The Warrior In His Underpants (True Story) Pt. One

one winter night, I guess about 2 years ago in my old unheated home, which I have since sadly left, I must tell you a remarkable story about an attempted theft about 4 or so in the morning I was upstairs in my bedroom reading in bed, in but my underpants insomnia a plague, but what was to happen soon might make the faint hearted swoon suddenly I heard a crash and shattered glass the whole house shook I thought, oh, now here we go... whoever it was,he must be a real big a_s I figured it was a crook and for me that's all it took anger and rage engulfed me and I felt my pressure rise I can just imagine what you would'a seen then, were you to see my eyes! I jumped up out of bed and in only underpants started loudly to rage, you should'a heard my rants!! I was crazed with boiling anger how dare they invade my home! I'll kick some butt tonight just give me half a second, they'll see me really fight! down the stairs I raced screaming like a banshee it must'a been a sight too bad you didn't see well I guess they had second thoughts about dealing with one so mad they took there change to run only choice they really hadI got see this was a drug infested ethnic 'hood, need I say any more? but even so i was surprised that they would break my door so I patched up the door as best as i could do but sure feeling less secure and you know that must be true well in but just one more week they tried it once again what kind of jerks are they? these drug crazed criminal men? this time again I was reading as I am known to do but still in just my shorts I guess you wonder who how stupid are these skuzz-butts, these turkey hare brained fools? and what inbred from what must be their inferior genetic pools this time I called the cops, and soon enough they came again about 5 am but one thing not the same across the street was standing some weird looking guy he watched with great interest you could see it in his eye the cops began to question him as i sat upon my porch for about 20 minutes my body heat began to scorch the cops they even yelled at me to shut my mouth these young rookie cops I guess would be better off down south I sat in undershorts, the sun would soon arise I wondered what was going on and much to my surprise continued