Would You Not Prefer a Chair, Mrs Atwood

Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood? I'm sure we have one going spare You see that pink sofa that you brought with you Just won't quite fit up our stairs Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood? I see you like it on the floor But the ground, whilst sound for bums big and round Could make your skinny bottom just sore Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood? My! That's a fetching trampoline But whilst a bounce is good for your health It'll turn our other guests quite green Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood? You're sitting in a bowl of fruit I'm not one to judge, or to try give advice But squashed peaches aren't good for your suit Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood? Please don't sit on the cake I know it's delicious and the icing is firm But it did take me hours to bake Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood? That's a smashing helter-skelter It's got to be said, though it hurts my head It really is quite a belter, but… Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood? I'm wincing at your new choice of seat That rat and mouse trap, could make your bum snap And I've just got this place nice and neat Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood? Where did you find all those balloons? 44 on each arm and your legs in a hammock And assisted by 14 baboons?! Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood? You've squeezed into a window pane That's quite a talent, and I'm truly impressed It's a sight I shan't see again, but Would you not prefer a chair Mrs Atwood? I know it sounds boring and dull Compared to that bouncy castle you've brought But you see, the room's already full Ah! Thank you for choosing a chair Mrs Atwood Please let's make amends I do like people with random ideas So, let's sit together as friends On CHAIRS Mrs Atwood, on good solid CHAIRS Yes, let's sit together as friends