I think of all my smiles that I've worn,
which hide my sorrows underneath.
No one seems to notice that ,
I'm going through so much grief.
I cry and cry inside my pretty little tired eyes,
no one actually seems to realize,
what is presently going inside.
I'm going far away from everyone.
That no one seems to see my real pain.
My heart is totally broken after so much suffering,
unable to face anyone.
It feels like it's the last of my life,
As i have got no support by my side.
I have really started to abhor myself and
have started to find things quite uncertain.
I find people to be quite ignorant towards me,
as it is,i know they are idyllic without me.
I am very puzzled at present,
What to do?Is my situation.
I only meet illusive people in this inconsiderate world.
I am such a numpty person,
that in this world expect people to know my situation.
After knowing as it is they would remain ignoramuses.
Clumsy days and hazy nights
Haunting and bring me tears
I should stop perturbing
Whilst my heart still whipping
Wrath of nature is just reflection
Of my fragments that created imprints
Within my being that stands steadfast
Even in the darkest days of my existence.
Don’t put your view all are blind
They can’t see ten or nine
They have determined they can find
Solution is already all know shrine
Bereave is not necessity it always dawns
Scarce barks all the day as unwelcome guest
Put your disguise on your veil
All viewed your deceitful hay
Shame on you for being that that
Looting always day by day
Poor creatures are suffocating
Swallowing your poisonous play.
this roads i walk are hurting my feet,
i get home. i take my shoes off. i lie down.
i wake every morning wishing and hoping.
But guess what, this roads am walking them again.
It's a tragedy how my suffering is projected.
For the whole world to see. yes, they do feel sorry.
But i was a woken monster cursed to sleep.
Now am an achiever sent to a prison.
this roads i walk, are, hurting. My feet.
take a walk with me, but be scared, i can walk you for 100% your life.
aah, my feet. this roads i walk, are hurting. My feet.
You were asked, then you agreed, to walk with me.
my name is knowledge, for you those who don't understand poetry.
look up, am the beautiful sky that you see at night. now all am asking you,
is to come with me.
this roads, my feet and you.
walk with me. i grow everyday, in you.
one day when am really grown up, you will be among
the stars. like i said; this roads, my feet and you.
am just like purity, am really good to the young,
but taste better for the old.
am not the Nazi, or the Ku klux klan. i take all.
am free. Use me. Take advantage of me for all i care.
am black, am power. am magic.
i move mountains of stupidity, am the king.
Am the word, the power, am knowledge. But.
this roads i walk, are hurting my feet.
nourish me, let me grow in you. so i get stronger.
then i can grow as we walk this roads i walk.
that are hurting my feet. cause i get weak.
get me shoes, yes, this roads, if you walk with me,
you'll be among the stars.
word, know, slow down. take time. this roads.
my feet hurt. word. not animore. know. we'll succeed.
we have roads to walk, bear with me, i get weak. so.
nourish me, let me grow in you.
I've been so frightened since you went away
My heart has been lonely all the way
And when I'm alone I think of you
And all the things we went through
I believe we will find a way out of this
dark and lonely place
and we will meet face to face
Nothing will go wrong because
because we will be bold and strong
and whatever the world my hold in
we will fight for what is right
I feel like I'm living someone elses life, a life in strife. I've been strong, but when will I belong. I feel so alone, but I'm doing ok on my own. I can't describe the pain, but I keep in mind every storm runs outa rain. I use to think our love was unbeatable, but really its unforgettable. Everyday I walk down memory lane, trying to ignore the pain. He crosses my mind everyday, when will all this go away. There's gotta be something more, my heart is becoming sore. My momma doesn't have to worry, because I'm not sorry. I know he made the mistake, and he's the reason I have this heartache. What we had, was bad. I shouldn't have let it go that far, your just another scar.
sitting here thinking about my little that past last year someone shot him in a car with 2 others but one still alive, that one was being on the stand for life dealing with death of his friends or whatever they called my little cousin, my cousin was only going out to get some milk for his son, and now his girlfriend is left to take care two children by herself as a single mother wondering how she is going to do this all by herself not thinking that the worst pain ever going to go through her mind, now I see vision of my cousin every day and making me cry cause I miss him so much and can’t talk to him like I use to as a child all I have is the memories of him sitting in my old house as a child and now he is dead, I don't want to ever celebrate my birthday ever again he die on September 21, 2012 what a painful day all I remember is getting my son off the bus and 10 mins later my mother was screaming like she lost one of my brothers but really he might have not been my brother by blood but he was my cousin and every time I think a tear comes coming down my face then remember my mother telling me, she Sheena lil Greg is gone I screamed and cried for days didn't even answer my phone unless it was important, I stayed away from friends, I just didn't care who knew, I was hurting inside, then one day I heard a voice and it was like lil Greg was speaking to me, but I wouldn't turn my light off for days and would carry a flash just case I needed it in the dark to see where I was walking, I would see his shadows just like I use to see my old teacher shadow in the dark, I would flash the flashlight onto the area where I see him then it’s like he is not there then I hear his voice calling telling me that it’s okay, that I’m fine cause with my mother, your true angel forever, but I couldn't find him, I kept asking myself where is lil Greg I though he was dead, then I remember my family buried him where is mother was at, and now May 21 is lil Greg franklin birthday and I can’t tell him I really feel any more about his girlfriend or the people he hang out with, he wasn't just a cousin to me, I felt like a piece of my heart just melt inside that I couldn't get back and still do, cause now my family want to celebrate his birthday and I weather be home on May21 it’s a painful day for me, just this week alone is painful week, I lost one of my best friends,
Sometimes I like to pretend, things never came to a end. But over time, our love became a crime. I didn't know what we had, would ever end so bad. But then I knew things weren't right, when we started to fight. Now I walk down memory lane all the time, the pain is worst then committing a crime. We only caused eachother pain, but we were eachothers maine. I thought things would be alright, but I cried alot that night. I don't want things to change, without you my life is strange. You said you wanted me so much it started to hurt that you couldn't wait, now im just another person you hate. When you said you didn't care, I knew the person I loved was no longer there. You aren't the same, the new you is lame. We both fell, now it's hell. You use to always be here for me, like family. But now your nowhere in sight, things aren't right. Empty is all that I can feel, I still can't believe this is real. I didn't mean to let you get away, I didn't know what to say. Am i with the right guy, or am i telling myself a lie. I was afraid to loose what we had, but to you that choice was bad.
A gun to my head, isn't that convenient.
pull the trigger and release all my demons.
I'm ready now with no regret,
try to surprise me like Russian roulette.
I'm sick of this life and all the problems that follow,
this is the best way to end, the shame is too hard to swallow.
I'm growing weak its coming to an end,
finally relief, no need to pretend.
This is it, the light is fading,
come to my rescue I'm yours for the taking.
I'm destined to fall what this is, its a sin,
he finally got what he wanted, the devil within.
By Robielynn Collins
You are my best friend,
through think and through thin,
and I guess you didn't realize,
that it was a sin,
but I prayed to God,
to make you whole,
and to take you to HEAVEN,
and to save your SOUL,
I know he will,
becaus HE'S a loving GOD,
and HE can do anything, with just a nod.
My heart, so broken and unsure
So scared, so young and still so pure
It's been hurt and damaged so many times
Ripped apart, shattered and heard so many lies
Tired of trusting, afraid to care
Just once would like to find someone who'd be there
To simply listen and understand
My wants, My needs and All My plans
Can't let anyone in, but still can't let go
Afraid from the past, worried of what the future beholds
So I'll shelter my heart in every way I can
So it could never cry or hurt again
All alone at the end of the day
The time, just a little past ten
Evening has come for a short stay
It’s time for her sorrow again
The smile on her face she’s been holding
Suddenly, she lets fall
And the feelings begin unfolding
She comes out of her personal wall
As the world settles down for the night
She awakens herself from a dream
The girl they thought had life going right
No longer the image she seemed
She takes off the disguise she’s wearing
Opens her heart to the truth
Now behind closed doors she’s not caring
About life, or love in her youth
She sits by the mirror spilling tears
And she cries by herself in the dark
Hours of acting like there’s no fears
Takes a lot from an empty heart
Inside she’s lonely and sad
But acts like she's fine by day
In her misery, wishing she had
A friend, or a promise to stay
Ashamed of the truth she’s been keeping
Living hours in daylight a lie
This is the reason in darkness she’s weeping
Taking time out from each day to cry
Written by Shannen Wrass
Copyright © 1995 Shannen Wrass. All Rights Reserved
tempted mistress bore a son
acid spit from serpents tongue
sinners sin with no remorse
natures crule and twisted course
passions lust fades away
embedded in the soul to stay
pain conceived of rage
trapped with in a lovers cage
hatreds blade sheds scarlet tears
glaring eyes, ringing ears
adultery's sorrowed tail
an innocents life impaled
We are down on a sandy beach
And our legs dug deep in the sand of pain
Left stranded in the sea of sadness
The night of destruction falling on us with extreme darkness
Hovering on us the venom of evil
With rain drops of blood on our land
The storm getting heavier by the day
The flame of hope blown away by wind of wickedness
We live in a country where no one is safe
Where death darken the sky like an imminent doom
Where the majority live in ardent poverty
A land where corruption is at its peak
Our leaders the master chef to all our miseries
With eyes of blind spot to the need of the people
Deaf ears to the cry of the innocent
Blind eyes to the sufferings of the poor
The beat of political madness stirs in the air
With sound wave of pain to all the citizen of the land
Human lives valued only for a couple of coins and a few naira note
Innocent blood shed all in the name of political game
The taste of power and excessive desire for wealth
Sum with their selfish and political greed
Puts our dear nation in a state of unrest
Children of innocent souls being tortured through burning knife of evil
Leaving the youths to live their lives in fear
Our girls are no longer safe to go to school
Terrorism the bad sweet smell polluting our atmosphere
With it effect on us an horrible scar
People being nurtured to the highest point of hatred
With every of their road leading to violence and terrorism
Little by little we are losing our national pride
Our economy dropping faster than the speed of sound
Our leaders failing in every good sense of leadership
With the interest of the people far from their mind
From the cry of the rejected and abused children
To the tears of the suffering and confused adult
Same questions comes to the mind of every nigerian
Why do we have to suffer this much?
Are our leaders so blind to see that the nation is on a downhill of destruction?
How long will it take for them to hear our cry?
And what will it take for everything to change for good?
I guess only God has the answers to all this questions
And the golden key to our freedom
All will have to do is to keep praying
And keep hold of our little flame of hope
Cos one day I believe everything will change for good
MY HEART BEATS FOR KYOGERA
For these past 5yrs I have spent
I tried looking for a gal to replace you,
But all I found could not match your acquaintance
For I kept shunning company of girls and the league of lovers
For I kept on lounging for you
At all times in dreams dazing at you,
but they could never materialize
I could hear your voice call my name
Only to hear echoes that made my friends
To refer to me as a charmed being
I still dream seeing your old face
How tend, awesome and cute you were then
Though I hope to get chance and see the real you
To wash away my nostalgic feelings
I used to frequent the village well
with my father’s herd to the nearby shrubs
just to ogle at you while
you were fetching water smiling
the jokes you made with your friends
for only that sight of you made my day memorable
Not so long before he died
When he decided to have me
I saw a solemn promise
When he opened his eyes
His eyes were small but became wide
Whenever he looked at me
With an eye of loving care which now miss
And for it now I apprise
He wiped my tears when I cried
And chased the hunger out of me
He made sure I had all my peace
Through his bright eyes I could analyze
Not so long before he applied
All his plans for me
Before his dreams and life could kiss
When the wind blew him to the skies
Now he's gone leaving promises out they dried
More he had for me
But none I have
And it still pokes in my heart like a wire
When I remember the precious eyes of my sire
I was his pride
And he was mine too
I hardly saw his promises
When his eyes were closed
Unfortunately none were held in my hands
I try to cease the pain
But my tears still drop like the rain
When I remember myself gazing in his eyes
The eyes of my sire.
Deep in silence I focus on my pain
I've kept it buried below and softly away
Disabling all of my false and insecure pride
Filtering through the faces I keep disguised
Its been well overdue for me to make a change
While my words become like rotting fruit and falls away
Searching for something to mend a shattered heart
Insearch of inspiration, but instead I fell apart
Give me a pair of wings and watch me fly
Then watch me crash and burn out of the sky
I know that my plate is made warm for me on the table
As I begin to wonder if I will change at all
Honestly I'm not sure that I can
Behind a box of excuses you will find a man
With a heart so big and wants to save the world
But yet so selfish that my punishment is well deserved
I'm so tired of defending what I'm not and have become
And still I keep pretending that nothing is wrong
Throw me the obvious and I will wear it on my back
As the summer night illuminates memories I can't have
I know that my dinner is getting cold as I grow unstable
Uncertainty has become all but a poetic fable
But I will keep on digging until the whole is dug
As the hole keeps getting bigger with every plunge
Tomorrow doesnt exsist until it comes
So tonight I light a candle for hope until it does
Welcome To My World
Have you ever tried to cry
But there's no tears left to shed
Have you ever seen the face of misery
Or looked into the eyes of dread
Have you ever gripped the pain
Cause it's all that's left to hold
Have you ever tried so hard to love
But found, your heart was just too cold
Have you ever just had to accept,
Your agony has no end
Have you ever been so desperate,
You've claimed the sorrow your best friend
Have you ever held hands with depression
Wept on the shoulder of fear
Have you ever reached out to emptiness
But there's nothing to pull near.
Have you sobbed yourself to sleep
Anguish at the foot of your bed
Have you ever been shaken from your dream
To be thrown in a nightmare instead
Have you felt the cringe inside
Embraced by betrayal and hate
Have you ever then just had to dwell
In a world that terror creates
Have you ever been left empty
No Courage to unfold
If you've ever known the hurt
Then welcome to my world
Written by Shannen Wrass
Copyright © 1995 Shannen Wrass. All Rights Reserved
Prince Obi Wan is not a morning dog, you see —
He grumbles and he fusses, when awakened,
Just like me!
Wherever I am, You will find him there,
He is my flame through time,
That shall never fail,
With him, I have not one fear,
He howls his complaints,
When things do not quite go his way –
Yet even still, he is the best part,
Of any given day!
He sings with heart, for all to hear,
He gives each song, all he has,
That is –
My Prince Obi Wan, my little fur-man,
Now his body has gone,
Yet even still, his spirit remains,
I feel him each place I go,
He will always be with me,
This I absolutely know.
“Bring back our girls”: a silent whisper now the global anthem,
Re-echoing the opposing bells to our corrupt system
Is this the prospect sought-after by our patriotic gem?
Nigeria! Listen to the loud tears of your future stem,
Give joy to daughter-hood; salvage them.
But wait! Bombing at first now abducting,
And our tomorrow, they take liberty in destroying:
Creeping into our streets with arsenals uninviting;
Kai! Things are falling apart swiftly, as a mountain erupting.
Oh! Once upon a time in Chibok
Unraveling the serene puzzles gazing from our books;
Reading and playing to pass examination’s hook
Girls in tender uniforms with big dreams,
Insuring their future on the seedbed of academic teams,
Rain-date indeed! Absent from our schemes;
Little wonder you were abducted; as in Nollywood films,
Shai! Where is God in this scenario? It seems.
I put on my mask to hide,
all these feelings,
I feel inside,
the anger, the hate,
the hurt, and the sorrow,
I'm not looking forward,
to another tomorrow,
so whats one to do,
but live these lies,
and keep all of these feelings,
tucked deep down inside,
were no one can see them,
but I know their, there,
if only they knew,
would they really care?,
so on stays my mask,
to hide the real me,
hoping that no one,
can actually see,
the anger I'm holding,
the pain that I feel,
just wishing in time,
that it would all just heal.
An Angel was set to me today
To speak the words I could not say
Deep in my heart I knew the truth
And the mask you wore has come unglued
Walk me past that hidden road
The one I chose has no remorse
I will run, I’m free from the lies
And my heart is now beating back to life
Your voice is speaking inside my head
Telling me every word you said
Those words made smiles but now I see
They were never true and now killing me
There is a stale emptiness, a darkness inside
Where I stay quiet from the feelings I hide
Tears start to fall without any sound
into a cemetery where the love’s buried down
So take me Angel away with you
In heaven’s arms there is always truth
The crack in the sidewalk watched me today
as I walked to school alone that one summer day
The Sun was opening its wings for me
Had only two miles to walk among the Grove trees
It seemed to talk to me as knowing what is and could be
why my Mother left only a lost dream.
The crack in the sidewalk was there for me
as I walked in the scorching heat
with little summer breeze
wandering aimless I found a puppy
laying under a lone shade tree
The crack in the sidewalk was laughing at me
as I took her home to be with me
Charcoal her name will always be
the key tied around my neck opened the door
while No one was there Milk was free
and she came to be with me
The crack in the sidewalk stared at me
we laughed and played every day until eve
I took my bike crossed the street
a car came and took her from me
The crack in the sidewalk I'll always see
my arm held tight my little baby with me
a broken heart never to be glued
just a lonely child that Loved
A man that cries alone is a man that dies alone
Living life through the words of a heart filled song
The heart beats to the rhythm of the soul which is hard to contain
The feeling of lost and rejection never can be maintained
If I should die tomorrow where will I go?
Give my flowers while I’m alive because when I’m gone I will never know
In life trials and troubles it seems like one way in and no way out
Doing the right thing but getting the wrong results leaves nothing but a fearful doubt
My past is my past so please don’t judge me
We live in the present so look past all my imperfections and know there is a future that I seek
It’s amazing how the finger points and the beam is blinding your eyes
The truth is always seen no need of a disguise
I died a million deaths and still I stand strong
I was never a follower of anyone because of these battles I have to fight alone
I failed a couple of times which most people liked it that way
They kicked me while I was down and only hoped that was the position that I stayed
But still I rise with a victory of a bittersweet taste
I turned and walked away but happily went back to pick up their faces
I don’t seek for revenge for you reap what you sew
Before your lips part and speak that vapor I will let you prepare yourself to take these notes
By Robielynn Collins
I never knew what I had,
until he was gone for good,
and if I could, I'de go back in time,
and change the way it should,
see, I cared about you, in my own way,
and never in the world did I mean to betray,
because you were my friend,
from dusk to dawn,
and I never, ever thought,
that you would be gone,
out of my life, in the blink of an eye,
but atleast you cared enough.
to say: GOOD-BYE!
Here I am sat alone wondering why you aren’t by my side?
How come I was with my parents and felt like I had to hide?
I was no older than 3, was I really to blame for your fights?
As parents, you were meant to love & protect me; did you know I could survive?
Did you know I was stronger than you?
That I was better than your ways?
After everything you put me through
Why am I trying to justify your mistakes?
Will I always chase your affection?
Will I get sick of all the rejection?
I’m trying to remember the times before depression
Do you regret not seeing my progression?
Did you ever regret letting me go?
Would i of got in the way of your drinking?
Am i wrong for letting you know?
Everything I’m feeling and thinking
If you weren’t ready to be a mum or dad yet
Why didn’t you use a condom when you had sex?
How come my half brother & sister get your love?
When I couldn’t even get a hug?
Mum why couldn’t you pick up a phone?
When dad died
Why did I have to deal with it alone?
Why was I raised by care staff in children’s homes?
Why did you give up on me?
Why were you never there?
Why do I still love you?
When you never cared
Now I’m scared of having kids
Incase I leave and do the same
But I could never do what you did
And put an innocent kid through the pain
Dear Mum and Dad
I Live My Life but Not the Way you Wanted it
I Hold a Dark Secret Deep Inside of Me
I Want to Explain How Much it Hurts Inside
I Want to Tell You this Secret I Hide
You May Not Want to Listen or Understand
But All I Ask Is Accept Me or Even Hold My Hand
I Have Desires but I Never Ask for Demands
I Live to Give My Heart Not to a Woman but
To a Man
I Know it Will Be Hard to Accept What I Just Explain to You
And I Know it Will Rip Your Heart in Two
Please Don't Be Ashamed or Even Turn Away
Its Going to Be Part of My Life and Will Always Be
Don't Go Blaming Yourself Cause You Don't Want it to Be True
But No Matter What You Decide I Will Always Love You