The Wedding Cake, a Collaboration With Ian Jones

What a beautiful, romantic day Most wonderful day of my life I soak up the sun, every ray We're going to be husband and wife The wedding cake's beautiful but where's the knife? And where's my dad? He should be here To give me away, oh my, oh dear! Oh my God! What a Stag Night I can't quite remember, what did we do? Why's there a tattoo on my butt on the right? And why is half my hair blue? I'm panicking now about what will ensue When in the shower blue dye starts to disappear And the girl's name just dissolves from my rear. I'm loving the stairs on the cake A three layer A triple dare Of a husband number three My beautiful day, I swirl for the show Hubby number three won't be free for a while. Still puzzling, how did I get here? A triple trouble stands in front of me The bachelor party a couple of nights ago I wish I was free again The knife in the cake crumbles as the sweet cake is savoured. As the blushing bride I look all around My brothers and sisters, eyes open wide They look at the cake and at the groom frown But they're smacking their lips but not at the bride The church doors are locked, everyone is inside When will the service be over, how long will it take? Before they can get their hands on that cake. As the blushing groom I nervously look at a sister The brothers are scowling, her kids just grinning Don't think you can back out now mister My fate is sealed, my head is spinning The priest calls to order, the service beginning I glance across at the majestic cake Like Kilimanjaro no knife could it break. The wedding day rings dancing on the plate Waiting to be worn on this forever date The service ends, the wedding bells still ringing The now wife and husband each having A million thoughts running The groom takes a quick glance at his years of single The bride not holding back on this mingle. She loving the stairs on the cake A three layer, a triple dare Of a husband number three He is still puzzling, how he got here The cake demolished to only one crumb Just like his chances of being free