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The Instrument's Hiss

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Below is the poem entitled The Instrument's Hiss which was written by poet Black Eyed Susan. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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The Instrument's Hiss

She wanted a baby more than life
So she went and booyah’d 50 guys
Her smile dazzled everyone she met
When she finally learned she was pregnant 
Her breasts grew larger, her belly too
She decorated the nursery with pink and blue
But at the doctors, something was amiss
The only sound was the instrument’s hiss
There wasn’t a heartbeat; her eyes grew wide 
“Doctor is my baby, dead inside?”
“Let’s do a sonogram, see what it shows”
But his eyes were sad, his movements slow
As the sonogram screen lit up the womb
It wasn’t as they’d thought, a baby’s tomb
Because in fact, there was no baby there
Just an aching hole, and a woman’s despair

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  1. Date: 4/23/2014 7:50:00 PM
    So heartbreaking. Congratulations on your win.

  1. Date: 4/22/2014 3:27:00 PM
    Yes, I remember this tragic sonnet, Susan. BIG congrats with another win for you with it. One of your best sonnets. Is it your only sonnet? Luv, Andrea

  1. Date: 4/22/2014 2:03:00 PM
    Deep and heartfelt. joy and disillusion. congrats on your win. // paul

  1. Date: 4/22/2014 9:37:00 AM
    Congratulation again on the fine win with this lovely poem,

  1. Date: 4/21/2014 9:37:00 PM
    Susan, Congratulations, --Enjoyed your awesome win. Thank you so much for the support... Always & forever *Linda

  1. Date: 12/25/2012 7:30:00 PM
    Merry Christmas, Susan. WHAT's UP?

  1. Date: 11/10/2012 2:16:00 PM
    love this clever write, Susan - so glad to see it was a winner. Thanks very much - loved your contest : )

  1. Date: 11/1/2012 7:06:00 AM
    Sad and very emotive piece penned Susan. Belated congrats on your win!

  1. Date: 10/27/2012 2:24:00 PM
    Very nicely penned and congrats on your win. love phyl

  1. Date: 10/25/2012 10:43:00 AM
    glad i found this poem, Susan, it is so profound, so heartfelt, yet one as to reasd it again and again.... wow the captcha is cubs

    horsman Avatar harry horsman
    Date: 10/25/2012 10:43:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    that is read
  1. Date: 10/21/2012 5:21:00 AM
    what an array of feelings this poem conveys or produces in the reader. Grabbed me and wouldn't let go . very well done.! and thanks for the comments...

  1. Date: 10/18/2012 4:58:00 PM
    I've heard of the phenomenon of false pregnancies. Great story for the contests and congratulations on your win. Love, Joyce

  1. Date: 10/18/2012 3:29:00 PM
    Susan, congrats in Cyndi's contest--a talented write with a clever twist.

  1. Date: 10/18/2012 2:52:00 PM
    susan, you did really well with one of your first sonnets. Congrats. I have not seen the specific winners list yet. I will check it out if I have time. Luv, andrea

  1. Date: 10/18/2012 11:11:00 AM
    Enjoyed reading this creative work..Congrats on your win..Sara..It was sad but not as sad if it had been an actual baby..Sara

  1. Date: 10/18/2012 8:22:00 AM

  1. Date: 10/18/2012 7:54:00 AM
    Congratulations on your win.

  1. Date: 10/18/2012 6:27:00 AM
    Congratulations on your 4th place win in Cyndi's contest Susan. Love, Carol XXXX

  1. Date: 10/17/2012 10:37:00 PM
    congrats on a great win Susan

  1. Date: 10/15/2012 8:40:00 PM
    Hola, Susan, wow... you could have entered this in scribes contest... I love what you did here, last year, they could not find my babygrandaughter heart beat. The doctors gave us a scare for over a week. after the second sonogram, we finally heard a heart beat. thanks God, .. your poem has a very heart felt ending. maybe it is for the better for there not to be a baby in the tomb, than one dead inside of her. still a sad tale. God luck, xox~pd