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Laura Breidenthal Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Under which was written by poet Laura Breidenthal. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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He crouched among the ‘noble’ men Of so much worth they were much to him As seas carry creatures, he carries hope within How much longer must he wait for them, then- To let him in? A beam of a smile appeared on his face They spoke of beautiful women, in dance and grace Their laughter fed his soul like water quenching fire His confidence low, yet high his most wanted Desire The chatter was of an upcoming banquet With well-dressed lovelies, their speech eloquent Hearts swollen with wine and merriment He longed to live among them With resentment Eyes never glanced his way, he hoped to find A gleam coming to meet him eye to eye And as they spoke with anxious humor, There came over the youth a sudden Tremor He was ready to make himself known In beggar’s clothes he would have shown That he can speak as eloquent as any And that the smallest bodies of waters Are plenty The ‘noble’ men continued their vibrant chat Without a thought of the boy, not e’en a glance When suddenly the youth sprung up, ignited “My friends, I too—I too Am excited!” There was a pause in the chilly air Some men laughed but the host merely stared The beggar man smiled and bowed so nobly They would have never suspected a man of his tongue As lowly The smile disappeared as they continued to jeer And the boy was overtaken with inferior fear At last the host said, “Good man, I am glad you are excited, But do tell me—er...were you ever Invited?” His head went down the kindhearted floor He could not take the unfeeling eyes on him anymore Pained to the marrow of his bones, he shook his head He was never invited, he was never Well fed He ran away with tears in his youthful eyes It is sad how quickly one’s hope can die And all that night no hope remained but hunger, Leaving him driven to survive, not above But under

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  1. Date: 3/20/2014 6:12:00 AM
    Sorry Laura---Skillful poet---is what I meant to write I must get coffee

  1. Date: 3/20/2014 6:09:00 AM
    You are a skillful Poem. Who hasn't suffered this once in their lives Well done

  1. Date: 10/12/2013 2:36:00 PM
    Laura, powerful write!

  1. Date: 10/3/2013 9:34:00 PM
    Laura, i don't know why the imagery of UNDER takes from his youth... very deep... and powerful.... always~ Linda

  1. Date: 9/30/2013 10:48:00 AM
    This is a sad fact that so many are either over looked or never even noticed. So many other are dashed aside without any notice at all. I enjoyed this write thank you for sharing.

  1. Date: 9/20/2013 5:09:00 PM
    Laura your poetic handling of words and ability on story making are both substantial. Very good work and thank you for it. :) G.

  1. Date: 9/20/2013 3:56:00 PM

  1. Date: 9/20/2013 10:54:00 AM
    Poor boy.... He shall survive! :o) Nice write. Something a little different.

  1. Date: 9/19/2013 12:54:00 PM
    Ah--to be one of the crowd. I noticed you avatar is framed in a hexagon. I don't know how you did that, but it is very clever as usual. This is an interesting story about the haves and have nots. We are about to have a mayoral campaign about this in NY. It should be brutal. Your work is always excellent. Your last comment was adorable. I am very fond of your work as you know. CIAO! I have not posted anything in the past few days, but always come to see what you have done.

  1. Date: 9/19/2013 12:19:00 PM

  1. Date: 9/19/2013 1:56:00 AM
    Excellent work...

  1. Date: 9/18/2013 9:43:00 AM
    WOW Laura, this one's a heart tugger but brilliantly scribed! Loved it sweet lady... 10 out of 7! Big hugs, Jack xoxoxoxox

  1. Date: 9/18/2013 8:50:00 AM
    Hell of a story. Sadly powerful ending. Wonderful job, Laura.

  1. Date: 9/18/2013 3:59:00 AM
    WOW! I couldn't stop reading this tale....You had me going, wondering...what would happen...Sad ending, but a beautiful write...Good one, Laura...hugs