That disturbed child
The teen girl with no friends,
and is rejected by her loved ones
She feels broken inside,
like theres no other choice
She takes the iron razor,
she puts it to her arm and hopes the pain will fade,
but in the end it only makes her feel worse
She does this to herself not because she is sad,
but because she doesn't think any one cares
What if I put this razor to my throat,
and ended my life
Would they care then?
She feels like no one cares
What she doesn't realize is,
if she died a river of tears would come,
even faster then the blood would run from her
If she only knew life can be brighter
If she would only see,
that she is loved
That disturbed child,
We miss her
and theres no getting her back
What could we have done
Was there any changing her mind
Only God knows
I have a pocket Full of dreams
that, I carry wherever I go
I wonder what dreams I'll dream tonight
for I never seem to know
I closed my eyes to drift asleep
as I reached in for a dream
I grabbed one tight within my hand
then, flying became the theme
Now, I'm in a dream and flying
and, this feeling of flight is grand
I have no wings to fly at all
Yet, my feet lift off the land
I used my mind to fly around
such freedom I can feel
For, deep down in my heart I know
that flying can't be real
I woke with the dream of flying
And yet, it's never as it seems
But, I know I'll dream this dream again
from my pocketful of dreams
He crushed his heart. On hopes flutteringly light as butterfly wings. On dreams foolishly bright as silver bells. On dreams seemingly fine and looking good. He broke his heart. On tales of lust hewn from his faint heart. He banked his faith on the words of a woman. He lost his sight searching into darkness. He thought it wise to love once and never again. He thought he had found his only love. His only hope. He was only 17
She slips away silently, to escape mothers screams
And crawls so softly, into bed, into dreams
His dreams became so dark
Left them to his escape into the dark
To dream open eyes outside window
Across his vision he saw as light lost its flicker
Loss for air she lay, sobbing away sorrow
But she felt invaded, grasping in surprise's horror
So close these shattered mirrors lay
A soft curious cry,a leaf blow away
Together now their halos became so clear
The coping of bewildered souls to share
He slips away silently, to escape his skeleton's haunts
And crawls softly, into new arms, to cure a world of wants
A sister strides amongst the clouds
with teardrops in her eyes.
wisps of hair fly in the wind as
thunder claps her cries.
I call to her, as up I rise
with sunbeams on my lips
I grasp her cheeks with my two hands
as round her the wind whips
Her tears kissed dry she lightly trips
down to a lower plane
where breezy winds stroke gently by
a storm released refrain.
Arm in arm over jade terrain
the sisters dance so blithe
One dark one pale, both beautiful
each waiting to be wives.
* Dedicated to my muse Dee in Darkness & Light
There's little left now, Lawson, mate, of your home by the hill,
Except, a guarding sentinel, the chimney stands there still;
To some it's just another site, for tourists passing through,
Perhaps they've never read your works - how sad, but maybe true.
Eurunderee and childhood days, please tell me if I'm wrong,
Instilled in you mixed memories and feelings, oh so strong.
Yes, monumental moments mate; the hardship and the joy.
They brought to mind old childhood days when I was just a boy.
Is that your Dad with shouldered axe and wand'ring off somewhere?
His cross-cut saw with him as well. I'm sure it's him, I swear.
The dark haired lady on the log and scribbling on a pad;
Your Mum I guess at work on verse; she taught you well my lad.
Old grandpa Albury's visiting and dons his greasy hat.
I know it's him, no other soul could ever shout like that.
The muck on brother Charlie's face. It's not Jim Nowlett's brew?
He surely can't believe that tale, 'cause none of it is true.
I see young brother Peter mate is tending cows again.
You mentioned how they liked to stray. You're right, they are a pain.
Is that a horseman riding up and pack horse by his side?
It can't be old Dave Regan. No! They told me he had died.
If Billy Grimshaw's teams passed now, his bales of wool so high,
He couldn't swear from being bogged; the bitumen runs by.
The gold has long but disappeared, though grape vines grow here still;
Red wine is known around the world; I know, I've had my fill.
I can't stay any longer mate I've got a way to go;
To join up with my poet friends, up Queensland way you know.
I'm glad though that I stopped a while to reminisce with you,
Like Banjo mate, deep down within, I saw you as true blue.
He was my best friend
His name was Snoopy
He was a beagle
My favorite pet.
I got him on Christmas day
He was just a little pup
I loved him so much
Then God took him away.
He was out hunting
He never came back
He was gone
Just like that.
I wonder every day
Where is he
I still miss him so
I cry at night
Little stuffed bear
lying on a bed
Made of odd pieces of cloth
Not as handsome
as store-bought bears
Of this he was ashamed
But he captured the heart
of a little girl
And of this he was rightfully proud
Nestled in her arms
So loving each night
He led a charmed life
He brought sweet dreams
or so it seems
and had no wants at all
Years passed, and
the little girl
grew to think he was
of no more use to her
He found himself in
a trash can
His heart so hurt
the angels cried
And this is what they swore
To teddy bear heaven
they carried him
to rest in well earned peace
But from heaven he
could not bear to be
He wanted to be with her
That you surely see
One night the girl
had a frightful nightmare
and cried out for her bear
And in a flash our Teddy came
To keep away the scare
Now Teddy again lies on her bed
On his face a mighty grin
Cause Teddy found out
his one great love
Indeed still needed him.
As the sunsets at the end of the day,
And the night begins to fall,
So, does all the dreams of all the little children,
In their own wonderlands of their own,
Wishing and thinking of great things to come,
Hoping their parents will make these dreams come alive,
Cause dreams to children should become bright and gleam,
And all to them more than just alive,
All children want is hopes and dreams to become true,
But if you can teach them how to work hard at them,
They too can make their dreams become their own reality,
For any one person works hard enough,
At what they want in life,
They can have any one thing they want,
All they have to do is work really hard to make it real,
For believers can believe in themselves,
And strive to work toward making their own goals,
Their very own come true,
Which gives more satisfaction in life,
Than things being handed to you,
So always strive for the best,
And all your wishes and dreams can come true,
In your life if you want them too.
im sorry ive caused you pain.
i thank you for sticking by me through everything.
and not giving up on me. i dnt no what
i would do if you had given up on me.
Im sorry ive lied to your face and you knew it,
but you still loved me the same as before.
so i thank you.
i dont know if i would be here with you if you had given up on me.
im sorry ive broken your trust over and over,
and you still wanna trust me.
i thank you again.
i dont know wat i would have done if you didnt trust me.
im sorry ive done things behind your back,
even though i promised you i would never do them.
im sure you knw but you never said anything.
i wish you would have. it would have saved us all alot of pain
i thank you for never giving up on me.
i dont no how to tell you how much i love you.
mom i love you sooooooo much you wont ever no how much i love u and thank you for everything
They come in all shapes
These folks we call friends
Opinions they share
And souls each one bares.
But no friend comes close
To that of a brother
Great strength from within
Tender hearts that don’t smother.
It’s often been said
To have many friends
One first is a friend
With whom one breaks bread.
When one needs to glean
The support of another
Seek out far and wide
The comfort of a brother!
"Here's the village Idiot
Here comes the loony fool"
So many taunts did follow him
Oh kids can be so cruel!
The Alien, his face all cowed
With caution treads his way
As the gossip done, invades him every day.
He's a shade too short on mighty brawn
He's a pilgrim of the soul
He's a Sailor floating through his dreams
And he has no worldly goals
And when those kids kicked footy balls
And swore and carried on
The alien got lost within his own song.
He's been told that he be nothing
By so many through the years
And now his body broken
Still wading in his fears
The wings have made to open up
So the butterfly may rise
And so the mighty Phoenix
must head he for the skies.
Dec 22 2003.
There once was a tiny little ant
that was so, so very small
To him, every other single ant
was great big, huge and tall
He tried to help the best he could
as they all lived in their nest
The other ants would push him aside
and say, " Why don't you take a rest "
There's nothing here that you can do
said, the ants that were passing by
He knew that he was way too small
yet, he knew that he should try
To help his family do their chores
after all he is an ant
But, no matter how hard he tried each day
they all told him, he can't
They told him he was way too small
'cause he could fit on the head of a pin
They said to him, " Just go away "
" You never did fit in "
That sad and heartbroken little ant
decided to leave that day
He would rather live all by himself
Than to be treated in that way
He traveled across the countryside
and, for days he never stopped
Then, a great big wind came and lifted him high
to a tree limb he was dropped
A storm was brewing, the wind was blowing
and he knew that he must hide
He saw a tiny little hole
so he ran, then crawled inside
He found a little tunnel
that led him deep within the tree
It came to a great big opening
to his amazement he did see
Another colony of little ants
that seem to be like him
But, it was hard to see within that tree
'cause the light was very dim
He had to get much closer
He had to really see
Are they really little ants?
Are they just like me?
He saw, they were just like him
as his face began to grin
He asked if he could live with them
so they happily took him in
There's a moral to this story
about this tiny little ant
You can always do what you put your mind to
'Cause there's no such thing as, can't
He wakes up in the morning
when the clock shows five
And he looks in his mirror
and sees he's still alive
He stumbles in his room
and falls down in his chair
And he listens to voices
BUT THERE'S NOBODY THERE
He was born in the summer of 94
And was found on the steps
Outside the church door
And from that day on
He would live the life of the poor
He never knew his momma
And he never knew his pa
To find them now he would need radar
At the age of sixteen he left his life in care
He had so many parents some were good
And some were poor
And others just showed him the door
Now he is back to his usual tricks
And he is looking for more kicks
So he decides to have one more score
And he slips down from his chair
And now he is lying on the floor
Poor John Henry
The boy who lived next door
Up on the hill I found my joy
on grass of green and gold
I would roll down when a young boy
for I was fast and bold.
Oh how we'd play from dawn to dusk
in torn pants and bare feet
The day a thrill when winds were brusque
yes we were colts so fleet.
We ate the small fruits in the grass
sweet ones red and blue
Oh yes the joys found as time passed
were there for most of you.
Up on those hills who was to know
that time would fly so fast.
That life would bind our bare foot soul
and days so swift would pass.
I woke watching television news
The jet plane is soaring high note
Operation Sulu is launched forth
Until the intruders to get out
Malaysia always chose to peace
Come and let us all save peace
Philippines is wanting peace
For Sulu Archipelago is its part to ease
Sulu Royal Army chose to enter because of peace
They call homeland in the book pages
They decide to stay and die never ended
Many see this is not a good choice
But for them this is a pride to hold and take
Come and let us all save peace
For Malaysia also has to protect its state
Its sovereignty whether lives at stake
It has chosen the space to negotiate
And has given the time to withdraw in peace
But the “intruders” is hard to take the leave
Come and let us all save peace
Many children cried
Much wives shed tears
Every Mothers weep
Their love ones died but with pride
Our prayers to put ahead their faith
Come and let us all save peace
The eyes of the world where are you?
The humanitarian aid you have to do
Don’t you see the lives are here waiting?
The civilians need your helping
Do not wait until the time lapse to nothing
Come and let us all save peace and do something.
Come and let us all save peace
Take part and let us all save peace
Pray and let us all save peace
Where are you peace activists?
Come and let us all save peace
Let us all save peace!
This is the day that Malaysian Forces conducted “Ops Sulu” to drive the group from Sulu that recently entered Tandu’, Lahad Datu, Sabah. 12:41PM, 5th March 2013, Bandar Sandakan, Sabah, Malaysia.
Please Print and Distribute to Save Peace. Thank you
Get the copy here: http://www.academia.edu/2904281/LET_US_ALL_SAVE_PEACE
I have a mother like no other...
Never really understood her when i was younger...
To others she was always kind and giving...
Yet to her children she was mostly harsh and controlling...
I have always wanted to know why but never did...
And as i age i often felt like a lost kid...
Constantly searching for love and care...
Something i felt my own mother would not even bare...
Now that she has aged too...
It breaks my heart and makes me shed a tear or two...
To see her old and weary...
Crossed my mind to ask her finally...why mommy?
Then it suddenly dawned on me...i do not need an answer...
For all i have to do is look at her...
Hard and long enough, without any anger...
Think of all the people she kept under her wings...
And be thankful of how they took off and soared...
Because of all the love my mother could afford...
I figured if she has saved a life at our expense...
Then....everything makes sense...
Amidst of all the sorrow,
stood still a boy who wasnt ready to be the man he supposed to grow,
In the decaying dime for bitter crumbs,
Only the slickest minds could climb,
The rising wall of the Notre Damme.
He wasnt ready,no.not yet.
The timekeeper keep blowing the whistle,he said the time is up,
young stud would u please keep up!
And so he ran like a scared prey on the hunt,
Out where no one could find,
in the Disneyland of the Outcast, away from the past,
Tranquilized under the moonlight glow.
He’s just the boy who wasn’t ready to grow.
In the morning at 4am
Ma took me in her arms
She said "Let's go out little Ben"
As she walked through the barn
The day before, Ma was crying
Searching for air as she gasped
Strangers asked her to stop trying
They said it's for the best
Food was so scarce in our village
Poverty in display
The robbers and thieves they pillaged
To everyone's dismay
Mama tried hard to keep me well
Since Daddy was long gone
But she's a victim in this hell
In hell, hope never dawns
The day before, they came to us
They said one word "Adopt"
Mama cried when they called me "Love"
When she smiled, my heart stopped
In the morning at 4am
Ma woke me up from sleep
She said "Let's go out little Ben"
Crossing the forest deep
I asked Mama where we're going
She clasped my hand so tight
I saw my fate not a knowing
Everything was a blight
We came a halt at a doorstep
Handsome house with grandeur
Ma ran the bell; I held my breath
The door opened; I shuddered
Ma pulled me close, and held me tight
Rocking me as she swayed
She said "Darling, hold your head high"
Mama don't go away
I sometimes sit and wonder, dad are you with me? and are you sad?
I think of the time I had with him here on earth
He was a this frail, little man who loved the Lord
He certainly did all he could, he loved yellow for he stood out in a crowd
My dad was a wonderful person and friend
You just had to do for him, he was always so happy and never sad
To have some help from time to time, he loved you to come see him
He was a true man of God
He went to church and gave all he had
He never had extravagant things
He loved the basics of having furniture and clothes
When I gave him the rocking chair for Fathers Day in 2008,
Little did I know he was getting ready to leave this earth
I remember being so very happy to see, the smile on his face
When I would come near
The thing I am trying to express for all of us is to love your fathers and
Give them your trust
For you never know that this little man from God in yellow
He may still be sitting in the church he loved.
I remember always my father he was, the light of my life and now he is with the
Love your fathers and let them know that you truly love them so.....
Before you speak
To show me all this hatred that you feel
Let me breath into your eyes
The innocence can heel
Choking, spitting, choking
I’m choking in your heart
This black blood dripping endlessly
Tares our love apart
Strangle in my lines~ first time
Like a snake spies, a cat, fur, skin, crawl
Sometimes I’d dream for a web made of silk~
Stretching across, inside my mind
Reaching too far, but never to find
A search that’s gone, but still going on
That’s why- That’s why
That’s why- I’m you
Fuqq me. I’m you
Strangle in my lines~ again
Like a bird sings “Give Love”
Counting fortune one-by-one
Sometimes I’d dream for
Your spell to cast into my sea
Sinking down, grasping what’s gone
I see not what I see I am
Down so high!!
Down so high!!
Strangle in my lines~ once more
Like a “Head Done In”
Imagine the sound
Sometimes I’d Pray
Angels fuqqing on the wall
Angels fuqqing in the rain
Angels fuqqing in time
I'm still here,
Though I think that I,
May be fading fast,
You know you've never known me,
And I cry,
When I see that I've a past.
Somehow I know,
That if I could go,
And redeem myself,
I'd sleep in my own head at last.
When did this girl appear?
In the mirror,
wracked with fear,
When will this reflection be
Someone who looks like me?
It's cold outside,
But I love the ice,
Because it warms my soul
And takes me to my childhood.
And watching as they roll.
Inside my head,
I still feel the dread,
But I let it go
Burying this wretched hole,
When did this girl appear,
In the mirror,
Scratched but clear:
Tears in eyes and scars, she says
that, "I don't Know."
Sometime I hope she'll be,
Back in me,
One day this mirror will show,
Someone that I know.
PARODY OF REFLECTION; MULAN @Dec2012
The noose is a nightmare for any seafaring man
Especially those who thrive the best they can
Danger lurks on the waves like a mugger in the shadows
The only concern is the prize and the gallows
For the young pressed into service have two labors
Cabin boy or powder monkey are their favors
A fair share for those who survived
Though not to many lived to enjoy the ride
Mostly master gunners would employ the young ones
For the task of loader and powder runs
A grizzly sight to any mother of today
Blood spattered, powder covered, limbs severed portray
I dare say I met one intact and conscious
He was rude and quite audacious
No name had he just an X above the knee
His mark given by Captain of the Breeze
A sloop of war in Caribbean was this
Massacred whole crews drunk as piss
The boys attitude so moved my heart
That I had to set him free from his part
Before I saw him he was the only one left to be hanged
Port Royals mob clawed and fanged
I set to watch when I saw how young he was
I had to do something for his cause
I bid the court give me custody immediately
They awaited the response from the Admiralty
The response was yes almost to late
For the executioner just removed the safety plank
He kicked and cried for a moment then released
With the knife of the kings lease
A bruise found its way around his neck as a reminder
For a life against the grinder
I sailed him back to London to learn a trade
And go to school for a decade
I later named him after my name kidd
Later to be known as William Kidd
He ventured from out of the west
In a small cabin amidships:
Stole away in an unknown quest,
Salty ocean brine wet on his lips
In the concealment of dim twilight
Neptune braced his trident,
And offered safe passage in the night
When stormy seas grew more violent
Into locks and narrow canal tide
Ocean to ocean Panama led:
Two continents yonder either side,
"No turning back now" a voice said
Starboard to port - stern to bow -
The turbines below decks on:
He'd be back someday, somehow,
But alas, not for a long time gone
Blinding rain cracked the dark sky,
And heat of hurricane wind:
Out from beyond shadows slip by
In the playground of the dolphin
Sped over vast nautical canyons
Deep into southern latitudes:
Lifeboat drills required all hands
Lest we sail a sea of vicissitudes
As a cool morning breeze rolled in
He'd hear that droning hull:
Feel the shift of the sea in motion
And watch the Albatross and gull
On his maiden voyage went he far
Into the Tasman a sea rover:
No longer shone the Northern Star
But soon the journey would be over
Natives in canoes off Tahiti - sellin'
Beads and cloths finely sewn:
Like Columbus, Cortez, and Magellan
In foreign lands not unlike his own
"Last port of call" they shouted loud
Down gangway's shiny gloss:
Ahoy! Land of the Long White Cloud -
Farewell good ship SS Southern Cross
From Port of Spain, Trinidad
To Auckland, New Zealand: Dec 1968
Way up high
In the sky
That’s where we will be-will be
In the air
Up above the clouds
You and I
Way up high
Where the birds fly
You are safe- safe with me
Through the air
Sleep little one
Sweet dreams to thee
Princess Tinsels baby daughter
Has grown up quite a bit
And my, oh, my, she’s beautiful
Oh, she has all of it
A heart of gold, a lovely form
And she’s so full of bliss
Her name is Angelina
So very sweet she is.
She has a way with animals
That seems at times like magic
She loves all people, all of them
And when their days are tragic
She’ll give them the milk of kindness
She has the healing touch
And even gnomes and bitter demons
They all love her so much.
Angelina, she is loved
By all who hear her name
Folk they come from miles around
To see this girl of fame
One day she will be their queen
And it is plain to see
That when she takes that station on
A wondrous Queen she’ll be.
6 September 2013 @ 0535hrs.
It hurts very much,
When the one's you love,
Are ripped from your very life,
It makes you feel as if,
You are not up to being,
The person you should be,
In this dreary everyday world,
That can be so cruel.
So, think about how your life,
Is running it's very course,
And what changes you need to make'
To better your life,
In order to see the happiness,
Of keeping the beautiful thing,
You have created,
And brought into this very world,
So, you can keep this child,
Close to you in your life,
And watch it grow,
To bond with them each and everyday,
So, the child will never grow up,
knowing someone else,
As Mom and Dad,
Pushing you away from their life,
Till the day,
You will be totally gone,
From their hearts and minds,
Which is the sign of disaster all the way,
For it will be the hurt of a lifetime.
What I am doing is not idealism.
It’s a cause for our homeland.
It is also for the benefits of oppressed people.
And oppression should not reign
in the peaceful land of good people.
I may not live longer in this world
and I knew I will die as others will be.
It would be better to help fight for peace in peace
than fighting for peace by war.
There is nothing good to achieve by raging war
and countering war by war.
Peace had become a common piece like candies.
Any person has the right to embrace peace
even only a piece of peace like sweets,
but not a piece in a war for peace!
Let us taste this piece of peace.
I love you peace.
He holds the bear gently in his old wrinkled hands as he gazes into its kind beaded eyes. The toy collector sees love lined in its double stitches and his childhood in the busted toys smile.
There stitched in black thread he can hear the sound of a child laughter, happiness, and growth reviving his memory of youth, like a jolt of life to an empty vein.
The years have passed freely, almost fleeting by. He had no more time to play in grassy school yards or hide from girls wearing satin dress, he had to grow up. The boy eventually turned into a man and was forced to pack away his toys regrettably into a wooden box.
There they sat in the attic awaiting the return of their beloved friend while he aged slowly into an adult.
High school came and went, college, even marriage but unfortunately he was never blessed with his own child. No one to share in the lined pleats of his own childhood. All of this he now recognizes in the bears sandy eyes.
The toy collector hands his most prized procession to his wife, a dazed look covering his forlorn face.
She takes his withered hand and speaks gently in his ear.
“All the memories in the world could never replace the love between a man and his bear.”
“Yes, but even the toy collector eventually grows to old and must let go.”
He replies in woe.
His thin lips force a smile as he repacks the boxes that escaped him long ago and in the early morn of the next day he patently sits alone outside for a bus to come.
The driver honks her horn and greats him with a warming smile.
“Are all of these toys for our orphanage?”
The toy collector regrettably nods.
“Things have been pretty rough but this will surly lift there sprits up.”
She confesses as she gently grabs a random box.
As she stacks them one by on into the now cluttered van his bear falls onto the pavement below.
Unable to pick it up he wrinkles his brow with great sadness.
Suddenly the passenger door opens revealing the face of a young girl and as she draws near she extends her hand and clutches the bear.
“Did you find a friend little Lou?”
His heart melts as she kisses the teddy gently then smiles.
The child coos softly.
The toy collector lives in the toys he collects, but the man lives forever in the bear the child now possesses.
(1 January 2013 – 12:01AM)
By this first day of the year 2013
I am asking anyone to forgive me if I have things done that hurt you.
I was sudden with the firecrackers
Sounds of bullets flying in the air
This is becoming a culture
That by the end and start of the year there shall be having a gun fire
Is this so not to put a gun as inutile?
I have no new year’s resolution at hand
But I wanted to do my best to change whatever things needed to be changed.
Oh God please witness my changes to manifest in my entire being
from good to very good, from ordinary to extra ordinary and from evil to no evil.
Let me love memories of 2012 that I have
Please forgive me God through everyone’s forgiveness.
I love everyone and someone.
Thank you God!