Running through my mind,
Running through my veins,
A silica odor, dust walks through a fresh desert night
Cool air beneath and above the sea
A warm furnace smell, I don’t understand
Intricate to rise and receive without knowing
Up ahead in a virtue distance
A mysterious poisonous effluvium light-
My face feels like a leaf'
My sun holds up its own pendulum rods
Inflammation comes and settles in for the night,
There it stands in a pertinacious manner, with quality
I resurrect this air created from madness, all over again
Twilight, rain stranger than strange
Visions, pursue my path into an infested dark pasture
"From the red Heaven I fell into the waters of a cobalt Hell"
Perhaps this venerable moment, will pass slower than slow
If I accept, and then decline
Would this balance the precocious state I live in?
How about when wrong directions follow my promiscuous ways
Is my conglomeration of ideas, no longer safe?
When I no longer value the values of the young
Will I sleep at the mercy of his ancient heart
They're the voices give and take from our health
Today, those soft, perfect eyes are calling from far away,
Ashes high, vapors and infection welding me
The bright skies swallow every thin silver line,
Where the clouds sit somehow~ in bacteria
YES UNITY! Fantabulously-fantastic!
Always, wanting more than love can touch
We are living' it up with no alibis!
A way to be and not to BE!
The champagne leaves their cup
Awaken in a life, disturbed ~ NOW INTERRUPT!
Only in this world, lava will reach her lips
Prisoners and doers;
All night…. Too late for a treatment
Lungs, decaying, evil rats
Direction, affection, ending all the inhalation
Running through my lungs,
Flat-lined my life ____/\ /\___ ___/\______/\___ _______________
I cannot compete with something as painstakingly glorious as you
Envy is but a humbling tumble down a steep, rocky hill
I am crushed in your fits of glory—your screaming for passion
My approaches are absolutely wrong
Therefore my communication is a weak, ransomed victim
Your poison arrow frog skin rubs against my exposed body
I happily accept my fate
For your beauty surpasses the ephemeral pain of the infectious reign
My erroneous, inevitable downfall
I hold you up—I feel the need to keep you tall!
Michael the Archangel did not insult you once, Lucifer
How then will I?
How can I possibly be higher than you?-
Why would I want to?
I admire your freedom
I simply disregard your macrodomes of ever-worshiped flaw
If I could allow myself, I would share in your glory
Only to add to it further
But as I am poisoned with the truth
I can only be your grounded pedestal
And though you flee from humility in its wake upon my brow
I realize everyday you are living for the grounded now
And I merely look to the unknown future
A place I dread where you unwillingly hold me up
Bonded in the ground with Death and Hades
You become my pedestal, and the worms my vineyard
My parasitic feet seer your glory
I am ever so sorry
I never wanted this renown
There was a time I do recall
When you overtook me in my sleep
I cried aloud in helpless acceptance
But soon I was forced in a croak of laughter
I felt your bitter poison
I felt pride at last
I thank you for it
I thank you for showing me
What I will never be
Provoke me no longer to praise your eternal existence
Generations of Evening take a hold of me now
And the fruit must be shared
Daddy never did understand.
That violence doesnt bring comfort.
A lost soul seeking acceptance from a unwelcome hand.
She was silent no one ever knew.
The secrets behind her bruised eyes.
A shocking victem none but all had a clue.
She cried to empty walls never speaking aloud from fear.
A confession of pain and shattred trust.
this is only what angles hear.
Scars selfinflicted are better than that
As she lays a broken shell gazing at the celling.
She questions if others know what will they say.
Doing whatever it takes to stay numb.
Innocence lost a parent should never betray.
The guilt was placed apon the wrong head.
Void of all emotion.
No child should yern to be dead.
At times it gets to uncomfortable so in
another direction we steer.
For at times it's just to painful to stomach.
What only angles hear.
If you Really Knew Me
By Kevin Robey
Febraury 16, 2013
If you really knew me, you’d see through these lies
The smiles and laughs, can’t conceal my eyes
You won’t ask questions, you won’t suspect
You won’t see it coming, my final misstep
If you read this now, you know it’s true
Maybe there never was a me and you
So many times, I fall so hard
Don’t rise again, joy’s much too far
I wish I was stronger, but my mind is stuck
I made it this far, based solely on blind luck
I know you’d tell me, to take it easy
This upcoming part may make you queasy
Be kind, and notify my next of kin
Leave out the part of my final sin
Another one in line with many
Proof I was my own worst enemy
Join me in my dark and twisted fantasy
Of opened wrists, my last reality
My breathing slows, as the crimson glistens
My thoughts are peaceful, lean in and listen
Let’s make this emo, and write a note
I’ll even throw in a depressing quote
Maybe goodbye, sorry, and such
You say I had it all, I say not so much
These medals and trophies seem to say
That I made the most of every day
The truth is I was simply biding my time
None of those moments were truly mine
You see everything, but I leave with nothing
Didn’t believe me, you accused me of bluffing
So see me now, as I bleed to the floor
Take time and read to me that final score
The end is here, the war is won
The battle is lost, but wasn’t it fun?
Torturous dreams and false realities
Were the only real friends to me
So it’s time to sign out
I promise not to shout
Sweep me under the rug
Let me go, I’ll pull the plug
The end is here, I’m so relieved
Despite of all I managed to achieve
Don’t cry for me, I’m finally happy
This is my last wish, my final plea
So I close my eyes for the final time
I think to the beauty in words that rhyme
My final exhale marks the final scene
Knowing nothing is ever, quite as it seems
Things that seemed poetic were always sad,
though I yearned for sparkle
and my dad's guffaw, which never came.
Familiar things were always drear --
repeated motions in the same old game.
There were only distant glimpses
of budding spring, fleeting views
of daffodils. The strongest
poems dealt me death and dying.
Yet I always hoped, never went under
to gray despair, always dreaming
of a garden of love that we could share.
But those forbidden delights faded
quickly away; the only reality
I understand is the ever-looming
and final one. Nothing's changed.
The strongest poems deal death and dying.
This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
I couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
A song about old promises
Made so long ago
Created and cremated
Ashes of the words I spoke
Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
Memory of a mother
Shared my dreams and really cared
Long separated by the miles
Distanced from her golden smiles
I know I wasn’t there……
Would have placed
A magic carpet
‘neath your weak and shaky legs
Would have raised
A strong west wind
Let you breathe with ease again
Would have bribed
God’s venal angels
Come and soothe your endless pain
Would have vanquished
All the demons
And bring peace to you again
Be the child
I never knew
In a land
We won’t grow old
Be the light
I always loved
Warmed my dark
And lonely soul
Be the girl
In a world
The sun won’t set
Be the laughter
Calms my heart
I never will forget
I won’t forget, won’t forget
This song is for my mother
Let her hear me cry
Couldn’t bring myself to write it
‘Til this darkened day arrived
Song about old promises
Made so long ago
Ashes of the words I spoke
I broke my promises, oh mama
Now you’ve gone away
Drowning in the pain each day
This song is for my mother
Let her hear me…….
What makes the decision
To flick the switch
To end ones life
For the sake of it
Bullied at school
Fork in the road
To let death rule
Daughters and sons
What ever affects them
They just can't outrun
Sadness and tears
By all left behind
Will they ever understand
I was alone
The sky turned shades of grey
Sharp shards of tears pierced my cold skin
Looking into the mirror, I looked past death
Reflective paleness of my soul
Bruising inside and out
I lost my will
Date: December 04, 2014
I'm not the person you think you see
'Cause I've got demons inside of me
I may have a smile on my lips
But I have cuts on my wrists and hips
You see I'm damaged, fractured, and broke
I'm surprised I still have hope
No one loves a broken girl
Especially not in this big bad world,
I'm too far gone and you can't save me now
So I will just keep falling down, down, down
Into the depths of my own demise
But it's nothing new, not a surprise,
These demons here hate me so
Sometimes I think I should just go
'Cause I welcome death with open arms
Death looks nice, it has so much charm,
Nobody here loves me anymore
And life is such a dastardly chore
They want me gone, I can tell so much
And someone told me to never trust
So now I know everyone lies
This is what many people need to realize,
But people will always trust
'Til that trust turns to dust
And take a shot in the dark
Until they are torn apart,
And now maybe you see
Why I have demons haunting me
But if you do not
Then you don't know the battles I've fought
And don't judge me at all
Because I will just continue to fall
That disturbed child
The teen girl with no friends,
and is rejected by her loved ones
She feels broken inside,
like theres no other choice
She takes the iron razor,
she puts it to her arm and hopes the pain will fade,
but in the end it only makes her feel worse
She does this to herself not because she is sad,
but because she doesn't think any one cares
What if I put this razor to my throat,
and ended my life
Would they care then?
She feels like no one cares
What she doesn't realize is,
if she died a river of tears would come,
even faster then the blood would run from her
If she only knew life can be brighter
If she would only see,
that she is loved
That disturbed child,
We miss her
and theres no getting her back
What could we have done
Was there any changing her mind
Only God knows
sometimes i talk to myself,
my mind is racing,
i dont know what to do...
so hard to explain.
depression isn't a stage
or a faze some kids go through
it shatters you...
i saw it all.
she cried silent in her bed,
blood stains covered her favorite jeans,
her every shirt,
long sleeve ofcourse...
she suffered through it all with few people to call friend
and more to call enemy
even more to say where quite dissappointed....
her first name in school,
not started by a bully
or a mean rival,
but by her sister,
and it echoed through her soul,
repeating in her mind... over and over again,
like the ripples of still water
when a pebble is dropped
flash frozen in time
over and over again...
It was the first name they gave her,
millions where created over the years,
some repeating again, just as the first had..
gothic they called her,
emo, fat, ugly....worse things.
but in her mind, things where worse.
everything was repeating,
over and over again,
finally she believed it.
she asked for help, from everyone
tried to explain to parents she wasnt well,
got called a psycho for asking to see a theripist,
not from a teacher,
not from a class mate,
but from her own father, who wouldn't, couldn't,
believe there could possibly be a thing wrong....
finally, crying, she confessed her bloody secret to a teacher.
rather then giving her time,
she is sent back to class crying her eyes out, as if she wherent going through enough...
she is sent to the principals office a few minutes later, after breaking down in class...
the princlipal says she needs help,
sends her and her dad for a risk evaluation,
her dads crying as she shows him her cuts...
they walk into a hospital room,
it smells of chemicals and hand sanitizer,
the lady at the desk gives her a smile.
then she goes into a room with a lady,
her cheeks are sunken in and shes wearing way too much makeup,
the girl is gaging on her perfume,
and she looks really intimidating....
her dark brown hair looks dead and flat
even though its a bit wavy,
and she wears somewhat of a mocking frown.
asks her all these questions,
is mommy beating her?
is daddy raping her?
is she doing drugs?
is anyone beating her?
did anyone molest her?
oxcarbezapine, trazadone, citalipran, clinazapam, colonipan,
valium, lithium, more.......
and thats what they gave her,
some numbed the pain
some brought it out
tearing through her organs,
she became an addict by the time she was fourteen....
over dose after over dose
some for pleasure
some for pain,
gashes on her legs getting deeper,
this time she didnt tell a soul,
not even those she had come to call friends....
wakeup she screamed in her head over and over again
as she dropped weight like it was nothing....
you cant controll it she argued as things became worse.
at age fourteen she attempted suicide,
she didnt quite succeed.
the medication took away her aappitite....
she liked it
she hated her body
felt out of controll
found a new way to cope
as she shoved tooth brush after toothbrush down her throat
to keep her body from nuitrients...
as she whent weeks and weeks spitting food into napkins and making excuses
I ate at my friends house....
spoken as a whisper
heard like a sentance
echoing in her mind over and over again,
along with that word, all the words,
ugy, anoying, stupid, fake, worthless, nothing...
one bite she would say
rocking back and forth
craving nothing but food
her body racked with hunger pain
one bite and there she was again
over and over and over again
back to a toothbrush
this time she sees blood
she saw her ribs
she saw her bones,
it wasnt good enough,
she almost died, again....
choking on this deep dissappointment in herself,
gaging on everything they where pushing down her throat,
their words, and their insults, their criticism.... their drugs
all shoved down her throat like candy
and just as she was was trained to do she swallowed despite the bad taste
or the hurt
or the fact that at the rate she was going she would be dead soon...
and you know why?
because daddy yelled
and couldnt accept what was happening
not because he wanted to hurt her
but because it hurt him,
and she let him believe,
because she could take the hurt if it meant he didnt have too.
because mommy didnt want to sit in her room all day
practically having us raise ourselves,
she didnt mean to take anger, or frustration or hurt out on her daughter
she suffered everyday in her solitary confinement,
and from a young age she accepted her bedroom was the cage
her mother had created for herself.
because sister didnt want to effect her the way she did
she was just frustrated
fed up with the way things where
scared, she needed someone to take her cruelty
and to help heal her pain...
because people in school
who where so cruel
had to have learned from somewhere
and she wasnt going to play into their games,
and they knew she was an easy target
because she would never attack someone so weak
and she accepted her suffering was a sacrafice
to help all these people....
to help her dad,
every person who was beaten abused or hurt
and felt so weak at home they wanted to feel strong in the one safe place they had.
because depite the fact she had died inside,
and almost passed away on the out,
it was a saccrafice she was willing to make
so that no one else would have to feel that kind of pain,
and they all inflicted it and broke her down'untill there was nothing left but a shell
of somthing that could have been
and never had the chance
because she would take it and wouldnt strike back,
because sometimes "just taking it"
isnt so much about the weakness not to do anything
but about the strangth not to hurt others the way they hurt you...
Spin off Happy Days
Na-Nu Na-Nu Shaz-Bot man
Planet Ork Mork fly!
© PoeTTreeZ Publishing
Laying her back on the wall of her prison
Why was it different
It hurt more
Grief affecting her
This terrible ache consuming every pore
Harder to swallow
It was him she's sure
She loons at me
I know the look
She's hiding behind the sofa
Saying he's been back banging on the door
I know it was the tumble dryer upstairs
Her eyes are bloodshot
A beautiful bright blue bloodshot
Wide as fish eyes
She's been pacing all night holding a knife
She's holding an umbrella
I took the knives last time she cut her wrists
She's in torn clothes as she tears at her flesh
I feel my flesh tear
That's her last nice dress
No longer nice but torn and red
I give her trousers and a belt
My own only just brought
They drown her
At least she's covered
She says he's been calling her all night on the phone
I took the phone when she smashed it on the wall
I try to think of everything
In the bathroom there's hair in the chipped shabby sink
She's been pulling it out by the roots
I feel my scalp it's sore, alien
I feel everything
I removed the scissors when she shredded her scalp cutting her hair off
Saying this is why he had her
Her long golden hair
In the cabinet, too many
Too many pills
She should of taken these
Promising to take her pills, begging don't send me back to hell
But at the secure unit she's safe
Says she'll have a bath and
be better tomorrow
She's settled, I'm settled
So I leave
I'll come back in the morning
I sleep soundly
First night in months
The morning light gives me slight hope
I can't remember this feeling much
I hear a crash
I'm taking too long
Kicking the door in
I thank God for kickboxing
She's swinging from the oak beam in the ceiling
My belt around her neck
I look for a knife
I look for scissors
To cut her down
Cut me down
I look for a phone to call an ambulance
I feel my body juddering
My heart stop beating
The new belt
I hadn't thought about the belt
Once bloomed a rose so young and fair
With dark brown eyes and long black hair
Beside her be a tall dark tree
Whose branches stretch to smother thee
Too close beside the shadowy bark
That soon begins to leave its mark
She cries for help, but none shall hear
Her thorns too sharp, who’d dare go near?
To save this rose, who’d risk their life?
With naught to gain but pain and strife
Alone, afraid, she lays to rest
Her heart beats low inside her chest
And with the hour growing near
She sheds her final grieving tear
And so the rose soon falls asunder
Her final day, eternal slumber
She lies beside the old dark tree
The only one who mourns for thee
Alone in loneliness
Amid forever nights
And these four walls
In faint, whisper soft your name
I beg out loud to the nothingness that remains
"Please not another nightmare, no more storms"
But, answers are merely glimpses of light
Filtering through the pane
Cast empty shadows on the wall
Of places where you used to be
Eyes wide open
Now asleep, afraid I am to fall
Trapped within this never ending dream
I cling to all the memories that I have
Spinning me closer to where you were, in parallel on the edge
The thoughts, like imaginary rubble, comes tumbling passed
A fire for you still burning inside
Why can’t I let go of the tragedies last
And silence your unrescued suicidal screams
Or is it only the rain falling faster as it taps harder, and harder upon the glass
Or is it of your wandering spirit
Haunting with its vindications
Of "why’s" I can never seem to grasp
All this amidst lost stares into black windows
Where gutters overrunning, burdened by the strains
And I swear I see your reflection
Among the flashes, tracing out illuminations about your face
And for the first time
You are noticeably absent of all the worldly pains
And your lips releasing out a comfort that for so long I've been seeking
As I hear the words echo within my stormy heart "That where you are everything is okay"
Note:***This poem is meant to be read from the bottom to the top, left to right
and you remain—
For the World has gone from me and fled
The stairway of my mind shall never end
I accept the fate with the grinning dead
Hello again demons, hello friends
Alas! I fall and I am done
Tell me where have you fled, my love, my friend?
For a moment I gaze upon the sun
Here I am on earth again
1 Stair Remains
Why can’t I be free?
Tell me, why aren’t they looking at thee?
Why are they looking at me?
2 Stairs Remain
The garments of comfort I long to wear
Knowing in my heart that I’ll never win
I skip that grimy third stair
Like most of my life has been
3 Stairs Remain
Though my infected feet leave bloodstains
I can’t release even a single tear
The poisons encompass my river of veins
I step on thorns of wrath and fear
Enshrouded with pain!
4 Stairs Remain
Oh, how am I to survive?
Relieve me from this ever-fixed sadness
Why can’t you just be alive?
Cease this madness!
5 Stairs Remain
As you breathe your very last breath
The devilish fiends laugh at me
They are blaming me for your death
The deaths of the masses are calling me
6 Stairs Remain
The carcasses you feed upon are glaring
Oh! vulturous world so full of greed
When everyone is staring
God, redeem me!
I just can’t succeed
7 Stairs Remain
Of other fiendish sins
And I feel the shivers
Drowned by the turbulent wind
My stale breath quivers
8 Stairs Remain
Though we all aren’t free
They laugh below in the hole where I fell
The demons are haunting, taunting me
Alone I wander blindly out of hell
9 Stairs Remain
And my will is close to gone…
The stairway continues on
Forever hungry, forever stale
I toil through death’s dark vale
10 Stairs Remain
Why can’t we be free?
My resistance is nearly gone
The wretches are watching, stalking me
I’m too exhausted to move on
For Darkness I Now Plea
Harbinger of death,
bring ever sweet solace to me
Stop this pain,
end this bittersweet agony
Stay the hand ,
that breaks this bitter heart
Send this soul,
into everland for a new start
Another life ,
in another spiritual realm
A bright day,
joyful love not to overwhelm
Death bring thy ,
dark and deep eternal sting
Set it well,
hear me as I long to sing
Ye author of ,
life's great need to end
Demand anything ,
I have service to spend
Harbinger of death,
bring ever sweet solace to me
Stop this pain,
end this bittersweet agony
Robert Lindley, 08-21-1977
Darkness Wraps My Pain
I was born to this flesh
A slayer in pain
No regret, no remorse
Gold and pleasure my gain
I never wanted love
Nor did I want joy
I found death a trip
Where I once was open
Now I hide in darkness
A slayer of souls
Seeker of agony on all
Ageless shadows grace
My tomb within hell's
Ripping dungeons that
Eat the screams of
Torn bodies and cut
Out hearts scattered on
The blood soaked floors
I was born a slayer
A slayer that delights
In agony wrapped in anguish
his, hers , yours
give me a choice I
05, 23 1980
note: This is from long ago.
A very dark time in my life.
Must have been wasted because
no ryhme.. lol
Captivated by the rising tide, alone she stood
On a solemn piece of rock. The darkness
Lingered over; correcting her daylight.
Death in its inevitability took the form of ocean.
Amidst the fleeting light, an absence and
Neglect writhed behind her eyes,
Draining her malevolence, turning it to fear.
A tapestry of thought weaved onto her shoulder,
Lethargy strained through her. Never fighting the
Overpowering desire to sleep. One foot first,
Never look back, for the
End, is here.
Many people have no clue
Of the hell I go through
If they only knew
The pain and agony, too
Why do I say depression kills, age 14,
Twenty times I have tried with pills
Wished I was dead at times still
My brother was depressed, too
Going to counseling he needed to do
Guilt I feel because I knew
Should of been the one to help, too
Thirty-two years it tortured my mind
Peace I can never mind
It sometimes puts me in a bind
Can't relax and unwind
Many times the teardrops fall
Get angry and wanna hit the wall
The pain within, no longer can bear
Living with depression isn't fair
At my heart, it really tears
Unless you have depression,
Please don't say you understand, too
Because you really have no clue
Through somber steps each climb is made;
The fruitless efforts fail.
Thus, love unshared and work unpaid
Disturbs the nightingale.
In song it copes
With fears and hopes;
From limbs it hung,
All feelings sung.
Warm waters crawl beneath its wings
On lonely twilight trips.
Yet, cold of nighttime softly stings
The feet with which he grips.
So many are the shamed
Whose sorry sights were aimed
To win the hopeless fight;
The one unanswered plight.
Where care once came
Comes only shame;
Now only rhyme
Recalls the time
When lovers held each other tight
On nights of endless laughter.
The nightingale would take its flight,
Rejoicing ever after.
But friends refuse each others hands,
The sign of cherished life.
On edge of death his heart now stands.
Serrated is the knife.
Now gone away again to mourn
The winged creature flies,
Until the warmth of love reborn
Revives the sunken eyes--
Those bitter sockets filled with tears
Reflect the speckled moon.
Escape from tortured life appears--
He ends the final tune.
I roll along a dark ledge
Teetering between yesterday and oblivion
Contemplating one final sin
My ultimate act of inner hate
Do I have a choice or is it fate?
A half second away from nowhere
Feeling cool air blowing through my hair
Wishing it could blow away my despair
Lungs sucking in blackened air
Wondering if I ever mattered
Imagining blood splattered
on dappled concrete
As bones and surface meet
I flip gleefully
Imagining my relief
Heart pounding in chest
Beneath the letter held close to my breast
Within it all my sins confessed
Carefully laid out goodbyes
Written in rhymes
Thanking loved ones for the good times
Trying to explain
The coagulation in my brain
Thoughts that overrun me like a morbid freight train
Sunshine that never penetrates my rain
One pennied foot in front of the other
I roll out on the air
Wondering if anyone will care
My mind hyper aware
A feeling that someone is there
In that instant I change my mind
Rotate and look behind
There the Devil stands
I see his hateful smile
He's been whispering all the while
In his hand he holds a file
Labeled "Souls I've Taken!"
I'm both stirred and shaken
I feel my mind breaking
as I'm awaken
Mom says "get out of bed"
My eyes wide open
Thankfully not dead
Remembering what the Devil's file said
Sun shining brightly
Through my window and pain
I'm alive and sane
Not a concrete stain
I thank God I'm here
For Shadow's contest
Written March 5th 2015
When I am Colder,Older and then alone...
I will collect the sky on my own...
When the art has faded and the days then fade-
when everyone has gone away...
I may finally see what never was saw
.....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh............... the quiet sky
The unlit room which bares my end...shows the flashes of my pains my joys and sins.
This life has been a strange one since the curtains were drawn
These paper and plastic figures have clouded the dawn
I was once younger,foolish,and obsessed with truth
Now I am bitter,sour,dour faced with my heart under shoe
The children were all searching or lost in a crowd
All weeds in a garden...growing vile and foul
Though beauty was sold it never came true
Obsessions and vanity have traveled safe through
Materials and poison and everything lost
have been burned in the fires or lost in the frost
I stand face to mirror tearing my being apart
Winding thoughts of love,pain,god,and art
As the sun sets and the darkness grows
I too shall follow this pattern in tow
Death has a friendly hand and a pretty face
She has given me comfort as I leave this place
The wars have occurred,humanity's lost
Souls have been burnt in the fire or lost in the frost
Day was Life,Night is Death
And the latter has given counsel on my final steps
Death shadows, furious, frenzied, fought
Waiting for this wretched soul to rot
They redeemed me, tortured me, ceasing not
Crows perch upon my severed breast
Picking at the insipid flesh
Vultures of glee coo and ratify my rest
Love pierces my heart that is dead
Maddening my severed head
Feeding ones engorged instead
Deprived and empty of soul within
My ribcage grows bare and thin
Eaten away by my own cruel kin
Skeleton bare and scorned
Fowl breasts of youth unadorned
Cascaded in grotesque glory, basked and ever-mourned
I fly! Hovering over my body too weak
As tears fall down my hungry beak
Let me fly north toward winter so bleak!
The tears freeze on my cold bones
In the dark snow that blackens, I grow old
As wind, birds and corpses forever moan
Homeward north I fly…I feed
I, the coal-beaked corpse still need
To roam…to rot…to unremittingly greed
I am shadow, vulture, corpse, woman—all in one
Feeding on my own meat, enriching everyone
Absent of my own skin, the pain has just begun
For Justin Bordner's Death Shadow contest
I fork my medium rare steak
And put it into my mouth
Everything is settled and nice
The evening could not be better
My husband insists I say the prayer
After all, he hasn’t the tongue to speak
I whisper, “God was never there”
And I listen for the slightest shriek
But like God, they are all silent
In unison of emptiness
The little ones eat so little these days, dear
With their silly ipods and cellphones
Daddy will agree in drones
They’re useless little pigs…
All of my children are so quiet
So well behaved—SILENT
You are so well behaved tonight…
I eat them all raw and stare
Daddy always wanted me to say the prayer
But without you…without you there
The evening could not be better
You useless Pig…
As night begins to fall, she sits quietly at the gate.
Her ambitions are high, but it is up to fate.
For he's not the only one, that death will endure.
She waits like a stone, she wants to be sure.
She cries out to God, believing not, that He is there.
She debates once again, that this life is, or not fair.
The wind seeps through her, as if she were a window.
The gun at her head, awaiting the hard blow.
Her love went away, without making a sound.
He's buried beyond the gate, six feet underground.
She longs for his arms to wrap around her tight.
It won't be long now, she will be with him tonight.
As she counts to three her hand starts to quiver.
She pulls the trigger slightly, as she feels a slight shiver.
She is now ready, to commit this horrible sin.
Someone will find her in the morning, and open the gate to put her in.
She will be wearing a white dress, like she did on their wedding day.
There will be no more sadness, like when the cancer took him away.
There was a loud explosion, her body, now limp on the ground.
Her spirit rose out of her, escaping to where it was bound.
She opened her eyes, and then began to scream.
There was nothing but darkness, it had to be a dream.
She searched around blindly, then she heard a loud voice.
It asked, "Why did you do this?" She replied, that she had no choice.
She heard her name being called, and went to find the source.
She was startled when she found him, he sat laughing without remorse.
He then welcomed her in, as she entered this empty space.
She heard voices screaming in agony, a puzzled look upon her face.
She knew something was wrong, and began to run away.
But there was nowhere to go, this is where she would stay.
She then prayed to God, with everything that she had.
He replied, "I am sorry,” He sounded disappointed and mad.
He explained to her, His decision, why this was the only choice He had.
He disappeared quietly into the distance, leaving her to remember what she had.
She looked up to find her husband, waiting patiently by an unopened door.
She begins to run in his direction, wanting to be with him so much more.
He blows her a kiss slowly, across the air it fell.
Leaving her feeling shameful, feeling that she deserved this Hell.
Thinking that she should have waited, but knowing now that it was too late.
Oh how she wishes to go back, where she sat waiting patiently by the gate.
She sits alone
She draws her knees up to her shoulders, hugging them tightly
She shivers in the icy wind
Her teeth chatter and the stream of tears from her eyes, sting her cheeks
As she lifts her head towards the heavens,
Her eyes burn with pain and her piercing scream, barely human, expresses her Excruciating
suffering and anguish
She is gripped by immense sorrow, the most powerful and destructive emotion
It roughly envelopes her, throwing her into a pit of darkness, filled with evil shadows
The shadows claw at her, ripping into her flesh like daggers
She shakes violently, tasting blood as she bites down hard on her bottom lip
But she feels no pain, her body is numb, numbed by the demons of sorrow, who,
Are slowly overpowering her, devouring her heart
And locking her in an eternal web of pain
She is engulfed by fear as the intense sorrow surrounding her, compresses her
She gasps for air as the merciless hands of sorrow close around her throat
She fights in her lonely vacuum, with everything she has
She reaches for her only comfort, her fingers coil around the blade
As she stretches her arms out in front of her, her void eyes gaze upon her pale skin
Her skin is etched with scars
Her scars an eternal, entwined, tattoo of her excruciating suffering
As she runs the jagged blade over her skin, its cold feel calms her
The compressing sorrow surrenders
This is her saviour, the one who can release her from this life of pure hell
Her skin begins to open, the river of blood flowing strong
Her pain is flung into the open, through her wounds,
Leaving a sense of tranquility in her distraught heart
Her red stained fingertips caress her raw wounds
She is mesmorised by the life force flowing from her, as it paints
Her tragic story on her body
Painful tears bleed from her eyes as regret shudders through her
She rocks backwards and forwards, lulling herself into a sense of peace
Her body is drained
As she lies back she becomes limp
Her eyes close and her whispered prayers fill the open air,
Creating the painful melody her heart sings
As she slips away
Thunder roars and the starry heavens open
As God’s tears rain over His beloved daughter,
Healing her wounds and piecing her broken soul back together
As the sun rises above her,
It illuminates her peaceful expression
Her earthly father collapses besides her
His silent tears wash over her beautiful, pale face
As he lifts his dead child in his arms,
Vicious sorrow rips his heart apart,
Creating wounds which will never heal
Our lives produce such struggles
to which we must rise!
And often we find places
that from which we would run and hide.
But just remember that Your choice
will bring the happiness you seek...
Just Be the Brave one you wish
The one you still want to be.
For I am here to catch you,
to help and see you through,
within your dreams or trials of life;
whether on mountain or cliff
whichever weso choose to climb.
Remember this as you feel you are sinking.
or slipping from the walls you've been clinging.
The climb may tire the muscles
as we reach for the top,
and make us weaker in our strength
while we try to here hang on.
But if we just let go,
and trust the our heart to know what's right
we will never be led to far away;
Though even trodding in the night.
And do not fear the way back down!
For how many birds fly,
when still nested on the Ground.
And if, by chance,
your wings you fail to find...
From your fall I'll catch you,
and lead you on through time.
For how many learn to open there wings
whilst the mud stayed fixated about their feet.
The Winds of the sky need your wings to catch,
to fly you to the heavens
where the angels await you to meet,
and lead you to that better place.
A place we can not even dream.
So with the lightest breeze
they will teach us how to soar...
and lift us from our agony and woe.
Thus ending the anguish
as your wings fill there up.
to fly with them forever more.
The Ground is not safe nor is the air,
but what life would we live
if we never did dare.
Where angels fear
and devils are faint...
If Love durst not
then forever must then wait.
I remember the story
of two who fell in love...
His name became his enemy,
and He o'er her family
She did make that choice.
I would be that Romeo,
say you my Juliet...
And with you in my arms
I would die once more again.
With you I would cast off the sins,
an choose to hold you in the end.
When together,two become one,
Star crossed lovers
can find the peace of each others arms.
when as one we will fly,
Into that bitterless sky.
I'm overcome with grief
as I slowly die inside.
They tell me this is normal,
and everything will be alright.
I can't seem to eat a meal,
or close my eyes to dream.
All I visualize is your face,
then accidentally scream.
I can't seem to leave my home,
whats the point anyways?
Without you standing by my side
life is nothing but a waste.
Maybe soon enough I'll join you,
as I slowly die inside.
When I finally enter the gates of pearl
everything will be alright.
Skeletal treetops rake a Wagnerian sky.
like fingertips, chasing Valkyrie’s,
through cirrus clouds;
conducting the winter wind,
across the cerulean blue tarp
of early evening.
Bare beds, a mass of fallen leafs, shiver;
above bulbs of tulips and daffodils
which rest like skulls in a grave.
The sullen light of late December dusk,
pierces the scene with shadows,
sharpening the edges of brick walks
to bloody wayward knees
frost crusts, scabbing over the vacant
graves of long lost pets as
the day ends.