The Danger of Ill-Considered Birthday Presents

For his fifth birthday, Heathcliff Received a toy sword and sheath With bubble mixture inside from His absent-minded Uncle Keith. It seemed an ideal gift. Heathcliff tingled with pride, Blowing heavenly bubbles In the lugholes of his relations, As they beamed with adult adoration For a child achieving the easily achievable. But twenty six years on, at sea, Heathcliff was besieged by pirates With six foot sabres gleaming Like stainless steel cutlery. Alas, our hero's bubble sword Offered poor protection. An Uncle's birthday bungling Had doomed the lad to bloody vivisection.