Throughout the winter it's like I'm gone
Watching you from far beyond
Seeing you through the trees
Something sounds like honey bees
Watching you from far beyond
Wishing that I was not gone
Lovely roses round your head
Trees that shine green and red
Winters gone and I am back
I feel like such an insomniac
Here I am you are asleep
That's when I hear a beep
1 day 2 days 3 days by
It really makes me wanna cry
Summers gone and winters back
It's back to were it started at.
Love raided the heart
And occupied my mind
There was no chance
But to surrender
For, the love army surrounded the gates
Ceasefire was restored
I began to forget the hard days
The army again planned an offence
Where I had no chance of defence
From then on:
I am in a state of alert
Where I cannot avert
The sweet pain of love
Laying here ...
On the grass
Its such a peaceful night
Layin here ...
As I slowly inhale, exhale
Among the diamonds in the sky
I soon begin to visualize
Your perfect face,
your perfect smile
My mind quickly begins to rewind
To the days when you and I
were more than once upon a time.
I have but one regret in life
I let insecurities dictate how I walked the line
Hand in hand with ignorance and pride
So many feelings I held inside
The love of my life, I self denied
If only I had told u a long time ago
Your name is written on my heart,
Your silhouette imprinted within my soul
Maybe u would have never closed your door
on me ....
I cant get in.....
He changed the lock
And now she holds the key.
And here I am
Laying here ...
Wondering if she sees
You as I do now.
I think of all my smiles that I've worn,
which hide my sorrows underneath.
No one seems to notice that ,
I'm going through so much grief.
I cry and cry inside my pretty little tired eyes,
no one actually seems to realize,
what is presently going inside.
I'm going far away from everyone.
That no one seems to see my real pain.
My heart is totally broken after so much suffering,
unable to face anyone.
It feels like it's the last of my life,
As i have got no support by my side.
I have really started to abhor myself and
have started to find things quite uncertain.
I find people to be quite ignorant towards me,
as it is,i know they are idyllic without me.
I am very puzzled at present,
What to do?Is my situation.
I only meet illusive people in this inconsiderate world.
I am such a numpty person,
that in this world expect people to know my situation.
After knowing as it is they would remain ignoramuses.
Love hurts and people change. Things go wrong and things get strange. But life goes on and you only life it once. Be strong cause things will get better over the months. I thought I was heartbroken, I thought you were my world. You fooled me though, made me think I was your only girl. But all along, you didnt care. Im not sure, your were even completely there. But now I've moved on, when I thought it was impossible. I had to be the bigger person in this breakup, I was responsible. I let it get to me, but I didnt let it ruin me completely. I didnt do anything about the hurt you caused me, I acted so sweetly. I let you walk all over me, I tried to ignore how you disrespected me. But when I ended things, the pain was easier to see.
She walked through the woods
remembering his face
ashen and grey against the pillow.
He had been taken by
the sweeping sickness
that had engulfed her land
taken so swiftly
that she had not
had time to reach him.
The pain of her loss
had been unbearable
and she had roamed the house
in rage and grief
at anyone who came close.
The madness had left her eventually,
left her alone
bereft of her love.
That was many years ago now,
but still his face haunted her,
his eyes accusing
the horror of her absence
that he must face alone
the time of his death.
It never left her, this guilt she carried.
Many had consoled her, told her that she
was not blame,that it was not her fault.
She knew better,she remembered telling him one dreadful
storm filled night, that she would always be there.
She shook her head free of the memories,
she was old now and it was so long ago,
she would be welcomed when she left this earth.
Absolved of this guilt that had consumed her life.
She saw the tree as she entered the clearing.
His treee, his favorite place.
Whenever he was troubled or scared
she would find him there,curled up beneath the boughs.
It was his haven, his place of safe keeping.
Glancing around she felt again,as she always did
his presence near to her, tantalisingly close.
She walked to the tree and sat down,
resting her back against the trunk,
letting the sunlight warm her face.
Slowly as she sat there, eyes closed and silent.
He came to her as if in a dream,
or perhaps she was dreaming, she did not know
or care,she only knew he was before her,
that her love was with her once more .
Tears streamed from her eyes and her throat burned
as he touched her face,stroked her hair.
A smile touching his lips as he gazed into her eyes.
Slowly he knelt before her and lay back,
resting his head on her lap.
Happiness swept through her like fire,
he was forgiving her, letting her know
that it was not her fault that he had died alone.
Her hand traced the features she loved more than life
and her lips met his in an endless kiss.
The night was dark when the villagers found her.
She was sitting in a clearing, lying next to a tree.
The moonlight illuminated her in its silvery rays
and in its bathing light they saw what they had
not seen in decades. She was smiling, in death
she was smiling.
12 , December 1999
Copyright 2013 ACB
if time heals all wounds,?
my cure lies in patience,?
if sadness makes us stronger,?
sorrow lives as my acquaintance,
the sun rises slowly but has to set again too soon,
the sun brings us the light but is only shadowed by the moon,
the sun shows our imperfections, and the moon leaves them transparent,
but if i speak truth let me be a declarant,
true beauty shines through when under darkness, moon or sun,
your beauty stay true, equalled by none,
time will heal not being by your side,
and the sorrow will give me strength to be proud that i tried,
one day you will find a love much greater than I,
i just long for the chance to say that your mine.
A yearn… simply something that you want or long for. As a yearn to finish, a yearn to achieve, a yearn for a like, a yearn for a smile is something that you drastically want, a desire. Something that you spend long hours, nights even day dreaming hours thinking about how you can earn that smile. What can you do…. or what can you say … things such as a conversation sparks, likes even dislikes, mostly anything that will crack a smile. These are things that truly show signs of something far greater than fame, sex, money, power. What is it? Something more than I have yet to find. So as I search for the answer I over shoot the entrance with rapid thinking of what she wants, her likes, her dislikes. But truly it will only be earned by who you are, what you want to be, yourself, your feelings your desires, your yearn. So when you yearn for that smile or that special something it can only be earned by being you, no one else. Take a look at yourself in the mirror and try to see past the makeup or tan or piercing and just look at yourself… then take that image and imprint it to yourself forever because to find happiness and your yearn can only be earned one way. Trying to watch her and she how she reacts to certain things just to make myself seem better when I finally open my mouth to her will only make you distant from that special someone. With me I personally see myself as buff pierced orange person, while trying to continue to follow the people who I look up to the most. So as you struggle and go through life’s trials and tribulations always look at your yearn or what it once it what was. Think about how you felt when you failed or succeeded and try to make yourself a better person from it. Not by adding more glamour or appeal to yourself but by being closer to yourself. What you really are. Because only then can you truly say you earned your yearn of a smile or that special someone, even if there not with you, apart of them will be and that’s the part they left. The part that made you better. More complete. So never forget your yearn of her..
Pain of loosing you...........
Black Clouds gather in the sky
Weeping along with me
Because they know the fact that
Loosing you is painful for me
Only the sweet memories of the past
Have remained behind
It is only your sweet face
which does not vanish from my mind
the moments we had spent together
have become a memory for the life time
I am still waiting for you to return
so that we can be together again for a while
Come back Oh! dear
is what my heart repeats again and again
as for me its truly impossible
to bear the killing pain
The sadness has become my friend
and loneleness is now always with me
because they know the fact that
loosing you is painful for me
Thanks and regards,
Tell me it isn't true
That he didn't hurt you too
Tell me that your not crying
Please tell me your lying
Why I ask you
Why I say
Why should this happen today
Onlt 13 years
Now we shead 13 tears
Will my soul recover
My days and nights gets longer
Wondering if my days will get shorter
Feeling my heart getting heavy
The wish to hear his voice is driving me crazy
In loving memory Christopher Monte' Rivera
I wake up crying alone in the dark;
The thoughts of the dream made me scream;
I seek out your hand but its not there, nor are you;
I take ahold the bear and hug it tight.
I hold it,rocking myself, that dream was to real;
How we used to be, oh so happy;
In your arms, I was so safe;
Your kiss made my heart leap.
I miss you cant you see?
Our love was strong;
She came along and broke it;
Now we are done.
yes, I am lonely enough to die;
lonely enough to cry;
lonely enough to ask Myself 'why'?
yes, I am lonely enough to say goodbye!
Everybody wants to live forever;
its what i wanted never;
the thing i wanted ever;
but nobody loved me like forever.
Nobody wants to die;
Nobody wants to cry;
its Me who wanted this all to try;
and thats the reason why every second i die!
Its the most difficult thing to realize,
when you yourself wants to be killed by a knife;
is it really swift to live such a life;
NO! as you know you have to be wise!
Can't even attempt something like suicide;
cause my religion is still walking beside.
its makes me feel scared side by side,
what if i died and nobody cried!
Still there is something to which I am tied;
but umpteen times i have lied;
and umpteen times i have cried;
as i really not find this world wide.
As I told you i never was clever;
so now I am saying GOODBYE FOREVER!
strange thing love,
even in the darkest of depths,
in an instant it grows,
bringing forth light to this dark scarred heart,
there it grows so fragile,
trying to bloom on nothing but the light it emities,
yet long after the wilted flower has but faded away,
tears water the roots every day,
in hope that light will return to this darkness
Now's the time to say good-bye...
And, no, I won't miss you,
And, No, I won't cry.
I've gotta move on, get outta this place,
I'm sick of your "stuff", tired of your face.
Once upon a time, our hearts were both pure,
But now, you're my nightmare,
And I'm just your whore.
Laughter and love no longer remain,
I know if I stay here you'll drive me insane,
With your goddamn attitude, your late night alibi's
All of your promises that turned into lies...
So I hesitate before I reach the door,
And take a look around once more.
You're staring at me with sadness in your eyes,
I know you too well, baby, it's just a disguise.
Now's the time to say good-bye...
And, YES, I will miss you,
And, YES, I will cry.
My face is distorted
Is my real face even showing?
I don't know if I'm experiencing my true feelings
My love is true is yours?
I demand you and you shut the door in my face repeatedly
We have many years together and yet we have nothing
Our children see the real you
The real person I have seen since day one
I can't believe you let your love for society get in the way of my innocents
How dare you?
I have to be everything to them and it's not fair to them
They will grow up knowing I was the only consistency in their wee lives
Where is the outline for me?
Do you hear my screams? What about the silent ones?
I go without so much because my wee little ones need more than I
What do you go without?
I look in the mirror at myself
Who is looking back at me?
Is this really me? Is this really my life?
I stood by you through so much
The things you did the things you said to me
You have hurt me like no other has and yet I'm still here are you?
Emotionally I'm not here, My heart stays here, But I can't figure out where my mind is
Or where it all belongs?
I'm so torn, so broken, so numb
I guess I'm just going to be distorted for the rest of my time with you
I promised I would love you through everything and I have but where is the outline?
I don't see the real me and haven't in a long time thanks to you
I don't even do my hobbies anymore I just sit and watch the world as I call life pass by
Why do you want our wee little innocents to see this? what would posses you to?
If I broke my promise would I be submitted to the pits for enternity?
I gained so much and yet I lost more much
You hurt me with life itself and nothing but fear
Can you honestly tell me what have you lost you entire life?
It feels like a band-aid that I just can't take off no matter how I rip it off
Do I wear a mask over me? Does anyone see the real me anymore?
I hurt so much with you but yet I loved you for so long
I can't accept your I'm sorry pity excuses anymore
Is my face nothing to you? Does it mean nothing to you?
My heart feels so much anger, depression, emotions of not being wanted
Do you or have you ever felt this way?
I don't know what to believe in anymore
I feel like paper and I'm being torn into a million pieces
Or what if you are putting me through a paper shredder?
Is the real me even showing?
The smell of a delicate rose
That scrapes a nose
Flowers in Spring
With a smell so obscene
A taste of chocolate cake
Causing a face to break
It's like a walk on a cool beach
That scorches the feet
It can be just a step in warm water
That freezes to ice
Or a deserted Island
That's no longer paradise
Deception in love and life
Is like getting married, to find no husband or wife
It's a heart that loves unconditionally
But is smashed so brutally
A trusting heart, that's a beast in size
Only 2 be beaten down, by tiny lies
It's a deceptive shower in the month of May
When all hoped for, was a brighter day
Like freezing snow on a night of June
When summer ended so very soon
Swimming with dolphins, with no care
Then spotting a shark there
Like waiting Winter, each December
And find out it's not coming, or didn't remember
Deception has no regard for anyone or any things
It destroys like a hurricane, then sings
I love you; I hate you
Jealousy is not the cause
Killing you wouldn’t justify
Lustfully breaking the laws
The third line is not an option
By every image spoken,
her mind and heart were broken;
the given and the taken
sought their grave for things forsaken.
Belief and dream dissolving
to a point beyond resolving,
sinking painful instants after
in a hiss of serpent laughter.
Mythology sent packing,
fading image grey and lacking;
wasted time drained in seclusion,
mourned the rag and bone illusion.
What a fool, somehow believing
in the words, denied deceiving;
now alone with smiles resigned,
her orphaned love, no home to find.
Albeit, I may not be that special someone
But, fate has led me to your door
Casting negativity created to its wasteland
Defining chances, now yet to explore
Explaining to you, truly, is never that easy
For your beauty always makes me lose control
Granted, I manage to say some things, you see
Hoping you’ll come with me, together to be whole
I only pray that you will one day see me
Just as I wished, forever for you
Keep in your heart an open door, freely
Leaving me chances to make love then true
My only goal is to see that you’re happy
Never to make you feel guilt or restrict
Open your self to wondrous possibilities
Permit then yourself, no pain to inflict
Quarantine your heart, protect it from sorrow
Realize please darling, love is so great
Surely you’ll see that dreams of tomorrow
Tempt us today, to alter our fate
Until then darling, take this with you
Vacant hearts need passion to thrive
With that in mind, remember this true
‘Xpressing my love keeps me alive
Your love returned to one day be true
Zephyrs of love, I blow back to you
because of this game you played with me now i cant sleep
the way you left me it was un called for
you left me for that hore
she will never do the things i do for u
the only things she gon do is abuse you
because tha game you feel ashame
now you aint got the fame the way you use to blame me
and never blame your self can you belive
how you leave me so harshly now i can see
I know its the summer time because of how naturally
Your beauty compliments the caress of a summer breeze
As I watch the world from beneath a shady tree
I take in the delightful comfort of everything I see
But in the same breath I am holding up my hands
Lord will you please give me back the things I no longer have
They are even more a part of me now that they are gone
As the sun falls below where the horizon is still holding on
Somewhere between the falling light and a star lit night
Is a dream that last forever and will never say goodbye
As the wind gently blows through the brush and shakes the leaves
It begins to hum a melody that I want to sing
At that very moment I smile for all the joy I have
Its so uplifting for me to see melancholy dance
Soon the morning sun will rise and capture my eyes
As I watch the hand of God paint a brand new sky
With every stroke of color I swallow all my pride
And I find a new place to dream of endless times
If I should ever get to the place I left my broken heart
Only then will I believe this brand new day will start
Again Im reminded of why my heart beats so restlessly
Only the speed of thought and my soul beneath this tree
The immigration is coming for me
I live in a two bedroom house with eight other families
We will be deported, this process includes a meal, so our stomachs will be full
I dream at night for beans, rice and burritos
I cook my burritos in fat, heavy lard
I check my pockets, now I'm worried, I think I lost my green card
I have gas and burps because of the food
I want to make bambinos, but the senora is not in the mood
She's not ready, she says I'm pushing too hard
Now she's mad, flushes my wallet down the toilet, there goes my green card
Now rice and beans will be my meals three times a day
The immigration is the predator and I'm the prey
I sneak through a hole in the fence
This shows the border patrol is incompetent
I am again caught and sent back across the border
I will miss the reruns of Law and Order
Sam Waterson can't win a case, what a retard
This all goes back to when I lost my green card
You knocked my heart’s door & I let you in
You were a thief; you stole it! Because of how kind you have been
Your words were extremely sweet and I was a sugar addict
You were a psychic because my future works you could predict
You were tremendously thankful for the simplest thing I did
You made me live the dream & dream life like a kid
You planted my garden with flowers of laughs
You filled my sea by drops of hope & faith
You were my mirror; you reflected me perfectly
You were incredibly modest & no word could describe you correctly
You! You! Yes you! Y, O, U! You are simply amazing
You were, are, and will always be miraculously surprising
I wish I could erase all my errors, all my mistakes
To gain your trust and love I’ll do whatever it takes
Believe me honey it kills me when I hear that in your heart is born hate
Because in the end we both know that you are my soul mate.
the last night i've seen you in the sky, it was dark and you were bringing light, i've
seen you at the same time i've seen some others stars, all similars, i almost got comfused
with them all but night by night i was seeing all those stars were moving or just not
lighting anymore and you were still there, night by night i looked for you, i didn't know
that you were my star.
That dark night, I cried in the heavy rain,
And cold drops blended with my grave pain,
O, sorrow, thou shed down my live meadows,
What relief didst bear thy wary falling widows.
Lost deceived spirit from not love betrayed,
Cold in the dark, tyrannized silence swayed,
The splash of paradise glory cannot be seen,
And all agonized humour shade eyes’ screen.
Night haunted thoughts, and my dejected soul
hovered in the chilly dreams of undying fall,
Frozen in mortality, knowing yet, there’s more,
Of my future history to be told of my past lore.
Dark in the cold, deluded by paths of lies,
Paved by fatuous wisdom and falling rise;
Lost in legacy, impeded by hysterical ties
I obediently surrender to stream of eyes.
My father shed a tear before he calmly died,
A single shallow burn on skin swiftly dried.
And the morning lionized congruous rain,
How rigorous thou art, nature, when in pain.
To my love that's far away
I think of you every night and day
And when i am alone
I watch the stars and wait for a sign
And when the brightest star appear
Then, I know you feel my lonely tears.
Days seem to be years
And minutes lead to hours
My love for you grows like a flowers
My heart keeps telling me
That you're the one for me.
Remember those days
I feel so alive and happy
All my worries and problems disappear from inside
To my love that is faraway
I'm so lost and don't know my way without you.
Will i remain a stray?
When i close my eyes to cry
Just then i hear you whisper my love
That moment everything is al right.
As i open the window and watching you from heaven above
So far from me...
In GOD's LOVE, I trully understand...
Chose us to be
Let us take this LOVE forever and ever....
Listen my love...
It's time to say
Since the day the
world came into
existence it has
been grim and cold!
Like a medicine
we'll have to take
sooner or later
Its taste in our
At this time tears
and promises will be
In an empty solace
The curtains fall,
the film is over
The one we thought
would never end.
As you see we've got
nothing to talk
Just sorrow in our
This is separation
what we had never
It's the twin sister
I'm leaving! We'll
never see each other
This were our last
You'll start a new
with your new
he'll kiss your
he'll whisper love
to your ear
Except for the
what a shame
nothing left of me
inside of you
put out your
cigarette we can get
10 steps later our
paths have to split
Don't! No don't cry
And don't say
anything to me
Cause even when
you're breaking up
one should stand
I'm leaving..yes I'm
We'll never get to
see each other again
This were our last
You'll start a new
him with your new
i could sit here. day in and day out
thinking of the most proper way
to let the ink in the pen spill out
but as of late im feeling prehistoric
so much weight on my shoulders
and i dont know where to go
resuscitate my soul
look back up and head to the goal
so much evil around. i feel like the devils workin double shifts just to bring me down.
on the road to redemption
you can take a seat up in the front section
just so you can feel the emotions
in this electric notion
i've done a lot of things that hide the halo
let it all collaborate when i medicate
now look at me, mind workin like plato
formulate a new path to take so i can
maneuver through all the mistakes
we all know we cant change what we've already made
but we can change the next thing we create
startin to sound like a serenity prayer
5 steps till im thirty
and the twenty four before i was never a player
found out when the lights came back on im strictly a lover
its the strongest drink for your soul, when its thirsty
so careful how much you intake or be left hungover
even worse be the one she ran over
i dont mean to come off like im too deep
but the obstacles made there way through just to scrape through
and leave me suffocating
just for me to re-invent a new way to breathe, re-decorating
is your life so complicated
you rather wet up your pillows and revoke from the life you live
just think of your kids mourning
theyll never see that pretty face in the morning any more
cheer your self up
you got a lot to live for
your a gem and im that friend
trynna appraise the value
that you dont see inside of you
just another day for him
searchin wonderin what his purpose is
running in circles
till he found a way through all the turbulence
Here in the middle of the nothing I'm lost, I've wanted every single thing for me, i
wanted something better, but i just noticed that i already had every singel thing i
wanted, every single thing i needed, now i'm sailing alone looking for that thing i've
lost and now i need, i've lost something the biggest chest wouldn't hold, the money
wouldn't buy, i've lost you my heart.
to: ashton, the girl i miss so much
We have known much earlier,
That the moon will watch our failure
Long before we met each other,
And we shall suffer
Crises of boredom and colorless scenes;
And will exchange our love for devilish means;
The apple season will end,
As a tear sips another and dies,
The moon reflects our lies,
And the darkness swallows paths and glints
Love will die.
Grievous silence challenges body curves
A laugh wants to cry
Challenges our pride to collapse;
The flame of love is blown off,
Our promises are left behind
Crooning to dreams of time,
Fate witnesses our separating crime,
The corpse is torn photos,
Letters these, once, were holy scripts,
And scattered flowers which were precious gifts.