What To Name This,

I don't understand this.. My head is filled with thought. But I speak none of it. My heart is filled with love. But no one to share it with. My soul is filled with darkness. But no light to shed on it. I hate what I feel. The pain is real. External pain. Internal pain. Is what I feel. I don't want to feel like this. But I have no control over it. My body is taken over. Nothing feels real. I sit in the shadows. Afraid to see the light. The silence overwhelms me. Never knowing what to say. My dreams turn to nightmares. Terrifying and dark. Trying to sleep at night. It feels like a battle doomed to lose. Drugs I consume takes the pain away. Well they blind me from what's real. Cuts on my wrist. The only thing that feels real. Depression consumes me. As you can tell. There's something trying to reach me. Not sure what it is. Night fall. Bright moon. Beautiful stars. Alone.