HORSE FROM MARS
It came from the sky, a gray silver stallion.
I looked up high, and I have also seen a dragon.
With so many things in this universe.
I'm on stand-by with a camera in my purse.
Who would have known I'd be the first to spot a PEGASUS.
The town folks wave hi every time I walk my hippopotamus.
I enjoy showing everyone, my pictures of a flying horse.
I don't see why they call a DOCTOR every time I call the TASK FORCE
I think they are jealous over all the things I've seen.
They act all crazy since I sighted a LEPRECHAUN when I was fourteen.
No one ever believed me when I saw an army of dragonflies.
They have a name for me "the boy who See's too much in the skies!"
I don't know why they can't see what I see.
For all I know they are all experiments under Alien Technology.
They don't believe me how I got this magic MEDALLION.
It was a friendly gift from the silver stallion.
I also have many pictures of a UNICORN.
We became best-friends when he gave me a piece of its magic horn.
We sat together while he drank from the lake.
We enjoyed talking, --talking about how U.F.O.'s are fake.
Why can't they see? The day I fell off a boat, I got rescued by a MERMAID!
Who would have known a mermaid swim around with first-aid.
I also remember the day I followed a LEPRECHAUNS.
We were playing under the rainbow having so much fun.
When I told my doctor about all the things I've seen.
He locked me in a DUNGEON, thinking I was the ALIEN QUEEN.
I begged and I told him I don't believe in any type of alien.
Too bad the master of this dungeon came from another region.
In a way he looks like that one SILVER STALLION from Mars.
The first creature I'd seen the day I fell off the monkey bars.
I have this picture of this horse of course.
JUST help me out of this white-jacket!!! ;-)
If you want to see the coolest picture of a flying horse.
(A small collaboration with: B-Boy)
re-post for ~FUNNY CONTEST
Will poems to my dull senses rise,
In plainer garb, or apt disguise?
Can turn of phrase else serve an end,
To vanquish foes or win a friend?
What ardor gains a rhyme’s release,
To grant me treasured moment’s peace?
So is it merely hubris’ child,
That lets me dream I’m Oscar Wilde!
2nd Place, Best Poetic Form, Poet Destroyer A
Man in Kitchen
So this is it, this place I’ve never been
I wander in and find it’s kept pristine
So this is where she disappears
And later on the food appears
Ah well! I’ll have to do my best
I think I’ll try that chicken breast
All I have to do right now
Is figure out the where and how
Unsuccessful, heaven knows
Why these things come all froze
But of one thing now I’m sure
There’s nothing for me in that drawer
Boiled potatoes, that sounds nice
Maybe with a pan of rice
Doors are banging, pans are flying
She can’t say that I’m not trying, hah
How much rice should I whack in
Sod it, shove the whole pack in
In the pan the waters pouring
This cookery I’m am so exploring
Pans are bubbling, all seems well
I’m creating such sweet smell
Now I see the rice exploding
And potatoes are imploding
This is harder than I thought
An easy meal I tried to sort
All my efforts are now gloop
So think I’ll fill on poetrysoup
Later on that night she says
Lets move the earth in many ways
Sorry dear, tonight no quakes
I have one of your headaches
Richard D Seal
11 March 2013
Now usually when a spider finds its way into my home
I squash it right away saying, hey my space alone
But one day I came upon a fuzzy little spider there upon my dryer
Frantically running up and down the chrome strip which looked like a mirror
He bravely reared up and fought this villain in his way
Up and down this battle raged a good part of the day
I laughed so hard my stomach hurt, but he didn't care
He boldly continued his plight, the enemy was near
The battle over and he's laying still, I wonder to myself
Was it victory? Or was he awaiting his pending death?
I gently took him outside and placed him on a tree
And told him, you're the mightiest little spider I ever did see
'Twas our Christmas Eve dinner; we all had sat down
at the table to eat. Grandma couldn’t be found!
We children were fussing; Dad rose to his feet.
shouting, “Where are you, Ma? We’re ready to eat!”
When from the next room we heard such a noise
Jenny squealed, “Santa Claus must have brought toys!”
We then heard a sound like a whimpering pup
saying, “Help. I’ve fallen and cannot get up.”
Grandpa jumped up and then rushed to the door
that led to the bathroom. There on the floor
lay our poor grandma, eyes widened in fear,
looking like she’d got run over by reindeer!
The dresser had fallen. It had her pinned down.
Grandma was wildly flailing around.
More swiftly than Rudolph, we did all we were able.
We unpinned her. Then Mom yelled, “Back to the table!”
Back to the dining room all we kids came
As our mom started to call us by name.
“Davy, Mel, Jenny, Angie, Marie. . .
Get back here now. I’m counting to three!”
Like animals not having eaten all day,
stuck in a cage without getting their way,
we sat at that table our bellies all growling,
and Davy, the baby, by now was howling.
And then finally what did appear?
Dad with our grandpa and grandma so dear!
Supported by both our grandpa and dad,
Grandma was flushed and looking quite bad.
She was dressed in a housecoat trimmed in white lace
and a big purple bruise had now formed on her face.
Mom pulled out a chair helping Grandma to sit,
and then our dad bellowed, “OK, have at it!”
Our mouths how they watered to see the large ham.
“And that isn’t all,” said Mom, “I made lamb!”
Her small pretty mouth was turned up in a grin,
“The food’s getting cold now. Children, dig in.”
Our dad how he laughed as he poured lots of gravy
onto his potatoes and kidded with Davy.
And Grandma sat smiling despite her great fall
while Grandpa gulped spiked nog, not talking at all.
With eyes that seemed bigger than my own belly,
I dished out big spoonfuls of cranberry jelly.
Mom winked and I knew I had nothing to dread.
Her pleasure was in us all being well fed.
I went straight to work at stuffing my face
when suddenly Mom said, “We didn’t say grace!”
We closed our eyes listening to our dad’s prayer.
I peeked but was met by my mom’s warning stare!
Dad finished the prayer with a hearty Amen.
Then we were all grabbing Mom’s fixings again.
When the food had all vanished and our stomachs hurt,
we heard Dad exclaim, “So what’s for dessert?”
For Francine Roberts' "Christmas Dinner With Humor" Poetry contest
The lover, bold beyond his years,
loved when she held him by his ears,
as in their bless'ed mingling place,
he kissed her as he washed his face.
For ever he'd have stayed down there,
but for his need to rise for air.
And at the end when they both rose,
up from their lust to put on clothes,
he saw within her looking glass,
his naked image, sagging arse,
and knew his past did best his future.
Or they don't make mirrors like they useter.
Strange how it goes, they're waiting their turn
To flood my thoughts, these ideas to burn
Other times nothing, just rack my old brain
Get all pooped out, my attempts are in vain
Is there no place smack dab in the middle
Where rhymes reside and efforts are little
Why do we suffer a blankness at times
There must be a pill for starting these rhymes
Oh well, I'm really having the time of my life
Annoying struggles just add to the spice
We'd ALL be poets if these rhymes came easy
Wouldn't stand out with our words so breezy
Do you catch my drift, am I making any sense
Keep plugging away, don't be so damn tense
Rhymes will soon come, have ye no doubt
Flooding your brain, you'll stand up and shout
Lordy, I'm a poet just knew it all along
My heart doth sing a happiness thong!
© Jack Ellison 2013
A feller went to the doctor's office 'cause he wasn't feelin' well.
The doctor said, "You ain't lookin' all that swell, this I can tell!"
He had a banana stuck in his right ear and a celery stalk in his left!
From his nose dangled a pair of carrots thus leavin' him quite bereft!
The doc without further examination relieved him from his plight,
Sayin', "You gotta change yer eatin' habits! You're not eatin' right!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Here kitty, kitty. Come out and play
I have a new bow for you today
You tore the blue one out so quick
With angry paw…you seemed quite ticked!
I want to dress you and show you off
So all the other bows I now have tossed
No purple or green to match your eyes
Or orange, nor pink that you despise
Polk-a-dots were just not right for you
You tore them to shreds a time or two
No stripes or plaids are in my hand
For these I know you could not stand
The white one was lost in your white fur
When it came out you purred and purred
Here kitty, kitty, now don’t you tease
I’ve a red one here that’s sure to please
Written for “Hello Kitty (World)” members contest.
Seren Roberts and Mandy Tams:
The Wet Patch
Why sit with a frown is there a need?
Yes she whispered in my ear, I think I peed.
My knickers are wet, I dare not move at all
If I stand up, down they will surely fall
Your knickers are wet, ha I did scoff
But I made sure I did, no laugh or a cough
For under my seat I would then have to peer
As there may be a puddle just under here
Went shopping before we met for lunch
Hoped lollies would stay frozen, so I could crunch
Put it in my handbag, sat upon my lap
Decided to eat quickly, so no mishap.
But lunch took quite a while
We had a laugh and a smile.
The lollies got hot, and then they did melt
I felt a cold patch sneak under my belt.
I swept off the table cloth wrapped it round like a toga
To everyone watching I said ‘it’s a new move in yoga'
To the bathroom I ran and locked the door
I dropped my wet undergarments, onto the floor
Knickers now down, I could see the stain
Was orange not pee and that I still maintain
I sniffed at my undies and then I did think
They smell of oranges, as I rinsed in the sink
I hadn’t peed at all, twas not a mishap
My ice lollies had melted, wetting my lap
Next time you see an old dear with a wet patch on her frock
Remember it might be a lolly, so you better not mock
One day you know that old dear will be you
So to yourself and to others you must always be true
A wet patch you may see, but no lollies are there
So offer her some wipes, but don’t sit on her chair