The Ruination of Eli

"Come closer, you kids, let me tell you a story:
now you all see that there morning glory? Well
that was the blue of this little boy's eyes, born
right in this village; they named him Eli."

"Those eyes had lashes so black and so thick,
it sure was enough to make all us girls sick!
And his skin, do Jesus, was flawless and pure,
and smooth as this ole couch is, what's made of velour."

"Lord, he was held, he was never put down.
We girls took to totin' him all around town.
His hair was as black as a raven's wing,
and if that weren't enough, good God he could sing!"

"He just opened his mouth and out this voice came,
a voice that could put God's angels to shame."

"Now, y'all know how much fun little kittens can be?
But then they grow up, just filled with ennui.
Well, just like them kittens, Eli grew up, but he
was conceited and downright stuck-up!"

"Well, our village, we raised him, and we saw our mistake,
but by that time, humph, it was far too late.
He decided to grace the wide world with his presence,
get away from the village and all of us peasants."

"When he hit the big city, he was shocked and perturbed:
No one fell at his feet, no one praised him with words!
Perplexed and confused, he stared at his face:
his eyes were still blue, his complexion still chaste."

"His hair was still shiny and black as the night,
and his teeth were still even and perfect and white."

        "What's wrong with these people?" he wondered out loud,
        "Why isn't my beauty drawing a crowd?"

"Yes, he was still just as handsome, he touched his smooth chin,
not knowing true beauty lies under the skin."

         "Well, what happened to him?" the children all asked,
         "Did he come crawling back home, sad and downcast?"

"Naw, he actually did make it, he became quite a star,
he had the big houses, the money, the cars.
And girls flocked to him, but didn't stay long,
and he never did figure what always went wrong."

"So he died old and bitter, in his penthouse above:
childless and joyless, still filled with self-love."


©Danielle White
Copyright © | Year Posted 2010


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Date: 3/9/2011 3:15:00 AM
Congratulations on your poetry X2 making through round one of PoetrySoup's contest. The best to you in the finals . Love Carol
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Date: 3/7/2011 12:51:00 PM
Many congrats on your well deserved two first round successes Danielle - luv Janette
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Date: 3/7/2011 11:32:00 AM
Congrats Daniel on your poem winning the semi finals. Wish you success in the final. -Mohammad
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Date: 2/18/2011 12:33:00 PM
Congratulations on your poetry being featured this week Danielle. Love, Carol
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Date: 2/14/2011 5:18:00 PM
Congrats Dani on being featured this week. Hope all is well. God Bless. Vince
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Date: 9/30/2010 2:57:00 PM
Gotta tell you I loved Carol's choices, yet I would have been hard put not to give you a #1 too! (I'm a sucker for dialects ;) Please consider entering my new contest I know you'd do it proud. Light & Love
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Date: 9/27/2010 11:29:00 AM
A wonderful tale, I enjoyed the read. Congratulations on your third place win. Caryl
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Date: 9/26/2010 4:37:00 PM
Congratulations on the 3rd place win in the contest,
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Date: 9/26/2010 4:16:00 PM
Great story and good moral to it. Beauty without character wears thin p[retty fast. Congratulations Love, Joyce
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Date: 9/26/2010 4:00:00 PM
Congrats Danielle on your super win in the Story Time contest.. a wonderful write and win to enjoy my friend tonight with luv...
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Date: 9/26/2010 3:45:00 PM
Congratulations on your 3rd Place win in my Story Time contest Danielle. Love, Carol
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Date: 3/29/2010 10:33:00 AM
I like the ending . What a write. Your not bad at all. P.d.
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Date: 3/29/2010 6:36:00 AM
Thank you for sharing your poetry with us Danielle. It is so wonderful to see you posting again. Hope you are getting better as each day comes and goes. I wish you the best always in your writing endeavors whatever they may be. Hoping you have a wonderful week filled with love and inspiration. Love, Carol
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Date: 3/28/2010 9:56:00 AM
Excellent Danielle a masterpiece of poetry.. great story and so enjoyed reading your creative write today..luv.. Linda-Marie..
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Date: 3/28/2010 7:34:00 AM
Great wit and wisdom in this poem, Danielle...I could be wrong but I see a possible childrens' book here? - Tim
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Date: 3/28/2010 6:42:00 AM
Fantastic tale of an inner war lost to self envy. Nicely written Danielle
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