These Funny Acrostic poems are examples of Acrostic poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Funny Acrostic poems written by international PoetrySoup poets
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.
Every woman knows, an ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.
When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.
Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another, in case it doesn't rain.
Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired.
When they say boldly go where no man's gone before, they don't mean the kitchen.
Honey when I said I wanted something to hang my hat on I didn't mean THAT!
Any port in a storm is a good way to divorce court dearie!
Titillating is not an excuse for going to girlie bars.
Anyone got a buck I could sure use one?
Grab a piece of arse will you, it may be the last thing you ever grab.
Anal retentive? You don't say!
Lip service now there's a concept.....
*Listen for the drum roll!
C hocolate Candy Emmmm what a treat.
H as sweet ingrediants that can't be beat.
O h what delight to put in our mouth and eat.
C hocolate a passionate lovers sweet. (
O nly the lonely will not eat this meat. (
L overs who Love chocolate will find this neat. ^
A ll chocolate will cause lovers to stay in heat. & &
T ake your time and savor this candy. % %
E ach one of you knows it makes you randy. @@@@@
K issing with chocolate covered lips is bliss.
I n your mouth each tongue will entwine with a kiss.
S o get yourself some chocolate today.
S weet chocolate candy will help you to play!
D oes your mother have to telephone every time we plan for sex?
E ach story about dream vacations, does it have to include your ex?
A re the Star Wars posters in the bedroom going to proudly hang there forever?
L istening to political candidates on talk radio. Do you think that’s really clever?
K indly tell the preacher at your church to please leave us alone
I f we miss one day of fellowship we won’t turn into stone
L eftovers will be served on Tuesdays, I have girls" night once a week
L eaving dishes piled high in the kitchen will make our love nest stink
E ver wonder why each time you look into my eyes and ask to take my hand
R eminds me of the ONE WAY TICKET IN MY BAG and an EXCITING GET-A-WAY PLAN!
Written by Gwendolen Rix
December 12, 2011
In Honor of Nancy Jones' Contest ~ The Deal Killer
Note bene- purely fiction
A is for apathy, “You all know you are!”
B is for itching, “Why can’t I have a car?”
U is for the umbilical cord. You never cut from Ma.
N is for neutral, “Why should you take a stand?”
D is for dependent, “Hey, one always needs a hand!”
A is for angry, “Well, why the hell shouldn’t I be?”
N is for nostalgia, ‘cause in the past we’re free.
C is for the ocks ;) who run the whole damn show!.
E is for euthanasia, “When your old just GO!”
And all that spells abundance, in case you could not tell?
Or went to school in Texas and never learned to spell.
G ood God! How I’ve tried,
E ven outright denied
M any times the persona you see.
I nside of my skin,
N either conscience nor kin,
I have you and yes, you and that’s me!
Crazy is defined by the crazy things you do
Really crazy things are just too crazy, too
A crazy person laughs when no one is around
Zealous crazy people are too busy to be found
Yes, crazy is as crazy does, who really can define?
Your definition of crazy is well kept in your mind.
Even when you’re normal, crazy still remains
Some keep crazy in their hearts, to look like they’re still sane.
Cookies are addictive!
OoOoH! Here's one to snatch!
Okay...where's the chocolate chips?
Kraving too many of these treats
I want some now! But...I might get beeefy...
Every bite is mouthwatering, soft and crisp
Should I take another cookie?
Peek, if you dare…inside my Palace of CREATIVITY
Observe my drafty walls, and rhyming dungeons ^^
Enter, my friends, with no delusions! ^^
There are marbled halls of mass confusion…
Regarding your ILLUSION, of metaphoric INFUSIONs,…
Your opinions may falter, upon the alter, compared to other verses ^^
Poetic attempts, and past regrets, are ghostly curses
And with INEVITABLE blunders, they rattle off meter, the echos could haunt you!
Lest you dare, just beware, dear readers…. WATCH YOUR STEP! ^^
As your guide, I’ll confide….people have died!
'Cause this Poetry Palace, has bats in the belfry! (As everyone knows)…
EVENTUALLY, this palace place should be foreclosed!
For Linda Marie’s Contest “Poetry Palace”
By Carrie Richards
Its not always easy
Stumble into a party,where the ladies are stiff
Especially if they belong to the higher circles of society
This guy ended up in Acrostic
Tango dancer..and a wild one he is
Revealing his dance infront of the shocked ladies
Unexpected,showing off his virility
The stiff party of madams are furious and upset
He is not welcomed into their world..a wild one he is
Hesitating to give him recognition..they are careful not to applauding his dance
Under the table..he wiggle his toes
Rumours says..he even "toe tickles " some of them between their thighs
Terrifying things start happening
Soaking wet..after drinks and nice coctails being thrown into his face..party is over
My first attempt at writing Acrostic...bit scary,its such a unusual way for me to write:)
Have a nice weekend my friends out there!
APATHETICALLY I APPROACH THIS TASK
ACADEMIC FERVOR RUNNING THIN
“FOR IS IT NOT TIME TO SLEEP?” I ASK-
FAVORING FINALE, I HOLD UP MY CHIN.
HONESTLY, BETTER COULD BE DONE.
HONESTY IT IS NOT THAT I AM LACKING;
COMPOSITION BECOMES LITTLE FUN,
DILIGENCE LOST, I AM SLACKING!