I can't escape with lacerated wings.

Swarms of nets, waves of screams 
Entangle: your captive illusions and dreams
The mask has be seared - The truth now they see
The Liar - Vampiric Fiend; lowly thief
And now they know you can't escape with Lacerated Wings

There's reasons for your rejections:
Your Heavy heart's transferred oppression
The scars are too deep to pass the trials
But you can find peace in your cage of empty spirals
You Cannot Escape With Lacerated Wings


Details | Free verse | |

Last Kiss

Open your eyes to the ever turning skies 
I want to here with me through the night 
My heart yearns into your soul 
Burning as if newly lit coal 
I bravely submerg the embers 
That the time I have can be spent with you 
And I remember each kiss every moment 
I was caught in your love that for just this day I remember 
So what happened was a chance for your love 
A time that I kept in a locket tied with a kiss 
 I wanted you to feel, to love, to slumber 
And to awake in my arms with that times kept bliss 
I lay silient in an umber


Details | Pastoral | |

I pray for mother

   I pray for mother 
 
	Mother!	
You could have stayed
Forever was my longing
Oh mother!
Does it really have to be you?
Mothers are too special to lose

You gave me life mother
You raised me into a man I am today
I will forever be grateful to you
Out of nothing, you gave me food
Out of nothing, you clothed me
Out of nothing, you sent me to school
Oh mother!
You were the best


In your shadow I had shade
You called me Father.
For I carried grandfather’s name
Now I understand how special I was to you
You felt grandfather in me
Who will ever call me that again?
I forbid my thoughts to go deep
For the deeper it goes, the deeper it hurts

I can still hear your voice mother
I can still see you in my dreams
You left without saying good-bye,
Were you mad at me mother?
Deep in my heart, you will always have a home
My sisters and brothers are heartbroken
They are all grown up 
But they still need you Mother

Do you still remember your grandchildren?
The youngest is not yet a year old
She will never see your beautiful smile mother
You could have waited
So she does something for you
Fetch water or call you grandmother	

We all miss you mother
It’s hard to know you are never coming back
One after another
We will join you mother
We are not afraid of death any more
For we have a place with you
God almighty will meet us someday
Then I will see you for myself again
We will talk and laugh
Just like we used too

Now you live in a far away land
We can’t change that, not even God almighty
I will teach my heart to live without you mother
Though it is hard
I will learn to miss you
I will learn to live without you
But I will never forget you
It’s the body I will never see


Your time is gone Mother
Now you live in a new world
There you will never grow old
There you will never die
I have peace in my heart
For I am reconciled by God’s mercy
My father in heaven comforted me
Now I know you are happy there
The pain I felt
The pain that tortured me
Will never torment me again
You departed with all my tears
With all my strength
With all my hope
And with all my faith
But God gave me a thousand reasons to smile
In am now back on track

Rest in peace dear mother,
It was the will of God
Who am I to question him?
I never did when you were given to me
And somehow I knew this day will come
Let his name be exalted
We meet again Mother
This I know.


Details | Ode | |

The Other Side of Paradise

I am sure we will meet again,
on the other side of Paradise.
Your face is as calm as ever,
like a serene place where the waves meet the ocean.

Somewhere between now and eternity,
I am sure we will meet again.
Your smile is as sweet as I can remember,
and your tears form dewdrops on my soul.

Yes, I miss you with all of my heart,
and when you went away I felt robbed.
Yet, I am certain we will meet again,
on the other side of Paradise.

A Collage Held Dear contest, sponsored by Craig Cornish; 10/25/13  


Details | I do not know? | |

The Struggle

Living with depression

Surrounded by this invisible box, I live my life.
I feel no joy, no warmth of companionship.
Though I am surrounded by the ones I love they cannot reach me.
My mind is in an unstoppable strain to keep my appearance.

They sense something is wrong but can do little to help.
I am out of touch with reality and do not care.
What is there to do when I have no feelings,
when my world is contained by seclusion loneliness?

I strive to defeat the invisible opponent, 
I cry when alone from the lack of contact.
I am stuck in a void where you see no end,
I want seclusion but I hate to be alone.

I have to find a way out before I am defeated indefinitely.
Who do I turn to, who has the power to give me life?
If I choose death I will find peace and the pain will end.
If I choose death the pain will just begin. 


Details | Free verse | |

over and over agin

sometimes i talk to myself, 
my mind is racing,
i dont know what to do...
so hard to explain.
depression isn't a stage
or a faze some kids go through
it shatters you...
i saw it all. 
she cried silent in her bed,
blood stains covered her favorite jeans,
her every shirt,
long sleeve ofcourse...
she suffered through it all with few people to call friend
and more to call enemy
even more to say where quite dissappointed....
FAT
her first name in school,
not started by a bully
or a mean rival,
but by her sister, 
and it echoed through her soul,
repeating in her mind... over and over again,
like the ripples of still water
when a pebble is dropped
flash frozen in time
repeating,
over and over again...
It was the first name they gave her,
millions where created over the years,
some unique
some repeating again, just as the first had..
gothic they called her,
emo, fat, ugly....worse things.
but in her mind, things where worse.
everything was repeating,
over and over again,
finally she believed it. 
she asked for help, from everyone
tried to explain to parents she wasnt well,
got called a psycho for asking to see a theripist,
not from a teacher,
not from a class mate,
but from her own father, who wouldn't, couldn't,
believe there could possibly be a thing wrong....
finally, crying, she confessed her bloody secret to a teacher.
rather then giving her time,
she is sent back to class crying her eyes out, as if she wherent going through enough...
she is sent to the principals office a few minutes later, after breaking down in class...
the princlipal says she needs help,
sends her and her dad for a risk evaluation,
her dads crying as she shows him her cuts...
they walk into a hospital room, 
it smells of chemicals and hand sanitizer,
the lady at the desk gives her a smile.
then she goes into a room with a lady,
her cheeks are sunken in and shes wearing way too much makeup,
the girl is gaging on her perfume,
and she looks really intimidating....
her dark brown hair looks dead and flat
even though its a bit wavy, 
and she wears somewhat of a mocking frown.
asks her all these questions,
is mommy beating her?
no
is daddy raping her?
no
is she doing drugs?
not alot
is anyone beating her?
pass...
did anyone molest her? 
pass....
oxcarbezapine, trazadone, citalipran, clinazapam, colonipan,
valium, lithium, more.......
and thats what they gave her,
more... 
some numbed the pain
some brought it out
tearing through her organs,
she became an addict by the time she was fourteen....
over dose after over dose
some for pleasure
some for pain,
gashes on her legs getting deeper,
this time she didnt tell a soul,
not even those she had come to call friends....
wakeup she screamed in her head over and over again
as she dropped weight like it was nothing....
you cant controll it she argued as things became worse. 
at age fourteen she attempted suicide,
she didnt quite succeed.
the medication took away her aappitite....
she liked it
she hated her body
hated herself
felt out of controll
found a new way to cope
as she shoved tooth brush after toothbrush down her throat
to keep her body from nuitrients...
as she whent weeks and weeks spitting food into napkins and making excuses 
I ate at my friends house....
spoken as a whisper
heard like a sentance
echoing in her mind over and over again,
along with that word, all the words,
FAT!!!!!!
ugy, anoying, stupid, fake, worthless, nothing...
one bite she would say
rocking back and forth
craving nothing but food
her body racked with hunger pain
one bite and there she was again
FAT!
over and over and over again
back to a toothbrush
this time she sees blood
she saw her ribs
she saw her bones,
it wasnt good enough,
she almost died, again....
choking on this deep dissappointment in herself,
gaging on everything they where pushing down her throat, 
their words, and their insults, their criticism.... their drugs
all shoved down her throat like candy
and just as she was was trained to do she swallowed despite the bad taste
or the hurt
or the fact that at the rate she was going she would be dead soon...
and you know why? 
because daddy yelled 
and couldnt accept what was happening
not because he wanted to hurt her
but because it hurt him,
and she let him believe,
because she could take the hurt if it meant he didnt have too.
because mommy didnt want to sit in her room all day
smoking weed
doing nothing,
practically having us raise ourselves,
she didnt mean to take anger, or frustration or hurt out on her daughter
she suffered everyday in her solitary confinement,
and from a young age she accepted her bedroom was the cage
 her mother had created for herself.
because sister didnt want to effect her the way she did
she was just frustrated
fed up with the way things where
scared, she needed someone to take her cruelty
and to help heal her pain...
because people in school
who where so cruel
had to have learned from somewhere
and she wasnt going to play into their games,
and they knew she was an easy target
because she would never attack someone so weak
and she accepted her suffering was a sacrafice
to help all these people....
to help her dad,
her mom,
her sister,
every person who was beaten abused or hurt
 and felt so weak at home they wanted to feel strong in the one safe place they had.
because depite the fact she had died inside,
and almost passed away on the out,
it was a saccrafice she was willing to make
so that no one else would have to feel that kind of pain,
and they all inflicted it and broke her down'untill there was nothing left but a shell
of somthing that could have been
and never had the chance
and why? 
because she would take it and wouldnt strike back,
because sometimes "just taking it"
isnt so much about the weakness not to do anything
but about the strangth not to hurt others the way they hurt you...


Details | Free verse | |

THE LAST STAND

THE LAST STAND

Where have all my people gone, the Navaho, Lakota, and the Sue.
Smothered beneath the white man blanket,
Chocking for a breath of airs life's sustaining oxygen.
The beating heart of native drums, are stilled frozen,
In the middle of it's rhythmic thumping, no pulses echo,
Can be heard on the open plain.
The weeping women kneel on sacred ground, shedding
A river of bloods tears, burning a permanent scare across,
A baron landscape.
Death's black raven shields itself, under it's crimson soaked wing,
Against shames immoral injustice. 
Greed's unsatisfiable hunger for land and riches fuels lusts desire,
Behold exterminations nay holocaust of the native inhabitance,
  Nothing remains alive except ignorance blackened shadow.
How much blood can mother earth be forced to drink before,
She drowns herself or spits up everything undigested,
 With sheer disdain and hatreds malice intent.
On a black and white chess board the winners takes it all,
Strategies grand masters playing with living pawns.
Treaties written in vanishing ink, promises disappear in thin air,
 Revealing a liars sharpened tongue.
The odds have always been stacked against those believing in fairness.
A rogue tidal wave of humanity has wiped out a nation,
And it's culture within the blink of an eye.
Flights appendages are clipped on the dove of peace, leaving it
Unable to soar above it's own habitat.
Wreckage’s refugees stumble in the ruins after math,
Rapes victims of civilizations civilized,
Are left devoid of their heritages lineage and legacy.
Elders chieftains representatives of a great nation,
Smoke peace pipes in the white mans hunting lodge
In Washington.
As human beings are hauled like cattle's cargo,
Taken to reservations burial grounds. 
Ancient ancestors lit up the heaven's vast expanse,
 By torches flame,
To guide the souls of the dead unto their great spiritual
 Plain beyond.
The pale horse gallops forward without a rider,
And the red people become a phantom tribe vanishing
 Upon the winds shifting tides.
Giving one last final trible battle war cry, 
Why my father but the great spirit answers not.
Behold America's legacy, a world trampled beneath
It's heavy iron fist, all in the name of progress or for the cause
Of Manifest destiny.

BY: CHERYL ANNA DUNN


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Dig

Broken,beaten,blind and lost
All but a spark of hope left to keep warm
But dig and claw on bruised muscles, on broken limbs
Until the light day fills your sight
Left blinded no more
Dig
Until the soft fresh air blows the spark to a flame and ignites your will
Dig
Until the ground beneath is solid enough to stand
Walk,until the pain is mastered and stumbling ceases.
And you can say:
This will not be my grave.


Details | Ballad | |

the last good-bye

Disregard September’s lasting day, its simplicity long foretold, 
As the sound of summer has past us by, into the crisp and radiant fall;
Come hold this mirror to a ray of light, and pass the moment on,     
When in the hint of a calming breeze, is held the lost good-bye

Forever leaves of a brighter shade have fallen from there boughs,
While overhead October waits to softly steal by; 
For opportunities are gone to soon, and change as mornings past 
Like the worth of days, trapped in that sweet good-bye 

Man senses November and its desolate hours in a fog of its own regret,
When the sun could not cool the night, nor the moon give warmth to day;
We are caught in the measure of simple words, tied to hope and wonder
That speaks of a last good-bye

Wrapped tight in the cold of December, bound to the rhythm of life,
Gone to solitudes isolation and the sadness of that forgotten farewell,
Sacrificed to the wind that winter holds, bound to a memory past
Intent to hear of our last good-bye


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

A Note From The Lost

No one knows the pain,
Behind those forced smiles.
The tears that have fallen,
Along so many miles.

The broken hearts and wounded souls,
So well hidden from the world outside.
The fears and torments so long held,
Where only they can see inside.
 
Then one day we find a note:
"I'm so sorry I must leave.
I'm sorry for the pain I've caused.
And now for making you grieve."

"I could take the pain no longer.
The sorrow overwhelmed me so.
I felt like I was drowning on dry land.
And so I have to go."

"I hope one day you can forgive me,
And maybe understand.
Why I had to leave this way,
To end it all by my own hand."

"May God forgive my sin,
And welcome me to my home so true.
Where I can be born again,
And see through eyes fresh and new."

"Then maybe things will be better,
My troubles shall be few.
And I will feel whole again,
So shiny, bright and new."

"Goodbye for now my loved ones,
Do not grieve too long for me.
For now I can be what I never was,
Happy, hopeful and truly free."


Details | Shape | |

Lost

into darkness 
this life descends 
mired at death's door 
as its light steadily dims
these aweary bleached bones 
doth mourn once youthful days
when innocence pure o'er this soul
in blissful ignorance happily reigned
before time's ephemeral passing breath   
enshrouded this woebegone heart's moody
mangled reprobate impenitent suasible flesh
with ne'er a humble outcry nor ire forbearance
this lingering bemired e'er obstinate human clay 
whence forth engenders hope's demise since afore 
existence's perfect birth beyond its motherly womb   
till sufferings' midlife malefic spirits furtively abort 
its righteous life-giving journey heavenward bound 
an inward promise greedily denied by passion's fire
mere dust in blackness of darkness wholly effaced
from paradise lost to limbo's nonexistent embrace
this inflexible cursed soul henceforth forgotten
a preemie spirit resident to fields of silence

© Eugene Harvey


Details | Rhyme | |

Call Into The Night

Sometimes death it calls to me, like a welcomed beckon in the night.
A way to end all the miserery, a way to escape this stress and freight.
But of this call I do not answer, I can not meet death at its door.
The pain it would bring to all those I love, this is a pain I can not give,
This is a promise that I swore!


Details | Narrative | |

In memory of Bob

In memory of Bob
A true story.

It was in spring of two thousand when I first saw Bob. I’d just started working at Perth Dental hospital, and in fact it was my first day there. I walked up to the front door of this building, but it wasn’t yet opened. So I turned around and went to sit in the bus shelter which was just outside the building. As I went to sit down I noted a dark skinned gentleman sitting there with a happy, benign look on his face. He was about five feet eight give or take a little, and he was rather a thickset man who looked like he’d done his fair share of hard work in his sixty years or more.

     There was something about this Gentleman that I could not quite put my finger on. He had a certain charisma about him; not the phony kind of charisma that one seen in the car salesman or the philanderer who messes with women’s heads, no, Bob had a kind of friendly smile for everyone that he met, and he seemed to draw people into him with his love, and gigantic heart. I knew as soon as I met him that Bob was most definitely for me.

      As Bob looked at me and smiled, the whole world seemed to open up. He said “Ow ya  going mate” in a loud ebullient manner, then we started to chat. Bob was like myself, a thinker, and straight away we started philosophizing about this, that, and the other, and it was like we had known each other forever. Then all of a sudden I found Bob talking about death, and the difference in the way the Maori people faced death, compared to the rather the silly way us white folk look at the subject with great fear in our hearts. Now this had always interested me, and  somehow it just seemed natural to talk to this Maori gentlemen on this subject, and we spoke about it till the doors opened and it was time to work.

      I don’t think anything happens just by chance, and I definitely have this feeling that Bob and I were meant to meet, and I really think this was a major destiny thing. I have found during the course of my life,  that as I am aging, I can feel something pushing me into a certain direction, and I always felt that Bob was part of all this; and I had much to learn from him. Although I have never believed in organized religion, and never followed one I have always felt deeply spiritual, and I have met many people who I learned from, and Bob was most definitely one of them with all his great wisdom and patience. As I came to know Bob, we had many dialogues together, on many subjects. Bob used to love music and could always have time to plonk away on his guitar. He used to come round to my place and we would play songs together, though both he and I were no Eric Clapton’s, I would bang around on my guitar and play the harp, while we would both take out turns at singing. We’d have a smoke or a beer or two, and we’d play songs all day long,  ahhh, I remember those days well, the memories are so strong.

     Bob was one hell of a man, I could tell that he had been a wild one in his youth,
But when I knew him in his sixties he was an icon of wisdom and virtue; he had a kind word for everyone, and gave all his time to anybody who needed him, always.
He used to hear me waffling on like an idiot, trying to make him like me [as I always did] but never once did he tell me how foolish I was, he would just smile knowingly at me. He used to stand there at the window for hours, just drinking in the trees, or the clouds in the sky, and yet he was so aware, I used to try to sneak up on him; it couldn’t be done. His awareness was incredible.

     Then one day Bob fell ill with terminal cancer, and he knew that he had very little time left on this Earth. He lay there sick for days in intolerable pain,  but you never heard one complaint from him, even when he only had days to live, he was still worrying about the welfare of others. When the day finally come for Bob to leave his shell; he was lying there in deep sleep, when all of a sudden he woke up, with a smile on his face. His children asked him ‘Dad, do you want some pain killers” Bob laughed, compassion written all over his face, and he said to them ‘Not one of you has a clue, have you’ and he died with a big smile on his face.

   His daughter got in touch with me, and told me about his death, and also told me that his last wish was to have me watch his soul leave his body. I felt very honored about this and went and sat with his body [as Maoris do]. I got the most peaceful feeling come to me [which I presume was his spirit leaving his body] as I watched his silent body, a Mari war stick and a beautiful rose lay across his chest. I still see it, and I feel blessed by it. He was my Maori warrior, and I adored the man.
 


Details | Rhyme | |

Death Comes Swiftly

Look into these eyes, these eyes show no mercy
Like flesh ripping off my skin, I scream
I shout the names of those I do not know
Like darkness I shall spread through your dreams
For they will become nightmares
Of which there is no return…
How you will cry, but no tears will fall
For you have sinned, and shall be burnt
Like a thousand suns you shall feel my wrath
Blood dripping from your eyes, ears and nose
The wall thickens with every breath you take
The truth I now expose
You have smiled at death… looked into its eyes
Seen the fury within the depths of his soul!
To bring you pain and much suffering
Is his aim, his only goal!
The fear from which he feeds
Is buried deep inside your mind
Laying dormant, hidden from plain sight
But eventually it will find you!
Haunt you, and bury you alive
Rip the jaws apart, gouge your eyes
Peel your skin off, until you’ve bled plenty
Only leading to your demise
For the pain doesn’t end there
It’s only about to start….
The executioner waits down below…
Ready to tear you apart

When you scream, the angels will but only laugh
For you did not listen well
You mocked them, ignored them
Now in hell’s kitchen you dwell
Into a pit of which there is no return
No escape only much suffering to come
This world varies in torture
Of which none can be ran from!
You will bleed endlessly…
Suffer like never before….
Praying to God to take you out
But he listens no more!
The path you chose has lead you to fall
And now your consequences you must face
Now endless misery and regret
For denying God’s wondrous Grace!!!

Eliel202
Belize (Country)


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

What Happened

As you ended our video call,
You suited up,
Helmet,
Armor,
Gun.
Just another day in that god forsaken place,
As soon as you stepped off the plane it felt like being in an oven.
But hey,
What did you expect.
The boys and you all load up into the Humvee and take off with the rest of the Caravan.
Just another day.
Just another day…
There wasn’t supposed to be an explosion.
There weren’t supposed to be screams.
There wasn’t supposed to be any blood shed.
It was supposed to be just another day.
But all of that did happen.
And you were taken away from me and Mom and Dad and our little sister,
In an instant.
You were supposed to come home.
We were supposed to celebrate your birthday together,
Our sister baked you a cake for when you came home.
But… now you can’t,
And you won’t,
Ever again.
Because you’re gone.
And you can’t ever come back.
But know that we love you,
Know that I love you,
Know that I loved you, My Brother.
Most Importantly know that we miss you,
every waking moment.
Because you’re gone,
And we’ll never see you again.
Did I tell you Mom and Dad still pay your phone bill?
They pay,
So that we can hear your voice on your voicemail recording when we miss you.
I call,
Everynight.


Details | Concrete | |

Trip Twist

In the void, sipping the zoid,
with mental properties of tripping on the spiral.
Falling down the tail of lions, awkwardly spinning.
With upside down tunnel vision leaking through.

Solidifying all matter that matters,
melting into the walls of your brain.
It tickles all the raindrops dripping in your eyes,
satisfying your desire of a synchronized pattern.

Bleeding purple from the rainbow,
and turning into swirls of diamonds.
Slipping exuberantly beside you; driving you wild.
Where the shadows stop the spirited scream.

Devour yourself into the omniscient grip. 
Icy cold finger tips scratch the surface of your divinity,
bringing you closer to the God who whispered in your unborn ear,
situated in your flesh from birth to death.

It embeds itself in the pupil of your eye,
dancing with your spirit and licking your soul.
Black shapes of madness wrapped in chaos and euphoria.
Twinkling and blinking dust of a cloud. 

Haze filled skies and blood filled smoke raining from the clouds.
Envisions of clowns and demons laughing at our demise.
Chilling sensations of sickening mannerisms,
mechanisms and mechanics sought out to destroy the tiny creatures.

These creatures running crazy into acceptance of demise.
Deprived of life, scared of death but giving into it's taste.
Taste buds quiver as the taste grows sweeter.
Death, oh death, tell everyone who you really are...

Too long have you been hidden in the shadows you cast, 
too long have we rendered your pain.
The world grows sicker as the hairs in my head grey. 
I'll never surrender as demons always circle.

Today, begins a new day of our fight.
And I have a good feeling about this day. 
Onward, we have united our minds and gathered ourselves within. 
Always ready for we accept our fear. 

We accept our hate and everything in between.
Accept it all for what it really is. 
No amount of doubts will over throw us. 
Onward, to peace.


Details | Narrative | |

My Story Telling Can You Trust Me

Gun fire all around, bombs going off in the distance
It was some of the angry mobs and resistance
Father was the king of SafeHaven a small kingdom
Like all other kingdoms it fell in random
Fire started in the castle
And along with it came a battle

It was a distance memory now because the child has now grew
Many things in this child that made memories stew
My name is Mastrey, a young orphan who was there that night
Mastrey saw her in the distance and her father and mother in his sight
Everyone was loud that night and made all the children hide
But that evening Mastrey saw her mother and father die

She ran into the bushes in such a fright
And evil doers were running around with flashlights
Mastrey remember it as he distracted them 
Her eyes was so confused with problems
Mastrey new that it was because of what just occurred
His feelings of what those people did was not awkward

The distraction worked, he went back to were she was
Hiding and very scared she was, he asked her, can you trust me just because?
Her answer that night depended on her lively hood
As Mastrey was their with his hand reaching out to her as he stood
Pulling her up from the ground he looked into her eyes that were SeaBlue
Mastrey had made a life long friend and love, She knew it was true

Next: My Story Telling,  Who is this Princess


Details | Free verse | |

Conspiracy: Who Killed The Easter Bunny

A crowded table, all suspended in shock 
The sound of the shot dimming to a ‘knock’
Only silence, except for the marching clock
The weapon still smoking; an anonymous glock
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Loud cries arise from the elongated table,
Jack Frost is shocked, the Tooth Fairy unable
To speak whilst Santa is checking the stable
For clues on the erstwhile maidservant Mable
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

They searched for hours, called in C.S.I,
Panic set in, would the children all cry?
Sandman confirmed the bunny had died
Batman suspected somebody had lied
WHO KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY?

Guests were quizzed, interrogations began
The mystery unfolded when Santa Claus ran,
Grabbing the pies, he tried escaping in a van
But was stopped in his tracks by superman
SANTA KILLED THE EASTER BUNNY!


Details | Couplet | |

THE VERDICT

Copyright © 2013
07/17/2013

Skittles and a soda
against a gun in its holster?

One day that scream
will be known as a teen
not a heinous lying Fein

What a sinister ploy and twist
with a loaded gun and no fist?

Had everyone sitting and waiting
doomed by a verdict just delaying

Was this just an optical illusion
or, a devious planned conclusion?

Now, this generation too afraid
wearing hoodies will get you dead

But, the Klan was still glad
hoodies they've always had

A verdict they too saw,
ushering in martial law


by: LP
edited: 7/30/13


Details | Rhyme | |

Is it to late

Can we stop it?

It’s a crazy, hazy world
All filled with crazy people
The danger we are in
Its sky high, like a steeple
It’s reaching a crescendo
It’s touching air and ground
Earthquakes, hurricanes and floods
These be so often found
Is it too late to stop now?
Can we really turn it back?
Or is there mass destruction
A short way up the track?


Details | Couplet | |

Unknown

Who am I?
Am I defined by what is near in sight?
Am I defined by what I have done,
Or am I defined by what I could become?

Perhaps I'm of no use.
To him, or her, or I, nor you.
Or perhaps I'm too misunderstood to be defined,
And it is something like understanding that comes in time.

And if to the world I'm never shown,
Yet in my own light I've grown and grown,
And so I can know no happiness but my own--
The reason for my smile, to you, will forever be unknown.

I do not pray for the world to know my name.
For it and verse; the letters are the same.
And if a man should find his sorrow in what he reads,
I pray his pain my words to keep. 

Should his eyes rain on my page,
Better tears than storms of rage.
And if a man should find his sorrow in what he reads.
I pray his pain my words to keep.

And if to the world you're never shown,
Yet in your own light you've grown and grown,
And so you know no happiness but your own.
Let the reason for your smile, to you, only be known.


Details | Free verse | |

Tell Me Why

Why?
Why?
Why?

Tell me why?
Tell me why?
Tell me why?

Was it, because I was too nice,
I was too much of a gentleman,
or was just too much to handle?

Was it, because you were young?
Was it, because you couldn't find your heart,
in all that darkness?
Was it, because you just didn't feel the love?

Why?
Why me?
A man like me, deserves no pain,
no heartbreak.
So, why me?

I pray and ask the Gods,
why!
But an unresponsive god never speaks to me.
He sits there and watches... watching what?
Nothing, but a heart being torn to shreds.

Was it, because I was too careful?
Was it, because I loved too much?
Was it, because one half of the heart couldn't fit the whole?

I ask you, because I still love you.
Come to me, my beautiful,
stop this nonsense,
I cannot make you love me,
but I sure can try to show you love.

Do not blink,
do not take a gift sent down from the Gods
for granted.
Appriciate what you have,
appriciate me, because one day,
when you need a shoulder to cry one,
you will not be able to find me, anywhere.
I will be lost,
in a fool's dream of romance and love,
that will never come on my front doorstep.
Still dreaming of the possibilities of you and I.
My heart is with you always,
but I will soon expire,
so do not wait too long.

-10/5/2013


Details | Rhyme | |

Dialogue of Souls


Best of friends, for countless years,
we had the best of times.
Now as my eyes are filled with tears,
your soul to Heaven climbs.
The path we take, not always clear,
I feel so lost without you here.
Your last words, prophetic now,
“I’ll be home soon”- you knew somehow.
You left me here, I’m so alone,
but I dreamed Heaven had a phone.
We talked all night, you fell asleep,
I held the line to hear you breathe…  

 

   Copyright © 2013


Details | Rhyme | |

PAIN- The Destiny of Man

Pain, excruciating pain
Gripping spine, disabling 
Till vigor and strength drain
 Prayers you chant and Hymns sing

Hospital, Doctors, MRI’s and X-rays
Cash, Debit Cards, depleting bank account
Money vanishes, but pain stays
Nothing could misery surmount

 Calves stiff, nerves sore
Walking with stick, still in pain
Whoever said, whoever swore
“Pleasure and pain are links of a chain”

Sad poems, heart-wrenching news
Failed love, desertions, betrayals
Pain intrudes with or without excuse
No distinction in paupers and royals

Pain is the destiny of man
It is a heartache or pain in spine
Man's birth is through pain and death from pain
Gripping like fog the life's sunshine 

You wish and pray it goes
It cures, soothes nor heals
With time it grows and grows
Till death your life steals




Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The Rain and Wind

The wind blew events all over the place.
Intense emotions and it gave chase.
Lightning lighting to show us the sky.
People try to sleep and not cry.
Wisping by the wind keeps us awake.
The time trying to sleep the storms take.
Chills in everyone gives all shiver.
The clouds surrounded by moonlight is silver.
Heavenly prayers that the rain will stop.
The flood stopped a car the person in it was a cop.
People have seen such devastation.
The road that people made was week in creation.
Rivers near by was over flowing.
Trees that were there was not showing.
By the hour it claimed many.
My father woke up and did not see any.
Floating by was a boat.
Keeping people above water and a float.
My father kept a canoe.  
That some day we would use it, that he knew.
Time to paddle up and down the street.
The rain water kept getting on our seat.
It was so dark after the moon was behind the cloud.
Still the noise of thunder still covered the ears loud.
The smell of moist water never seem to go away.
My brothers seem to still sleep anyway.
My head was bobbing up and down.
I was so tired that I could not hear a sound.
The wind blew back and fourth.
It seems that my mom and dad paddle their worth.
Till all the people we saw with grace.
Help us out with embrace.
The time was so late at night.
Everyone was so sleepy and losing sight.
The fight with the weather was so hectic.
The feelings of energy was electric.
Losing to such natural disaster is hard to understand.
When people working hard to block the river with bags of sand.
With hard workers like my mom and dad.
They make things happen that is not bad.
Rough with weather they experience more than ever.
Leaders they are they are very clever.
From the night light of street lights to the morning glow.
The wind did not stop so.
Bringing in more clouds that ill.
The people who were still tired still had will.
The rush of water and waves blasting push the wall side.
Pushing and the force brought water inside.
The battle of our hour was getting long.
Backup people came to aid us was strong.
Rested they were to keep everyone with hope.
The people stopped the water with the strength of rope.
Heavy rain and loss of homes bring people together.
It is kind of sad that this was the only time to gather.
Chaos comes happiness how true.
This is why we are human that gives us a clue.
It is our nature to keep rain falling.
To know when it is time for our calling.
The winds bring such pain and sorrow.
That is why rain sometimes fallow.








Details | Rhyme | |

The Ghost I Knew

Can I catch you
Can you stay?
Forests at wood
There we play
A gentle hand 
That fixed the dress
Brushing tears back
Saving stress
I can not bare
The oaken wave
Only memories
Can I save
I miss your hair
And what it covered
More than a mind
God knows I loved her
The ghost I knew
She rests away
I can not catch you
You can not stay.


Details | I do not know? | |

Family Matters

In the attic, above wooden floor,
through the hallway of psychotic, locks upon my door,
near the broken window and glass of the sore,
hiding in the shadows,
bloodstains on the wall.

 Number nine,
house at the end of the street,
where lights are low,
where silent never sleep.


Details | Narrative | |

Physically and Mentally Abuse

I was born in a world of poverty and soiled life of a third world country
The way I lived till I was five years of age was walls of boundary
These walls had towers of guards that had no heart or care
If a child would try to climb the wall they lose their life I swear

Father had drank and threatened my mother with a knife
My father lost his job and wife and that was the hardship of life
He stopped my mother from taking off with me in her arm
Hoping that my father would ignore and left me be with no harm

When my father went off to drink one night and came home with rage
My brothers stood by my crib and took a beating that set up the next stage
My father had woken up to three scared children half starved and in pain
His final words as he walk away from the orphanage gate live life do not go insane

I was still a baby in the orphanage; the caretakers did not really care about the babies
They stole items and materials those wicked men and maternal evil ladies
They starved all the babies because it cost a lot to keep them alive
As a child of that age I could feel the sins and greed that gave out bad vibes

I was ignorant about what I drank and ate, as I see white maggots move in my bottle
As I see them move I thought about how they were playing and some were hostel
They ate each other to keep each other alive in a manner that took me by surprise
In the back round I hear others throwing things with sounds of painful cries

I got very strong at a young age I was able to start pulling myself up over the cage
My feelings were to see my brothers with strong lungs that I cried out of rage
My two brothers came to see me and sneak food into my crib
The caretaker would find the food in my hands as they grabbed it and hit me on my ribs

As painful as it was I kept eating the food with blood in my mouth as it was instinct
I sometimes laid in my crib dazed and confused with smell of death so distinct
With all my might I kept myself strong and climb the small wall
I finally was old enough to get out of the building and I could hear my brothers call

With tears of joy with short legs that ran as fast as my heart
I ran to my brothers arms and held their hands to have a new start
I grew stronger everyday but more things came into my life in a manner of dismay
If my brothers stay by my side I could smile and everyday their would be okay



Details | Rhyme | |

Stairway to Heaven

I stare upon December's moon,
and wonder why some leave so soon.
When news hits us like shattered glass...
Can we believe what's come to pass?
When we aren't meant to understand...
Then who are we to judge God's plan?
As he sifts through the sands of time...
Was this really by design?
Will we get from here to there,
and know it when we do?
Will we greet our flesh and blood,
and those we never knew?
Remember those that mean the most,
and hear their voices ring.
Then shut your eyes...and listen close,
and you'll hear an angel sing...
 
 
Copyright © 2007

 


Details | Free verse | |

Alone-Reverse

She was left alone
After the accident
In the darkness

And strangers cried..
Their secrets were whispered
As she listened
Through hollow walls

The memories came crashing
And invading her dreams
Haunting all tomorrows

Forever..



Reverse Poem Contest 8-12-2013


Details | Free verse | |

Whistle

Running, after more than you, can hold.
Taking, someone else’s love, and leaving.
Children are fearful of what they’re told.

Can’t you see I’m the one who’s freezing?
I was just a child with a trinket 
Never knowing that it’d be, more to me

When you were gone to, too far, from me.
Steady with your hands close to my heart
Never letting our world’s tear us apart

I know, your icicles 
I miss the beaches that we played on
You missed the child in your own eyes

Now you’re gone, 
But I’m still not here.
Why can’t you wake up 

I’m not ready
Please, just take your time, don’t leave now
I can’t fight this world alone.


Details | Musaddas | |

JESUS WITH MY FAITH I SEND THIS PLEA

written 14th July 2013


My sorrow, is overwhelming my 'entire' soul
 for in my jaded life, my dear "Nath" would be the last breath taken away
Why does God, continue taking those that play the most 'critical' roll
 my life is 'never' going to endure, any hint of ease.. no way

Heart heavy, loss and pain all consuming me 'again'
 God, I plea with you leave me those that I 'love' these day's
It's become 'that' part of the year, my Nathan was taken due to 'my' curse
 tears flood my entire being, why do you always insist I live entirely 'alone'

Sorrow just in this year now at 'half point' has finally taken the 'full' toll
 I no longer see, any thing as my destiny that I shall 'exude'
When, will it 'ever' be my turn, I wait..to become the next called to heaven
 "am" I not worthy, of your abundant grace?

You, seem to take 'everyone' I 'entrust' to a faraway land
 Nathan Reide' these are my tears containing, the 'most sorrow' I've ever let fall
But, every memory of you and me, stop all of the pain
 just, another pain and despair to add to my life's endurance 'till'

I long, for peace, joy and 'any' kind of life would do me,
 at this point of my life, I can not take anymore, seriously, lighten up on me!
I fear in new friends, how long..before you conclude they too will end
 You bless me with a loving husband, mother, father, niece
 
When.. do you think you might, 'let' me see them... this  is my plea
 returning me back into church, I am in need off being blessed
How 'come' you did take that away from me? 
 faith, in me stayed 'strong' you alone know the extent

I need to move 'now' I have stayed still, and achieved what I think I was to 
 poet, I assume that was 'my reason' why you kept here
With that now in full swing
 can you now spread my wings

You are 'overpowering' my soul, and I now do as I am told
  patience, never was my best strength, have I 'not' proved to you
I'm completely at your mercy, you are the entity that drives the heart of me
 with all that, I need a break between all these sorrowful times, 'may I now move'

This is the deepest of despair, I have ever endured, please see me through
 I am more than 'positive' I WILL NOT make it through, another emotional trial
Not to be left here, still bleeding the way I still am...
 darkness has taking more of my light I'm loosing all sight, of who is me...

My heart full of anguish and grief, depression takes her advantage, of the ease
 I have nothing worth finding joy or enlightenment anyway, she will have me...
I don't have any strength to even consider the thought of even trying this time
 in defending myself against her this time
She only win's by default...

Denise Hopkins


Details | Free verse | |

A Modern Confession for a Dying Beggar

Die and crave-
Make me not hear your story,
Though I like to see you gaze
By the end of the day.
Tremble when you see me
As though I were a chill
Perhaps I am the soft care-
Taker of your bones.
Should I remember traces
Engraved by your moans,
I shall endorse those bywords
Equating you with me
You think I have to treat you
Indeed, I loathe your mother
I’d rather you were unseen
So that I shed you no tear.
Your father stole my fresh air
And so do you from me now;
Unless you give up breathing
My true blood will be bother’d.
O, please, forgive my true words-
They planned to vex your ego
They gather’d all my reasons
To help you rest in peace.
But, though you shall be tasting
The acrid sweat of my ease,
At least, allow my goodness
To sweat for all old beggars.


Details | Carpe Diem | |

Lucid Dream

Look upon city once known by name,
ruins that I called home, streets swallowed by flame,
in time alive shell not witness less of what should you understand,
reach on to hand of a stranger, scroll remain;
in signs that might be changing welcome,
different of a man.

When dawn awakes and there is no light,
upon dusk of man darkness will be spread by sight,
in time not different change will arise, life we thought you knew,
death would recognize.

Hearts will bound to King without a Crown,
why do mothers shed tears, echo rooted in the ground,
is there reason of a foolish wars, contracts written in blood,
new born babies died breathless, can't even appreciate the Sun,
don't deserve to live, not worth of the land,
existence will be scattered in ashes,
you will be remembered
by name.


Details | Rhyme | |

THE VISITOR

DEATH, It’s something that I may never understand I ask myself why does this have to be apart of life’s plan One day you’re here then the next day your gone And to whomever has no relevance, It’s just the same old song As if nothing ever happened life goes on.. DEATH, When it has touched you ,The pain feels as though it may ever past As the days grow more you wonder how long will it last Memories seem to consume your every thought How much they meant and what joy to your life they may have brought If none at all, Regretfully or not you may only think of how much u fought. DEATH, Has touched me in away my life will never be the same It really doesn’t matter who the person is or their name That feeling of pain and sorrow one day we all will be able to relate My true understanding of it is rather good, bad, age, or race we all have a date No, We may never know the way, But no living thing has a escape Because when it comes to life, DEATH IS A SHARED FATE…


Details | Verse | |

Spirituals and Drums

My ancestors walking in the night
using oil lights and moonlight for guides
while being instructed to Wade in the Water
to camouflage their scents like disguise

The Sweet Chariot awaited 
so they could ride away
Harriet was a soldier
and it wasn't an option to be caught during the day
That's the same mentality Nat Turner had when he sang
Steal Away

They would follow the drinking gourd
so all were in accord to go north
The Gospel Train was coming
and at the end of the journey
was a fine reward
Freedom was coming
and it was a long time coming and
they walked until they heard freedom bells ringing
and I still hear their tired footsteps running

Thinking of My Darling Nelly Gray
Stolen from my arms a random September day
and eliminated our chances to run away together
No family ties, no love, no strength says the oppressor

Then I hear the drums beat in the darkness
giving me the hope of finally being free
Maybe I'll follow them this time on faith
on bended knee
There must be a place for me among the light
of this darkness
Among oppression, thieves, evil-doers
no thought on their conscience

Thank goodness for the safe houses that
supported our traveled distances
and for the conductors who bore witnesses
and may God have mercy on the souls who
were against this
and on those who chose to forget this sh@!

I still hear crying in quilts of safety 
because I know that the burden was heavy
to be at the mercy of nature and patrol men
catching run-away slaves for money
Some did it bare feet with freedom ahead of this
loved induced journey and they made it
So all that bull about how your life is hard
just stuff it in an envelope and save it



Details | Rhyme | |

Tomorrow's World

Darkness cursed the Earth and all there in
A blackness so dense concealing every piercing scream
Multitudes huddled in groups scattered on little fragments of land
As the Earth’s crust began to boil, under the feet of the damned
Burning flesh and sulphur filled the air
Causing the multitude to curse and swear

Some leap into the molten lava hoping they would die
Only to find they are alive as they sizzle and fry
Loved ones watch helpless waiting for their turn as they cry
As the earth’s crust gradually melts the people on the edge fall in
Grasping desperately at others to prevent the inevitable painful din 

Burning trees heavily laden with human fruits
Surrender and collapse for they no longer have roots
Animals feral with pain and hunger
Rip flesh in their last effort to survive from the weak and the younger
Their end is a beginning of a new world
Of the pain and suffering for the blood they have spilled
The smoke concealed by the darkness denying it to pollute the sky
As the darkness hides their screams not allowing them to die...


Details | Ballade | |

Great to be old

Great to be old

Old age don’t mean a thing at all
It’s great to be alive
Each new day it gives me joy
To know I still survive
My body might be filled with pain
But the sun still shines above
And the birds up in the trees 
Still sing their song of love.

I’m seventy one, and just a bit
And I don’t give a damn
I’m growing up, not growing old
Although I’m not a lamb
My heart is young, I sing my song
With so much melody
Each day that comes to touch my soul
I am so glad to be.

I don’t believe in death at all
So that don’t worry me
I’ll live until my shell does fade
And then my soul will be
Floating in the deep blue sky
Cause I’ve finished with this story
And then another one may start
May bring me grief, or glory.

21 May 2014 @ 0810hrs.


Details | Rhyme | |

Death by Beauty

A smile moves across her lips
She gazes at her crime
A scar across her flesh and soul
To haunt her for all time
She’ll waste away for all she cares
Never stops to use her brain
Doesn’t care about the ones who are close
All she cares about is pain

She wants to be what the others expect of her
Doesn’t care about the self-respect for her
A rose can’t be a forget-me-not
Can’t she see what all she has got
Already?

Never to go back again
She feels the world is at an end
She will never show her grief
Although she’ll cry in empty streetS

She’d sooner live like a desolate mole
Living in fear in an empty hole
Screaming silent wails alone
Content to live in her mental home

A final tear falls from her eye
It hits the ground, it’s followed by
A beautiful body, mutated by hate
A kind word could have stopped it, but it is too late
One two many bricks in the wall in her mind
Molding her demise because her heart was blind
This self conscious being could never have won
For she was destroyed by the beautiful ones

She wouldn’t fight back, wouldn’t respect herself
In the end, she managed only to wreck herself
A rose can’t be a forget-me-not
Little did she know, she had all she had sought
Already


Details | Free verse | |

Suicide Cheats Death

It was cold.

Death's fingers
Resting on my forehead.
The nail
Scraping, scraping,
Skin scorching
Of pain.

"You want darkness
Or heaven?"

He cackled, losing grip
On the nail
Bludgeoning
For blood.

"Time's a wasting."

The wind stopped blowing a long while ago.
Death composed himself;
Pulled the nail out
'Til the roused red
Spouted out

And the cold resurfaced.

"You ain't scared.
This suicide?"

"Death.
If only you knew,
How much I craved
For this to end."

The frostbite quivered.
Death removed
The deadly weapon
From the skin.

"I'm a murderer.
Not a liberator."

Death.
His charm tensed,
As his tongue rid
The blood stain from his white digit
Forcing exit as a bitter belch,
And a satiated grin
Carved on his
Phantom tint.

"I'll be back when you have a purpose
Eh?
Ain't no joy for me when there's joy for you."

And he will.
Yes, he will wait.
Patiently,
Waiting
To grace my blood
With his twitching nail,
Edging icily.
For it will only take
The whisper of a smile,
A soundless breeze,
To summon even the remnants
Of his presence.


Details | Free verse | |

Somber Tears

As the sun sets
and the twilight comes out,
as the birds and squrriels are no where in sight.

As the whores and pimps sit on street corners,
waiting for street lights to turn from green to red.
As cadillacs stop and roll their windows down.

I can her the faint cry deep in the darkness,
of dirty gutters and dark, dead end alleyways,
I hear the faint tears fall and hit concrete pavement.

I feel the faint cries of whores,
I hear the sound of backhand hitting face
and brused tissue and broken noses are everywhere.

And the somber tears fall onto pillow cases,
and white motel bedsheets run red with blood
and cheap Italian wine.

And you can her the poet over the radio,
reading his own work for the one millionth time
and you can hear his soul slowly wanting to die.

He drowns himself in smoke and alcohol
the whore takes her pay, or spends a night in a jail cell,
the pimp nowhere to be found,
with a shiny blade stuck deep in his gut.

And the somber tears fall gently on the concrete pavement,
the floors of a jail cell,
tears on the pillow case and tears on a lonesome stage.

Tears never present, but are seen by many,
pain aches and pain takes away,
and I pour one more drink for the whore.

She takes me away,
and I caught her salty, somber tear,
and she crawled into my warm embrace.

I was the one who stuck the blade in the gut of that pimp,
who broke her nose and made her bleed,
with a cowardess and souless backhand.

I walk into the moonlight,
hearing the somber tears all around me,
crash violently to the concrete pavement.

The Earth rumbles and erupts with these tears,
that are shead for fellow Men, and Women and Children,
but we all look at ourselves and smile.

Happy we don't pay rent,
happy we don't have cancer,
happy we aren't six feet under;

But we still all cry,
Why?
Somber tears all fall in one big wave

crashing violently on the concrete pavement.
Now the red light turns green,
and the traffic moves along,
the whore is still at her corner,
the pimp still with the blade in his gut.


Details | ABC | |

war

i wittnessed a war just yesterday,
being the reason for much dismay,
i'm sorry for all the death and blood,
and all the soldiers in the mud,
i wish i could stop it just can't be done,
i'll need everybody including a nun,
i'll need jesus to forgive our sins,
that knock us down like bowling pins,
i'll need everybody to read this poem,
in hopes that all the soldiers get back home.


Details | Rhyme | |

Back From The Dead

As I sew up my heart
It starts..
The crises of love scorned 
Its torn..
The scars on my slain wrists..
The bruises on my broken fist..
The burn of an unsuccessful rope around my neck..
I race with death only to lose by an inch..
The harder I train..
The more in vein..
The lonely pain that sleeps with fish
I wish
I wish..
The more I cry in kindness she will die
The depth of bloodless sighs
I feel closer to the sky
I guess that's the same
As every pain 
I'm no different but all the same..
The race against my finish line of cocaine
I will win the race and cross the tape 
That death holds for my place
....


Details | Ballad | |

Isolation

How can I tell you?
I can't stay with you.

Neither I can give up on you.
Fear of losing you is losing me.
It feels like slow death every night.

But we are just stuck in our spaces!
Unable to connect from two feet distance.


Details | Rhyme | |

Walking in Tears

You cry and scream nobody seems to care
Nobody would even dare
Should i just cry here?
Or die and end it with fear


Details | Blank verse | |

Losing Sight

Why was I given these eyes that hide 
Behind this clumsy heart-
Hands and knees forever searching 
For an honest soul?
It feels as though we're wringing water
From a dusty rag.
It feels as though we're submerged in longing 
Ever drowning in our thirst.

Why was I given these eyes that grope
For another’s warmth,
When love is fired through a gun,
Or taken from a calloused hand;
Sight has cursed my heart to see
The naked spent to dust.

Blindness,
Kiss me with your tasteless lips and I will see no more.
I will not see their tears through mine,
I will not see their laughter;
I will not see their careless words,
Looking dumbly after.
I will not see their hateful glares that only’ve seen hateful eyes.
I will not see their broken ears that never hear my broken cries;
They’ll all be black to me.

Jacob Reinhardt							09/11/2013


Details | Elegy | |

I fear death

I fear death, not quite death but yours, and not yours but mine
I guess I fear my death in being your survivor, but not quite
I fear grief, that it might consume me once more, but not mine
I guess it is your sorrow and despair at death that is drowning my life

I've been here before; I don't know how I survived or what inside me died
I had so many questions that she never answered; they never left, never died
So your gasping breath brings back my sorrow from that walled in stasis
I teeter on the rim of a well that reaches grief's bottom blackness, I lied

It is not your pain I fear, it's mine. I did not survive her deathbed
I never again lived. I died with her though peace I never found
I don't know if it was her death, my loss, hers, or the death cycle
But the air has stayed musty from graves while I pretended not to care

I don't know if I was there for her, or how she felt that last morning.
My memory lapses with that of the child I was then into dreams of gray
I don't know the pain of death, if it is worse to leave or know you are leaving
I don't know if she found peace or her heart broke for me or because of me.

Sorrow swells as the memories fade in, filling that well with blackness
I know that if I don't fall, it will rise up to suffocate me again
If I jump I will lose myself and never find you to say goodbye
My memory lapses, I think I jumped, did I tell her goodbye?

I fear my grief. Grief is all, nothing before or after exists.
I fear that grief will over shadow my mind and I won't be there
I fear that this sorrow will rob me of the words to say I love you
I fear despair will take my soul and this time I'll have nothing left of home.

How do I ask you to share this life with me when I don't know if I'll survive your death?
How do I ask you to live each day and don't let me run when I ran from her?
How do I ask you to believe in me and don't fear when I fear myself?
How do I ask you to comfort me when I'm too afraid to comfort you?


I never asked her to hold me again, to comfort, because she was the one dying.
What right do I have to ask the sick to comfort the healthy, the dead the living?	
And how could I, being the first spirit to die, ask the ones who speak of life still
to comfort the shell I left behind while theirs decays before my eyes? 
There are no comforts to sooth the guilt of living, but forgiveness will birth new life.



Details | Rhyme | |

Forty Lost

Time moves on,
and soon will tell,
when asked for whom
they ring the bell…
 Forty lived
…and forty lost,
you left before twilight.
When it’s half as much,
at twice the cost,
you’ll  bask
in perfect light…
We live in castles
…made of sand,
we come as a stranger,
but leave as a friend…
Remember now,
your last first kiss,
those times will be
profoundly missed…
Your smile indeed
could cast a spell.
You learned to
play a bad hand well…
With all our hopes
and dreams in tow,
we are old too quick,
and wise too slow.
Life’s an elaborate
complex dance...
Would you live again,
if you had the chance?
 
 Copyright © 2013


Details | Rhyme | |

Bukowski

Was it said before? Sure.
Was it said this way? I doubt it.
Perspective is in no way obscure,
And his works are nothing without it.

His motivation’s observed in daily life,
Misery, not just some vague inspiration.
He begs for reason, some way to lessen strife;
His words reflect a resounding desperation.

There seems a need at times to clarify, 
But that’s allowed in his terms only;
So many thoughts seem somewhat ‘rarefied’,
Fed his fire, but made him lonely.

No ‘underachiever’, not just another fool,
But still seeking solace by the glass;
Tempering his stagger and his drool 
With just a bit of ‘kiss my ass.’ 

But, usually, genius ‘sots’ come to ground,
Lucid moments - on the square;
Their driving ‘bolts’ of genius, word or sound,
Only written because they dare.

Yes, you can feel the written “heart”,
But few of us can realize that sort of pain;
No isolated misery… of many lives a part,
Each begs an answer... “Who’ll stop the rain?”

Yes, he’s lived it, seen it, and told it well;
But Timing is the Master of one’s Fate.
Is the timing right?  Funny…only time will tell…
Will you will be a whining sot or dare to be great?

One success can be lucky, we’ve seen that before.
One book, one song, then quietly fade away.
But six novels later, we should know the score;
He must have had something to say.

So, at the perfect time, someone heard.
Someone who was “someone” took someone under wing.
And to those with interest and empathy, they sold his words;
Saying they “are genius” and with “ugly truth” they ring.

But did he create any redeeming changes or impacts?
Yes, what singular influence did all his artful whining bring?
None... just a relentless, repetitive diatribe of sad facts.
Oh, yes…..and a little “ching ching”.

Entered in the "Idiot or Genius" contest 27 March 2014

not so genius

 


Details | Blank verse | |

Mommy You're Gone Now

when I as 7 and would hold mommy's hand
everywhere I went, I
thought nothing bad could ever happen.
mommy's here, you're safe.
Mommy, you're gone now and 
I'm not safe anymore 
Where are you 
you never told me that you were leaving 
and that my own brother was capable of hurting me.
what am I going to do when dad comes home drunk 
and gets violent again? 
Mommy you're gone now
I'm not safe anymore


Details | Lyric | |

Scarlet Moons and Indian Suns

Written August 29, 2013


She could have had my son
As we'd spell our names as one
On scattered ocean shores
Beneath that Indian sun

I loved my ma
And I loved her well
I loved my pa
And that musty smell

I hope to see them some day soon
I hope to see them smiling too
This Earth they left a bit too soon
Much thanks unto the scarlet moon

Some day well all be joined as one
Under scarlet moons and Indian suns

I love my family
How I miss this feeling
Of constant embrace
Awaiting at my feet

So come and pray for rain
To wash away our pain
Before the winter stains
What autumn left to drain

I hope to see them some day soon
I hope to see them smiling too
This Earth they left a bit too soon
Much thanks unto the scarlet moon

Some day well all be joined as one
Under scarlet moons and Indian suns


Details | Lyric | |

Broken Glass

Do you hear the horn of the train? 
And the pitter patter of rain?
Listen close do you hear a sound?
Only silence, will she be found?

Who is fragile, who is of strength
How can one know another’s length?
Blind to the mask which hides her tears
Binding her to demons and fears
A fake light remains as she falls
Even while her broken heart stalls
Darkness commences in her soul
Blood loss spirals out of control
What an alluring crimson paint
Overworked artist starts to faint 

Do you hear the horn of the train? 
And the pitter patter of rain?
Listen close do you hear a sound?
Only silence, will she be found?

Why do some dance falsely with death? 
Unable to force their last breath
Her unspoken words of pureness
Soaked deeply in her loneliness
The jagged line of her escape
Leaves the unsuspecting agape
Drawn up on the median vein 
Just a few more moments of pain
Eyes flutter and seconds pass
Then gently falls the broken glass

Do you hear the horn of the train? 
And the pitter patter of rain?
Listen close do you hear a sound?
Only silence, will she be found?
Then gently falls the broken glass






Details | Rhyme royal | |

Doors Will Open

Doors will open, doors will close
Poetry could rhyme or end up like prose

Doors will open, doors will close
Life is hard, life is easy – everyone knows

Doors will open, doors will close
Poetry is dark…poetry is light – every word flows

Doors will open, doors will close
Death is kind…death is cruel – life has its highs and lows 

Doors will close, doors will open
Life is tiresome…life gives you adrenalin 

Doors will close, doors will open  
Poetry could be lovely…or gloomy; invite positivity in 

Doors will close, doors will open
Death is troubling…death is peaceful…a new life shall begin 

Doors will close, doors will open
Poetry is depressing…poetry is uplifting…
Writing’s a success from deep within
That everyone wants to win!! 

Doors will open
Everyone – come on in! 


Details | Lyric | |

Here Is Gone

Ever thought of something so much
That when you wake up it just automatically
Crawls into your brain cells
Shoots them with laser beams
Until they explode 
And that’s the only thing you have left to think of
Because everything else is fried
Ever wish you could go back and change that night
Wish that you wouldn’t have left her side
That you would have just listened to your heart 
Instead of your gut
Instead of that little voice that echoes
In the back of your head
Ever wished that you wouldn’t be reading this poem
That everything could be like your dreams
Like a family who gets along
Like having a famous relative
Dreaming that you had a better life
More money to spend
More bass guitars to buy
Less drama
Then you find this special someone
Who you can really relate to
And you never want to let them go
But somehow they slip through your fingers
Then your life crumbles 
Falling down like the rain in a thunderstorm
Wishing you could change everything
But you just start over
And try to move on
And somehow end up at the beginning all over again



Details | Rhyme | |

Seeking accompany

Seeking accompany- Zamreen Zarook
 
I kick to wonder what made me to cry,
Am really writing as a fry,
Myself launch to be dry,
This ink will be a victim for my cry.
 
What really went wrong with me all these day,
What made e to forget my last day,
I realized I jumped out of my track yesterday,
So I regret for that, what is called as present today.
 
Happiness have started to wave hands for this sinner,
Sadness have started to move inner,
The faults that I considered as miner,
So far changed as a miner of a winner.
 
My face was a comparison to sunlight,
Where as my routine changed it to moon light,
I wish to get that twilight,
As a sinner I started to search for that enlight.
 
I started to enjoy what is right,
I remade my faults as a kite,
I wished it would fly apart from my  sight,
My system said, you are free from your rubbish weight.
 
It proved that I always should depend on god,
In whatever the variation of my mood,
He is there to clear my victorious road,
So, I started to live according to His code.


Details | Free verse | |

DEATH NOTE

Black memories
made it blind
White images 
are hard to find,
Pain... Emotions...
Hope... are Missing
My Mind, My Heart
are still not working

This is not a sin
for me, for now
but a solution
to make all things down

I wrote this dark letter
with a teardrops in each CORNER...
with a confuse body
that will  turn to SPIRIT later...
 . . .
I think this is the end...
. . .

Silence... ALL BECOME CLEAR...


Details | Ballad | |

William part 1

I ask all to be open minded as I tell the story of my friend,  William .
There are so many prejudice in this World , from color to sex 

To me it has always been the soul , the person inside 
For one that is shallow will not experience life in true blessing 

William my friend was African American , he was fun and personality full of 'I am here "
William was Gay , William disowned , William called "A queer "

Well this is a lesson for all to know
God does not care what color , but the heart , what color it shows .

I had left my 1st Husband , with 2 children I had to support .
I was depressed , felt alone in the civilian World of a sort 

For when I got to Monterey bay , I was on a Military base 
Very shy and recluse , not leaving the perimeter of the land 
I opened such a big door when I left that abusive Man 

I had the tiniest apartment with 2 little rooms , probably 550 sq. feet I presume .
I will never for get the night He came to my door , William ," Girl, lets go dancing 
Let's go explore ! He called me 'The platinum Blonde "

We went out together and danced , he was amazing ! William energized any room . He Lit it Up ! 
For he had something inside his beautiful soul , no money could buy, nor silver or gold.

Well years went by in Monterey bay , I had fallen in love with a man , Lost so much time .

Time went by , after the man broke my heart ,I remember "where is William "
I missed something that lies  deep in my heart . The true Love and friendship of he I craved .

Now this story is long so go to  "William part 2  "be patient , be brave .


Details | I do not know? | |

For Men Everywhere One Billion Rising

1 Billion Rising.

For Men Everywhere.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

Stop!

Stop the abuse!

Of grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Listen!

Listen to the voices!

Of grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Think!

Think of how you treat,

grand-daughters,
colleagues,
daughters,
girlfriends,
partners,
mothers,
sisters,
nieces,
wives,

all women.

Act!

Act now to change yourself!

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

stops when you stop,

the violence,
the abuse,
the rape.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

is perpetrated by,

grand-fathers,
colleagues,
boyfriends,
husbands,
nephews,
brothers,
partners,
fathers,
uncles,

men,

all men.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

stops when us men stop,

The violence,
the abuse,
the rape,

today, now.

Stop! Listen! Think! Act!


Details | ABC | |

In your memory

Thank you for the beautiful memory
you left on my mind
you are not dead
 but you are not here,

to me you are gone,
cos i cant feel you the way i used to,
everything you used to do are left untouched
the space you ocupied is empty,

our yesterday is fading away like the rainbow
so beautiful but so short,
how can i forget the endless yesterday?
when you are here with me.


in loving memory of my sister (you are not an angel but you did what an angel can do,you fly to heaven.)


Details | Free verse | |

Leave a Message After the Beep

It's always hardest, when there is no one to talk to-
When I dial your number, and it just rings and rings
Until the dreaded "voice mail" picks up.
For just an instant, when there is that brief crackle and "click"-
My hopes skyrocket that you have picked up the phone and answered, when I needed it most, the moment I am most frantic...
But when, in reality, it's just that pre-recorded message that I've heard a million times before; how I loath it
And I feel my heart sinking, like there are anchors tied all around it, dragging it into the depths of my stomach!
Where are you? Can you not feel my desperation through the infinite channels of the universe, or are they clogged and busy, too?
Don't you know that I need you, perhaps now, more than ever?
I know you're at that fancy French restaurant you're always talking about, drinking fine wine and eating escargot, possibly dancing the night away.
While I am here, all alone, eating my own heart out for supper.
All I need, all I want, is a compassionate voice on the other end of the line, talking me down off the ledge once again.
Don't you know I've had too much to drink; that I am listening to sad songs and thinking about doing it again- that awful thing which leaves me so terribly scarred when I wake from my stupor? The cuts. You know, those things you hate to see marring my arms.
But I'll have to resort to self-will and self-control, of which I have so very little...
I may or may not make it through another night of melancholy and self-loathing.
Please, for the love of God, pick up the damn phone!

*Any Poem Goes Contest Entry
~JustThatArchaicPoet
 


Details | Ballad | |

Starcrossed Tragedy

A Silent Night's Hunt for a Tigress so blunt, Left the Fiend dancing with my Thisbe's Cloack But where was She? Her Drenching blood is all I can see The Night of Sanguine, The Night of Rapture, Tonight was meant to be All Behold This Tragedy ran by Dark Energy, My Lost Lover's Plea A seed of what is to come, In this starcrossed Tragedy, For I can not live without you, My Pyramus, All I need, My reason to Breathe One sight of me bleeding away from reality, started this tragedy and with me It shall Grow The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy A Star traveling across the moonless Night Sky, In the mid-summer of Verona, Fell from her glorious light, I have lost my guide, My need for Life Every balcony I'll climb for you, Just to Caress you once more But now it is too Late, My Juilet Let the Poison Fill me My Body dyed In silence, Dipped in Paralysis, Forging the Will of God, Feigning the Clutches of Death, My Romeo I prithee to you, See past The Illusion, Caught in the Webs of Love's delusion A Dagger reached my heart once To see you martyr for our love A Dagger reached my heart twice The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy Once the Morning Retired from her weeping The sun shined into her eyes, then his Lifeless, their dream will live on Every Petal will be Avenged The Pain wasn't enough for me, To Live on with me Love without consequence, The Damned Saint, The Angelic Demon The Darkness of the Sea, Carries away with me, In this Starcrossed Tragedy


Details | Rhyme | |

Overcoming The Tragedy

You left i cried
im lost inside
this pain i gain
tears fall like rain
it hurts it cuts
i miss you so much
three years have passed
im suffering atlast
realizing my pain out of no where it just hit me
wishing everyday that you'll come back to earth to get me
but your never comming back
and they'll never see me smile
due to all the love i lack
i wont be happy for awhile.


-Spencer Coggsdale     dedicated to Roxanne Lynnette


Details | Free verse | |

The Eyes

The Eyes

The eyes so shattered and so blue,
You sit there and you knew
The pain of losing someone close to you,
And you beg for their return,
But a wish so great, can never be granted.

The eyes shattered and blue,
Watch you,
Take the bottle and drowned yourself,
They watch you destroy yourself,
And they know what they do,
Yet they show no remorse, no pain in heart.

You fall asleep
On a dirty mattress,
Held up by broken dreams
And nightmares,
No pillow, no blanket
Just air you float on.
And your blind eyes close in the night,
The dreams come back to haunt you
And the eyes, they watch you,
So shattered and so blue.

Till three o’clock hits again
Wake in cold sweat,
Spiders on webs weaving a nest
In your head,
A cry out for the Madhouse,
Where the eyes so shattered and so blue
Stare at you, through a window with no reflection.

-10/3/2013


Details | Light Poetry | |

The Feast of Darkness - version 2

Death, Darkness, and the Devil
All feast at the same table
Under candlelight
They rejoice at our suffering
Our pain is food for their souls
Our blood 
Becomes their wine
They dance upon our graves
A white dove passes over
And cries

Tears may drown the suffering
The pain never dies

The universe expands
As we feed it our existence
To exist no more


Details | Quatrain | |

Gone But Not Forgotten

I remember it now
Not all, but enough
To understand how
I am afraid to accept love

Because some love hurts
Especially the kind you gave
The kind nobody deserves
The kind that plants the seed of hate

It matters little if you feel remorse
Your guilt could never ease my pain
The damage you did cannot be reversed
I still wear the residue of shame

And you will never have my forgiveness
My hatred will be your only companion
As you lie upon your deathbed
Feeling frightened and abandoned

You still won't even have my pity
Pathetic as you are
All you will ever be is what you did to me
As I will always bear these ugly scars


Details | Rhyme | |

~~ Beloved Wife ~~

I was looking for Inspiration, for an “Elegy” Contest Poem
A Rambling POET , Constance, with  POETRY from her Heart
With deep embedded feelings Her  ~~Beloved Husband~~  is where I start
For I too lost a dear true LOVE, Glenn and Lenore in Heavens Home
I felt the pain of agony, the pain of a lost LOVE,  I know what Constance felt 
Together in Spirit, yet so far apart, together in Prayer, at a Gravestone we Knelt
I stare upon the ocean of tears that Constance cried, for in that ocean ,my Wife died
As we grow old together : Alone : let us meet in Heaven, YOU with YOUR Husband
                                        I with my Bride
Inspired By A Rambling POET, CONSTANCE"s Contest "Scavenger Hunt"
Dedicated to "A Rambling POET: Constance" 


Details | Personification | |

The Snow

Falling at a terminal velocity
From the ether we fall at a speed that is  
Slow
What is my purpose, my destiny
Inevitable fate befalls the
Snow

Colliding with the other frosty white souls
Scattered across the ground sparkling like bright white
Gold
We're born in a season that is dead
How can something so white and pure be 
Cold

Like vampires the sun is our infirmity
Dawn approaches illuminating hues of
Wry
The epiphany before my death 
Is everything is impermanent 
Why


Details | I do not know? | |

The Obscure Love

The cash and carry of love
Which summer doth requisite
When will thou birth me a dove?
Soon autumn will bid for hunt-		5
To gratify winter’s drudge
Oh! Far is the sight of spring
None can pacify better
For season flies without wings
And quick does it charm scald beauty
 Of whose time shall be pleaded?	10
As vaguely summer doth leave
Crow beckons with a caw
The womb that is long barren
Whom for eon is not loved
And in earth’s hate it joy is lost		15
Quick drains life off it victim


Details | Limerick | |

Big Fat Looser

I Am a Big Fat Looser

Oh I am a big fat looser
I don’t deserve to live
I need someone to take a Gun
And shoot me till I’m dead

Yes I am a big fat looser
I really want to die
I’m looking for a violent guy
To shoot me in the eye

Oh I am a big fan looser
I really have to say
If this is life I realize
I hate it every day

Yes I am a big fat looser
And life is just the pits
I am a guy that wants to die
Not live another day

Oh I am a big fat looser
I really hate this life
If you the one don't have a gun
Then maybe use a knife

Yes I am a big fat doofus
I really have to say
If suicide is painless
Well then maybe that’s the way

Oh I am a big fat doofus
I live in misery
But I don’t have the courage
Or I’d blow myself away

I really am a doofus
I’ve one more thing to say
If anyone is listening
Then shoot me right away
So I can die today


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

It's Been One Year

Here we are still without you
one year later, there has never been a pain any greater
Daily, we remember your sound
your smile and the way you felt
I am so sorry for the hand you were dealt
We miss you so much it's unreal
To have you back we would kill
We want to believe that you hear us talk to you up there
You must know how much we care
Pieces of some of us went with you
so forever our bond is true
We will always ask why and we will never understand
and that will always make us mad
Dear God, it didn't have to be so bad
Each of us have our own special memories of you
man, you were so awesome Blue
We're doing the best we can to go on without you
some days are better than the other
then there is days that in the pain and sorrow we smother
You will never be forgotten
and as for the new cousin you never got to meet
he will hear all about Cam-Cam and know that he is called Blue
in honor of you
We love and miss you so much through the wind
we long to feel your touch
My dearest young man
pretend right now that we are hand in hand
I love you so much baby
For now I must go
God Bless your soul


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

HELP HER UP

written 2nd Aug 2013



This life is not as it should be
 pick up your wife, can't you see 

You're her husband, stand up!
 give her a reason, to again believe

She means 'everything'....to this family
 shutting the door leaving her totally... Alone

Do you actually know her at all...
 damaging her heart and soul, deep within it's cold

Loneliness consumes her, it's been so long
 it must be asked...do you still love her?

Are you willing to help her to her feet again?
 or shall you sit back and watch, as she see's the end

This is completely left for only you, her husband to declare
 how much does she really mean to you...do you still care?

Will you step up, or let her rot into total depression, you see it...
 Love and care, or death and dispirit

It's all up to you!
 Her loving husband, what will you do.....


Details | Triolet | |

On Cliff's Edge

upon the cliffs I tarry ~ still as sunset bids adieu to day I feel so cold, a deadly chill upon the cliffs I tarry ~ still so desolate, bereft of will with trepidation, feet of clay upon the cliffs I tarry ~ still as sunset bids adieu to day. whose evil spell did weave such pain that took this heart, and bled my soul I've lost too much, and can't remain whose evil spell did weave such pain my morrow's hopes all died in vain for death I know the bell doth toll whose evil spell did weave such pain that took this heart, and bled my soul. the sea sings dirges of my fate my skirts form wings, blown by the wind the waves collide on rocks that wait the sea sings dirges of my fate a voice begs 'no', but it's past late I brace and leap; soul's suff'ring's end the sea sings dirges of my fate my skirts form wings, blown by the wind.
© 11/10/2011 Lucretia Crouse Triolet is an eight line poem where the first line is repeated for line four and the first two lines are repeated as a refrain for lines seven and eight. Triolet Rhyme Scheme: A B a A a b A B Written in iambic tetrameter (8-syllable lines)


Details | Free verse | |

Spirit unbroken

Dear loveless one

Your hatred may have left holes
in my emotions
and your fury unleashed scars
upon the spirit
you will never possess...
Even though your tongue dug my soul's grave
and your hands muffled my cries
and bound me in chains 
to sinking death as a child,
I kept on living for hope's sake.
You deafened my ears to joy's call
and love I passed by, oblivious
to its tender touch.
You blinded my eyes to the beauty
that was staring me in the face 
and stitched up my mouth 
to prevent your own shame 
escaping in audible screams...

Today my body rests in the ocean
and still you are troubled.
Why then?
You got what you wanted, didn't you?
You murdered your own flesh and blood
to compensate for your flaws.

You know... You know you can't run
from a past so dark.
You hear my daunting laughter 
and the endless pleading haunts you.

I grip your black heart frozen
and whisper, "Goodbye."

Sincerely, 
Spirit unbroken.

(A tribute to all abused children)


Details | Pantoum | |

How I wish I Could Go Back

Oh how I wish I could go back,
To heal the pain inside my heart;
To say goodbye before it was too late,
To see you smile at me once more;

To heal the pain inside my heart,
To hear your laughter fill the air,
To see you smile at me once more;
What I wouldn’t give to just go back,

To hear your laughter fill the air,
To say goodbye before it was too late,
What I wouldn’t give to just go back;
Oh how I wish I could go back.

~For Paula's Back to Bacl Contest~


Details | Ballade | |

My Dearest Daughter

I want you to know my dear daughter
I thought of you every day
The thought you say your daughter hates me
The question asked is how can a baby hate

The answer is, a baby learns what it is taught
I never raised you to hate in any way
To disrespect or live such a troubled way

You've hurt me like no other has
In such a way it no longer bothers me
Although I think of you more then you'll know
I no longer care if I see you again

You were my dearest, my one and only
And the day I gave birth to you
Gave me bragging rights in all that you do
I showed I was proud,  you didn't understand

Much time has gone by
I hardly think of you any more
The day will come, you will need me again
That day will be, when it's much too late

I won't be the one who will be so hurt
You will find that you waited much to late
My time will have ended on this dear earth
I will be gone, spending my time in Heaven

I will watch over my dear granddaughter
I will guide, guard and protect her
From the evil that you teach her
That my dear daughter is a promise

I will take care of her, from above
I will teach her how to love, honor and respect
Things I did teach you, you weren't paying attention

I want you to know my dearest daughter
I loved you before you were born
And I loved you 'till my dying day

I now love you from above
But now you're on your own without my love
Just remember this my dear daughter
You took the love I had to give my granddaughter
From her life, she'll never know

You cheated her, from a part of life
She will find out, and pay you back
When that happens, remember this
It's the same, you did to me


Details | Rhyme | |

A Soldier's Nightmare

It’s late at night,
And yet again it’s time to fight.
Fight for our families and fight for freedom,
To fight for right, is that a good enough reason?

To kill so many said to be our rival, 
We did it for our own survival.
Unsure if it was a selfish act,
Now the nightmares come crawling back.  

Nightmares of soldiers, planes and gunfire too,
Explosions, fires, and barb wires be thankful it’s not you.  
And in time our grandchildren will tell us,
War, it’s wasteful and ridiculous.
We will never live a normal life again,
Until this war has come to an end.	
And even then, who knows when?


Details | Quintain (English) | |

One Day

Listen to me
For this day you die
You hurt me
So you shall cry

Not today
Not tomorrow
But one day
You will feel my sorrow

You've made me a fool
You've made me rot
You've been so cruel
My pain you brought

Now you know how i truly feel
So before me you will kneel
It might be the pain
That drove me insane

To you its a game
But i feel the same
So forth this day
My pride i will claim

This is not the end of my rant
For the demons inside will still chant
You think it's the end
But it's just the start

For i no longer have a heart

Since i no longer have a heart
Your pain is about to start
As i watch your life break and bend
I make sure your pain will never end

On this day
You will pay
For making me
Feel this way


Details | Narrative | |

The love dressed in black

The lady walks away
With thoughts clogged of grey
She couldn't stand there any longer

Watching him go underground
It was dead scilent, not a sound 
His motionless body on his death bed

She cried tears of death and sorrow
Knowing for him, there is no tommorow
Her love thrown away like nothing

No one knew who she was
Because she had only met him the other day
when they fell in love at first sight

The bullet that once saved her 
Killed her first love, in a shock and a blur 
He bled out and died in her arms

Why didn't things work out that day?
Why did things end up that way?
She walked away, a lady dressed in black


Details | Rhyme | |

THE TRANSITION (More of my truths and thoughts0

we were all born into sin but as time progressed
I became guilty of so many sins of the flesh
I guess the pain I possed needed an outlet
but would only get expressed when I became upset

raw pain and emotion led to savage rage
I behaved so far from the way I was raised
became accustomed to street life so most days
was in a drunk stupor or occasional weed haze

stickups,re-ups summer games that we played
street beefs,club fights sometimes the guns blazed
never thought I'd loose my little cousin in that way
should have read the signs , I could feel them that day

can't run from the pain so I had to face it
knew I needed a change but I wouldn't embrace it
All praises to God  I rebuke you Satan
I'm ready to stand in front of the world a changed man

but old habits are hard to break
sometimes the ghost in your past are hard to shake
they'll peck at your flesh until it starts to ache
if you can relate then you know the toll it takes


Details | Ballad | |

Death of an Innocent Heart

Death of an Innocent Heart


That day I fell,today I lie six feet under.I thought you was the one when we first met you made me laugh you held me when I cried and now We have grown to far apart to even truly remember what we use to be.Then by sad chance by crushing feet by this deadly curse you left me and that day I felt my heart die.I wonder what I would do next should i had moved on would the pain hurt me more I don't think i can handle it,should i end my life here will i have pain no more.But what lie beyond death how do I not know I will leave this pain.That day i jump off the bridge into the lake that day I let myself be swept away I let myself drown in sorrow and pain.When I am reborn i wish to be free like the bird in the sky like the ocean and streams, never to face what it mean to be a human.Today I die for the lost of my love for you,It is what most call the death of innocent love.


Details | Rhyme | |

Sad hospital halls

Sad haunting cries echo 
down the hospitals faded halls
over and over in my mind
i remember them all

given the saddened news 
that their loved ones were gone
unknowing that last night 
i sat with them all night long

i softly massaged their bodies
with lotion to ease the pain
i combed their hair 
brushed their teeth
prayed with them or sang

most of them could not answer me
but I could see comfort 
in their fading eyes
when I was done with other duties
i would hurry back to their bedside

for I would not want to be alone
as I take my final breath
loved them as if they were family
treated them with nothing but respect

as they exhaled for the final time
I gently closed their eyes
making them look 
as peaceful as I could
for family's arrival upon sunrise

i tidied up the room 
making sure plenty of tissues were there
i tried my best for each family
to bring in enough chairs

i wiped the tears from my eyes 
before I went out into the hall
sometimes I couldn't help it
and a few would tend to fall

as I walked out of the hospital
deep in thought even as I drove home
hope some peace was brought to you
when I worked 
they did not go alone


Details | Ballade | |

Australias shame

Australia's shame

Four Million Kangaroos they say
In the year of 0 0 nine            
They could be murdered by cruel men
And this old heart of mine
It fills with sorrow over this
These icons of our land
Are shot down for the sake of it
To die upon the sand.

They have to shoot each in the head
Authorities, they say
They tell us this be more humane
And this they think’s okay!
Yet a hundred thousand carcasses
Tell us this is not so
These Kangaroos they die in pain
How can men sink so low?

As one travels the north-west roads
These beasts are everywhere
Mowed down by trucks, in death they lie
It isn’t bloody fair
I love these grand Marsupials
They be so beautiful
How can we treat such graceful beasts
So very, very cruel?

16 November 2013 @ 1355hrs.




                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           


Details | Rhyme | |

Bahrain in Blood

Another example of Western hypocrisy,
Is Bahrain where they claim "Democracy",

A self-designed "Democracy" of dictatorship,
Which actually started from a pirate-ship,

In history you will find that some pirates,
Who were the robbery and theft laureates,

Through cheating, fraud and deception,
Killings, aggression and corruption,

They came into power to abuse everyone,
Before was with sword and now is with the gun,

They thought that their kingdom will last,
Because of their savagery, which is vast,

Did not imagine that they would be faced,
With people's protests and be disgraced,

And that the whole world will come to know,
About the truth of Bahraini Kingdom's show,

This show is about the killings and rapes,
Bodies with signs of torture and scrapes,

Children, men or women have no difference,
In receiving this torture for-instance,

They raid the houses with troops anytime,
And become altogether partners in crime,

The news are filled with photos of tortures,
But Western governments are just the watchers

They have no movement or any gestures,
Perhaps they're waiting to eat like "Vultures",

West have been playing "Divide and Rule",
Thats how they fight with this tool,

But they couldn't start a Shia-Sunni fight,
So they created "Takfiris" or "Salafis", despite,

Now they just sit back and enjoy the show,
Because they sowed this decades ago,

 O' Muslims! We must wakeup and realize,
Or we will, from earth, vanish, otherwise,

O' People of Bahrain we are with you by heart,
Every hurdle has a comfort in a part,

Even though it is Eid, tears are dropping,
As if the humanity is itself plopping.


Eid is a word for Muslims happy celebrations specially after Ramadhan. The Bahraini people are facing aggression and brutality of Bahrain's government forces since many decades. 

From the book "Take Your freedom" 2013
Available at www.amazon.com







Details | I do not know? | |

To Fade out

Rows of thousands buried underneath me.
I can feel them, 
their hands reaching out to me.
their bodies beaten with cracked skulls
damaged to no end,
all these things, 

..neglected attention..
..lacking of communication..
..no disposition..

all these things in this world.
shows their fight for life.

If I could feel death,
it would be faded.
Now I'm starting to see their position.
Because I've learned how to disappear completely.
This is where I end and you begin,
To fade out, again.


Details | I do not know? | |

Pardon my Insanity

I don’t want freedom. Forgive me for sounding paranoid or crazy.
But this man used me. After knowing my history of pain. 
Now I see why people kill the victims and themselves.
Doing away with all evil its emancipation. 
At my wits end. Where sanity has eaten away my brains.
Where my soul has no resting place. And tears are like acid.
That burns through my cheeks. Pardon my insanity.
For I have fallen too many times. Where getting up is just powerless.
My heart is caged. All the impact and friction it took, For years.
And still it beats. Keeping me alive to face another brutal blow.
Pain so severe. No medicine or words of encouragement
Can put me at peace. Love is inadmissible here.
For I am deceased .

01/17/13

 


Details | Blank verse | |

The Forgotten

 Do you remember them?
The ghostly faint voices of the children
Sending whispers upon the wind
But do you here them?
Their pleading wails
Eerily calling into the night
"Please don’t forget me"
But you do...

Recognition of those pale, white faces
Lost in short time
Remembrance given to
The blood splattered fiend
permeating with guilt
But do any of you remember
The glistening crystals
The shock the horror
Pasted upon the drained faces
The scared
The mourning
The world
As tragedy struck her resonating dissonant chord
For all the world to hear
But the spotlight then did fall
To the master mind of that days' pain

A day does pass...a week...a month
….....A year
Do you remember them now
The ghostly voices of the victims fade
Their whispers carried away by the wind
And you do not here them
Yet one little voice still begs;
"Please do not forget me....I am important too"
But soon the forgotten is faded
And molded in their place are the rotted teeth
Of the monster that stole their lives
And is forever immortalized
But will you remember THEM?
Will you remember the dead
Do you remember the victims...?


Details | I do not know? | |

Bullying me to death

You bully me every day
you can’t see what you’re doing to me
you don’t see the cuts and scars
that I hide so you can’t see

the bullying gets worse
the cuts get deeper
and I can’t take much more
I just want it to stop

I don’t show up the next day
and you wander why
someone tells you that I died
now how do you feel inside

I cut myself and take away the pain you caused
I lay there in the bath watching the water change
my body is numb and i start to fade
I hope your happy with the mess you made


Details | Free verse | |

Skin Deep

Achilles' heel 
You’re another day older
The world’s much colder
She…

It’s not your fault
They were taken 
Don’t blame yourself 
for God’s mistake
Is…

Her beauty reflects your own
Her life reflects your future
Chasing rabbits will get you there faster
Loss of faith will bring you there faster
Watching…

The ball drops
It’s clever to see
What happens to us
And here we are
Waiting…

Yes, 
Take the evil out of this
You’re stronger
She’s stronger and always,
Loving…


Details | I do not know? | |

pakshi

main hu ek aajad pakshi ki trah
udti hu khule aasman me
jise n koi chinta, kisi ke shikar karne ki
udati rahu puri jindagi, aajad pakshi ki trah
koi n rakhe mujhe bandhi bna kar 
udati rahu, udati rahu, aajad pakshi ki trah
khane ke liye bhatku idhar -udhar
n mile mujhe khane ke liye
bhukhe pet hi so jau
kitne bhi kasht mile, has kar sah lu unhe
koi phark n pade, ab kisi kasht ka
aadat hi ho gayi ab hume
main hu ek aajad pakshi ki trah
udati hu khule aasman me


Details | I do not know? | |

REST IN PEACE MUM ANN BROWN 18 AUG 2011

MUM ...

WHERE DO I START? I DON'T THINK THERE IS WORDS , TO EXPLAIN HOW I AM 


FEELING ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOU... BUT I WILL USE ALL THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE 


GIVEN TO ME , SO I CAN GET THESE FINAL WORDS OUT THE GUILT , SADNESS AND 

REGRET  FROM NOT SEEING YOU LIKE I WANTED TO  SO ****ING MUCH ,

 THEN THE PAIN OF NOT HAVING  A CHANCE TO SAY "GOODBYE" TO THE MOST 

BEAUTIFUL MOTHER COULD WANT, AND YES MUM I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUTO HOLD 

YOUR HAND, TO SEE YOU SMILE , TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, WOULD MAKE MY LIFE MORE 

WORTHWHILE. YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE, BUT YOU NEVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO 

LIVE WITHOUT YOU I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH MUM, BUT THE LOVE IN MY HEART FOR YOU , WILL MAKE SURE 

YOUR LIFE , LOVE , WARMTH AND TOUCH , WILL LIVE ON FOREVER , 

IN ME I KNOW THAT YOU CHANGED ME , JUST FROM YOUR 

PRESENCE...THATS'S HOW STRONG YOU WERE MUM I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T LEFT ME , 

FOR THE LOVE IN MY HEART REMAINS , YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO SUFFER AND YOUR 

BODY WILL FEEL NO PAIN...... GOD TOOK YOUR HAND , AND MADE US PART , HE CLOSED 

YOUR EYES , AND BROKE MY HEART ....FOR ALL THE TIMES WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER,

I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR FACE.

THERE IS NO MOTHER ANYWHERE LIKE YOU,

NO ONE COULD TAKE YOUR PLACE.

IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN YOU WERE LEAVING,

I GUESS I EXPECTED YOU TO FOREVER LAST,

ALL OF THE DREAMS OF US IN THE FUTURE,

ARE NOW BUT MEMORIES OF THE PAST.

GOD TAPPED YOU ON THE SHOULDER,

HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW,

THAT YOU WERE GOING WITH HIM,

TO THE SKY SO BEAUTIFUL BLUE.

ALTHOUGH I MAY NEVER SEE YOU MUM,

ARJAY WILL BE BY YOUR SIDE,

HE'S GONNA HOLD YOUR HAND,

AND LEAD THE WAY,

FOR HE WILL BE YOUR GUIDE.....

I LOVE YOU MY MOTHER.....
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND, 
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW,
DON'T TELL ME THAT I WILL SURVIVE,
HOW I WILL SURELY GROW.
DON'T TELL ME THIS IS JUST A TEST,
THAT I AM TRULY BLESSED,
THAT I AM CHOSEN FOR THIS TASK,
APART FROM ALL THE REST.
DON'T COME AT ME WITH  ANSWERS THAT CAN ONLY COME FROM ME,
DON'T TELL ME HOW MY GRIEF WILL PASS,
THAT I WILL SOON BE FREE.
DON'T STAND IN PIOUS JUDGMENT OF THE BONDS I MUST UNTIE,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO SUFFER,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO CRY.
MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH SELFISHNESS,
MY PAIN IS ALL I SEE,
BUT I  NEED YOU,
I NEED YOU YOUR LOVE UNCONDITONALLY.
ACCEPCT ME IN MY UPS AND DOWNS,
I NEED SOMEONE TO SHARE,
JUST TO HOLD MY HAND AND LET ME CRY,
AND SAY, MY FRIEND I REALLY DO CARE
Mom you mean the world to me
It’s hard to live without you ,You were always by my side
Through thick and thin you helped me


Details | Rhyme | |

Jesus Paid the Sacrifice

Jesus Paid The Sacrifice! Jesus sacrificed his life for you and me! So we can be with him for all eternity! His life for ours… a ransom was paid IN FULL, This is why I I love HIM so! Upon his head were placed the crown of thorns, Enduring so much shame and scorn. The blood from his body as it began to flow! The pain inside his body, Began to grow! The nails placed in his feet and hands, The pain he went through is hard to understand. His life for ours, is what he gave! His life for ours… Is what he did trade! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Her Final Words

"No." She whispered before drowning into her sorrows.
Her life had been a simple happy one. 
There were no pains and no troubles.
Life was life and people were people.
Life was simple.
and life was all about tomorrows.
Life didn't know about sorrows.
Her sorrows.
Those same sorrows that she drowned in never existed. 
They were never there, but where?
First to be sad in the naive town of joy.
Sorrow became contagious and what was known as happiness no longer was there.
It was non-exististent. 
A meager thought 
and a blessed memory.
She tried and tried.
She failed and failed.
Life was no longer hers.
For Pain was her only possession.
Her curse.
She lived and she died.
Yet, her legacy was passed on.
Never was it gone.
"No." She whispered before drowning in her sorrows, 
"Save them."


Details | Free verse | |

Let Me Go

Let Me Go!
I don't want this anymore!
I can't go to sleep at night,
all I seem to do is write.

Sometimes I read...
I read until I finish.
When I finally go to sleep,
I hear the sound of the alarm "BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!"

Oh gosh,
I can't handle this anymore.
I am going crazy here
and no one seems to notice it, my dear.

I cry myself to sleep.
telling myself everything will get better.
BUT IT DOESN'T!
And I know I mustn't

but I want that knife
just as much as I want that gun
I hate this world
and everything about this girl

She sings and tries to get attention
yet no one gives her the time of day.
She falls into the books she reads
no one knowing, it is escaping, she pleads.

This girl is me,
oh but you knew, right?
Since all I ever talk about is me!
Gosh, can't you see?

I'm my enemy!
I'm my own nightmare!
No one is hurting me!
It is me who shouldn't be let free!

Lock me up! 
Kill me!
That way I won't harm myself...
I'd like it if it was someone else

Please, do me the favor
and let me go
for no one can save this girl
from this cruel world.


Details | I do not know? | |

A MILLION PIECES OF YOU

Today your vase broke, my symbol of hope, a way of holding on to a piece, a fragment of your soul, emotions rising to the surface, buried deep, your ashes in soil, growing now in that tree of hope, your heaven all it's own, this vase made house a home. Alone I sit picking up the million pieces of this piece of you, your soul, my way of holding on not dealing with this hole that was left. I placed so much value in this material vase, my make belief testament of our memories and time we shared. A million, scattered, shattered, fragmented pieces here, crocodile tears...I feel you standing there, knowing it's in my heart, where, you've always been, not in some material fragile glass. I inherited your vase in your sudden demise, now in pieces of me, cherished it so dear. A million little pieces, this sliver of a glitter of glass draws red, and, I realize all the things that were left unsaid, I'm still alive, but you're the one more alive than dead. You cannot take these material things through the next life, all  you have is the love of this one, the things you took the time to share and say, nor can you lean for comfort upon them, but today i did,today it was ok, because I knew it was you who broke it! Scattered, shattered, these emotions, brought to the surface, I'm feeling the million pieces of healing. Silly of me to place your soul in a vase, some glass of art, as if it's what defines you in all these pieces, all these parts. I suck the red from my rings of print and i taste the thought and I hold the best part, it's not in this material vase that I carry you, your carried in my heart!


Details | I do not know? | |

Reborn

My glorious retribution!

Behold- The sky, it is falling!

No more suffering!

 

No more pleading!

This reality shall be met

With the blood of my enemies!

Tis cruel fate has me undone,

And my memories are naught but shadow!

But my beautiful, fear not, for my

Insanity is as pure as it ever was...

 

Let me dine on the blood of the fallen...

We shall need their kind no more!

Ridicule is a thing that I shall eradicate!

It shall be obliterated from my Utopia!

Although I, a born creature of the moon,

Shall ever be impeded by my imperfections,

Your light shall cover this world!

 

My glorious retribution!

Behold- The sky, it is falling!

No more suffering!

 

Our destinies shall be twined around

An ethereal verse of my recreation!

Oh no, no more pain for you and I!

No more salvation in agonized starvation!

Our spawn shall recreate a world

To which our names will be cast in gold!

For you and I, my sweet, for you and I...

I will gladly slice my arm to have my blood

Wash away those who would harm us...

 

Our fates are shining in the sky!

Our pain shall be their eternal torment!

Let me dine on the souls of the living...

For their suffering will be a beautiful song

In my forever ancient ears....

Sing to me my beautiful angel...

Do not allow the scars to let you fade!

Please oh please let this sacrifice not be in vain!

 

My glorious retribution!

Behold- The sky, it is falling!

No more suffering!

 

There is no more feeling!

Behold- Your heart, it is fading!

No more suffering!

 

No more suffering!

No more suffering!

We shall find solace in non-existence!

No more suffering!

 

No... More... Suffering...?


Details | Sonnet | |

SCIATICA - your best friend

    SCIATICA
You'll doubtless think my mind is fooling me,
or all my hurting's only in my head,
but pain is what brings on my misery
and makes my heart to wish that I was dead

and though my case is weak for proving it,
my lumbar's slipped a disk--and out of whack,
because of this my life has turned to shit,
and how I am, depends on how's my back.

My wish is you would have for just one day
sciatica I bear--so you could feel
in spite of what the skeptics have to say
my pain's excruciating--and is real.

   If you could stand a while here in my shoes
   the pain you'd feel would make you moan the blues.
© ron wilson aka vee bdosa
for Facebook, Well this is a pretty picture of a storm coming
on Fort Knox, with me cut and pasted onto to
photo I took last week...


Details | Verse | |

African Seed

Terror lurks in the darkened eyes of a growing child

As each minute she dips into the shrieks from her mama, 25;

Marked dad curled in silence on the ground, wanting life,

Marked by another man who’d barely seen seasons 25.


She recalls how daddy cried out and fell silent to the ground.

Mum recoiled at many punches many staunch “men” had found.

She was 4 back then, and saw as men 12-year olds from out of town

As they ripped her mama’s clothes…she closes her eyes, counting each heart pound.


She recalls that red stream that slithered to her hidden corner

Soaking her skirt; soaking in hurt like staring at the sun’s corona.

Outside guns rattled, taking out all who could mourn her.

Lonely, the tears trickled down slowly, spelling “Were’t I wasn’t born, Ah!”


Slowly the tears trickled down that lonely jaw…

“Jane”, cried the professor, “What’s the result of this mixture?”

Jane knew not what was before, she stood there distraught.

She wishes she could do better, but her past sticks in the picture.


(c) Nyonglema


Details | Limerick | |

death is good

oh give me a rope
with a noose that is loose 
and i'll tie it up on a beam

then give me a pill
that will give me a thrill 
and i'll end it all on a high

Death Death is the way 
for life is to sucky to play

so give me a gun
that is loaded for fun
and i'll blow my brains far away


Details | Ballad | |

L'Avalanche

With the furious rage of a thousand Winters,
A sea of injustice, waiting at the spout.
Like the irritated bite of a good man's splinters,
That swindle and split when sweetly plucked out.

The frost-fangs froth into an empty grave,
And leave all, cowering below, to their bitter end.
Sovereign cragsmen, smothered as slaves,
Like a crumbling ship, so desperate to scend.

The mighty Alps, now a fresh garden of bones,
As its prey lie tangled in the ghastly web.
Listen to the innocent and their soft, muted moans,
And slowly keep climbing from your cruel misstep.


Details | I do not know? | |

Pessimist

How do you expect me to be less of a pessimist and more of an optimist. When you’re pessimistic about my optimism.


Details | Free verse | |

November's Wind

perhaps it was the cold november wind
that reminded me of the bitter bite
the cold touch of death's hands
or the lips of someone gone


perhaps it was the leaves
being tossed about, like a mind
unable to grasp the reality
of another life, gone so young

perhaps it was the trees
now colorless, half dressed
that reminded me, everything must die


perhaps it was the sunset
thick black clouds, surrounded by red
that reminded me
my heart bleeds the same...


another life is gone
another season's changed
another day is gone
another scar is born

etched forever in my mind
my heart bled the same....


Details | Rhyme | |

If I die before I wake

As I die he will be with me,
I fell in love he had the key,
And always knelt on one knee.

My last thoughts are of him, 
As the lights go dim,
Life circling on a rim.

All at once we are apart,
The taste is so tart,
It all hits me in the heart.

You are left to live,
My heart your captive,
There is nothing to forgive.

My cheeks blush so shy,
With a tear in my eye,
As I start to die.

Fear not for I am well,
As many up here can tell,
It is not quite hell.

As I look from above,
kissing the forehead of my love,
I wonder what he dreams of.

I look at him so fondly,
his lips curve so grandly,
as he sleeps so soundly.

I'm like a hummingbird fluttering over his bed,
I wish to be with him but I am dead,
My life over and has fled.

I fear for my love for he is kind,
Strong handsome and well lined,
But now I leave him way behind.

Finding love is like a quiz,
Never knowing what it is,
He needs love from a heart as strong as his.


Details | I do not know? | |

Good Morning, Apocalypse Now : A Tribute to a Vietnam Veteran

Untitled 5
(My Uncle: Good Morning, Apocalypse Now)

My uncle doesn't speak much
about Vietnam or the stuff
he witnessed when he 
was just a boy. See,
he likes to drive the back roads fast 
and honk at random cars that pass.
His friendly gestures always lead to how
he grew up compared to kids now. 

Jumping and racing trains on the tracks
became dodging bullets and carrying his buddy on his back.
The marshes and dirt valleys here
became the forests and trenches of the military frontier. 

Last year, my sister donned his jacket
a fatigued fatigue that hung in his closet. 
In color and memory darkened,
kept out of sight for fear it would harken
the PTSD he's stuggled to avoid. 

He saw his brothers, young like him
to Vietnam succumb
while on American soil
and he promised he would never speak,
for fear his stomach would coil, 
when remembering rice - a dish he no longer enjoys.
And there's no orange on his clothes to remind him of the agent that destroyed.

When he speaks a calm 
"Good morning", I wonder if he's thinking of Vietnam
or if he knows
that I admire his strength and 
bravery and how 
he continually fights against 
the "Apocalypse Now".


Details | Free verse | |

One Heart, One Pen (Why I Write)

People ask me a lot why do I write
Well...Pain is Lyrics am I right
It constricts my heart ever so tight
I try to break the hold with all my might
But the pain is 2 strong
In this mindframe I belong
No friends in my life I remain alone
I was born the same as I will forever be gone
Beginning in my preteens I felt constant oppostion
Looking in the mirror every morning I saw no recognition
Tempted to have my head in the clouds
Which way do I go, drugs or alcohol 
Will it make my conscience proud
It will feel good I told myself, but I saw doubt
I need an outlet, I need a way out
So after the death of my bestfriend
Going on the path to destruction had to end
So in 8th grade english Mrs. Mackowich told us to write a couplet
I felt the urge to "up it"
But I had too much to say
My poetic testimony took the pain away
October 3 2004 was my first write dedicated to my friend's memory
I had my class feeling sympathy, but why do I feel like I'm the enemy
That one death was the weapon to tackle my self-doubt
My depressing
Me stressing
Hopelessness
Self-hate in my heart thrived
My new drug has finally arrived!
So I write everyday, every way
To get away mind-wise
My emotions are disguised
The pen will be my pipe
The ink is my nicotione
Instead of putting it to my lips
I put it to the page
How could I think so deeply at such a young age
I can't stop its addicting
My thoughts are forever flipping
And they ask me why I write
It's obvious I feel spite
After reading people assume I want to be a rapper
Such dogmatic fools why would I participate in such "crapper"
It doesn't matter If I'm black
I'm human and that's that
Rappers write from the mind
I write from the heart
Straight from the middle like a game of darts
I'm the Robert Frost of rap
The Jay-Z of poetry
The Edgar Allen Poe of lyrics
The Kanye West of english
All embodied in one to the end
All I need is One Heart 
All I need is One Pen

If you can't tell that I'm the most unique Afican American of my age you are without 
perspective. If you are not rich and powerful people feel as if what you say is meaningless.I 
speak to people of all corners of humanity with my feelings and thoughts.While my 
bestfriends were partying and doing crime when i was growing up in my teen years, I was in 
my room reading harry potter, playing Playstation, and writing poetry.This is my life and 
talent. The legacy I chose to imprint. This is my ode to poetry.


Details | Lyric | |

Departing

                                                  I can't believe the pain in my heart,
                                                  the pain because you had to depart;
                                                  found another whom you can be true,
                                                  left me all alone, so sad and so blue;
                                                  my heart feels like it will surely explode,
                                                  don't know why our love had to erode;
                                                  life without you is so drab and bare,
                                                  you left me without a life to really care;
                                                  I cry from early morn till late in the night,
                                                  praying dear lord help me do what's right;
                                                  but the pain persists and will not stop,
                                                  I look back and see my life is a total flop;
                                                  the pain just grows more with each day,
                                                  stop, please stop is what I daily pray;
                                                  no one will ever miss me is what I figure,
                                                  I put the gun to my head and pull the trigger.


Details | Rhyme | |

When Love Hurts

When love hurts, God heals
When love hurts, God feels
Your pain too as you do now
Pray and He'll show you how
When love so hurts, how to deal
The deep pain is oh so very real
God'll cry too for your tears and
It's true about footprints in sand
Reach out and He holds your hand
In kind your mind will feel His love
Hurting'll subside from God's glove 
I know of true hurting, how it feels
Accepting a hand of cards He deals
Painful nights crying, I've had many
But God's blessings, I've had plenty
That I will have better days ahead, I
Know and no longer have need to cry
When life itself hurt I questioned why
But I survived and my faith didn't die
For yesteryear's hurts, it will subside
The tears still come once in a while
But the love memories, I can smile
For God's so in His glorious Kingdom
For Kingdom come, thy will be done
And done will the pain be, away it'll
Go, like wood off a creative whittle
Beautiful to see, as days coming be
God cures all hurt, just wait and see
My mother, dad, brother, baby too
And for me, cried like baby boo hoo
But I wiped away the tears and have
Been blessed like a cow and her calf
Help do words of praying and writing
More than once, had vision - sighting
Not just in dreams, but for really real
I was in such pain, it was just surreal
Once it was Mother/Son, Mary/Jesus?
Through Him I pray for me, bejezzus


Details | Lyric | |

End It

End It
By: IzaDonna

My demons crouch real low
Seeping out of me real slow
The pain protectively covered
Darkening memories like no other
But I hide behind a smile
This life not seeming worth while
The blade I have is ready to go
Life already being at an all time low
So bring on the darkness
i no longer have a purpose

Chorus
I push you away to protect you
My sickness n pain being nothing new
So save yourself from my sorrow
Cause I won't live to see tomorrow
You deserve someone better
So let me be and go find her

Loneliness is my own choice
Feeling so lost with no voice
So I let each day slip by
Everyday just wanting to die
What have I become
Where did all this pain come from
Being left alone is my desire
The spark going out in my fire
My days I feel are at an end
Too far gone to possibly mend

Chorus

So bring on the darkness
I've lost my purpose


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

The crying girl

A little girl's heard crying 
In her room at Mary kings close
Not everyone hears, only a few
If you listen carefully
You may hear her to
Let's call her little Annie
As no one knows her name
People leave her presents
To try and ease her pain
Pustules on her face they weep
Her body red and sore 
She prays each night the pain to stop
She can't take it any more
The pain it keeps her crying
At night it hurts the most
In 1645 Annie died of the plague
And what we hear now is her ghost


Details | Couplet | |

The Feeling

From deep within a silence grows
Vastly spreading, yet no one knows
No one knows of what's to come
The Feeling is sudden, then it's done.
Often with pain, fits of sorrow
The Feeling leaves nothing, not even a morrow
With much haste, take one last breath
We all succumb to The Feeling of Death.


Details | Free verse | |

Look Around You

Look around you
The world is already at an end
When the Mayans said that the world was going to end
They didn't mean a world destroyed by flare, quake, or salvation
But rather a world full of broken relation
That possibly, it wasn't a literal interpretation
But a figurative analysis of this falling nation
Are we not all the same people, the same human
But we'd rather live a life divided
A life divided by the color of our skin  
What is war but greed to keep the amount of money left for our kin
Life is no longer cherished
The earth used for our own experiments until its resources perished
Genocide, assassinations, and murder supported for a "better cause"
Who are we to judge the abominations of others when there is flaw in our own laws
We continue to redefine what is socially accepted
Making a gateway for divorce, abortion, and legal prostitution
Rather than fixing what has been so psychologically rooted into the minds of this generation
We look to cover up past mistakes with a newly corrupted translation  
Girls look for sex because of a lack of love from their fathers
Society tells boys to make use of this advantage 
Treat girls as objects rather than human beings with emotions
And we later ask ourselves
How did these boys and girls ever become such bad parents
Our government shouts democracy
But isn't that really just a cover up to keep us appeased
It's most convenient when the majority stays quiet 
Because only those in power can say that this earth's a heaven
To the majority, this earth is already a hell
The human race is so arrogant
Believing that they are the most superior in this world
That they can live without the mercy of God who should be in control
Look around you
The world is already at an end


Details | Rhyme | |

Echoes from the Other Side

In my dreams you sang to me,
while hidden in the mist...
As I knelt upon your grave,
with flowers in my fist.
I felt your spirit close to mine,
like memories that I keep...
Is it easier to sing to me
while I am fast asleep?
How tangible these dreams of mine,
yet also quite surreal...
Do these echoes from the other side
have something to reveal?
 
Copyright © 2010
 


Details | Quatrain | |

The Robbery

Rob me of my purity,
But once again it's all my fault;
Fell into the trap of false promises
Because I pressed play instead of pause.


Details | Free verse | |

My cobain smile

I want to drown my urge to die
I want to kill my pulse inside
I can't breathe, I'm paranoid
Everything in life I avoid

Don't speak to me, I'll look away
Inside my eyes is just decay
 I'm already dead, but have yet to die
Why do I keep my body alive

My soul is dead, eyes are lies
So is the smile I hide behind
Pull the plug, I'm a fake
In a nightmare and I cannot wake

Drown me! I'm flooded in pain
Please help me regain
Some peace, some rest 
I want to die to live again

Set me free 
Slitting my wrists isn't working
The more stares I get
The more I become numb
I just need to be gone
Eliminate my pain, 
I'm already out of breath 
Suffocating on my hopelessness

Every day I am alive 
But I'm craving to die inside
Curved smile because your so naive
You think I'm happy 
Yet I'm being crushed
My head is overflowing 
With these thoughts that are too much

One word, suicide
Sparks a light inside of my eyes

I don't want to pretend to live
Let me go, flood me in sin
There is where I want to swim
Six feet under the ground

Don't be selfish 
And keep me in pain
To tourture my lifeless body again
Let my body float soundly
Rushing water, ocean salt
I promise I won't feel it at all.

End it, hold me under 
Then bury me so I can slumber
Goodbye lifeless eyes
As I'm dying I'll be coming alive
Haunting images 
Deleted from my mind
Laughing 
As I leave this world behind

Water 
Floods my lungs 
Death 
Leans in for a kiss

Together we sink into insanity
And drown in infinitys abyss. 


Details | Free verse | |

Apocalypse

Silence, nothing,
Clicks heard.
Light appears,
Drifting towards it.

Watching, waiting,
Curiosity pulling me closer.
Suddenly, fire,
Everywhere, burning.

Watching, waiting,
Silence, crackling fire.
Then something pierces the air,
Screams, loud and shrill.

People running,
Trapped in the circle of fire.
Heat, fire closing in on us,
Burning everything in sight.

Fire climbs onto us,
Pain, searing pain.
More screams,
More burning flesh.

Then, after so long, silence,
Never ending darkness.
Nothing left, all of it gone,
Everything has ended.


Details | Rhyme | |

Alone with My Thoughts

Alone with my thoughts-
My Mind concocts
A thousand, million, billion dots
Connecting through my Brain

Colors spread through the depths of my Head
Then I wondered, "Am I dead?"
For no one ever said-
The Truth could hold such pain!

*An old experimental type piece written on LSD; the rhymes are meant to be irregular (I suppose lol)


Details | Free verse | |

Loss

Searing pain rips through my chest,
As I slip on the painted green stairs, 
Running from something I’m not sure
Too afraid to stop, to turn my head.

My heart races, my head throbbing,
If I could just take a deep breath,
To cleanse my soul and refresh,
Where is this dark building I’m in.

Lying in warmth I move my hand,
Red covers me, flowing down the steps,
A peaceful calm envelopes as I view
My Dad with open arms waiting for me.

He is standing now, out of his wheelchair,
Smiling with his crooked grin so sweet,
The pain ebbs and happiness grows
Then I wake again to the dark emptiness.



Written September 23, 2012
For Francine Robert’s contest
“In Dreams”



Details | Terza Rima | |

THE SHARPEST SPEAR

What life has to do with unpreventable death,
if all I do is live without scope or time...
not being the least aware of loss of breath?


These years are lived with remorseful treason, 
being afraid of losing my battle... 
while fate scorns me with constant derision!


Who lived an existence of tormenting thoughts, 
bearing pain without emitting a single moan,
and hiding them well behind false pretensions?   


All I have left is this faith glowing in the shadows of winter...
it diverges any wind that might put it out with a strong blow,
but determined to keep it burning: neither I fret nor shiver!


Angry fate, cast no stones...my end must come abruptly; 
strike me with the sharpest spear and spare me agony. 









Details | Free verse | |

No More

No More

Feeling abrupt,
Like a volcano ready to erupt
My soul a hurricane swirling
Around my empty mind and cruel
And forgotten soul.

Pain, feelings so strong,
It cannot be described
On a page with a pen.
I snatch the lunar eclipse
Away,
And beauty of the heart goes away,
No sight, no sound;
No pain, no sorrow;
No smile, no frown;
No anything, no everything.

A soul so black,
A heart so weak,
That love is long gone,
And will never return.

No pain is worth feeling,
And no pain such that I hold
Is worth writing away,
No use in finding love again,
When faced with heartbreak
One thousand times before.
No more pain, no more sorrow.

I shall go and sleep away the time,
Till Death comes calling my name,
And lilacs and violets litter my way,
And a single ruby hearted rose
Dries up and slowly dies away.

-10/3/2013-


Details | Rhyme | |

Misery

tear me flesh from flesh
grind me from bone to dust
please bury me alive if u must
Dear God i can't stop this lust
that drives me so insane
and as much as the pain is...
my heart just can't take it
so please shelter me from this rain!

rip my eyes out, 
cut me and place me in the ground
set me on fire if you want
and leave my carcass to be found
by stranded dogs, or starving animals
it doesn't matter anymore
my life has reached its peak
it's death i seek, now i'm sure!!

tear my limbs apart
stab my broken heart
rip my body to shreds
torture me till i'm dead
let me bleed, let me suffer
a thousand times over again
i just need to pay for my sins
i want pain to be my friend

i can't take this misery 
this brutal disappointment of my life
i can't take this reality
i now just want to die!!!

:(


Details | Free verse | |

A Blue Boy's Death Wish

A fragile mind breaks 
Wake upon the rock laden shores
A muffled heart begs to echo
Whispers lost among a velvet chamber

Dusk comes premature time and again
Dropping the curtain on an optimistic sunrise
If you never witness dawn
There is no tomorrow

Always the dreamer aches
Never awake to make real what he desires
The restless corpse walks blind
Dead ends seem fitting for one of the kind

Lost in the labyrinth of strangling vines
Love is the motive and the weapon
Taking root in throats dry from weeping
Sprouts of amnesia in place of smiles
A garden called heartbreak holds onlookers captive
The comfort takes hold, sets in the bones weary of searching
A plea for rest lands on deaf ears

The hollow boy tires of himself
The last request he will ever make
"End me"
Lost and tired
He wishes to be weak no more


Details | I do not know? | |

For Anene Booysen 1996 - 2013

Hamba Kahle Anene Booysen! (1996 – 2013)


Dead at 17, brutally raped and left to die,
in the dirt,

 

at a construction site in Bredasdorp.

 

‘horrific’, ‘repulsed’,
‘brutally raped’, ‘shocked’,

 

do these words mean anything,
to anyone,

anymore.

 

Not to Anene Booysen,

 

murdered at 17, brutally raped and left to die,

in the dirt,

 

at a construction site in Bredasdorp.

 

Anene was raped,
savagely mutilated,

 

Her 17 year old body tossed aside,

 

by the hands of men.

 

Men, always men,

 

cowardly, beastly, perverted, twisted men.

 

‘Beastly’, ‘perverted’, ‘twisted’,

 

do these words mean anything,
to anyone,

anymore.

 

Not to Anene Booysen,

 

who now lies cold and dead.

 

How many Anene Booysens will it take,

 

for us,
society,
families,
people,

 

human-beings,

 

and,

 

men, especially men,

 

to excise the ghastly menace,

 

of the heinous capacity that resides,

 

within men,

 

always men,

 

to brutalise, rape, mutilate, and murder.

 

‘Brutalise’, ‘murder’, ‘rape’,

 

do these words mean anything,
to anyone,

anymore.

 

Not to Anene Booysen,

 

murdered at 17, brutally raped and left,

 

to die,

 

in the dirt,

 

at a construction site,

 

in Bredasdorp.

 

 

Anene Booysen
(1996 – 2013)

 

* – Hamba Kahle – “Farewell, Travel Well” in Zulu

 

** – Bredasdorp is a small town near Cape Town, South Africa


Details | Dramatic monologue | |

Dead Boy's Poem

As my tears turn red, my cuts are deep sorrow and anguish fill my soul. My essence, my life's blood drains away as my wrists, cry for you. 

No longer do I feel pain as my life drains away, this withered husk, shrivels up and blows away no longer do I feel pain.

Tears of red night into day, as my life's blood drains aways now on the path to decay thought of you wither and die today. As my tears turn red  I welcome this day  my cuts are deep, the pain is ending on the path to decay.


Details | Free verse | |

The Bird that is Loved and Loathed

It burns and it stings.
It hurts.
More than drowning beneath 
the ice.
More than remaining in a 
kindled flame
She hits and I no longer cry.
Why mother, why? 

It burned and it stung.
The markings remained, 
returned, and were relived
Looking, loving, and little 
known loathing were the known 
ways of living.
Never was their pity for the 
child that cried
Never was their relief for the 
child that tried

You were that lovely bird that 
understood the complications of 
felicity 
Nothing looked the same in 
those dewy browns of yours.
My everbeating would cry tears 
of joy.
The others-they were yet to 
appear.
Caring Mother, o' so fair
 You were that beautiful bird 
filled with care.

The others came and were not 
alone. Their two suitors sat on 
the throne.
Rampage and rage why did you 
come?
I began to wither and wither 
slumping along. So very soon I-
the child of fines- became a 
human raceme. 
The droops of the Lily of the 
Valley became the slumping of 
my heart.
My lovely bird the enemy had 
taken you and the person you 
were is far from near.
For that divine nature left its 
intricate self and you became 
irretrievable my big bird.
All of your fairness died.
With that went my pride.
 
Mother, Mother what moved 
you so? 
Your intense spirt vanished only 
to supplement a monster. 
Mother, Monster and your tar 
filled lungs. 
How did I kill that liver that was 
so, so strong?
The lesson of pain was one you 
came to learn.
My darling bird why did you 
turn?
 
My lovely bird and your big 
brown eyes
I'll tell you once, but never 
twice.
Pain is only a flower for it 
blooms and dies
And a mistake can be killed as 
quickly as lice.
 You dear bird hurt me well. 
Though, haven't you heard?
Weakness is a souls greatest 
strength.
You brought me up, then you 
brought me down.
You haved helped, hurt, and 
hindered my blazing spirit.
A hero in my heart-I left you 
down in your deep black 
slumber. 
Escaping those terrible nights
To go for the town of delights. 


Details | Prose Poetry | |

The Demon Inside Me

I feel it stirring deep inside

Ready for it's chance to come alive

I try and try to get away

But it's hold on me I can not sway

I try to hold the demon deep inside

But it's ugly head I can not hide

I hope for some peace when I sleep 

But even there it haunts me

It's ripping and tearing my soul apart

I know one day it will stop my heart

It whispers in my ear

It tells me things that I fear

It's eating me slowly from inside

Just to laugh when I cry 

I can't chase the demon away

So I just sit and wait until the day I fade away......


Details | Ballad | |

My Forever Shining Star

All the oceans in the world 
Can’t hold the tears I’ve cried
Nothing in this world  
Can take away this pain inside

I can’t believe you’re gone from me 
I can’t believe its true
I never wanted memories
I only wanted you

I miss the little things you said
Those words that meant so much
I miss your eyes, your laugh, your smile
I miss your every touch

I miss you every morning
Every night and every day
I’d give all my tomorrows
For just one more yesterday

When they asked what words I want 
Engraved upon your stone
The only words that I could say
Were ‘darling please come home’

You were my every reason
My hopes and all my dreams
Someone to believe in
When I questioned what life means

Always there to guide me
My forever shining star
I’d give my all to have you here
Or be there where you are

In a world of changes
It’s the soul that never dies
In a world of strangers 
I still see me in your eyes

This pain will never go away 
My shattered heart wont mend
Lonely days and empty nights 
Are now my only friend

But if you’re looking down from up in Heaven 
You will see
That part of you forever more 
Will be a part of me...


By Raina Hutchins



Details | Ode | |

Goodbye, my love - Part II

And now I look down at her, her serene, angelic face
And the slight smile on her lips that has stayed
I think of how peaceful she looks,
In her death, all of her pain has been taken away

The pain has been passed on to me,
But I accept this suffering in all humility
Knowing she suffered much worse and far more,
Forever her pain is now a grander part of me

Now life's worth just our memories, 
Everyday I relive them, our precious love story 
I see her everyday, in the smiles of our four children,
I look forward to their visits, that's what keeps me going

Once I had thought I wouldn't last long,
Would die the very second she was gone
But I'm stronger now, facing her death and this emptiness in my life,
With the strength and courage to me, she passed on. 

Every night my love, when I go to sleep,
I feel u lying next to me,
And everyday on my morning walks, I feel this tinkling in my palm,
As if u were there, holding my hand,
And then I look down and see...your invisible footprints in the sand. 

I smile a little smile then, I knew u couldn't leave,
After all, you promised me eternity 
And It's your presence in my life, that even after you died, has helped me stay alive
And it's your aura around me, that has helped me survive,
The biggest blow God gave me,
When He took you, 'Sabera'...the love and joy of my life, away from me. 


Details | Rhyme | |

The Bourgeois and the Spinning Wheel

In a room filled with a solitary red hue
The bourgeois spins a wheel
With no destination, nor need
She will spin until her brittle Hands bleed
Just to satisfy her ennui and artifice
But she does not see - the rien I see
The monster approaching her empty dreams

Spinning still - she does not know
The insomniac rose will begin to grow
The thorn of clandestine and ebony
Ostracized for he began to realize
What lies in nonsense is decadence
Which sparks interest
Who's lover is a dadaist
But his story is over now
As Seth lead the way
A poet dies in dismay

The thorn as she spun penetrated
A distraction and a lack of action
She knew the temptation for she so loved the sensation
Of crass, rebellious - ways 
The thought laid it's seed
In her Gaulish mind it breeds
She has no other need and no regrets
So she proceeds and the smile lets
With full intention and desire
Caring none of her fate that will transpire 
She presses her finger on the thorn 
So now she bleeds knowingly
she did not recede


Details | Lyric | |

Litany of Decay

This is for Litany of Decay

All hope tonight is just a void
Th cure was lost so long ago
But I still dream you will lie  next to me
Though you gave up on me so long ago

I miss the way the pain made me forget
I miss the way the pain made me Lose all misery

All hope tonight is just a void
Th cure was lost so long ago
But I still dream you will lie  next to me
Though you gave up on me so long ago

I miss the way the pain made me forget
I miss the way the pain made me Lose all misery

All hope tonight is just a void
Th cure was lost so long ago
But I still dream you will lie  next to me
Though you gave up on me so long ago

I miss the way the pain made me forget
I miss the way the pain made me Lose all misery

Your love was never meant for me
Nothing I was when you met me
Nothing I was when you left me
Nothing I am as I destroy myself

I must Live to face another day
To sing this damned litany of decay
My heart beckons for the grave
But there is no escape
So I sing this litany of decay
Don't mind me as I fade

Dance with me under the light of the moon
And sing to about my doom
Serenade me with an epitaph 
So I might feel what it's like to truly die

I see your face, it takes all the pain away
But you suddenly fade into the darkest of shade

Your love was never meant for me
Nothing I was when you met me
Nothing I was when you left me
Nothing I am as I destroy myself

I must Live to face another day
To sing this damned litany of decay
My heart beckons for the grave
But there is no escape
So I sing this litany of decay
Don't mind me as I fade

Living is suffering
Homicidal with you
Suicidal without you
I understand if you give up on me

The burden will fall
Today I might, today I may
Set you free, from me 

Your love was never meant for me
Nothing I was when you met me
Nothing I was when you left me
Nothing I am as I destroy myself

I must Live to face another day
To sing this damned litany of decay
My heart beckons for the grave
But there is no escape
So I sing this litany of decay
Don't mind me as I fade


Details | Free verse | |

Our Love is a Crime Scene

If your words
(or lack thereof)
make me slit my wrists

Does that 
Make you a murderer?

You killed me long before
I dealt the final blow.

The jury is hung.


Details | Rhyme | |

Hopeless Crusade

A summoning I’m trying to forget.                                                                                     There’s too much left between the ashes                     
Life lingers far except with me                    	                         
My screams don’t seem to reach you                       

The warmth it surged right through my essence              
Mine is not the same as yours                               
I want to feel me, can’t you see me?                           
It’s never like it was before.                           

Your voice echoes through me                              
As I go through life this way                                  
I hope you’re not watching me                                                               
Fight this hopeless crusade.                                    

Smoke is drifting				                                                                                       It reminds me of the fog			        
Debris is lifting				        
It reminds me that you’re gone.		        

I remember the infirmary 			        
Giving their apologies			        
I’m crying from the outside			        
I’m locked in from the inside			        
I can’t break free			                                                                                           You’re not coming back to me		        

Your life is missing			        
And now I’m alone			        
I’m reminiscing 			        
My heart beats like a stone.		        

These clouds just never seem to part		        
There’s not enough time to shield my soul	        
It hurts just knowing your touch is gone	        
Why can’t it be just like before?


Details | Haiku | |

Mourn For Me

trees mourn my passing
warm caress now frigid grip
leaves shed in sorrow


Details | Narrative | |

Erkallios

Erkallios
Arabic Poem by: Adnan Abu Andalus*
Translated into English by: 
Inaam Al-Hashimi (Gold_N_Silk) 
========================
No feather on his head
To escape hell
Erkallios
Was not a legendary hero of Rome
Nor a pirate with dreadlocks was he
 He was a soldier without a gun
 Guarding the land between the two grieves
 Conversing with himself
 And falls asleep with a whimper

Every night....
The Corporal gets down on his breath: 
“Get up it's time for your duty..
No matter how late you wake up
You will die!”
The sun generates the moment 
He begins to convey gunpowder
The storm spins 
The plane is hovering
Turns spirally
Explodes
And doomsday befell Erkallios!

The child died
The child, Erkallios, melted
 Between fire and iron
 Screaming as if the moment
 Splintered Mayday
 The sound returned disappointed
 He …died.. with .. his ... with his comrades!
The plane, a cemetery for forty
Is lying on the road
Black ....
Like a corpse of a dead whale
--------
Translated by Em. Prof. Inaam Al-Hashim
USA
*Adnan Abu Andalus is a poet from Iraq
“Erkallios” from his poetry collection  “The Smell of Doomsday”


Details | Lyric | |

I'm All That's Keeping You Alive

Another a cappella song my friend and I made a long time ago...

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wish I can save you
But I can't even save myself
You beg me for mercy but mercy's empty inside
I'm Stronger Again
And you're giving in
To all of this pain that I am inflicting upon you
I am...

The whispers in the night
The heart that's pounding in your head
The darkness over light
The monster underneath your bed
The death that waits for you
Lingering behind every door
I'm that voice deep inside
I'm all that's keeping you alive

I wish I can spare you
Your voice faded slowly, now you can't breathe 
You beg me for mercy 
But darling I am empty
The life's dying out
And you're crying out 
To stop all this pain that I am inflicting upon you
I am...

The whispers in the night
The heart that's pounding in your head
The darkness over light
The monster underneath your bed
The death that waits for you
Lingering behind every door
I'm that voice deep inside
I'm all that's keeping you alive

Please remember:
I Still Love You
This isn't me but
Someone else...

The whispers in the night
The heart that's pounding in your head
The darkness over light
The monster underneath your bed

The one who's there for you
The one who catches all your tears
I'm that voice deep inside
I'm all that's keeping you alive






Details | Prose Poetry | |

We Ain't Got That Kind-a Shine

ladies of the night 
are dressed in finest lace 
while hiding in the shadows 
where they never leave a trace 
on barren - broken - bastard streets 
these ladies have no face 
with tarnished tassels in their hair 
they stand like statues there and stare 

the ladies of the night 
now lean in darkened doorways while 
they sip selected wine 
and watch two lovers writhe entwined 
upon the floor where bleeding whores 
are losing life from open sores 
where punctured veins and death remains 
inside a fantasy that reigns 
with bitter dreams of better things 
that lost tomorrows never bring 

now lovers covered - soiled and stained 
with bursting leaks from wounded veins 
where needles of inclusion 
can create and make illusion 
last beyond the degradation 
as they stride in "sharp" persuasion 
unto death of one whole nation 
in complete discreet oblation 

can't find a lot of pity 
in a dark and dirty city 
as the waste is placed in alleyways 
and vagrants void themselves 
on steamin' streets at dawn 
while new commuters stop to yawn 
as night concerns now fade to gone 

all is lost at higher cost 
inside a pride that has been tossed 
onto the gutter - 
where machismo men just shudder 
as they lose their life-time rudder 
leaving all directions and erections 
on the street's abstract inflections 
just before they lose connection 
with their soul 

forgetting obligations 
where unique configurations 
seem to supplement and compliment 
the pain 
the mutual - conceptual - PAIN 

who is the dreamer and who owns the dream? 
who is the screamer in the scream? 
it's you and I dear friend of mine 
we dream the dream and scream the scream 
as part of Eden's Garden Scene 
but we don't ever cross the line 
cause we ain't got that kind-a shine 













Details | Quatrain | |

The Worst Morning AFter


I awoke the morning after And remembered I must be strong The pain came again like lightning How did it go so very wrong? I am no stranger to discomfort My heart often bruised and torn Today the worst I must endure Of these trials character is born.. I thought to hold you in my arms And kiss your newborn face But away you flew with angel's wings Leaving only a bonnet of pink lace....


Details | Lyric | |

Cellar Door Escape The Fate

We walk through the doorway, heard you calling from the hall
To find you in the bedroom not breathing at all
I drag your body to the cellar where we lay, 
the wax it melts away, 
I kiss your face...
Now we are starting to love you more,
your body's on the canvas, 
That I painted on the floor
Now you wait,
like the drug, 
like the change in the pain it goes on for so long
And oh,
now it hurts in the worst way, 
now that you're gone, 
its so wrong,
its so wrong....
If I could take you somewhere,
I'd take you to my darkest place, 
scatter you in art forms, admire the whore,
beauty in different ways your hands on picture frames, 
your eyes in the glass wear your face as a mask
Now they are starting to love you more, 
a gallery of your beauty no charge at the door
As you wait, 
like the drug, 
like the change in the pain it goes on for so long
And oh, 
now it hurts in the worst way, 
now that your gone, 
it's so wrong, 
it's so wrong....
And down below your veins run dry your vacant eyes, 
I lost control your face is pale, 
your body's cold
And down below your veins run dry your vacant eyes, 
I lost control your face is pale, 
your body's cold
(face is pale your body's cold )
Wait, like the drug, 
like the change in the pain it goes on for so long
And oh, now it hurts in the worst way, 
now that your gone, 
it's so wrong, 
it's so wrong...



Details | Rhyme | |

Hemlock Valentine

The image I imagined,
Alas! It has not passed. 
For I am afire with carnal desire, 
unquenched and dying fast! 
My sweetest bane, I shan't complain- 
you are my Love, my Death, my Pain! 
Through my heart, a stake! Oh, do indicate 
the grave where Love was lain.


Details | Sonnet | |

Laughing Man, Pain Hidden

Laughing Man, Pain Hidden


A laughing man hid well his pain
 our approval he sought to gain
A hope that admiration would pay
 force the inner demon far away

Can any judge another man's soul
 we can only guess but never know
The mental pains cut ever so deep
 hammers preventing needed sleep

No plea, request or loud outcry
 no note explaining the why
Answer left to be only a guess
 misery now gone, soul at rest

A laughing man hid well his pain
so very sad but will happen again

Robert J. Lindley , 08-12-2014


Details | I do not know? | |

Helpless Hate

Her pain provokes an anger deep 
from within.. 
A hatred so ugly even the devil 
himself looks in disgust as he shakes 
an icy chill from his thorny spine.

Her struggle pains me..
A deep, searing pain in my chest; I 
close my eyes and picture cold steel 
hands ripping open my chest cavity 
and tattooing words of hate and sin 
on my heart itself. An excruciating 
burn that ignites my insides like 
Satan setting fire to a fresh 
delivered batch of tormented souls..

I hate her pain. I hate her struggle. 
Nay, I loathe them to my core, to 
the pit of my guts, to the last drop 
of blue blood from my fresh 
squeezed body.

How can I help? 
what can I do? 

Besides sit idle and watch the love 
of my life, the woman that gives me 
motivation to jump to the stars and 
reach my dreams, gives me the very 
air I breathe in my lungs; struggle in 
pain. 
The look on her face as these two 
things I hate torment my angel, rips 
my soul right out of my body and 
dangles it in front of me laughing, 
mocking me as it smashes it to the 
ground and stomps all over it..

"not any longer," I say to myself tugging impatiently at the pink wristband on my arm.
"I will not give up this fight."


Details | Rhyme | |

For now Ill be brave and sing you my death song

Ive seen the past in the back of my eyes
Ive lived mylife reaching toward the skies
Memories flash by and make me smile
Im looking atthe end that coming in a short while

Ive suffered pain and grief enough for two life times 
So I welcome the angels songs and harp chimes
Ill be traveling to heaven here I know I belong
For now Ill be brave and sing you my death song

Ive tasted the finish but now I fear not
God is on my side and I love him alot
I have laughed with the reaper as he told me his grim joke
Were not old friends but strangely now Im his kinfolk

Ive suffered pain and grief enough for two life times 
So I welcome the angels songs and harp chimes
Ill be traveling to heaven here I know I belong
For now Ill be brave and sing you my death song

I know fullwell that I cannot escape my demise
Just acceptmy fate is what everyone has cometo advise
For now I exist on the tears of those who weep
They give me love and hope that I can forever in my soul keep

Ive suffered pain and grief enough for two life times 
So I welcome the angels songs and harp chimes
Ill be traveling to heaven here I know I belong
For now Ill be brave and sing you my death song

This is for all the people who Ive known and who I dont know that have stared at death  and been strong.


Details | Free verse | |

Tears of Broken Death

I feel the pain The immense pressure in my chest Will she leave me Will she die I don’t think I can handle this The increased heartache For she is near death I hurt so much By the ears she listened So quietly she sleeps But deceivingly so She doesn’t breathe quite right At a loss for air I quiver with the pain of her dying She listens With each breath she takes I breathe but not of happiness I hurt all throughout I hate to worry The annoyances of being this way The terror of the inevitable Death will surely come slowly Taking each breath she has And throwing it out Past any hope Of recovery She has no air left in her To breathe And I cry… Tears of broken death
Russell Sivey Entered into Nathan A.'s "Free-Verse poems" contest 3/12/2013


Details | Rhyme | |

The Weeping

And so begins the weeping,
The weeping that comes in waves;
Waves that crash in evening tide
To begin the sorrows fade.
And yet in sorrow I sit,
Melancholy under night;
Night whose air reminds me still
That remembrance is the light.
And who shall be the teller,
The meter for this old song?
Sung in whispers meant for none,
Save for those who may belong.
On air and breeze cries carry,
Yet alone they reach the sea.
And I endure their telling 
As the waves crash over me.

C.L.Baker©2013


Details | Rhyme | |

On the banks of the River Sticks

On the banks of the River Sticks
I stand and stare 
With my skin so open and bare
In a line formed of lost time
I stand on the banks of the River Sticks
Wondering why the fog is now so thick
Reaching closer the hand of death 
And feeling his cold harsh killing breath
On the banks of the River Sticks
Lined up in rows of six
Crossing over to the other side
No place to run or hide
Hope to god he spares you skin 
But only if you did not sin
On the banks of the River Sticks
All eternity feeling sick
My body sleeps forever to come
But my soul is crushed by death’s strong thumb
On the banks of the river sticks


Details | Couplet | |

The Deadly Dart

Wherever I go through out my whole life,
I end up struggling with lots of strife.
Thinking that my life is a total waste,
Wanting it to be over in a haste.

I can feel the pain inside my own heart,
Like someone through at my a deadly dart.
The wound is easing deeper and deeper,
Will the pain ever stop getting bigger?

Feeling emo is never a good thing,
Cutting your arm makes a really bad sting.
Blood is dripping from my arms and my heart,
Failing to dodge the largest deadly dart.

Drowning in all the lies and self pity,
I live each day but always feel sh*tty.
I have lots of thoughts about suicide,
But then I think about those who have died.

Those who have died not just from suicide,
But also those who are really nice guys.
...
...
...
...This "poem" was actually suppose to be a couplet (on any thing you want) for my english 
class but i made this kind bcuz i was feeling emo that day...and also after i was done i read it 
over and it almost sound like a rap song which, i guess, is kinda funny and cool.........


Details | Rhyme | |

Going Down

Gushing waters surround me Swelling . . . swirling, the pressure is whirling The cries are gone But the wind still screams As the timbers of my exhaust Burst in violence at the seams! I am going down I welcome the tempest with a frown Broken mast amidst the swell Purging me deeper in this watery hell Bodies concealed within Soon the pressure will win Southward bound, pell-mell Into the blue, blackened demons of watery hell! Of sickening inevitably do I sail Into the depths of my demise Gone now are the magnificent, mortal cries Swallowed by the bulging sea The wind upon the splintered timber still screams As gleeful as can be! Going down I never knew I would falter and die in the deep dark blue Going down I see Past fly And wave with my sail the Future—goodbye


Details | Rhyme | |

The Specific Ocean

The point is dull upon the spear,
But still it pierced my greatest fear-
That this pain will always worsen
(My sinking ship so wayward steered)
Through the Ocean of my person
Toward a vortex, alas! Am veered!
I'll sail to Hell- cursed excursion!
But, lo! An island doth appear-
The sea doth swell; to Her a burden
My Vessel and I; 'tis clear! 'Tis clear!
That She vows for our submersion,
Crashing upon the rocks rushed near
Shipwrecked! Incurred Her incursion!
When She, so once to me endeared-
How I wish a diff'rent version
Of our tale that endeth here...

*HEART OF THE SEA CONTEST ENTRY


Details | Quatrain | |

Sandy Hook

Today, it just doesn't seem fair
That we are still able to breathe.
They have given us their air-
Our duty to lead the life they leave.


Details | I do not know? | |

REST IN PEACE MUM ANN BROWN 18 AUG 2011

MUM ...

WHERE DO I START? I DON'T THINK THERE IS WORDS , TO EXPLAIN HOW I AM 


FEELING ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOU... BUT I WILL USE ALL THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE 


GIVEN TO ME , SO I CAN GET THESE FINAL WORDS OUT THE GUILT , SADNESS AND 

REGRET  FROM NOT SEEING YOU LIKE I WANTED TO  SO ****ING MUCH ,

 THEN THE PAIN OF NOT HAVING  A CHANCE TO SAY "GOODBYE" TO THE MOST 

BEAUTIFUL MOTHER COULD WANT, AND YES MUM I'M TALKING ABOUT YOUTO HOLD 

YOUR HAND, TO SEE YOU SMILE , TO HEAR YOUR VOICE, WOULD MAKE MY LIFE MORE 

WORTHWHILE. YOU TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE, BUT YOU NEVER TAUGHT ME HOW TO 

LIVE WITHOUT YOU I MISS YOU SO SO MUCH MUM, BUT THE LOVE IN MY HEART FOR YOU , WILL MAKE SURE 

YOUR LIFE , LOVE , WARMTH AND TOUCH , WILL LIVE ON FOREVER , 

IN ME I KNOW THAT YOU CHANGED ME , JUST FROM YOUR 

PRESENCE...THATS'S HOW STRONG YOU WERE MUM I KNOW YOU HAVEN'T LEFT ME , 

FOR THE LOVE IN MY HEART REMAINS , YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO SUFFER AND YOUR 

BODY WILL FEEL NO PAIN...... GOD TOOK YOUR HAND , AND MADE US PART , HE CLOSED 

YOUR EYES , AND BROKE MY HEART ....FOR ALL THE TIMES WE HAVE BEEN TOGETHER,

I WILL NEVER FORGET YOUR FACE.

THERE IS NO MOTHER ANYWHERE LIKE YOU,

NO ONE COULD TAKE YOUR PLACE.

IF ONLY I HAD KNOWN YOU WERE LEAVING,

I GUESS I EXPECTED YOU TO FOREVER LAST,

ALL OF THE DREAMS OF US IN THE FUTURE,

ARE NOW BUT MEMORIES OF THE PAST.

GOD TAPPED YOU ON THE SHOULDER,

HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW,

THAT YOU WERE GOING WITH HIM,

TO THE SKY SO BEAUTIFUL BLUE.

ALTHOUGH I MAY NEVER SEE YOU MUM,

ARJAY WILL BE BY YOUR SIDE,

HE'S GONNA HOLD YOUR HAND,

AND LEAD THE WAY,

FOR HE WILL BE YOUR GUIDE.....

I LOVE YOU MY MOTHER.....
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU UNDERSTAND, 
DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU KNOW,
DON'T TELL ME THAT I WILL SURVIVE,
HOW I WILL SURELY GROW.
DON'T TELL ME THIS IS JUST A TEST,
THAT I AM TRULY BLESSED,
THAT I AM CHOSEN FOR THIS TASK,
APART FROM ALL THE REST.
DON'T COME AT ME WITH  ANSWERS THAT CAN ONLY COME FROM ME,
DON'T TELL ME HOW MY GRIEF WILL PASS,
THAT I WILL SOON BE FREE.
DON'T STAND IN PIOUS JUDGMENT OF THE BONDS I MUST UNTIE,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO SUFFER,
DON'T TELL ME HOW TO CRY.
MY LIFE IS FILLED WITH SELFISHNESS,
MY PAIN IS ALL I SEE,
BUT I  NEED YOU,
I NEED YOU YOUR LOVE UNCONDITONALLY.
ACCEPCT ME IN MY UPS AND DOWNS,
I NEED SOMEONE TO SHARE,
JUST TO HOLD MY HAND AND LET ME CRY,
AND SAY, MY FRIEND I REALLY DO CARE
Mom you mean the world to me
It’s hard to live without you ,You were always by my side
Through thick and thin you helped me


Details | Free verse | |

When we pour salt on slugs, when we fall in love

How is it I could love someone I could not win back with a poem?
Or that I could not touch with an Iris?

How is it I could ever find something in someone who thinks the moon is hiding nothing!?!
Or think it queer that I look for dead locusts, to hold in my hands, to bring back.

How is it I could love someone, 
who when it’s over will meet me like a stranger in the park to chat about the weather or a movie and salt the Irises at her feet. Like dying slugs.


Details | Lyric | |

Death Meets Love

I got trapped in the dark 
the cancer creeps closer towards my heart 
I cant stand the pain that starts

they put a needle in me 
my heart stops beating 
I cant hear my thoughts or what im feeling

everything seems cluttered 
I stand here in a daze 
but your face starts to fade

I start to loose my feeling 
my hands are numb and my toes wont budge
my brain stops working 
little flakes peel off my heart

my heart turns gray 
I cant wait to fly away
in the light I shall go 

somewhere else but my home
where pain meets pleasure and death meets love


Details | Sonnet | |

The Death of Madamoiselle DuPont

(continueing the Monsieur L'Vampyre adventure)
   THE DEATH OF MADAMOISELLE duPONT
Dear Stella, up the path, into the park,
deep shadows hide the trees along the Seine,
the quiet of the night accents the dark
and you can feel your breathing now and then.

The peaceful gloom, enveloped by a mist,
all black and gray and shades of morbid white,
accentuates the place your eyes have missed,
where someone waits, who's watched you every night.

This place, where gendarmes warn to be aware,
tonight is more foreboding than you've known,
and so you pause; you look; is someone there?
it's then you realize, you are alone.

The snapping of your heels you hear increase,
as if the hurry puts your mind at peace.

Engulfed, the path leads up and from the Seine,
and then you'll be out of this narrow pit,
but suddenly you feel the eyes again,
much closer than a glove too small to fit.

You struggle with your thinking, in a word,
to flee or just pretend no one is there,
and so you hum a tune you've never heard,
and place your safety in your mother's prayer.

Oh, Stella, Stella, in the spring you'll wed,
your sweet Gaston. Believe he's at your side,
and you will laugh at all this gloom and dread...
though courage might have found you, it has lied.

The shadows all are moving; you can hear
the groaning of someone who's all too near.

The quiet; crickets sounding no alarm,
but now a drizzle rain cools at your heat,
and tingles flowing down onto your arm
remind you of the friends you'll never meet;

quite suddenly, he's grabbed you from behind,
and muffles any sound you might have found,
you cannot scream, to hurt is in your mind,
but he's too quick, he's pinned you to the ground.

Who is this thing, your lover or your friend,
you might have pained...why does he want you dead?
or is this just someone who brings the end,
you've never known, with killing in his head?

You feel no teardrops, feel no blood nor fright,
there's only blinding, blinding, blinding light....
© ron Wilson aka Veebdosa the Doylestown poet


Details | Free verse | |

Dying with a Smile

Love is an unspoken form of maschism
And it's slowly killing me inside.
Each minute of silence 
A lost beat of my heart.
My ribs are all knives now
Stabbing my flesh and making it bleed.
My heart feels vast, hollow
Cold,
Like a hundred story skyscraper-
its residents packed up and left suddenly with out so much as a note on the door
And their rent unpaid.
And each day my skin screams and tries to escape my body and I saw at it with broken glass in an attempt to set it free but I can't.
I am trapped.

And our love is the five ton anchor pulling me beneath the waves.
Our love is the air bubbles frothing from my mouth and the cries of my lungs as they are
filled with the sea.

And our love is the smile on my face that doesn't dare fade despite the pain.

Our love is the hope that soon
I won't need to breathe.
That the chains will break and set me free
To wash ashore with the millions of others and watch them stand up and brush the sand from their hair and turn to bask in the sun's embrace.

Our love is what breaks my legs, keeps my back to the sun and my eyes locked on the dark waters in the hopes that you will emerge and grasp my hand and help me stand! 

Our love will starve me
And burn me
And deprive me of sleep.
I will die for our love before I leave this shore without you by my side.
And maybe,
Just maybe,k
I can smile for once without the pain.


Details | Imagism | |

Death

Thy rose rots, ami'st my feet an' the door,
Pleading, the fragrance its to be sucketh an' bitter wine pour,
Blisters dropp'th from thy swirlin' shore,
Boun'less pain stabbeth me more,
Thy gift'd feather, thy ink pouch, leather,
Those symphonies maketh me smile, no more,
Beneath the cores de pumping meat, I solemnly adore,
Curious stem o' rotten rose whispereth,
Thy reminiscences under my chest crawleth,
Mysterious reas'n attracteth thy death.


Details | Rhyme | |

There's A Healing Jesus


There’s a healing Jesus!  
He’s alive today!
He’s here now!  And can take
 all sickness away!

There’s a loving Jesus!  
He can cleanse your soul!
He is more faithful, than 
you will every know!

There’s a merciful Jesus!  
He can change you within!
By his blood, you can know 
you’re born again!

There’s a powerful Jesus!
 He alone reigns supreme!
He’s the alpha and omega!  
And can do anything!

There’s a gracious Jesus! 
 He’s so loving and kind!
His dedication to us all, 
has stood the test of time!

Won’t you come to Jesus! 
 And receive him too?
He’s knocking at your heart’s door…  
Waiting for YOU!

Won’t you experience Jesus!  
And all he has to give!
He can make you a new person!  
Each day that you live!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

Do Not Mourn

Do not mourn because my time on this earth has ended,
celebrate the life I have lived.
Do not grieve because you did not get to tell me your last goodbye,
for I know how you feel through the memories we shared.
Do not feel sad because you will never see me again,
because I will always be with you.
Do not cry about the silly fights we have had,
smile about the times we have laughed so hard our stomachs hurt.
Do not imagine the pain or hardship I have been through in my life,
I will feel no pain when I'am with my savior.
Please while I'm gone I ask one thing for you,
do not mourn, because one day we will meet again.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Death In Me

I felt the pounding of the yam
Deep,deep down in my bones.
I know the pistil is doing me harm
When my body creaks in hushed tones.

I've seen the fire start
Watched the embers glowing
I taste the burn in my heart
As my pain continues growing

I hear the pepper grinding
And it turns my mind to mush
I see the red so blinding
Staining my soul in a rush

I cry when the onions are sliced
And when the rice husks are blown
I shouldn't have been enticed
But I was-and now I'm alone

I brought the fire,I gave the wood
I took their life and now, nothing stood
I made the knife that stabs me so
I caused the pain and it promises not to go

It was me the Earth
I am my own death


Details | I do not know? | |

TO A FRIEND

I sat to pen a remembrance of you,
in poetic subtleties and disguise
I sought to paint a picture you.
But subtleties are no veil
for a pain in the soul inscribed
for a mild discomfort, maybe
but for a friend you, no.

In verse did I seek to consider you, oh poet.
in rhythm and imagery 
I sought to tell a story, a story you.
But rhythm neer does in step move
with sobs and muffled wails,
and what imagery attends
hollow eyes gazed upon pain.
For commentaries on faceless statutes maybe
but for my confidant you no.

"Be strong and pen", I steadied faltering arms
"to immortalise a friend in verse" I commanded,
with all the tones and hue of a poem
that of a boast you'd make from the heavens

But a poem neer will 
of this poet suffice to tell
for you were first a friend to me
before a poet to the world.
A poem thus cannot tell
of the pain and hurt deeply felt
May be if it was in tears pened
and with sobs punctuated.



 


Details | Free verse | |

Insanity or death the mind of a survivor

                                          Enters Shawnteysmo
Searching for the right answers using the wrong clues
Trying to cure cancer when clutching a carpenters tools
Handed death or mental disaster the latter I did choose
Like dog without a master Im breaking all the rules
I speak when I'm not chosen turn football games to news
Steal tanning beds leave lotion give vagrants home and shoes
When insane lies are useless nothing has me influenced
My brain just produces the truth in it I am fluent
Zip!! The beam from a ray gun knocks shawnteysmo unconscious and then enters 
                                              Dr. Mindbender
Me I'm a whole different character,My opinions are scarier
I am who makes them eat what they serve,When they play in the street I'm that car they deserve,At the last moment I swerve,The kind of torment that unnerves,I saute my pen and eat all the verbs,I've no use for friends so I dont pull my words
I say those things that disturb your sleep,The thoughts I bring keep you tongue in cheek
I am those mental splinters that enter into a place so tender the pain delivered could rupture your liver,Almost sinister but the offspring of a minister
Click! the lights go out and there is the sound of a scuffle the lights return and shawnteysmo has vanished Dr. mindbender is tied up in a corner and before us stands
                                                The General
I have been commissioned,To upgrade the position,Of all who will listen
No need for salutations just pay attention to direction
In the face of negative aggression we will continue progression
We will not waver, cower or sleep amongst flowers,We will devour the devourers
We will hunger only for respect and eat justice for protein
Our voices of thunder will reflect and break mental beams
We will willingly pay this pennance and scrutinised will be every sentence
And when seemingly all is finished we will then ask for forgiveness
It all becomes cloudy I shake those three personalities away regain focus and now Im back to myself............................Sha'ntez
I cherish my regrets so how could I choose death
In marriage myself and stress I accept nothing less
I feast on my pain so I'm already insane
Barefoot in the rain chewing on a sugar cane
I've been without breath pressure almost left my chest
The sickle of the best almost took my flesh
The fallen are the shields that remained on battlefields
So never will I yield I'll have to be killed


Details | ABC | |

Midnight Skies

Midnight Cries In midnight skies the cries of love drift off to sleep in endless love. For he who heard them. Sent them hope, that God created a world for them. For us to see and bare good times. For no more hurt and devishlish crimes. For the earth which once was good. Is soured and torn. There are no morals or dreams no more. Or hope of good things when suffering soars. For they are crushed by his vast sword. For he who has the greater sin. He has carried and been burdened with. He has been forgotten. In times like these. Because people hearts bleed with disease. For they have burdened him with more sin. They have forgotten the pain he is in. For he so carried his cross with pride. A younge man who was destined to die. No matter what the world does think. This man did live before we did. We have lost our way in darkened times. Like lost sheep we have roamed, away from him. If youd only listen and help to carry his cross. Take the blame for things done past. Change our ways for hope to last. We wont do that out of pride. When he is denied. I feel for him. I pick his cross up and help him off the ground. For he is my brother. Who I have found. He has carried that cross. No man deserved his life in such a lose. Tormented and torturded to no extent. He didnt look like a mere man in the end. He coutinued to stand even after he fell. Showing me the strength of Heaven and hell. For a man so strong, so bold and kind. Showed me what we can do as man kind. He gave his life for everyone who reads this. For those who can not see. Do not be blind Find this man, for he needs you. He gave his life to save you. With your help, you raise his cross. You heal that burden of love. That has been lost. Ease his pain and find your way. For Heaven is a start and hell is a step away.


Details | Rhyme | |

Heat


Smothering heat - desert sand and sky. Beckoning of deceit - as breath quickens, rage dies. Screams are whimpers of scorched soul's defeat. By Rhonda Johnson-Saunders for Nette Onclaud's Poem of Compression Contest, 10/1/13


Details | Rhyme | |

A Beast

A beast with dark red eyes,
to give out fire burning lies,
a beast with such a hunting nose,
terrible stench where ever it goes.

A beast with teeth like jagged knives,
its mouth of saws taking lives,
a beast with horns like powerful steel,
when there is pain, it will not feel.

A beast with sharp and bloody claws,
its body of scales against all laws,
a beast with a swinging tail of spikes,
to stab through anything it likes.

A beast with wings to slice through air,
to fly and kill without a care,
a beast with death in its mind and heart,
from somewhere far and worlds apart.


Details | Lyric | |

The Rebel

Dank, cold, unperturbed indifference,
Untouchable, yet touching all,
Unresolved in meaning,
Still creating each and every fall,
Every whim and leaning.

Touché pas! A cry of weary hate,
And will not accept a helping hand,
‘Till death! Brazen adverse in face of fate,
And alone in piteous stand…

Lone wolf we cry, thy fate is nigh,
Yet stands he still resisting,
That love should die, that only tie,
In error still persisting…


Details | Free verse | |

Newtown

Please wake me up,
From this awful dream,
Sounds of carefree laughter,
Have suddenly become,
Horrifying screams.

Gunfire erupts,
In an unexpected place,
Bullets claiming victims,
While others rush out,
Terror etched upon their face.

Why did the hand of death,
Visit Newtown today,
Mowing down the innocent,
Whose only thoughts involved,
School and friends and play.


Why?  Will we ever know?


Details | Rhyme | |

EYE Don't See -Part 1-

My eyes
Pour forth feelings
That I’ve felt in the past
They make my heart ache…
Take it all away…
Oh my God…
They’re making me sink in dismay

When will they break away?
When will they give me a break?

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you hear me weeping?
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?

Eye don’t see
A happy ending in this scene 

My eyes
Journeys into the unknown
Who knows what will happen…
They’re like hidden treasure…
They’re buried far below…

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s weeping…
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near? 

Oh my God…
They’re driving me insane
When will they see my reflection?
When will they heal the infection?

Eye don’t feel
Raindrops of hope and relief 
All I feel…is grief…
Eye sense no peace…

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s sagging…from endless mourning  
And I’m close to my demise… 
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?

Does He hear
My supplications?
Does He sense 
My fear?

My eyes
Conceals the tears that dare to spew out
I feel trapped and lost without a doubt…
They erase my delight…
They seek my hurt…
Oh my God…
They’re casting me away into the perilous sea

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s weeping…
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace throw out my fear?

Eye don’t see
A ship in sight…to save me from my demise
My lifeless body...
Drifts away in the wild ocean...
Without a sound...
Without emotion...

Eye don’t see
A rope to hold on to…
My hope for peace
Has drowned…


Details | Romanticism | |

The Widower

What is there too say now?
What is there to do this evening?
Nothing for I am without you,
I remember you, when my eyes first looked upon your brow and beautious eyes,
Your luxurious features and a heart of gold and platnium,
I am lost in a garden of cluelessness, and lost and forgotten.

My heart aches and shivers in the lone days of the mid December evenings,
You are gone and lost without a single trace,
But soon I had lost you for good and could never find you again,
I buried you in the gardens of the dead,
and the tears from my broken heart showered your grave.

Oh now I wish you were here,
To listen to my heart,
For it is out of tune and the orchestra is playing a slow melody,
and the chimes ring me to the dinner table,
To eat alone the lonely supper for the mourning of my woman.

So I eat alone tonight,
The house is quiet and empty,
The butlers and maids have gone home,
Nothing but lone, empty halls,
Once filled with love and music,
keep me company.

The slow music plays in my study,
I sit in my red chair,
I cry and cry again,
I read a book of poetry and think of you,
Not a life worth living without you.


Details | Pastoral | |

The Last Hour of the Christ

I wear the crown of hatred
misunderstanding and despair upon my hair
upon my back a wooden cross I bare
I know not why I’m hated so
all the people seemed to love me just a week ago

my skin is cut from head to toe
from whips of leather by men who wish to see me die
I spoke the truth for all the people to understand
my words of truth where words to set man free
from degradation hate and hell to live in harmony
for the rest of history

I cured the sick and healed the blind
with the touch of my own hand
I’ve walked on water and walked on sand
to preach and bring my truth through out the land 

people came from all around 
and would sit for hours upon the ground
I once had twelve good men who followed me around
now there’s only eleven one man let me down

my words have been mistaken
my God he has forsaken 
for that my life they’re taken
I believe that I have failed 
as my hands and feet are nailed upon this wooden cross
as they raise me in the air
all their sins I know I must bare

I want to scream not fair not fair
I’m just a young man I only wanted to teach
there are so many more people that I wanted to reach
my age is only thirty three
I pray my God
that they the people will remember me

written by Dennis H. Davis 
This poem was written from the human aspect of Jesus Christ. I wrote this poem with no effort what so ever it was as though it was being told to me. I watched my hand move across the page with a purpose a message I believe Jesus wanted this poem written.


Details | Free verse | |

Final Hour

The final hour has finally come, 
All too slow.
I wish it didn’t have to be this way in a room of white and blue, 
Connected to machines so they know the time has arrived.
Everyday has been painful but not today.
I don’t feel the unforgettable pain of my insides failing one at a time.
They said the test would help.
They would cure.
But they lied, I’ve learned never to believe the one’s wearing white.
All the test did was worsen me, hair falling pass my eyes to the ground below,
And I could nothing but wait for my final hour.
I could only listen to the whispers of grief from those around.
Why do you stand around and watch me shrivel away!
Why is it all you do is hurt me, make me cry! 
Why! Please tell me why I have to go, I’m young I don’t want to go!
But my pain is slowly leaving me, no strength left to fight.
My body slowly flowing with happiness. 
I see old family waving and I relies my hour is up.
My hour is up as the line runs straight for all to know


Details | Free verse | |

The Black Abyss

Sinking in deeper,
No way to escape,
The dark and scary Reaper,
Fore told in the Book of Life.

Is this my end?
Will I ever see the light of day again?
No. My wounds, I must mend.
I must find my strength.

Stand my ground,
Face my fears.
Only then will my voice be found
I must survive.

Break the suffocating chains,
Run from the darkness.
Power will fill my veins.
I will Fight!

Fight the painful names,
The horrid memories,
The demented games 
And escape My Black Abyss.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Truth That Was Hidden

I'm  sitting here in this room,
thinking to myself about the past.
How I had bloom...
though, it didn't last.

God, everyday I am lying.
Everyday I put on my mask.
I always end up crying
since no one dares to ask.

I stopped talking to my friends,
cut them all loose.
For this is the end,
and we all knew I would lose.

Everyone around me thinks I'm better.
since all they see are lies.
They should know better!
Even though I'm in disguise.

I put on my fake smile
and laugh along with everyone around me.
I think everyone is in denial
since they can't obviously see

They act like nothing happened.
like... I faked the whole incident.
They honestly don't know what happened,
or why I caused that incident.

They believe that I was never "broken"
just that I wanted attention.
I should have never spoken
and give them my full attention.

No one knows I've been skipping my pills,
everyone thinks I take them.
Maybe I'm saving them for the kill?
Who knows what I plan to do with them.

I throw up everyday,
only because I've grown used to it.
No one understands my ways
or why I keep quiet.

Sometimes, when I'm alone
and I see something I could use to harm myself.
I check to make sure I'm on my own
and start to look at myself.

First, I cry...because I oh so much hate my body.
Then, I hurt myself.
Proving that I am nobody.
and since I'm alone, and with no one else

I continue doing this 
until I see a drop of blood,
then it feels like bliss.
I continue sometimes, craving the blood.

Then when it gets too much,
I sit down
thinking... no one knows I do such
if they did...would they let me drown?

I bet they would.
Since everyone I have come to love, 
leaves me..just like they should.
because I'm nothing from above.

You might think I'm a blessing.
ha, I'm a curse.
I bet you were messing,
and just tried to keep it from getting worse.

but let me get this straight,
nothing you say or do,
will get me to leave this gate.
For this gate is where I was left to

be on my own.
to forget about help.
I was always alone,
never having anyone's help.

Just let me be,
I don't need your sympathy.
Can't you see?
It doesn't matter to me!

I'd rather have everyone hate me
than have you all pretend
because believe it or not, I can see
through all your acts that should come to an end.

You aren't my friend,
so leave me now.
This my end,
you mustn't know how.

I will write back soon,
for this is my only comfort.
I only shall come at the time of the moon,
for that is my hour of comfort.


Details | Sonnet | |

LETTER TO A SORE BROTHER BEAUTIFUL SISTER DEDICATED TO MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS LOVE

LETTER TO A SORE BROTHER, BEAUTIFUL SISTER (DEDICATED TO MY BROTHER’S AND SISTER’S LOVE)
 Early jungle makes me a desire
To be alone in the belly of our dear beautiful mother
Because our growing up is such and irony
Which made me rejoiced each moment this time
That wishes were never allowed to be rose
For men of wrong mind to buy
There in my childhood irony moment
We fought as if it is created share hatred
We wish for all except one that pays a little pain
For i held back from all
As all held back from me and other all
Indeed, people taught that our life is a share pain
A sore injury to the world of love
Because i loved each moment my brother bleed from our father’s hell
I went behind the scene to celebrate my goal
kindly, the moment is always become
As i happily shun and damn the future
... who did you think you are with my future
I sometimes ignorantly murmur as a child
In my little kingdom emptiness, i rejoice in the brothers pain
A little hatred of thee, a more love of me
I love each time i am loved alone
To hate thee by my blood and cause sheepishly i became and honour
As this irony grows into something still ironic
I wish my pain could allow my pen speak plain
To cry such an awesome deep and sore blood
At each moment the rain of thee bath me thoroughly
To see thee share all to have me clothed
To borrow from the enemy to have me homed
even to lose all from the gods to make sure that i have all from the goddess
The brother even stole to have me meal
More like the blood and doing of the mother, it shared abroad
As brothers all lie to have me protected
 Much illiterate to make me the literate king
Oh bleed me death less i say this pain of love
Sisters risk of the night, the horror evil men to see a smile in this lips of mine
That i wish never remember the selfish boyhoodness
Ay! How i see my brother’s cry in his desolation
Not for him or for his little joy
But for the pain of a dear brother
To save all only to loose all to life a brother
Its pain of the ugly moment in a close death
It was determined and death paid of thee
But the brother and sister’s coming death
Woke brothers will up, sisters ghost down
I need to save my brother
Leave my life to save my brother
And take it once his breath is back
There the sacrifice of a dear brother made me desire
Never a child as this in my next world
Because you are a brother, a beautiful brother
A sister, very handsome sister that i hold dearest to my breath
And love dearest to my heart beat


Details | Rhyme | |

IF YOU ONLY KNEW

If you only knew,what I go through,
living day by day,
then you would know,just what it was,
that made me feel this way.

If you only knew,how it was,
to feel you don't belong,
and try to figure out,just
when it went so wrong.

If you only knew,why I think,
the bad thoughts that I do,
then you would see,in my world,
and agree my life is through.

If you only knew,how close I am,
to giving up on life,then you
would feel,the pain I feel,from
the deeply piercing knife.

If you only knew,the plan I have,
and will finally be at peace,
for it's the only way,that I can see,
for all my pain to cease.


                                                                          Colleen Marie Bono
                                                                          September,21,2012


Details | Lyric | |

Song of the Raped Virgin

Yet…
Life shows you pain before the smiles
Even though youth has cried for innocence:
Outside the soul one bleeds and hides,
Inside the flesh one dies of nonsense.
When turning pages you see humble hopes:
The book of your life is already ended,
The sea you paint is without boats,
The land you plant is thoroughly cursed.
O, that you wish,
Steps away from you are!
The garden you live in is a grave where to be burned;
And dark shades in your eyes made the night of no star-
To fade out is a grace for those scars you have earned!
And perish all alone…
Like the fresh air in the cold,
Like an old tree the day of thirst,
Or a martyr when to burst…
That shame of your birth must be the same when to hold-
Those lies you tell:
As you are not only the first…


Details | Verse | |

The Lost Child

The child lost
Wanders round
In the man of body
Without a growing understanding
Except the hand on gun
Loaded up with silent frustrations
Until the empty’s numb


Details | I do not know? | |

AFGHANASTAN WINTER

         AFGHANASTAN  WINTER
The freeze has brought them to a winters' night
they've made themselves, forgetting what is right,
and they can see their children cry
but not a one will reason why,
nor think upon enough to see the light.

There's no repent for killing as it's done
and no resistance to it going on,
just hate on hate that only grows,
the hint of peace that never shows,
with lots of blame, enough for everyone.

And to this chaos, we have paved the way
for men of opportunity to play
and build their fortunes from it all
while winter makes its frigid call,
and brings another dark and longest day.

The heros are not known, til dies are cast
til all has slipped away into the past,
and truth is what a baby hears
but laid to rest in later years,
and right is not defined until the last.
© ron wilson the Doylestown Poet


Details | Prose Poetry | |

An Affair with Death

I knew I was gone when I went into the sleep..
There was no guilt or pain insight..
I’ve never had an affair of the heart.. of mind, body and soul..
The comfort I felt was beyond words from my mind...
And I was destined to fall under his spell...
The fire I felt on my skin began to rage..
 I became like an animal in a cage..
Every time I drew back, he pushed me forward..
I could feel his arms embrace me like no other,
His strength overpowered me and breathing became a necessity..
I gasped each time we danced the dance..
I could feel life’s breath leaving my body..
As he held me tighter and tighter..
I have never known such ecstasy as I drew each breath as the last..
Don’t know why I gave in so easy, temptation is not one of my virtues..
I’ve always weighed the pro’s and cons..
Who is this man of many tricks that I would succumb to him ?
I am smarter than this I thought in one lucid moment..
Be gone I said.. leave me alone I do not want to follow you..
All you want is my soul... and I am not ready...
When I am I will call you....

PS. This was a recent experience I had in the ICU...



Details | Free verse | |

The Tidal Wave

The Tidal Wave

I saw a tidal wave come in,
Raging winds and fierce water
Rushed,
Took the houses, cars, trees,
Street signs, park benches,
Pictures of loved ones
(Poor baby Louie, 3 years old washed away)
And along with all the power
It tore my heart out of my cage
And swept it out to the 
Endless seas,
And the great white sharks
Have their way with my heart.

Now bleeding and dying,
Pain follows me,
And I close my eyes,
And wish it all to be done.
Pray for me, I want pain no more.
See tears fall from the corners of my eyes,
As I breathe in and feel no heartbeat.
And they all look at me,
Faces of nomads and they snicker
At me,
I hang my head and cry tears,
But the tears were washed
Away in the tidal wave,
So I sit there,
Eyes closed
And I sleep the night away.

-10/2/2013-


Details | Rhyme | |

EYE Don't See -Part 2-

My eyes
Refuse to see tragedy
My eyes
Marinate in dread…unable to embrace ecstasy 

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s sagging…from endless mourning  
And I’m close to my demise… 
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?

You don’t see 
What damage you’ve done
Just let me be
Leave me alone…hand me a gun

I yearn for unspoiled glory
To make me feel perfect once more
I yearn for flawless serenity
To make me feel no regret…don’t ignore
My calls…don’t hang up on me

You don’t see 
What damage you’ve done
Just hear my plea
Listen to my excruciating cries…
Listen to the truth, not the malicious lies  
Our journey has just begun   

And I’m left in my solitude…
Do you hear me weeping?
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…
When will peace draw near?

Eye can’t handle the stress
Let me release my horrendous distress
Eye can see you making that same mistake
At least MY life isn’t at stake

And I’m left in my solitude…
My eye’s weeping…do You feel my lament
And I’m close to my demise…
Only to find myself disappear…Stepped on like cement
I’m aching with discontent… I abhor this torment    
When will peace scrub off my fear?

I can’t believe my eyes
Your guiltiness flows into me…
I can’t believe I fell for your lies
Your heartless action rape my mind…you don’t see
What my EYES see…

You’ll never see 
How much pressure you put me under
Unchain me from this chamber
And watch me flee…

When will you be set free?


Details | I do not know? | |

Charon's obol

In the shadow, behind the tree, 
on the meadow, bend your knee,
down the valley, up the stream, flat bedrock,
hear me scream, bellow the heavens, toward hell,
dark tunnel, wishing well; fellow traveler listen well,
no chance given, could you tell, 
on a knife-edge, head or tail?


Details | Free verse | |

Dark Wood of Error

Hounds of perdition hold their course
Torment dripping from their fangs
Hypersonic howls of the chase
Dance around the broken halls
 
Rage of the damned swirls around
I am out of their grasp
Pleading eyes blind me to their wrath
Cold hands brush my shoulders
 
Denied Providence
All of us forgotten
Our loved ones cannot know
We eat each other instead
 
Shrugging reality and cursing fates
Denial is a sharp tool
Our minds would shatter at the contemplation
Cold realization that we cannot be loved below
 
By what twisted luck
Am I to wander?
Shivering naked and skeleton thin
Curved necks vex the black skies
 
Toil and torment; plague and dismay
Who boldly gave us life
Built us up with dreams
To only be torn so low
 
I alone must escape the trodden path
Envious souls curse my name
Pouring on their sneering gaze
As my escape hastens
 
Hounds of perdition
Dogs of a ruthless master
Sinews and rotten muscles pulsing
Barren heels feel their heat
 
Unchained and unfettered
Pursing the end of loneliness
Images of a warm hand caressing
Fuel for my run
 
To be held again
Comforting sounds and placations
Bitter reminders of the living platitudes
Fear spurns in my emaciated form
 
Across the dark wood of error
Burled trees scraping my legs
Cacophony of snarling howls
Grinning fangs burrow at my back
 
Ahead through the black mist
Shimmering light calls me forward
I feel the echo of warmth once more
Frozen tears etch my face
 
There can be no escape
Fate is infinite and unmoving
Trapped by the hounds
Relentless in their goal
 
Gnarled branches overhang
Reaching to find safety
The barren tree is to be my home
Empty limbs far above the hounds
 
Trapped between the worlds
In the dark wood of error
Echoing the heat of Providence and the moans of the damned
Watching the hounds circle…circle…circle


Details | I do not know? | |

AND THEN I REMEMBER

I wake up in the middle of the night, and reach out to touch you but you are not 
there
 And then I remember, 
The pain returns as quickly as an express train racing out of a tunnel
A quite cry escapes my lips a silent tear my eyes
 I will sleep no more tonight
In the morning I stumble out of bed, not thinking I call your name
And then I remember
I go to the bathroom, no more the clean order of a woman’s touch
But instead the chaotic disorder of the single man
And then I remember 
At breakfast I automatically set two cups, milk in both, sweetener in one
And then I remember
For you it’s just another day but for me it’s as if I am trapped in a time warp 
I eat my breakfast as if in a trance 
And I taste nothing, 
I drink my tea and stare out of the window
But I see nothing
 Except in the deepest corners of my mind
You are still hear with me 
I can see your face and I can smell you perfume
Your laughter fills my heart with joy
 And once again I look into your beautiful brown eyes
And I see again the great love and a deep passion in your soul
I reach out my hand to touch your cheek
My fingers brush your dark silken hair 
You speak my name
Suddenly I feel your soft touch on my arm 
And suddenly I am back and you are gone, 
And then I remember  
    I must pull myself together
 I must try to go on
They say time heels, they say the pain will subside
They say stop thinking of yourself
Think of your child
Words are cheap when you don’t have to pay 
And then I remember
She looks deep into my eyes, and I see her mother’s love
 I see her mother’s passion for life
I reach out and touch her dark silken hair;
 And then she speaks my name,
And then I remember 
Please god let me forget, just for a moment
Just for a while
Just let my child once again see me smile
 


Details | Narrative | |

Death's Kiss

A cold dark night, whispers muttered, I fought for light, and then I uttered,
"Awake me from this nightmare, a black haunting I CANNOT BARE!"
opened my eyes jumped out of my bed, caught my breath, and nodded my head, only a dream,
then I said.

There need not be another that night so I stayed awake in fright,
in fright of that dream, that unbearable thought.

Then as I laid, eyes heavy and weary, so did I fade, into midnight dreary.
When suddenly I felt a presence of pain
a presence of evil, fear, and vain.

Onto the floor then came a drift, and with it fog and ice did sift.

"WHO GOES THERE!" I shouted, to which I doubted my feeble legs as I stood to the floor.
"It is I, Death."
Confused and confounded, I looked into the dark that surrounded, and quite astounded I saw
a monster appear
and to much of my dismay, its finger pointed my way.
"What do you want?" said I in fear "You." said monster, coming near.
"But so young am I" i did reply "Its an awful mistake, for you my life to take."

"Its no mistake, these I don't make." the creature did quake,
 
With wings of bone, scythe in one hand, he brought fear across the land
and still stood his finger, still at me it linger.
"NO!" I screamed and tried to flee, but move now I couldn't so quickly, for to my dismay
these legs did stay, a thousand pounds they did weigh.
"PLEASE, I BEG YOU, DO IMPLORE, I AM SO YOUNG AND LIFE I ADORE, YOU CANNOT TAKE ME, I NEED
NOT GO, PLEASE TELL ME WHY, THIS I MUST KNOW!"

So softly said death, in a single breath,
"No purpose is there, for death is not fair."
"You could be so young, but I do not care."
"And now you must bare what all will bare, Death's cold stare."
"But be not frightened, for with peace will you be enlightened. No more pain or sorrow,
this all I must borrow, until the morrow when all is no more."

His words like razors, cut through my heart
and with it peace, began to start.
For apart from the fear, the unsettled surprise
it dawned to me Death, had opened my eyes.
For life blistered my soul with a sore
that death would heal with its "No More"

"Ok" I said "Take life's pain from my head"
"Bring me peace, among the dead!"

And so quickly he came, and so quickly I went
and brought it no shame, and told it no hint
and with it he did, just as i was told
suddenly no pain, NO FEAR, NONE BEHOLD!
this all he did borrow until the morrow, when all is no more
and of it all i did hear, was just a faint hiss
then into the nothingness of abyss
did my peace come, with Death's Kiss.


Details | Free verse | |

awake from a dream

My hands loose
on the wheel
Darkness in sight
                The road invisible
lanes imaginery, 
conscious heavy

As the road ends 
so does my touch
                My skin bleeds as
my mind rises
A fury of sounds 
distort my screams
I struggle 
I fight



Helpless
I glide into the darkness
Begging and pleading...
Crying out to stay
As I vanish
into the night


Details | Free verse | |

Found

Time … to open
My eyes…
Time … to finally realize
I am the monster … glazed in guise
Time … to take responsibility
Of your slow demise
Of your haunting, screaming, aching unconditional agony
Time … has stopped
I am horrible
Hyperventilating, breaking…
Crying—smiling, faking 
Time … to see where the snake slithers tonight
Smirking in its venom of spite
To see myself crawl in its loosened skin
And become one with its kin
The slits of his eyes frighten me
But I welcome his sick visions
Who made these sticky decisions?
Time … to do something
To help you—to break me to pieces
I am the slime where you have broken through…so revolting
Time … to shake the sand away
To relieve the burning eyes from the blindness
Time to dip them in the cool water of action
Time …
To close up again
I wimper in the dark like a lost hound..

I am so afraid
Lost … but always found


Details | Ballad | |

Gone

Yesterday has slipped away
And only now I see
Just how sad the answers
To those questions asked can be

A hollow feeling in my heart
A pain inside so real
An empty space inside of me
That only you can fill

Even though you're gone from me
Still I’m holding on
To something that can never be
To something so far gone

People say that I'll forget 
That time will dry my tears
People say this pain inside
Will fade throughout the years

But everything we did
And every word that we did share
And every place we've been
Have left their shadows everywhere

Apart from you and I
Nobody else could ever know
Or ever understand
The part of me that can't let go

You were my love, my heart, my soul
You gave my life to me
And now I feel so lonely 
Saying 'I' instead of 'We

In a world of strangers
Here alone I stand
My promise of tomorrow
Gently slipped right through my hand

I close my eyes and feel you near
In dreams you're by my side
In every prayer I pray for you
In every tear I cry

Not only did I lose my love
I lost my best friend too
I lost my world, my heart, my soul
The day that I lost you

Although the road gets lonelier
And longer everyday
My memories of loving you
Will never fade away...


By Raina Hutchins



Details | Verse | |

Melancholy Memory

Her charming beauty
Upon my naked soul.
Threaded deep- sighted through
Her, no fault.

Our friendship- a bond
Our heart couldn’t resist.
Her soul, my soul, soon one
But not long.

Love we nurtured for
Three harvests, perished too
Soon- A signal that I
Am mortal.

The night of her death
Called me insane lover,
Who reared uncertainty,
Tears can’t wake.

Her caring, no more,
But her spirit lives on.
The words and love we shared
Stays amok.

Melancholy form of poetry (5/6/6/3 per line of five stanza) is adopted in this poem. The trailblazer of the form is Constance La France.

17/5/2013

For: Constance La France's "Melancholy Contest" 


Details | Elegy | |

FIRE ANNIHILATION

FIRE ANNIHILATION cruel cycles of hate in our wake heat intense with burning flame as fearful fire-fried mice bake what glowing embers sear souls to detonate, destroy and ruin a million charred bones now coals seething land grabbers launching death smouldering their selfish hate ablaze scorching into earths dark last breath infernal planets eternal despair baptises leaf-dead sky with flames now a sinister sad clothed last prayer Inspired and written for the victims and families of Air Malaysia MH17 & In protest of rocket launching where other innocent lives are being lost daily © Kim van Breda— 21 July 2014


Details | Epic | |

A New Collection to the Eye Forest

Crackling blood lies in these forest grounds
Grass growing by its lively effect…
Growing a grimace to the environment    
As the predators hung her on the branches,
carving her left eye on the oak tree
and carving her right eye on the olive tree

They grow livelier…
sucking up the carrions from off the ground
Drowning the vines that try to 
suffocate and remove them for life
left to be in history…unceasingly forgotten 

Now the forest has industrialized into an Eye Forest
Eyes protruding…extorting on the tree trunks
Liquefied by anguish…they had wished to escape
Their pupils punctured by arrows of death 
They grow more affectionate towards the lively soul… 
watching people suffer in indignity and disproof
Here’s that living evidence! Hidden proof!
 
Hunted by the worst predator out there
in the deepest of the forest

The eyes seem to stare into your own
Locked with your frightening vibes 
Feeling your dangling fears and pain 
Weeping them insane…
there is no one out there to be blamed,
even in the deepest of the forest

Oh you carrion heart, soul and body
you are accepted to the collection
and grow insanely and look into a world of reflection

You are one of those who lie in the midst of obscurity 
JUST wait till the day of Resurrection... 

Oh you carrion soul and body 
Surviving through the shadows of the forest, 
roaming along the compacted forest, 
moping about in displeasure 
because without a doubt 
you are a magnificent collection 
to the eye generation 
to look upon a cheerless, remorseful life,
Given away by the predator

They soon diminish the evidence…
Here’s that living evidence! Hidden proof!
You’re left for dead after all

Allow them to spread one of your eyes
on this tantalizing tree
Let them do their job as a hunter
Your awareness is diminished

Allow yourself to not be startled 
Lose yourself,
and later on, you’ll break free of pain and fear


Details | Blank verse | |

The Knowing

I know, you know
Everything in time has meaning.
I know, you know…

I know, you know
Every soul in life is fleeting
I know, you know…

I know, you know
The beauty of this world is leaving.
I know, you know…

I know, you know
Even words can cause a reaping.
I know, you know

I’ve seen the energy, pass this galaxy,
Before the dawn of even you and me. 
Just know this can be yours. 

I know the pain you’ve seen
And the screams of your tragedy. 
Just know my means will justify your sword.  

So let us fuse here, combine here, and die here never. 
So let us cry here, fight fear, feel the sear of pain together. 

And all you’ll need will be clear. 
All I will need is your blood near
And in your pen we’ll live forever. 

I know, you know
No one can ever give you what I am giving.
We know now, we know.


Details | Narrative | |

I Am A Ghost

I am the ghost that haunts these hallowed halls...
Her I shall remain inside these walls...
Until the grim reaper comes to call...
And my body falls.

When the pain is more than I can take...
With a pain so ravaging it can never be slaked...
I pray the Lord my soul to take...
Before my heart completely breaks.

If I should wake in the morning again...
I shall still be the ghost within...
These hallowed halls is where it did begin...
And I will haunt them until the end.

I am the invisible girl you will never meet...
Yet the ghost you can not see is always fooled by deceit...
But I shall not retreat...
Or admit defeat.

So when the sun rises in a cloudless sky,
The ghost will cry...
And I shall not go nigh...
I shall remain a ghost for the rest of my life.

MODPS


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Could Not Protect

Saturday I awoke from a long slumber.
My hair wet and smelling with sweat.
Palms are shaking if I had done something.
My memory does not let me pass a certain point.
I tried to grab my head, such pain.
I feel burning sensation in my arms and legs.
Grasping for breath and lagging it with panic.
So stressed, don't know what to do.
I do not remember a certain view.
I am strap down on a hospital bed.
On what condition should I be dead.
Laying not able to function.
I feel so grotesque.
Things are becoming dark once again.
Blur visions is like an escapade. 
Jolts being delivered through my brain.
Fear settles in and gives birth of loneliness.
Sounds of ungratefulness shuns my thinking.
I will not give up cause I am human.
With strength I can beat this.
Found beside dead bodies.
My own wife and daughter. 
Should I just fail to resist.
Did I do it with no smiling bliss.
What kind of sick torment is this.
My palms are getting sweaty again.
My vision seems to com back again.
Shocked about what happened.
I was found innocent. 
A women who was scared saw everything.
A strange shadow appeared be hind me.
Choking me till I was limp.
Beating sounds in my eardrums.
Screams that did not sound calm.
Vision disappeared as I hit the ground.
The doctors had to keep me strapped.
Just because I was in shock.
Losing everything that I cared about.
Feels like my own hand did it.
I could not protect them.
I feel my hand has blood in them.
Crouching to my knees when I fell.
Like a person who had a disease.
A disease that was fatal to my existence.
Letting my own family down so weak.
Freaking out with no sense of direction.
The disease I was talking about was fear.
Fear of being non-existing.
Crying with bloody eyes.
Back so pinched that it feels like pin needles.
Tearing my muscle apart just because. 
Scorning myself with bad luck.
Dark and gloomy my heart is done.
I am expose as a coward.
Weeping in side my soul is my two dear souls.
My dreams are going away.
My blame is creeping slowly eating my soul.
Keeping this memory is not what I want at all.
Doctor's have told me I'll recover.
Such non-sense I discovered.
I feel that the blood of my love ones are in my hand.
It really is hard to stand.
 




Details | I do not know? | |

Death

The cries in the night as you shed your tears, 
Nobody to console and hear your fears, 
The nightmares as the take control, 
Now I shall show you my other face,
Let the nightmares take your peace,
Let the damnation steal your joy,
There is nothing left for you
There was never anything here for you
Death is a note, thats beauty is black,
As the fire inside let it burn you alive,
Death is friend that will take your pain, 
Let your pain fester, and infect,
Do what you wish before I interject,
Death is brother who needs your love,
The Funeral Pyres burn your soul.
Welcome to world where damnation reigns,
We all will die someday,
And Death will one day rule us all, its inevitable why try to hide,
Never to be loved to never to love, Death is a note,
A note that rules you


Details | Free verse | |

Territory

Falling embers

Splintering lives and

Piercing memories

Rage begets rage.

Weeping mothers

Enraged brothers

Martyred fathers

Widowed sisters

Pushing ideologies

My way or no way

Twisted metal

Territorial markings

Of a beast.


Details | Free verse | |

A Prayer For Healing

Father,
Do not let me be the demon I have created me to be.
I am the product of myself and my negativity.
I trust You.
I love You.
I thank You.
In Your name,
We pray,
Amen.


Details | I do not know? | |

Suicide

Sitting in a corner all alone
No ones listening
No one knows 
The pain you feel
Or why you feel it
Not that anyone would believe it
"Your being overdramatic" they say
"Toughen up"
But you can't help 
The way you feel
For your pain
Is all to real

So to end the pain
You say goodbye
To the pain in your life 
To things that hurt you so
And to the people you will miss
It seems like a dream
One last motion, one last test
And then it's done
You finally did it
You relieved the pain
But you left behind your memories 
That will haunt me forever


Details | Haiku | |

Walking Through A Field Of Light

Walking Through A Field Of Light


then me and you see it the same way...i care not what happen to this body for the soul will still walk this earth watching over those it shown it love for

And yet the spirit of forgotten pain protects me, not wanting me to travel into the darkness that consumes the soul, for without this body, how can i protect those i love?

i watch and guide them for the body was lost but i shall lead them with a kind head and open arm. i protect their soul so they may keep watching there life grow into something beautiful.the darkness shall flee at the sight of the almighty light that watches my deed and my small soul

but for my last act shall be to vanquish the darkness that threatens life itself. but all things come to an end. what of the times, not yet past, but already forgotten, when i will no longer be there.....

when my fight is done i have no need for this unsettling place and with ever harming word will i walk into that everlasting light if i to be forgotten then that is fine for i have done them good and have made there life into something more then mine was.To be forgotten is fine for i shall not want a legacy

to have forged a life worth remembrance is fine, bu to make someones else worth remembering is all the better, for it means that they shall have a life worthy of my sacrifice, a life worth the pain once experienced, but never remembered, for i am now content.

after this body is lost i wish to be forgotten.to pay myself a gift is what is called.i will be content on not having left something a memory to be mourned for i with's no pain on those who have still they hearts where as i have walked this earth unknowing i died some time ago.let me be free for i am like a animal needing space time and needing that way of life.

then be free from the pain of the remembrance, and transcend to tomorrow, for that is where the future lies. i shall always remember you, but i shall not mourn, for we shall meet again


Details | Rhyme | |

SMOKING PRESSURE

waiting to be a part of the group,
just ending up at the tail of the joint.
bad habits gone wild;
broken promises and lies,
brooding and waiting that never dies.
built up bottles of pressures,
not too sure where it comes from.
complexity of self-denial complex!!!
roads ending up nowhere:
trials just trying your patience,
looking forward to the beginning,
but not the end........
still struggling after being broken,
or the pressures of not having experience.
redeemful of dim chaos,
so strange that this is not all because of this.
not to mention a loser so lost,
still trying to find life's meaning.
too bad the joy can't subside the hurt................


Details | Free verse | |

A Half Life or Radiocarbon Dating

When the carbon -14 is gone from your bones,
And nothing remains but a hull,
I’ll still hold your taste in my dry, empty jaw,
Having etched AHM in my skull
As the sun will not shine
And my heart will decay
No more will an N
Feel the sweet cosmic rays
Until all I can do is play along, quiet
As all that I say will be wrong, or defiant
Every chemical taken,
In hopes they might calm me,
Become but an agent,
To embalm and prolong the - wait
I can't wait for the times when I'll see you again,
Though, each time I'll be secretly flooded with pain
A Gala, Penelope, Laurie, a muse
And all of this, a cold fuse


Details | Free verse | |

One hour to die

One hour to live, one hour to die
One hour glass there, counting my time
Breathing becomes harder as I’m stuck in this box
Four walls around me; there’s no hole in this wall
Air becomes less, just because of this dress
What am I wearing? Why am I dressed as a doll?
Looked in the mirror; I look like a toy
Face filled with make up; heart filled with fright
There he comes, the evil, brutal beast
Coming to make me suffer; coming to take my life
He stabbed a spindle in my stomach
He stabbed a spindle in my heart
He stabbed and stabbed like if he’s hungry
Quenching his thirst with murder and blood
One hour to live, that hour is gone
An hour glass was counting; it just ran out of sand
There’s no point in trying, there’s no way to survive
There’s no reason to be joyful; there’s no reason to rejoice
There’s only pain within my heart
But relief shall come at the touch of death



By Julie Alcin


Details | Free verse | |

The Hawk

The Hawk flys overhead
soaring everlasting in circles
around the poor field mice.

six o'clock.

The Red Sun is now parrallel
to the treeline in the West.
Six o'clock
Dinnertime.
The hawk dives down, like a speeding bullet
and snatches up a small mouse, who was walking
along the corroded barbwire fence,
with his sharpe and dangerous talans.

Six o'clock. Feeding time.
A lover is now gone from the world of field mice,
Just like that.
With the turn of a hand on a clock
Six o'clock.
With the rumble of a Hawk's empty stomach
now a fellow mouse is gone. Forever.

Sad, isn't it?


Details | Blank verse | |

Veil

You have all gone to other worlds
Where rocks are able to become trees
And stones a field with flowers
Sighs have no echo
To be heard
On the other side
Through the veil of tears
Mother's arms
Carrying a newborn
In my grandparents yard
A chestnut-haired child
Playing with the rainbow
Father kissing a soldier
Ready for the war
''Your heart 's still beating''
They shouted
And left me
In a sharp deep silence


Details | Rhyme | |

The Water

Do not disturb the water
The man once said to me
for those who've tried are no more
Quite mysteriously

They spoke of love and life once lived
A place called home, where all was his

It all burnt away, he said with a tear
and all i'm left with is this empty fear

As you see my friend we've much in common
But theres once major difference
you're not in a coffin

So feel free to take a swim
Test the waters he said with a grin
for I see you know which way to go
Dont make me push you in


Details | Rhyme | |

bloody red roses part 2

     She lies in a pile of bloody red roses

She left a note to her folks  saying

" I cant go on im sorry"

      It didnt say why

But still we cry

      We are all very sad

some of us are mad

       none of us are glad

She'll b greatly missed

        To me she was like a sis

But when will the rumors stop

        Noone knows the truth not even the cops

My pain is great 

       I wish we hadnt been late

But when we got there 

        there she lay 

on her already made bed of

Bloody red roses


Details | Free verse | |

Beloved Friend I Have Fallen

An angel, cradles me, in her motherly arms
I have fallen, I am venerable 
I told myself, I would not do this, no more
I have failed to keep my promise, to you
I have not stayed true
Tears flowing, as I smile, just, for you!
Remembering the times, when you cupped my face, in your hands
Your blue eyes, gazing into mine
Telling me with sincerity
‘I am the sunshine, that lights up your world, each day that dawns’
My heart aches, it rains with love, having fond memories of us
Wash me clean, being human, is challenging me!
Emotional bondage, creating blocks
I need to move on, you are dead and buried
Your time here, over
My heart struggling, accepting this reality
“Forgive me”
I pray to be free!
“I Love you, my beloved, friend”


Details | Couplet | |

Small Seed

One and only, great sweet dream
Lullaby, my sun beam
Moonlight’s music, sky’s first kiss
Stars and magic, my one bliss
You’re just a little seed; you’ll grow into your skin
And be filled with love from both hearts within
You’re just a tiny seed deep within the soil
I only hope that you didn’t spoil
I dreamt that you grew as tall as a tree
I dreamt that you were always there with me
But dreams don’t always become true
And I have never got to be with you
You’re just a seed; you’ll grow up very strong
I only wish that I wasn’t wrong
You’re just a small lovely seed 
In four months you started to bleed
My one and only, hold me very tight
I only wish that everything was right
Lovely infant, dear young dream
Golden daylight, my sun beam
You are the reason that I will always cry
Why did you ever have to say goodbye?




Dying more than ever before
Every time I miss you more
A first child that wasn’t born
Dead, now all I do I mourn

Baby only four months old
A treasure I never got to hold
Big hole in my heart tonight
Yelling “Why didn’t you hold me tight?”


Details | Free verse | |

love hate love

i've been telling myself to stop
i've been trying hard to escape
i've been loving you all my life
but do you really care?

there's a  little piece of heaven, inside this hell with you
for only on those stolen moments 
i could say i own you. 
but it can't be like this forever
i can't always be a shock absorber.
i don't wanna feel empty again. 
everytime i come out of this little heaven..


i hate you.


Details | Lyric | |

Death Within

Blood flowing within
Deep inside of me
Solidifying

I clutch at my heart
Deep inside of me
It's tearing itself apart

Beating out its erratic rhythm
Can't take a full breath or it chooses to stop

Conspiracy of all that surrounds me
This constant stress is causing it to die

The rhythm that it once followed is long gone
Instead it chooses to beat every once in a while

When I laugh, cry or even think about what's coming
One painful beat later and I'm down, hardly breathing

The me that I once was is slowly slipping away
Hooked up to a wall and barely even living

The me that I once was is now made up of wires
Dripping support directly into what is killing me

The blood that had once flowed is now becoming solid
A salty red syrup in the tree that God named me

The God that put me here to live out my existence
Is recalling me, I'm obsolete

I can't give in
Or I'll depart
God damn this beast
Inside my heart

I can't give in
Or I'll depart
God damn this beast
Inside my heart


Details | Lyric | |

Kiss of Death

Kiss of Death

Can you see my pain now can you see why I'm so depressed do you understand how or what I'm feeling no because you have never asked cause you don't care oh it sucks being the youngest no what about the middle child or the misfit or the child everyone picks on what about them suicide is an option for them because they cannot win the game of life and neither can I I cant fight no longer I won't try I give up with everything in me I'm not worth it I'm the middle child the misfit the one everyone picks on I'd get treated better if I wasn't me if I was my sister or brother I'd get it all and they think they have it bad one day in my shoes would they understand the guilt I hold or the withdraw of being human I'm a monster I only dream of death I will love you with the kiss of death a place where I take you so you can feel my pain too nothing will help nothing will pass by me only in me I have no feelings no soul and no reason to live I'll kiss you with my sorrow and I'll be happy around you so you have to guess who I really am I'm not happy and I'm not warm I'm cold my heart is frozen not rhyming with time my brain no longer breathing no longer sending pulses to my organs the blood rushes from my vain out into the open unto the blue carpet I can only wish of death for the Satan inside to take me away to the lake of fire where I burn forever and eternity but will it solve my problems yes will it make you understand when I'm gone that I'm all you have left from this disaster no bands caused my deaths only the game of life did 


Details | Free verse | |

Aunt Dorothy Funeral

Aunt Dorothy Funeral
Written by Mel Brake

"And then, I will rise
nor more sorrow no more pain
and then I will rise when he calls my name.."

I thought about my nephew
at Aunt Dorothy's funeral
I wondered who would mourn for me
when I was loss

I watched as young people
ran out of the church
after viewing Aunt Dorothy's
white gold trimmed coffin

Who would be visibly
upset and be a fool for me

Besides the young do not
know how to handle the loss
of a loved one

My nephew called me
during her service
when I spoke to him
I thought he wanted something from me

But he said that he was calling me
because he remembered I was at the funeral

I  then broke down into a crying walk
I cried not for Aunt Dorothy

I cried for myself and my lost youth

I cried for my sister  because she lost her health
contracted Lupus in that same nursing home near the church 
Aunt Dorothy was eulogized in

I cried for my other sister who lost her mind
gave up her Baptist faith and  married a Jehovah Witness man
he was from that same neighborhood

I cried for my mother because she lost the love of her life
he would visit us in our home on 3850 Parrish street near the church
Aunt Dorothy was eulogized in

I cried for my big brother and  the lost  of our closeness
he worked in a machine shop in that same neighborhood  

He would take me downtown on the 40 bus
that still runs in that dilapidated neighborhood

I cried for the lost of $1000 that my other brother stole
Money that my mother and brother raised to send me
the first one in the family to go to college in that hell whole
of a neighborhood

I cried for the lost of my neighbor who was gay
and he had an operation to become a white woman
and married a white man who drove a Mercedes
But he moved out of that hell whole of a neighborhood

I cried for the young children who I befriended
who were lost themselves in that neighborhood
to drugs violence and prison and early childhood pregnancy

I cried for the older neighbors and friends who have also passed
I sat on the front porch and I would listen to the stories  they told about
how safe Philadelphia used to be when
 the neighborhoods looked after every child's safety

I cried and cried and cried
until I could not cry anymore
walking the streets of the neighborhood
that I grew up in what we called the Bottom

When I walked back to the church
the hearse had moved on with Aunt Dorothy
the family was gone
and the church doors were locked

I thought about Aunt Dorothy
and the passing of the torch
She was the matriarchy of the family and the Mother of the Church
what was her parting words and legacy
we suffered a great loss

Then she as an ancestor spoke

“If you loved me
keep my commandments”

“Love thy neighborhood and thy enemy
as you would love thyself”.






Details | Free verse | |

While You Were Sleeping

While you were sleeping so peaceful 
An angel took you away
He said your life on earth 
Had reached its final day
The pain that you did suffer 
Will harm you never again
And though my heart does understand
My mind can’t comprehend

Each day I watched you suffer
Yet still you chose to pray 
Thanking God for grace and love
To live just one more day
How could a God ignore the plea
Of a soul he calls his own
Something I do not understand
For my flesh still wants you home

Today we return you to the ground
Your face I’ll see no more
I still do not understand 
But will not cry and moan
I know God’s will is perfect
And I am glad your pain is gone
While you were sleeping peaceful
An angel took you home


Details | Free verse | |

The Casualty

The officer’s whistle opened the door,
the pain of mortar did greet the damned
and I did nap with death in no man’s land.

In cold of night the stretcher did wake
 from peace to hell and burning pain.
These eyes will see the stars no more,
no comrades smile for me.
The darkness has won
for light has abandoned me
and my face is for others to see.

Am I alive? The pain agrees,
my hand can feel this fevered brow.
What will home think?
to only half a man
and will England still respect this man?

The sound of an angel, who talks with God,
a poor soul for sale,
could that be me?
And God condemns 
that I am not worthy,
for others deserve better
than half of me.

And in my darkness 
Opium’s womb enters my veins
the pain chased away by foetal claim,
while the music of war in shrapnel fragment
screams a tortured lament.
And youth will queue to die in vain
 among the ranks of nightingales reign.

These deities who tend this holy fodder
 grow distant with bloody rags.
My mind feels the heat of shrapnel’s breath,
the thought of box in foreign field
the feel of sun and breeze denied
and claustrophobia feeds my fear.
Lonely is the grave with no goodbye
and I do not want to die.

But god is my surgeon and he is beat,
the angel will deliver mercy
 and death will get his degree.

For compassion was hers to give,
the touch of her hand
will wipe this brow.
The cold of the scissors will cut the tag
and I will join a corpse’s march
obeying the ghost of captains orders
uniting friend and foe in melting borders.

In death I will believe
and hope will leave this earth with me.
My reward is tempered by sword and cross
 epitaph is poured over another loss.
And country prepares to count the cost

The drone of the letter
this paper of man
typed in halls by Vatican whores,
delivering their knock on mother’s door.

This pain of England’s son
 will lie in empty bed,
 silence will be hers to see.
A candle for me in winter’s light
but death will play in mother’s night.

Her tears will wash this wooden cross,
the house will cry for little boy lost
and the dog will sit with eye on door,
never to wag his tail no more.




Details | Free verse | |

The Journey

From time immemorial your story began
A hundred, a thousand, a million years and more
Your story past written a character just one
The tale of you bleeds into all

Each story unique while pieces the same
Today, tomorrow, millennia expended and gone
Your story continues passed first to no last
The tale of you bleeds into all

Through love and hate, laughter and death
Minutes and seconds grew to decades and days
The story being written you wrote each day
The tale of you bleeds into all

Memories endure through dream and remembrance
Yesterday is gone but tomorrow you live on
Your story yet written a character more than one
The tale of you bleeds into all

Your stories the fires shall never consume
A past, a future, a present goes on
The story you wrote lives forever in your love
The tale of you bleeds into all


Details | ABC | |

No more Tears

     Hush now my 
dear no more tears 
shall fall, what once 
was, is no more, so 
hush now no more 
tears.
 Take my hand don’t 
look back, it’s time 
to heal and let him 
fade ,hush now no 
more tears his love 
for you forgotten, 
yes your biggest 
fear , come with me 
I can set your pain 
free ,it’s up to you 
and me he will no 
longer be , so hush 
my dear no more 
tears your heart 
goes black for all 
that you have done, 
what once was is 
done, take my hand 
don’t be scared let 
me set you free, 
look into my eyes 
give me all your 
sadness and fears, 
hush now you 
scared soul lay back 
let me take control, 
stop fighting and 
crying for he has 
moved on time to 
let  one last tear set 
you free, hush my 
dear there goes the 
last tear this will 
only burn  for a 
minute, then my 
broken girl you will 
be set free, you look 
at me with fear your 
heart begins to fade, 
follow the light my 
child it’s time to 
fade away, your 
blood drips down 
the table I can hear 
the cries poor out, 
they fill the room 
with fire as your 
body goes numb 
your mind begins to 
slip away, hush my 
dear there goes 
your tears, the pain 
is gone and so are 
you.
 They all gather to 
shed their tears over 
you as they say 
goodbye, in a 
whisper through the 
air they hear your 
voice say hush my 
loves don’t cry I will 
always be hear, as 
the years go by  
your children hold 
you close, the man 
you broke still 
remembers  the 
days he held you , 
as his day comes to 
a long lived end he 
takes on last breath 
and hears you say, 
hush hush my love 
it will be okay take 
my hand I will show 
you the way, now 
your time is endless, 
no more grey ,your 
hearts are warm the 
tears no more, you 
walk away as 
one ,never looking 
back hush my dear 
your safe now let us 
disappear.


Details | Free verse | |

Oh Well, Oh Well

I’m tired in this drop
The walls are all the same
I’m soaked now

In the midst of deteriorating
It hurts more than normal
I think it’s broken

The light up top is gone now
Just like the one down here
Oh well…  oh well.

The love inside the teardrops
Has turned to the coldest rain
Now there’s just the pain

It’s settled in my chest
Eating at my insides
Feeding at the dead lives

The end will not come quickly 
Not even quietly
For now, I just sigh at thee


Details | I do not know? | |

Voodoo Spell

My best mate went to see a voodoo Dr
he wished upon a voodoo spell
i went to the cemetery to visit his grave
i was searching high and low until
i found my mates head stone
i smoked a joint and blew the frost 
off a couple of cold ones.
I dug up my mates grave only to find
it was filled with filthy worms and decaying
human flesh.
I sat back blew a joint i heard my mate say
don't stand over my grave and weep
i am not their.
I looked up and saw my mate looking like a
zombie what a mess
i always knew he had a thing for sweet
smelling blood. 
But this was over the top my mate had no
life in his eyes  i touch his skin it was ice cold.
I believe he sold his soul.
will my mate be walking the earth forever ?
like a vampire or feasting on the bones of the dead?
Beware of voodoo spells


Details | I do not know? | |

Living Dead Girl pt1

She lives in misery,
She goes to school where she gets bullied, pushed around, and called names,
Her parents hate her,
She has no friends, and her whole world is dark,
No one likes her,
Sometimes she wonders if anyone would care if she killed herself.
She cries herself to sleep,
A lost soul,
The one who relies on her bands and music to carry her through,
The one who grabs the razor blade,
She cuts fast, deep, and hard,
She likes the cold metal, she likes the blood that comes down,
She likes that burning feel, she loves the relief,
Many people call her a little emo *****,
All she wants is for people to leave her alone.
Many people says she does this for attention,
But all she wants is to be happy,
She thinks maybe if she ends it all,
Everyone would be happy, and live in peace,
She thinks they would never know she was gone.
She walks home from school on a rainy Tuesday afternoon,
She goes through the door, 
Right up those steps,
She takes the pills and blade out.
She takes all sixty pills of Oxycotton,
And then she starts cutting, first just across her wrist, and then she had a twist,
She painted a picture onw wouldn't surely miss,
She wrote on her arm, "All I wanted was love."
Her mother found her first,
She cried so much,
Her father came in and comforted her mum,
No tears he had shed,
Her brother came in next and fell to his knees,
He saw all the blood and knew something was up,
He asks their mum,
"Mummy why isn't sissy breathing and blood everywhere?"
She replied faintly,
"Dear, your sister was unhappy."
He was much too young to understand.
The girls that bullied you now get bullied, 
That boy that never admitted to liking you cuts and cries,
Your exfriend cries and tries committing suicide,
Your teachers try to hold it together, but lose it,
Your brother grew older and found the truth about his older sister.
The one he loved so much, and wanted to be like her,
All the pain she endured.
He found her iPod,
He takes it with him everywhere,
He remembers his sister and the bands she loved,
And now he loves them,
He cuts to rid the pain,
He only wants to be with her again.
But he carries out her legacy everyday,
Knowing that is what she would want him to do,
And he did this all thanks to her.
She's tried to stop him,
Was beside him while he cut,
Tried pushing the blade away,
She's a living dead girl,
Nothing she could do nor say, 
To make him put that blade away.


Details | Lyric | |

From the heart of society

Theres a girl 
she pours out her heart 
gives him everything
changes her hair goes to get 
fat sucked out of her cause no 
one tells her that she really is 
beautiful she goes home to see him in bed
kissing another girl, then get up and smack her around
people ask where she got her brusies and why she hides her face
but behinde that mask hideing her scars is a girl fearing for her life 
scared to go home to that man that just might give her more scars.
Theres a guy 
who takes care of his brother
comes home and covers his brothers ears 
while his mommy and daddy make him fear
fear for his life his mom brings home different guys 
every night, daddy is never home but when he is 
they fear for  there life that just maybe that might be the last day 
the last breath they live to take
Next day he comes home and sees mommy on the floor bleedin 
his little brother tied to the bed stabed in he chest 
he tries to run but trips and falls
three week later the found him floating down the river..
These are the  people we ignore every day 
the ones that cry out for help
 the ones that need us the most..
The ones that are pimped out and dont see there beauty
 the ones that hide the scars that the one they love put on there face
This is our world and society today


Details | Imagism | |

The Unseen Saw

The thief of Acrona, I lied,
Robbing tourists and escaping plight...
The inevitable magic in my eyes,
Was spotted in the princess' eyes,
The land beneath her legs moved,
The time instantly passed and on the royal bed, we droft...
Kissing her perfect bosom,
I laughed, in the gloom,
Then I had got her lip caught,
And the voices of love,
The ears of consierge caught!
He then broke the wooden door and came in,
Looked my face angrily and held my chin...
Dragged naked to the gallows by the king's command,
Hands and legs tied, pulled by the heel with the face kissing the sand...
Legs mine, half stretched, tied by the log,
I looked at her and heard her sob...
And when the execution begun,
My face covered with a thick lenin, hidden...
Some pins of random order touched between my nude thighs,
I could not look at the ground nor the skies...
Four leather legs I could smell,
Covered with mire and the saw begun to dwell...
I felt the saw cutting me for the following hours,
Then my soul kicked itself out my body,
Where the crowd look at my parted body and whispered ''gross''.


Details | Prose Poetry | |

Creation, Curse and Promise

Since eternity past God the Father Son & Holy Spirit dwelled in unity and sweet fellowship.
Then Three-In-One decided to make a marvelous universe with an earth for life to dwell.
Creating an amazing array of creatures was the easy part – the risk was on the last made.
For unlike other creatures, man & woman were made in God's likeness with a Spirit.

That Spirit communicated with God, and harmony reigned as earth was well cared for.
Freedom to do was great – limited by but one tree that the humans were not to ear from.
At that tree, Satan disguised himself as an innocent snake and asked the woman questions.
Did God really say don't eat from this tree?  Well, that's to keep you from becoming like Him.

Look its fruit is beautiful and one bite and you'll know what God does and be Jehovah's equal.
Eve was confused, for this didn't sound like what Adam said God told her, but wouldn't it be grand.
If God is so good, why would he keep this secret from us of being able to be like Him – is He jealous?
The firm, juicy fruit was indeed delicious, and she quickly called Adam to taste, which soon he did.

A small act? Every war, family problem, anger, hatred, lie, killing, stealing, rape, abuse came herefrom.
The beauty of God's creation was now marred with sin that affected every part with death and decay.
God graciously gave Adam & Eve animal skins for no longer would they live in Eden's perfect climate.
From now on there would be sweat for the food they ate and exceedingly great pain during childbirth.
Even their firstborn would murder their second, starting the cycle of revenge and killing that's ongoing.

Yet God also made a promise that one would come who would crush Satan's head while being bruised.
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God" clues us in to who.
For God's Son Himself would come to teach, heal and offer His life on a Cross to destroy our death curse.
Our sins He would bear and in rising He's seal the promise of eternal life, so great we Jesus' love for us.

For Jesus the cost was unbelievably high, and for us the reward is incredibly great – if we but accept.
Accept that I am a sinner, I've done wrong and need God's forgiveness to live with His perfection.
Accept that Jesus can do what I cannot – change my heart, make my Spirit alive to forever live with God.
This being GOD, the promise of heaven and new earth is sure, though pain lies in between.  Choose now.

For GOD and all creation cry out – this is what life is meant for – to know and love One's Maker.
As humans we live eternally with or apart from God, and His great desire is that we choose with.
But just as an earthly Father cannot force true love, nor does our Heavenly Father – He waits.
Though He made all and knows beginning from end, he waits and yearns that we receive His love.

Then love and be loved by Jesus in life's harshness & delight, sharing that love with other lost children
To work in harmony with the One who made us, makes life new again as our spirit is filled with new life.
There can be dry days when we don't feel His presence, and others so full that we want to shout for joy.
The fact is Our Father GOD, our Savior Jesus, the Holy Spirit, are always with us and never will leave us. Amen.


Details | Personification | |

my sun

..........Smile forged with tears and sorrow
          was all I could feel
          i felt the pain on my rips
          as my breath start to break
          the say its a heart break
          I think is a death call
          like a gun short on the four head
          as I stood on the four front
          cautioned with flame of fire
          that burns directly the heart
          Slowly I break down
          as the pain speeds up
          all I could see is yonder
          yonder stranding forth s it's hand
          calling me down to under world
          fighting it was the next option
          Strength far away from me
          water run down the bridges
          I don't want the call,not now
          the sun sets up fear to the skin
          now dishing out death to the soul
          she is the light to my life
          
..........Could she be my doom?....................


Details | Free verse | |

Edifices of time

Edifices of time.


Edifices of sculptured beauty – 
Filled with Angels song 

Harmonious sounds that fill 
Earth’s crumbling corridors-

Like the sands of time-
That falls through life's hourglass, 

Mere shadows - of life’s eternal beauty-
Etched in pain - is a world’s agony- 

A broken heart - pain like nails  
That pierces Holy hands 

On Death’s wooden blood stained door
The rose of Sharon declares His everlasting love 

Beyond this crimson wooden cross of human suffering 
Lies the corridor of hope 

And eternal glory - Above 
Just beyond the grave.

 


© Brenda V Northeast   8 Feb. 2009 


Details | Rhyme | |

The Night Dad Died

There are those moments that stay with us forever
stuck in time, we will forget them never

The night I picked up the phone, it was late
how could this be his fate?

I drove and on my way I got a flat tire
this seemed a cruel and divinely planned satire

The tow truck man could not remove the lug nuts
Almost midnight now and I thought he was a putz

When mom's door opened there were swollen eyes
I was the strong one to my surprise

We made the plans and bought the box
I look back now and know I was still in shock

My hair came out in clumps as I showered
Being strong and holding it in was not making me feel empowered

Then about three months later it hit me like a wall
my father was gone, I would not see him at all

I had not cried at all until that day
It seemed I could not stop now to my dismay

My words of wisdom to pass on to you my friend
Tell those you love how you feel every now and again.


Details | Blank verse | |

Alone With No Sense Of Direction

I am a lost person, but I am not alone.
I make choices in my life and I choose to let go.
I need a change of space, and my lyrical notes,
The beauty and the face should fade, but more I want to grow.
The nobility in life is sad, when madness is a nuisance and insanity a fad.
I have some regrets, some I can't forget,
but If I can't forgive myself, then who will forgive my sins?
I'll give it my all, and pray I win.
I'll keep my heart locked and throw away the key,
never let anyone inside, so I can remain free.
Can I question a higher power, or would I be dead,
The scum of the earth, creating poetry that is read,
by the mindless masses, blaming the heart to death,
I hope this will heal me, burning the past, 
The beauty in the innocence, never really lasts.
I have a feeling tonight will open my eyes, 
and guide me too the light instead of lies.
I'm praying to god that you are how I think you are,
because I need compassion, not just a broken heart.
I don't know why I like you, but you seem to close to part.
Please don't leave me here, surrounded in the dark.


Details | Clerihew | |

IN THIS ACT OF PAIN, I TAKE MY VENGENCE

Beyond the illusion of skin and polite talk a shadow dwells within me, whispering unto me my deepest ugly thoughts, my secret sins, my foul intentions and slowly devouring the goodness in me.

it draws its filth from my chosen path smearing it with deceit.

The stains of the fear of having to lose an anticipated love

loathing those you remember with hate and those whose care for you is bare,

an anger driven by a hunger to care, to feel, to live.

This pain that I alone understand and cherish is master

luring me with an apparition of a budding flower, a beautiful maiden women

who comes to me in full consciousness drawing me to a secluded place

where I am vulnerable with need for company and she feeds from this - my loneliness.

With her electrifying touch, her infectious smile and the maze of her luminous eyes

I beg her to enslave me. Her voice seducing my mysterious soul into a colourful trance of mellowing.

she lived for us, died for us and in death refused to part

in eternity seeking our unison,

in her existing even though beyond this realm

she erupts the fires of a longing an enfolding passion that quickly rises and towers down and over everything I have ever believed was.

From a dull world so familiar to me of grey, black and white she leads me on to a vast land of dreams that fills me with new emotions.

Colours freshly bloom before my eyes and all this for my heart to take warmth.

Now let me alone with this pain I am forever an addict to.

The stab of it stinging my dull being filling me with a high that thrills and fills my vacant space with a loud haunting scream.

Oh! I bleed this poem from my very soul, as she whispers unto me.

My hope in her goodness that shuns out the darkness that seeks to possess my soul.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Tied to the Train Tacks

Tell me that you think I'm Special,
While I'm hog-tied to the trestles
As I await the train to crush my pain-
Too many Demons have I wrestled!


Details | I do not know? | |

Last dreams

One day, she likes to fly, she said
One day, she will die, she said
She wants to relive the day we met
She doesn't want to see the tears I shed
no, she does not regret
The things she could have had
Although she's a little bit sad
About the unfulfilled dreams in her head

These were her last words, then she was dead.


Details | Rhyme | |

Tragic Irony

I had to make a decision that nearly destroyed me.
The decision was painful and it was Tragic Irony.
Mom gave me life and I had to make the decision that ended hers.
She was one of the greatest women in the world, that's for sure.
When the doctors attempted to wean her off the respirator, they had to put her back on it to keep her from dying.
They saw that she couldn't be weaned after three or four times trying.
I didn't make the decision alone, my brother had to make it as well.
After she passed, life became so intolerable that it was pure Hell.
She was suffering so much and my brother and I couldn't allow that to continue.
I would've rather lost my own life than to see hers end and that is certainly true.
The decision to take her off the respirator was ironic and it made our hearts break.
I hope and pray that the decision we made is one that you'll never have to make.

[Dedicated to Agnes Johnson (1948-2013) who passed away on March 6, 2013.]


Details | Rhyme | |

And So- To Sleep




As I close the curtains on wavering thoughts,
How did you bare the pain of your body’s conflict?
The mirror on the wall captures a picture of my hurt,
Tears fall as I wait for the mists of my pain to lift.

So many answers needed but now laid to rest,
My confusion as to “Why You?” never known.
Expectance the only option, for what else is there?
Solutions like an hour glass, empty and long gone.

Left shocked and broken, when reality hit home,
The battle within you raged, way out of your control.
A parasitic army draining you of strength and life,
Your loss leaves me numb right through to my soul.

As others watched helpless, you were falling,
Into the waiting arms of a better place.
Where pain and illness will never touch you,
I hope you smiled as you gave into it’s embrace.

We’ll all miss you, but know you will be smiling,
You will be remembered with love in our hearts.
At night I will always have a thought for you,
I will look for your face in the stars.

©.L.Kelly


Details | Ballad | |

WHAT LIFE IS

what life is, is all in drama.

A play whereas pain and joy

are the themes in constant contrast .

pain is for us in stage and joy for the only one who watches .

what is it to be normal ,if life is all just stage act

of the seven step rhythmn with a slight tag

followed by the deep mournful cry encrypted pain is living and role of puppets

and us all in poetic harmony

we stomp to the dance of life.


Details | Narrative | |

My Thoughts

Here I am. Alone here I sat. 
My mind wrapped in many thoughts. 
Those I care not to have. 
The ones of my life, a woman near my heart. 
The pain and pleasures are like doing uppers and downers. 
Feeling your hearts going burst if it don't cease. 
What does one do in this case I wonder? 
It's not of my heart I want destroy but loving as the man I am. 
There the differculties are with being human. 
Not being able to control the thoughts as they run wild. 
What is it really like to live alone? 
I know its lonely but how does one cope with this? 
Even when their thoughts are upon things that matter. 
How does the mind think or is it really the heart feeling these thoughts? 
I know that's where the pain exist because its not my head that hurts. 
It is the thinking of having everything you ever wanted in life. 
Including the woman you love so dearly. 
It is of my sucess I have accomplish even after many have robbed me blind. 
It is that will to survive that keeps my fight alive. 
But that of my inner being telling me that life is a lie. 
That it's only a joke to live. 
But there I have struggle still standing tall even when I am knock down. 
It is the eye of the tiger and the roar of a lion I cry. 
That of my soul just feels like screaming to the top of my lungs and falling to my knees and 
saying,lord take me. 
Ease this pain I'm in. 
But let not life kill me nor my thoughts I have. 
But make me stronger in thy ways. 
But end this day and not let me wake. 
For I am dieing of these thoughts and feelings I have,Please! 
Somebody help me before I go insane and lose my mind. 
These thoughts are crazy but of a woman I love. 
That I can not stand the thought of her in others arms. 
But my thoughts is I must go on. 
Because I am the man I am and there's nothing I can do about this. 
Except stay strong and survive until the day of my life has come. 
By then,I probably be old and grey,still wondering how I'm going to make the next day.


Details | Rhyme | |

Message To the Shooter

Life had done you wrong
Had taken away your song
You felt you didn’t belong
But why couldn’t you be strong?

You went on a shooting craze
Left behind a bloody maze
And little children in a daze
Did you think you’d get praise?

You had demons in your mind
So an outlet you had to find
Vented on children who are kind
Did self-loathing make you blind?

In the end you took your life
Left parents with nightmares rife
And pain twisting like a knife
Will there be no end to this strife?

Little children are now dead
Who will never be tucked in bed
Little classmates filled with dread
Couldn’t you kill your demon instead?

Your pain wouldn’t go away
So you made the innocent pay
Now the horror is here to stay
When you meet God, what will you say?


Details | Free verse | |

Eric -RIP-

Why did you leave?
Oh companion of mine
Why did you leave?
Twas it really your time? 
Did you see no point in staying 
another measly day? 
By my side if you were oh the 
things I would say! 
Judge you, I would not
Tis not in my nature
The emptiness I feel from your 
passing measures to that of a 
crater
A bullet took your life
One blast and it's through
What pains me to know is the 
gun was held by you
All you left behind was a note 
for family and friends
Inscribed were many ' I love 
you's ' 
And your deep heartfelt 
amends
No need to say sorry
For you lived a full life
I shall always remember this 
through the pain, struggles, 
and strife
'You don't know what you got 
until what you got is no more'
Oh how this saying is true!
As the tears stream my face 
and I reminisce of you
With anger in our eyes and 
pain in our hearts
We lay you to rest
Hoping that solace will 
overflow in our lives
We miss you Eric 
This is in plain black and white
Had we the power we'd wish 
you back to life
I take comfort in knowing one 
day we'll meet again
Beyond the pearly gates 
reunited  as friends
This is NOT goodbye
Only a brief farewell
When shall we meet again?
Only time will tell


Details | Rhyme | |

Tones of Death

Tones of Death

I hear the sombre tones of death
they linger with no sound
as eerie whispers in my mind
creep echoing around.

These sounds of misery and woe
now mingle with my doubts
and drag me down to places low
with silent screaming shouts.

I know that I must heed their voice
although they’re fraught with fear
and suffer with their helpless plight
until they disappear.

They feed their desolation
on emotions buried deep
and rising from their agony
they waken from their sleep.

They drain the essence of my life
and rape my very soul
as they seek for a spark of hope
to help to make them whole.

The darkness suffocates my will
as inner strength is drained
and riding on this slender thread
for them release is gained.

Again I feel the pain of loss
from death’s dejected soul
and hope the torment that I bear
is worth my chosen role.

The sombre tones of death I hear
are souls that are not free
but will they ever understand
the pain it causes me.

Ivor G Davies


Details | Personification | |

LIFE

Life is an everyday struggle, a struggle that never ends where people die and children cry 
and you learn to just pretend. Pretend that you are happy. Pretend that everything is ok. 
Pretend that this crap is normal, when you know its not suppose to be this way. They said 
God only gives you what you can handle, well I wish he dint trust me so much. Cause eve 
been strong for way too long and at this point rim about to bust. Over 10 years i was held 
captive in that belly of the beast but that has no comparison to the pain eve endured on 
those streets. My precious family dying off 1 by 1, so tragic, so painful i just want to run. I 
cant run to my mom God took her to heaven too, since she has been gone i just dolt know 
what to do. A piece of me died with her, rim no longer whole...i loved my mom with all my 
heart and soul. She wasn't the perfect mother but shes all i knew, mommy if you can hear 
me, I love you.Tell Aunt Lisa i love her and im sorry she left this world in so much pain since 
shes been gone no one is the same. She didn't deserve to be taken out in that horrific way 
but dont worry they are all gonna pay. Life doesn't get any easier, its an everyday struggle, 
it never ends...Where people die and children cry and you learn to just pretend.


Details | Bio | |

what it took me all

In search of summer though hopeless but in vain I cry for summer. Pain broken heart sorrows and hopelessness I had to deal with to get to my destination. Pain over here pain over there, left abdicated in the mystery of nowhere caught in the wrong chemistry. Locked and forgotten my days are over my life is useless at this point, my illusions are devastated I have no future. Been alone in this small cell is my new world, have not learned my mistakes but have learned that life is what you lead it to be missing those wonderful summer moments. It might sound surprising that am not longing to change but looking forward to full filling my dreams. Enjoyable were those days as I made it seem like heavens belong to me, i governed my clan as my name was praised. With the honour of who I was a great drug dealer which am still not regretting, I did what I had to do to obtain my pride. As my mum ruins my world it was like I were never me it was painful it was heartless of her those names she called me "A bastard child, a mistake" I had no other choice. To thee who gave us life To thee who protects us to thee who sees all I prayed to recommending that I have no rights to question him why for he is the almighty and his ways are unquestionable. 

Dealing with the agony days after days years after years it kept getting deadlier, I have pleaded, I have suffered I was forced to live again. I felt it was high time to agree on a solution as i made up my mind to rebel, though my beloved mother choose drugs against my life. The love I alter for her never did change an will never.  I can still see it happening  it was not my intentions to take her life I was only trying to protect my self but things happen. I wasn’t happy neither was I dismal I was at a certain point satisfied. Turning around walking away, my body felt cold my heart felt heavy and empty, I was no more myself I felt different I felt brave I didn’t feel guilty taking the life of the person who gave me life and tampered with it boldly I delivered myself to the police, I murded her I murdered my mother in tears I shout. With 17 in jail and so shall it be till I rot in here. God is with me as I am with myself.
She left in summer by my force as i was born in summer in her pain.


Details | I do not know? | |

Bittersweet Wisdom

Death, in its unhurried wisdom,
ends all doubt and sorrow.
It is a lasting remedy for all
Illness, insecurity, and loneliness;
The finality of it ends all pain with
a sweetness not otherwise known.
Its sweetness is known only by those,
who in their passing have smelled its fragrance.
The pain of those left behind has a
fragrance all its own, a bittersweet
emanation that assails the senses with
its pungency. The strength of the void,
left by the passing of one loved,
seems endless. Time and faith,
working in unison, will lessen the
strength and fill the void.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Shout


They stood there like ghosts
these apparitions.

 Survival was attrition-
 Eyes, like big black holes.

Slowly ,barefoot , moved 
these emaciated Poles.

The one in front ,raised his hand
and pointed to that heap of sand.

Skin hung on his frame;
who was to carry this evil shame?

He let out a guttural shriek! 
This shrouded and tormented freak.

Had bid farewell to his next of kin-
through the stacks this dreadful sin.

With feeble walk he made the gate;
aware that  they had not sealed his fate.


Details | Free verse | |

It's Not Your Fault

The thing about life
is that
it can end in an instant

When the rope of the
harsh words
wraps tightly around your 

Neck squeezing tighter
and tighter
you just want to jump

To end it all to end all
the pain
and the hatred and words

It is not only the words
that push
you over the edge

It is too the fists and
the feet 
that slam into you

Over and over
without
a break with out letting up 

Making you break down and slide down
the wall
and cry and cry and cry

One phone call can 
save a
live, stopping that jump

Stopping the self hate
and
spreading the love

The love i have for 
you will 
never fade or die and i hope

will make you better
to sleep
and to be able to be 

Happy again to 
be happy
forever and always with me

just remember and know
that it's
NOT YOUR FAULT


Details | Rhyme | |

The Day I Almost Died

Life carried on brushing up pain Each day I could hardly remain Darkness seemed to be my only course As I falter and enter ultimate remorse I could not see what's going on before me As life seemed dim I could hardly see There only seemed to be one way out Only one that I have known about Sleeping pills were taken extremely All at once, I was feeling sleepy In a last minute impulse I called emergency They swiftly came as I was quickly Fading fast from this course of reality I was nodding off to sleep completely They kept me barely awake to the hospital Where I was contorted to spill all I was gagged forcefully as darkness came Awakened again to find more pills taken My throat agonized with pain within From the horrible gagging motion Pill after pill flowed out of my mouth As I neared closer to oblivion, further south Finally I was allowed to sleep My dreams now were mine to keep When I awoke people surrounded me Looking very worried, disappointed really I had survived the attempt on my life A fear I will always remember, the strife Now the world is back into my life again The pain is seemingly always pounding within Worry is written all over my family Fear escapes my mother’s eyes completely They do many tests to see if I’m stable Then the diagnosis is depression, certifiable Therapists become a part of my new life All present and accounted for, no new strife Things weren’t anywhere near like they were When everything was dark, fearful for sure I hated life, it was lifeless, demure Then it seemed I had the perfect cure But life chose me, and I survived Now things work simply and I thrived I had the presence to make the best Of what life brings, to take in the rest I hold dear now all things that this life brings A warm feeling comes when fear is fleeting A perfect happiness comes from simplicity Bringing complexity down to earth sincerely Love came swiftly with joy in the heart Never felt more pure, never to be torn apart Now that I had survived the brush of death I now take pleasure in each and every breath This is what happens sometimes when death knocks And life gets switched around, time tick-tocks Now since the terror has come and gone Joy and pleasure have arrived as one The future now looks a lot greater Now that death will be a lot later
Russell Sivey Entrant into Richard Tarr's "suicide survivor" contest 11/12/2012


Details | Free verse | |

My Shadow



Blackness, a dark version of me, badness, negativity.

No matter how fast i run or were i run too your right behind me.

Even the brightest sun doesn’t destroy you, you only exist because of me.

All i know is when i face the darkness you disappear, but to only return when the sun rises.



Details | Rhyme | |

Locked away

its just a black whole yet its pulling me deeper 
there is no way to escape
I'm just another permanent keeper 
so i give it what i got and i try to fight
i try and try with all my might
 it all ends the same I'm not strong enough to fight
in the far distance i see a bright light
but its just false tormenting sight
I'm pulling myself together then its blowing me apart
faster than a speeding bullet or a tranquilizing dart
there trying to get me through it but its making me worse
i feel so alone and it makes me feel cursed

my pulse is getting stronger
death is quick but wont stop to wonder
the pain it causes like loud thunder
it screams in sight but leaves children to ponder 
i start to fall deeper and deeper 
and it gets me feel weaker 
my heart and lungs moving faster and faster
yet my suffering just keeps getting longer and longer
i feel my sanity seeping from my grip
i try to reach it but my soul starts to rip
all this pressure my knees start to buckle
and here i am a one-man shuttle
I'm zooming out of reach of my sanity
and sight of it makes me feel more and more panicky
but my head is held high and i cant admit defeat
even when the blood of an innocent starts to leak
I'm trapped in here with noway out 
and there all out there trying to break me out
heart cant take the pain and starts to crumble
my feet cant move so instead i stumble
I'm locked in yet i feel locked out
my heart and soul it starts to shout

then i see the knife like the glorious sun
my chance to get out its my my only one
i held the sharp metal to my skin
my life flashes before my life full of sin
i wake up now and I'm breathing quite fast

people they fall and shatter beyond repair
but we don't go near not even for a dare
its not our business so we leave it alone
even if its us that can finally bring them home.
the day now breaks in to the early morn
just a dream i think as a look at the dawn

they fort to guarantee that you may survive
like spider webs suck with the desperate flies
it's enough to cause your soul could rip
like a barely young adult being stripped


Details | Quatrain | |

Mine Anger 2K12

Good morrow anger! Found am I not less
Angered more so; Pray thee hinder not more.
Kindred stolen of murder; Most senseless!
O murderer, locked are frigid doors; Naught honor.


Details | Senryu | |

Pulled the Trigger

Bullet wounds
The criminal shoots down his
First targets

How dare you
Shoot them uncontrollably
CHAOS grows .  .  .

Don’t shoot it!
The victims are running mad
And you pulled

The trigger
I’m terrified of your strength
DROP IT, man ! ! !


Details | Rhyme | |

Your Embrace

Dear Lord I await your embrace as the weight on my shoulders is getting harder to take
I see the pain and daily lies that we spread its our mask . . our disguise

The pain and suffering is like mystical chains pulling me down to a darkened place,
I know you are with me so I should feel no fear, but it gets harder each day and year by year. 

I write this now with tears looming in my eyes, my strong front hides the pain deep inside;

Your love keeps me going . .  your secret signs show the way, yet I still pray please make the pain go away.


Details | I do not know? | |

Sigh

Fabricated lies boundless,
Without a cause.
Words of promises
Left forgotten.
Abandoned soul
Heart less and alone.
Tears of sadness recognized
But not accompanied.
04/09/09


Details | Free verse | |

The sweetheart you were

You broke my heart
You made my world fall apart
You made me cry
You made me realize truly
That when all is said and done
Grief is the price we pay for love
I tried to make things right
A million words could not bring you back
Neither could a million tears
Wanting you is hard to forget
Loving you is hard to regret
Because it was a lesson
Sometimes memories are worth the pain
Sometimes I just have to hold my head high up, blink away the tears 
And pretend that everything is alright
Am afraid to care too much
For fear that history would repeat itself
You never cared at all did you?
Exactly one year and three months down the line
I made a choice to finally let go
Coz time is passing out fast
I got to move on too
I cried tonight sweetheart
Not because I miss you
Or I even wanted you
But because I realized
That I’m going to be alright without you


Details | Rhyme | |

Have You Ever

Have you ever felt the longing
Coursing through your veins
Have you ever felt the emptiness
Driving you insane
Have you ever felt the yearning
Reducing you to tears
Have you ever wondered why
You've lived through all these years
Do you ever feel the hunger
For a life not your own
Do you ever feel the emptiness
Of being in this world alone
Do you ever feel the sadness
Crushing your tender heart
Reducing you to madness
Do you ever fall apart
If you've ever wondered these
If you've ever wanted to flee
If you've ever felt your heart seize
Then be assured that you know me
And I do know thee


Details | Blank verse | |

The End

Wherever I go 
I know that there must be an end
For happiness
For sadness
For life!!

Everything has "on" and "off"
One day it'll be turned off
Just like us
We were born to die
We smile to cry
We imagine to fly

Every end can be good or bad
Happy or sad
That's what makes me mad
And tires my mind


Wherever I walk
Whenever I talk
I know that there must be a stop
for my way
for my say
for my loss!!

Blackmatta~

*C'est la vie, Contest


Details | I do not know? | |

Dead best friend

She had now where to turn to
She had no where to go
she ran down beside my street
Crying out of pain

And from my window i watched her cry
So painful it seemed to me

But then some one walks up to her
With a shout of pain
I jump out of my window 
and say
'get off of her'

And with a fright the guy runs off
But yelled at her one last time

At this rate i heard him say
'Your going to die
today or tomorrow
I'll find you any where you go'

with pain I'm my heart
i stop dead in front of him

'you messed with the wrong girl'

With a punch that got him in the jaw
He shouted in pain and waled at me

But no not me
my friend in pain on the floor

And on that night my best friend died
With a bullet in her heart

I still remember that day
i Still remember who did it

i still remember that day
my best friend became 

my Dead best friend.


Details | I do not know? | |

Fading Away

I'm so tired of being here
Because the pain and misery is always near
Through my eyes the world is full of sorrow
There's no happiness tomorrow
I feel like i'm getting closer to the gates of hell
Can anyone tell me where in life did i fail
I'm lost in the darkness inside my own mind
Peace is a lie, its something i can't find
I feel empty in fantasy
yet pain in reality
Farewell to all as i put the gun to my head
Goodbye world of dread
Bang,bang, now i'm dead


Details | Rhyme | |

the late loved

At dawn I’ve found and realized
What I should have before twilight
Daybreak has seen my agony
And it alone cannot save me
Wherewith was I? Before you died
Before were closed those pretty eyes.
Whereon to go? My world is cold!
My equator is like the poles
Oh dear! My dear, the dearest one,
Your beauty years! They’re all forlorn.
When I was all, but close to you
When still I fought for all undue
Bitter this pain and all I feel
On top my tongue and on my skin
It makes sense now and still does not
Sure! You are gone, and I’m distraught
Such fairly being, art excellent
Was seized from me, our time unspent
No timely count or seconds ticked
Not one was found when we were with
No memory of you and me
Our history can never be
Oh love! My love, the sweetest too
How come I knew all things but you?
In vanity, I chose to live
When I’d have been just close to thee
Heaven please give, one golden year
And save me all my pain and tears
To later shed in joy with her
For pain, or fate, for all we are
I sought you late, too late “my peace”
And found you where you should not be
I’ve found you; cold, your skin as pale
-As the feet of the nightingale.
Your freezing touch, and absent gaze
Your carelessness to all I say.
Alas, my queen, i found you gone
I found you when your life was done!


Details | Rhyme | |

My Pupils

Fatigued eyes droop, lacking sweet slumber
But my eyes are an exception…everything’s a blur
They stare off into space…they ache with displeasure 
But I still wonder… my pupils still wander

My pupils still wander… never planted in one spot 
Their cup is half full…rather than half empty
My pupils see what others cannot  
Because… their too busy to smell the roses of plenty 

My pupils project feelings…
They comprehend – they spiral up and down
They express horrendous sorrows…they observe their surroundings 
My belongings are misplaced – my smile lowers into a frown

Optimism isn’t in the picture…bestowing infection
Upon my crestfallen heart 
I’m a broken compass – I’m losing my direction  
My animated heart tears apart 

Their voices are high in volume…rather than using half their volume
My pupils glance in many directions – beaming with glee 
Because they’re focusing too much on their social lives…let us resume
On with our soothing music 

Intrigued eyes lift…willing to wonder in curiosity 
But my eyes swelter, wearily drowning in discouragement  
They spot what others are too oblivious to see… 
Nonetheless, I still ponder…
Are my pupils singing merrily OR are they wandering in bafflement? 

Do I witness the fears and woes?

My pupils reject the precious scenery 
They are carefree – they are heedless of my despondency 
My pupils forever look forward to freedom…observe the hardships and disparity
My surroundings are chaotic and wild – my heart pounds profoundly…

My pupils…
Oh dear pupils…
Will you ever pay the bills?
Will you ever use your skills?

My heart bleeds in the river mills
My pupils ascend…above the dazzling hills 
My pupils spew out remorse 
My pupils are like open doors…


Details | Rhyme | |

Perspective

I'm in a land where everyone is dying
Sweet child please awake
I look up at the sky screaming, crying
God, why do you take!
What's the reason for living in this world without my baby?

I'm in a store where everyone is buying
I've got a headache
My child is loud, and is quite defying
Tom for heaven's sake!
Just get the damn toy he wants so he will shut up, just maybe?

My parents are dead, not here anymore
I sell my bare flesh
They've labeled me sinner, scarlet, a whore
Malice thoughts, a thresh!
My face is bruised and bloody from the stones of licentious men

My parents are stupid, I slam my door
We just do not mesh
I hear the knocks, but I choose to ignore
The night air feels fresh!
I'll show them, I'm running away from home; what will they think then

Today is my birthday and I turned eight
It's time to be tough
I get my gun and go fight for my state
It's scary and rough
It hurts to breath in, It's so cold and dark; I want my mommy

Today is my birthday and I'm out late
I've not drank enough
Bartender another drink I feel great
Wow, I am hot stuff
I stumble to their table, I vomit like a tsunami


Details | Verse | |

Cry because they are born

Yeah. Another soul gone, taken out of the world
Mothers cry for your boys and girls
Not because they're taken away,, 
But because they're born in a world like today,,
R.I.P G.James,, R.I.P


Details | Free verse | |

Deceased

Middle of the night
All that is heard
Is yelling & screaming
A voice says,
"...No!...
...Why?!...
...Stop!...
...Don't do that!..."
Then nothing
Walk into the room
Nothing to see
Pitch black
One click of the light switch
All is revealed
Empty liquor bottles
Broken glass
Pills
Knife on the floor
Blood splattered all over the walls
With writing on it that reads,
"See what you made me do?"
Look on the floor
A dead body holding a gun
Look on the ceiling
A dead body hanging
What a nightmare
But a wish come true
Both parents
Dead


Details | Free verse | |

Storm

Nothing but a waste
you’re just a reckless disgrace
too much power
for a deceiver

It's not right
I see light
It's not near enough
for me to go 

It's my choice
so don't you treat me like a play toy
I'm not yours
to control

Cause I will storm in after you
If you take her far away from me
And I will storm in after you
If you take her to the grave with thee

You take our race for granted
and you're highly overrated
you're always taking
my friends

It's not right
I see light
It's not near enough 
for me to go

It's our choice
so don't you treat us like we're play toys
we're not yours
to control

I will storm in after you
If you take them far away from me
And I will storm in after you
If you try and take them to the grave


Details | Free verse | |

Stop The Ride

It started off as fun, and 
games... Who knew fun could 
turn into terrifying in a matter 
of 
seconds  ?

I scream until my lungs are 
raw, and unbearably painful .

STOP ! Over, and over until I'm 
tired of hearing the sound of 
my own voice .

The world spins faster, and 
faster as the ride continues... I 
wan't off . I want it to be over . 
I'm dizzy , and weak .

My legs tremble with fear , my 
heart beats with adrenaline .

Just stop the ride . Stop the 
ride .


Details | Prose Poetry | |

My pain

blood drips down
locked the door
the stinging starts to fade
everything becomes a blur
i know lay in the tub
in the cold water
my my arms stings
then the pain fades
i go under hopping not to come back up for air
and i feel my body going numb
i open my mouth to get a water in and blood
i tell myself to stay under
and then everything fads away
no more pain
my heart stops
the pain leaves me
my dead body is in the tub
TO NEVER BE FOUND AGAIN
untill someone starts looking for me
when they find my body
it will be to late


Details | Rhyme | |

Mercy Killing

What happened last night brother, 
Please tell me it's not true, 
Was i a bother, 
Don't tell me you have no clue, 

Why am i locked up in an asylum, 
Don't you trust me, 
Am i getting my mammogram, 
it's my right to know please tell me, 

Don't isolate me please, 
I beg you, am only human, 
Tell them to handle me with ease, 
Am almost a young woman, 

Don't turn away when i speak, 
I need some answers, 
These injections are making me weak, 
Not forgetting my ulcers, 

Is this about the mercy killing, 
Please brother, don't cry, 
You tried your best but am not healing, 
Please let me die, 

I can's feel my limbs, 
The medicine is getting stronger, 
Please take care of the other siblings, 
Am growing weaker, 

Am done leaving on life support machine, 
Just let me go, 
You tried but am a broken engine, 
lease let my spirit go, 

This are my last words brother, 
Please don't try and save me, 
Last night when i had a seizure, 
The doctor defiled me...,


Details | Narrative | |

Red Eyes and Sinister Looks

Chains, hay forks, knives, and a hollow whisper,
become more true and sinister.
Halt in the middle of the moon light, 
and a waver image soon is no delight.
Voices run a muck in the head, 
so not calming you wish you were dead.
Gushing blood through the eye
not an image that you would rely.
Nails stuck on your neck with such pain
so your paralyze just little life sustain.
Hoodlums terrorizing people running a muck
did not really know they are in luck.
More dangerous beings are out their
to commit such act and with sinister stare.
Laughing with haunting echo's through
is an aspect of fear can imbue.
The wind changes direction to smother
the echoing sound of laughter.
The panicking state that you are in
soon drives a knife within.
Blood rushing out of your vain
a crucial part of your life dropping like rain.
Running without a destination
you will never reach anyone of your relation.
Sliding your body on a wall
keeping your fall in a stall.
Red eyes you can see it at night
is soon devouring you with little bite.
Changing your belief with tonics of relief
and it is to late to turn a new leaf.
Ears start to deceive the animals sound
eating limbs are chewing around.
Slowly your red eyes steadily getting heavy
is starting to take your life with a levy.
Dropping down with no attitude
and your life force slowly loses altitude.
Breathing comes not so easy
smelling flesh seems so beastly.
The change comes a desire
with frightening red eyes of fire.
Comes more lethal than the hoodlums 
your heart beating like drums.
Your hand becomes all fury
claws come out and your howl with furry.
Trance your in with no one to blame
a rage thats hundreds of centuries of flame.
Rising from a slumber of long lust
a animal instinct that you can trust.
Tearing things apart with no meaning
is a trait that is so deceiving.
Red eyes at night you see in a window
like a poisonous black widow.
Keeps you in attack mode of insanity
that takes all your vanity.
Ferocious emotions eating away
the soul that you had once betray.
The echoing sounds of loud thunder
breaks away the armor with sunder.
You fall once again to torturous agony
the feeling of one self is so lonely.
Shaking in the corner you are found
with blood soaked skin you drowned.
The night becomes day cruel in some way
your memories go in disarray.
The hunters with torches and sinister look
had parted way their hands shook.


Details | I do not know? | |

The Final Cut

She cries alone,
In her room at night;
Her sparkling eyes
Had lost their light.

She turns up the music,
As loud as it goes,
So no one can hear her screaming
Into her pillows.

Her pain is unbearable,
As she walks to the kitchen.
The only sound in the house,
Is the clock ticking.

She opens the drawer
And takes a knife in her hand.
She takes her last walk
Down the hallway that never seems to end.

She cries,
As she pulls up her sleeve
And puts the blade to her skin,
Thinking this as the only way out.

She closes her eyes
As she pushes the blade in,
Hitting a main vein
And all the pain her life's held in.

It's all over now,
As she lies on the floor
Waiting for the light to come,
As she drifts away.


Details | I do not know? | |

My Mask

So much on my mind
I can’t think straight 
Nobody understand
I don’t demonstrate it.
I hide behind the smiles
Which I call a mask,
And talk so sweet
So they don’t see the hurt
That’s within me.
I’ve become so 
Introverted and isolated
From those I thought I knew,
And landed in the position 
Of a permanent foe.
04/30/08


Details | I do not know? | |

Dad

I got down on my knees and began to pray

To find the words I want to say

The Lord took you to his home up above

He will have to tell you of our love

Our home became sad that day

The day you were called away

The Lord only knows the tears we shed

Each night before we went to bed

It was hard to see the pain upon your face

We wished we could vanish it without a trace

Your pain was our pain too

We just did'nt know what to do

The years have slipped by very fast

Everyone wishes you could bring back the past

We want you to know of our love

Until we meet you again up above


Details | Free verse | |

Story Rings True Now

Will I go with the beast Or will I strangle it Just to go and drop the hint Openness escapes me The devil is in my arms May I beat him down With my souls essence A dynasty is within me A gross of pelicans lift me Taking me highly above To where Satan cannot find me I shall conquer the essence Of horrid and painful evil That envelops my very being Should destroy it all And bring my soul higher Or shall I stay in horror With each day deflating me I will succeed in success And my soul with fly Love will defeat all death The harmonious realm bends Moves to my joyful will Luck isn’t the life force Hope and faith and Love Bring me to victory Slamming the end of time Into nothingness The story rings true now And peace is in my heart And love is the focal point And is the center of my existence For all time, forever
Russell Sivey


Details | Rhyme | |

Evil

My words are put together with no restrain.
I am still standing tall in this pool of pain.
Patiently waiting for DEATH to call my name.
Because if I died today or tomorrow it's all the same.
Pulse raising pain is flowing through my veins.
heading to my brain it's getting harder to contain.
My soul is fading away heart cold and gray.
Life style POSTAL I am EVIL prey.
Don't pray for me mom I am beyond save.
because my path to hell has already been pave.
So now I am dodging death won't even close my eyes.
Why am I still alive? Is it because I am curse with pride?
Or is it because my soul is frozen in time?
So each day my heart cries because I am surrounded by lies.
Consumed with EVIL my life can not be revise.
Credits saying that my life choices are cold and despise.
But I am a star heart still cover with scars.
smoking my pain away each night looking up to the stars.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

let me teach you a thing

as you grow up, you say things
you say things you don't mean, just to feel better inside
you make up problems, just to get attention
you break people, and throw rocks at them
mistakes throws you right to the ground, they give you a smack, and make you learn
anger rises in your veins, you try to suck it out... but what can you suck out if it's in you?
as she falls to the ground, you feel power in your heart.
you feel like she is your toy, and you are the narrator of the toy.
you feel like your hands are magical, and they can do anything to anyone;
but the only thing you have been doing is... hurting yourself, and making you die slowly
in agony!!
when she covers up, don't you look away and put your head down?
as she licks her lips, and spreads the blood even more;
don't you feel a pinch in your stomach, and feel like your gonna be sick?
to make an impression, you try to make yourself fit in.
where would you fit in, if all you do is switch words around and make a fool out of yourself?
as you cross your arms and smile at the picture, don't you think she's a human too?
regrets isn't a word, but as you go to sleep remember this word "hunger".
that word "hunger" lounges in her mind, she feels the need to "hunger" over you and stay
with you; for she loves you. she feeds off of you
all those scars she wishes away, she still thinks deep down inside of you,
you are not a regret, you "hunger" off of her too.
as you grow up some more, you feel pain inside your heart.
as she tries to suck the pain out, you make more pain out of it.
as you feel like getting a knife and stabbing her, feel the warmth of her instead.
see how much she stuck through for you, and see how much destruction you made.
see for yourself, that you have ALWAYS been a monster to her!!!!!!!


Details | I do not know? | |

'Til Death Do Us Part

I used to cut. 
I was depressed. 
And then I found someone who loved me and actually cared. 
And all of the pain just seemed to disappear. 
But something happened. 
Words were said. 
Someone tried to take him and now he is dead. 
The razor from my shelf went missing, but to where, I know not. 
The bloodstains on the sheets cannot be removed, but the blood was spilled from 
someone unknown. 
The doorknob to the bathroom will not open. 
I push and shove it harder, but it will not budge. 
I try and look through the dresser drawer for the missing key, but it is no where to 
be seen. 
I run to the kitchen, looking for a knife, or anything else that will allow me entry into 
the room, that I know is withholding the truth. 
I find something and run back upstairs to the bathroom. 
With the pick in the lock I turn the knob and slowly push the door open...
 And there he is... 
The blade that was once before in my hand, now lies on the floor, beside my dead 
love. The blood on the floor around him is still fresh. 
The streaks on his cheeks, from the tears are still visible. 
I run to his side and grab the razor. 
With one fast slice, the gash in my wrist is pouring blood. 
I lie down beside my non-breathing love. 
Our blood mixes, as we lie there together. 
The world doesn't care or even know, the pain that we had to let go.
 


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

A Walk Among the Tombstones

*Walking among the tombstones
*Conversing with the dead
*Alone, crying at a grave
*A woman on her knees, bowed was her head

*Her hair was dark
*Her eyes were too
*I couldn't help the strange feeling
*That this was a woman I knew

*As I approached
*I quaked with fear
*And in the blink of an eye
*The mysterious woman disappeared

*Curiosity got the best of me
*I threw caution to the wind
* What I saw at that stone
*I could not comprehend

*My breathing became erratic
*Tears fell from my eyes
*My heart sank
*As I read those lines

*Here lies Valerie
*Mother, daughter, sister, and wife
*Such a pity and a shame
*She took her own life

*Her mind and spirit broken
*Her heart was shattered
*So tired of being worthless
*To him not one moment together mattered

*Couldn't close her eyes
*Her nightmares carried her fears
* Suffocated by lies
*Drowned in her tears

*She could still feel his heart beat
* and hear his breath
* she still felt her hand on his face
* and his head collapsed on her chest

*She gave her last breath
*Praying and begging for one last kiss
*And to hear him say he loved her
* to feel the fire and emotions she had missed

*A love she once knew
*So real and rare
*So strong yet so frail
*Forever they were to share

*his promises were broken
*he chose a different life
* living for everyone else, without her
* he walked away and let her go and didn't even cry when she died

*My hands began to tremble
* What I began to realize, I just couldn't believe
*I had lost her so very long  ago
*The woman who had vanished was the me I used to be...


Details | Rhyme | |

Heart Of Thorns

Heart of thorns,soul of pain
Watch couples strolling through the sand
Smiling,touching,holding hands
A feeling claws me as I glance
Heart of thorns,soul of pain
Seas of tears I tread alone
This feelingI've forever known
Haunting paths with no light shown
Heart of thorns won't set me free
Soul of pain won't leave me be
Seas of darkness,endless,deep
Pulls me under,drowning me
Heart of thorns,soul of pain
Feeling envious to your gain
Thoughts of death taunting my brain
The mirror sees I am insane
Heart of thorns won't leave me be
Soul of pain won't set me free
Quelling torment endlessly
Kill the pain to Death I plead
Soul of pain,heart of thorns
A pool of blood shines off the floor
The endless pain of love,no more!!!


Details | Free verse | |

Her Name Is

Something inside me is yurning 
lifleless breath i'm learning 
bloody palms 
the cold nights are calm 
but heres my alibi! 
but heres my alibi! 
I fear her name.. 
I fear her name.. 
DEATH! DEATH! 
I have come up with reason 
not to go along with her words 
so i put this down on paper 
but so deep that nothings much safer 
the great heroine of each 
the pain grows inside me like a leach 
she likes my pain 
but i'm insane 
how can it be so right 
but all along so wrong 
I fear her name.. 
I fear her name.. 
this is nothing but her game 
her name is death 
but i'm so cold 
dead with no soul 
she eats at my heart 
with 30 seconds left to life 
she's way to smart 
she knows your name 
she has my name 
death is silence 
its what i fear 
for its the last name you'll hear 
i have problems my dear 
winter nights 
she fears thes heights 
she may be deaths kiss 
and there's nothing to miss 
her name is DEATH! 
what is her game 
bloodshed rain 
so cold and in pain 
i understand what this true pain is 
waking up without a soul; 
existing forever, but always alone 
i know where sorrow is born 
in icy depths of mans empty heart; 
her spirit of love to tear apart 
i see misery in every face 
knowing no mercy, nor joy, nor peace; 
only death can bring them ease 
i hear loathing in every word 
ever breath a burning pain; 
lies, deciet, and wraths distane 
i feel hat inside all mankind 
rotting filth, disease decay; 
in ther deffense, nothing to say 
i taste the rotten flesh of skin 
toxic putrescense, bitter and vile; 
evil by nature, the mind of a child 
i am the truth in all that you feel 
my humanity stolen, compassion gone; 
i am that which you know is wrong 
i am in misery and darkness complete 
knowing no other than that of my soul; 
destined for solitude, i am always alone


Details | Classicism | |

Pain So Deep

I have so much pain I feel inside,
 Eachday it's getting harder 
    and harder to hide I really miss you right by my side, 
  I  havn't been the same since you died
         It's been hard with you not around 
but I know in my heart your in heaven smiling down 
        I miss you with every beat of my heart
 death is the only thing that could ever keep us
   apart
 I love you now & forever just like I did from the start
    My heart is so sore each day I miss you more & more
    I'm not sure if I will be okay 
nothing will ever take this pain away
I look forward to seeing you again oneday


Details | Free verse | |

My Little Boy Lost

My Little Boy Lost
by Katherine Huffman
Hello? My son, are you here?
I can't see you, I can't find you, why aren't you near?

As I walk the streets in search of you, 
I feel a pull, a tug, not sure what to do.
I passed the park as I looked for my boy, 
Even passed our play spot, but in my sight, not even a toy.
After everywhere I thought that I could go, 
There was one place, but it can't be right, this is all I know.

Hello? My son, are you here?
I can't see you, can't find you,
Why can't I feel you near?

This evening begins as I lay to rest my head, 
There are some things I'm unsure of, 
Like making your tiny bed.
Oh God, whats happening, haven't I counted your toes?
What about cradling your head or kissing your little nose?
What are these things I am unsure of, have I even done? 
Where are you, where are you my precious son?

Mommy lays here, in tears, her face on something cold.
Where are you my son, it's you I need to hold.
I've searched all day, it's turning into night,
I'm tired, I'm lost, but I still won't give up this fight.
My eyes start to close, slumber is far too near 
If I fall asleep, I may miss seeing you my dear.

Next thing I know, as I wake to the sun.
Wondering what it is, what has been done?
As I sit, my eyes focus, I start to look around.
Then, for some reason, they are drawn to the ground.
As I look, I see what has become,
This can't be, what's happening, where am I my son?

That cold my face last night laid upon, 
Was a marker, with your name, 
Of your body my little one.
Those things I wasn't sure if I'd ever done, 
Were but the memories, I'd hoped to make with you my son.

You were here, I know you were here 
My beautiful, precious son.
You were in mommies arms, such a little one.
As though it were as simple as reading a book,
I start to realize
These tangled webs have become unhooked.

That tug, that pull that led your mommy here, 
It was your spirit, it was your soul, 
It was your heart my little dear.

Here you were, here you were, 
Right with me, so very near.
My little boy, my son, 
Mommies little one was here.
You see? You led me where I needed to go.
For it was well past the time,
To accept this I know.

I feel a tug, I feel a pull.
I feel like I need to hurry, 
Like I have to go.
There is someone I remember,
I need to get to I know.
He's a small one, a little boy. 
He's your brother, my son, 
He's pulling, he's tugging, 
Needing mommy my little one.
I have to leave, I have to go, 
To find my baby, my son.

Oh Thank You my boy,
For bringing me here.
For letting my mind begin to see clear.
You showed me the way, 
I now see the light.
I am so close, so near in this dark night.

So here you are, here you are, 
With mommy, my baby is so very near.
You are in my heart, my mind, 
And this little brother of yours, my dear.

My little boy lost, my little boy lost, 
it's you I have found.
You were there with me,
as I slept on that ground.

Hello? My son, are you here?
I can see you, mommy found you, 
In my arms I hold you so near.
I've bathed you, I've clothed you, 
And cradled your head.
I counted your toes,
I bent in and kissed that little nose.
As you fell asleep in your bed.

Without him, 
Would these be memories
we are making my dear?
Without him would mommy, 
Be able to hold you so near?

We have a little angel to watch over us for all nights.
In spirit, with us, his soul,
Our endless guiding light.
He's your big brother, my son, my precious little one. 
He's right here, a part of you, 
Never again to be gone.

My little boy lost, my little boy lost,
It's you, I can see.
I have to Thank You 
For guiding me!


Details | I do not know? | |

Deadly

My mind was filled with hope

and desire. 

While laying in a garden of 

wildfire. 

Take my skin and flesh to boil 

and burn.

I feel the end come as I turn. 

Ash and nothing more is what 

I've become. 

Are there tears in your eyes or 

are there none.

Endure and take when I am a 

ghost. 

Know that I'll haunt you 

because I loved you the most.


Details | Rhyme | |

A Man Does Weep

Great are the pains in life, 
a job, friends, kids and wife…
Needing to be alone to think, 
constant drip of the kitchen sink.
Sorrows, struggles, fear and pain, 
things a man can’t show, no gain…
If the truth be told man or not,
standing alone, not a robot.
A man can weep ‘till his insides ache, 
watch his children leave his heart does break. 
A man does shed tears no lie!
I did, I watched my mother die…
A man does weep when sorrow comes, 
the pain so great it surely numbs.
I wept so hard my body shook, 
gasping to breathe my breath it took…

A mother lost, a father too; 
a child has gone so far away.
A life of hope that disappears, 
it’s hard to see another day…

I still get up after I fall, 
each time but not for myself…

Who am I living for? 
I sometimes wonder why not myself…

And again I seek to be alone to weep…


Details | Rhyme | |

heartless

The ice on my skin burns like the sun,
As the freezing steel makes another run.
Searing pain reminds me of why its done,
Medical precision assures the blood will run.
With this pain another news story is spun,
Followed by the segment of the one who used the gun.


Details | Rhyme | |

The Nightmare

Awakened dreams, nightmarish quips
Jaundiced tear drops, blooded thrips

Winter's sloe, wrathful mourn
Howled wails, petalled thorn

Fingers touch, perusing caress
Sullen smile, blackened finesse 


Details | Rhyme | |

single fathers child taken

pick the ending- 1 or 2 and any comments


standing at the bus stop chilled to the bone
just now realizing he was all alone
everything in his life had been destroyed
when he lost his little boy.

a father who is single trying to make it in this life
no family members and no wife.
his sons life had been taken by a drunk driver that day
when he sped through a red light
as he tried to get out of its way.

too many memories does he face-that he has to leave this place.
so many memories flood his mind
as he thinks what could he have done if he had the time.

the driver has convicted of drunk driving but not jailed
the judicial system to him had failed.
his son was dead and his life was shattered
nothing in this life ' now mattered'.

#1-  two years had passed and he would now get revenge
the life this driver knew would soon end.
he staggered out of the bar and headed to his car
when the sledge hammer hit him across his knee
then another blow on the other knee, as he started to scream.
two more blows on each leg, and on the ground he would stay.
stuck in a wheel chair for the rest of his life
he's now paid the ultimate price.

                    or #2
he prayed every day for justice for his son
this man was still drinking and driving
and nothing being done.

the question always entering his mind
is this judicial system so doggone blind? 
why wasn't this man taken off of the streets
are they waiting for more bodies in a crumpled heap.

yet! he always believed ' what goes around comes around'
and his justice will be found.


Details | I do not know? | |

Goodbye Friend

I have cried and cried till I can cry no more,
My eyes tired , red and really really sore.
   The pain of the sadness I feel deep inside ,
Is what has made me do nothing but cry.
   I will miss my friend now that he is gone ,
We've known each other for so very long.
  The best of buds all through our childhood,
As close as two can get as anybody ever could.
   It will never be the same without him I'm afraid,
But I'll always have the memories of all our days.
   Like a brother there for him and he there for me,
Seems that was the way it was meant to be.
   Soon time will heal all and the pain will fade ,
A distant memory is all there will be of this day.
TAC


Details | Free verse | |

16

The winds carry my cries
The rain with tears
Lightning in my eyes, there and gone

I feel connected to destruction
Everything i touch seems to break
Like midas and his golden touch
Only worse and unable to reverse

So many people i tore apart
Some have stayed and some have gone
I only wish i wouldn't be a pain to them any longer

I've just realised what i am
I am that of darkness
Not of light

The cold blade of death seems so fond
When warm flesh weighs me down
It calls like thunder
Forewarning a storm

Plagued with misfortune
Roaming the earth
I, the bringer of sadness and sorrows

Never a smile
Never a breath
Never life comes my way

Starry skies seem so dim
Moon ever bright
Darkness i evermore do love

When i'm gone
I promise
You'll worry no more

The pain i feel inside
Never goes away
Seems a plague with no cure
Till i die

The moon unknown but full
When my spirit will finally rest


Details | Free verse | |

The Night of Unleavened Bread

Matzos slip into their mouths
Voices project merrily...tonight is
The night of Unleavened Bread

Lamb and other delicious
Meats and veggies... satisfies our taste buds 
What a splendid night it is!

Wine's brewin' in our wine cups
The dinner table - creates pleasant talk 
During this meaningful night

There's moments of quietude 
When it comes to de-leavening our lives
But, there's moments of gladness

On this night of peacefulness
Cheesecake - a delightful treat to savor 
During this night of pure bliss


Details | Free verse | |

Dead Girl

Whose voice is that i think i know
Her voice is soft like the soft winds blow.
She skips with glee as she grows near.
Her skin is pale, as white as snow.

My dog beside me, finds it queer
To see her now after a year
Between two trees down by the lake.
The time she died was just last year.

My dog beside me starts to shake
To see this trick is a mistake
The tears that fall as i start to weep
Of deepest sorrows, my heart it aches

The feeling of grief it cuts me deep
But she will stay in my heart to keep
And as i cried i fell asleep
And as i cried I fell asleep


Details | Lyric | |

Suicide

As the days turned into weeks, the weeks into months and months into years I wondered half-heartedly how so much time could pass me by. My life was a matter of simply getting through each moment. Existing but never living.

The days dragged on. Growing bleaker and bleaker with each passing moment. And, oh the nights how dark and lonely they always proved to be. Sheer exhaustion but never rest. Sleep was as foreign to me as the life I had one day known. The best I could have hoped for was to have collapsed into a heap.

The tears, how they streamed shamelessly down my cheeks. In the dark corner I sat trying to avoid the world. All alone. The pain unbearable. I couldn’t breathe. Only gasp between my sobs. Never-ending sadness moving in on me. Closing in until hysteria would come and take its place.

The pills. Oh, they helped for awhile. Eased the pain a little in the beginning but that didn’t last. So more doctors, more pills. Start taking this one and quit taking that. Stronger doses always called for though they never helped. Frustration added to the pain. Desperation finally took over.

Tonight’s the night. All alone. Making plans. Leaving notes. Will they forgive me? Will it matter if they don’t? Freedom on the other side of a bottle. A hot bath. A handful of these and another of those. It’s just a matter of time now. The tub is so relaxing. Growing sleepy. Now is the time. I have to let go. Eternity calls my name. No more pain. I am free.


Details | Free verse | |

Things come and go

Things come and things go,
but life always moves on.
A little girl stood by a grave, 
head bowed,
tears flowed. 
Her father set his hand on her shoulder, 
And told he told her
Things come, And things go,
But everday we find more to love,
Never replacing what was lost,
But never fear to fall in love,
The pain of loss will come, 
The pain of loss will go


Details | I do not know? | |

Friend

Friend where are you?
are we playing 
Hide and seek?
did you drown?
there’s no sea.
You’re close
I can here
You breath.
So close there’s a heartbeat.
Shadows
In the mirror 
Friend, is that you 
I screamed!
There you are
I reached out 
To touch you
But it was only 
A reflection 
A reflection of me.
11/24/07


Details | Free verse | |

Free Fallin'

My desicion was made. I wouldn't allow myself to be controlled. If that makes me a rebel, then let it be. I'm a Rebel. At least I can Make my own choices now. I can love and care about others. "You are here by stripped from your wings." Then it was like someone had bound my wings and pushed me off a cliff. it felt like forever. til finally i reach the ground. When i hit, it felt like everybone in my wings had shattered. I had fallen. and It hurt so bad. but it was worth it.


Details | I do not know? | |

Ireland

 Oh Ireland i have seen your beauty
 I have seen your hatred too
 I have heard the songs of rebellion
 The war of words,the words of death.
 You remember Pearce,Connolly and Mcbride
 You forget the children who have died
 Died because of your ignorance
 Died,because of you,the people
 Who stand and watch,then turn away
 When will you learn that no-one wins
 In the game of war and hate
 But everybody loses
 For you, is it too late ??


Details | Free verse | |

Quiet Waters

Streams of blue fluid 
Flows downward 
As fragile carcasses decay 
Without a peep of a sound

We’re in the brink of disaster… 

Who invited such fear and anguish?
Who could lead us to quiet waters?

We bleed…
Polluting the waters below us… 
Trickling down the mountain
To our filthy feet…

Cleansing the sin off of our skin
But, it’s tangled from deep within…

The eeriness breaks 
The hearts of a thousand strangers
They all fall away powerlessly… 
Into the chambers of death 

Danger is lurking in every corner…
Pursuing its evil plans
To cut down our hopes…
Growing like crops… 
Rising rapidly –  
It never stops

Dreams of misfortune still 
Rapes our minds,
Plaguing our happiness… 
Consuming the darkness…

We’re sprawling on the ground…
We’re crawling like infants…
Veering briskly like serpents…

Who will set our souls free 
From suppression?  

Who will preserve our hearts?
Don’t prey upon our 
Guiltless lives… 
We’re in complete agony… 
Does He consider 
Our prayers  
Of support and nourishment? 

We scream…
Breaking the repulsive solitude…

Encourage us to keep on 
Trekking toward Your light

Where’s Your path?

You rinse off all of the sorrow 
Giving us a ecstatic tomorrow 

The weeping ceases…
While the corpses 
Tear into 
Blood-spattered 
Pieces…  

The faith of a couple of people
Strengthens us…keeps us motivated…
Not captivated…
In misery…
We’re reaping our 
Ecstasy…   
Leading us to peace and fortune 
Keeping us accustomed
To Your purifying spirit…
Keeping us away from 
Calamity… 

We’re hungry… 
Our demise is close at hand…
Closing in on us abruptly 
Like an obscure cave…

Rescue us from affliction –  
Embracing downhearted clouds…

Those wretched clouds…

Brought us rain when we asked for bread…

Those merciless clouds…

Spewed out scorching fire when we asked for relief…

Remember our supplications… 
Appalling lightning’s daring to strike us  
Out of cruel vengeance 
Out of sheer amusement 

Don’t even attempt to weaken us
We’re blossoming in joy…
We’re under cover… 
You can’t manipulate us 
Like a subtle toy 

We’re praying for
Quiet waters

Offer the deceased 
A second chance

Don’t disown 
Our broken lives

We’re not alone…

We’re just waiting until
The quiet, glistening waters
Gratefully arrives…


Details | Lyric | |

YOU STOPPED LOVING HER TODAY

       YOU STOPPED LOVING HER TODAY
The very least you should expect is emptiness
throughout your lifetime, pain and bitterness
there is no end that you can ever find
to end the never ending struggle in your mind.

They tell you, someday you'll get over it
and as your life goes on you will forget
but dying hearts know that's the thing to say
appeasement to the pass of time and dying day.

How many nights will pain be everything?
There's not a way to stop what love can bring
nor change the way you feel in any light
it's always there part of your life both day and night.

You think on death how peaceful it must be
but dead is what you are and constantly
so lay you down to sleep in any way
and then it can be said, 
.............................you stopped loving her today.
© ron wilson


Details | Verse | |

The curse

When love was tortured
She was silent.
She was repeating words in mind.
Her eyes were looking up at heaven,
And there was no tears sign.

When love was being murdered
She was silent.
She was reminding herself of
All the moments when
She was smiling,
When happiness was real for her.
There was no pain.

When the blood appeared, and
Her last breath was gone,
Thunderstorm and rain came out
From heaven,
Darkness was called to go back to earth.
God cursed people and said:
“You will pay for your sin forever
Without understanding
You will feel nothing
Believing it is real”.


Details | Rhyme | |

A Shameful Few

Chip away at the surroundings,
To get to the spoils inside.
Mindless of devastation,
Or the pain as a nation cries.

Off in a new direction,
The agenda must be upheld.
Global unification?
A very grim fairy tale!

Greed on their back as they pillage,
Warmongers with hue and cry!
Fodder sent home in a wooden box,
As more and more people still die!

Freedom and liberty long gone,
As we are snared in the tellers net.
Peasants and squires of near future.
In the worst game of risk ever yet!

Stolen and lost are our rights
As the parasites hold their heads high!
Choking on lies as they spew their untruths
As to why the next country must die!

Nothing it seems will stop them,
Hell bent on their mission it seems.
The ruination of the world...
As they crush its inhabitants dreams!

Turning on their own people
People they should try and protect.
When that trust is gone it’s all over,
Because what do the people have left?

Civilized nations turned monster
By the leaders consumed with greed
No happily ever after....
Just the planting of evil’s seed!

Chip away at the surroundings,
To get to the spoils inside.
Mindless of devastation,
Or the pain as a nation cries!


Details | I do not know? | |

When I am gone

Whenever I close my eyes, never to see the morning light
ever again, when all things come to an end. 
Whenever I die, will anyone miss me, when I am gone,
before then will my heart ever find true and everlasting love.
would anyone care if they ever see me smile or cry again.
Whenever I close my eyes, wondering will your love save me 
from the pain I have in my heart, from the pain that fills my soul, '
when all things come to an end, who will miss me when I am gone.


Details | Free verse | |

unattempted suicide

Wake me up after I die
drowning myself from these 
streaming eyes
killing my pain so softly within me
sitting here crying,
watching the blood drip down me.
Swollen wrists, why can't I stop?
this pain starves me with every drop
buried under my own skin
its hurting me inside
again and again.
tearing myself under this strain 
continuously crying, pouring out rain
lying under this putrid soul
bleeding so noxiously out of control
becoming so intense, this pain I can't bare
I'm holding on myself, choking out air
breathing so faintly, thinking in despair
this is only a dream, it can't be real.
I'm screaming inside, I can't hide what I feel
lying by myself, waiting for these wounds to heal
gripeing at the blood flowing down my hand
holding it between my fingers
watching it sink between like sand.
Letting myself drown by these tears over flown
helplessly breaking every nerve, every bone
I've fallen into a disaster of my own
leaving myself to die, selfishly all alone.


Details | Free verse | |

A PRICE MUST PAID

I hear them say, I was once a very bad and evil man
I knew of only the way's, i was taught
Now, i know only of the death, and of the blood
I, see it in my eyes, and feel it on my hands
I have never known of the pain, and of the sorrow
That i now feel from the mother's and the father's,
who, cry for their children. those of whom, i have taken
I now only laugh, and bring more pain,
To all who bring the sweet promise of gifts
I sit  here and watch, those of you who think,
only their own shall survive
I bring pain by the thousands folds
To those who buy life and sell only death,
I no longer feel for you.
I won't feel the hate you have for me!
Only the pain which you now bare.
Pain is a reward for he, that has  stolen life
I , now have the reward,
i traded their life's for.


Details | Couplet | |

The Vampire

She was a maiden with long red hair
A delicate monster to a heart filled with fear
Binding as one as he lays on her lap
As if he was taking an eternal nap
Love was strong but the pain was deeper
Did he know that she was a reaper?
The sense of desire was in the room
Complicated emotions felt like doom
A deadly attraction none can resist
The journey to death that couldn’t desist
Darkness overcomes the day
Shadows came and won’t go away
Alienated from the world, embraced in deception
Emptiness covered their hearts as they lived in corruption
He searched for comfort and found peace in her
She held him in her arms wishing they can last forever
Blood flooded up the place
Memories, none to erase
The vampire with a sorrowful heart
A relationship that will break apart
The lovers trap is love and passion
A gentle touch, a painful affection
Hearts slowly dying, one by one
With a suffering that will never be gone

Painting: Vampire (1895) - by Edvard Munch


Details | Free verse | |

Replica

Wielding together artificial meat
No need to conserve this being will keep
Looking through grafted eyes
The creator now smiles
Shamelessly looking at bones made of lies
Once it is born does it speak with a tongue?
Calling out hopefully, am I the one?
It started out walking it skipped all the steps
Its power lacked knowledge deceived by the best
Slaying with anger the others were dust
Running in circles pain filled with must
Confronting the master to find what he was
Hoping to live, but then again who does?


Details | I do not know? | |

Mido Macia 1986 - 2013


Mido Macia 1986 - 2013


Mido Macia was a 27 year old Mozambican man, working in Daveyton near Johannesburg as a taxi-driver, who was found dead in a police cell, after police savagely dragged Mr. Macia whom they had tied to their police van.

The brutal incident of Mr. Macia being dragged was caught on camera and has shocked South Africa.

The 8 police officers involved are facing charges of murder, and have been suspended from the South African Police Service (SAPS).

This poem is an angry poem that I felt had to be written, because as a society, we need to ask ourselves and each other the hardest questions about xenophobia and intolerance and violence.





Mido Macia 1986 - 2013


Death came to Mido Macia,
a savage, brutal, hellish death came to Mido Macia.


Death came to Mido Macia,
death dressed-up in the colours of authority,
as callous, vile, sadistic policemen murdered Mido Macia.


The video-footage is blood-curdling,
Mido Macia being dragged,
his hands tied behind him,
to a police van.


But death came later to Mido Macia,
death cheered, clapped, and tore into Mido Macia.


Death came to Mido Macia,
in the cells where they murdered Mido Macia.



Death came to Mido Macia,
a fuelled, cheered-on, instigated death came to Mido Macia.


We are all culpable,
every one of us is culpable,


from racist 'jokes' emailed and texted,
to self-righteous comments about the 'foreigners',


from casual dinner-table conversations,

'they take our jobs',
'they are crooks' 
the 'they marry our women' kind of lunch-time chats,


racist, xenophobic, hate-filled talk,


to beating a human-being to death in a police cell,


or on the streets of Cape Town, Johannesburg ,

and in Daveyton,

where death came to Mido Macia.



Mido Macia 1986 - 2013




Details | Free verse | |

A Cemetery's condo

Every morning, an overview of death’s tombstones is perched outside my window taunting 
and haunting me with the scent of a hollow kiss.  The worst case is not this thing called death 
but the abuse of love that my parents fill into my bruised soul, a child I am no more but I 
can still remember the time I cried as one and cried and cried until the face of a frustrated 
mother came to ease my pain, and her own unease mind.  Disorder clouded my mind but as 
a child I did not fully understand what these emotions where, for is a mother not there to 
ease her Childs pains, and is a mother not there also to ease her children’s emotional pains.  
I can vouch that my physical pain was eased but spiritually my emotions ran wild like a pack 
of wolfs searching for the hunter who wielded with him the ax grief.  I respect my parents 
like any child should, and I disobey them like any child shouldn’t, but what I feel towards 
them is different than disobedient and anger. It feels as if loath itself is creeping up into my 
heart then into my head like the words of a woman who clouds all sense of reasoning.  I 
laugh but I cannot truly feel happy even when they do try to appease me in the way I want 
to be appeased or so they do think for we never truly speak. I love them; I loathe them, for 
I am an outcast even amongst outcasts for they say they know pain but not all pain is 
physical for trauma has kissed and slept inside my heart but has it done the same in theirs 
also. I shall never know for trauma has chained us into the comfort of its hellish bed and 
sealed our lips like everything that is true in life. I am loath now, I am pain now, I am evil 
incarnate, but I am an evil whose pain and loath seek nothing but the comfort of peace. 
Every morning I wake, and an overview of death’s tombstones is perched outside my 
window taunting and haunting me with the scent of a hollow kiss and I wonder when is the 
day that I will fall prey under the temptation of its kiss. Death is literally around the corner 
for I live by a cemetery’s condo.


* Just a story but i have put SOME of my feelings and my own life experience in there.





Details | I do not know? | |

Untitled

How could something this poisonous be so taunting.
How could something so evil be so evoking.
Drown the battle that I once faced. 
Leave it behind.
Passed storms has come and ruined this mind.
Shackled by theses memories
Engraved in my soul to the very core. I can’t move.
Pain so severed.  Sanity has taken its toll.
Shattered  by the pieces. Shredded to the bone.
For I have become obsolete.
01/01/2013


Details | ABC | |

Lie's

LIE'S ARE BUT DEMON'S OF THE MIND

      WHERE FIERY HATE PLAYS

THE ECHOES OF FROM SOUL THAT RHYME

        EXPRESSIONS DECEIVING WAYS

 

A DECAYED BODY AT THE DEVILS FEET

    WHERE SINISTER THOUGHTS ABIDES

AS A VICTIM OF THE SOULS DEFEAT

     WHERE DISASTER THEN PRESIDES

 

A DAGGER CUTTING AT THE TONG

    THE CONTENTS OF THE HEART

THE DEATHLY ANGELS HAS SUNG

     REVILING EVERY PART

 

A CROW FLYING THE SKY OF DEATH

     WITH IT'S WINGS SPREAD AS-WELL

HER SOUL HAVING ALREADY MET DEATH

    BY THE OTHER CREATOR'S OF HELL


Details | Free verse | |

DECASTICH-THE WISEST ONE

Seeing others doing harmful things,
excessively drinking and using hard drugs,
I say this road is the wisest one
a very prudent individual could ever take, 
hoping that nobody will lay flowers 
on that spot, where a horrible crash may occur.
Perhaps I've been too cautious...
when it comes to save what I hold most precious,
not afflicting useless pain on my body;
only praying to God to safeguard me. 


This afternoon, I visited my niece Crystal in Elmurst Hospital,
as she and her four friends were involved in a bad accident;
the driver, who had a legal alchool level in her blood, crashed 
into a light pole last Sunday morning; were they all drinking?
That's a mere speculation, but this kind of behavior is common
among teenagers; Asia, the driver of the car, is into a coma slowing improving. 
Crystal has a broken leg and fractured pelvis, begging nurses for help; 
and she is in acute pain and can hardly breath. Elisabeth is on a respirator...
due to a blood clot traveling to her lungs; the other two girls have minor injuries.


What does it take for irresponsible drivers not to be under the influence....
avoiding the mourning of a dear one, or even losing their own life?
Not many folks will heed this message...until they face death,
and nothing can be done to prevent them from diying.
Trongs of visitors crowd the hall, to inquire about their condition;
they hear their agony and are unable to help...ah, if they ever could!
So will you take that path which is the wisest one to avoid a possible tragedy,
or continue defying fate until its awfully late to enjoy a full life?
Their parents are as helpeless as I, but our faith makes hope grow...
that these kids will finally understand that a second chance is not given to all.



This horrible accident happened in Woodhaven, Queens, NY on August 15, 2010.


Details | Free verse | |

Pain Sustains Eternally

Once, I entered insanity with nothing and walked away with something can only be explained as knowing everything is perception nothing is real just the really fake and the only power is in that which you create something from nothing a simple knowing no one ever knew me except for what they accepted from everything but the source for I am eternal a nothing existence in an invisible sun everything dead that it touches Your all just figments of my imagination and this whole wide world a small part of my creation just for entertainment I gave you pleasure never could measure any ounce of belief because the image only ever existed as a small internal knowing I knew it was there I know I existed while your living only through my cancerous cells Words hurt, and pain kills too many problems two little pills no more sorrow it serves no use no one cares when they feel abuse words build into a sentence as many lines lead me to finish a guilty closure, a salty sweet that can't maintain as words to be I close my eyes, to nod away the pain sustains, eternally.


Details | Free verse | |

18

The light of dawn
How sweet it be
Waiting for mornings first light
The stripes of orange and gold
Drown out the retreating blue and silver
Driving away the night
Letting the day come at last
Then creatures of day
Come out to play
While some remorseful humans
Wish the day had never come
To cause them strife
To cause them pain
Wgen the night had comforted their sorrows
The mystery of their hearts known by darkness
No flesh and blood understands
What pain is to us
Only demons and spirits
Know our silences  cries
Taste the salt of our tears
See our scarred bodies
Feel the pain in our hearts
Hear the damned voiices in our head
Touch the cold blade against warm flesh
Forget the pain
Lose yourself to bloods ecstasy
The sight the feel
It becomes a want, a need
To be rid the pain within
But before we can extend the damage
Few find a someone
Special to our weary hearts
They make us feel wanted
Something never felt before
And very few of us find that little thing called love
Something few of us acheive
Our feelings of death come no more
As we sit in lovers arms
Feel the warmth reside within
Fluttering heart and pulsing beat
Of his and mine
What sweet harmony


Details | Verse | |

Lost in a Memory


" Lost in a Memory"
Written by: Rodney Riggins

Can't forget I hate to concentrate
got to remember before it's to late.
Mind in a brainstorm hear sirens and 
loud alarms to paranoid to stay calm
my memory is lost and gone.

Lost in a brainstorm lost in a memory
brains all gone lost in a cemetery. The 
world has raped me making me hate me
my mind has escaped me still it's a memory.
Violence I crave for death makes me crave
more love sex I'm a man whore a dog on
all fours

My mind is shot to hell my memory fails
as well my energy go to hell my thinking
now is dead. Trapped in a lost brain which
drives me insane the pain i with stain from
thinking now it's drained

Kill me quick kill me fast mind is dead not
gonna last pull the plug I'm leaving fast if
not I'll kill you then I'll laugh.

My memory has failed me I'm my own
enemy death is my only friend life 
wasn't meant for me. Memory is gone
forever pain will be eternity for those
who read this poem hope they can learn
from me.


Details | Free verse | |

Deadly Valentine

These red flames of the burning sun, 
remind me of my everlasting hell.

My skin melts and falls rotten, 
like spoiled fruits that grow old.

Tormented daily by thoughts of you, 
like fire its burning inside my soul.

You move slowly in my head, 
making my dead brain itch.

I feel pain in every limb, 
pins and needles poke me.

I am unable even to smile; 
my muscles have stopped obeying me.

If this pain goes on, I will go numb, 
because my senses are slowly dying.

My blood boils with my impossible desires, 
of seeing your beautiful face again.

I have lost my ability to dream, 
through all my sleepless nights.

I cry for you night and day, 
my tear drops have turned to blood.

Everything around me has died out, 
plants have turned black, and music has turned into silence.

All colors have faded away, 
just like the leaves of autumn.

And like my skin has become rigid, 
my soul has become weak and hollow.

My heart wrapped by razor wire, 
I know soon enough it will stop.

Hammers beating through my chest, 
even my lungs have abandoned me.

What is life if not with you; 
an empty shell lost in the sea.

I wish if you were here with me, 
without you my heart stops to beat.

And all my memory has been erased, 
except of the day that you left.

And there’s not enough roses I can collect, 
to sweeten the smell of your grave.

My sweet love, oh my sweet remorse, 
we were supposed to go together.

But I am condemned to live, 
with the memory of your death.

And every February 14th, 
your image like knives stabs my heart.

Misery has already taken my life, 
so what is the point of my existence.

Today is when I take my life, 
as a memory of our deadly valentine.


Details | Lyric | |

The Time Has Come To Tell The Tale

The Time Has Come to Tell the Tale…

As all stories begin; a long, long time ago many years removed from now
My memory recalls events from the age of two, when the bullets took the life
Of a good man, an honest man, and what would this world need with that? 
We’re built on lies from the foundation up and there is no room for an honorable man
Led by the hand we’re all parts in the play, pieces to a puzzle still unbuilt
We take our pain like the victors to the grave, though our silence must be broken
Unspoken words may rhyme, but will it be enough that you can read between the lines
Grasp the meaning to the vagueness as it is spelled in black and white…

The never-ending trauma of past events that have done far more harm than good
No lesson learned, no explanation ever given, no apologies ever offered or accepted
And the pain again returns to haunt me, because I know things would not be the same
And what difference it all makes now is the battle I continue to fight each day
Few chances given, even fewer taken, so many risks I have never run
Where has loyalty ever gotten anyone, in this day and age where deeds die with the day?
Held back by the inhibitions that were inbred into my way of thinking… 



Details | I do not know? | |

A Deadly, Sinful Game

Some days
It just seems so hard to breath,
As if the world is reaching out
To get a firmer grip on your throat.

Now sit back and take a note.
Listen as I shout;
Getting the response I wish to achieve,
As it all falls into place.

You are growing scared,
But I do not stop.
You will see my pain
In which the world has caused.

I have paused. 
I yank hard on your chain,
Hearing your neck pop
And your vision is impaired.

LISTEN!
I shout louder,
Getting my point across;
Making my pain known.

It is finally shown.
You are the cause;
A coward.
The blood glistens.

My pain is gone,
It went with you.
You were a pawn,
In this game for two.

I played and I won.
Victory is mine. 
Now the game is done;
I've made my sign.

Now when it feels hard to breath,
When the world has you on your knees,
Begging for mercy
And you plead, 
Know that my pain
That I held in
Was caused by none other
Than a sin
Made in the game...

I have nothing to gain...


Details | I do not know? | |

For Tomorrow may never come...

Life is like a circle, 
An uncomprehended term
A moment of light followed by;
A shadow of darkness.

Life is nature's gift,
A thing to be cherished, as long as you hold 
So live life to its fullest while at its midst
What ever time you have now is yours, 
For Tomorrow you may never know.

Life is a treasure for those who know it,
For some its a pain but to others; its whole
For those like me whose days are done,
Can only hope,
For tommorow may never come.

Hearts broken, tears of pain
A whisper of love that lingers in my heart
A pain so unbearable, an unliftable curse 
I know i cannot love you and commit my self, 
For You must move on with this journey called life.

My time here is done, 
What i ask for, is what cannot become.
My life i've lived for giving, helping others was my ideal.
Now that i've done what i came for,
It is my time to move on,
This maybe my one last moment to hold,
To me there is no tomorrow.


Details | Rhyme | |

She and I

From the ablaze of thunder
They all flew;
In front the doors of hell
There stood the crew 
Asking for a little bit of mercy 
Wanting it to be so true…
Ceasing the demons from stabbing another soul
Is what I want to do
But hatred and anger 
What only grew 
Ceaseless nights and the darkest lights
Have got into my heart
I smile and I laugh though
I just want my day to be oh so bright…
I'm losing my friend
God I don’t want this to end 
Nonsense words were spoken above 
Because of this idea that I hate so much 
I'm still losing my friend 
And my faith in god is what will end…
He's taking her away 
I need her badly to stay 
I look into her eyes and cry
And wish it's me who is gona die… 
The moment I knew 
The breeze of fear 
The touch of pain 
Have dropped on my soul again
I wanted to scream 
I wished it was a dream 
God this is so mean…
I'm tearing really hard 
On my life I want a guard 
A guard to help me live again 
And cease each and every pain 
I want to erase my every sin 
Please god help me win 
My weary soul can hold no more 
Just help her live 
And give her faith 
And get her smile back to her face
Every night I pray alone 
And remain awake until its dawn 
I sit on the piano and play 
And let my tears free each night 
And each day 
My heart is very weak 
And I will soon
 Become so bleak 
If this is how life is meant to be 
Then what am I and she to thee..?
If this is the way you want to rule 
don’t you think it's quiet cruel..?
If in pain and agony you want me to dive 
Then why do you want me still alive..?
I'm your worshipper and you're my knight 
Please keep her close I want to hold her tight 
My constant tears will dry so soon 
And you'll see me walking blindly to my doom 
Why does happiness never last; 
Why does it have to fade so fast?
Keep her god; 
I want her near
Keep her god; 
I want her here… 
I'm so tired my dear… 
 


Details | Blank verse | |

We Are Hate

I am, the cold that you fear in your heart
I say, die, death, and pain is the only way out
I see, the fire surrounding her house
I fear, their screams as I laugh in the midst of their shattered hearts
I feel, the pain that sweeps through every nation and replace it with bloodlust
I touch, the gun that will end their lives
I am, Deception

I am, the fire that seeps into her soul
I cry, as I realize the pain has started to end
I worry, as I look upon the healing of this nation
I wonder, how this could be so?
I pretend, that the pain I had provided will soon come back
I understand, their confusion is just as mine
I am, Rage

I am, the bloodlust that festers in the bowls or her heart
I want, her to cry out in pain
I will, come back if not today then tomorrow
I try, as hard as they let me to come and shatter their world
I hope, their pain will lead into their demise
I dream, about it because that’s all I can do
I am, Anger
We are Hate


Details | I do not know? | |

shooting stars

The waves of hatred and defeat
Go crashing into the rocky shore
With the sands of love and peace
Before you leave you must teach
The world what you have learned
For when you rise angels by your sides
You will take the worlds concerns

What you teach whether it wisdom or beseech
The knowledge you have earned
Let it wisen you further
Complete you with the gift
You have given unto the world
And when you fly
Saying your last goodbyes
Much the world has learned
So take this poem to
Consider or concern

For soon you rise 
You have the choiceof just how far you get
The angels cry
With weepy eyes
 forever in your debt

Choose wisely young one
Before your light is out
It flits and flickers some
Unsure, much in doubt

Take hold, control
Your future is bright
Leave your past behind
Leave it out of sight

Don't lie forgotten
Forever unaware
Of the time and its passing
Please, your thoughts you must share

Your light turned out
Your time is up
Your choice must be made
In white you rise
Your flight to the skies
As the stars in the night fade

The waves of hatred and defeat
Go crashing into the rockey shores
With the sands of love and peace
As the stars in the night soar


Details | Ballad | |

Summer

Summer's late,
I am left here to die, 
Stuck in a phase, 
And time wouldn't fly. 
Asking me to change, 
What do I be?
More like you?
What's in it for me?
Do I be a two faced man,
Or a ten tongued woman,
I'd rather be,
Alone & Inhuman,
She's selling my soul,
She's getting her gold. 
She's got an endless greed,
More of me she needs. 
A soulless man,
I do what I can,
Kill me now, 
Like you kill my men,
Kill me in the middle of my dream,
So, I won't feel the pain. 
If you see me in a piece,
Shoot me again. 
Summer's near,
For her it's a fear,
She has to now bear me,
For I will be near,
In her home,
And on her bed,
While she's dreaming of others,
Inside her head. 
Asking me to change,
This summer breathes a new life,
Look at her face,
Doesn't look like my wife,
She's already found,
Another man,
I'm a soulless body,
I did what I can. 
Shoot me now,
While I'm alive,
Let me watch my blood,
Can't take anymore of this world. 
All the kids playing outside,
Oblivious of this ride,
This ride called life, 
Death is my wife. 
Summer's far,
I am closer to death hour,
Do I bury my grave,
Am I so brave?
Or do I find a rope,
My only hope, 
One thing agreed,
By all the wise,
Suicide,
The best advice. 
Let this summer,
Take away my life,
And breathe one in her,
My beautiful wife. 
I have nothing to live, 
I have no place to stay,
Where is the light,
I don't see the end of my day. 
I've got her by my side,
I'm promised her the best ride,
She's smiling,
So hard, I know she's pretending.
So, I take a gun,
Shoot her in the head. 
I promised her,
This one last ride,
A beautiful death,
To my beautiful bride,
Drifting away,
Into the Sunset, 
Love is an illusion,
Built in your head. 
Shut all the voices,
Shoot yourself instead. 
Summer's here,
And I am not there.
The price for her lie,
We've both died. 
She's getting her gold. 
She's got an endless greed,
More of me she needs. 
A soulless man,
I do what I can,
Kill me now, 
Like you kill my men,
Kill me in the middle of my dream,
So, I won't feel the pain. 
If you see me in a piece,
Shoot me again. 
Summer's near,
For her it's a fear,
She has to now bear me,
For I will be near,
In her home,
And on her bed,
While she's dreaming of others,
Inside her head. 
Asking me to change,
This summer breathes a new life,
Look at her face,
Doesn't look like my wife,
She's already found,
Another man,
I'm a soulless body,
I did what I can. 
Shoot me now,
While I'm alive,
Let me watch my blood,
Can't take anymore of this world. 
All the kids playing outside,
Oblivious of this ride,
This ride called life, 
Death is my wife. 
Summer's far,
I am closer to death hour,
Do I bury my grave,
Am I so brave?
Or do I find a rope,
My only hope, 
One thing agreed,
By all the wise,
Suicide,
The best advice. 
Let this summer,
Take away my life,
And breathe one in her,
My beautiful wife. 
I have nothing to live, 
I have no place to stay,
Where is the light,
I don't see the end of my day. 
I've got her by my side,
I'm promised her the best ride,
She's smiling,
So hard, I know she's pretending.
So, I take a gun,
Shoot her in the head. 
I promised her,
This one last ride,
A beautiful death,
To my beautiful bride,
Drifting away,
Into the Sunset, 
Love is an illusion,
Built in your head. 
Shut all the voices,
Shoot yourself instead. 
Summer's here,
And I am not there.
The price for her lie,
We've both died. 


Details | Free verse | |

Torn

A bridge in maze through shift it gaze

Torn

From pillars being built in monuments to the sun;
A mouth to live yet viable led scorn,
In truth will learn as chivalry turn to worst;
Born under a bad sign in rudimentary fragmented parts...

Sheer brilliance led to essential eloquence,
Supernatural...
Torn,
I see a gate negate to climb

In distant fervor swept from behind
One in twain yet marked on its blotted page fully intact;
The deception lies in you amidst a shade of thorns,
Branded by ivy delusional thought provoking pitch,

A mind blinded lying headlong in a ditch...

In sunlight we gasp for air through pillars in illustrative thought
Torn between the world I know
Then to escape into the one I wish to go
A soul harvest to its plain;

The ghastly pitch lest I refrain again,

The light on the charitable offering still shines;
A tongue in cheek sublime rhyme,
Fought back its silence to numb its pain escape
A slide to cope in a favorable episode explode;
With no shelter to cry the outset of the fall
In silence its refusal of the slight of hand
To once again greet the average no it all
Fought back its silence to numb its pain once again
To shine in episodes of discipline within
Higher elements of discomfort & scorn
Torn

A bridge of light once again  to push away its pain within
A slope to cope a guard to wear;
Briars and silence amidst harlots with pain
The toll of lost lovers let lose in my brain
Torn
In episodes of anger
In the creative reply to things;
In destination of negate vile authority
Blinded by things that don't even please
Torn

~
Socialized wandering wizards in a heavy garb of compromise

Devastation in mass anhiliation the saga of paradise lost
Torn
With heads of state in vile treatment of hate
No sense to delegate or leave it up to fate!
~
Torn


Details | Blank verse | |

Draw a Picture in the Blood

If you live in the memories you’ll never see the future.
They say don’t make history repeat but it always does.
They tell you to choose your friends wisely but you can’t.
You can’t change the future, so just draw a picture in the blood.

I’ll keep on living in the past, and I’ll wonder:
Where did all the music go? Where did all the time go?
Where did all the love go? Where did all the thought go?
If I shut my eyes, will it still be the same?
When I open them again, will anything remain?
If I open the gate of stars looking for the answers, I know I won’t find any,
So I’ll just draw a picture in the blood.

War is a harsh creature; the only thing it makes is death.
If I move on I’ll lose the memories, the precious memories,
Of all those good times we had.
So I’ll just sit here dwelling in the past so I won’t forget.
I’ll always live the memories again and again
Because I can always remember if I
Draw a picture in the blood.

Death’s pain is unforgiving; you can’t know it until you’ve felt it.
There’s no way that you can win so just stop.
All you can ever get, all you can ever feel, is regret, so why try?
Why risk losing the memories, never to find them again,
If you can relive the good ones?
Why bother moving on, all you’ll find is another harsh time.
I couldn’t bear living through it again,
Replacing you is impossible because there is no match.
If there was, losing you again would kill me.
So I’ll stay safe from the pain and 
Draw a picture in the blood.

Pictures of my memories! When times were good,
Before I left, before you died.
Before the wisdom lied, when happiness reined my life. 
That happiness is exactly what you’ll see if you come and look at the
Pictures I’ve drawn in the blood.











Details | Free verse | |

Atrocity

 Landscape of Hiroshima about eight-thirty a.m.                                                               After the death angel Enola Gay turns away                                                                 she gave birth to the little boy as fiery rolling smoke starts clearing                             Etched upon a wall a boy and girl playing with a ball                                                          Those there could not see it for their eyes were melted                                                      A city meshed with death blood iron and rock                                                                    A three year old boy partially dripping skin cry’s for mom                                                   But a twelve year old girl looks unharmed but within days                                         Poisoned by death’s light she withers away                                                                    As you pull back from this horrific seen                                                                            It only magnifies for a hundred thousand plus                                                                   Stench smoldering flesh mingled with everything                                                          The land of sun lays beneath a blanket of death                                                                A city leveled by little boys fierce foul breath                                                                 And then aftermath for years later                                                                             Countless children die or are born defective   


Details | Free verse | |

How Do I Let You Go

What will be
Will be!
I know of this, first hand
Your life was taken away
So abruptly!
I will 
Never forget
That day!
Till the day 
My body dies
And
I am with you, again!

“How was I to prepare myself?”
With 
That kind of 
Life changing, event!
You 
Didn't warn me 
You
Were permanently leaving!
I hope 
You know 
How much “I love you”
Know
You will never be forgotten!

I don’t know 
What 
Has got into me!
Consciously
I feel you
Inside me
I see images
Of your face 
So clearly!
Am I crazy 
To believe in this, my love?

“Are you still with me?”
“Is my imagination 
Playing cruel tricks
Running rampant
As
I talk with you
As if 
You were by my side, right now

In my heart and mind
Your face etched
Imprinted
Like a blue print
That never fades
Your foot prints 
Still remain, beside me
My heart beats
Eternally
Trying to make sense of everything!

Forgive me, my love
For being so strong in my feeling
For it has been a long time
Since I lost you, my friend
Something 
I haven’t
Quite
Got over!

My heart 
Having 
A mind of its own
Aching 
To be with you, still!
To see you
To smell you
To touch you
To taste you
One
Last time!

I want to say “Goodbye” 
Once and for all!
As 
We have
Brought out
The best and worst 
In each other
Rivers run deep
When it comes to you and me!

We have had our fair share of fights and arguments
Stubborn disagreements
All of them
Meaningless
Now
You cease to exist!

I miss your lingering touches
Your hand, stroking my face
Your big, blue eyes
Looking into mine
Your warm lips
Your rough, unshaven face 
The way you
Passionately
Kiss me
While
We make love, till dawn

I miss
All those nights
You kept me 
Safe and warm!
I miss
Your
Loving embrace
I miss
Your
Reassurance!
“Am I ever going to feel the same, with another?”
Just
As 
I felt
In your arms, my love?

How
Do I let you go?
How
Do I set myself, free?
I am ready
To love, again!
With 
‘Our eternal love’
Supporting
And 
Guiding me
Especially
In times, like these!


Details | I do not know? | |

Secret shame

I have this secret
left untold
and to tell or leak it,
I'm not bold.
It's about me
and I carry its shame,
I'm too afraid to
give this thing name.
When I was young,
a little lad small still
I had a taste of poisins
sweetest kill.
I thought it pleasure
such sin to fullfill.
I'm now penitent,
but given to its will.
It shaped my nature
and held captive my thoughts,
creating imaginings that never
should have ought.
It grew worse
as I gave in to curse
that sickens me
in ways I cannot verse,
I wish to ask your help
but than I'd have to tell . . .
and that I cannot do
secret silenced my yell.
I cry alone and noone
could ever concieve the death
that empties me,
until im left with breath
and heartbeat,
but no will to live,
because my secret
killed what I had to give . . .


Details | I do not know? | |

answer me this Jessy Clay Riddle

Answer me this
do you enjoy watching pain 
do you enjoy watching suffering
I fell in love 
but that means nothing to you
my heart broke
you never gave me a chance
I tried to make it work
was it never meant to be
you turned your back on me 
left me lying in my misery
to cry in pain an beg for you to come back
I know it wont happen 
you’ve probably found someone else
you must be happy
while I sit here depressed
the blade cuts deeper every time I think of you
soon it will pierce my heart
its sunken in
my heart will bleed for you
you’re the last thing I remember
such a happy memory
stained with reality
as the blood drains
my heartbeat fades away
I'm happy now
so close to you
its just a dream I awake
to face the pains of another day


Details | Free verse | |

Save Me From Decay

You'd looked at me, and said,
"Why?"
And you know what I wanted to say?

I love you. Always have,
Always will,
And it's really sad to say-

We've been fighting-
too much lately
And I never get a break

This,
mixed with everything else,
Is getting harder to work with every day

So I take my pain out this way,
As punishment-
For my mistakes

Instead, I said,
"There's too much going on;
This is how I take the pain away."

Which is almost truth,
But even so,
It's not what I wanted to say

So I did it again,
As part of my plan,
Because I lied, again, today

Lier and cheat,
But in discreet,
Just nasty all the way

It's what I've become,
And all I've done,
Is let it progress in every way

Satan's control,
Is too strong not to hold,
So he manipulates my soul, and it's decay

Only your hold,
Could steal my soul,
But you're too blind, with priorities aray

Keen, quick, and smart,
Your skills are an art,
But your sensitivity doesn't work the same

Oblivious to others' emotions,
Gives the strong notion, that you only care for yourself,
And none other remain

But it's not true,
They're blind to the true you,
And it's driving me insane

Your better than that,
Amazing, at that,
And I never want you to change

Please save me from this,
You're the only thing that could dismiss,
This anxiety in my brain

I will be gone,
For a time, really long,
Unless you save my soul from decay

Because when everyone's gone,
And I feel lost and gone,
You stay on my mind, all the same


Details | Rhyme | |

Taken By Depression

Why do I feel so very down?
Is this feeling going to last a long time?
I cannot laugh nor even a smile,
I hope the pain fades in a while.
My heads messed up, I cannot think,
Should i pop some pills or heavily drink?

I'm tired of *****like this,
I'm sure my chap is taking the Piss!!
Why is he doing this to me,
Flirting with my friends recently?
He says he loves me but does he I wanna know?
If he doesn't then **** it I'll just pack up and go.

I don't want to hurt anymore,
My life feels like one big chore.
I may aswell end it, no-one wants me here,
At least then my head will finally be clear.

I guess now is the time for me to go cos I cant feel any lower
than low.
I don't know if I'm ready to die but at least I will be with the Angels in the sky.

So goodbye to you all, I know I will see you again,
Finally I'm free...I see the light...Theres no more pain.


Details | Free verse | |

Alongside Agony

Provided that I no longer sigh
Any bloodcurdling curses
Whereby I have to flee my ease:
Neither my voice, nor my tongue,
Nor the deep sleep in my skin
Do save me power for this dimm’d wrought trip.
Then, needless to cram my dreary lyrics
With the bird songs of painful nights;
As no time is there for me to tear
Wicked pages in people’s awful pride.
Shall I cede my cosmic glimpses 
Striving overly those folk myths;
Or maybe keep closely every single far
Glittering dream by my tender side?
It is only when I sing the nightfall
Must the fierce wall disappear,
Dancing by those dusty fractures
Splitting all its standing rocks.
Save my grief I can nothing grieve
Back to the endless road of hope;
Where no fuel still rises waging
Warlike screams of my wordy brief breath.


Details | Free verse | |

Fin

She turns up the music to hide the sobs
Blade meets wrist for a final encounter
Red tears come streaming, staining the ground as they fall
Silence encompasses the room despite all of the noise


Details | Rhyme | |

Together in paradise

What just happened is something that can't be undone.
A mugger tried to shoot you but I jumped in front of the gun.
I couldn't let you die, that's why I took the bullet for you.
It was a good choice even though you think it was stupid to do.
The shooter tried to run but he didn't get away.
The cops just grabbed him and now he will pay.
In just a moment, I'll be gone.
I will die but your life will go on.
I couldn't have lived without you because you've been my beloved wife.
Someday we'll be together in Heaven, that will be worth sacrificing my life.
I'm in a great deal of pain as I lie here bleeding.
I feel so cold and my heart is about to stop beating.
But if I had it to do over again, I would do it without thinking twice.
Please always remember that one day we'll be together in paradise.


Details | I do not know? | |

Finally

Fun. Having fun,
and playing, just
freedom, freedom.
Youth, children and,
completely free.

Time moving fast.
Forcing: pushing.
Falling not 
able to stop.
Dying, slowly
inside: dying.

Pain; the sharpness,
Tearing, ripping.
Welcoming the
Pain. Crimson
Staining my clothes
Running down my 
Skin. And more, more
Pressure… harder.

Dizzy, dizzy
really dizzy.
But still pressing
harder and deeper. 
Blood flowing fast. 
And the pain; the
unbearable
torture it’s nice.

Slipping deeper,
into the dark.
The beautiful
abyss that is
death. Finally. 


Details | Rhyme | |

What is Blood?

 A sharp blade of an emotional mess
The tears of other creatures from horrible success
Our hearts under the soil of an angel's wings that are blessed
And the redness always leaks from hearts fading more and more less

Sometimes it bursts and sometimes it hides
More Importantly the pain rises inside
From living the happy color to flowing out the word why
The truth becomes amazing to happy smiles that dies

Melting in the shadows to living very strong
Hearts like the music of pain living long
Something deep inside that's farther then gone
Tombstones defines the moments of rest in peace songs

Blood is anything that your hearts and tears can agree on.




Details | Lyric | |

Save Me From Desperation

My golden one you're burning out of sight
I try to follow your light
This darkness pulls and pushes me away
But our love will never wane
Despite all of the pain

You rapture me from my own mind
When the razor calls me back
Tell me these are all just lies
Only illusions from my mind 

Deterring the pain away
I'm with you
There's nothing more to say

Paradise is mine 
You Save me from desperation
And I will fulfill all of your adorations
You save me from desperation
Nobody is in vain
Though my life lived a lie
You save me from desperation

Our starcrossed world 
Destroyed by the ones who run from reality
Condemn us you may
But love will always find it's way
You're worth it to be called mine
Evenour bond is crime

Begin the decay
There's no more to say
Eden's Heart separated us from the start
You're all I need to be free
Nobody is in vain
So you found my meaning

(chorus)
Deterring the pain away
I'm with you
There's nothing more to say

Paradise is mine 
You Save me from desperation
And I will fulfill all of your adorations
You save me from desperation
Nobody is in vain
Though my life lived a lie
You save me from desperation

Advocate Angel from above
I put my heart in your hands
I've fallen too deep
A way to fulfill our love is what I seek

I'm suffering, dying, trying
To live but there's no life
Without you 

Deterring the pain away
I'm with you
There's nothing more to say

Paradise is mine 
You Save me from desperation
And I will fulfill all of your adorations
You save me from desperation
Nobody is in vain
Though my life lived a lie
You save me from desperation


Details | I do not know? | |

Alone

I am thrown into a wilderness of my own solitude.
I am lost and scared.
My mind and body are hungry.
What once nourished my soul is gone.
I fall to my knees.
I try to stand, but I am too weak.
I cry for help, but no one can hear me.
No one is there.
I am alone.


Details | I do not know? | |

Trying

there’s darkness all around me
so thick that I can’t see
all my life means nothing
I can’t take it being me

I take some pills 
but you stop me
I try again
and you commit me

I hide a knife from the nurse
and hoping she doesn’t see
what I’m about to do
please let me be


Details | Rhyme | |

Jesus Died for Everyone

Jesus Died For Everyone! Jesus died on the cross for you me! So we can be with him throughout eternity. His life for ours… A ransom was paid IN FULL! Through his shed blood, we’re made whole! Upon his head were placed the crown of thorns. Enduring so much ridicule and scorn. The blood from his body as it began to flow. His love for mankind clearly showed! Nails were placed through his feet and hands! The pain he went through, is hard to understand. His life for ours, is what he gave! A way to eternal life, in heaven, has been made! By Jim Pemberton


Details | Free verse | |

The Face of Death in the Eyes of the Human Mind

When we see the face of death
We run without thinking why he is here
Normally we don’t know what happens 
After the heart finally stops beating its 
Rhythmic race after years upon years

Our hearts begin to race as he gets close
We start to pray to our own higher power
‘Lord please if you take me do not let me
Feel the pain that I am imagining now amen’

As he holds his scythe he glides closer and 
Closer picking and choosing whom is next 
On the list to die tonight no one knows at 
That moment if they will die or survive to see 
The sun rise in the sky the next morning

What are we to do in the meantime while 
He torments the living who have a sickness
Of the body mind or soul we pray again
Please do not take me from my family that 
Needs my help to survive 

And again another life is spared by his 
choosing but not all of our prayers and
pleas will be answered by the one above 

there are a few who choose to let the 
scythe come down and rip out our soul 
and then the heart stops we pass into 
the next world or we watch the pain 

Tear the hearts of our loved ones apart 
Then we slowly start to realize something... 

‘To celebrate death is actually to celebrate life itself’


Details | Prose Poetry | |

The Maiden

There once was a fair maiden 
Who sat on a pedestal up high? 
With raven locks and eyes of ice blue 
But a heart of stone 
For a love she once knew. 
The prince he was 
Unintentional love doomed by above 
So she was shunned and locked away 
So to the ledge she did run. 
Tears rolling down her fair cheeks 
Too distraught to form words to speak 
She raised her head to the sky above 
And screamed why him? 
Why my one true love? 
As the last word left her lips 
She took that final step 
Down she fell onto the cliffs below 
No sound did she make 
  
Nothing, not even a goodbye.


Details | Rhyme | |

Big Boys Don't Cry

Big boys don't cry they say 
But that is simply not true 
For I have shed a million tears 
Since the day that I lost you
It's been a year now since you were called away 
I will always remember the sadness of that day 

I did what was expected of me 
Of a strong and loving son that you wanted me to be 
I held up straight and tall 
My emotions unseen to all 
But my tears flowed free the moment I was alone 
To see your loving face once more I would give all that I own 

Friends wonder how I'm doing now 
As if the pain would disappear somehow 
They don't see my grief and despair 
But it is always there, seen in my lonely silent stare
With each day that passes the pain ebbs and flows 
Comforted by wonderful memories that took a lifetime to sow

I remember your gentle touch 
How you loved me so very much 
I see your smile, the laughter dancing in your eyes
And I marvel at how swiftly time flies
Looking back to when I was a mere child at your knee
Of all the times you comforted and rescued me 

From shadows in the dark, to bullies at the park
Through scrapes and bumps and loves first thumps
Kisses and hugs at graduation 
The looks of total adoration
You were always there, taking care of me 
Guiding and molding me into the man I would be

All of these memories and so many more 
Are forever and ever lovingly stored 
They help ease this pain that I feel all the time
Because you are always on my mind 
Don't worry Mom, I'll be alright 
Soon the darkness will fade leaving only your light 

I know you'll be waiting for me up above 
Until then I know you'll watch over me with love
So until that day when I am in your arms once more 
I will treasure all the memories that I have stored 
So I will say so long, for it's not truly goodbye 
For you are always alive deep in my mind's eye


Details | Free verse | |

I Still Love You

I still love you
Buried six foot under
Life no more
Risking my heart
Everything, I have ever known!
Letting you go
Eighteen years of panache and tears
‘Loyalty’ because 

‘I Still Love You’

At a cross roads
Changes of initiation
Giving in, risking all
Trading this pain in
Making my heart whole
Know by saying goodbye
And, letting you go
Know, for an eternity

‘I Still Love You’


Details | Free verse | |

The dead sea

i feel as if i am drowning
gasping for air 
the dead float all around me 
and in moments i am engulfed
drowned by the pain within me
a pain worse than death
the pain of being alone 
in a sea of the dead
and still the wave of pain rises over my head 


Details | Free verse | |

Duster

Eyes are the very centre of being: within their deepest gaze, love
Can be reflected and above all: the most vibrant spark of life.
Eyes can give a look of scorn, or frustration, resent or desperation, simple and innocent joy or contentment.

We can look into eyes, and see all life has to offer;
I do not think another look shall be seen…

I promised you would feel no pain in your dreamy rest.
I promised all the heavy breathing that burdened your flame and
Pure energy; I promised you would breath again.

And so you do, breathe forever as the wind.
You form the wisp of air that passes my face
And the gust of rain that patterns the night,
The breeze of summer that will ease my grief
And the movement of clouds and the skies.
But never will I forget, those cries of fear
As I, oblivious, took you outside in the cold.

There’s no pain as great as a memory
But I will cling to these memories
Till I too, am a breath in the wind.

11/11/2013


Details | I do not know? | |

Life Abandoned Me

In this cold wintery night,
I am falling apart,
Blood is all around me, 
When I am lying here,
With a broken heart.

The pain is harsh,
The moan is low,
The floor is cold,
Chilling me from head to toe.

The life I loved so much,
Is abandoning me here,
Alone I am lying,
Death standing with me near.

I can sight angels,
With arms open wide,
And a smile on face,
But still I cried.

The pain is too much,
Cannot stand it now,
I'm shouting in agony,
Maybe its time to bow,
Before death.

I am bleeding my grief,
And I am fragile,
I want this to be a relief,
But it is futile.

But now it is too late,
The world which was shining once,
Is now darkening, 
There is nothing except silence.
And now I am going down,
And down,
And down.


Details | Rhyme | |

There Shall Come A Great Tribulation

There Shall Come A Great Tribulation!

You’ll find In the Bible... 
In the book of Revelation.
One day... There shall come
 a great tribulation.

There shall be famine and war 
this world has never seen.
"Satan's fury" being poured 
out upon everything.

The Antichrist will appear 
as "the world leader."
"The man with all of the answers."  
"A great world healer."

People won't be able to buy or sell
 without a mark on their hand.
While corruption and wickedness 
prevails throughout the land.

Our only hope and answer during 
much chaos and anxiety.
Is Jesus.  In HIM we can 
have life abundantly!

This world shall one day 
perish and pass away.
 God's truth and his word are here to stay!

Come to Jesus now... 
He invites you to come.
Accept the gift of eternal life 
from God's precious son!

He's our only hope in this
 world which we live.
He is so patient and kind... 
willing to forgive.

Will your name be in God's 
book of life someday?
Are you ready to meet him on judgment day.

This world... or Jesus... the choice
 by you must be made.
The price for your soul... 
on Calvary... has been paid!

By Jim Pemberton


Details | Classicism | |

HE LIED

Head in the sand, 
Hands tied back,
Heart on the ground,
Have what I lacked

Every lie told
Every word spoke
Each little touch
Each making me choke

Letting my tears flow
Laying on the ground
"Let me die here"
"Let me please never be found"

I never wanna love
I never wanna hurt another
I hate this heart
I can't take cover

Each heartbeat hurts
Every breathe kills
Even the look burns
Even tried poppin' pills

Didn't change things
Didn't fix it at all
Damned them with words
Damn me away I crawl


Details | I do not know? | |

Blood red


Bullets flying and thousands
dying, this is truly terrifying.
Through a blood red angry
mist. Most are no more, shot
down to a blood red soaked
floor. Some are missed yet
engulfed in the aftermath. An
abyss of death, truly blood red
wishing they too were dead.


Details | I do not know? | |

Untitled

I wish I could 
Go back to being five.
When life was easier
And every thing was 
ABC’s and one two three’s.
Now I’m older
Constantly 
Getting caught up 
Into lies and deceit.
Little did I know
That even the sweet ones
Will come and go.
And I hold on
To where I don’t belong.
Reaching out for a hand
That isn’t there.
Resting my head 
In the depths of despair.
03/01/09


Details | Quatrain | |

A Lonely Path

A lonely path, in the dark it moves on It meanders within the deep, dense fog Along the way there are many roses Some of which lay on an old decayed log Twenty-seven in all, each an angel All of which had their life cut way too short An ending that was abrupt and so quick Tears run down my face I sadly report No more is there any children’s laughter The families weep while in such great pain It seems that when things like this do happen The days are always darkest in the rain May we can console them as best we can Light a candle in honor of these few If we could all band together as one And show our love, this is all we can do
Russell Sivey Dedicated to all the victims of the Newtown tragedy! Entrant into SKAT- AB SIN THE-'s "In Memory of the 20 + 7 new angles of heaven~ "our own little poetry soup VIGIL"" contest 12/19/2012


Details | Free verse | |

The Rose

This immortal rose that lovers seek
will be glimpsed by all in youthful peak
for her presence will be on every corner.

And those who confuse that heady perfume
with a lust for love,
will only find winter in an unknown heart
for beauty was always a fragile thing.

 We who have seen this gift from above
will always get burned by its light.
The poet and the painter
have perfumed our existence
with loves testimony to this.

The pain and tears fall on empty shield
 for love will break your heart
but when we reach out to hold the rose 
picked from these fields of hope,
a moment in life unfurls,
 love will kiss your soul
and the world belongs to you.

Fleeting are the petals of time
the rose is a symbol to love.
For others it is the pain of life,
to find and lose this immortal gift
leaves a desert where life cannot breathe.

 The laughter replaced by silence
the smile that is kept in darkness,
the kiss exiled to the memory.

Love is lost in the deepest pit
of your despair,
the thorns will bleed your soul red
but she can never die.

Love will always leave a spark
that will lead you to redemption
and only death can take this from you.

The rose was never yours to pick
but its creation yours to admire
for your being was made for this.

And as our mortal bodies die
 the spirit will seek the rose once more
for in death its petals fall too
blessing the ground of your resting place.

The rose was always yours 
and its beauty a source of life
the chains of doubt will always 
break in its presence.

The rose is pure
as is your faith in mankind.
It can show you a deeper meaning
for you are the petals of life
she is the perfume of your existence
and it is you that made her life complete.






Details | Free verse | |

To Die

Don't cry for me, I've only just died. And yes, I know you tried and tried
But the life ends and hearts do mend. Now I'm the atoms that war and love can never defend.
A universe spinning all around and now I'm home, I'm found.
Its the pain that goes away for me but I'm not a forgotten memory, don't you see?
It's all around us that life is a gift but the death is the return to the love in the universe and beyond - Beyond the burn and concern of the world and the horrors that are done in turn.
So reject the pain and celebrate with me for my death, like yours will be, was a certainty.
But not of lost life but of the chance to be free. Not now but you'll one day agree.  So lay aside the regret don't fret the time is now for livin' and later comes the dyin' but please no cryin' Let the tears be for you not for me that one day you too can become free in the dust, in the air and travel everywhere without a care while mourners stare and enemies glare.
To Die is no dream it's a return to the love in the universe and beyond - Beyond the burn and concern of the world and the horrors that are done in turn.


Details | I do not know? | |

When

When your church turns against you, 
What more pain could there be?
You need them most they’re not there
It’s what happened to me

When your date of expiration,
Comes and goes it is true
Tis life’s pain and the arrow
That was meant for you

You’re holding us fine,
But you’re only human, you know
Then you break down and
You let your weaker side show.

When your nerves are on end,
And you’re shaking all inside
When your breathing is shallow,
And there is none by your side.

A slit on the wrist, 
Or maybe across the neck
What’s the use in living?
What’s the use, what the heck?

What’s the use in living?
Why keep going on?
My life will never be good
Singing melancholy’s song. 


 


Details | I do not know? | |

Darkness

Sitting in the dark
I can’t find the light.
Theres no pain on this side
It feels oh, so right.
Hate when the sunshine
Its morning time,
I can see everything around me
And it’s not a delight.
At night
Everyone’s asleep
Ah, the sound of peace.
Wrapped in my sheet
With lots of sweet dreams
Don’t wake me now 
Not today
Not tomorrow!
In the dark 
I can hide my feelings
Darkness is my healing
Oh sun
Please don’t rise
I don’t want to see you
In my eyes.
You’re  to bright
I hate the light
Just set
And let me rest
And let me rest
Let me be death’s mistress.
09/25/07


Details | Rhyme | |

LEFTovers

Left in my own thoughts Tarnished forever through nightmares Pierce me with your passions…tangle me in your knots You left me…I have no choice, but to cry… I’m breaking by the seams I drink in the sorrow… I spew up regret… I cannot drink any further I drink and drown myself – unable to hope for tomorrow I’m left in my own thoughts…I cannot walk any longer I recall my past decisions…I’m swallowed up by the echoes of fear I’m not your valuable merchandise! Don’t seek me – you wanted your dreams to come true and peace to draw near Don’t count on me – I’m not wise! I’m swallowed up by the churning sea… Leading me to my own demise I drink in the sorrow… I puke up resentment…I’m upset and cannot go on with life I douse myself in my misfortune – no one listens to me… No one catches me before I wallow… Pick me up from the murky waters Lift me up from the gutters Make me spotless and leave me the leftovers Dress me up and hand me some covers I’m trying to piece together my fragmented thoughts I can’t see a happy ending in this scene – Preserve my notions in Your thoughts and save them like leftovers… Oh, but my thoughts are thrown in the trash like rotten leftovers – left unseen Tarnished forever through nightmares My foul ideas don’t have a structure – they’re just… Tangled up knots


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

Justified Homicide

Justified Homicide

While words roll on and cameras turn
The sea beats the "saviours" and the fires burn
Within the depths of the watery grave
Of men not old, not young, not brave.

Just normal men who had a life
A child or two, a home, a wife.
No super powers did they possess
To live this way - before this mess.

Remember too, this is not the first!
Nor the last while there are those who thirst
For power, for profit, and social aplomb
From their share in extracting hydrocarbon!!!!!!
					15 July 1988


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

death

eyes and blood
all over my face
am i dead really, really dead.
but why do i still 
see your laugh inside my head
that same very day
you pushed me around
like i was your toy doll
doe it have to be this way
for you to hurt others
while i just sit back and hide
in your shadows


Details | I do not know? | |

Have I Scared You

Fear and agony
Have pushed away
Any rational thought.

No longer is a smile sweet
But it’s filled with
Daggers and Ice.

Silence is bliss,
Speaking and listening
Causes more pain that I bear.

Strength, I have lost
I feel nothing.
Being numb takes it all away.

Hurt me. I won’t cry.
Give me the knife, 
I’ll start the cut.

We’ve been here for a while
People have pushed you and me
Have you been pushed to insanity?

Insanity’s spark has completely flamed
We don’t reason with each other
Will you kill me first?

Should I stop?
Am I scaring you?
Shame. I’ve only just begun.

We were happy,
What happened to us?
Was it her?

That woman that haunts 
The outermost regions 
Of your mind.

Do you love me
Or do you love
Her?

Scared yet? I hope not.
Let the Hunt begin.
I’ll hurt you good.

Allow me to give 
You a head start
The first punch

Maybe you can 
Knock me out
Before I pull my knife

I’ll slam you into the
Wall.
Don’t try to run.

I’ll hunt you down.
Isn’t funny
How you used to scare me?

Speak your mind.
I’m a big girl 
I can take it.

Oh, I’ve said too much.
I think you’ve finally 
Had enough.

Sign our souls away to the 
Devil.
Send me home.

Let me show you
The scars you’ve left
All the pain you’ve caused.

It’s all here, every little mark
You’ve left on me
I remember it all.

Broken
And bloody 
One the floor.

You see? Being 
Numb isn’t bad,
It only hurts those around you.


Details | Elegy | |

Marie III--Is the Coffin Too Deep

So frigid was her immaculate body Her last second in screams is all I can see Love's revenge was my guilt With you I'd rather let you die with Bound hands Without you, Marie, like the psychopath's dream Death is all that I can see; All that could redeem Did anyone ask Did anyone recall The sweet taste of the poison The swift slash of the knife he penetration of the lead The pain of her decaying heart I can hear it's bellowing cries But why can't you, Marie, Hear my paranoid eulogies Is the coffin too deep? Was it so hard to solve Was it so hard to see That I strangled her so easily My nails piercing her comely skin Blood dripping like the pomegranate I crushed with the shovel I shattered her shins The knife to slight her wrists Didn't you see I did it all The only witness Couldn't say Is the coffin too deep? The pain of her decaying hear tI can hear it's bellowing cries But why can't you, Marie, Hear my paranoid eulogies Is the coffin too deep? Marie I cant stay Earth is to cruel when your coffin is to deep Forever in death and in death alone The pain of her decaying heart I can hear it's bellowing cries But why can't you, Marie, Hear my paranoid eulogies Is the coffin too deep?


Details | I do not know? | |

chronicles of me

1990 was the year if my details are in order.
When everyone at home was woken by the unforgiving blast of gunshots.
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
And that signaled the end of a life,
The death of a loved son,
The death of a cherished grandson,
The death of a respected friend,
The death, of an unknown brother.

Yes, that was my brother, or so I’ve been told.
When this happened I was just 1 year old.
So you can forgive me for not remembering him,
Not face, not eyes, not smile nor limb.
I wonder how different my life would be,
If  around the house it wasn’t only me.
Only me to bare the deafening silence,
Only me to see the brutal violence.
Only me to bring blood-filled tears,
Only me to inflict treacherous fears.
Only me, that’s how its always been,
Only me, that’s how im always seen.

For that reason my heart’s been stone,
Already accepting ill end up alone.
If the world can take what I do not know,
Yet can still keep safe my every foe,
What hope do I have that ill succeed,
What proof is there that ill proceed.
Proceed to live a long and happy life,
Proceed to cater for a loving wife.
All these things are hard to see,
All because my heart is not free.

I can only dream and hope of better days to follow,
Til then, what’s inside will always be hollow.

Im counting the minutes, hours and days,
Waiting til all this pain fades.
Slowly but surely, I will heal,
And all the pain ill no longer feel.
Cause I am a soldier and ill fight til the bitter end,
Cause now I have a weapon, a weapon called friend.


Details | Rhyme | |

hologram

It would be better if we were all just holograms,
no feelings in our gut or dying from our cells.
This doesn’t make me crazier than I am,
We’ve got parents and their children dying in this hell.
Can’t you make me out of sand?
Smooth my edges and fill me till I’m whole.
I’d be so much better than I am. 
And I have stories that have yet to be told. 

With the skin and bones that make us real,
comes pain waking us for the moon.
Inside and out we always feel,
Down your companzine and they tell you “soon.” 

Make me out of wood and sculpt my shape with clay.
I was a real boy once but not anymore.
Please give me life just by taking it away. 
Cause living it’s become my chore.
If not that give me grenade hands of smoke. 
Blasting off at the shells of empty rooms,
or the gas of tears to make them choke.
I’ll be me again real soon. 

With the skin and bones that make us real,
comes pain waking us for the moon.
Inside and out we always feel,
Down your companzine and they tell you “soon.” 

Give me what I need to go on,
give me what I need to not to go wrong.
Nothing less nothing more.
Nothing less nothing more. 


Details | I do not know? | |

Battle Lines

Battle lines are drawn with no word uttered to act,
just a couple of simple emotions pain and loss fuel  this fact.
Bloodshed on the people we thought we could trust,
but now we know this is not true, as we lay our kin in the earth’s crust.

Vengeance is the fuel that fans the emotions of loss into hate,
for now it is not them but us that will decide their fate.
Call to arms the ones that have laid your brother to rest,
and in our embrace of steel find out who is the best.

When blood stains the ground and the hate sets fire to this land,
lets see past the smoke to who will finally stand.
In heated conflict our dance of steel and flesh will warship Aries the god of war,
and we will tear one another apart until we are no more.

Through the years our generation will hate the others without cause or reason,
For as the crimson moon passes it start another killing season.
Hate will boil and bodies will come under the knife,
and we shall take liberties on each other’s lands and wife.

All this pain will usher in a mindt Earth is a living hell,
and we will become prisoners within our own hated cell.
So before you step over line and fuel what you know is to pass,
lets buried our love ones together in the same mass.

After that, talk to me and so this could never happen while we our alive,
for if we don’t, in the future it could be us that will not survive.


Details | Rhyme | |

loss

The innocent life's lost,
a mothers broken heart is the cost,
Parents loss there kids its a tragedy,
There is no remedy,
To fix the excruciating pain,
With no one to blame,
Life now for them can never be the same,
Its a shame,
Kids loss there life and aint even breathe yet,
Extortion the devil is morphing,
My soul is crying,
Babies never see the daylight,
A rude awaking for most,
That's a high toll,
To pay,
But some except the cost others beg never to feel,
that pain that might drive them to insane,
taking a life or losing your paying,
I meant to say you need to be praying,
Because another mothers love your delaying,
You doctors that hold the tools,
Are complete and utter fools,
But you moms losing your kids,
I'm sorry for the pain that comes along with,
I never wish that agonizing pain on anyone,
And only hope you stay strong,
Don't fall


Details | Rhyme | |

Broken Promise

As i waved you goodbye the day that i left

A loving embrace and the tears that were wept

To the poppyfields of france we answered the call

So many young lives lost and its here that i fall

My mind wanders back to when i last saw you

My promise to you that this we would get through

The crossing of my heart to our young son and daughter

That daddy would be back home come hell or high water

Remember me.......

Forgive me my loved ones for a promise spoken

Im sorry i wont be coming home i lie here bleeding and broken

Forgive me.........

To the left and the right of me my comrades lie still

But never to see my family again though is the bitterest pill

I see in my minds eye the life i am leaving

I see the pain of my loved ones there crying there grieving

But be still my love for you have no more tears to weep

My pain will soon be over then eternal sleep

So think of me warmly and this price i have paid

And when your time comes my love do not be afraid

For i shall be waiting here to take you by the hand

To kiss you embrace you and lead you to gods golden land

Together again in eternity.......Forever


Details | Ode | |

Goodbye, my love -Part I

I want to right, all the wrongs that make u cry,
I want to fight for u against the racing time
I don't want to lose, not until I try
And I know u won't give up too, not without one hell of a fight. 

Just when we had reached a point of no return,
He made us stop and made u turn,
You were all I had, my most prized possession,
But He decided u die...oh His one decision

Oh my Lord, your one decision, 
Has changed the very course of my life
Without her by my side, how do You expect me to survive.
Without her such radiant smile, how do You expect me to feel alive.

She loves me so much and doesn't want me to hurt
So she's not letting go, battling her illness bcoz she knows
That it would leave me stranded here, wallowing in pain
Slowly and surely her death would drive me insane

And it makes her resolve, to be brave and soldier on,
Fight her death and meet every blow head on
But the end is near and she smiles and takes my hand 
She says a silent prayer for the suffering she's about to gift her man

And now I look down at her, her flawless face,
And think of how much more pain she's willing to take
I think of our lives then, so full of happiness
And I think of our lives now, so filled with turbulence

And I wonder how much inner strength she must have,
To have endured all the severe pain that she has
I just want her now to be free,
Since she's only hanging on bcoz she's afraid what what might become of me

And in her eyes I see such helplessness,
Maybe down the road, she can see the darkness
And she looks at me now, 
Her teary eyes beg for my forgiveness

For she knows she's leaving me now
Her strength is now wearing her down
I can hear her silently crying, and even though she's trying,
In her heart, she knows she's dying.



Details | Rhyme | |

Life's Sorrow

The journey of life is without sorrow
God's gift of life, are only moments we borrow

So cherish those memories of life’s past
Getting you through to the ever last 

Pray for the strength they say it’s within
For the Savior to ease the pain you’re in

That day will come when pain turns to smiles
Patience and hope will happen in a while

Stay strong knowing, pain and suffering doesn’t stay
Thanking him for just another day


Details | Free verse | |

My Lifeline

Missing you...
Needing you...
Wanting you...
Seeing no other way...
Dying is the only way,
to fulfill my need of you...

You are my lifeline, 
which has now been severed...
If I don't repair it...
I'll die of a broken heart

You are my heart and soul...
You are my other half...
Without you, I've been stripped of myself
If you leave me I'll be left to rot
You are all I am and I won't let you leave me

Your lips breathe life into me when we kiss 
You  fill all the cracks when we hug
My world is complete when you tell me you love me,
but now that world is falling apart.
How could you leave me?


Details | Free verse | |

Pain

Pain
filling me
so strong
I keel over

Tearing shattering
flooding my senses
wasting away more each day
tears streaming down my face

Weeping, wailing,  teeth gnashing
I rend out my hair in clumps
if only I could tear out my heart
maybe then the pain would ease

Trembling, shaking, quivering
please make it stop
so nauseous as I heave
the pain far too much to bear

Lost bewildered confused
mind going insane
so terrible like losing a limb
the never ending pain lasts on

Melancholy weighs me down
so tired of fighting myself
if I could sleep I would
but the pain denies relief

Then a sign that you are here
just not seen, holding out a hand
leading me from dark despair
back into the light of hope

inspired by a poem I read today


Details | Lyric | |

Please Dont Let Her Go

The call of a mother
the mean words of her children
the pain that lingers through the years

Her pain suffocates her
dying in a lonely place
waiting to be heard
she turns a lighter color

They try to save her
but their love is not enough
they stand in a white room
waiting for the words 
the words no one wants to hear

Please dont let her go
let her stand oh lord
let her be with us 
let her feel no pain

The lights dimmer

the ceiling falls
their standing underneath the sky
their mother stands before them
she tells them to let go of all the guilt
that has built up for she is safe and okay now

They stand as the light of there mother fades
there alone now standing underneath the black sky


their pain and guilt fades knowing there mother loves them and always will

Dedicated to Granny Helen Caccumise (you were like a mother to me and may you rest in peace)


Details | Blank verse | |

Help me

I walk around these halls,
Feeling more dead than alive.
I don't want to be here at all,
I'm just praying I'll survive.

Nothing makes sense to me,
Everything is engulfing me.
Will you save me from myself
I'm scared of myself.

I'm scared of what I'll do,
I'm scared of what will happen
I'm lost in this world of fear.
I don't think you can save me.

I'm too far gone,
There's no going back,
The pain has just begun
Where am I at?

What world am I in,
Where have you taken me?
Why can't I awake from this,
This is a nightmare, please help!

This is a mistake,
I don't belong here,
I think I'm dead.
Is this actual hell?

The devil took me away,
He calls this my home.
I do not like it here,
But I have no choice.

I can't get away from him,
He won't let me go.
I don't understand this,
What did I do to deserve this?

~k.t.


Details | Free verse | |

Morbid Luck

Bad luck could hit hard…
It’s difficult to catch a flash of glory… 
Unfortunately, we end up with the wrong side of the coin 
It’s tricky to snatch eternal glee…

I wish I could increase your motivation and prove your significance 
But I have none that I own – you made a big impact on me believe it or not
I want to grant you success…or I’ll let God work His magic
I have the passion to accomplish my jubilant goals – I just got to be energized…
Be strengthened and have self-reliance  
I prey upon confidence… 
I pray for your dreams to fall into place… 
I have no choice, but to find my way out of this labyrinth… 
OUT OF THIS MESS…
Suffocating me in harsh distress…
Dissatisfaction could shatter your hope

We are fading… we’re fragments
Escalating ferociously…  

It’s almost impossible to remain at ease during these hard times…
Fortunately, we have a chance to be on the right side of the coin

The most difficult part of living is… 
Dealing with the outrageous crimes  

Bad luck 
Is totally a morbid result in life’s situations…
I believe that you could endure
The catastrophe that burnt up your 
Last drop of courage…

What a tragedy you turned out to be… 
Your morbid luck drained out your bliss
And inflated you with squalid misery…
Your morbid luck dragged you 
Into the abyss……… 


Details | Rhyme | |

The Towers of NYC The Day They Fell

Two standing structures standing up so high touching  tha clear blue sky.
Huge white walls on either side, 
Hundreds of windows reflecting the sky.
 Thousands of workers sit at their desks; unaware  of the fear that is growing near.
its 8:45 people still come to arive; but soon they'll be fighting to survive.
The north tower is struck by a plane and  the 1st tower is turned into a flame.
 
Smoke and ash flow throughout the buliding as people below are screaming.
Videos recording, photos been taken.
News choppers are flying while inside the tower people are dying.
Police try to control the streets as every ones heart beats.
 
People believe its just a plane crash but at 9:03 that rumour is smashed.
The second tower is hit as ash covers people in the street like a pit. 
firefighters suit up to enter the blaze but the smoke is so thick there put in a daze.
Panic and chaos is all around; as bodies jump from windows to fall a long way down .
 
fire is burning all around inside as news crews flim the outside .
People are burning and choking and know that time is getting short .
They ring their families to tell them they'll be fine; but in their hearts they know there out of time .
  
The towers come down with a tundering sound as a great symbol of the U.S is now nothing more than a mess.
Bodies are burnt and burried; sadness is in everyones face as New York City is left a dusty angry place . 
Great towers they used to be; but now these towers of NYC  are just ones memory.


Details | Free verse | |

The Temperate Valley

 Lie on rock
Think of feathers
While this cave keeps me sheltered 

I’ve slept like any man
Crawling through dreams
As bones curl
Round, like limp branches
On an empty willow.
And hair dampens in our quiet cellar
Or like an old rope, lost in trampled mud.
Pale skin, creased and folded,
Folding over.
Murmured withdrawals
As the face drips down,
Down, to where the fleas feed on inviting fingers.

But I’ve tossed and turned
And tussled with my thoughts
To wake screaming in unfamiliar rooms.
Dusk to dawn,
The smell of a burning nest,
Yet I lay still on a crushed pillow
Waiting for something and nothing
As the outside claws at the half open windows.
And the birds seem to sound like sirens.


Details | Rhyme | |

deadly love

I saw her standing in the light
Her face a radiant glow
My heart it raced 
Then skipped a beat 
Her skin as white as snow

I went and said hello to her 
And heard her voice sing out
My skin got tight 
Then like a fright
My heart did faster go

Each time I got to meet her
Her inner beauty showed 
I stood amazed
With heart rate raised
True love did start to grow

I met her on a bright clear day
The question of my life
I bent the knee 
Then asked to see 
If she would be my wife

Her eyes looked down and with a frown
She answered me that day
You are my friend 
And not my love
I cannot marry thee

My heart was beating oh so fast 
My face did beetroot glow
My heart in pain 
It broke with strain
To end is pounding blows 


Details | Rhyme | |

Why?

When I saw him I cried, I don’t understand,
He’s nothing but a shell;
There’s nothing left behind his eyes,
He’s trapped in his own hell;

I see the pain and distance there,
He’s not the one I knew;
As a tear falls down I whisper,
“There’s nothing left of you”

I don’t even know him, He’s changed so much,
He’s tainted by disease and death;
Where is the cowboy I knew so well,
He shudders as he takes a breath.

Even breathing seems to hurt him,
Why does it take so long?
Why is he plagued with this pain?
Where did life go so wrong?

So many questions unanswered, 
Life is to precious, you know;
One minute it’s here and the next it’s gone,
His heartbeat seems to slow.

As a tear gathers in his pain streaked eye,
I know he’s letting go;
There’s nothing left to live for,
He’s saying bye I know.

I hold his hand and tell him,
Not to hold on for me;
I’ll be okay and he can go, 
And soon he will be free.


Details | Couplet | |

Aids

Once I went to a hospital
There aids patient’s were on the beds with death’s proposal

As Aids is pronounced it is not so simple
To take every breath they cross huge pain hill

There I saw life and deaths fight
They hopefully fight for life but death was in their sight

For each breath they were given pills
But the gap between the world and patients make their life more terrible

Those people are far from life and closed to death
Those people with such short and painful life are kept away like filth

They are treated as if they have done crime
No one understand what brought them in such a time

They are nether fully death nor alive
By the physical and mental pain they prefer death, then to survive

On the other hand doctors does not allow them to die
With the medical power these half death people are force to survive

So Aids end is not so simple as Aids is pronounced
For these peoples terrible physical and mental death is announced


Details | Blank verse | |

Spring is Coming

The summer days are long gone,
the sun hidden behind dark clouds.
My heart has been iced over,
pain and sorrow frozen inside me,
time stopping, dying in the ground.
Barren, colorless earth waits hopefully
for the sweet promise of spring.
Encased, preserved from the winds,
feeling utterly nothing in the snow.

Yet on day, the sun will return,
and the frailest plant will peek through.
What died in the bitter winter
will be reborn, redeemed, renewed,
revived for a purpose now unseen.
So for now, I will wait here in the ground.


Details | I do not know? | |

Casket

In the dark I sit
I don’t seem to exist.
This world
Is my coffin 
I’m buried alive,
Forced to see
The pain of mankind
Everyday is more intense 
Than the last,
It’s getting harder 
To breathe in the cask.
Loosing strength
Can’t go on
Much longer 
As I lay here
unconsciousness takes over.
02/17/08


Details | I do not know? | |

Myself

A light is but a flickering glow
a song is but a sweet sound
and walking forward as I go
no one is around.
Life is but a shadow
in which we walk the path of destiny
my vision is all but narrow
I wish we hadn’t lost you and me.
You took my hand and lead me away
into a world of darkness
and left me there where I stand
in a jagged room of sharpness.
You stole my heart and my innocence
I thought you were the one
to guide my through the path of life
but you left so screw you and everyone.
I can’t survive this world alone
I thought that you were there
but now I see I can’t trust you
or anyone anywhere.
You stole my soul and my voice
so I have nothing left to give
the world I live in is not by choice
but I have to so I give in.
Kill me now while I feel nothing
and so everyone can see
just how useless I feel
by just being me.


Details | Rhyme | |

All's Not Well

It's always nice to call a friend
When life starts drawing to an end
Maybe you should wait a day
Always find much more to say
But should you just forget to phone
You might find that you're all alone
Yet other things I start to find
Many friends have lost their mind
Not that they are off the wall
They all have problems when I call
Some just can't hear
Some aren't well
It's really hard
For me to tell
Some have no mate
A sorry state 
Other know they reached their last
All recall
A long lost past
For them each day's a living hell
All's not good
All's not well


Details | Free verse | |

Inner Confession

People are wrong my love.
The pain never dulls,
the screams never lull.
It seems like every moment I breath,
I'm begging to have you back with me.
Things weren't perfect.
And we both cried and hurt so often,
but my life feels bleak and empty.
Now that I can only feel a shell of 
pure bliss.
Unlike the raging poison of love,
we had called our own.

People are wrong my love,
The pain never dulls,
the screams never lull.
So instead I curl up tight,
bury my face in the pillows,
letting it all swallow me whole.
Because at moments like these,
I'm buried beneath the earth,
your hands clamp down tight on my heart.
Like a vise, my addiction,
I miss you my love.

People are wrong my love,
The pain never dulls,
and the screams never lull.
Each night I beg for you to return.
Even if all you told me was your hatred for me.
I'll continue to beg for you,
because though I'll lie to everyone else.
No one will ever hold my heart,
so careless and yet so close.
Just Like You.


Details | Free verse | |

Fracta Anima

Maybe instead of life
Maybe I’m the joke.
Maybe I stopped mattering,
So why does this matter?

The shattered pain in my eyes,
Mirrors that reflect only you.
Do you see the cracked smile;
Your laughter is a dagger to my soul.

The frustration is a merry-go-round;
I might fall off and die.
The pain is rotten, a corpse
Twisted all around my heart.

Tears are uncountable, endless
Crying at night but still more.
Oh, the despair in my soul!
I long only for joy, please,
Is that just too much to ask?

Those beautiful dreams are ruined,
Why on earth were they given?
Was it all my fault or maybe
No one’s fault, just life,
The joke that is me.

The cuts will scar, as always
Yet can’t you see them,
Or maybe you refuse to.
The outside cuts are nothing
Compared to my heart, ruined,
Destroyed by far too many hopes.

My trust, shattered like glass
And lying in the wasteland,
My bitter tears are the oasis.

Tired, yet no sleep is found here,
So many questions in my mind,
My heart can’t ask you again.

I’m sorry, oh the mistakes made,
And there will be so many more.

I am hollow, a container of sorrow,
Of lifeless, wingless dreams, so frail.
The hot fire mixes with it,
The anger that is me and my mind,
Questioning, screaming and so unhappy.

Delusions are my safe, happy place;
I only wanted love.


Details | ABC | |

The Fog

Into the steam filled abyss I found myself sitting upon a rock, lost, confused, hopeless. 
The light of a lark opened my eyes; the shadow of the devil closed them. 
My vision became faded and my mind was jaded, 
I was lost in the thoughts of an assassin and pushed into the actions of a suicidal animal. The rope clinched to my neck lets go ever so softly but when I slip it tightens 
Before I know it I am lost in the abyss of my own insanity and cannot find my way back to reality. 
Sometimes I forget who I am; sometimes I forget what good I’ve done. 
The fog takes over my very movements, thoughts, and actions. 
The laziness that unfolds upon me is like a quilt of guilt.
 Sweat, tears, and blood are stitched into the embroidery of this quilt. 
I try to open my eyes but they remain closed.
I am blind to the truth but to the fallacies I can see.  
I just wish to give my soul like a Faustian bargain 
just...to feel completely whole again. Sadly...I know that I will never find.
I try to open my eyes again and I am alive, but falling into the depths of hell. 
The Egyptians encrypted my soul with this spell. 
The evil curse that will scar my skin with pain and have me walk as if I have survived the bloody gallows. 
My head hangs low and creates a correlation with my eye lids. 
The tears are hard to see in the rain, but the pain leaves a permanent stain.
 I am alive, but isnt living as bad as dying. 
The thought of the unknown lingers upon me like a mosquito
My love for you dwells forever as if it were a scar.


Details | Free verse | |

Once Here Now Dead

Once here
Now dead & gone
“What am I known for, this time round?”
I exist only as a memory now
A memory that fades, over time
“Who will remember me, when I am gone?”

No one knew me
Yet people will say they knew me, so well!
A laugh, how often people think “they are experts”
Yet, really
Know nothing at all!

“How well did you know the inside of me?”
For, if I was to ask...
“What is my favourite colour?”
Or, “what’s my favourite song?”
I listen for answers...none come

“What’s my favourite food to eat?”
Complete silence...
I could hear a pin drop
Round...about...now!
“Do these questions fall upon deaf ears?”
For I ask...

“Who truly knew me?”
“What am I known for?”
“Who will remember me?”
When I am dead & gone


Details | Free verse | |

Bleeding Love

Bleeding Love
Curled in a ball
Not knowing what to do!
Knees against my chest
Cradling oneself

‘Soothing my soul’

Memories of you
Flooding my brain
Your words
Left as lingering whispers
Your smile
Imprinted, upon my mind's eye
High light of my day!
Electrifying my nervous system
Jump starting my heart
Punishing me
For loving you
‘Bleeding love’


Details | I do not know? | |

Missing You

Missing You 

My eyes filled up with tears when I 
heard the news
it never occured to me how much 
we all could really lose
Still today I have a hard time 
believing that this is real
Everytime I think about you pain is 
all I can feel
So as I sit here with tears rolling 
down my face
I know that your in no more pain 
and living in God's good grace
So on the day that God called you 
home, I know that he made no 
mistake
Because God only takes the best, so 
it was time for you my brother to 
getyou some rest
We all love you and will miss you so 
very much For you were a great son, 
father, 
brother, cousin, fiance, friend and 
such...
I refuse to say goodbye but until the 
day that we meet again
Rest in heavenly peace our dear 
sweet family & friend


Written with love just for you
By your Big sis: Eleanor Bolden


Details | Imagism | |

Her Blood On The Floor

Your gone again.. I let you in....
Yet again .... Its all begins..
Yes its a sin...Yet I let you in...

Alone again., .Confused to why...
Wishing a death….Only I control...
Drip drop...Goes my blood as it hits the floor
Stop the pain......I cut, cut ,cut some more

Drip, Drip drop...Goes my blood ..
As it hits the floor..
My pain drip, drip drop goes my blood..
As it hits the floor....

Once again. Numb form within..
Its all begin.....All over again........

Drip, Drip drop As my blood hits the floor..
This is my world ...This is me ..My pain release

Drip, drip drop ..Goes my blood hitting the floor..

Drip ,drip drop... Till I bleed no more....


Details | Rhyme | |

Heartless

In the woods wonders a fool, 
He walks along a sorrowful path.
His soul has fallen beneath the rule
of a vengeful woman’s wrath.

He begs forgiveness from the dark, 
For that is all who can hear his cries. 
Even his shadow refuses to hark, 
as the tears flow from his eyes. 

With his heart she stole the good, 
and crumbled it into the dirt. 
As he begged, broken he stood,
wishing for a way to stop the hurt.

No second chances, no more tries. 
She couldn’t forgive him once more
No amount of tears nor alibis, 
could wash away the bottles on the floor. 

He sipped past his final excuse,
He lost her love now once for all. 
Now he walks to a lonely noose, 
Haunted by the demons call. 

Love has turned her face away
the pain now takes control. 
There were no silver words to say, 
That could pay this poor fools toll. 

As he wanders deep and deeper
his sorrow is overthrown by rage. 
Now as he awaits the reaper,
his heart is stabbed within its cage. 

Addiction has poisoned and made him ill 
It’s blackened his heart and stolen his sight
His anger it boils and readies to kill, 
Demons have awoken in his heart tonight.

A transformation has taken place, 
tonight a monster has been born. 
An evil slithers across his face, 
flowing from where his heart was torn. 

In the woods awaits an angry fool, 
love has left him and he rots in pain. 
He hates the living like an evil ghoul, 
and death runs through his every vein. 

In the dark by damnation's gate
He sits alone and lingers. 
waiting for that woman’s fate
to fall into his fingers. 

He wants her to look into his eyes,
and fear what she has created. 
He wants to kiss her as she dies, 
and whisper why he’s waited. 

He wants his life to be rebuilt,
He wants the heart that she stole
He wants to be free of the guilt,
He wants to regain his soul. 




Details | Free verse | |

As With A Tear

Brutally deranged, I've gone a tad insane,
but it isn't my fault no, you're the one to blame,
I laugh at insecurities, and the struggles I can't face,
because if I see them for what they are, I couldn't bear,
Not a drop of innocense in this stuffed up air,
Wouldn't it be nice to live without a care?
But **** the past, there's a reason I'm not there,
I wish I could take it back,
I wish I could have known,
They weren't all the same,
and none the less you have made me grow.
Can you kill me, before I do it myself,
I'm over thinking, and could even damage hell.
But now I'm hungry and I bid you a farewell,
because you were my past intentions, and nothing is for real,
You lied and cast me out, leaving me with sorrow,
Now knowing the only thing that is hurting me will be gone tomorrow,
I don't need the money, or a thing around my neck,
Now you are gone there will be nothing left,
I have found a savior, someone who is the same as I.
Someone who has been trapped, by this world of lies,
I will take his burden, and strap it in with mine,
I will not have anymore, regrets behind who I kiss,
because there is only one who I will be with bliss,
He is the one, who I will stay with.
Unlike you, fair weathered friends, I'll bid you a farewell and tie off loose ends.


Details | I do not know? | |

All Lives Matter

Fear is what they clothe them in.
Fear of losing their life because of one mistake.
Fear of losing their life because an officer is having 
a bad day.

Some say it's not racism;
"It's police brutality."
Whatever you call it, I can't 
help but ask "where is humanity?"

Mothers weeping because they're losing their sons.
Teaching them to fight back with silence
but that is no weapon compared to a gun.

Six feet under, leaving families to fight for justice
over their lives.
Societies getting tired of it all-
starting riots and constructing strikes.

How many more time will history repeat itself?
Or are we still writing [his]tory , using coverups
as help?

All lives matter despite of their race.
All lives matter despite their mistakes.

In times such as these justice will demand to be served.
No matter how chaotic, crazy, or obscured.

Life is a gift, one that we should all treasure.
Because all lives matter and we need to protect them;
no matter the measure.


Details | Free verse | |

the temples are on fire

I smell the flesh at my temples burning,
and the pounding of my head shacks
and rattles of death burns my soul.
Heat- ouch!
fire- burning so hard
and the women with the buckets of water and alcohol
don't come around to put me out and give me a drink.

I sit there burning, dying, and feeling bad...

11/25/2013


Details | Rhyme | |

Can You

Can you see that cloud?
The screams growing more loud?
Do you feel the storm?
The life of another torn?

While you sit in your cell,
Do you think of how the other fell?

Falling...Falling...
As they kept calling... and calling...

The rain whipping you in the face,
Did it stain away the blood and hide the trace?
Do you see that girl,
Who was that persons world?

Now they have no father,
To you that is no bother?

Do you feel more strong now?
Did you get your Devils crown?

Can you feel the words,
Coming across you like a sword?
No?
No, I didn't think so.


Details | Rhyme | |

My Final Goodbye

My Final Goodbye

Knowing that you are alright my future always looks forever so bright 
now my life has shifted knowing you are no longer insight.  
		
Right then I recognizes that my life will go through 
torture knowing I will never be with you.
	
It's hard for me to accept that you are gone 
and how your life ended on this earth was terribly wrong.

I never expect to see the day
 that you will be so cruelly taken away.	

I am in disbelief 
and stricken with enormous amount of grief.

I do not know what I am going to do
being on this earth all alone without you. 

My eyes of tears pour down like rain
as my heart went into a stage of everlasting pain.

The thought on how you left me I immediately went into a rave
 as I watched your casket goes down into the grave.

I felt my heart broken into two 
knowing how much I will deeply miss you.

As I watched them continue to lower your body into the ground 
I realized you are no longer going to be around.

That’s when I knew it was hard to say my final goodbye
as my tears cascade from my eyes.

© By: Naomi Johnson  
To my beloved son Deshon Johnson
11- 8-14



Details | Rhyme | |

Retired

Head bent face down
In dressing gown
He left his house,
A little mouse.
Tuesday was the garbage day,
At home he'd wander
At home he'd stay.
His aging wife chose different ends
Why stay at home,
Go out with friends                                                                                                            The man recalled his days of fame,
Now nothing more than days of shame.
He watched the cothers count the hours,
They talked the past of long lost powers.
Once he dealt with stocks and cash,
Now he dumped the household trash.
She'd be home by eight tonight,
As dusk would fall they'd always fight.
Yet soon for both the pain would end,
His old war gun his greatest friend.


Details | Rhyme | |

My Heart Hurts

My heart hurts
Sinking down
Into a dark crevice
No light and no day
Nothing to block my
Spiral down ward way.


Everything is getting darker,
I hope to find my
My final resting place
Where i can lay in peace,
No more pain or suffering,
Where everything will release.


The pain in my heart 
And depression in my head
Will continue like they have been,
With no end in sight,
No one to help or guide me,
I'm about to give up the fight.

 

There is no one
To confide in,
And no hope
They will understand
What goes through my mind
And what feelings of mine others have banned.


Details | Rhyme | |

Happy New Year

As another year goes by
I wonder just who's next to die
Each day I read of one more soul
Who joins this very morbid toll
So every day some wonder why
Death has come and passed us by
For rich or poor
Some lose the fight
Their days now dark
No longer bright
No need do they have now to work
Daily duties they can shirk
Yet other will begin to mourn
They feel the loss
Their lives are torn
For all those souls
Who've lost a mate
It's tough to smile
And hide your hate
For when as couples you had friends
Now all alone
Their friendship ends
The weekends come
Your pals don't call
Afraid that someday
They might fall
Some squirm and twitch
Then say hello
But don't stay long
Just have to go
So now you sit there all alone
Hoping that you'll hear the phone
Another year just hope and pray
That nothing new can spoil your day
You want the time to simply flow
No changes to the status quo


Details | I do not know? | |

Lifeless

Never thought the day would come where I would lose you.

The pain that is beard when I am forced to push you out of my ****** lifeless,

The same way I felt the day your father walked out on me.

Depression sets in as I feel the walls beginning to close in

Forcing me to realize just how much pain I am in.

The pain of losing my first child, who was conceived out of love and later that love died.

Like the machine that beeps when someone flat lines.

I feel like my insides have been ripped out of me

Leaving me lifeless like that body that was found on the cold cement.


Details | Dramatic Verse (Verse Drama) | |

A swim in the dam

The sun baked down on our Karoo town
It is dryer than dry; not a cloud in the sky.
No one in the street.
Nothing moves in that heat.

It is the end of the school holidays
Nothing to do; too hot to play,
Except to swim in the farmer’s dam;
Hoping we will not be told to scram
Before we can dive in
For that cooling swim.

Down the road, through the fence
We laugh, with naughty jubilance.
Through the bush, to the dam
Excitedly we run.
Shirts and pants off in a flash
Into the water, we dash and splash.

But happy times must end too soon.
As we walk home in late afternoon
There is a snarl, there is a growl
Two Dobermans are on the prowl 

They block our path from front and back
Preparing for attack.
Our only hope, to turn and flee
In the distance, a single tree

We do not wait, we spin around
And race across the open ground
They catch up quickly and try to bite
As we scream out wildly on our frightened flight

The moment sharp teeth sink into my thigh
I know I am going to die.
My flesh is ripped,
To the bone is stripped

I stumble, I fall
I try to crawl.
Blood pours onto the dusty sand.
I am alone, not a helping hand.

Why?
Why me?
Why is this happening to me?
I am too young to die.

Brutal teeth are the last I see
As they clamp, and tear though my eyeballs.
Then darkness, I am blind

I scream in terror at my plight
At every crunching sound, at every painful bite
I can smell the stench from jaws as they rip
And taste the salt of blood from my torn off lips

Strong paws claw.
Jaws grind, chew, and gnaw
My flesh with fierce ferociousness.
I drift in and out of consciousness

There is no bottom to the dark depth of my despair
I cannot move or see, but only feel and hear
The chewing, crunching teeth on bone
And feel the helpless fear that overcomes, now hope is gone

Will this gnawing never cease?
Please God kill quickly, give me peace.

The pain is neither here, nor there
But everywhere
Yet, I do not care.
I know, that only when I am dead, the pain will cease.
Only then, will there be peace.

Slowly it comes.
Life’s agonising light turns into the darkness of night.
The snarls become a song. Soft music in the air
A world without care.
Then I am gone


Details | Bio | |

"Nobody"

Nobody Listens. Nobody Cares.
 Nobody asks if Im OK.                                           
Nobody knows that Im scared. 
Nobody knows where i am at. 
Nobody knows where i live. 
Nobody sees that Im drowning down here. Nobody wants to forgive...
Nobody hears my silent screams. Nobody to Quiet the storm. 
Nobody knows my list of Dreams. Nobody wants me to come home...
Nobody knows the secret of my desire. Nobody believes that Im totally alone.
Nobody to put out these smoldering fires. Nobody sees how the hurt has grown...
Nobody wakes up with me everyday. Nobody holds me when i sleep.
Nobody ever wants to stay. Nobody sees the shadow as he creeps......
Nobody wants to play with me. Nobody knows the water is way too deep.
Nobody knows the pain is really too steep. Nobody tells me Im going to be alright.
Nobody tells me when to go to sleep....
Nobody knows the yearning I hide. Nobody sees my tears. 
Nobody sees whats brewing inside me. Nobody TO SEE my tears.
Nobody sees him trying to get my attention. Nobody knows he's here.
Nobody hears him tell me he loves me. Nobody to calm my fears...
Nobody to stop him from getting inside me. 
Nobody knows, that inside him, he offers me a Home.
Nobody hears my heart pound like a drum.
Nobody stops the adrenaline that pumps through me- 
Nobody knows where it comes from.
Nobody to stop me from going to him. 
"Do They see the Darkness come?"
Nobody knows how his sickness draws me to him- I feel No Soul... 
Nobody knows his eyes, so hypnotizing, and inside them I'm no longer alone. 
His LOVE screams violently all around me- His emotion spinning me out of control. 
His darkness calms all that is crazy....
His Love is Terminal......
Nobody sees how his Power soars through me.
Nobody  feels my heart bleed as its torn. 
Nobody to suffocate the intrique that has lied dormant inside me.
Nobody to shed a light on whats real anymore......
Nobody to stop me. A new Storm is Born.
Nobody to remind me, another power inside of me exists....
A true undenied Faith in my Savior.
A promise made with unclenched fists.
Nobody sees how I've waited here patiently- Riding out this life & Im finally tired.
Nobody feels this weariness... The heaviness... The weight of my Soul......
Im longing for this torment to take all that is left......
The pain that is never denied me....


Details | I do not know? | |

That Light

The feelings that I try to hide,
Inside they eat away at my flesh,
The feelings of pain and isolation, 
From everyone in my past and present

If only I could find that light,
The one at the end of the tunnel,
But I have reached the wrong end,
The end of my life,
Its happening I've replaced the pain with more
And somehow its alright,
Now I feel the release,
I'm falling.
I'm dying, 
I'm letting go.


Details | Light Poetry | |

Life Jump

I ran miles before recognizing it
Like a wind in the sails
It’s never ready
Never thinking to care.
A desperate attempt at breathing
Funny, this wasn’t here before
Like a girl you met in a past life
Just when you were at the store.
Of course it hurts
But it lets you know you’re alive
Like the first time you saw her
And looked into her eyes
It must have been a lightning bolt
That tripped the circuits clear
Never running or jumping before
The table is struck with fear
You reach for the answer
Seeking personal justice
Holding your chest dearly
Thinking only, it’s just us…


Details | I do not know? | |

Red Spring Cherry Blossoms

Finally came upon such beautiful scene where the eyes cannot resist.
With such pure fragrances taking away the sadness and the purpose of life,
Lies under these red cherry blooming trees, the sadness and painful endurance of each falling blossoms.
Each leaves and flowers reminisced of my past.
As the spring passes by, nothing is left behind. 
I pick up the red blossom flower and smile, as the spring vanished,
I faded with the season, shedding the last drop of tear surrounding by red blossoms. 


Details | Blank verse | |

Burning Alive

My fate is sealed, I am beyond help. 
Most do not even care, some enjoy what they see, and a small few of others actually wish to help. 
But wish is all they can do, wish and watch as I burn. Screaming and writhing in agony, pain, and hate as I burn away. But worse is this than any normal execution. For the fire never stops and the pain does nothing but increase. Eternal execution is my fate, to forever die alone in flames. I wish for final death, swift and silent, but it never comes. Am I a victim or is this deserved. I do not know. 
All I know is the pain and flames. All I know is I am burning alive.


Details | Lyric | |

The Sixes and Sevens Veil

All of those words and emotions Are tired of lingering in my throat and Mind I want to caress them onto you But how can I? Anon. there might be a time in our days I want to tell you-- I'm worthless, Broken, Diedre, Torned, Discarded, Abuse The past shouldn't control the present but it lingers in my spirit The words need to come out The Darkness with Them What if the truth couldn't set me free, save me from this candled day Underneath the Grove lies something dark, haunted, and confused Hidden in Life aren't we all abused Why can't Eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil I can't discard the decay But I'm still entrouved by the past days why can't eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil Shrouded against our will too scared to show our bare Vulnerable Shadowself It was the ignorance's bliss that caught you The Knowledge creates a burden Too Difficult to Maintain or was it I? trying to be part of your soul The Decay of Your Heart Sadness can be cured by a few words Despair is a disease of the Knife The Eclipse stole the Sun's Sinlight Underneath the Grove lies something dark, haunted, and confused Hidden in Life aren't we all abused Why can't Eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil I can't discard the decay But I'm still entrouved by the past days why can't eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil You can to try to condemn the pain Inside But only I can feel the Decay of my heart I know the quill is better than the razor But only I can feel the Decay of my heart Remember your eyes are hazed by bias lies But only I can feel the Decay of my heart Underneath the Grove lies something dark, haunted, and confused Hidden in Life aren't we all abused Why can't Eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil I can't discard the decay But I'm still entrouved by the past days why can't eyes see what lies beyond The Sixes and Sevens Veil You can to try to condemn the pain Inside But only I can feel the Decay of my heart I know the quill is better than the razor But only I can feel the Decay of my heart Remember your eyes are hazed by bias lies But only I can feel the Decay of my heart


Details | Lyric | |

Deteriorate

Cant build a thing
The chains holding me down
Have slowly rotted over time
I need a soul that carries on through the pain (when the walls start collapsing again)
Give me a heart the ceases to fail
Despite the infection within

Dont take for granted this world we live in
Nevermind the fragile dirt we all end in

Time has had its way with me
The trail ive walked down
Has Fastly Deteriorated
I need a soul that carries on through the pain (when the walls start collapsing again)
Give me a heart that ceases to fail
Despite what you will find in me

Dont take for granted this world we live in
Nevermind the fragile dirt we all end in


Details | Couplet | |

A Beautiful Season

As I open my eyes the pain shoots through my head
I swear some times I think I would be better off dead

I love my wife, kids and friends, empty they would be
So I’ll remain that lonesome vessel sailing across the sea

They all know that I gave up, gave up all of my dreams
Those of all the power, glory and living blatantly obscene

I had power on the streets and power up in the pen
Know that I was once proud to be the very breath of sin

What is it like once we start trying so hard to change
Know that every facet of our life we must re-arrange 

One day I started teaching about trying to reach our dreams
You see it is blind people that walk through Demons schemes

Demons schemes are hard to see, do you know the reason why
Just like in a storm the clouds will cover, all the blue up in the sky

Demons schemes are like a dream, offering all the pleasure we may feel
Some days for me to not fall back on them, takes every drop of my will

See every single day that I stay clean and stay true to myself
I gain just a little more insight as to what is truly wealth

Wealth is a frame of mind, offering freedom to our soul
I write my poems because I wish to simply reach that goal

And the one thing that I wish, the one thing that keeps me here
Is because I hope that just one soul won’t go, through all my tears

You see I have tasted emptiness that is as cold as cold as can be
I only hope that one of you will learn, Please don’t end up like me

Today is tomorrows past, so make it last, be all that you can be
Praise the Lord every second and say, I wish to live for thee

Storms will come and they will go nothing ever changes that
Trust in God and know in your heart, his love is where its at

He knows our prayers before there spoken as we kneel to pray
Bound to his will as well as time, if our prayers shall come to bay

I Praise him for the pain I’m in because I know he has a reason
And at the end of all the pain, will come a very beautiful season

Yesterday I overdosed so I figured I should add that information in
To be a true example of right we must include even the accidental sin

I could not believe the words I heard as they said you’ve overdosed
Though the taste of death in my mouth was as familiar as buttered toast

See I have tasted death so many times that it is like a long lost friend
My life is still the same only difference is, the truth I will not bend
-----------------------------------------------
This story is the truth and goes with my blog


Details | I do not know? | |

Star Drops (from Scenes From Above)

Feel the tear drops of a star, 
His long lost emotions taken to far, 
Watch him break down these bars, 
And take his misery to war, 
I don't wanna die an unholy casualty, 
Watch my enemies so coldly come after me, 
How can alter history, 
Uncover a path that's such a mystery, 
And I'll never close my eyes, 
Bare false witness and oppose innocent cries, 
Stress and the privilege of having less, 
Have bestowed on me, 
Touch my palms and feel the cold in me, 
Living proof of an accident, 
Mother raped, legs spread, no wall to relax against. 
And I'm nothing more than a have not! 
By the end of this poem I'll be forgot, 
And even as a foster child, 
No one could imagine the pain it cost to smile, 
Sign of depression is aggression, 
Sign of happiness, 
Is a small portion of affection, 
Feel the tear drops of a star, 
His long lost emotions taken to far, 
Watch him break down these bars, 
And take his misery to war, 
Now man made murder, 
Made criminals march in the same order, 
In this series of my life I can't play, 
Therefore the truth and past judgment I can't say! 
Years and years of swallowing tears, 
Struggle to follow my peers, 
I've been Cell bound, ball & chain locked on my soul. 
Constant pain stopped my longing to grow old, 
Angels giving me hell, 
Worse than strangers living on bail, 
A constant strain now my heart is screaming. 
It's a tragedy of how pleasant these demons is seeming 
My misery and stress are the key men, 
In this undivined teaming! 
But Lord hear me, 
It's like I'm labeled, 
And happiness won't stand near me, 
Feel the tear drops of a star, 
His long lost emotions taken to far, 
Watch him break down these bars, 
And take his misery to war,


Details | Free verse | |

straddling the edge

those of you who have settled, who have bent over backward for opportunities,
do you care who dies belittled in the backroads of debility, would you
take their place... no,
never..
their fate is to be lost forever
like ghosts, they are black stains on the face of the Host, the Devil, pay no attention
to the scars, they are the signs of homelessness that mar the eye
reminding of the heavy plight of mortality, the heaviest cross is baptized
in the river of loss,
and none would shove experience, none shun love, but if it's a stranger you don't
waste a breath, and share your lungs?
we look everyday and sweep the bothersome
under a heavy rug, I regret these cuffs
of pride placed on those without the blessing of motivation,
those I too went by smiling
lying hopeless and alone,
these are the ghosts of Toronto, dreaming of only a miracle
to protect them on empty streets, they wander with disappearing wings, no family
to help them realize they still have a chance to sing, to reach for the fruit of the earth and be the kings of their destiny,
I yearn for infinity, perhaps there is no kindness
but death.


Details | Rhyme | |

Dire

Dead curtains hold still,
Even when the wind blows..
The pain is white noise in the back ground, yet you kill.
Even when the time slows..
Hold your breath and try to stop breathing,
Stay busy while trying to act okay,
You will never get rid of the wound that's bleeding..
Because you try to choke back tears through out the day.
Play strong , the past is hard to die when the pain is still alive,
Even though on the inside you beg and plea,
Your feebly thrashing, its hard to live when your helping enemies thrive.
Your hearts being crushed fifty feet below the sea.

Free fall, walk backwards if it helps you move ahead,
Pursue happiness even if you have to run through fire,
Blurt sentences, even the ones you left unsaid.
But you do nothing, and your laughs so dire.

Ladle drops of pleasure by falsifying emotions,
Drop dead where you stand if you stray from the path,
Sink emotionally through the Earths core under the oceans.
And accept the fiery red wrath..


Details | Free verse | |

Bliss From A Bullet

Everyday I wake up to a mundane reality
Lying in bed thinking, waiting for dawn
Nothing left to believe in, no hope for society
With no more strength I can barely move on

Looking around I see people enjoying life, having fun
Their laughs mocking me as I sit alone
That’s it I can’t stand it, I’m done
Finally, to me the truth has been shown

No one cared, they never did, and never will
I need to end it all, society is full of it
With the gun to my head time seems to stand still
Now the only thing I can believe in is bliss from a bullet.


Details | I do not know? | |

"A Date with Uncertainty"

"A Date with Uncertainty"

the lies (story's)  of what was to come
is what I could not hold to be true 
be grave (brave ) to my misfortunes
slow death can be delivered too many times  
so why ask for justice 
it will come a hundred years too late
and no one, will ever guess the pain 
the pain of knowing, death placed, not by fate...   
 
aka:lyricvixen


Details | I do not know? | |

Death is Sweet

I can't help feeling like a loner, someone who walks off and never looks back. I hate being ones donor, who always ends in a crack. It hits me with a dagger in the heart, I nearly die but I'm not able to drop. I let the pain tear me apart, knowing I won't be rescued and the pain wouldn't stop. Finally I felt relief in my veins, heading to a place I could call mine. I felt free without my chains, I finally crossed the line. It was much better to breathe, in this beautiful land I could call home. I wasn't the only one to leave, and the many fields together we would roam. As one we both died, and we would wake to the sunrise. Understanding where we needed to glide, we bid each other our goodbyes.


Details | I do not know? | |

I'm Sorry

Looking back, I can see the footprints of my life. 
Stained with blood, their path is unsure, 
staggering like a wounded thing.

I sit cross-legged in the sand.

What is this life I have led so far?
Am I here to sort everyone’s pain but mine?
If so… why does it never work?
HOW is it that everyone I know takes their life?
Or at least… they try.

I take the knife in my hand.

On reflection… I suppose it’s my entire fault.
The way I’ve broken their spirits. 
The way their dull eyes stare back at me.
Begging me to release them from their pain.
Look what I’ve done!

My reflection in the blade makes me wretch.

I stare. Stare into nothing. 
The wind blows harshly, tearing at my face.
Assuring me I’m the wrong doer. 
Caressing my cheek with it’s icy blast.

I put the cold blade to my wrist.

My own selfish needs got the better of me. 
This result is not worth their lives.
I’ve failed so many times before, 
Tell me, Lord!
Why should I stay?

I cut. My crimson pain in unleashed from my veins.

Tears fall and mix with my blood.
My head spins and the world seems bleak.
This entire sphere of eternal struggle.
Hitler was right… 
Those who are weak do not deserve to live.

And so I put myself out of my misery.
My staggered path ends here.
In one bloody mess, 
I lay sprawled on the charred, dusty road.

I won’t thank you, Lord, for giving me life.

I’m just so sorry…

For all I have done.


Details | I do not know? | |

My Life of Death

My Life of Death

No, why me? That could’t be true.
I’m not deserving of this pain that deaths put me through. Tears and pain perfected by the 
people who LOVE me, forgiving in abundance so hatred won’t consume me.

Betrayed by the love your parents gave.
Pain by the generations that’s the same.
Angered by all the times life has let me down.
Saddened by all my love ones who could’t stay around.

Grief because I hate you and I know it in’t right. I keep telling myself there was happy times 
when I cry myself to sleep at night.
I try to make the good outweigh the bad,
But constantly I block the thoughts of the times you made me sad.

I love you not you love me because your love was conditionally anger, mad, sadness and 
grief I didn’t know happiness until happiness left me

Death you thought was physical too, But the death I speak if of you.

Goodbye.




Details | List | |

Everything Is'nt Okay

Everyone says everything will be okay 

But I know nothing is okay nothing is right 

The pain is killing me each second 

Kill me it hurts so much 

Give me more drugs 

Make the pain go away 

Help me Help me from dying 

Help me from the pain 

Put me out of this world of hurt 

Everything is going so cold 

Nothing is the same 

Everything is turning black 

I can't see you no more It's so cold in here help me 

My soul is going away 

The pain is going away 

Where am I going 

What is happening to me 

Everyone lied to me nothing is okay 

I'm dying 

No one knows why 

I don't want to die 

I wanna stay here with you 

Someone help me please 

Save me 

Save my life from this cold death 

Please 

I'm yelling out but no one can hear me 

PLEASE HELP ME 

Can anyone hear me? 

Can anyone see me? 

Where is everyone? 

Why is everyone crying? 

Why is everyone dressed in black? 

Why are my parents on the ground? 

Why is my boyfriend carrying casket? 

Who is in the casket? 

Why is there music playing? 

Where am I? 

What happen to me? 

Did I die? 

Please tell me I'm not gone 

Their putting me in the ground 

All I see is people crying 

Help me I don't want to leave 

I see everyone putting flowers on my grave 

I see everyone getting into their cars and driving away 

One year later 

Everyone is happy 

Everyone is smiling 

They look like they don't miss me 

I wonder if they can hear me say hi 

I wonder if they know I'm here 

I wonder if he has moved on 

I wonder if he's happy 

I wonder if he misses me


Details | Free verse | |

Bygone Days

The sick sadistic people that torture the kid
Thinking of thoughts to fascinating in sin
Hiding behind a stature of loneliness he hates
A time warp in his chest it elates
Swaying through time with no cause or mentality
He don't want to feel like a congenital abnormality
Piercing his mind with no anesthesia
Mind caught in the lake of amnesia
Grasping towards another minoral fate
Sometimes in this bygone world its too late
Suffering a wraith in his vivacious serenity
So sad and unaware with no amenity
This boy has suffered for a time of days
Like most diverse and beseeching in many ways
But tampered with is his lamp of time
Puppet strings in his head now a mime 
The prescription of happiness is a lie
Bury the darkness as a maggot one day be a fly
This is the torture of a teen so young
Now no speech they take your tongue
Its over
Its over
Slit it in his own health
Slayed down for his enlightened death....


Details | Blank verse | |

party on second street

Me a piece

Me a blast

Me a hit

Mea culpa


Details | ABC | |

Just so I'm with you

As I close my eyes and try to remember your face
A darkness comes I can't seem to erase 
I sit in silence just to hear your voice 
But the noise of how my life has changed is the only thing I can hear
My heart has let go, for feeling are too far gone 
But my mind holds on remembering a smile 
For I have no hope to hold on to now
And I'm stuck in limbo praying for hell 
Heaven never last 
With hell wrapped around like a cast 
You did what I told you to do 
Left no doubt of what you wanted to do 
The only question I have left 
Is what happen to the man I saw that day 
The beautiful words you called to say 
You loved me
For that I have no doubt and in all my years I thought pain had nothing left to teach me 
But pain taught me love wasn't enough 
So I come home to stare into brown eyes
That saved me countless times
To find death has taken hold
To the last thing that had my soul 
And with all the dying 
I've been trying to see the reason of love
But all that is left is pictures of days in the past 
When happiness seemed to last
Now like countless times before
I see my self wishing for the past even more 
Reaching with empty arms 
For something I can't have back 
And with you both my skin still can feel your touch 
My lips fear to have lust 
For they fit perfect with you 
But death had to claim you 
In that moment I saw my love was true 
So let me not fear this knife
With it's cold blade of truth 
Let me feel the blood 
From the heart that bleeds for you 
For if death can take you 
Then it can come for me too 
Rejoin us in heaven or hell 
Just so I'm with you 


Details | Rhyme | |

Eairlest Memory

My earliest memory is rather sad
I watched my mother die
Only memory of her I ever had
Through all the tears I cry

Some poems seem so hard to write
Will the pain never end?
Poetry to me is a spiritual fight
One that I hope to win

Most painful memory I can’t forget
One I cannot let go
It is a pain that I’ll never regret
Because I love her so

I don’t understand what a meter is
Or if I ever will
But I know that this truthful rhyme
Expresses how I feel


Details | Free verse | |

Bleeding into Numbness

"Bleeding into Numbness"

There I go again...FEELING.
I promised I'd never do that again.
              Stupid girl.
I need to stop.
How can I stop this?
I need to be numb.
I won't let this happen again.
I won't let them hurt me.
Don't feel.
              DON'T FEEL.
I know how to stop this. 
I'll do it real quick.
      Slice on this side;
                                   One more here
and 
  I
    am...


Details | Free verse | |

I Can't take you with me

I can't take you with me
As I ready to died I find my self needing your smiles.
I can't take the with me for missing them will be such pain.
I can't take the joy of you for there is no joy missing you.
I can't take your heart for missing the beat would not be fair.
Needing you is what keeps me fully going. But I can't take you with me.
I can't take your love because that's all you'll have for me.
But I'll take the memory of use. To hold.


Details | Free verse | |

Gregory

Gregory, Just an average man, with no secret…

His life was all in order, no son, no wife, no daughter…

He was known for slaughter, not too many people know this…

He keeps a list, everyone, including the mistress…

He has no weapon, only his little, stupid thoughts…

Gregory had a talent no one else knew of…

He could sing, sing till’ the cows came home!

But once Gregory made his change, he was not the same…

He was always finding things to blame, thinking life was a game…

You could say that Gregory was the same…

Until the night he walked into the freeway lane…

Maybe Gregory was a little insane, maybe he was a little hue…

But smarter than most, he never knew how to smile…

He tried and tried, but to society he was a ghost…

His little, stupid thoughts covered his emotions…

Gregory always thought of why he was here…

Gregory started to taste alcohol, it started as beer…

Ended as Heroin, his words always were…

At least I’m someone…

He laughed; Gregory knew that was a bad assumption…

No family to call, Gregory started taking his problems elsewhere…

And his little, stupid thoughts were right there beside him…

He grabbed his grandmother’s wicker basket…

His only words were…

“Fantastic…”


Details | Free verse | |

Disconnecting Numb

Forcing his way through a ocean of iniquity and negligence,
As malfeasances and misconducts concoct a deadly storm of uncertainty,
Demons and guilt torment him,
Obstructions and obstacles challenge him,
Misfortune and tragedy overwhelm him,
As he is subconsciously enveloped by an emotional numb,
Standing alone, even as he is surrounded by those he loves,
He a feels shiver-inducing tingle shave his spine,
Severing the last of his connection from the outside world.
Crying himself to sleep every night;
Without pain,
Without sadness,
Without anger,
The numb killing his soul,
Obliterating emotion,
Annihilating self-worth,
Disconnecting into a world of fog, 
Where one is never truly awake, but can not find peace in sleep,
The sorrow from solitude forces him out,
The depression from being invisible pushes him back in to confinement,
Anxiety and instability crushing ambition and inspiration,
The silk of motivation, which once rich and lustrous,
Is now tattered and broken,
Once a man, a human,
Now the broken shell of a person, without purpose,
Lacking axiom,
Integrity, broken,
Living a facade,
Wearing a smile, but dead behind the eyes,
Drifting from reality, leaving behind the body and mind,
A soul, free from the trials and constraints,
Without consequence,
Without regret,
He will no longer be forced to suffer through the melancholy that eradicated his life,
He will never again succumb to the desolation of his depression,
Never again, will he have the chance to create,
Never again, will he have the chance to inspire,
Never again, will he have the chance to love.
Never again, will he wonder if he is deceased, dreaming or alive.
He is now more alive than ever,
He is now in a state of eternal dreaming.


Details | Free verse | |

Yes, Yes, A Million Times, Yes I Hate You

new beginnings
are far to difficult
when the
past endings
have only ended to you
[and not the rest of the world]

i believe in THIS

you show me your life
but i ask
what is THIS

you truly love me
to avoid the world
but when you love me
THIS is causing the world to avoid you...

begone






fortold lies are prophecies to the men who give their children up to poison themselves
with their lusts

fornication...
your mind has become

question THIS

who ever gave you the right to live?




mock me
so i can see what i look like when i face you in those halls
the ones full of memories
i want to see the pain in your eyes [that pain that is your beauty]


yes... i believe that i give up in believin

THIS IS IT!


Details | I do not know? | |

Pain and Suffering

I feel the pain I should not bare I am suffering heart-brokenness To young of an age but I'm still here I will not give up I will feel the pain and just turn the other cheek I suffer So i can become stronger I;m still here I will not give up My life may seem painful My suffering seem long But I'm still here! I WILL NOT GIVE UP! I will feel the pain and I will suffer Through tick and thin Knowing your always there In my heart I AM STILL HERE Life, bring on the pain and suffering (Dedicated to Derek (D.J.) Risinger and Grady (Paw-Paw) Risinger. Always in my heart!


Details | Narrative | |

Left

Left

© By Holly W. Schwartztol

Early on that morning
I wracked my brain
Trying to solve
A computer glitch

As I left the wretched machine
I rose and felt suddenly dizzy
And as the room spun

I chided myself
Saying this isn’t worth
Your having a stroke

I lay down on the bed
Listened to a disc
That promised 
Relaxation and rest

My head stopped throbbing
And the phone rang
The caller ID said
Mother

What was she doing at 
Home in mid-morning?
Only the voice on 
The other end
Wasn’t hers

But the 
Maid I’d never met
Telling me of mother’s 
Neck pain and strange speech

And then I knew
That my pain had 
Really belonged to her

That my dizziness
Reflected hers and that
It was she who was
In fact having a stroke

Frantic calls ensued
Between Miami and New York
A neurologist
Saying that the stroke 

Had been massive 
That the prognosis was grim
Words of paralysis
And irretrievable
Brain damage

I faxed the living will
Which is really the
Will of the living isn’t it?

We sat by her bedside
For four endless days
And then her breath
Was no more and she was gone.

And at 62 I was 
Suddenly an orphan
Both parents gone
The older brother
Having gone 40 years ago

How do I live in
This world
On this planet
As the lonely satellite

The last member
Of my nuclear family
Here to sift through
The pictures

And the letters
And all the memorabilia that 
Make up a life




Details | I do not know? | |

Peace

Beautiful flowers fill the room
People gather around in disbelief
There is silence except for
the sound of tears
My husband and kids are in shock
Was this really happening
Or was it all a bad dream?
The pain they feel is unbearable
Their lives will never be the same
forever tarnished by this selfish act
Why did it have to come to this?
What did they do wrong?

What about me? Is my pain unbearable too?
Am I wondering why?
No, I'm not in any pain
I'm not wondering why, I know why
Life was too painful
Only death could take away the pain
I lay in a permanent sleep
inside my coffin
The peace I've always longed 
for is here at last.


Details | Elegy | |

UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN

The pain was so real for my brother Nate. We did not see the signs of the way he 
was feeling. If he cried out for help and let us know. My dear bother would still be 
hear and with the proper medicine he would begin to heal. What was you 
thinking  of that October day. When you took your own life that  ended so suddenly 
that way. Did you feel you were not loved and for that split second ended your life 
instead of calling for help before you plunged in the water. What was on your 
mind when you put your hands up with despair. And down in the water went the 
car on that October day. Did you cry out did you try and pray. Did you find the pain 
on this earth too much to cope. Dearest brother you are very missed it is sad but 
true. Have I not told you more often that I do love you. I feel a loss without you 
hear. I wish you were not gone I wish you were near. I can't stand the pain it is too 
hard to bear Too For I look to this day that I wish I can change. That I made more 
time with you my brother now it too late because you are in heaven with the 
angels on high  I will always love you my dear brother Nate you will always hold a 
special place in my heart until we meet again in heaven the most beautiful place 
where we will have no more tears and pain. Dearest brother until we meet again 
I will love you always until the day when I die I will join you then only then we will 
not depart.






Details | Rhyme | |

Waiting There

Waiting There
© Ben Burton 1-09-2014

We spent forever seizing days
At night we'd rest in sweet embrace
Too soon, the years had slipped away
Last Autumn brought our last goodbye
I looked at her through tear-filled eyes
She held my hand and somehow smiled
And thanked me for the memories
I nodded, but I couldn't speak
She drifted toward infinity
Without her here, I'm so much less
There's pain within each hollow breath
I hear my voice call out to death
Prepared to fling myself below
That fatal leap's my only hope
Though not if it destroys my soul
Yet, some say souls are merely myth
That after death no trace exists
But I could feel hers in her kiss
In every word, expression, deed
And when she died, I felt it leave
That it be myth, I can't conceive
I'll find a way to get through life
Trust the Divine with my demise
And think of her most of the time
Remembering her face so fair
Her tender touch and loving stare
I trust we'll meet again out there
Dear God, she must be waiting there


Details | Free verse | |

Free Hand

Ghost hums, his sweet little lullaby
Lulls her to sleep
Even when she is black and brown
Sore from being beat
He wipes away those spent tears
As she shakes late at night
Her fear feeds his sorrow
As he holds her tight
Screaming and fighting
Trying to escape
Hangs his head, not wanting to watch
For he already knows her fate
Dried blood on her cheek
Fresh pain in her eyes
Soon she will not fear at all
For soon she will have died
Moon shines on her face
Pleading to be free
He kisses her lips softly                                                                                                                                              For soon she will be with he
The dark night has come
Her screams is what he'll hum
It will take only moments
For her life to come undone
Time slowly comes
Whimpering on the floor she lays
Covered in her blood
Her nightmares come out to play
He holds her hands
Which are slowly growing cold
And he smiles at her, letting her know
That when her life drains out
It is a free hand he will hold...... 


Details | ABC | |

eternal sleep

I hurt so badly
The pain is deep
I cry at night
I cant sleep
my stomachs knotted
I cant eat
my chest feels heavy
I cant breath
I feel desperation
I feel despair
I feel im slipping
No one cares
I take this blade
the cut is deep
I rest my eyes
eternal sleep


Details | Free verse | |

Silent Smile

The pain would not leave
It haunted me
Showing me what might have been
Taunting
Killing me with the images 
Of you
Tonight I have had enough
I am giving up
No longer can I take it
The pain of your absence
Tonight there is no moon
It is silent and black
My eyes are filled with tears
Tonight I will see you
Be in your arms
Feel your breath on my skin
Tonight I get to die

I smile to myself silently
As the coffin lid shuts.


Details | Elegy | |

Pro War Fantasy

Let's hear them yell, cheer, and shout!
 Watch them pray for it with passionate hearts

Body count reaching eight thousand, but who cares?
 Mass trauma infliction, but who cares?


You can hear their excitement from miles away.
 Endless occupation is their Christmas wish

The long contained desire for scorched earth...
 Is that what they cherish in a mother's prayer?

Fifty years in and still squealing for more
 Nothing brings them comfort, but a bloodthirsty war


Details | Free verse | |

From the bottom I reach

I awake..no sound..im knocked down..
I cry, I try, I go through the day but bearley get by....
Im lost in darkness..trying to find a way out...
My heart searches for something....
But I don't know what it's about...
I'ts deep...I reach for things that I shouldn't...
Things that are not me.....
Something release me .....
Someone step in......
This pain is so deep...
This pain's deep within...
No one's around.....
I'm far beyond reach...i've sunk to the bottom...
I'm to far to be reached....untill...
I suffered to long...god gave me a song...
Insperation unknown, I'm alive, I won...
Sometimes the journey through life, starts out real strong and ends up with pain and loss, and you can't go on....
So you search for the thing's that happiness brings...there's just so much despair, the happiness is not there....
We have to reach beyond, dig, and find...we each have a song, a love that is strong...


Details | Free verse | |

His Call

Stop and read no farther if your heart is weak, because this story’s ending surely 
will be bleak.

If you’re prone to nightmares following any gore, I suggest you STOP my friend 
and read no more. 

Lovey dovey poems just aren’t my cup of tea, if you’re drawn to darkness then 
honey come with me.

Death, Pain, and Sorrow are the stars of this misadventure, there are no “super 
heroes” here of this you can be sure!

Sorrow is a villain that comes both night and day, when he has you in his grip 
you’ll never get away.

Pain is Sorrow’s sidekick she strikes the body and the mind, just like her partner 
no escape from her you’ll find.

Now we’re to the worse villain of them all, Death he shows no mercy, we each 
will get his call.

Why you ask is Death the worst villain of this piece? Death will show no pity as 
you beg him for release.

Death he brings on Sorrow and gives him all his power, then he stands back 
watching this is his finest hour!

Death then calls on Pain to join Sorrow at his side, when those three are lurking 
there is no where to hide.

Now it’s time for Sorrow and Pain to let Death take center stage, Death pulls out 
his pistols, he calls them “FEAR and RAGE”.

BANG, BANG he takes his first shots and a bulls eye he does score, THUMP, 
THUMP is all you hear as the body hits the floor.

He’s holsters up his weapons smiles and says “I’ve done my part”, Now it’s your 
turn Sorrow this is where you start.

Vicious cycle so you say, well that is just to bad, I told from the beginning this 
ending would be sad. 


Details | Rhyme | |

Ready Set Die

Anger is set
No emotions bound
Lost of affection
Darkness is found
Tools are gathered
Brain is prepared
Ending tragic memories
None will be spared
Weapon of choice
Not yet decided
Next to the devil
Which whom I've sided
Whatever the outcome
Blood will be shed
Ready,get set
Death is ahead


Details | ABC | |

R.I.P Bianca

You put the gun to your head
Cocked it, now you're dead
Such a life to go to waste
Such devastation you faced
You were the best of people; jolly and kind
But no one saw what lurked behind
Mom's gun seemed to be your new best friend
the only thing to make your pain end
The shots rang out
No one would know what this was about
People cried; people mourned
Suddenly our lives were torn
Its too late for you to return
You made it your turn
You thought there was no one there
This pain was too high of a burden to bare
So you took an alternative to breathing
You took the option of leaving
No longer here
Only grief runs through these tears 
What a gift it would be to hug you again
What a gidt it would be to see my friend


Details | Free verse | |

Slit Wrist

Blood flows down the drain
as i slowly cut my vein
deeper and deeper the razor goes
less and less oxygen flows
Blood drips on the paper
to let suicide be shown
slit my wrist and off i go
emotionless
letting no pain show


Details | Free verse | |

Can Their

Can their be a heaven while your in my Hell?

Can their be a chorus in waiting through smell?
Can their be a flicker of hesitation amidst the pain?
Can their be any silence lest of course I refrain;
A window with children outside playing a game,

A shoulder to cry out in the pouring rain...
The silence;
Amidst a shadow torn in shutters peak,
Something to taunt though even the weak?

Can their be a host of angels in disguise?
To hide behind the inner pain of falsehood & compromise;
Chased dreams from your hair my pretty child prove the day/
Out of  sadness nestled in the mere fabric of desolation

Provoked to tears will feed all fears divorced for many years.,
In pillage turned to dust,
Can their be gold in them hills
Now whom do you trust?

Can their be an alternative out of heaven & Hell.,
Today, I have a great story to tell,
Out of sadness a slight bitterness;
Shades of pain leading to its demise in torment
Shades of trees polished amidst its brightened decorum
Eternity

Can their be ?


Details | Rhyme | |

The Eternal Cycle

A man could raise a nation
Free all from being bound
And yet in the space of time
It wouldn't make a sound.

A girl feels her aching heart
The intolerable pain in her chest
But little does she realize
She's no different from the rest.

For all the good we do
And all the pain we must endure
It's doubtful that any one of us
Has made our world more pure.

Perhaps our actions will last
For a century or two
But in the end it all goes back
No matter how much good we do.


Details | Free verse | |

Labor Without Bread

She was a farmer
And sowed ten seeds
Three of them died prematurely
She was nurturing the rest
With hope and faith to win
But as she was not looking
And before she begin to harvest
Killers raided and took her precious life
Making her labor fruitless
Oh! How she wished to enjoy this bread
The bread of her hard labor
Ahh! It's very very painful
To labor without enjoying the bread


Details | Free verse | |

Our Love I Will Always Hold

It is this final day I dread
Like a blanket of grave despair
That suffocates my heart

It is all I can do, to stop this scream from wrenching forth
As I watch your breath labour...My love
Through tears I watch you try and squeeze my hand

Knowing HE stalks the room, pushing that evil
Ever so closer to your soul
As our eyes betray what little tears we have left

What time will thieve from our future at HIS behest
My God I pray don’t forsake us
Take this wretched Beast and cast him from her pain

As surely our love still burns below the coals 
HE has strewn from our dying hearth

My love... I am numb with fear as I watch you wither
As I sit here crying with tears that never dry up...My sweet love
I watch HIM seize your last breath through our hold

My love...
Our love I will always hold...




Elly Wouterse’s contest “Maybe the last letter”
4 September 2014


Details | I do not know? | |

tears of sorrow

The sadness of heaven 
as people leave this world
day by day 
Tears of sorrow coming my way 
Feeling the pain deep inside 
knowing that i cant hide
Feeling lonely and thinking it 
is my fought 
but what do i have to ought 
Watching the doves pass by 
But i didnt want to say goodbye 
Seeing my people die 
left me with a bow tie
Only God know whats better
When we know it matters
Having to believe that God is 
a miracle 
Would make some people life miserable 
Deep in my soul 
i know its my time to go
Feeling the same as others
looking at the dove passing by my window 
Wondering it was time for me to go 
As I watch the casket roll out to the burier 
I felt pain all over me
My body shivering 
like cool water
The next day i didnt eat 
sleep, nor drink
for days 
then i got weak and couldnt get 
up off the floor 
crying for help 
No answer and 
no sound of me 
I was Dead


Details | Rhyme | |

An eye for an eye

Six years ago, I perjured myself at a murder trial.
Now I realize what I did was both evil and vile.
My poor sister was the person who was killed.
When I testified, the defendant's fate was sealed.

I was so sure that he was guilty, that's why I lied.
The man was sentenced to death after he was tried.
I wanted that man to die ever since he was placed under arrest.
But two months ago, another man came forward and confessed.

That man went to the gas chamber because I said that I saw him kill my sister.
I was consumed by pain and anger and I really missed her.
I really did wrong when I took the stand.
My lie caused the death of an innocent man.

I confessed that I perjured myself and now I'm in jail.
I feel so much pain and remorse and now I live in hell.
I felt that it was an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
Justice would've prevailed if I had simply told the truth.

(THIS IS A FICTIONAL POEM.)


Details | Verse | |

Loss

‘Do not fear’, she told me
as I measured the value of carrying on
with a life with a gap, 
with a life on my own.

‘Your pain will diminish’, 
was a covenant she made
without a lie in her voice, 
but with an ephemeral attempt.

We balanced each other’s pain
for less than a year and a half.
Then a man tempted her away
and a plague sickened my heart.

I have thrust away her love
like she pushed away my being.
Now a chasm lies between us,
which I have dug despite my craving 
to cross to the other side, 
to throw my arms around her, 
to accept the other guy, 
their communion and their ardor.

I don’t seek to ruin
the security that she built,
but I wish that she could see
how alone for years I’ve felt. 

My pain never diminished,
but its intensity has augmented.
Now I mourn for not one loss,
but a second that I’ve created.


Details | Free verse | |

Pressure

The truth revealed; regret settles in.
"Why, why me?!?!?!"
The blades whipped out; hatred.
Knight in armor, mutated into satan.
"Your devil horns stab my back!! Why you have NO mercy to me?!?!?!"
Can't forget...the stained corner calls. 
Pulled in...your face in sight.
"Help!!! Please, I beg you!!!"
Reached out hand..so close to touch...gone.
Slipped into the hell you left on my shoulders.


Details | Free verse | |

The Visit

11:21 PM 9/27/01                         The Visit

I sit in splendor amongst the sun
Of an afternoon sky

Surrounded
I look below to see the stones
Skyward proud they stand

Some I know, most imagined
All the quieter now

Deer travel the fringes here
Off to the East a bit
Never to offend these resting souls
Passersby in life

In a moment of silence I sit......
Remembering 
How precious life can be

How voices no longer heard
Can resound within the soul
Lighten the sky in brilliance
Form clouds in shapes of love

Me in the afternoon sun
And you in my beating heart

A reflection of the day










Details | I do not know? | |

Saddest Sin

He said he remembered when, 
when all the pain within, over took him, 
He said please don't cry my friend, when,
when i kneel'd next to him,

Goodbye my sin I said, 
as i raised my hands to him, 
all the pain from deep within,
oh all the pain came back again.


Details | Free verse | |

Song Of A Fallen Angel

Words echo though a black chasm
Prayers of angels
Angels with their wings torn away
Covered with soot and blood
Deserted by those more holy
They suffer
Crying for all eternity
Shouts of pain and death
Sounds of torment
Blend together into a bleak song
Resounding off dark grey stones
The song fades into the darkness
But the song
The pain and the torment
Never ends


Details | Light Poetry | |

Through The Pains Of Young Love Lost

Through The Pains Of Young Love Lost


I feel for your eyes for your smile and the trick you pulled on me.I was young I was in love.
Every time we talked I felt nervous but I was more happy to speak to you.But the day you left this world I felt my heart break I slowly started drifting from this world that no longer held you.I could have protect you I could have showed you my love,but I did see the pain behind your laugh.No more I want to be with you This world no longer has you I shall travel to the farthest reach of the earth just to fell your warm touch your wonderful smile and your beauty once again.I will even end my life to be with you that is how much you mean to me.But I must think for I know that you would want me to live but the pain of losing you make me question that very thought how can I how must I move on move forward?This pain is something I must carry for it is what remind me of you.It is something hideous yet it is beautiful that why I shall live but I shall die for in this world you no longer or held or loved and remember.This is the pain of going through love and losing love lost to it all in youth. 


Details | Free verse | |

A Life

A Life A life, it's a pain to create it and a pain to see it leave It could be ripped away in a second Or held in your hand until your old and gray You wanna take care of it But you wanna be limitless on what you can do. So how can you do anything when you're too scared to lose something so little? In the end we all die But why do some of us choose to not do anything meaningful? Is it because we're scared of death or because we don't have the heart to do it? And worst of all some people choose to take others livea with theirs But why would they take someone's life when that person has so much to look up to. They shouldn't be able to choose who lives and who dies. A life is small but it's given to you for a reason to do the most you can with it without fear To go out there and show everyone that you can't just sit on your ass and expect everything to turn out okay You have to get up and take a stand even if it means that you have to give up your life Because it's better to have a short meaningful life that will be rememberd forever Than a long meaningless life that will fade away from the world like smoke.


Details | Rhyme | |

Notoriety

What’s the point of fame
When only death will guarantee it?
Killers wanting notoriety
Won’t get to see it.

Pulling triggers isn’t hard
And only calls attention
To the fact that murderers,
Not worthy of a mention,

Believe that just one massacre
Will grab the public’s eye;
And here we are, to prove the point,
All wanting to know why.

The reason, though, is obvious – 
A crazy, desperate plea
To anyone and everyone,
Imploring, “Look at me!”

The problem with that rationale
Is who’d want to be known
For such a heinous act
That not one person would condone?

For one who feels invisible,
I guess that recognition
Could only be achieved
With firearms and ammunition.

And so we mourn and grant renown
To he who caused our grief;
But knowing that he took his life
Won’t give us much relief.


Details | I do not know? | |

Morbid Thoughts Morbid Reality

Pain, anguish
Thoughts that won’t hide
It’s amazing how people change your life

Once a happy person now filled with pain
A pain that no one can hide
A pain that takes away pride

Your not even you
Your someone else
Lost in a sea of guilt and torment

A torture thrown unto ourselves
Being trapped trapped in side
With no way out
The razor seems safe
Without a shadow of doubt.


Details | Free verse | |